I have rarely cried since I had a hysterectomy in 2008. I thought it was hormones. DV, divorce, cancer, COVID, partial blindness … profound sadness, no tears. Loss of a pet, some tears.
I've noticed I only feel emotions in dreams. They're sharp and clearly delineated, defined. In the waking world it's fairly monotone and diffuse, just vague impressions of superficial states with an unchanging core, or undercurrent.
Over the past 5 years I've noticed that not only have I been unable to cry, all though I have been depressed a lot, I haven't laughed in over 5 years either.
Another issue that should be added to the reason that some people can’t cry is antidepressants. I found that when I was taking Lexapro, my emotions were suppressed. At the time that was ok, after the suicide of my son, but after 6 years, I am off antidepressants. Now I do cry at movies or songs and when I think about my son but it is not all the time.
“Do you want me to call your psychiatrist, maybe we need to increase your medication” just because someone says they’re fine but look anxious? I really like some of the things you discuss Kati, but when things like this are said I really struggle to decide if want to continue watching. My reason for this is that I want to focus on a trauma informed anti pathology approach. You do you of course, just thinking out loud.
Growing up, my parents, especially my mom, told me “don’t let that get to you”,: which caused me to believe it wasn’t ok to feel however I was feeling. But it was how my mom was raised. Ive gotten better at feeling my feelings, but since my grandma’s funeral last week, I’ve felt myself shut down again. 🙁 but I know that’s part of the grieving process, and me dealing with PTSD. Another great video. ❤
I wish I had this problem. I just went through the most hell like binge and withdrawals horror show of my life from last Wednesday, until Monday. I have never cried so much in my life. I can still cry on command right now if I wanted to, just by thinking about that traumatic nightmare and my addiction. I'm a man who never cries. I've cried more in a week than I have in 2 decades. Good times.
Hello everyone here in the comments and good evening or morning or afternoon depending on where you live in the world sending care /love and prayers to everyone whos going though mental health issues ❤❤❤
Kati Morton.hello good evening from Nikki from United Kingdom been a while since I been able to get back into watching and listening to these podcasts I'm back and have missed being in the comments I am going though bad physical health issues right now I had a biopsy on my leg and stiches and I can't get out for upto 2 weeks and my depression has been suffering more it's great to see you and hear your calming soft voice lastly good and important questions you always have the best and helpful answers to people s questions ❤❤❤
My mother slam/pinned me up against the hall closet when I was 12, I was upset (don’t remember what she was yelling at me about) and crying. As I was pinned, she snarled “no one gives a fuck if you cry, anyway” I immediately stopped and find my body WILL STOP ME from going there even when appropriate. I did cry silently in secret when my hedgehog died in 2020, so that was good. I try to make myself feel by watching reunion videos on TH-cam. It works sometimes, when I can talk myself out of the fear and embarrassment. I have been in therapy for almost 2 years now and am diagnosed with PTSD. I wish parents understood and CARED what they do to their children SMH
I used to cry oceans. I’ve lost my ability to release & 😢. So much trauma growing up with a narcissist dad who abused my mother. She was a young mom to who was an orphan at 3 years old. She had my sister in the little Sophia home of unwed mothers at 17. First time she had sex with my dad who was 10 years her Senior. They went to a hotel & the proprietor called the police as my mom looked so young. They came & my dad was charged with statutory rape. My mom soon found out she was pregnant 😑 After my sister was born… she was set up in an apartment. One day she was walking with my sister in a stroller & my dad drove by & saw her. He stopped and it was clear that my sister looked just like him. They got married. Soon later… he would become abusive. My mom actually told me … when I was conceived he came home drunk and wreaked of alcohol & perfume 😮& forced himself on her. She said she tried to douche me out but dr said she helped the sperm along which became me. I was the spitting image of my Mom💜 I recall seeing the results of horrific beatings & going to court when she tried to end the marriage. This would be the first time my mom tried to commit suicide. Fast forward to 14 years old & my dad was murdered. By 18 I was pregnant and married to another narcissist. We were married 42 years when he passed away… I haven’t been able to cry… though I wish I could. It is stuck in my throat 😑
Hello Kati, My family and I have been and are going through a lot. I feel so much shame and guilt because my PTSD has made everything worse. But Now I have been so sick of what my PTSD has done that I've gone the other way into wanting to trust people so much that I will go up to complete strangers and ask them to help me get some food. I hate putting my self in danger like this but I am so sick of my life I can't seem to stop. Please help!!!!! I don't want to be murdered or molested again.
I can cry for other people or animals in pain etc. and when I hear certain types of music but not ever for myself, I really want to though because inside I have a huge stack of pain built up over a lifetime that I desperately want to release but whenever I come close to shedding tears it feels as if someone is grabbing me around the throat and wants to deny me that "safety valve". it appears as if I really hate myself and want to punish myself over and over and over-it effectively IS like that.
I think my medications make me less able to cry. On rare occasions that I felt so much distress that I thought I COULD cry, I didn't give in. Not because I was ever told that crying is bad or weak etc. but because of the simple fact that AFTER I DO cry, I feel WORSE, NOT better! I have let myself cry twice in the past 2 years, let myself "let it out" but felt WORSE after and for the rest of the day. Therefore if I ever do get the feeling that I could cry, I fight it. What is another way to get that feeling out that ISNT crying? Also, due to witnessing how my father expressed anger while growing up, I express it like he did which is when I'm scared or sad etc, I go to anger and defensiveness and passive aggressive and avoidance. But if I do feel upset, instead of crying I punch a pillow or a hard inani]mate object like a wall, headboard, floor, a few times.
I cry alot when I think about all the friends I have lost , three this year . I have few people left that I feel love me . I feel like everyone I love and loves me dies , like I'm jot worthy of love .
I have the whole feels like I'm talking about someone else thing in my sessions. But it doesn't feel like I'm trying to keep the feelings inside or trying not to cry. I would like to be able to feel or express something but have no idea how to make that connection. My father died recently and the only time I cried was when a relative came up to me in tears and it was like I was feeling through them rather than feeling for myself. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and have had people say they think I could be on the autistic spectrum though my therapist doesn't think I am but does think I'm neuro divergent but doesn't explain. I feel confused and unsure of who or what I am.
My best advice I can give as a Neurodivergent myself is to do your own research said with kindness and respect. No- one else can tell you who you are..... As only you yourself are the expert on your own experiences and emotions♡ I only discovered whom I was through very deep and thorough research.. By looking at videos on the Internet from other Neurodivergent influencers/ creators 🙂 I went a quarter of my entire life being completely unaware I was uniquely human/..... Had invisible differences and what that meant, as they're other forms of neurodivergence like ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD just to name a few not only Autism 💗 I'm in no position to tell you.. Whom you are, my only suggestion is to do your research like I did and, it unlocks a whole new world to answers you never had before♡ Neurodivergent tick-tock videos can help, but..... Most of all Neurodivergent content creators on TH-cam:) Once you start to find resemblance to other neurodivergents, trust your insticts and seek out those answers as only you, know what.. It's like to have these internal experiences and internal emotions, nobody else has the right to tell you whom you are or whom you're not..... Just in your own time I would suggest doing some real thorough research, maybe even joining a neurodivergent support- group, like on Facebook or something that's what helped me heaps, especially.. When I was still working out what those invisible differences were I have, hope this is helpful and that my comment/ advice was of benefit to you, take care said with kindness and respect ♡♡
14:20 what would be your suggestion for a high schooler like me who still has to live with their parents so therefore can't avoid them? I have no safe space in my life so I'm forced to live in a constant state of fear and anxiety of setting them off Edit to add: I have 0 friends, so that option is out, and my SO and I are long-distance
I can't figure out if I'm just not chronically sad anymore and can uplift myself easier...or if there's something wrong with me. I can well up with maybe a few tear drops but I get relief sooner. Or there's just so much going on in the world that I can no longer connect to tears anymore. I have never been a big cryer , except a few times that I gushed tears. [death of a beloved pet in 2016 , and one health issue in the late 90's]
I’ve cried in therapy one time because my therapist was sure it was impossible to get a reaction out of me, so my therapist and my mom tried to make me cry
What if people are wanting therapy to be productive or are rushing to fix problems because they have a time limit? For example, they can only afford a certain number of sessions or it's free for a certain amount of time. I was offer free CBT but only up to 3 months. Or maybe they are in a toxic environment or have physical barriers or other responsibilities so they can only do therapy in at certain time or environment.
I don't know why but I got kinda tickled when the person with the first question said that even their therapist cried but they couldn't. I'm goofy, don't mind me.🤭
Kati Morton.i like your top and the light make up you are wearing you always look good no matter if you wear make up or not i still wish you was a therapist in United Kingdom near me i need a therapist like you ❤❤
I have rarely cried since I had a hysterectomy in 2008. I thought it was hormones. DV, divorce, cancer, COVID, partial blindness … profound sadness, no tears. Loss of a pet, some tears.
❤ girl, me too. I can ball for the loss of a pet tho. I learned it didn't matter around people. suck it up I guess.
I've noticed I only feel emotions in dreams. They're sharp and clearly delineated, defined. In the waking world it's fairly monotone and diffuse, just vague impressions of superficial states with an unchanging core, or undercurrent.
This is why I hate my anti depressants, can't cry anymore... But my Dr will help me come off them in Spring and when I have done my ADHD diagnosis
Me too... Lexapro and Gabapentin have ganged up on me making it nearly impossible to show emotions, even though I really want to.
They're not "my" antidepressants. That was your first mistake.
Timestamps!
Q1 - 0:38
Q2 - 19:57
Q3 - 23:40
Q4 - 27:13
Q5 - 32:38
Over the past 5 years I've noticed that not only have I been unable to cry, all though I have been depressed a lot, I haven't laughed in over 5 years either.
Why can't I STOP crying? Anything sets me off so depressed.
Thank you for your videos and ALL you do.
Another issue that should be added to the reason that some people can’t cry is antidepressants. I found that when I was taking Lexapro, my emotions were suppressed. At the time that was ok, after the suicide of my son, but after 6 years, I am off antidepressants. Now I do cry at movies or songs and when I think about my son but it is not all the time.
I still feel numbed even after I stopped taking antidepressants. I've never really felt the same since.
“Do you want me to call your psychiatrist, maybe we need to increase your medication” just because someone says they’re fine but look anxious? I really like some of the things you discuss Kati, but when things like this are said I really struggle to decide if want to continue watching. My reason for this is that I want to focus on a trauma informed anti pathology approach. You do you of course, just thinking out loud.
Growing up, my parents, especially my mom, told me “don’t let that get to you”,: which caused me to believe it wasn’t ok to feel however I was feeling. But it was how my mom was raised. Ive gotten better at feeling my feelings, but since my grandma’s funeral last week, I’ve felt myself shut down again. 🙁 but I know that’s part of the grieving process, and me dealing with PTSD. Another great video. ❤
I wish I had this problem. I just went through the most hell like binge and withdrawals horror show of my life from last Wednesday, until Monday. I have never cried so much in my life. I can still cry on command right now if I wanted to, just by thinking about that traumatic nightmare and my addiction. I'm a man who never cries. I've cried more in a week than I have in 2 decades. Good times.
I cried almost every day for 10 years. Never got better...
God bless you Katie for your work.
Hello everyone here in the comments and good evening or morning or afternoon depending on where you live in the world sending care /love and prayers to everyone whos going though mental health issues ❤❤❤
This caught my attention...listening...❤
This podcast has helped me so much I struggle with a lot of stuff I just wanted to say thank you and to keep up the good work❤
Kati Morton.hello good evening from Nikki from United Kingdom been a while since I been able to get back into watching and listening to these podcasts I'm back and have missed being in the comments I am going though bad physical health issues right now I had a biopsy on my leg and stiches and I can't get out for upto 2 weeks and my depression has been suffering more it's great to see you and hear your calming soft voice lastly good and important questions you always have the best and helpful answers to people s questions ❤❤❤
Why no more time stamps for the different questions 😢
You’re the best my friend
My mother slam/pinned me up against the hall closet when I was 12, I was upset (don’t remember what she was yelling at me about) and crying. As I was pinned, she snarled “no one gives a fuck if you cry, anyway” I immediately stopped and find my body WILL STOP ME from going there even when appropriate. I did cry silently in secret when my hedgehog died in 2020, so that was good. I try to make myself feel by watching reunion videos on TH-cam. It works sometimes, when I can talk myself out of the fear and embarrassment. I have been in therapy for almost 2 years now and am diagnosed with PTSD.
I wish parents understood and CARED what they do to their children SMH
❤
I used to cry oceans. I’ve lost my ability to release & 😢. So much trauma growing up with a narcissist dad who abused my mother. She was a young mom to who was an orphan at 3 years old. She had my sister in the little Sophia home of unwed mothers at 17. First time she had sex with my dad who was 10 years her Senior. They went to a hotel & the proprietor called the police as my mom looked so young. They came & my dad was charged with statutory rape. My mom soon found out she was pregnant 😑 After my sister was born… she was set up in an apartment. One day she was walking with my sister in a stroller & my dad drove by & saw her. He stopped and it was clear that my sister looked just like him. They got married. Soon later… he would become abusive. My mom actually told me … when I was conceived he came home drunk and wreaked of alcohol & perfume 😮& forced himself on her. She said she tried to douche me out but dr said she helped the sperm along which became me. I was the spitting image of my Mom💜 I recall seeing the results of horrific beatings & going to court when she tried to end the marriage. This would be the first time my mom tried to commit suicide. Fast forward to 14 years old & my dad was murdered. By 18 I was pregnant and married to another narcissist. We were married 42 years when he passed away… I haven’t been able to cry… though I wish I could. It is stuck in my throat 😑
Hello Kati, My family and I have been and are going through a lot. I feel so much shame and guilt because my PTSD has made everything worse. But Now I have been so sick of what my PTSD has done that I've gone the other way into wanting to trust people so much that I will go up to complete strangers and ask them to help me get some food. I hate putting my self in danger like this but I am so sick of my life I can't seem to stop. Please help!!!!! I don't want to be murdered or molested again.
I can cry for other people or animals in pain etc. and when I hear certain types of music but not ever for myself, I really want to though because inside I have a huge stack of pain built up over a lifetime that I desperately want to release but whenever I come close to shedding tears it feels as if someone is grabbing me around the throat and wants to deny me that "safety valve".
it appears as if I really hate myself and want to punish myself over and over and over-it effectively IS like that.
I think my medications make me less able to cry. On rare occasions that I felt so much distress that I thought I COULD cry, I didn't give in. Not because I was ever told that crying is bad or weak etc. but because of the simple fact that AFTER I DO cry, I feel WORSE, NOT better!
I have let myself cry twice in the past 2 years, let myself "let it out" but felt WORSE after and for the rest of the day. Therefore if I ever do get the feeling that I could cry, I fight it.
What is another way to get that feeling out that ISNT crying?
Also, due to witnessing how my father expressed anger while growing up, I express it like he did which is when I'm scared or sad etc, I go to anger and defensiveness and passive aggressive and avoidance. But if I do feel upset, instead of crying I punch a pillow or a hard inani]mate object like a wall, headboard, floor, a few times.
I cry alot when I think about all the friends I have lost , three this year . I have few people left that I feel love me . I feel like everyone I love and loves me dies , like I'm jot worthy of love .
Being in the presence of military personnel make me cry, not much else.
I have the whole feels like I'm talking about someone else thing in my sessions. But it doesn't feel like I'm trying to keep the feelings inside or trying not to cry. I would like to be able to feel or express something but have no idea how to make that connection. My father died recently and the only time I cried was when a relative came up to me in tears and it was like I was feeling through them rather than feeling for myself. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and have had people say they think I could be on the autistic spectrum though my therapist doesn't think I am but does think I'm neuro divergent but doesn't explain. I feel confused and unsure of who or what I am.
My best advice I can give as a Neurodivergent myself is to do your own research said with kindness and respect. No- one else can tell you who you are.....
As only you yourself are the expert on your own experiences and emotions♡ I only discovered whom I was through very deep and thorough research..
By looking at videos on the Internet from other Neurodivergent influencers/ creators 🙂 I went a quarter of my entire life being completely unaware I was uniquely human/.....
Had invisible differences and what that meant, as they're other forms of neurodivergence like ADHD, Dyslexia, OCD just to name a few not only Autism 💗 I'm in no position to tell you..
Whom you are, my only suggestion is to do your research like I did and, it unlocks a whole new world to answers you never had before♡ Neurodivergent tick-tock videos can help, but.....
Most of all Neurodivergent content creators on TH-cam:) Once you start to find resemblance to other neurodivergents, trust your insticts and seek out those answers as only you, know what..
It's like to have these internal experiences and internal emotions, nobody else has the right to tell you whom you are or whom you're not.....
Just in your own time I would suggest doing some real thorough research, maybe even joining a neurodivergent support- group, like on Facebook or something that's what helped me heaps, especially..
When I was still working out what those invisible differences were I have, hope this is helpful and that my comment/ advice was of benefit to you, take care said with kindness and respect ♡♡
14:20 what would be your suggestion for a high schooler like me who still has to live with their parents so therefore can't avoid them? I have no safe space in my life so I'm forced to live in a constant state of fear and anxiety of setting them off
Edit to add: I have 0 friends, so that option is out, and my SO and I are long-distance
I can't figure out if I'm just not chronically sad anymore and can uplift myself easier...or if there's something wrong with me. I can well up with maybe a few tear drops but I get relief sooner. Or there's just so much going on in the world that I can no longer connect to tears anymore. I have never been a big cryer , except a few times that I gushed tears. [death of a beloved pet in 2016 ,
and one health issue in the late 90's]
Hey, Katie. I love your new video.
I’ve cried in therapy one time because my therapist was sure it was impossible to get a reaction out of me, so my therapist and my mom tried to make me cry
wtf is wrong with your mom and therapist????
That sounds like a bad therapist to me though ^_^"
@@damrod i was mad at first, but he wanted to observe how I reacted I get why he did it, he also let me cut the session short after
What if people are wanting therapy to be productive or are rushing to fix problems because they have a time limit? For example, they can only afford a certain number of sessions or it's free for a certain amount of time. I was offer free CBT but only up to 3 months. Or maybe they are in a toxic environment or have physical barriers or other responsibilities so they can only do therapy in at certain time or environment.
I don't know why but I got kinda tickled when the person with the first question said that even their therapist cried but they couldn't. I'm goofy, don't mind me.🤭
Sometimes I cry when those St. Jude commercials come on.
I don't cry anymore because I am insanely overmedicated. And I am not taking any meds. So yeah.
I stopped at 18, and I am 52 now
Time stamps anyone
Kati Morton.i like your top and the light make up you are wearing you always look good no matter if you wear make up or not i still wish you was a therapist in United Kingdom near me i need a therapist like you ❤❤
yeah, drugged again btw. lost my tears
Isn’t trying the normal response to anything stressful?
That’s just normal expression
Not necessarily, it depends how stressful it is and how much you cried
Ok
Mee too first
😮 am I first?
Yes