Is It Time To Quit One Sided Fake Friendships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025
- When you start to step into your power, trust who you are, you need to let go of one-sided friendships. Those people in your world who make little to zero effort to communicate, interact or take an interest in your life.
I wish they'd talk about this in school, the red flags of one sided friendships etc. It seems I've had to bumble along reaching out to people and then discover their narcissistic traits. I have a couple of close friends I can share everything with but mostly my best friends are my books and dogs.
They are more like passing and superficial acquaintances. I put in great effort and always trying to schedule and reach out. Finally hit me that if I did nothing there was no relationship. My texts would be ignored and when I ignored theirs finally they were upset. If they need something after nothing for a month like an egg they don't even address me personally or ask how I am. Did not respond for the egg. Not anymore. Find self love and you are worth so much more. Took me 61 years but got it now! Rather be alone than put up with crumbs from anyone!
It's So sad how fake people can be. Leave them to the folks the hold So high.
We are similar with our histories. I don't put up with it any longer. Rather be alone than diminished and not valued. They do not respect the truth of friendships. We are worth great effort and will wait for it. Clear out what has not been helpful.
Do these people actually exist? At 48 I have guven up on ever having friendships that matter. People seem self obsessed to me and I am tired of not being seen or heard. It's r depressing
I hear you Vicki, I'm 41 and felt that too. What I had to start doing is asking myself do I feel, really feel deserving? Do I have something blocking me, resistance to being heard or seen? I realised I did, I was afraid of success, afraid of what would happen if I was seen. Since I've published this video I came across two sites online where people generally are committed to real friendship. One is a UK site (where are you based?) another is a global site where woman are looking to connect. Let me know if you want those sites and I will see if you tube will let me post. Also a book that has helped me lots, was a book by Shasta Nelson google her and 'frientimicy'. Good luck, I know how disheartening it can be, but it really opened my eyes up wide.
Seems like we empaths and highly sensitive people should seek each other out for friendships because that’s the only way to have equilibrium where the energy flows in and out in a symbiotic way
I totally agree!
They do hear you they’re just trying to belittle you
I pray you get the friendships you deserve.
thank you, I appreciate that.
Absolutely....I feel as a woman now going through the perimenopause which has been awful, I just can't tolerate these fake friendships.... same thing exactly, one sided friendships are crap. I have distance myself from some because they do not make an effort at all. Even on New year's Eve, I'm the one reaching out first saying happy new year. My 3 sister in law's are so self absorbed too...it was one of my son's birthday, and as we haven't seen much of family lately, I just sent them a photo of my son with his birthday cake, not one of them commented... there's no niceties, yet everything has to be all about them! I think it's best to do your own thing, have your own interests, friendships should be 2 sided but very often it's not...
Thank you so much for this 💗 💖 💓 ❤️ 💕 ♥️ 💗 I've made up my mind for 2023. I'm cutting out all the one sided friendships. I love them but I will have to let them go 😔 😟 🙁 😥
I've never been able find friends easily so found myself used by all I've had. I allowed myself to be used not because I wanted to but it was a way to cling on to have someone there. Truth is they wasn't there as a friend should be. I've learned hard lessons that trying to hold on to not real friendships damages your mind. I know it's hard to let go if you're like me but id urge you to look deep at your friendships and decide whether they are worth the effort you give to maintain them.
Thanks for talking about this. I have had long friendships. Some since I was 10 years old or earlier. But I realized over the years I am usually the one keeping in touch. I turned 40 this week and I realize only 3 - 4 people called me. I know its 2020 and a lot of people just text but I was expecting a phone call at least from certain friends. Sone of them just texted half - assed "happy birthday". These are friends who I call when it was their birthday and have remembered their children birthday every single year' and often send gifts and hand written cards. Some people forgot my birthday all together. I have one friend who I have known for 9 years and I have wished her a happy birthday every single year. She only remembered my birthday once. It was when we were on a group trip so I think another friend reminder her. It hurts. Sometimes I justify it because some of these friends have been kind to me in other ways over the years. I don't want to be keeping score but I can't help but think that a lot of people in my life that I treat with care and consideration regard or treat me carelessly. I have one friend who I send her children gifts every birthday and she never lets them call to say thanks although they are old enough. She will say thanks to me on their behalf via text. I have also been looking inward for reasons why I part take in one- sided relationships and friendships and I do have a better understanding and would like to focus on myself and what I can control as we can't control others but of course being treated with disregard at times definitely hurts.
Thank you so much for sharing, I really understand this intimately. And happy belated 40th Birthday from me. It does hurt when people disregard or don't consider our value when in friendships. I have learned to value myself above all now and the right people are there, but I no longer need friends in the same way as before. Sending you lots of love.
@@KellyMartinSpeaks Thank you so much for the Birthday wishes. And thanks for taking the time to reply. You are right "the right people are there". I need to learn to discern where my time energy and affection is valued and where it is not so I can stop chasing one-sided connections stop choosing people who makes me feel rejected. Send you love light and positivity too!
Yes, hang on tight when you start on your personal journey, you probably are a people pleaser, and a codependent. It's hard, I'm so sensitive that I learned to stay away from people now. It's sad, but I find people so damn mean and self absorbed
My friend apologize that he forgot it was my birthday earlier in the month and that he didn't wish me a happy birthday. Turned out, my birthday was last month 😔.
We have been similarly treated and I too finally got fed up. Crumbs will no longer do or I would rather be on my own. I want the whole cake or a good slice. It is disrespectful of me and my valuable time. Friend verses acquaintance.Thank you for your video.
I’m 41 and about to be 42 in January, I was in my later 20s when I started cutting off toxic one sided friends. I have a few friends but most are men, I give up on having female friends and friends in general. I am naturally a loner and my husband is my best friend but it would be nice to have a female friend to talk to. Looking back all my female friends at one or another said rude things and put me down and said things I would never say to a friend and I will not tolerate the disrespect. Now that I’m older I see they were jealous in one way or another and not happy for me in my good times! A real friend will want to celebrate your good times but friends like that are extremely rare!
I swear Kelly, we could be twins! I have had the same problem and for the same reasons. I am so glad you brought this up because I felt like i was the only one who had this problem. You always make me feel better. Hugs.
BIG HUGS TWINNIE! So glad this has helped. I have to say it works. Also look online for female friendship sites and I am finding sites where you can connect with locals who are genuinely wanting friendship.
Thanks...I'll look into that.
This is an epidemic. Most my friendships are one sided. They always call me for help and advice but then ignore my messages etc when ever I reach out.
Excellent video. BTW, that dress is BEAUTIFUL!!!
Good, heartfelt video……. I’ve just ended a one sided friendship with my sister…… it’s very sad
Excellent video Kelly, you've hit the nail right on the head!
thanks Joe, glad this has helped
yes,indeed say it again QUEEN because you definitely deserve better sometimes the most painful decisions are the best i went through the same exact thing in 2017 myself you have to know when to move on COLD turkey when that connection is broken or gone !! thanks for the video !!
Thank you Donovan and yes cold turkey really works!
Well said. Wishing you the best in 2021-2022
Well said 👌
How I related to everything you said wow! Thank you for this.. and appreciation n love for your work 💚
Thank you
Ty 💕✨
One sided friendships most time is an indication that they are jealous of you not all times though. The best decision is to distance yourself from them it’s very draining and unfulfilling been through this thinking things would change. Remember the Lord and Jesus Christ is your number one friend and deeply cares about your needs and desires. 🙏🙏❤️❤️
Can you make a video (or respond to this) about why a friend would suddenly stop liking or commenting on your Facebook posts? I have this friend who always used to like & comment constantly & about 5 months ago has stopped. I asked them if they are able to see my posts & they said yes. They said they're able to see them & thought that they had been liking & commenting but they haven't. How do I handle this? Feel like my friend lied to me twice & possibly unfollowed (not unfriended) me. I know I shouldn't let this get to me & I wouldn't be worried but this is out of character for them to act this way. What should I do? Thanks for any advice.
baller advice
I'm dealing with this ,
it's not easy, I know, how are you handling it?
Just not responding ,saying no thank ,not making time for the friendship ! I have moved on ,one sided friendships don't work ! She was very self centered !
That's the best way, just let them go. And often they find fault in those doing the letting go instead of owning their shit, literally!
I let go 6 Mo. Ago ,she just didn't notice til now !
yes I have had that before too, they don't see you have vanished.