Being a black gay man, who still has to think about how I present myself, this movie means everything to me. And you talking the time talk about is just yet another reason why I love you and what you do man. Just, thank you for existing.
You are the reason humanity will keep doing movies like this one. Thank you for inspiring the rest of us to behave better than you. I hope you don’t have to go through awful stuff to be more empathic and grooow up.
Moonlight is beautiful. I grew up with the pressure of "I'm not being a real black man" cause I'm not following the standard stereotype. It always felt so suffocating.
Same here. I'm one of those "White" black boys. I used to switch the way I act around black people to act a little bit more "black" to not look too soft. I finally came to terms with myself that I shouldn't have to change who I really am
As a black gay teen i’m often called “white washed” or “oreo” just because i don’t dress or conform to the norms that have been set for black guys and it honestly makes me sad. Even from other fellow black people it’s like once you come out as gay or non straight, you’re automatically excluded in a way
Yeah, same for black women. To not act or dress a certain way of how the typical black girl should be. But there's no such thing as what a black person is. We can't fit into one limited box.
It's also why whenever I see these same type of people speak politically, I'd never treat them seriously. Knowledge and independent thought in the state of florida was against the norm and everyone has to have a hivemind. People full blown thought I was white because of how fast I make essays.
I didnt have a chance to learn how to be a man. I was thrown into the world. I had to get hard and stay hard. Then I met my wife and had kids. I learned I couldn't be hard anymore. The hard part has been finding the balance. I try to be tough enough to earn respect and be the authority figure. But also soft enough so that my kids know they can always come to me. It's hard. Really, really hard. Constantly balancing who you want to be, who you need to be, and what society thinks you should be.
@@hylianbatman3153 i’m not sure what the other person was talking about lol, but i just wanted to say that i understand how tough it may be to balance the two .. just know and understand that you’re allowed to be soft. you’re allowed to feel your emotions. being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, if anything, it makes you strong. those who run away from those emotions is what makes one weak. know that you don’t have to balance between anything! be exactly who you want to me. wishing you nothing but blessings!
@@MasterQueen1121 Being vulnerable doesn't automatically make you strong. There's a biological (and realistic) reason for putting up defenses, and it won't leaving us any time soon. Vulnerability can and will result in you getting manipulated, which is why so many people put up walls after having something bad happen to them. There's strength in being able to DEFEND your being vulnerable. I'll call a man strong when he can be himself in public without having the police a block away, ready to save him in case of trouble. Self-exploration is a luxury, and it has to be defended. Just like freedom. If living in a gated community results in your safety for example, then can you actually say that *you* are the direct reason for your safety?
When "Black" said he had to rebuild himself up strong. At the end of the movie, i remember crying because i felt that. Its tough as a black male to balance that idea of "masculinity" and humanity. I remember growing up and being taught if not straight up from words but through experience that you can NEVER let anyone try you. If you do you're soft. If a woman "disrespect" you you gotta "put her in her place". I don't wanna go on and on but this is how i was brought up too but i was lucky to have parents that taught me otherwise but even still theres this cognitive dissonance i have in my head at times if those actions and ideals are accurate to reality or if its just stupid logic that has tainted my upbring in conflict with what i was taught by my parents. I been a decent number of fights and i do believe if you let someone try you, you'll be subservient in the eyes of your people and yourself despite that being completely fucking stupid. We all have to play the social role expected of us and codeswitch when we can, but isnt that just deluding yourself? Idk. I suppose this will be one of those questions ill never find an answer to, but i appreciate you making this video and speaking on it. Moonlight was fucking awesome!
Wolves have the same dominance system it’s surivial of the fittest and that’s how you make it in a dog eat dog world you’ll have resources and protection but no emotional fulfillment and so comes the choice that every man must make. To be an animal or a soul
@@michaeloconnell7274 No they don't, wolf packs in nature function as a family unit the parents are naturally the leaders and they guide their children. All that alpha nonsense was debunked decades ago.
As a black man I think every black man should create their own man inside and express it. Who cares what everybody want to see in a man because end of the day you still developing your own meaning of a man. If that makes sense
Sage if you ever need someone to talk to we here for you bro, doesn’t have anything to do with the video but just letting you know. I hope you enjoy your day. 🤝
I see a lot of these similarities in the Latino/Chicano community. This idea that being a true man is holding your tears back and being hard, stern, and assertive, especially in economically disadvantaged communities. I wonder if this cycle of hypermasculinity is more present in marginalized communities as a survival mechanism. In order for men of color to provide for their own, they can't afford to be soft and vulnerable. Beautiful video, this is easily my favorite one you've made so far!! Absolutely love this film and your commentary is brilliant 💙 Also thanks for that Portrait snippet 🥺💕
Oh yeah. Toughness can be used as a survival mechanism. A lot of media shows the threat/consequence of losing your sense of self if you stay in that for too long. What I love in current media is how characters are fighting back against this mentality. We need our gates and walls but we sometimes need to open them up to let the new life in and the travelers out.
@@dominicpersaud1155 you’re right but when you are told you can only be those things and anything else is feminine and soft and bad, it’s mentally detrimental. Pushing and forcing these roles on men is what leads to hyper masculinity and it’s toxic. You can naturally be those things and that’s fine, no one should be pushing and forcing these things onto you
I found Moonlight to be ironically funny like The Boondocks when it first came out. The Boondocks, which tries to drive an underlying message home through satire (usually by cranking up a stereotype to 11) ends up being more popularizd for its "Watch these black folk wildin out" moments than what the moments serve to highlight. In that same vein, when Moonlight dropped and straight up pierced the armored facade of many people's perception of masculinity, I remember it being called "soft" or "sweet" by anyone in the hood that brought it up (I would have said it was their denial of their perception of masculinity being exposed, but many harshly critiqued it off of what he said-she said. "The main character and his homie both gay? Nah, bruh. You can take that sweet mess somewhere else." The presentation that was made to make the message more digestible ended up being swept aside like a side order of broccoli a kid didn't want. (Sage's Rain, you continue to impress.👏)
I think as men we are taught that love, emotion, innocence, fears, venerability are but frivolous tools and they should be discarded in exchange for logic, domination, strength and stoicism and we’re taught that this is what we should be. Violence is but a show of strength weather it be false or true that fighting shows who you are as a man no softness, just stone cold inside and out until it eats away at your very soul. Getting teased or bullied for showing vulnerable sides having true feelings or secrets passed around like a family heirloom that’s what leads to many destructive paths for others and yourself. As men we must allow ourselves to feel, express and be vulnerable no matter the end result because in the end at least we were able to show who we really are before it was too late.
Thing is there's always this biological, evolutionary component everyone likes to oversee. Men are not less emotional, just because they tend to be more aggressive, it's just an inherited coping mechanism that was important back then (as it is today in some areas) when men needed to focus 🧘♀️ n order to get the job done, instead of breaking down. It's never only nurture, it's both nature and nurture.
who teaches men that? i think many men choose to think that, without much influence. and even when presented with an opposite perspective, continue to choose this way of thinking you see as detrimental and “forced” on them
A guy dates his virtual assistant and truly falls in love with it and the movie really makes you believe the assistant loves him back with how advanced it is. It’s a very amazing movie.
This is one of the most important videos I have ever watched. Talking about Hard Masculinity and other ways a man can be a man is so extremely important. I go to a school in the hood, and every day I pass by Chirons, I see them everywhere, I see people having to revert into hard masculinity everywhere, and it is so painful to watch. I am a 6'3 giant with a beard, but I am also openly pansexual and am horrible at fighting. No one messes with me because I'm giant, but I see it all the time where small dudes get the shit kicked out of them, dudes having to revert to cavemen and gladiators because they showed a single sliver of emotion, and people desperately hiding in the closet for their entire lives because they know if their family knew they would get beaten to death. New ideas about masculinity, counters to hard masculinity, are just not concepts that are discussed often enough. Most of what we talk about when it comes to things such as that are in relation to femininity, about breaking the patriarchy to help women, but we need to do more for men too. We can't solve our gender equality problems by only addressing women's issues, as he said in the video, patriarchy hurts both men and women. We are in desperate need of more stories such as this, stories that prompt new ideas on how to be a man. I could probably talk for days on end about this issue, but I will end this comment here, it's becoming sort of ranty
As a white guy who grew up in the deep south you will be surprised by the similarities (hell I was myself) you grew up in some hyper religious house holds that expected you to act a certain way and to treat certain people different than others. You were taught to not associate with these groups or become like the people in these groups all the while never really being able to talk about how you feel in fear of making you look like you are apart of them and them hating you for it because you weren't "a man" This is all the while many families being broken by alcoholic parents that are absent from their lives and people that are living in houses that I wouldn't even let my dog stay in goes to show just how many similarities there is in life
We have more in common than different. Location and stages maybe different but the struggles are the same. Good on you for making it to the other side with your humanity intact and able to see the similarities that alot of people on the margins experience!
To everybody interested if you liked/loved Moonlight I highly recommend Pelo Malo/Bad Hair! Deals with very similar themes of homophobia, masculinity and single mother-son relationships. Both are must watch films!!
I cosign this! The scene near the end of the movie with the son and mother finally admitting out loud what they really thought about each other when their actions throughout the entire movie told us behaviorally was powerful and gut wrenching. It and its implications for their "universe" stayed with me for days, much like many of the scenes from Moonlight did.
I'm not even gonna lie when he was breaking down chiron it felt like he was breaking down me and how I felt. I even paused the video to cry because it just felt so true, especially when he was saying how with black masculinity you can't really express who you are. This video essay is amazing and really gives introspective look into the young black male community.
This video reminds me of an interesting way to read the themes of Naruto. Like how in the Land of Waves Zabuza grew up into a (not really) heartless killing machine and used Haku as a tool. Some of his last words were him talking about no matter how hard they try to escape their humanity, shinobi are human. Replace “shinobi” with “men” and you have a pretty good summarization of how society sees them. And not just there, but the last third ninja war had all sides throwing children at eachother, copying what happened in major conflicts throughout human history, especially the last couple centuries. Using people, especially boys and men, as meat shields and glorified attack dogs without letting them be real men at all. Then you have Gaara, whose story about being raised as a weapon without love is self-explanatory.
Im technically an unmasculine black man, i was always happy, bubbly empathetic friendly, but also shy and reserved at times, and thats uncommon in the community, i grew up in a privileged middle-class lifestyle, surrounded by Whites, Latinos, South and East Asians and Middle-Easterners, i rarely encountered other black students until junior high, and i felt so out of place with them, because they came from rough backgrounds from the inner-city, didn't live in houses, and parents didn't have degrees. I was often told that i wasn't "black enough for them, becuase i was too friendly, happy, empathetic, and not cold, rude, aggressive". I attempted to be a stereotype but i failed. After 24 years, i've come to the realization that i'm not the most masculine black guy in the world and i should stop trying so hard to be "stereotypically masculine" and embrace myself. I know too many "Chirions" who grew up in privileged middle class lifestyles, around suburban kids of all culures and races, and they felt the need to prove their blackness to the hood, by distancing themselves from the non-blacks and started hanging out with the inner-city kids and their lives ended in a wrong way.
I relate to this heavy. My dads family would often confuse me not being as masculine as other black boys, with me being gay. Even though I’m not, they were incredibly homophobic and would shit on me at every gathering growing up. If I disagreed with something that they’d say I’d be “sounding like a female.” (Side note: That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.) Nowadays I don’t give a damn about being “masculine” or “feminine.” I am who I am and that’s just another human making his way through life.
@@kingdavidthegreatprick5410 because that’s how things are in the black community. If you’re not black, it’s understandable that you don’t understand. If you are black, (even if you ain’t grow up in the “hood”) I’m surprised that this surprises you
I'm a straight black man and when I wathced moonlight it legit made me cry. Not because I can relate to the homosexual aspect of the film but because I can relate to the masculine and human aspect of it. This synopsis is beautiful and a work or art man. Much love!
@sagesrain I literally broke down into tears after watching this. Too many things that you said resonated with me. I'm black and 17 years old. But me crying just released so much and I felt like a weight had been taken off, thank you.
I'm not black, but I am a gay man that grew up in an impoverished place, in a dysfunctional home. For me, and I mean no disrespect to anyone else's experience, even though I am not black, this film meant more to me than any other in the last decade - the expectations of men in this film were the same I grew up in, and I too had to maneuver that catwalk all the while fighting off same-sex attraction in a home with a paucity of love and affection. I've watched Moonlight many times and will many more, each time alone because I don't want others to see how it affects me.
watched this beautiful film for the first time my senior year in film class... honestly changed my life... i watched it again recently now at 21. truly an amazing piece... as a black, queer, trans man, my connection to masculinity and my experiences growing up as a female rather than these experiences truly has reverted things... being on T strangely has assisted me in embracing my emotions, etc
As a 33 year old man of color this is very true on how we grow up. I know a lot of guys that are undercover gay. But sacred to show it I can see it in the way they speak how they move and how they treat and talk to females. So when a female of color meets a man that treats her with love and care and respect she doesn't know how to handle it and calls him gay. I've had to play that taught guy role just to survive I'm not gay. But I just wanted to be left alone and people grown men saw that as weakness and took it upon themselves to bully me. But once that side of me took a backseat and I let that rage peak for just a heart beat I saw the true cowards that they were. But this also let me know how dangerous I can be when pushed. Now as I grown man I have no room or tolerance for those who prey on the young weak or unsuspecting. For I once was all of those things and I saw and felt how people treated me. So to see it happen to a child who just wants to be a child I can't nor will I stand for it.
Moonlight to me is a sort of tragic truth of life, but especially for those of color. Especially since it seems that most media shows these exaggerated masculine characters as the norm. And for one's whole life if all you've ever known is this image, how can you not be anything else. That is why representation is so important, it shatters that illusion. I'm glad you made a video on Moonlight, i didn't know such a powerful film existed.
I think the lgbt community is best described not as a group of people, but a group of PEOPLES. Lives so diverse yet experiences so universal there’s no other option but to group together. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand what this movie means to people, but I’m so glad it exists.
As a young white man I grew up around many black children, many of whom were my very close friends, and now I see why some of them just weren't all that well off emotionally.
Great video! I do think the idea that black communities are seen as more homophobic, toxic and devoid of father figures deserves more scrutiny. Not only are these problems often exaggerated and used to explain away other issues in the black community, there's also a direct link with the history of white supremacy: mass incarceration, the presumed inadequacy of black masculinity, poverty, and misogyny and homophobia in American society more generally. To attribute these issues to black communities while ignoring the context would be a mistake, I believe.
Moonlight is an absolute gem. I watched it yesterday and I absolutely broke down. I relate to Chiron so much. All we really want is love and acceptance, but when you have to hide parts of yourself in order for people to accept you, it’s suffocating. 💔
Juan is the perfect example of why black boys need a father figure. Whether they grew up gay, or straight. Having a father figure to guide them for life is necessary. Especially when, one doesn't have anyone to turn to.
I have yet to watch this movie bc from what I heard it feels like I'm just going to relive the trauma I experienced ( and pain I still feel) as a young black gay man. Growing up with a single mother who was also a Muslim woman people constantly reinforced the notion that I needed a male role model and that me being feminine was a flaw. I later learmed that it wasn't me who was flawed but the ideas of hypermasculinity young black boys are expected to live up to. Hopefully this video could at least give me insight on what I missed.
probably not a hot take but all the same: Moonlight is the greatest film of all time. i have seen plenty of good movies but not one that moves like actual poetry on the screen, no less with subject matter that needs to be addressed. just hearing you talk about it even though i haven't watched it in a while made me want to cry again, i was that moved. so grateful for this film existing. i hope that Black men see it and know that it's okay to be in touch with their feelings. you have been demonized by the world around you for too long.
I’ve watched this movie a total of 4 times now, and it took the 4th time for me to understand why I keep coming back to it. I broke all over again. My inner child is still angry and isolating himself. I’m just now learning how to process my past, and how to not shut people out, how to be vulnerable without worrying about the consequences. I’m still trying to forgive my father. I’m still bitter over him. How can someone be there, and still not be there? What am I here for, then? Acting clueless pertaining to the hurt I got dealt by him, feeling like my experience is just overly dramatized, because he seems to have no idea why I’m completely void in his presence... It’s a process.
This is why i love this movie i am from Africa and i know what he live at school, home and my life. This is why i realize i was like Chiron and it hurts me so much. Nice video Sage i am proud of you
edit: my apologies for this being so long of a comment but thanks to the few who read this fully. few things, this is one great birthday gift, never knew this movie existed. And this really helps me now understand somewhat or get an idea of the reason for my black peers to be nowhere as close to like me. I myself am black, but the thing is I didn't grow up in the hood or anything of sorts, my mother is wealthy enough for me and her to afford to live in a house she bought and not rent. I didn't know what the hood was until recent years, I've only had my stepbrother that I live with that I can learn from of what that lifestyle was like. Comparison from me to him is largely different, I'm pansexual (other terms bi & personality based), I love drawing and have been swimming ever since I was really young, I'm a really open guy and try to be a genuinely nice guy, I hardly result to violence when I do they come in large outbursts, and I just feel like compared to all the black people I know (other than my mother) they're nothing like me, I'll be honest they all suck at swimming and say they don't care to learn, their drawing is eh but they don't really care much bout art, and their sexuality is all the same, straight. And they result in bullying and picking on other kids. My stepbrother is no different, when I first met the first thing he asked is if we could fight. Moving topics, it's passed my birthday, didn't get much I liked, and neither did I appreciate it as much as I should've, reflecting on how I felt on my birthday I refer to myself as spoiled. I see what my brother gets for his and thinks I need that, when no I don't. This video made me realize how much of an idiot I was, not to realize where my brother came from, being in abusive relations with his father, getting bullied and picked on by his peers, hardly being able to afford anywhere to live that didn't have insects everywhere. So I'm glad for him, I'm glad me and my mother helped him out and ditched his father. Overall what I'm trying to say is that I now understand the reason why my black peers behave as such, I understand now that yeah I'm a small majority, I realize now that my brother could've had it way worse if he hadn't found us. And also some other things before I end this, I didn't get this video the first time I watched it because I was only thinking about myself and how it compared "I'm not like that, I don't do result only with violence" is what I was saying in my head but took a few rewatches to get it. I also would like to commentate that I'm not really that strong, I mean I'm fit for a swimmer, but I'm hella skinny, I don't like showing off and see no reason for it. And in summary, this is the reason why I didn't get it at first, and I thank you for helping me better understand my brother. Though my relations with him aren't the best for many reasons I can at least now understand why he's like the way he is. Thank You. (also yes I do acknowledge my grammar sucks, so I'm hoping that sounded together and well through. Not the best with grammar and spelling tbh)
Wow Sage's Rain... I even don't have the word, just thank you for your sensitivity. Moonlight is one of my favorite movie and I relate so much to Chiron even if I am not gay and black 😅 and what you say about protect yourself, being violent and angry to be a man is so relatable and I feel that to be a man we can be both vulnerable and angry, being and showing our complexity as men and also as human being and I am sure with video like that we will be allow to do that ! The scene with Juan and Chiron in the water always tears me and instead of having a Juan in my life I hope to be a Juan for the young boy in me and maybe for other young boy Sorry if my word are clumsy and thank you again
I was deeply moved by this film. I really appreciate you for highlighting it with your essay, and I hope you know that you've made a difference in using your platform to discuss it. Thank you (:
I have never seen one of your videos and not thought, what an amazing person you are. I love listening to your voice and your breakdown of any subject. Please keep doing what you’re doing; you have a fan for life. Thanks
as a black guy this movie really resonates with me, it exactly how i feel. so much pain and vulnerability. living with abusive family is not something anyone should have to live with,. in western society, the expectations and stereotypes on black men it makes it feel like i have enemies from every direction in this world. A man has to ignore his surrounding and keep working on himself, work and escape the matrix.
wow. just came up on my recommend and just wow. this is was an amazing video i’m glad you were able to help spread the message of this beautiful movie, continue doing what you’re doing!
Something I also noticed just by watching this video is that while Chiron's perceptions of being a man, of conforming to toxic masculinity is enforced by the men around him, it is also stressed by his mother too. It is not just men that pressure men to conform to an unreal, dangerous standards. Women are just as capable of spreading toxic masculinity and expecting it of men.
I'm always blown away by your videos. I am not the best at explaining (with words) how I feel about you and your videos. But please know that your videos make me feel multiple things, and make me strive for personal fulfillment.
Coming from someone who’s made friends with his bullies and gotten the best of them, no matter how many obstacles and excuses you put out no matter how many rules you follow you are simply free, and the sooner you grow out of your vulnerability the sooner you’ll shape your world and the more respect you’ll accumulate, bullying seems to have been around for as long as boys and girls shared a room long enough to assume their position, to deal with a bully is to fight to the point of their vulnerability a place where they won’t feel capable of anything and start to change tactics which will now put the victim and the oppressor at the same space and equal footing and then it’s revealed that domination isn’t for men and cooperation and tolerance and understanding are the way ahead, and if they fail to understand and accept then try to make them understand and if it can’t be done do what you gotta do.
It took me 39 years to become at peace with my Masculinity. Shrooms allowed me to understand the importance of balance. I was emotionally constipated, and it allowed me to cry. I cried like someone had died. It felt so good, so liberating. Balance is important across the board, but balancing Masculinity and femininity is very important.. Im a straight male, but the movie touched me, because im about high Vibrations, love who you wanna love. I was happy to see him at peace.
I'm doing research for an assignment on Moonlight and came across this video, I just had to say this was a very profound and insightful video you created. You captured the movie's motives eloquently and this video was very helpful in continuing my own discourse. Wanted to say thanks for your content and your personal interpretations of such a beautiful and thought provoking film. Have a great day if you see this, thanks again :)
I love this video. I knew i loved moonlight the moment i watched it. Yet also felt it conveyed something bigger that i couldn’t understand because i lacked an experience and culture aspect to interpret it. Im gay and hispanic with some experience in mixed neighborhoods in the states but only during my younger years. im glad for your analysis and plan to buy the book you keep using for reference. Thank you
As a Czech person who grew up in a tolerant family and semi tolerant neighborhood, I never had this problem, so I never understood when this happens in movies, why are people like that. Violent, dominant, trying to control other's lives, acting like asses and ruining lives of anyone who is different or is not "man enough". Now I do understand it, but it must be a sad life. I have a few foreign friends who had to grow up like that and when I talked about it with them, I realized how differently various countries and cultures treat people. Of course, we have such people here too, but it's not as bad. I am a pacifist, with emotions, love and empathy, so I feel bad for people who have to go through it and can't imagine myself in their position. I hope that someday, every person will be able to live their life how they want, without getting beaten for being different. This movie is very inspirational and thought provoking for me, thank you for showing me.
Just found out about your channel today. I haven’t seen this movie but boy do I want to go check it out now! As a black man, I know what it’s like to want to be myself and not be held to such a high standard when it comes to masculinity. While I will forever be grateful for the sex I was given at birth, one can’t let that completely define who they are. Just be you; Be proud of who you are, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Thanks so much for making this video man; I’ll be sure to take a look at this movie, and more of your content in the near future :)
Oh this is just perfect for my story. I could never articulate these themes of masculinity and duality. But I have a story in mind. A story of two brothers growing up to be very different men. One is clever and passionate, yet he imitates this wrathful dominating stereotype. His younger brother has some of some of these truly vile traits, yet he refuses to become anything remotely like that type. Grant and Joseph. Both flawed. The former is too narrow minded. And his emotions are honestly boiling over. The later has attempted to purge himself of all desires. He even considers his love to be destructive. Grant attempted to become like his father. While Joseph attempted to become a Buddhist. Neither of these paths truly suited them. And so when they meet each other at the tail end of their developmental years, they clash. Grant ends up going down a new path of self discovery. While Joseph accepts who he is. And strives to become better. The odd thing about Buddhism it’s that it’s not about destroying one’s sense of self. Rather it’s about being able to let go if you earthly attachments. Joseph is my favorite character. And the one earthly attachment he couldn’t let go off was hope. Hope for a future where his family were something else. Better. But he made a horrible sacrifice to save most of what he loved. Why? Because some people refuse to challenge "adversity". Grant's character arc is more closely related to Aragon from Lord of the rings. th-cam.com/video/pv_KAnY5XNQ/w-d-xo.html
Masculinity means courage and protection. True masculinity is standing up against bigotry, bullying, sexual abuse and violence to have empathy for others who are harassed. That is why I used the two words of ‘courage’ having the bravery to stand up against evil and ‘protection’ by protecting innocent people who are bullied from evil. We as a society need healthy positive masculinity period.
This is a perfect definition. To me, this is what masculinity means. For example, it's easy for a man who's built like a football player to instill fear into others. But it's harder for that same man to stand up for others despite what others say and stick to their morals.
I relate a lot to this movie. Not of the sexuality but in terms of toughing up. Growing up I used to be a soft kid and used to be picked. It was on when I decided to fight back and act more "like a man", people started to respect me and take me serious. Even though it's a painful experience I feel like it's necessary to develop a tough skin in order to let the world bully you
abuse is not necessary. what if you weren't the tall guy, or the strong guy. what if you got whooped every fight - those types of things drive men to suicide or to be school shooters. its possible to socialize and cultivate ones masculinity without bullying.
“It’s....hard....being open with you feelings......it makes you vulnerable.....but it doesn’t make you weak......and.....I have to believe that it’s worth it......”
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RIP bell hooks. 💙
Cringe
@@rockysalvatore435 no
@@nkemnoraulmanfredini7286 yes. Bell hooks is gai just like sage.
@@rockysalvatore435 shut up
@@rockysalvatore435 and grow up
I really love men advocating for other men and a healthy concept of masculinity, thank you for this analysis ✨
Being a black gay man, who still has to think about how I present myself, this movie means everything to me. And you talking the time talk about is just yet another reason why I love you and what you do man. Just, thank you for existing.
thank you, i really appreciate this
Same here man
@@SagesRain can you make a video about vegeta
GAYYYYY
You are the reason humanity will keep doing movies like this one. Thank you for inspiring the rest of us to behave better than you. I hope you don’t have to go through awful stuff to be more empathic and grooow up.
Moonlight is beautiful. I grew up with the pressure of "I'm not being a real black man" cause I'm not following the standard stereotype. It always felt so suffocating.
Same here. I'm one of those "White" black boys. I used to switch the way I act around black people to act a little bit more "black" to not look too soft. I finally came to terms with myself that I shouldn't have to change who I really am
@@MoistDelta. I felt the same way, changing my personality because of changing schools and of fearing my classmates would roast all day during school.
xd Delta I relate to this as well...
As a black gay teen i’m often called “white washed” or “oreo” just because i don’t dress or conform to the norms that have been set for black guys and it honestly makes me sad. Even from other fellow black people it’s like once you come out as gay or non straight, you’re automatically excluded in a way
😧😧😧😊😧😧😊😊😊😧😧😧😊😊😧😧😧😊😊
Yeah, same for black women. To not act or dress a certain way of how the typical black girl should be. But there's no such thing as what a black person is. We can't fit into one limited box.
It's also why whenever I see these same type of people speak politically, I'd never treat them seriously. Knowledge and independent thought in the state of florida was against the norm and everyone has to have a hivemind. People full blown thought I was white because of how fast I make essays.
Keep ur head up king 👊🏻
Oreo, ok that was pretty good💀 no offense tho
I didnt have a chance to learn how to be a man. I was thrown into the world. I had to get hard and stay hard. Then I met my wife and had kids. I learned I couldn't be hard anymore. The hard part has been finding the balance. I try to be tough enough to earn respect and be the authority figure. But also soft enough so that my kids know they can always come to me. It's hard. Really, really hard. Constantly balancing who you want to be, who you need to be, and what society thinks you should be.
@Hybrid Vigour literally had nothing to do with my comment or even the video...you high?
@@hylianbatman3153 i’m not sure what the other person was talking about lol, but i just wanted to say that i understand how tough it may be to balance the two .. just know and understand that you’re allowed to be soft. you’re allowed to feel your emotions. being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, if anything, it makes you strong. those who run away from those emotions is what makes one weak. know that you don’t have to balance between anything! be exactly who you want to me. wishing you nothing but blessings!
@@MasterQueen1121 Being vulnerable doesn't automatically make you strong. There's a biological (and realistic) reason for putting up defenses, and it won't leaving us any time soon. Vulnerability can and will result in you getting manipulated, which is why so many people put up walls after having something bad happen to them. There's strength in being able to DEFEND your being vulnerable. I'll call a man strong when he can be himself in public without having the police a block away, ready to save him in case of trouble. Self-exploration is a luxury, and it has to be defended. Just like freedom. If living in a gated community results in your safety for example, then can you actually say that *you* are the direct reason for your safety?
Hit it right on the nail , I struggle with this daily.
yea i'm 5 years late my bad
Bro your videos are always on time! I legit just rewatched this last night. This film is easily in my top 3. ❤️
it's all good worth the wait
You’re perfect sage.
This was still a beautiful video, thank you 🙏🙏
it doesn't matter, this movie is timeless
My father gave me a actual hug that I haven’t had in years. We both cried.
Me now
When "Black" said he had to rebuild himself up strong. At the end of the movie, i remember crying because i felt that. Its tough as a black male to balance that idea of "masculinity" and humanity. I remember growing up and being taught if not straight up from words but through experience that you can NEVER let anyone try you. If you do you're soft. If a woman "disrespect" you you gotta "put her in her place".
I don't wanna go on and on but this is how i was brought up too but i was lucky to have parents that taught me otherwise but even still theres this cognitive dissonance i have in my head at times if those actions and ideals are accurate to reality or if its just stupid logic that has tainted my upbring in conflict with what i was taught by my parents.
I been a decent number of fights and i do believe if you let someone try you, you'll be subservient in the eyes of your people and yourself despite that being completely fucking stupid. We all have to play the social role expected of us and codeswitch when we can, but isnt that just deluding yourself?
Idk. I suppose this will be one of those questions ill never find an answer to, but i appreciate you making this video and speaking on it. Moonlight was fucking awesome!
For me it’s never been about someone trying me but defending myself and the ppl I love. That is when a man should fight.
Wolves have the same dominance system it’s surivial of the fittest and that’s how you make it in a dog eat dog world you’ll have resources and protection but no emotional fulfillment and so comes the choice that every man must make. To be an animal or a soul
disrespecc
Try your best
@@michaeloconnell7274 No they don't, wolf packs in nature function as a family unit the parents are naturally the leaders and they guide their children. All that alpha nonsense was debunked decades ago.
As a black man I think every black man should create their own man inside and express it. Who cares what everybody want to see in a man because end of the day you still developing your own meaning of a man. If that makes sense
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
In the end we're all going to die so why does it matter
@Hybrid Vigour What point are you trying to make here
It's harder to do this when it's been so indoctrinated into society, and worst enforced by your peers 🤷♂️
Meeee
Sage if you ever need someone to talk to we here for you bro, doesn’t have anything to do with the video but just letting you know. I hope you enjoy your day. 🤝
Hell yea we are
I love this comment so much bc facts 🙏🏾
Talk over some chai
This comment warms my heart
I see a lot of these similarities in the Latino/Chicano community. This idea that being a true man is holding your tears back and being hard, stern, and assertive, especially in economically disadvantaged communities.
I wonder if this cycle of hypermasculinity is more present in marginalized communities as a survival mechanism. In order for men of color to provide for their own, they can't afford to be soft and vulnerable.
Beautiful video, this is easily my favorite one you've made so far!! Absolutely love this film and your commentary is brilliant 💙
Also thanks for that Portrait snippet 🥺💕
thank you sharing and thank you claire! 💙
Oh yeah. Toughness can be used as a survival mechanism. A lot of media shows the threat/consequence of losing your sense of self if you stay in that for too long. What I love in current media is how characters are fighting back against this mentality. We need our gates and walls but we sometimes need to open them up to let the new life in and the travelers out.
There is nothing wrong with being hard,stern and assertive, all those qualities are good
Great point you made
@@dominicpersaud1155 you’re right but when you are told you can only be those things and anything else is feminine and soft and bad, it’s mentally detrimental. Pushing and forcing these roles on men is what leads to hyper masculinity and it’s toxic. You can naturally be those things and that’s fine, no one should be pushing and forcing these things onto you
I found Moonlight to be ironically funny like The Boondocks when it first came out. The Boondocks, which tries to drive an underlying message home through satire (usually by cranking up a stereotype to 11) ends up being more popularizd for its "Watch these black folk wildin out" moments than what the moments serve to highlight.
In that same vein, when Moonlight dropped and straight up pierced the armored facade of many people's perception of masculinity, I remember it being called "soft" or "sweet" by anyone in the hood that brought it up (I would have said it was their denial of their perception of masculinity being exposed, but many harshly critiqued it off of what he said-she said.
"The main character and his homie both gay? Nah, bruh. You can take that sweet mess somewhere else."
The presentation that was made to make the message more digestible ended up being swept aside like a side order of broccoli a kid didn't want.
(Sage's Rain, you continue to impress.👏)
@Hybrid Vigour Were you talking with someone and they deleted their comments?
@Hybrid Vigour Ok, cuz I was lost and thought "There's no way this guy is pulling a Karen on me, is he?"
I think as men we are taught that love, emotion, innocence, fears, venerability are but frivolous tools and they should be discarded in exchange for logic, domination, strength and stoicism and we’re taught that this is what we should be.
Violence is but a show of strength weather it be false or true that fighting shows who you are as a man no softness, just stone cold inside and out until it eats away at your very soul.
Getting teased or bullied for showing vulnerable sides having true feelings or secrets passed around like a family heirloom that’s what leads to many destructive paths for others and yourself.
As men we must allow ourselves to feel, express and be vulnerable no matter the end result because in the end at least we were able to show who we really are before it was too late.
Thing is there's always this biological, evolutionary component everyone likes to oversee. Men are not less emotional, just because they tend to be more aggressive, it's just an inherited coping mechanism that was important back then (as it is today in some areas) when men needed to focus 🧘♀️ n order to get the job done, instead of breaking down. It's never only nurture, it's both nature and nurture.
If it makes you feel any better women are told the same thing but told and expected to be those things. No one wins like this. Good luck my dude.
who teaches men that? i think many men choose to think that, without much influence. and even when presented with an opposite perspective, continue to choose this way of thinking you see as detrimental and “forced” on them
Mahershala Ali brings his A-game to every movie💯
Agreed
*You'll laugh at your fears one day when you find out who you truly are, " - Piccolo* 🕶️
Ooh...
@@novastar3990 Ooh..Yes.
Piccolo is very similar to certain mentor archetypes in african mythos i really connect with his ways as a father figure and teacher
Moonlight, her, and boyhood are my favorite character studys.
What's her about?
A guy dates his virtual assistant and truly falls in love with it and the movie really makes you believe the assistant loves him back with how advanced it is. It’s a very amazing movie.
Her constantly makes me cry
FINALLY SOMEONE APPRECIATES HER. that’s my favorite movie
What's boyhood about
Christmas came a whole year early.
This guy never misses🤌🏿
To read too far into your statement. Wouldnt Christmas coming a whole year early be the previous Christmas exactly 365 days earlier?
@@TheB34st021 I love the way your mind works 🤣🤣🤣
@Hybrid Vigour wtf is wrong with you?
@Hybrid Vigour bro no one is pushing anything stfu😭😭
@@MoistDelta. fr
"A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." ~ Don Corleone.
@@kingdavidthegreatprick5410 hahahaha
This is one of the most important videos I have ever watched. Talking about Hard Masculinity and other ways a man can be a man is so extremely important. I go to a school in the hood, and every day I pass by Chirons, I see them everywhere, I see people having to revert into hard masculinity everywhere, and it is so painful to watch. I am a 6'3 giant with a beard, but I am also openly pansexual and am horrible at fighting. No one messes with me because I'm giant, but I see it all the time where small dudes get the shit kicked out of them, dudes having to revert to cavemen and gladiators because they showed a single sliver of emotion, and people desperately hiding in the closet for their entire lives because they know if their family knew they would get beaten to death. New ideas about masculinity, counters to hard masculinity, are just not concepts that are discussed often enough. Most of what we talk about when it comes to things such as that are in relation to femininity, about breaking the patriarchy to help women, but we need to do more for men too. We can't solve our gender equality problems by only addressing women's issues, as he said in the video, patriarchy hurts both men and women. We are in desperate need of more stories such as this, stories that prompt new ideas on how to be a man. I could probably talk for days on end about this issue, but I will end this comment here, it's becoming sort of ranty
thank you so much for sharing
Thank you for your help
As a white guy who grew up in the deep south you will be surprised by the similarities (hell I was myself) you grew up in some hyper religious house holds that expected you to act a certain way and to treat certain people different than others. You were taught to not associate with these groups or become like the people in these groups all the while never really being able to talk about how you feel in fear of making you look like you are apart of them and them hating you for it because you weren't "a man" This is all the while many families being broken by alcoholic parents that are absent from their lives and people that are living in houses that I wouldn't even let my dog stay in goes to show just how many similarities there is in life
Hope your doing well, that sounds like a very ruff life.
@@DavidRodriguez-uf4mq thank you
We have more in common than different. Location and stages maybe different but the struggles are the same. Good on you for making it to the other side with your humanity intact and able to see the similarities that alot of people on the margins experience!
I swear it’s that Alcohol that caused the decline of traditional families and caused feminism. That drink is the mother of evil
@@randomlygeneratedname7171 waaaaahh women got rights and that's bad waaaaah
To everybody interested if you liked/loved Moonlight I highly recommend Pelo Malo/Bad Hair! Deals with very similar themes of homophobia, masculinity and single mother-son relationships. Both are must watch films!!
oh yea that’s a great movie!
I cosign this! The scene near the end of the movie with the son and mother finally admitting out loud what they really thought about each other when their actions throughout the entire movie told us behaviorally was powerful and gut wrenching. It and its implications for their "universe" stayed with me for days, much like many of the scenes from Moonlight did.
Blackbird too
I'm not even gonna lie when he was breaking down chiron it felt like he was breaking down me and how I felt. I even paused the video to cry because it just felt so true, especially when he was saying how with black masculinity you can't really express who you are. This video essay is amazing and really gives introspective look into the young black male community.
This video reminds me of an interesting way to read the themes of Naruto.
Like how in the Land of Waves Zabuza grew up into a (not really) heartless killing machine and used Haku as a tool. Some of his last words were him talking about no matter how hard they try to escape their humanity, shinobi are human. Replace “shinobi” with “men” and you have a pretty good summarization of how society sees them. And not just there, but the last third ninja war had all sides throwing children at eachother, copying what happened in major conflicts throughout human history, especially the last couple centuries. Using people, especially boys and men, as meat shields and glorified attack dogs without letting them be real men at all. Then you have Gaara, whose story about being raised as a weapon without love is self-explanatory.
Holy shit this is amazing
N: "Is it better to be loved or feared? "
MS: "Neither, " "I want people to fear how much they love me. "
Tf does that mean😂
Wtf
Im technically an unmasculine black man, i was always happy, bubbly empathetic friendly, but also shy and reserved at times, and thats uncommon in the community, i grew up in a privileged middle-class lifestyle, surrounded by Whites, Latinos, South and East Asians and Middle-Easterners, i rarely encountered other black students until junior high, and i felt so out of place with them, because they came from rough backgrounds from the inner-city, didn't live in houses, and parents didn't have degrees. I was often told that i wasn't "black enough for them, becuase i was too friendly, happy, empathetic, and not cold, rude, aggressive". I attempted to be a stereotype but i failed. After 24 years, i've come to the realization that i'm not the most masculine black guy in the world and i should stop trying so hard to be "stereotypically masculine" and embrace myself.
I know too many "Chirions" who grew up in privileged middle class lifestyles, around suburban kids of all culures and races, and they felt the need to prove their blackness to the hood, by distancing themselves from the non-blacks and started hanging out with the inner-city kids and their lives ended in a wrong way.
I relate to this heavy. My dads family would often confuse me not being as masculine as other black boys, with me being gay. Even though I’m not, they were incredibly homophobic and would shit on me at every gathering growing up. If I disagreed with something that they’d say I’d be “sounding like a female.” (Side note: That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.) Nowadays I don’t give a damn about being “masculine” or “feminine.” I am who I am and that’s just another human making his way through life.
@@No-sj7bv agreed & relate to100%
@@kingdavidthegreatprick5410 black masculinity doesn't exist
@@kingdavidthegreatprick5410 because that’s how things are in the black community. If you’re not black, it’s understandable that you don’t understand. If you are black, (even if you ain’t grow up in the “hood”) I’m surprised that this surprises you
Relate to this heavy
I'm a straight black man and when I wathced moonlight it legit made me cry. Not because I can relate to the homosexual aspect of the film but because I can relate to the masculine and human aspect of it. This synopsis is beautiful and a work or art man. Much love!
Bro!!! I just made a similar comment. It took me 39 years and shrooms. The journey was mad real. It definitely touched me too
@sagesrain I literally broke down into tears after watching this. Too many things that you said resonated with me. I'm black and 17 years old. But me crying just released so much and I felt like a weight had been taken off, thank you.
I'm not black, but I am a gay man that grew up in an impoverished place, in a dysfunctional home. For me, and I mean no disrespect to anyone else's experience, even though I am not black, this film meant more to me than any other in the last decade - the expectations of men in this film were the same I grew up in, and I too had to maneuver that catwalk all the while fighting off same-sex attraction in a home with a paucity of love and affection. I've watched Moonlight many times and will many more, each time alone because I don't want others to see how it affects me.
watched this beautiful film for the first time my senior year in film class... honestly changed my life... i watched it again recently now at 21. truly an amazing piece... as a black, queer, trans man, my connection to masculinity and my experiences growing up as a female rather than these experiences truly has reverted things... being on T strangely has assisted me in embracing my emotions, etc
As a 33 year old man of color this is very true on how we grow up. I know a lot of guys that are undercover gay. But sacred to show it I can see it in the way they speak how they move and how they treat and talk to females. So when a female of color meets a man that treats her with love and care and respect she doesn't know how to handle it and calls him gay. I've had to play that taught guy role just to survive I'm not gay. But I just wanted to be left alone and people grown men saw that as weakness and took it upon themselves to bully me. But once that side of me took a backseat and I let that rage peak for just a heart beat I saw the true cowards that they were. But this also let me know how dangerous I can be when pushed. Now as I grown man I have no room or tolerance for those who prey on the young weak or unsuspecting. For I once was all of those things and I saw and felt how people treated me. So to see it happen to a child who just wants to be a child I can't nor will I stand for it.
My mom always told me being emotional and senstive doesn't make me any less of a man.
Moonlight to me is a sort of tragic truth of life, but especially for those of color. Especially since it seems that most media shows these exaggerated masculine characters as the norm. And for one's whole life if all you've ever known is this image, how can you not be anything else. That is why representation is so important, it shatters that illusion. I'm glad you made a video on Moonlight, i didn't know such a powerful film existed.
The thumbnail is beautiful ngl. People always over-looked the beauty of black skin.
I think the lgbt community is best described not as a group of people, but a group of PEOPLES. Lives so diverse yet experiences so universal there’s no other option but to group together. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand what this movie means to people, but I’m so glad it exists.
As a young white man I grew up around many black children, many of whom were my very close friends, and now I see why some of them just weren't all that well off emotionally.
Great video! I do think the idea that black communities are seen as more homophobic, toxic and devoid of father figures deserves more scrutiny. Not only are these problems often exaggerated and used to explain away other issues in the black community, there's also a direct link with the history of white supremacy: mass incarceration, the presumed inadequacy of black masculinity, poverty, and misogyny and homophobia in American society more generally. To attribute these issues to black communities while ignoring the context would be a mistake, I believe.
you’re absolutely right
Moonlight is an absolute gem. I watched it yesterday and I absolutely broke down. I relate to Chiron so much. All we really want is love and acceptance, but when you have to hide parts of yourself in order for people to accept you, it’s suffocating. 💔
Juan is the perfect example of why black boys need a father figure.
Whether they grew up gay, or straight. Having a father figure to guide them for life is necessary.
Especially when, one doesn't have anyone to turn to.
Why does your voice make me cry?! T__T
“You have to be vulnerable to be a man”
Phenomenal
You really don’t get enough credit for wisdom in these videos! Thank you from one black man to another ✊🏾
I have yet to watch this movie bc from what I heard it feels like I'm just going to relive the trauma I experienced ( and pain I still feel) as a young black gay man. Growing up with a single mother who was also a Muslim woman people constantly reinforced the notion that I needed a male role model and that me being feminine was a flaw. I later learmed that it wasn't me who was flawed but the ideas of hypermasculinity young black boys are expected to live up to. Hopefully this video could at least give me insight on what I missed.
probably not a hot take but all the same: Moonlight is the greatest film of all time. i have seen plenty of good movies but not one that moves like actual poetry on the screen, no less with subject matter that needs to be addressed. just hearing you talk about it even though i haven't watched it in a while made me want to cry again, i was that moved.
so grateful for this film existing. i hope that Black men see it and know that it's okay to be in touch with their feelings. you have been demonized by the world around you for too long.
Man that was a beautiful take on this movie. ❤
I know you hear this a thousand times a day but I really love, enjoy, and appreciate your videos. 👍
I’m heterosexual however this was literally my life and I deal with trauma daily
@Hybrid Vigour naww
Ditto bro ❤
i cannot believe this was only 17 minutes. it made me cry so much. amazing video.
So many men today deal with this issue every day .
thank you sage’s rain
I didn’t know what the title card “Black” meant until watching this video, thank you so much for this it’s such an important topic ♥️
I’ve watched this movie a total of 4 times now, and it took the 4th time for me to understand why I keep coming back to it. I broke all over again. My inner child is still angry and isolating himself. I’m just now learning how to process my past, and how to not shut people out, how to be vulnerable without worrying about the consequences. I’m still trying to forgive my father. I’m still bitter over him. How can someone be there, and still not be there? What am I here for, then? Acting clueless pertaining to the hurt I got dealt by him, feeling like my experience is just overly dramatized, because he seems to have no idea why I’m completely void in his presence... It’s a process.
This is why i love this movie i am from Africa and i know what he live at school, home and my life. This is why i realize i was like Chiron and it hurts me so much. Nice video Sage i am proud of you
edit: my apologies for this being so long of a comment but thanks to the few who read this fully.
few things, this is one great birthday gift, never knew this movie existed. And this really helps me now understand somewhat or get an idea of the reason for my black peers to be nowhere as close to like me. I myself am black, but the thing is I didn't grow up in the hood or anything of sorts, my mother is wealthy enough for me and her to afford to live in a house she bought and not rent. I didn't know what the hood was until recent years, I've only had my stepbrother that I live with that I can learn from of what that lifestyle was like. Comparison from me to him is largely different, I'm pansexual (other terms bi & personality based), I love drawing and have been swimming ever since I was really young, I'm a really open guy and try to be a genuinely nice guy, I hardly result to violence when I do they come in large outbursts, and I just feel like compared to all the black people I know (other than my mother) they're nothing like me, I'll be honest they all suck at swimming and say they don't care to learn, their drawing is eh but they don't really care much bout art, and their sexuality is all the same, straight. And they result in bullying and picking on other kids. My stepbrother is no different, when I first met the first thing he asked is if we could fight. Moving topics, it's passed my birthday, didn't get much I liked, and neither did I appreciate it as much as I should've, reflecting on how I felt on my birthday I refer to myself as spoiled. I see what my brother gets for his and thinks I need that, when no I don't. This video made me realize how much of an idiot I was, not to realize where my brother came from, being in abusive relations with his father, getting bullied and picked on by his peers, hardly being able to afford anywhere to live that didn't have insects everywhere. So I'm glad for him, I'm glad me and my mother helped him out and ditched his father. Overall what I'm trying to say is that I now understand the reason why my black peers behave as such, I understand now that yeah I'm a small majority, I realize now that my brother could've had it way worse if he hadn't found us. And also some other things before I end this, I didn't get this video the first time I watched it because I was only thinking about myself and how it compared "I'm not like that, I don't do result only with violence" is what I was saying in my head but took a few rewatches to get it. I also would like to commentate that I'm not really that strong, I mean I'm fit for a swimmer, but I'm hella skinny, I don't like showing off and see no reason for it. And in summary, this is the reason why I didn't get it at first, and I thank you for helping me better understand my brother. Though my relations with him aren't the best for many reasons I can at least now understand why he's like the way he is. Thank You. (also yes I do acknowledge my grammar sucks, so I'm hoping that sounded together and well through. Not the best with grammar and spelling tbh)
Wow Sage's Rain... I even don't have the word, just thank you for your sensitivity. Moonlight is one of my favorite movie and I relate so much to Chiron even if I am not gay and black 😅 and what you say about protect yourself, being violent and angry to be a man is so relatable and I feel that to be a man we can be both vulnerable and angry, being and showing our complexity as men and also as human being and I am sure with video like that we will be allow to do that ! The scene with Juan and Chiron in the water always tears me and instead of having a Juan in my life I hope to be a Juan for the young boy in me and maybe for other young boy
Sorry if my word are clumsy and thank you again
This was insanely POWERFUL. Thank you.
I didn’t realize how powerful of a movie this was until I watched this video. Thank you sage
We are living in a time when people have to live in the idea that they are supposed to be instead of being the persons they truly are.
I was deeply moved by this film. I really appreciate you for highlighting it with your essay, and I hope you know that you've made a difference in using your platform to discuss it. Thank you (:
You have an amazing voice. I could listen to you reading numbers from the phone book like it’s the best story ever written
I have never seen one of your videos and not thought, what an amazing person you are. I love listening to your voice and your breakdown of any subject. Please keep doing what you’re doing; you have a fan for life. Thanks
All we want, as people, is to be understood. The lengths we go to in doing so, however, is what seems to separate us.
as a black guy this movie really resonates with me, it exactly how i feel. so much pain and vulnerability. living with abusive family is not something anyone should have to live with,. in western society, the expectations and stereotypes on black men it makes it feel like i have enemies from every direction in this world. A man has to ignore his surrounding and keep working on himself, work and escape the matrix.
Yea I’ve never had it broken down like that I really appreciate that you’ve made this
wow. just came up on my recommend and just wow. this is was an amazing video i’m glad you were able to help spread the message of this beautiful movie, continue doing what you’re doing!
Ughh, beautiful analysis🥺🙌🏾 Really love this and great voice too😍😍
Damn, this made me cry. Excellent analysis of an excellent film. Thanks for making it 🤝
Something I also noticed just by watching this video is that while Chiron's perceptions of being a man, of conforming to toxic masculinity is enforced by the men around him, it is also stressed by his mother too. It is not just men that pressure men to conform to an unreal, dangerous standards. Women are just as capable of spreading toxic masculinity and expecting it of men.
Toxic Masculinity is not real.
You were already one of my favorite Content Creators so for you to do a video on Bell Hooks AND Moonlight 🤯
Bravo sir, bravo 👏
This was beautiful. Thank you for the time you put into this. For all of the reasons you've described, Moonlight is one of my favorite films.
I couldn’t have been more shocked when Juan died : ( Chiron needed him
You are loved. You ate valid. And above all you as a man are allowed to be vulnerable and yourself ❤
Quite possibly the most profound commentary I’ve ever come across on TH-cam. Breathtaking.
I'm always blown away by your videos. I am not the best at explaining (with words) how I feel about you and your videos. But please know that your videos make me feel multiple things, and make me strive for personal fulfillment.
Sages Rain, you have been the most comforting presence on TH-cam I've ever found. Just wanted you to know man, thank you.
Omg, never heard of this movie. Thank you for sharing this video and tell us that this movie existed. Thank you.
Coming from someone who’s made friends with his bullies and gotten the best of them, no matter how many obstacles and excuses you put out no matter how many rules you follow you are simply free, and the sooner you grow out of your vulnerability the sooner you’ll shape your world and the more respect you’ll accumulate, bullying seems to have been around for as long as boys and girls shared a room long enough to assume their position, to deal with a bully is to fight to the point of their vulnerability a place where they won’t feel capable of anything and start to change tactics which will now put the victim and the oppressor at the same space and equal footing and then it’s revealed that domination isn’t for men and cooperation and tolerance and understanding are the way ahead, and if they fail to understand and accept then try to make them understand and if it can’t be done do what you gotta do.
This is beautiful 😭
@Sage's Rain you are the only youtuber to make me cry.Thank you.
Beautiful. I need to rewatch it now
Be strong enough to be gentle
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
It took me 39 years to become at peace with my Masculinity. Shrooms allowed me to understand the importance of balance. I was emotionally constipated, and it allowed me to cry. I cried like someone had died. It felt so good, so liberating. Balance is important across the board, but balancing Masculinity and femininity is very important.. Im a straight male, but the movie touched me, because im about high Vibrations, love who you wanna love. I was happy to see him at peace.
A big issue in our society is that we don't have an official rites of passage for manhood.
The not aloud to exist really hit home for me
I'm doing research for an assignment on Moonlight and came across this video, I just had to say this was a very profound and insightful video you created. You captured the movie's motives eloquently and this video was very helpful in continuing my own discourse. Wanted to say thanks for your content and your personal interpretations of such a beautiful and thought provoking film. Have a great day if you see this, thanks again :)
I love this video. I knew i loved moonlight the moment i watched it. Yet also felt it conveyed something bigger that i couldn’t understand because i lacked an experience and culture aspect to interpret it. Im gay and hispanic with some experience in mixed neighborhoods in the states but only during my younger years. im glad for your analysis and plan to buy the book you keep using for reference. Thank you
As a Czech person who grew up in a tolerant family and semi tolerant neighborhood, I never had this problem, so I never understood when this happens in movies, why are people like that. Violent, dominant, trying to control other's lives, acting like asses and ruining lives of anyone who is different or is not "man enough". Now I do understand it, but it must be a sad life. I have a few foreign friends who had to grow up like that and when I talked about it with them, I realized how differently various countries and cultures treat people. Of course, we have such people here too, but it's not as bad. I am a pacifist, with emotions, love and empathy, so I feel bad for people who have to go through it and can't imagine myself in their position. I hope that someday, every person will be able to live their life how they want, without getting beaten for being different. This movie is very inspirational and thought provoking for me, thank you for showing me.
you have a good soul, i hope your dream comes true too
Well done! Im really impressed how much I agreed with you its always nice to hear someone echo thoughts that you are thinking as well!
What’s crazy is I just watched this 2 days ago now this is in my recommended
Just found out about your channel today. I haven’t seen this movie but boy do I want to go check it out now! As a black man, I know what it’s like to want to be myself and not be held to such a high standard when it comes to masculinity. While I will forever be grateful for the sex I was given at birth, one can’t let that completely define who they are. Just be you; Be proud of who you are, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Thanks so much for making this video man; I’ll be sure to take a look at this movie, and more of your content in the near future :)
Oh this is just perfect for my story. I could never articulate these themes of masculinity and duality. But I have a story in mind. A story of two brothers growing up to be very different men. One is clever and passionate, yet he imitates this wrathful dominating stereotype. His younger brother has some of some of these truly vile traits, yet he refuses to become anything remotely like that type.
Grant and Joseph. Both flawed.
The former is too narrow minded. And his emotions are honestly boiling over.
The later has attempted to purge himself of all desires. He even considers his love to be destructive.
Grant attempted to become like his father. While Joseph attempted to become a Buddhist. Neither of these paths truly suited them. And so when they meet each other at the tail end of their developmental years, they clash.
Grant ends up going down a new path of self discovery. While Joseph accepts who he is. And strives to become better.
The odd thing about Buddhism it’s that it’s not about destroying one’s sense of self. Rather it’s about being able to let go if you earthly attachments. Joseph is my favorite character. And the one earthly attachment he couldn’t let go off was hope. Hope for a future where his family were something else. Better. But he made a horrible sacrifice to save most of what he loved.
Why? Because some people refuse to challenge "adversity".
Grant's character arc is more closely related to Aragon from Lord of the rings.
th-cam.com/video/pv_KAnY5XNQ/w-d-xo.html
this was a beautiful movie how made me cry a couple times
Just got around to watching this. Absolutely beautiful friend, thank you so much for your words
thank you so much!!
Perfect for this month! Love it
This is one of the reasons I love this channel
Masculinity means courage and protection. True masculinity is standing up against bigotry, bullying, sexual abuse and violence to have empathy for others who are harassed. That is why I used the two words of ‘courage’ having the bravery to stand up against evil and ‘protection’ by protecting innocent people who are bullied from evil. We as a society need healthy positive masculinity period.
This is a perfect definition. To me, this is what masculinity means. For example, it's easy for a man who's built like a football player to instill fear into others. But it's harder for that same man to stand up for others despite what others say and stick to their morals.
@@niyalove7001 So true!
That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing this !! LOVE
Was in the mood to cry, so I watched Moonlight again today and then came to this video after. Beautiful analysis ❤
Beautiful video. Had me in tears. I haven't seen this movie, I need to check it out
I relate a lot to this movie. Not of the sexuality but in terms of toughing up. Growing up I used to be a soft kid and used to be picked. It was on when I decided to fight back and act more "like a man", people started to respect me and take me serious. Even though it's a painful experience I feel like it's necessary to develop a tough skin in order to let the world bully you
abuse is not necessary. what if you weren't the tall guy, or the strong guy. what if you got whooped every fight - those types of things drive men to suicide or to be school shooters. its possible to socialize and cultivate ones masculinity without bullying.
“It’s....hard....being open with you feelings......it makes you vulnerable.....but it doesn’t make you weak......and.....I have to believe that it’s worth it......”