Finding forgiveness for my psychiatrist
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
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Thank you! Sharing is caring! I felt so misunderstood until I found your channel 🙏🏻
You and I have the same philosophy about this situation. The people that put all the blame on their doctors seem to never heal. A woman takes benzos and zopiclone for 40 years when the pills had stopped working decades before, yet blames her doctor? Who went back month after month to fill the script? She states its all their fault she's not sleeping and wants to sue. She has no case! It's narcissistic to blame constantly. You're doctor sounded particularly malicious. Most aren't. They weren't schooled in benzo withdrawal. Alot of people don't have any trouble coming off and you can't OD on them. But I think it's time the medical community pay attention to the many of us who do suffer terribly. They need to believe us. I had 78 debilitating symptoms and I'm still healing 4 years later, but I do not hold my doctor responsible. And i got better! The blamers, from what I've observed, do not. Great video!
Thank you
I actually do hold my GP accountable tbh. She did know that the clonazepam she prescribed me without any information went against my specific request of not taking anything habit forming and having refused halcion for sleep. She knew it was also a benzodiazepine and that I didn't want to risk anything depressing my nervous system. She should have just given me melatonin and explained it was the safest option to try. And I only took for 12 days.
Plus my insomnia was from cortisone withdrawal which she also didn't explain at all and I felt so weird and she didn't take me seriously.
It I the doctors faults I alot of cases.
I have nobody to blame but myself. I probably wouldn't have said that before I got sober. I would probably blame the doctor, pharmacies and everyone else for giving me a deadly cocktail of Adderall, Valium and Hydrocodone. This benzo withdrawal process is intense. It makes you look at yourself under a microscope in every aspect of your behavior. It is very painful, but it is part of the journey. I am in the process of learning how to let things go. The looping/ruminating thoughts in benzo withdrawal and in tolerance created some really bad thought processes. In my experience benzos prevented me from moving on from my past instead I never processed anything and had looping thoughts that would typically give me an excuse to use. Plus, they made me stupid. I had lost myself a long time ago. The amount of emotional growth going thru this is allowing me to find that lost inner child. I took benzos because of emotional pain. They created 10x more pain and I lost my sense of self. The great part of this pain is being able to go back and process stuff because it never left me. I just buried it in drugs and alcohol. I finally get to rewrite my story and have the chance to rebuild myself better than I ever was to begin with. I am still looping pretty badly but I am starting to recognize it. It's going to take time.
Hope everyone is well
Thanks again Dan you are a life saver
Bob Bobarino "work in progress"
Hey Dan ma man hope alls well with you... another great video.... I can't comment to much on this one..... I've nobody to blame but myself with this.... I would actually tell lies to my doctor to get a benzo script... I don't need to forgive anyone... I need people to forgive me.
I was not angry at my benzo prescribing Dr. I felt I needed the help at the time. I was angry at the clinic that took me off in way too rapid a taper
Right! Same thing happened to me in treatment.
Namaste, Dan. ❤
I read an article in Vice on Stevie Nicks’ disastrous and heartbreaking experience with Klonopin and her feelings toward the psychiatrist who prescribed them.
People “noticed how down and low-energy (!!!) “
Stevie acted after rehab for cocaine and that maybe she should “see someone.”
As we know, feeling “down” and low-energy” after getting clean from an “ upper,” is PROBABLY going to happen. 😑
Stevie details her experience ( sounding incredibly, sadly familar to Ours) in the article.
Her words ( or sentiment):
“ If I saw that psychiatrist on the Street, I would run him down with my car.”
Stevie is my Hero and a Warrior like Us!
*Don’t get me started on how obsessed I am with her, lol 😍
Many might say Stevie will not be “fully healed “ on every level until she forgives him.
But, hey, Dan, she’s Stevie Nicks, I’m certainly not going to point that out to her! 😅
You? 🤣
I’ve read some about her experience saying she “felt like someone opened the doors to hell and pushed her in.” Or, something to that effect. I can relate. Also, I highly admire Stevie for her songwriting. “Sara”- being one of my all time favorite songs. I even have a cover version I did of it some years ago.
@@philosophicalfishing Yes, that quote is familiar to me, Dan. 🤔
Ohh, Sara is a stunner of a song, I wholeheartedly agree! 😍
Do you play guitar, Dan?
Music is the BEST, isn’t it?
Sound is so very healing.
I’ll find a good Crystal Sound Bowl video and share, how does that sound?
Have you ever experienced a Sound Bath, Dan?
@@donna6165 I do play music. I was in bands for a long time and still play solo now.
I’m familiar with sound baths and have some friends who’ve said they enjoyed them, but I’ve never experienced one. Please do send a video, I’d love to check it out.👍🏻
@@philosophicalfishing That’s fantastic, Dan. 🎸
Music has always been a panacea and a lifeline for me my whole Life as well.
It’s the Best!
I took piano lessons for many, many years and I can recall it gave my Family and friends such pleasure to hear me play.
It’s been quite some years now, but I got a keyboard as a gift and am starting to take Lessons again, Dan! I feel like I am a complete beginner, lol It’s frustrating and yes, sad that I feel like I’m starting from Day 1…it’s all very difficult to remember! 😫
That’s my Ego, lol
No one is Watching!
Haha, I hear your voice in my head right now, Dan.
Just have fun, Donna! 😂
I’ll find my Way, my friend.
One breath, one step, one note at a Time. ❤️
Forgiveness can take a lifetime sometimes.
Absolutely. There’s no time limit on when this will happen. Good point
I feel alot of anger right now towards my doctor that took me off of klonopin cold Turkey, sorry but she should of known you should never take someone off cold Turkey ughhh.i feel like hell right now this is a nightmare.
That’s awful- I’m so sorry that happened. One of the biggest travesties is that the docs who prescribe benzos have no idea how to get people off safely.
I’m starting my job tomorrow washing dishes at 9am I’m worried I won’t sleep at all. I’m super nervous even though it’s such and easy simple job. 2 months off now.
Man, that’s awesome! I know the feeling and it’s totally normal. My skin would crawl even thinking about going back to work, but it will be good for you in the long run. Just remember to take it easy and slow. You don’t have to do or be anything to anyone. You’re just there to do the work in front of you and that’s it.
Thank you! Could you do a vid on windows and waves.
Yes! I’ll make a note of that for a future video.
Yes! Everything you said. Well Put. I also needed to forgive myself :)
Good point- it’s just as important to find that forgiveness for ourselves as well.
I was pressured by the government. I refused and they insisted over and over to the point to get paid I had to take the meds to receive my check. It is a government insurance company. 25 years later I feel I will never be normal again. The withdrawals from coming down too much to fast I’m scared will now never go away. I came down 2.25 mg in six week to .75mg a day. 3 1/2 months still at .75 mg of clonazapam and still having awful symptoms. Is this normal to still be this effect?
😯 wow that’s crazy that you were practically forced to take them. These drugs are so potent and dangerous that nothing surprises me about them anymore.
Alice N Chains - Nutshell Acoustic got me through the worst of the detox
I love that song. I recorded a cover of it years ago.
@@philosophicalfishing Yea Layne had been to rehab 14 times and still couldn’t get sober and I feel like in the acoustic version he’s singing his pain and it sounds so raw I can relate to that song I know being sober and relapsing can become this exhausting battle of tug of war I really like that band.
@@nbamarc2525 layne was on heroin.Poor guy .
Yeah, I guess I could forgive them their stupidity. Yet, there's much more that happened in my personal case. GHB plus retrograde amnesia via Midazalam. Overdosed by factor 12. This was massive bodily harm inflicted in order to take me out. So, no, I don't forgive them.
I'm doing fine, that's all that counts. They are criminals. It's not my job to forgive them. Period.
(I was no addict, I didn't abuse anything. I didn't insult or harm anyone, I didn't deserve this. In this case, I'm 100% victim of them.)
I'm not bitter, I'm just saying: no, I don't forgive them and I can live perfectly fine with this conclusion.
I can understand your point. If you’ve made peace with it in your own way, I think that’s all that really matters. My point is that I had to find a way to clear the resentment out because I didn’t want to live with the toxic anger in my body. Your situation and mine may have some differences as far as perhaps you were completely in the dark about the negative effects whereas I knew they could be harmful(though I didn’t know the extant). It wasn’t about me owing anyone forgiveness, it was strictly about me and my own healing journey that I sought to forgive my doctor, forgive the situation, and forgive myself so that I could let it all go and find peace within myself.
I also don't forgive them. I was given cortisone for clogged ears. It made me sick. I tried to figure put what was happening to me and I sought therapy and alternative therapies. They all thought I should sleep more than I did. I was suggestible in cortizone withdrawal which was scary but I said every therapist and every doctor I was not willing to take addictive or habit forming substances. They really lied to me as if clonazepam was safe. My dad pushed me to take it while I actually didn't want to and needed time to understand what was happening to me. It ruined everything. After 12 days the doctor said to taper. I had said I didn't want to take anything that needed a taper. So I was lied to and she knew what she did.
Hey Dan hope your keeping well good buddy...... I've a question for ya man I'f you don't mind.... what do you think heals first in this.....the mental or the physical symptoms? My jaws in constant pressure agony along with sinus pressure and pain.... its doing ma head in... jaw has a mind if its own sometimes 😆 it moves about by itself it seems...wide mouth one minute then clamped to my teeth the next without even noticng it move...weird check bone pain aswell.... cheers mate... a day at a time.
Thomas! Always good to hear from you man. That’s a good question- I think I’ve had physical and mental symptoms drop off completely and others still persist. In my experience one doesn’t heal before the other, necessarily. I still have benzo belly(physical), and also memory and anxiety issues sometimes(mental). Although, I’d say my mental symptoms aren’t quite as bad or prevalent as my benzo belly is at times. Also, when my belly is real bad my cognition is also worse, so it seems they’re related. I remember I had really terrible sinus pressure too. All I know is that it all gets better with time.
@@philosophicalfishing thanks for reply dan...always good to hear from you to..... I've got the belly stuff bad to.... I wake up in the morning flat as a board...eat some toast and it's as if put 2 or 3 Stone in weight on feeling heavy .... its bloated but feels tight like locked..... im having heavy vision problems to... its like my eyes don't want to work with each other to get the focus correct and light and dark problems....a little light is to much and if its a little shadey it looks black to me..... if its a half light of light and dark I basically just see blurred darkness if im trying to focus on someones face or a object..... Im only saying this to you because I don't know if I should go to an optician or if its just all withdrawal.... it can be hard to tell the difference with things in this.... confusion 😕 😃
@@thomasearly37 every symptom you just described I had the exact same. The vision issues were bad for me too. It’s all optic nerves I think. My vision is much better now
@@philosophicalfishing yeh it's totally messed up how this drug effects every part of the body.... sometimes it's difficult to know if things is withdrawals or something else.... you be like this this long it becomes your new normal and you kinda think this is the way you are but something tells you it's not it's withdrawals....things would be alot easier if some of these big symptoms would drop off.
Sounds to me like you've done a solid 4th...