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@@hazeyhaleighxo0428I think he’s playing on the depression/mental health card, because when depression for example gets really bad, every day tasks feel impossible to do, so I think he’s trying to manipulate her into thinking he’s now fixing his mental health and he’ll no longer be taking his issues out on her
@@youtubeuser3635 I understand where you are coming from. However, speaking from experience, depression has never caused me to be manipulative to the point of abusive, violent behavior. All of what he said is textbook abuser language. He is definitely trying to manipulate her. I’m glad she saw for what it truly was and got out as soon as possible.
It’s very bizarre to me how his video voice and conversing/yelling at his girlfriend is the same voice. That’s just weird to me. In his video he talks AT his audience so when you’re talking to a friend or loved one you talk WITH them. None of his conversations feel like that to me if that makes sense
It’s funny… They don’t listen or change until they have no choice just to reel you back in. It’s a manipulative last resort for them. One of the last things my ex said to me after I was done with him was, “I’m seeing a therapist about my anger issues.” This was after he sent text after text of cussing me out and calling me a pos and all sorts of names.
Yep it's their desperate attempt to get control back. Some of them are really good at playing remorseful and pathetic, to make you feel for them, reinforcing the trauma bond they have with you. It makes it very hard to leave
10000% this was such a big moment in therapy for me. When i went from still enabling behavior in my life from my family. Excusing their behavior with mental health for them. Until i realized i have the same issues and sought out help. It wasn't impossible, and would be easier when i supported them seeking help.
Completely agree. As someone who has dealt with emotional and physical abuse, it can really affect a person. I’ve become a lot more irritable and when I do notice I’m not in the right headspace, I will walk out of the situation and let them know I need to calm down. That’s what Alex should’ve done. Not continued to physically and verbally hurt someone he supposedly loved. It’s definitely not an excuse
Exactly. You can support someone’s mental health journey without being subjected to their behavior. No one is entitled to berate others or abuse others. Boundaries are huge and sometimes people can’t comprehend that difference and you need to cut ties. Don’t feel bad for protecting your own mental health.
Thissss, if you're not actively working on yourself knowing the problems you have there's no excuse other than not caring. Which I was like that for quite some time, thought I'd never change but over the past year or 2 I've been putting in a lot of work to deal with my outbursts. Regardless, I have never and will never speak to my fiance that way, it simply comes down to respect and when things calm down and you realize what you said or did, to take that almost as a lesson and continously work at it to be better for yourself and significant other.
THANK YOU. The most important lesson I had to learn as a bipolar person. If you hurt people, you hurt people and their emotions are valid. Edited to add: just wanna say I was never abusive, just a shitty friend with a substance abuse issue.
I agree. I don't mind listening to all that stuff because when someone makes me that freaking angry or treats me that shity I'm all for listening to them suffer without me being there. It gives me a type of mean satisfaction. What gets me is why do guys always wait until you are beyond fed up, f****** furious and never turning back, and emotionally and mentally damaged possibly beyond repair before they decide to realize what they've done and what they had been doing? Why does it always take for you to be completely broken inside and never returning?
@@user-po8if2bs4c I mean yeah but hun can seem very...shady like backhanded and men are majority of perpetrators when it comes to domestic abuse right?
I BEGGED my ex to get a therapist, especially after he’d expressed multiple times that he wanted to die and that I was the only thing keeping him here. He had the money to go but he put it towards coke and alcohol instead. He didn’t actually want to kill himself he just didn’t want me to leave, two years on from breaking up and he’s still here so🤷🏼♀️
@@user-po8if2bs4c my comment is directed at men❤️ women more often have emotionally intimate friendships with eachother where they can be vounerable! unfortunately not everything that applies to women equally applies to men! And vice versa. hope you’re able to cope with that❣️
Yeah! I saw a video earlier where the narrator was reading out the horrific text messages with an almost gleeful flippancy just because he didn't like Imalexx. No consideration for Alice or any one else disturbed by the content in those texts. Even laughing at N word and C word name calling. Turned it off.
@@xlittle_litax. A lot of people that are right wing are using this as a talking point. Because he was pretending to be a safe space for queer people and not racist. They really make it all about themselves and not about the victims.
I feel like hes gonna do the 'I'm not an abuser, I'm just a loser' shtick tbh. He'll blame his mental health and say it was a toxic relationship and say he will take 'accountability ' by doing nothing to take accountability imo 🙄
I know right, I only watched his vids sometimes as background noise but it really shocked me, i really hope his channel gets taken down along with that fragile ego of his.
Well, to be fair, I feel like they really *do* feel this way, and that's simultaneously sad but of course it does not mean anybody should "endure" (yuck) the abuse or anything like that - nobody should, ever, and let that be clear.
Because I feel like they have really fight to NOT behave this way - eh. and this is the real cause of all of it, unfortunately... Please don't take it in the wrong way as an excuse for abuse - in no way.
@@liesbeneathoureyes because while he’s ‘trying’ to say ‘i allowed you to be the one to always fix things in the relationship’, he says something completely different that’s more accurate to how he treated alice. he didn’t expect her to try and fix him; she tried and he refused to change. he doubled down on his own shitty behavior towards her bc of it, just to spite her. and ADMITS that. he called *her* a fixer-upper. which makes the message seem more like ‘you weren’t right, and i tried to fix you to my liking.’ which is way more accurate considering how he treated her. constantly berating her bc of her depression, demanding that she do career-related things *his* way, blowing up on her for bringing up her SA (when it contextually made sense to do so) and calling her ‘a freak’ for ‘bringing up weird shit’ on their vacation. alex is a grade-A narcissist and genuinely thought he was doing alice a favor by dating her. he wanted her to be eternally grateful to him for dating her, all whilst being a horrible partner.
@@gemmam3441 I was just trying to sympathize with Alice. I hope she doesn't go through the same thing. It's still painful almost 10 years later. Especially the not knowing.
As someone who didn’t get justice when I had a bad experience, I’m glad that this isn’t getting buried. Alex shouldn’t get his platform back and Alice shouldn’t have to live as a victim, but for what was done to her she deserves for it not be forgotten but in a productive manner of that makes sense.
Same. Alice’s experience was so close to mine it’s scary and seeing people support her actually makes me feel validating in my experience. I wish her all the best.
This voice memo could be a case study on abusive behavior... The pity me speech...yet getting a dig in here and there... "Its my fault, but YOU made me sleep on the couch" for example And...its extremely telling when he said "I wanted to keep you for my own" Control is step 1 I showered you with gifts (financial control/love bombing) It goes on and on.... This is actually quite scary If anyone reading this is in a d.v situation.... please know you are not to blame....its not you...its them.. please seek help Sending love and light to you all❤
I would like to point out some of his wording toward the beginning of the message, "I stopped putting effort in because I had you." This really points toward him seeing her as a possession and not a partner
i actually didn’t take that from his statement. in my opinion, he completely overlooks the problem. from what we saw of his messages with alice, this wasn’t about a lack of effort on his part. (apart from the messages where he forgot/made other plans for her birthday and tried to messily shoehorn plans for that the day before. but even then, his response wasn’t flippant; not like ‘oh, i forgot. you’ll be fine.’ it was more angry about the fact that she didn’t wanna go along with him shoehorning plans for her birthday; almost as if to say, ‘how dare you be upset about this? i’m trying to spend time with you to celebrate you, and it’s not good enough for you?’) it was about just how awful he was as a partner; how he degraded her, threatened her, and abused her. that’s not ‘oh, i didn’t put in effort to keep you!’ that’s ’oh, i could have ANYONE, but i chose you and you’re so ungrateful. and if you’re gonna be ungrateful, i don’t have to be a good partner to you; so really? all of this is your fault!’ which is a sentiment he brings up a lot in their messages. but i also do agree that he stopped seeing her as a partner. as far as he was concerned, alice was nothing more than a punching bag, both emotionally and physically; he needed her to stroke his fragile ass ego, and would punish her if she didn’t. it’s disgusting, on his part.
@@jasmyneeee I do feel like it was genuine on his side, you know? In a way like... I feel like they have really fight to NOT behave this way - eh. and this is might be the real cause of all of it, unfortunately... Don't take it guys in the wrong way as an excuse for abuse - in no way. Please.
@@olexvndrv i could see that. that being said, it really sucks that alice had to put up with that. alex is a full-grown adult; the second he realized that his way of thinking/behaving was harming his partner, he should’ve sought out help. instead, he doubled down whenever she spoke up about how it hurt her; purposefully choosing to be spiteful, just to have it bite him in the ass when she left him. and for him to admit that he wanted/expected her to come running back? and saying that he was frustrated because of it? that said a LOT to me about his ego. because, unfortunately for him, mental health is not an excuse to be an abusive partner. if he wasn’t ‘willing’ to allow alice’s depression to make her a ‘shitty gf’ (loosely paraphrasing his words/sentiments towards her in the texts), then she had every right to leave when he showed absolutely 0 signs of improving his behavior towards her.
@@jasmyneeee I agree that this wasn't about a lack of effort, I was just putting his whole sentence there. I do believe he felt like she owed him something and that she was being "ungrateful", I also believe that he at some point he saw her as something he owned
This voice message was in no way for Alice, he sent it entirely for himself so he can tell himself that he took “accountability” and that he’d said everything he needed to say so he could move on and then if anything came out he could say “well I said sorry, I admitted it was me” but never once does he actually call himself what he is, which is an abuser through and through. He’s very careful with not using certain words to describe what he did cause then he cant go back on them if he does make a statement
thank you for listening to this , but i also think its fair for you to know your triggers. if you cant listen to something, dont. but i appreciated your input here , adam!
Yeah I was just going to comment something similar; if Adam didn’t want to listen to the audio he didn’t have to do it , it’s very triggering to hear people speak like this. But I agree with your end point as well, I think we all do, we love and appreciate Adam for doing something that makes him uncomfortable for his audience; we truly do appreciate Adam’s take
Exactly, I didn't appreciate Adam trying to guilt trip us with "it's easy for us to choose not to listen when someone else had to live through this" yeah Adam some of us also had to live through this when we ourselves were abused, so it's totally OK if people don't want to listen to this and don't want to engage in this entire story ❤
It’s the reason why you find abusive relationships are often “off-and-on” type relationships. They leave and then are manipulated right back in. Kudos to anyone with the strength to not give into these tactics anymore and may anyone dealing with this currently gain that strength.
I feel like abusers often use blocking/stonewalling as a manipulation tactic too. Mine used to do this to me making me think he was ending the relationship because I'd "pushed him too far" but then he'd always come crawling back and lovebombing afterwards
@@jadesx96that is also true. The “emotional distancing” on purpose, the stonewalling, then the love bombing…those types of people have a near endless supply of tools they cycle through to keep you under their control. And they panic when they think they’re losing that control, so they try even harder to get it back. I’ve never had a partner like that, but I have extended family like that.
With no intention to take ANY attention away from Alice… you alluded to this being a difficult topic for you to cover, Adam, and I hope you know we love and support you (im assuming there is some relatability for you here). No answers are necessary-we just thank you for doing what you feel is the right thing despite whatever reasons you had to not cover this. We love u!
Adam I agree it’s important but please remember that if anything is triggering or not good for you to cover for your own being you do not have to. You don’t owe us anything but I appreciate you covering this and bringing awareness. I have been through this and so many people I know have been too and it’s hard but please take care of yourself too 💗💗💗💗
As someone who’s dealt/deals with someone similar sounding and behavioral wise to Alex - thank you for covering this. It is such a scary and polarizing situation and victims of this kind of thing deserve nothing but love and support.
I had my ex months and months after I went pubic to our social group about dv. He then months later apologized. It was manipulative but I think some of it has some truth to it. Like Alex i think they , want to give some truth to spark sympathy. Because obviously they did it at a smaller scale but subtly growing during the relationship. It’s a manipulative tactic. At this point they are well aware the other person doesn’t need an explanation.
I hope you have the utmost respect for your strength for having gotten through this! I'm so sorry you went through this! I know exactly how you feel! My late husband and pretty much every relationship I've ever been in has been with someone like this or very similar to this. My husband was almost exactly like alex. I understand! I wish you all the best and always remember to put yourself first! It took me more than 30 years to learn that and you seem young, so I hope you have learned that lesson and if not, I hope you do soon! Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself! Never never feel guilty for cutting out toxic people and always remember to listen to your gut! Follow your instincts! If you feel that there's an alarm Bell going off, you listen to it and you regret nothing!
I’m so glad you’re posting this Adam, before anyone ever blames a women for staying in an abusive relationship, this is the type of manipulation that happens all the time in those types of relationships
Thankyou! Even listening to this I found myself feeling misplaced sympathy for Alex the same way I would feel the sympathy for my ex when he did the same after I couldn’t take the abuse anymore. I kept thinking about the awful childhood he had and how I could help him get better if I just stuck by him. It took three years of physical and emotional abuse before I realised nothing was ever going to change and that he wouldn’t get help himself then there was no way I could help him. I feel so sorry for Alice but glad she’s away from him. Also I’m so proud of her for bringing this to the public because it’s actually helping me heal (my ex got away with everything he did to me and everyone who knows him still thinks he’s an amazing guy). She’s been so brave and she’s helping so many people. I wish her nothing but happiness.
As someone who was in an abusive relationship like this, I also got audios. It was her crying while saying she has changed and would apologize. And then next she would be angry at me for “not caring” after the break up when I asked for space. She made me feel like shit for breaking it off and then gave me hell for months after that.
I used to do the same thing, secretly video/audio record EVERYTIME I felt like the person I was w/was behaving in some nonsensical fashion. I didn't watch any of the previous vids of what this dude did, Idk if it's as extreme as turning violent or some consistent psychological/emotional torture, but she should've left his butt the moment she saw a red flag. I've been w/a dude now for 7yr w/whom I've literally never had a serious fight or disagreement, just the occasional attitude towards 1 another that we walk away from & return to when we are more clear-minded or have totally forgotten why we were annoyed w/each other to begin w/& it's so refreshing. It's ridiculous that adults behave in such a childish, possessive fashion, like this Alex dude.
I’ve been in a relationship eerily similar to this and seeing the public’s reactions to this situation is like a breath of fresh air and validation. My heart goes out to Alice and any other survivors of narcissistic abuse.
this is exactly how I feel too, I had a past experience very very similar to this too, from the messages, to the apologising routine, even the sending letters and begging to win me back. The world needs to recognise the tactics, and thanks to Alice maybe everyone will become more educated.
I was with an abusive man for 8 years before I got the courage to leave. He would get physical with me in public. And noone would ever help me. Seeing everyone stand behind her is cathartic for me. I'm so glad that things are like this now and more and more people are holding abusers accountable.
@@threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat8863 thats why i hate the 'if you're in an abusive relationship: get help.' "advice" - like anyone helped??? My situation wasn't as terrible as yours and I was actively trying to leave for 2 years.
My ex (also Alex, ironically enough) used to leave me voicemails after I left him JUST like this. Funnily enough, once he found out I started dating someone, they went from crying and begging to screaming and furious. He told me, and I quote, "I hope you're pregnant, that way you have to come back to me". Alice honey, you made the right choice. I'm sorry I ever watched any of Alex's videos, I'm so sorry more than anything that you were treated like this. Nobody deserves this. I'm so glad she was brave enough to leave. Too many people don't get to or can't before the threats come to fruition. Edit: changed "women" to "people". Abuse doesn't hold to one gender.
I've been a victim of this type of manipulation. It's so scary that, clearly, these abusers CAN see what they do is wrong and reflect on it and then choose to do the same thing over and over. I hope Alice never looks back
The whole "I had to lose you to realize I didn't want to lose you" is so gross. I feel so so bad for these girls that their self worth was so low this mf was able to talk to them that way for so long. Like god all of us please wake up and realize we deserve better. My sons bio dad is a narcissist and when i was 20 I just had noooo idea how to deal with him
I would too and I don't know what that makes me. I don't think it makes me weak or anything . I'm just a sensitive and empathetic person. Alice is one badass person to mic drop and walk away.
I was thinking the same thing. If my abusive ex sent this I was actually thinking wow that would be healing to hear them tell me it's not my fault and maybe fall for it thinking they changed
Just always remember someone who loves you would NEVER do any of those things. Don’t ever try and fix people, just leave. And please never ignore red flags
how much do u wanna bet he sent her that audio clip once he realized in how much deep shit he would be if all the texts/videos got leaked, this was not a genuine apology (if an apology could even make everything ok) but something he can bank on to get him pity if he got exposed
Honestly I think it's more likely that he wanted her to come back so that he could gain control over her again. Because at the end of the day getting her back and gaining control of her is the best way to make sure that none of this ever comes out. I don't think he was even thinking about how this apology would help his pubic image if the rest came out because what with the type of videos he puts out he would know that an apology like this won't work on the internet. he's been on here WAYYYYY too long to think that would work. I think it's far more likely that he just wanted her back so it never came out, not that he wanted some sort of cushion if it did come out
@@Lina_unchained yeah i can see that, but since he mentioned many times how much of a celebrity he is and famous, i think that when he said he "reflected" he probably reflected more on how this could hurt his reputation rather than how much he actually hurt her, but i do agree he must have had ulterior motives
this audio is really important for recognizing patterns and behaviors in narcissistic abusers. thank you for sharing and talking about this story even when it’s hard. everyone needs to take a note on how you use your platform to uplift voices of others ❤️
Not us giggling at the same time about the toe thing lol. My ex always made sob stories like this, you can hear the tone shift once he stops 'crying'. So manipulative. Appreciate your coverage Adam, but please remember to listen to your heart if this stuff is too much or too triggering. x
In my opinion the crying feels very devoid of emotion, like to me it comes across like an act or crocodile tears, but no genuine sadness or regret in terms of his behavior towards her. Really the whole message comes across as saying what he thinks she’d want to hear in hopes she’d come back to/forgive him.
I broke up with my narcissistic boyfriend of 4 years and it has taken me months to process and realize I made the right decision. Watching this video has helped because no it’s not normal to act that way and everything you said hit to a tea.
Yep exactly and it reminds me of my ex I just recently broke up with so much. Treated me horribly the entire time and then would backhand me with things like “I’m so sorry” but then follow it up with “are you really going to throw away an entire lifetime together over a few bad months”. He had put me through “tests” since the beginning of the relationship. I’m glad to be out and away. I feel horrible for anyone who’s been through this
@@Maddie-yu4uhnever take that tactic. I hate that “we’ve been together so long why throw it away?” Why would I waste more time being miserable? We don’t know how long we have to live, you could find a new relationship and those years will mean nothing, if you live for a very long time. Wishing the best for both of you 💕
@@mono_tone6511 exactly!! Thanks so much. I have no clue why they think saying that will work on anyone. It’s worse when they act remorseful for how they treated you and then go and say that. It just sounds so contradicting.
If you can never realize how much you "need" or appreciate someone until they are gone, how will they ever feel loved or appreciated when you are together? It amazes me how these types of people think that appreciating someone in hindsight is more than the bare minimum.
This whole situation has triggered me SO MUCH! I have had an ex with BPD that caused me the worst mental health ever. Alex sounds EXACTLY LIKE HIM. The crying and yelling, apologising and then saying that I was the love of his life after he called me all the names you can think of under the sun and SA me
It’s also so obvious when he stops to say something more logical, like “I have to take a break now” where the crocodile tears completely disappear and he doesn’t sound even remotely remorseful. What a narcissistic “apology.” I still have unopened letters from my abusive ex that he hand wrote me, after I finally left. I know that game waaaay too well.
Really appreciate and respect the way you've been covering this whole situation. Its truly fucking heartbreaking and you seem to be one of the only voices that isn't just treating this like TH-cam drama
Yeah the other videos I’ve seen don’t seem to have much care about anything to do with Alice and just hating on Alex because they never liked him anyways. Like yes he’s a terrible person but don’t forget about the victim who went through this.
I learned the hard way. Abuse was so normalized growing up that I didn’t recognize it in other relationships. So many people learn the hard way, and it’s bc they don’t know what behaviors are unacceptable/what abuse looks like. I’m so glad for Alice keeping record and being brave in coming forward. I think this sort of thing should be taught in schools in health classes along with sex ed
@@alexisfreezeidk where you went to school but there was never coverage about how to spot signs of domestic abuse/how to spot signs of someone who may escalate into being abusive and what kinds of red flags really matter in a realistic situation. nobody I have ever known has ever had any education on that.
As I’m watching this my ex is sending me so many love bomb messages and honestly I would have caved if I hadn’t watched this like I really do appreciate you covering this I don’t know why or how but it helped like a lot.
this behavior isn't normal and you do deserve better! It's going to suck and hurt for a bit but there are such great people out there in the world. Stay strong, do the things that give you energy and make you happy, try to hang with friends... You got this.
PLEASE never ever go back! Ice him out as they say, block every account and new number. I have been there more than a year ago and it was absolute hell to go through! After all this abuse you're in a state of Stockholm syndrome, give yourself time to recover
@@zombiedoll986 absolutely. Thankfully it’s not nearly as bad as what some people go through but he did get me pregnant which adds another layer to things but I feel safe and I feel a new start 💗
You deserve better and you WILL get better. You have so much life left to live, and you will find true happiness and joy no matter who or what it may come from. Wishing you the absolute best 💕
ill say right now what i should have known from the beginning of my relationship that ended with a restraining order. 1. If he wanted too he would. 2. if he tells you who he is in the beginning, believe him.
That comment asking if she was cheating got me so mad. She's got large amounts of proof that this guy is abusive and they still look for an excuse to try to blame the victim.
People like that infuriate me, like even if she did that would not excuse or warrant that kind of behavior. It’s so funny how they only understand how actions could cause someone to respond and feel, but only in defense of the abuser.
Thank you so much for pointing out when you pick up on the manipulation. Years and years ago I was in a relationship that used so much of that.. I even catch myself believing in what alex is saying at times, then you point out how this is manipulative, and *then* I see just how clearly it mirrors the type of things I dealt with. It can be so hard to shut off empathy towards those people, because on the one hand you want to believe that people change and learn, but when looking at it pragmatically their words are almost always just a means to an end. I really needed that reminder, so thank you again. I appreciate you covering all of this.
Kavos never liked him. Which is fair. But unfortunately I don’t reckon he really cares about the victims of this stuff either. Idk I just get the impression he doesn’t do the videos he does because he wants justice for victims That’s why I love this channel. It’s so respectful towards the victims
@@janie7195 I agree and feel safe being able to get this off of my chest here and relieved for another Mucker's spidey senses to go off too. Although what he did and what she has been going through doesn't need to be shoved under a rug and deserves visibility, there was something disconnected and off about his delivery that gave me such a slow burning ick that I couldn't finish the video. Also clicked for YT to not recommend his vids bc that was the first time he's ever come up on my feed...and for good reason apparently. It was HOW he spoke with his word choice and what he didn't respectfully not say that should have been common sense about it along with some other things. I can tell he wasn't doing it for what the real reasons should be and also just wanted to sound his loudest trumpet of virtue signaling.which is never a good look...quite like Alex does, or did. I did check out his comment section and ngl, a significant portion seemed a bit unhinged.
@@janie7195yeah all of those dude bros are just covering for the clicks sadly (imo) I even watched one video where someone was making jokes about the victim , really gross stuff.
@@janie7195You could very well be right, but when I watched, to me, Kavos seemed like he was genuinely disgusted for Alice and hoped she gets the justice she deserves. 🤷🏻♀️
The ptsd this is flaring up inside of me, is kind of wild rn. Holy jeeze... I hope Alice, myself, anyone that got wrapped in this kind of life. Can accept that this guilt isn't ours to keep. Maybe we can heal one day.
so glad adam is covering this. also it's really meaningful to me as someone who has had similar experiences as Alice that adam is visibly impacted by her experiences (though I am sorry if/that it hits home for him, i know how painful it is). i dunno i just think he is approaching this is a respectful and compassionate way and i am grateful that he is talking about it.
I've been watching him since about 2017/2018. This is terrible, and I was shocked. Alice is so strong for coming out about this ❤ And Alex is truly awful :(
As a bipolar bpd aspergers survivor from two abusive relationships - one with narcissist - i feel bad for Alice and send her lots of love and i'm not giving excuses for Alex, BUT. BPD with NPD is a common combination and he does look like he really needs professional help, for his and others sake. I hope he does get help because i remember my dark dark times drowning into bpd without therapy and i really hope he won't end up hurting anyone else, especially himself, taking the way the internet launched at him (not without the reason tho, but still).
To further explain - i Can't Imagine for example how Alice would feel if he'd just succumb to the self loathing and stuff. He genuinely needs help. And some time alone. And maybe some supervision. It helped with my borderline (i'm nowhere near to being narcissistic tho), so dunno, just sharing my thoughts.
she ended up outing herself for coercing him into having sex too like it’s absolutely crazy how some people act just to get in the spotlight it’s so vile
This situation is genuinely so vile and unbelievable. I can’t believe someone who’s been on the platform for so long, acting like this without the public knowing. (Read my replies to the comments)
It’s vile but definitely not unbelievable. This shit happens ALL the time. The only thing that’s unusual here is that Alice actually recorded these incidents of abuse and released so much evidence to the public. Usually victims live in fear and are discredited and not believed when they come out with their story. She’s smart and really brave for putting so much personal stuff out there so people truly understand what she went through
@@liesbeneathoureyes Yeah, I’m happy that she has evidence, but I definitely wouldn’t have thought to record it. Who knows what would’ve happened if she tried to leave him and didn’t have evidence? I’m aware that it’s realistic for someone to actually do stuff without public knowledge, but it’s crazy how none of his friends, one of whom even lived with him, claim they don’t know anything about this behavior. I definitely think his personality would’ve slipped out had his friends not had a pretty big platform-if what they’re saying is true.
i’m so glad she left and didn’t hear this and go back. i had a relationship super similar with the almost same emotional abuse being yelled at and degraded and also physically abused and we were young. it was very hard to leave especially when it seems like “oh they realize what they did was wrong finally! they can change!” if she went back the same old stuff would happen he would use his apology and say i didn’t mean any of that and it would be even worse
In Narcissistic Abuse terms, ImAllexx's recording is called "Hoovering." It's an attempt to draw the ego supply target back in with false declarations of change, self-awareness, and future promises. The bid for pity is an attempt to manipulate the ego supply target to feel sorry for the narcissist. This is the equivalent of the "Bargaining" stage in the 5 Stages of Grief (aka 5 Stages of Emotional Processing). He does sound legit upset and crying at points. However, it sounds like he's more upset about his loss and pain than hers. He does discuss his own mistakes, but it sounds to me like he's more worried about how his mistakes made him look than how they made her feel. Hoping he can learn from this. He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.
36:35 😢😭 ADAMMM. I needed that. And I'm sat here just SOBBING. I'm 3 months pregnant, and already have a special needs toddler with a man worse than this one. And when I tried to leave, the system wanted me to hand my child over to him unsupervised while on sedating medications (falls asleep driving) and my child can't talk to tell me he's not okay, he can't use a phone 😭😭 so I came back and stayed with him...for my baby. 😢 And I wish so badly I could have changed everything....I blame myself every minute of the day....so thank you. For being kind enough to say that. It means more than you'll ever realize.
My ex would pull the same bs Alex is doing in this audio message. The self pitty and gaslighting/manipulation, everytime i’d try to leave. This pmo so bad, i truly hope nothing but the best for Alice. 💞 Alex can continue to wallow in his self pitty🤷🏻♀️
He will never change. This is just him trying to get her back. She goes back and he just reverts back to the same behaviour. Controlling narcissistic behaviour. He needs to stop those crocodile tears too. Me me me me me is his MO.
I really appreciate you covering this situation. As a victim of verbal manipulation and abuse, if I had had more resources of awareness, I would have gotten out so much sooner than I did. But sadly that was 12+ years ago when people did not/could not speak up for whatever reason. I’m sending so much love to Alice and any other victims of his that are out there. Alex will not get away with this.
I’ve had a crazy ass ex say all these things after i LOCKED HIM OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! That I held the door closed on!!! Just as I said on your last video there is nothing different about any abuser in their CORE. At the end of the day they will always say the same thing when they are punished. She deserves the entire world’s support when he can say he’s wrong. I cannot even imagine how horrifying that this is for her knowing some people will still say it’s not true. Insane.
hi Adam, I'm currently leaving a long term relationship with an abusive narcissist, and it's been so hard to slowly realize that none of that day-to-day behavior was normal. You covering this is really helping me stay strong with my decision to leave, so thank you so much for that. sending love
![บุษบา - เมนทอล [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IGnWPokSEis/mqdefault.jpg)
Him stubbing his toe mid self loathing voice note was a gorgeous mini piece of karma, even his table was telling him to stfu
I almost died laughing, when that happened
It was almost like a nice little palette cleanser
@@ladyj.9350 lmaooooo
I literally threw my arms up in joy with a huge grin on my face. Then, I went back and listened to it again. That was the very start of his karma.
time?
I lost at it the "I had to make my own doctors appointment 🥺😭" like he wants a mom.
lmao what a whiny lil bitch, right? like yeah, adults make their own phone calls bro
He’s trying to make it seem like he’s working on the little things. My ex did the same thing, it just always comes off as if they’re a child🤣🤣
“Fed the cats” like boy pleaseeeee. I didn’t know we were congratulating men doing the bare minimum in their own lives????
@@hazeyhaleighxo0428I think he’s playing on the depression/mental health card, because when depression for example gets really bad, every day tasks feel impossible to do, so I think he’s trying to manipulate her into thinking he’s now fixing his mental health and he’ll no longer be taking his issues out on her
@@youtubeuser3635 I understand where you are coming from. However, speaking from experience, depression has never caused me to be manipulative to the point of abusive, violent behavior. All of what he said is textbook abuser language. He is definitely trying to manipulate her. I’m glad she saw for what it truly was and got out as soon as possible.
The camera shifting is a new Adam lore arc
Camera sass
The camera is trying to escape. That's how bad Alex is
"Actually, we're filming over here" 📷💅
Touch grass kid
@@xxxxOSI know you’re not commenting that on a niche internet-drama commentator’s channel 😂
i HATE the part where his voice goes normal after "crying" to explain himself
That’s exactly what I’m thinking, he switched to “regular” talking way too quickly
It’s very bizarre to me how his video voice and conversing/yelling at his girlfriend is the same voice. That’s just weird to me. In his video he talks AT his audience so when you’re talking to a friend or loved one you talk WITH them. None of his conversations feel like that to me if that makes sense
I caught that too
It really does feel like going from rehearsed script to alternative rehearsed script.
Okay like I get that but quick intense mood switches are a symptom of BPD and he does have it !
when he stubbed his toe LMAOOOOO
i felt so bad for laughing but its alex so its deserved lmaoo
wait when did he do that
@@obinnamommoh185early-mid-way through when he goes like “OW MY TOE”
@@lexxist wait at what timestamp i mean sry
@@lexxist ok nevermind i found it at 19:34 ish LOL
What adam said about abusers using the "you leaving changed me" tactic is so real
It’s funny… They don’t listen or change until they have no choice just to reel you back in. It’s a manipulative last resort for them. One of the last things my ex said to me after I was done with him was, “I’m seeing a therapist about my anger issues.” This was after he sent text after text of cussing me out and calling me a pos and all sorts of names.
Yep it's their desperate attempt to get control back. Some of them are really good at playing remorseful and pathetic, to make you feel for them, reinforcing the trauma bond they have with you. It makes it very hard to leave
Yes, the trauma bond is real, people like this are so so good at apologizing.
@@slakraze6288finally ppl who know the accurate usage of the term trauma bond lol.
Emotional manipulation at its best
Mental health can explain behavior. But it does NOT excuse it. Especially if you’re AWARE of mental health issues you have/ have been diagnosed with.
10000% this was such a big moment in therapy for me. When i went from still enabling behavior in my life from my family. Excusing their behavior with mental health for them. Until i realized i have the same issues and sought out help. It wasn't impossible, and would be easier when i supported them seeking help.
Completely agree. As someone who has dealt with emotional and physical abuse, it can really affect a person. I’ve become a lot more irritable and when I do notice I’m not in the right headspace, I will walk out of the situation and let them know I need to calm down. That’s what Alex should’ve done. Not continued to physically and verbally hurt someone he supposedly loved. It’s definitely not an excuse
Exactly. You can support someone’s mental health journey without being subjected to their behavior. No one is entitled to berate others or abuse others. Boundaries are huge and sometimes people can’t comprehend that difference and you need to cut ties. Don’t feel bad for protecting your own mental health.
Thissss, if you're not actively working on yourself knowing the problems you have there's no excuse other than not caring. Which I was like that for quite some time, thought I'd never change but over the past year or 2 I've been putting in a lot of work to deal with my outbursts. Regardless, I have never and will never speak to my fiance that way, it simply comes down to respect and when things calm down and you realize what you said or did, to take that almost as a lesson and continously work at it to be better for yourself and significant other.
THANK YOU. The most important lesson I had to learn as a bipolar person. If you hurt people, you hurt people and their emotions are valid.
Edited to add: just wanna say I was never abusive, just a shitty friend with a substance abuse issue.
Why do men do this instead of getting therapists??? I ain’t listening to all that if I’m her
@@user-po8if2bs4cyeah people of all genders can be abusive but it’s usually men, be real.
I agree. I don't mind listening to all that stuff because when someone makes me that freaking angry or treats me that shity I'm all for listening to them suffer without me being there. It gives me a type of mean satisfaction. What gets me is why do guys always wait until you are beyond fed up, f****** furious and never turning back, and emotionally and mentally damaged possibly beyond repair before they decide to realize what they've done and what they had been doing? Why does it always take for you to be completely broken inside and never returning?
@@user-po8if2bs4c I mean yeah but hun can seem very...shady like backhanded and men are majority of perpetrators when it comes to domestic abuse right?
I BEGGED my ex to get a therapist, especially after he’d expressed multiple times that he wanted to die and that I was the only thing keeping him here. He had the money to go but he put it towards coke and alcohol instead. He didn’t actually want to kill himself he just didn’t want me to leave, two years on from breaking up and he’s still here so🤷🏼♀️
@@user-po8if2bs4c my comment is directed at men❤️ women more often have emotionally intimate friendships with eachother where they can be vounerable! unfortunately not everything that applies to women equally applies to men! And vice versa. hope you’re able to cope with that❣️
Adam is the ONLY creator who is covering this fully respectfully imo.
I’ve seen a lot of other questionable videos on this topic and I had to leave shortly into them
What are the opposing views ? If you don’t mind me asking
Yeah! I saw a video earlier where the narrator was reading out the horrific text messages with an almost gleeful flippancy just because he didn't like Imalexx. No consideration for Alice or any one else disturbed by the content in those texts. Even laughing at N word and C word name calling. Turned it off.
Jake do little did cover it. And some other even philp defranco
@@xlittle_litax. A lot of people that are right wing are using this as a talking point. Because he was pretending to be a safe space for queer people and not racist. They really make it all about themselves and not about the victims.
I feel like hes gonna do the 'I'm not an abuser, I'm just a loser' shtick tbh. He'll blame his mental health and say it was a toxic relationship and say he will take 'accountability ' by doing nothing to take accountability imo 🙄
🎶🎸“I’m not a groomer, just a loser.” 🎸🎶
@@SevenReads007oh noooo! I really hope he doesn't pull out the ukulele!
both are often true, he'll probably never take true accountablity for being an abusive cunt
I feel like you’re right but then he has to explain the death threat video.
I really think you called it 💀
As someone who used to watch Alex, when I found out about this I was shocked. This is disgraceful and disgusting.
Same here
I can't believe, listening to this stuff, that I was just watching him tear apart Elphaba last week. 😮
After all the commentary of the degenerates that roam tiktok, turns out he was one himself
@@krisdiane me too! completely different character...
I know right, I only watched his vids sometimes as background noise but it really shocked me, i really hope his channel gets taken down along with that fragile ego of his.
Narcissists love blaming all of their behaviour on “losing focus” or “not putting in effort” like no sir you abused me bye
Exactly.
Well, to be fair, I feel like they really *do* feel this way, and that's simultaneously sad but of course it does not mean anybody should "endure" (yuck) the abuse or anything like that - nobody should, ever, and let that be clear.
Because I feel like they have really fight to NOT behave this way - eh. and this is the real cause of all of it, unfortunately...
Please don't take it in the wrong way as an excuse for abuse - in no way.
yea, you DID put hella EFFORT in abusing me sir
@@kazakukog Some "professional".
"I wanted you to dedicate your life to me....not in a weird way" WHAT 😮
all he wanted was a ritualistic blood sacrifice, nbd!
Textbook narcisism. If she hadn't left, I fully believe he would've made the news.
Just wanted to own her or something
@@MariaDobrinescu13 I'm concerned he's gonna make the news now this has all blown up, If he lands on "nothing left to lose"
“I just moped and sulked like a child” Adam: “What are you doing now? Quick.” ICONIC.
I am LIVING for your side eyes at the camera every time he says something stupid 😂
This 🤣
So you mean the whole video then? Because alex was saying dum shut the ENTIRE video😂
Ikrr
Adam is better than me because I'd be rolling my eyes the whole time
i live for adam telling off his camera every video
Me too.
It's so creepy how fast he switched from crying to clear speech,manipulation at its finest.
Literally this
No because that switch was scary
"i allowed you to be the fixer-upper in our relationship" IM SORRY... WHAT
literally such an insane freudian slip 😵💫
@@jasmyneeeehow is that a Freudian slip…
@@liesbeneathoureyes because while he’s ‘trying’ to say ‘i allowed you to be the one to always fix things in the relationship’, he says something completely different that’s more accurate to how he treated alice. he didn’t expect her to try and fix him; she tried and he refused to change. he doubled down on his own shitty behavior towards her bc of it, just to spite her. and ADMITS that.
he called *her* a fixer-upper. which makes the message seem more like ‘you weren’t right, and i tried to fix you to my liking.’ which is way more accurate considering how he treated her. constantly berating her bc of her depression, demanding that she do career-related things *his* way, blowing up on her for bringing up her SA (when it contextually made sense to do so) and calling her ‘a freak’ for ‘bringing up weird shit’ on their vacation.
alex is a grade-A narcissist and genuinely thought he was doing alice a favor by dating her. he wanted her to be eternally grateful to him for dating her, all whilst being a horrible partner.
I was so happy when he stubbed his toe. Lol
A L L O W E D
I wish Alice could safely get custody of the cats.
I feel this so hard. I lost my cat in an abusive relationship... 😭
@@waterlemon3885im so sorry 🥺
@@knitwitchpgh ty for your sympathy. 🖤
@@waterlemon3885how awful, I hope you’re doing okay now 😢
@@gemmam3441 I was just trying to sympathize with Alice. I hope she doesn't go through the same thing. It's still painful almost 10 years later. Especially the not knowing.
the google drive was heartbreaking. that girl dealt with so much:( the way he escalates is astonishing
As someone who didn’t get justice when I had a bad experience, I’m glad that this isn’t getting buried. Alex shouldn’t get his platform back and Alice shouldn’t have to live as a victim, but for what was done to her she deserves for it not be forgotten but in a productive manner of that makes sense.
i feel the same way
Same. Alice’s experience was so close to mine it’s scary and seeing people support her actually makes me feel validating in my experience. I wish her all the best.
This voice memo could be a case study on abusive behavior...
The pity me speech...yet getting a dig in here and there...
"Its my fault, but YOU made me sleep on the couch" for example
And...its extremely telling when he said
"I wanted to keep you for my own"
Control is step 1
I showered you with gifts (financial control/love bombing)
It goes on and on.... This is actually quite scary
If anyone reading this is in a d.v situation.... please know you are not to blame....its not you...its them.. please seek help
Sending love and light to you all❤
I would like to point out some of his wording toward the beginning of the message, "I stopped putting effort in because I had you." This really points toward him seeing her as a possession and not a partner
i actually didn’t take that from his statement. in my opinion, he completely overlooks the problem. from what we saw of his messages with alice, this wasn’t about a lack of effort on his part. (apart from the messages where he forgot/made other plans for her birthday and tried to messily shoehorn plans for that the day before. but even then, his response wasn’t flippant; not like ‘oh, i forgot. you’ll be fine.’ it was more angry about the fact that she didn’t wanna go along with him shoehorning plans for her birthday; almost as if to say, ‘how dare you be upset about this? i’m trying to spend time with you to celebrate you, and it’s not good enough for you?’)
it was about just how awful he was as a partner; how he degraded her, threatened her, and abused her. that’s not ‘oh, i didn’t put in effort to keep you!’ that’s ’oh, i could have ANYONE, but i chose you and you’re so ungrateful. and if you’re gonna be ungrateful, i don’t have to be a good partner to you; so really? all of this is your fault!’ which is a sentiment he brings up a lot in their messages.
but i also do agree that he stopped seeing her as a partner. as far as he was concerned, alice was nothing more than a punching bag, both emotionally and physically; he needed her to stroke his fragile ass ego, and would punish her if she didn’t.
it’s disgusting, on his part.
@@jasmyneeee I do feel like it was genuine on his side, you know? In a way like... I feel like they have really fight to NOT behave this way - eh. and this is might be the real cause of all of it, unfortunately...
Don't take it guys in the wrong way as an excuse for abuse - in no way. Please.
@@olexvndrv i could see that. that being said, it really sucks that alice had to put up with that. alex is a full-grown adult; the second he realized that his way of thinking/behaving was harming his partner, he should’ve sought out help. instead, he doubled down whenever she spoke up about how it hurt her; purposefully choosing to be spiteful, just to have it bite him in the ass when she left him. and for him to admit that he wanted/expected her to come running back? and saying that he was frustrated because of it? that said a LOT to me about his ego. because, unfortunately for him, mental health is not an excuse to be an abusive partner. if he wasn’t ‘willing’ to allow alice’s depression to make her a ‘shitty gf’ (loosely paraphrasing his words/sentiments towards her in the texts), then she had every right to leave when he showed absolutely 0 signs of improving his behavior towards her.
@@jasmyneeee I agree that this wasn't about a lack of effort, I was just putting his whole sentence there. I do believe he felt like she owed him something and that she was being "ungrateful", I also believe that he at some point he saw her as something he owned
Man doesn’t view women as objects challenge (EXTREME DIFFICULTY)
“I take out the bins. I take care of the cats.” You make TH-cam videos at home?!? You SHOULD be the one doing those chores??
This voice message was in no way for Alice, he sent it entirely for himself so he can tell himself that he took “accountability” and that he’d said everything he needed to say so he could move on and then if anything came out he could say “well I said sorry, I admitted it was me” but never once does he actually call himself what he is, which is an abuser through and through. He’s very careful with not using certain words to describe what he did cause then he cant go back on them if he does make a statement
💯
Camera is a cohost at this point. Its got a life of its own 😭
Bruh😂😂😂
thank you for listening to this , but i also think its fair for you to know your triggers. if you cant listen to something, dont. but i appreciated your input here , adam!
Yeah I was just going to comment something similar; if Adam didn’t want to listen to the audio he didn’t have to do it , it’s very triggering to hear people speak like this. But I agree with your end point as well, I think we all do, we love and appreciate Adam for doing something that makes him uncomfortable for his audience; we truly do appreciate Adam’s take
Exactly, I didn't appreciate Adam trying to guilt trip us with "it's easy for us to choose not to listen when someone else had to live through this" yeah Adam some of us also had to live through this when we ourselves were abused, so it's totally OK if people don't want to listen to this and don't want to engage in this entire story ❤
I literally just commented this!! Glad someone else also said it. You can know what’s going on but also take care of yourself
@@jangminoona He wasn't trying to guilt trip anyone, girl, chill out
That's not what guilt tripping even means 💀
It’s the reason why you find abusive relationships are often “off-and-on” type relationships. They leave and then are manipulated right back in. Kudos to anyone with the strength to not give into these tactics anymore and may anyone dealing with this currently gain that strength.
I feel like abusers often use blocking/stonewalling as a manipulation tactic too. Mine used to do this to me making me think he was ending the relationship because I'd "pushed him too far" but then he'd always come crawling back and lovebombing afterwards
@@jadesx96that is also true. The “emotional distancing” on purpose, the stonewalling, then the love bombing…those types of people have a near endless supply of tools they cycle through to keep you under their control. And they panic when they think they’re losing that control, so they try even harder to get it back. I’ve never had a partner like that, but I have extended family like that.
Yep it’s the love bombing
the way the tearfulness just switched off when he started defending himself. like NO tears when he starts saying ‘but i don’t mean it like…’
I know that this is bad timing but the camera constantly moving is a new part of mucker lore (I also appreciate that we are covering this)
With no intention to take ANY attention away from Alice… you alluded to this being a difficult topic for you to cover, Adam, and I hope you know we love and support you (im assuming there is some relatability for you here). No answers are necessary-we just thank you for doing what you feel is the right thing despite whatever reasons you had to not cover this. We love u!
Adam I agree it’s important but please remember that if anything is triggering or not good for you to cover for your own being you do not have to. You don’t owe us anything but I appreciate you covering this and bringing awareness. I have been through this and so many people I know have been too and it’s hard but please take care of yourself too 💗💗💗💗
As someone who’s dealt/deals with someone similar sounding and behavioral wise to Alex - thank you for covering this. It is such a scary and polarizing situation and victims of this kind of thing deserve nothing but love and support.
I am so sorry to hear that and I wish you a lot of healing and strength. People like him are so damaging to deal with.
I had my ex months and months after I went pubic to our social group about dv. He then months later apologized. It was manipulative but I think some of it has some truth to it. Like Alex i think they , want to give some truth to spark sympathy. Because obviously they did it at a smaller scale but subtly growing during the relationship. It’s a manipulative tactic. At this point they are well aware the other person doesn’t need an explanation.
@@awkwardangle97 I appreciate you 💗
@@Vampirfinch I am so sorry for anything you went through, but hope you've come out better and stronger. 🫂
I hope you have the utmost respect for your strength for having gotten through this! I'm so sorry you went through this! I know exactly how you feel! My late husband and pretty much every relationship I've ever been in has been with someone like this or very similar to this. My husband was almost exactly like alex. I understand! I wish you all the best and always remember to put yourself first! It took me more than 30 years to learn that and you seem young, so I hope you have learned that lesson and if not, I hope you do soon! Never feel guilty for taking care of yourself! Never never feel guilty for cutting out toxic people and always remember to listen to your gut! Follow your instincts! If you feel that there's an alarm Bell going off, you listen to it and you regret nothing!
I’m so glad you’re posting this Adam, before anyone ever blames a women for staying in an abusive relationship, this is the type of manipulation that happens all the time in those types of relationships
a person** not a woman hun!!
Sorry off topic but I love your pfp! I’m so glad to see another dgd fan here :)))
Thankyou! Even listening to this I found myself feeling misplaced sympathy for Alex the same way I would feel the sympathy for my ex when he did the same after I couldn’t take the abuse anymore. I kept thinking about the awful childhood he had and how I could help him get better if I just stuck by him. It took three years of physical and emotional abuse before I realised nothing was ever going to change and that he wouldn’t get help himself then there was no way I could help him.
I feel so sorry for Alice but glad she’s away from him. Also I’m so proud of her for bringing this to the public because it’s actually helping me heal (my ex got away with everything he did to me and everyone who knows him still thinks he’s an amazing guy). She’s been so brave and she’s helping so many people. I wish her nothing but happiness.
When he stubs his toe… ☠️ Why is this man such a mess omfg
the way it means he must’ve been pacing around the room recording this bullshit
@@yardofblondegirls Most likely
As someone who was in an abusive relationship like this, I also got audios. It was her crying while saying she has changed and would apologize. And then next she would be angry at me for “not caring” after the break up when I asked for space. She made me feel like shit for breaking it off and then gave me hell for months after that.
I’m sorry you went through that no one deserves that
I used to do the same thing, secretly video/audio record EVERYTIME I felt like the person I was w/was behaving in some nonsensical fashion. I didn't watch any of the previous vids of what this dude did, Idk if it's as extreme as turning violent or some consistent psychological/emotional torture, but she should've left his butt the moment she saw a red flag. I've been w/a dude now for 7yr w/whom I've literally never had a serious fight or disagreement, just the occasional attitude towards 1 another that we walk away from & return to when we are more clear-minded or have totally forgotten why we were annoyed w/each other to begin w/& it's so refreshing. It's ridiculous that adults behave in such a childish, possessive fashion, like this Alex dude.
I hoped you finally blocked her & moved on
Also pathetic how he cannot apologize without fake tears and a backhanded “it’s not because you have issues”
I’ve been in a relationship eerily similar to this and seeing the public’s reactions to this situation is like a breath of fresh air and validation. My heart goes out to Alice and any other survivors of narcissistic abuse.
this is exactly how I feel too, I had a past experience very very similar to this too, from the messages, to the apologising routine, even the sending letters and begging to win me back. The world needs to recognise the tactics, and thanks to Alice maybe everyone will become more educated.
I was with an abusive man for 8 years before I got the courage to leave. He would get physical with me in public. And noone would ever help me.
Seeing everyone stand behind her is cathartic for me. I'm so glad that things are like this now and more and more people are holding abusers accountable.
Seriously guys this is like therapy for me and I am LIVING (it’s hard )
Same here girl, same here... Only 2 weeks ago I got out and this video made me realise it was abuse.
@@threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat8863 thats why i hate the 'if you're in an abusive relationship: get help.' "advice" - like anyone helped??? My situation wasn't as terrible as yours and I was actively trying to leave for 2 years.
you know it’s serious when he says everyone instead of muckers
you don’t have to apologize for skipping through it before. it was a lot at once it’s ok to take space adam appreciate you covering this
My ex (also Alex, ironically enough) used to leave me voicemails after I left him JUST like this. Funnily enough, once he found out I started dating someone, they went from crying and begging to screaming and furious. He told me, and I quote, "I hope you're pregnant, that way you have to come back to me". Alice honey, you made the right choice. I'm sorry I ever watched any of Alex's videos, I'm so sorry more than anything that you were treated like this. Nobody deserves this. I'm so glad she was brave enough to leave. Too many people don't get to or can't before the threats come to fruition.
Edit: changed "women" to "people". Abuse doesn't hold to one gender.
too many people** not women
They can join Alex Day for the manipulative Alexes gang
I've been a victim of this type of manipulation. It's so scary that, clearly, these abusers CAN see what they do is wrong and reflect on it and then choose to do the same thing over and over.
I hope Alice never looks back
I lost it when you womp womped 😂
I'm a bit too invested in this man who I haven't watched since 2020 quarantine 🫥
Literally same
no fr
same
Same wtf
He comes from my hometown. I am absolutely disgusted. I felt so proud of him for so many years... Violence against women must stop.
Mine too, went to college with him. Was an absolute weirdo then too
Man's needs a journal 😭😭😭
he needs a therapist
The whole "I had to lose you to realize I didn't want to lose you" is so gross. I feel so so bad for these girls that their self worth was so low this mf was able to talk to them that way for so long. Like god all of us please wake up and realize we deserve better. My sons bio dad is a narcissist and when i was 20 I just had noooo idea how to deal with him
If you took a shot everytime he said the word "I" you would be dead from alcohol poisoning less than half way into this.
I feel like I would fall for that audio clip :( very scary
that’s what is so terrifying if you don’t look into what he is saying it almost is convincing
I would too and I don't know what that makes me. I don't think it makes me weak or anything . I'm just a sensitive and empathetic person. Alice is one badass person to mic drop and walk away.
I was thinking the same thing. If my abusive ex sent this I was actually thinking wow that would be healing to hear them tell me it's not my fault and maybe fall for it thinking they changed
Just always remember someone who loves you would NEVER do any of those things. Don’t ever try and fix people, just leave.
And please never ignore red flags
He’s a complete monster. A true monster. The ones he likes to talk about. Yeah he’s one of them.
I couldn’t stop laughing when he hit his toe along with your camera moving 😂
how much do u wanna bet he sent her that audio clip once he realized in how much deep shit he would be if all the texts/videos got leaked, this was not a genuine apology (if an apology could even make everything ok) but something he can bank on to get him pity if he got exposed
Honestly I think it's more likely that he wanted her to come back so that he could gain control over her again. Because at the end of the day getting her back and gaining control of her is the best way to make sure that none of this ever comes out. I don't think he was even thinking about how this apology would help his pubic image if the rest came out because what with the type of videos he puts out he would know that an apology like this won't work on the internet. he's been on here WAYYYYY too long to think that would work. I think it's far more likely that he just wanted her back so it never came out, not that he wanted some sort of cushion if it did come out
@@Lina_unchained yeah i can see that, but since he mentioned many times how much of a celebrity he is and famous, i think that when he said he "reflected" he probably reflected more on how this could hurt his reputation rather than how much he actually hurt her, but i do agree he must have had ulterior motives
this audio is really important for recognizing patterns and behaviors in narcissistic abusers. thank you for sharing and talking about this story even when it’s hard. everyone needs to take a note on how you use your platform to uplift voices of others ❤️
Not us giggling at the same time about the toe thing lol. My ex always made sob stories like this, you can hear the tone shift once he stops 'crying'. So manipulative.
Appreciate your coverage Adam, but please remember to listen to your heart if this stuff is too much or too triggering. x
In my opinion the crying feels very devoid of emotion, like to me it comes across like an act or crocodile tears, but no genuine sadness or regret in terms of his behavior towards her. Really the whole message comes across as saying what he thinks she’d want to hear in hopes she’d come back to/forgive him.
I broke up with my narcissistic boyfriend of 4 years and it has taken me months to process and realize I made the right decision. Watching this video has helped because no it’s not normal to act that way and everything you said hit to a tea.
Yep exactly and it reminds me of my ex I just recently broke up with so much. Treated me horribly the entire time and then would backhand me with things like “I’m so sorry” but then follow it up with “are you really going to throw away an entire lifetime together over a few bad months”. He had put me through “tests” since the beginning of the relationship. I’m glad to be out and away. I feel horrible for anyone who’s been through this
@@Maddie-yu4uhnever take that tactic. I hate that “we’ve been together so long why throw it away?” Why would I waste more time being miserable? We don’t know how long we have to live, you could find a new relationship and those years will mean nothing, if you live for a very long time. Wishing the best for both of you 💕
@@mono_tone6511 exactly!! Thanks so much. I have no clue why they think saying that will work on anyone. It’s worse when they act remorseful for how they treated you and then go and say that. It just sounds so contradicting.
If you can never realize how much you "need" or appreciate someone until they are gone, how will they ever feel loved or appreciated when you are together? It amazes me how these types of people think that appreciating someone in hindsight is more than the bare minimum.
This whole situation has triggered me SO MUCH! I have had an ex with BPD that caused me the worst mental health ever. Alex sounds EXACTLY LIKE HIM. The crying and yelling, apologising and then saying that I was the love of his life after he called me all the names you can think of under the sun and SA me
The cries just make me laugh at this point
I’m so sorry you went through that.
So sorry to hear about this :( Very glad you're out of that situation
and your dog is adorable btw
@@lisele39 thank you so much! It’s been 3 years so I’m way better now
It’s also so obvious when he stops to say something more logical, like “I have to take a break now” where the crocodile tears completely disappear and he doesn’t sound even remotely remorseful. What a narcissistic “apology.” I still have unopened letters from my abusive ex that he hand wrote me, after I finally left. I know that game waaaay too well.
This whole situation is so fucked, I’m glad your speaking about it and highlighting how disgusting he is adam
Really appreciate and respect the way you've been covering this whole situation. Its truly fucking heartbreaking and you seem to be one of the only voices that isn't just treating this like TH-cam drama
Yeah the other videos I’ve seen don’t seem to have much care about anything to do with Alice and just hating on Alex because they never liked him anyways. Like yes he’s a terrible person but don’t forget about the victim who went through this.
I know this is incredibly serious but Adam laughing at the stubbed toe and the camera moving at the same time is 💀
“It took me meeting your friends to get you to stop being a bitch about it.” Crazy sentence. Hes out of his mind.
“ReAlLy fOoKiN piSs pOoR”
This reminds me of my first relationship so much. My heart hurts for Alice so glad she came out and talked about it.
So glad I quit watching him ages ago but this is horrific 😢
This is gonna be hard to hear but we NEED to hear it so we all know what abuse sounds like.
Sadly it seems like most of us have first hand experience.
I learned the hard way. Abuse was so normalized growing up that I didn’t recognize it in other relationships. So many people learn the hard way, and it’s bc they don’t know what behaviors are unacceptable/what abuse looks like. I’m so glad for Alice keeping record and being brave in coming forward. I think this sort of thing should be taught in schools in health classes along with sex ed
@@hydrogen3266 It is taught in school.
@@alexisfreezeidk where you went to school but there was never coverage about how to spot signs of domestic abuse/how to spot signs of someone who may escalate into being abusive and what kinds of red flags really matter in a realistic situation. nobody I have ever known has ever had any education on that.
@@hydrogen3266I fully agree. You are told what abuse is but when you experience it, you don't instantly recognize it
still in complete shock with all this... much love to alice
Thank you for covering this Adam ❤
As I’m watching this my ex is sending me so many love bomb messages and honestly I would have caved if I hadn’t watched this like I really do appreciate you covering this I don’t know why or how but it helped like a lot.
this behavior isn't normal and you do deserve better! It's going to suck and hurt for a bit but there are such great people out there in the world. Stay strong, do the things that give you energy and make you happy, try to hang with friends... You got this.
@@Luxiverse. thanks love 💗 situations definitely not the best but blocked him on everything last night. 🥳
PLEASE never ever go back! Ice him out as they say, block every account and new number. I have been there more than a year ago and it was absolute hell to go through! After all this abuse you're in a state of Stockholm syndrome, give yourself time to recover
@@zombiedoll986 absolutely. Thankfully it’s not nearly as bad as what some people go through but he did get me pregnant which adds another layer to things but I feel safe and I feel a new start 💗
You deserve better and you WILL get better. You have so much life left to live, and you will find true happiness and joy no matter who or what it may come from. Wishing you the absolute best 💕
ill say right now what i should have known from the beginning of my relationship that ended with a restraining order.
1. If he wanted too he would.
2. if he tells you who he is in the beginning, believe him.
Cats are too much to take care of?
Dude. Aren't they the pets with the "easiest"upkeep?
My eyes are sore from how much they rolled listening to that voice memo
That comment asking if she was cheating got me so mad. She's got large amounts of proof that this guy is abusive and they still look for an excuse to try to blame the victim.
People like that infuriate me, like even if she did that would not excuse or warrant that kind of behavior. It’s so funny how they only understand how actions could cause someone to respond and feel, but only in defense of the abuser.
i really want to hug her
is crazy how he is just telling on himself and telling on himself and telling on himself on that voice message
Thank you so much for pointing out when you pick up on the manipulation. Years and years ago I was in a relationship that used so much of that.. I even catch myself believing in what alex is saying at times, then you point out how this is manipulative, and *then* I see just how clearly it mirrors the type of things I dealt with. It can be so hard to shut off empathy towards those people, because on the one hand you want to believe that people change and learn, but when looking at it pragmatically their words are almost always just a means to an end. I really needed that reminder, so thank you again. I appreciate you covering all of this.
Kavos released his video yesterday…he ripped ImAlexx to SHREDS, and rightly so.
Kavos never liked him. Which is fair. But unfortunately I don’t reckon he really cares about the victims of this stuff either. Idk I just get the impression he doesn’t do the videos he does because he wants justice for victims
That’s why I love this channel. It’s so respectful towards the victims
@@janie7195adam and swoop are my faves for this kind of info for the same reason. The respect (and petty) are real. ❤
@@janie7195 I agree and feel safe being able to get this off of my chest here and relieved for another Mucker's spidey senses to go off too. Although what he did and what she has been going through doesn't need to be shoved under a rug and deserves visibility, there was something disconnected and off about his delivery that gave me such a slow burning ick that I couldn't finish the video. Also clicked for YT to not recommend his vids bc that was the first time he's ever come up on my feed...and for good reason apparently. It was HOW he spoke with his word choice and what he didn't respectfully not say that should have been common sense about it along with some other things. I can tell he wasn't doing it for what the real reasons should be and also just wanted to sound his loudest trumpet of virtue signaling.which is never a good look...quite like Alex does, or did. I did check out his comment section and ngl, a significant portion seemed a bit unhinged.
@@janie7195yeah all of those dude bros are just covering for the clicks sadly (imo) I even watched one video where someone was making jokes about the victim , really gross stuff.
@@janie7195You could very well be right, but when I watched, to me, Kavos seemed like he was genuinely disgusted for Alice and hoped she gets the justice she deserves. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm glad you are covering this and sharing this story.
The ptsd this is flaring up inside of me, is kind of wild rn. Holy jeeze... I hope Alice, myself, anyone that got wrapped in this kind of life. Can accept that this guilt isn't ours to keep. Maybe we can heal one day.
so glad adam is covering this. also it's really meaningful to me as someone who has had similar experiences as Alice that adam is visibly impacted by her experiences (though I am sorry if/that it hits home for him, i know how painful it is). i dunno i just think he is approaching this is a respectful and compassionate way and i am grateful that he is talking about it.
alex in a month: "hey.. its been a while since you saw my face..."
I don’t think the camera wants anything to do with Alex😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I've been watching him since about 2017/2018. This is terrible, and I was shocked. Alice is so strong for coming out about this ❤ And Alex is truly awful :(
As a bipolar bpd aspergers survivor from two abusive relationships - one with narcissist - i feel bad for Alice and send her lots of love and i'm not giving excuses for Alex, BUT.
BPD with NPD is a common combination and he does look like he really needs professional help, for his and others sake. I hope he does get help because i remember my dark dark times drowning into bpd without therapy and i really hope he won't end up hurting anyone else, especially himself, taking the way the internet launched at him (not without the reason tho, but still).
To further explain - i Can't Imagine for example how Alice would feel if he'd just succumb to the self loathing and stuff. He genuinely needs help. And some time alone. And maybe some supervision. It helped with my borderline (i'm nowhere near to being narcissistic tho), so dunno, just sharing my thoughts.
alice has bpd and bipolar n honestly alex most likely does too
The inabber situation is crazy too. Have ypu seen? His ex tried to insinuate hes like alex and he debunked it and someone close to them said she lied
Yeo that was really messed up strange woman
Oh wow thats terrible
she ended up outing herself for coercing him into having sex too like it’s absolutely crazy how some people act just to get in the spotlight it’s so vile
“I love you and i miss you and i HUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
This situation is genuinely so vile and unbelievable. I can’t believe someone who’s been on the platform for so long, acting like this without the public knowing.
(Read my replies to the comments)
You should know most people will not show their bad side to the public, hardly ever. Everyone you watch or see could have a really dark side.
It’s vile but definitely not unbelievable. This shit happens ALL the time. The only thing that’s unusual here is that Alice actually recorded these incidents of abuse and released so much evidence to the public. Usually victims live in fear and are discredited and not believed when they come out with their story. She’s smart and really brave for putting so much personal stuff out there so people truly understand what she went through
@@liesbeneathoureyes Yeah, I’m happy that she has evidence, but I definitely wouldn’t have thought to record it. Who knows what would’ve happened if she tried to leave him and didn’t have evidence? I’m aware that it’s realistic for someone to actually do stuff without public knowledge, but it’s crazy how none of his friends, one of whom even lived with him, claim they don’t know anything about this behavior. I definitely think his personality would’ve slipped out had his friends not had a pretty big platform-if what they’re saying is true.
i’m so glad she left and didn’t hear this and go back. i had a relationship super similar with the almost same emotional abuse being yelled at and degraded and also physically abused and we were young. it was very hard to leave especially when it seems like “oh they realize what they did was wrong finally! they can change!” if she went back the same old stuff would happen he would use his apology and say i didn’t mean any of that and it would be even worse
why is it when i hear alex talk all the closed captions in my head are typed like this "i hAvE cHaNgEd aNd LeArnEd mY LeSsON"
In Narcissistic Abuse terms, ImAllexx's recording is called "Hoovering." It's an attempt to draw the ego supply target back in with false declarations of change, self-awareness, and future promises. The bid for pity is an attempt to manipulate the ego supply target to feel sorry for the narcissist.
This is the equivalent of the "Bargaining" stage in the 5 Stages of Grief (aka 5 Stages of Emotional Processing).
He does sound legit upset and crying at points. However, it sounds like he's more upset about his loss and pain than hers. He does discuss his own mistakes, but it sounds to me like he's more worried about how his mistakes made him look than how they made her feel.
Hoping he can learn from this. He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.
Thankyou for this comment babe I’ve been through this myself know a lot about narcissisism and didn’t know about these terms ❤❤❤
36:35 😢😭 ADAMMM. I needed that. And I'm sat here just SOBBING. I'm 3 months pregnant, and already have a special needs toddler with a man worse than this one. And when I tried to leave, the system wanted me to hand my child over to him unsupervised while on sedating medications (falls asleep driving) and my child can't talk to tell me he's not okay, he can't use a phone 😭😭 so I came back and stayed with him...for my baby. 😢 And I wish so badly I could have changed everything....I blame myself every minute of the day....so thank you. For being kind enough to say that. It means more than you'll ever realize.
I’m so sorry, I hope ur okay. That must be so ridiculously hard. Best wishes to you. ❤
Damn sorry you have to go through that🙏🏻 your babies are lucky to have a strong mother like you & I hope one day you’re able to get away ❤️
My ex would pull the same bs Alex is doing in this audio message. The self pitty and gaslighting/manipulation, everytime i’d try to leave. This pmo so bad, i truly hope nothing but the best for Alice. 💞
Alex can continue to wallow in his self pitty🤷🏻♀️
also congrats to 420k subscribers, Adam🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
He will never change. This is just him trying to get her back. She goes back and he just reverts back to the same behaviour. Controlling narcissistic behaviour. He needs to stop those crocodile tears too. Me me me me me is his MO.
Adam you literally never stop lol
Everytime i stop watching a video of yours, theres more
I really appreciate you covering this situation. As a victim of verbal manipulation and abuse, if I had had more resources of awareness, I would have gotten out so much sooner than I did. But sadly that was 12+ years ago when people did not/could not speak up for whatever reason. I’m sending so much love to Alice and any other victims of his that are out there. Alex will not get away with this.
I’ve had a crazy ass ex say all these things after i LOCKED HIM OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! That I held the door closed on!!! Just as I said on your last video there is nothing different about any abuser in their CORE. At the end of the day they will always say the same thing when they are punished. She deserves the entire world’s support when he can say he’s wrong. I cannot even imagine how horrifying that this is for her knowing some people will still say it’s not true. Insane.
hi Adam, I'm currently leaving a long term relationship with an abusive narcissist, and it's been so hard to slowly realize that none of that day-to-day behavior was normal. You covering this is really helping me stay strong with my decision to leave, so thank you so much for that.
sending love
I wish nothing but the best for you and a bright long future filled with love and happiness. 💕
i don’t think you have to apologize for not covering the audio if it’s in any way triggering to you
The voice switch is so fucking scary dude. You can see just how quick he is with it and how fast he can turn off his sad boy persona.