Father-in-law should also be paying for wasting police time and funds that were used trying to find the drugs. This going to be on her record even though they found nothings and was innocent. Father-in-law didn’t care about ruining his own grandchildren’s special vacation. What a sad, entitled man. Hopefully, in jail he will realized the pain he caused and worry . And why his actions has caused the family to be done with him.
In story 1 the way OP's husband is so dug in taking his father's side makes me wonder if HE is hiding a few things from OP that his father knows about. It is absolutely disgusting that he would betray his wife like this when she had to be humiliated with the accusation and search and the entire family had to have their vacation delayed because of FIL's addiction. I don't know if I would have said anything much when I called FIL when it became clear he was going to be late. Maybe something like, "ok, see you when you get here," or something vague like that. I have learned to not police other adults' behavior and let natural consequences happen.
Yeah, wonder how OPs hubby would have reacted about the accusation when, after not finding anything on OP, decided she may have put it on one of their kids instead.
Story 1: Some people ask silly questions. I mean FIL missed his flight because he had to go to his "friends" for gambling and then he sends a wrong tip to airport security to make op and her family miss the flight, Through that FIL also put OP marriage at risk and now OP asks if she is the AH. This question is completly silly. OP is NTA. FIL is the AH. He made his whole family miss their flight because he had to gamble. I'm rely close to getting a concussion from shaking my head
She would have had to be scanned and possibly strip searched. Security and the police should have worked the airline so they didn't lose all their money because they didn't intentionally miss their flight. That FIL was a massive AH.
Press charges against father-in-law!!! Why do we even have a justice system if we don't hold criminals accountable??? Sue him too. He is worse than a thief. He stole your money in extra fees related to making you miss your flights, stole your time, and put you through a traumatic experience. What kind of FOOL would think that is okay??? I am sick of people doing more harm than a mugger or car thief and getting a pass because "FAMILY".
And yet no one was willing to tell op what Casey was saying. Uh, yeah. It's obvious she was badmouthing op. Op is better off without that group of so-called 'friends'.
You should go on without them. Never allow anyone to take control of your vacation. What your father in law did was outrageous! I would never trust him again.
She did, when she finally got released. But it cost a lot of money and they lost a lot of holiday. I would sue the FIL for the emotional and financial damage. Given his gambling addiction, that should bankrupt him.
Being searched for drugs by TSA like thus isn't a trivial, easy thing; it would have been humiliating, degrading and traumatic. OP shouldn't let FiL be in the same room from now on! Heres hoping FiL ends up behind bars, so he can get a similar dose of what he put OP through.
@@SH-qs7ee I agree. What that father in law did was demonic. She should have nothing more to do with him ever again Her gut instincts were right the first time when she said NO to going on vacation with them. Let your yes, be yes and your no be no. Don’t change your decisions. It’s a built in warning inside of you. Watch for all red flags. They are warnings too. Don’t worry about hurting someone like this, for they hurt you first.
In the first story the OP is most assuredly is *NOT* the arsehole. The father-in-law is not only the arsehole, but I am pretty sure that he broke more than a few laws by making a false allegations against her with the TSA. People have been injured & worse when someone has filed a false report with any sort of law enforcement agency. Not to mention depending on the agency, even just an investigation can *NOT* only remain on their record, but have very negative consequences down the road.
Humiliated, frightened, degraded and dehumanized; they would likely have had OP strip searched at the very least. And what would have happened if they decided OP was using the kids to hold the drugs and have to put them through the same thing.
the op need to be very spot on with this . for if FIL went this far who else will he do this to he may mess up your kids if he do not get his way. then if he want money from husband and he said no then is he going to call the cops on him
In the second story, again the OP is most assuredly *NOT* the arsehole. Her so called friends on the other hand *ARE* the arseholes. As they: A. Knew *FULL* well that *IF* the OP knew that her ex-friend was going to be there that she wouldn't have gone to the party. B. That they were gaslighting her, because they know full well that they were talking about the OP. As did the OP, otherwise why were they not only whispering, but looking right at the OP, pointing & laughing? C. They were also hoping for & disappointed that the OP did *NOT* have a major breakdown at the party as a result of their whispering & finger pointing. The OP is, in my opinion better off without those so called friends in her life.
Story 1... for sure report to cops, but also sue him. If 5 grand or less, just small claims court, but have him reimburse you for tickets, time, etc. This stupid man deserves every punishment, legally and civilly!
It's OK to eliminate negativity in your life whether it's your close friends or your family. It's better for your own sanity. If they cannot respect you it's better for you to distance yourself from them you are not ditching them just distancing yourself from that negativity so you can live peacefully.
They should’ve worn OP that Casey was going to be there, yes Casey is still friends with the person celebrating op does not have an issue with that she was not warned and her friends know the history. OP needs new friends they’re not even trying to have her back🤦♀️
story 1 - who the hell asks to join a vacation they were not invited on?! and THEN pull all that crap?! holy crap. i would never speak to FIL again for real. wow. definitely press charges, but at least in the US, the police themselves usually do that when their resources are wasted that way.. also, he cant gamble in prison. lol.
You're wrong on that count; there is a lot of gambling in prison; not for large amounts though. The good thing is he will get a dose of the treatment he put OP through. Five hours with TSA agents who think you have drugs, they sure as hell weren't simply talking to OP.
Story 1, NTA. I agree with op, fil should have been the one to compromise when it was HIS fault that he couldn't make the flight. What he did was beyond wrong, just because he wasn't going to get his way he falsely reported op to stop them from going. Op was completely in the right to expose his gambling addiction after what he did. Hell no, fil knew how important the trip was yet he did all that crap. Letting it go is enabling his behavior and apparently the husband doesn't realize that. Wow, he actually refused to quit his addiction, refused to listen to his wife and he's losing her. Wow, he probably thought if he threaten to divorce op that she'll stop and doesn't even realize how horrible his dad is.
The father in law should be charged with filing a false police report and let the chips fall where they may. And sue him in civil court since from now on your going to get heavy scrutiny everytime you fly because of the false report.
1st story. OP needs to press charges. She is somewhat lucky he called TSA before she left the country. If he had called NZ Customs or Police, OP may have been prevented from entering New Zealand. That would have destroyed her vacation completely & could have resulted in OP having difficulties travelling to any other country in the future.
Honestly I think the mother is lying cuz invitro is expensive and she said she wasn't financially secure if the father is so abusive and controlling you would think you would notice that large amount of money missing from one of his accounts
They are not in the US and we don't know how she did this. With a mainstream sperm bank or something a little more low end. I doubt it was the old fashioned way, though.
Shrug this is Asia. They are totally different culture where women have a lot less power in a relationship. It's all the 'womans fault' she can't get pregnant and if he wanted to divorce her and leave her in poverty then I can see her taking drastic actions. It may seem like I am absolving the wife but again you have to understand Asian culture and marriage is different. Most are semiarrranged business unions. Divorce would bring great shame to her and her family and it would have made it difficult for her to get married again. He would literally destroy her life. For something that was his fault in the first place. Women don't always commit paternity fraud out of spite but self preservation. I mean look at King Henry 5th and all his wives. Divorced and killed because he can't produce a son.
Story one: In a just world OP would be allowed to have FIL horsewhipped. Our permissive society frowns on corporal punishment, though, so all she has left are the criminal and civil charges, all of which she should exercise. That being said, men like FIL will only remember the pain if it cuts through their addiction, so expect no change or true repentance.
This man wants everyone to put their life on hold for him for a trip they’ve been planning for forever I don’t think so😡. There is a very special place in hell for this father-in-law he couldn’t make the trip so he ruined it for everyone else he better pay them back take him to court and sue him.
The scary thing is no one mentioned what TSA did with OP during those 5 hours; more than anything, that is the worst part of what FiL did. OP would have likely been strip searched, had strangers rummage through her luggage and underwear, made to have xrays to show she hadn't swallowed anything, and so on
Last story: I would demand mom take me to the sperm bank and prove she was a customer or I would always wonder if she cheated on dad with another man. If she refused to prove it or tried to make excuses, I would tell dad.
Exactly , mom had no formal education or way to support herself , yet magically came up with money for a sperm bank . I think I agree with you and mom was taking direct deposits instead of anything formal or above board . No formal education but street smart, sure she found a way to stay with her meal ticket anyway she could even if that meant someone else knocking her up .
Are you willing to lose everything by telling? Your "father" will walk away from all of you! Do you think he will stick around after heating this news. Your mother's life will be destroyed but so will yours and your sister's. Your paternal grandparents will reject you. This will hurt everyone and help no one.
Story 2 they have a point you don't know what she said but people pointing and laughing at you that's not always good especially when no one would tell you what she said
Last Story. While I understand people condemn the position of Dad and his relations, people seem to be ignoring the fact that Mom duped him into raising another man's child, twice, even if it did not involve having a sexual affair. Also, where did this occur? South Korea? United States? What are the odds that a South Korean sperm bank would have pure Chinese donors. Compare that to the odds that she has Chinese friends who would be happy to 'contribute'? Why would Mom go to the expense and hassle to SECRETLY use a sperm bank when she could accomplish the same thing by mating with an acquaintance?
Honestly, sounds like the guy would be more upset that the kids aren't his than the thought of his wife cheating on him. You are correct that even if there was no cheating, it was still paternity fraud. That isn't a small thing. If she was honest with him, maybe she could force him to get medically checked out by threatening to expose his infertility to the world, then they could work through it. IVF or possibly getting a familial donor. Mom's fear of losing her bank account took that away from him.
Shrug this is Asia. They are a totally different culture where women have a lot less power in a relationship. It's all the 'womans fault' she can't get pregnant and if he wanted to divorce her and leave her in poverty then I can see her taking drastic actions. It may seem like I am absolving the wife but again you have to understand Asian culture and marriage is different. Most are semiarrranged business unions. Not love matches. Divorce would bring great shame to her and her family and it would have made it difficult for her to get married again. She would be considered 'left over'. Yes even in South Korea. He would literally destroy her life. For something that was his fault in the first place. Women don't always commit paternity fraud out of spite but self preservation. I mean look at King Henry 8th and all his wives. Divorced and killed because he can't produce a son. Lineage is everything in these Asian countries. This is why so many girls were left to die on the streets in China. They needed that lineage. South Korea has a less repressive government but the culture is very similar. If son tells father there is in fact a very good chance son and all of his siblings will be disinherited. His Grandparents would likely abandon them financially in favor of their cousins. That's how bad it still is.
@@kellharris2491 well, regardless of what MIGHT have happened, now it is all the woman's fault. This is an unforgivable sin in my book. It would have been kinder to just murder the guy.
Oh for goodness sake how disgusting is story one. If my husband didn’t go no contact with his dad I would divorce him. I would go to police about false tip. The in laws would be dead to me.
He must have needed to get high before the flight? What an idiot! My mom heard that two of her sisters and their husband were going on a trip to the Bay area. She insisted on going on this trip. When they arrived she assumed they would do everything together. Both of her sisters had planned separate things to do and on!g returned to the hotel at night to sleep, often quite late. They only came together to save on expenses. My mom and dad were left to there own devices for a week in a city with nothing to do! Karma!
On the false drug reported the airport I don't know what country you live in. But people go to jail for a long time for making those false reports. I would definitely take him to civil court and sue him with my lost Revenue. You'll be doing him and mother-in-law favor he'll be giving you the money rather than having his buddies hustling him.
Story One: Any spouse that would want to rug sweep what FiL did is someone that deserves to be an ex-spouse. FiL needs to deal with all of the consequences for what he did. He's a 4-year-old in an adult's body and his son wants to be his enabler.
Story one what the father-in-law did the term is he swatted her. People have been shot down in their living rooms from this kind of behavior. Father-in-law definitely needs to go to jail. And unfortunately you were marriage will not stay together. Your husband showed himself to be a beta week daddy's boy and you will never have respect for him. You'll find that you feel uncomfortable around him and his behavior even the slightest text will be magnified. Save yourself the pain divorcing now
story 2? - OK, i wouldnt say YTA and i am going to be very blunt here so you clearly understand for you rown well being - you need to grow up, and read up on basic etiquette. you are going to have a very sad and lonely life if you insist on only people you like and are comfortable with being around you at all times. You were invited to that guy's party as his friend. HE decides who does and does not get an invite, and he does NOT owe anyone any further information or explanation at all. full stop. if you really cant be grown up enough and friend enough to that guy to suck it up for a few hours in a crowd of people for his benefit (as any friend would do (no friend would ever skip the party b/c they didnt like the invite list OP) then you are no friend to him. i suspect that is why you were kicked out of the friend group. also, by asking everyone what she said during the brief time before your exit, you made a fool of yourself and their dismissive responses may have been disgust by the childish behavior. if she was talking smack about you, she already looked like an AH, and the ones who laughed with her were no friends to you anyway, so that train would continue down its track without your intervention or concern. i know i came off harshly and i honestly mean it for your own good OP - get into counseling or something if you have to, but your mental health and the health of all of your friendships moving forward depend on you recognizing this behavior as unhealthy at best. put yourself in everyone else's shoes before considering your own situation. it helps so much in gaining the context you need to make emotionally intelligent decisions.
Story 2: OP didn't give any information that would point out who was wrong and if so many people are willing to keep Casey around and lose her it's really likely that she was in the wrong. In my opinion, without that information, OP looks like she's trying to get support
Mmmm not really. There are groups of ppl that enable ppl shit behavior all the time. At the end of the day what we do know is the friends purposefully didn’t tell op that someone she didn’t like was gonna be there so she couldn’t have the choice on if she wanted to be there or not. That’s not good friends imo and then they decided to gaslight her when she says she wished they would have told her… yeah no.
I just can't accept someone ordering another person to cut contact with whomever .No one has the right to do that . I get it that the man who accused his DIL of carrying drugs is a terrible and awful human being but his son has the right to make his own opinion and decide if he wants to go no contact with his dad . The DIL behaves like a dictator .
Now this is odd. I thought it was accepted that you back your spouse. FIL got OP arrested and held for hours. This is acceptable behaviour to you? I am glad you are not related to me.
@@stephaniewilson3955 I said FIL was awful, so of course what he did is not acceptable . What I find wrong is OP telling her husband he MUST go no contact with his own dad .And you don't back your spouse when they are irrational and give you orders .OP is not the husband 's boss and doesn't have to obey his wife .You orders kids around ,not adults
He stole thousands of dollars from them. He harmed his own grandchildren as well. This is a hill to die own. Father is an addict that is actively harming his family. If my husband didn't cut contact or at least keep him from me a my children divorce would be the answer. Instead he is making excuses and enabling his bad and insane behavior.
@@marie34K sometimes an ultimatum is justified. FIL actively harmed her and her children. He committed a crime against her and stole thousands from them. What is to stop the father from threatening or blackmailing his son next for money? Addicts are dangerous. Some things are hills to die own. This is make or break for a marriage. Also didn't husband demand she not defend herself and press charges against her accuser? Seems controlling to me.
@@kellharris2491 where did you read that he stole money from the son ? And how did he harm the grandkids ? By not going to the airport ? You half read or half listen then start inventing your own version of the events....Why did I waste my time writing a comment ? Silly me ...won't do it again
She should press charges against fil and go NC.
This is why you should listen to the whole story first
Father-in-law should also be paying for wasting police time and funds that were used trying to find the drugs. This going to be on her record even though they found nothings and was innocent.
Father-in-law didn’t care about ruining his own grandchildren’s special vacation. What a sad, entitled man.
Hopefully, in jail he will realized the pain he caused and worry . And why his actions has caused the family to be done with him.
First story: OP should have taken FIL along, then kicked him out over the ocean.
In story 1 the way OP's husband is so dug in taking his father's side makes me wonder if HE is hiding a few things from OP that his father knows about. It is absolutely disgusting that he would betray his wife like this when she had to be humiliated with the accusation and search and the entire family had to have their vacation delayed because of FIL's addiction.
I don't know if I would have said anything much when I called FIL when it became clear he was going to be late. Maybe something like, "ok, see you when you get here," or something vague like that. I have learned to not police other adults' behavior and let natural consequences happen.
Yeah, wonder how OPs hubby would have reacted about the accusation when, after not finding anything on OP, decided she may have put it on one of their kids instead.
Story 1: Some people ask silly questions. I mean FIL missed his flight because he had to go to his "friends" for gambling and then he sends a wrong tip to airport security to make op and her family miss the flight, Through that FIL also put OP marriage at risk and now OP asks if she is the AH. This question is completly silly. OP is NTA. FIL is the AH. He made his whole family miss their flight because he had to gamble. I'm rely close to getting a concussion from shaking my head
She would have had to be scanned and possibly strip searched. Security and the police should have worked the airline so they didn't lose all their money because they didn't intentionally miss their flight. That FIL was a massive AH.
I couldn't agree more. I OP is so obviously NTA. Father-in-law needs to pay in every way possible.
@@brenttaylor8907
My wife cheated on me a few weeks after we got married! I was shocked when I found out with whom th-cam.com/video/AWCfclrSOK4/w-d-xo.html
Op needs therapy
Press charges against father-in-law!!! Why do we even have a justice system if we don't hold criminals accountable??? Sue him too. He is worse than a thief. He stole your money in extra fees related to making you miss your flights, stole your time, and put you through a traumatic experience. What kind of FOOL would think that is okay??? I am sick of people doing more harm than a mugger or car thief and getting a pass because "FAMILY".
And yet no one was willing to tell op what Casey was saying. Uh, yeah. It's obvious she was badmouthing op. Op is better off without that group of so-called 'friends'.
True
I guess she dodn't have a single friend at that party ..so sad ..but at least she knows the truth now
You should go on without them.
Never allow anyone to take control of your vacation.
What your father in law did was outrageous!
I would never trust him again.
She did, when she finally got released. But it cost a lot of money and they lost a lot of holiday. I would sue the FIL for the emotional and financial damage. Given his gambling addiction, that should bankrupt him.
Being searched for drugs by TSA like thus isn't a trivial, easy thing; it would have been humiliating, degrading and traumatic. OP shouldn't let FiL be in the same room from now on!
Heres hoping FiL ends up behind bars, so he can get a similar dose of what he put OP through.
@@SH-qs7ee I agree. What that father in law did was demonic. She should have nothing more to do with him ever again
Her gut instincts were right the first time when she said NO to going on vacation with them.
Let your yes, be yes and your no be no.
Don’t change your decisions. It’s a built in warning inside of you.
Watch for all red flags. They are warnings too.
Don’t worry about hurting someone like this, for they hurt you first.
In the first story the OP is most assuredly is *NOT* the arsehole. The father-in-law is not only the arsehole, but I am pretty sure that he broke more than a few laws by making a false allegations against her with the TSA.
People have been injured & worse when someone has filed a false report with any sort of law enforcement agency. Not to mention depending on the agency, even just an investigation can *NOT* only remain on their record, but have very negative consequences down the road.
OP you really need a new group of people as friends. Just move forward with your life and keep going.
story 2 these a-holes are not friends BLOCK THEM ALL you deserve MUCH, MUCH, MUCH BETTER
Do not let father-in-law get off the hook I know your husband doesn’t want more drama but people like his father need to learn a lesson.
Casey's friends are not OP's friends and she's better off without them.
In this case, I would keep silent. It sounds as if your dad & his parents would immediately dump you all on the streets.
Story 1 - OP was humiliated by fil, security taking her away, drug search etc. Husband should be behind his wife supporting her.
Humiliated, frightened, degraded and dehumanized; they would likely have had OP strip searched at the very least. And what would have happened if they decided OP was using the kids to hold the drugs and have to put them through the same thing.
the op need to be very spot on with this . for if FIL went this far who else will he do this to he may mess up your kids if he do not get his way.
then if he want money from husband and he said no then is he going to call the cops on him
Story 2 ditch the so called friends
In the second story, again the OP is most assuredly *NOT* the arsehole. Her so called friends on the other hand *ARE* the arseholes. As they:
A. Knew *FULL* well that *IF* the OP knew that her ex-friend was going to be there that she wouldn't have gone to the party.
B. That they were gaslighting her, because they know full well that they were talking about the OP. As did the OP, otherwise why were they not only whispering, but looking right at the OP, pointing & laughing?
C. They were also hoping for & disappointed that the OP did *NOT* have a major breakdown at the party as a result of their whispering & finger pointing.
The OP is, in my opinion better off without those so called friends in her life.
Story 1... for sure report to cops, but also sue him. If 5 grand or less, just small claims court, but have him reimburse you for tickets, time, etc. This stupid man deserves every punishment, legally and civilly!
I love the mother-in-law❤, I’m so sorry she has such a horrible husband he only has himself to blame
I hate when people say suck it up.
It's OK to eliminate negativity in your life whether it's your close friends or your family. It's better for your own sanity. If they cannot respect you it's better for you to distance yourself from them you are not ditching them just distancing yourself from that negativity so you can live peacefully.
They should’ve worn OP that Casey was going to be there, yes Casey is still friends with the person celebrating op does not have an issue with that she was not warned and her friends know the history.
OP needs new friends they’re not even trying to have her back🤦♀️
story 1 - who the hell asks to join a vacation they were not invited on?! and THEN pull all that crap?! holy crap. i would never speak to FIL again for real. wow. definitely press charges, but at least in the US, the police themselves usually do that when their resources are wasted that way.. also, he cant gamble in prison. lol.
You're wrong on that count; there is a lot of gambling in prison; not for large amounts though. The good thing is he will get a dose of the treatment he put OP through. Five hours with TSA agents who think you have drugs, they sure as hell weren't simply talking to OP.
Story 1, NTA. I agree with op, fil should have been the one to compromise when it was HIS fault that he couldn't make the flight. What he did was beyond wrong, just because he wasn't going to get his way he falsely reported op to stop them from going. Op was completely in the right to expose his gambling addiction after what he did. Hell no, fil knew how important the trip was yet he did all that crap. Letting it go is enabling his behavior and apparently the husband doesn't realize that. Wow, he actually refused to quit his addiction, refused to listen to his wife and he's losing her. Wow, he probably thought if he threaten to divorce op that she'll stop and doesn't even realize how horrible his dad is.
My wife cheated on me a few weeks after we got married! I was shocked when I found out with whom th-cam.com/video/AWCfclrSOK4/w-d-xo.html
The father in law should be charged with filing a false police report and let the chips fall where they may. And sue him in civil court since from now on your going to get heavy scrutiny everytime you fly because of the false report.
1st story. OP needs to press charges. She is somewhat lucky he called TSA before she left the country. If he had called NZ Customs or Police, OP may have been prevented from entering New Zealand. That would have destroyed her vacation completely & could have resulted in OP having difficulties travelling to any other country in the future.
You should have confronted Casey directly and say….Casey if you’ve got something to say, say it to my face….little girl!!!!
Honestly I think the mother is lying cuz invitro is expensive and she said she wasn't financially secure if the father is so abusive and controlling you would think you would notice that large amount of money missing from one of his accounts
They are not in the US and we don't know how she did this. With a mainstream sperm bank or something a little more low end. I doubt it was the old fashioned way, though.
Shrug this is Asia. They are totally different culture where women have a lot less power in a relationship. It's all the 'womans fault' she can't get pregnant and if he wanted to divorce her and leave her in poverty then I can see her taking drastic actions.
It may seem like I am absolving the wife but again you have to understand Asian culture and marriage is different. Most are semiarrranged business unions.
Divorce would bring great shame to her and her family and it would have made it difficult for her to get married again. He would literally destroy her life. For something that was his fault in the first place.
Women don't always commit paternity fraud out of spite but self preservation. I mean look at King Henry 5th and all his wives. Divorced and killed because he can't produce a son.
Sue him!
Story one: In a just world OP would be allowed to have FIL horsewhipped. Our permissive society frowns on corporal punishment, though, so all she has left are the criminal and civil charges, all of which she should exercise. That being said, men like FIL will only remember the pain if it cuts through their addiction, so expect no change or true repentance.
Mmm n llll ll
This man wants everyone to put their life on hold for him for a trip they’ve been planning for forever I don’t think so😡.
There is a very special place in hell for this father-in-law he couldn’t make the trip so he ruined it for everyone else he better pay them back take him to court and sue him.
The scary thing is no one mentioned what TSA did with OP during those 5 hours; more than anything, that is the worst part of what FiL did. OP would have likely been strip searched, had strangers rummage through her luggage and underwear, made to have xrays to show she hadn't swallowed anything, and so on
The father in law is so much AWFUL concentrated on one man.
Last story: I would demand mom take me to the sperm bank and prove she was a customer or I would always wonder if she cheated on dad with another man. If she refused to prove it or tried to make excuses, I would tell dad.
She DID cheat on 'Dad' with another man. It just happens that it was likely anonymous.
Exactly , mom had no formal education or way to support herself , yet magically came up with money for a sperm bank . I think I agree with you and mom was taking direct deposits instead of anything formal or above board . No formal education but street smart, sure she found a way to stay with her meal ticket anyway she could even if that meant someone else knocking her up .
Are you willing to lose everything by telling? Your "father" will walk away from all of you! Do you think he will stick around after heating this news. Your mother's life will be destroyed but so will yours and your sister's. Your paternal grandparents will reject you. This will hurt everyone and help no one.
#2. Nta, but they are not her friends.
Go no contact with FIL whether it goes anywhere or not. He deserves what he gets.
Father in law should also have to pay you back the money missing your flight cost you
Story 2 they have a point you don't know what she said but people pointing and laughing at you that's not always good especially when no one would tell you what she said
First story what about what about suing them for the cost of the airplane and all the travel plans
Report FILs gambling establishment
Last Story. While I understand people condemn the position of Dad and his relations, people seem to be ignoring the fact that Mom duped him into raising another man's child, twice, even if it did not involve having a sexual affair.
Also, where did this occur? South Korea? United States?
What are the odds that a South Korean sperm bank would have pure Chinese donors.
Compare that to the odds that she has Chinese friends who would be happy to 'contribute'?
Why would Mom go to the expense and hassle to SECRETLY use a sperm bank when she
could accomplish the same thing by mating with an acquaintance?
Honestly, sounds like the guy would be more upset that the kids aren't his than the thought of his wife cheating on him. You are correct that even if there was no cheating, it was still paternity fraud. That isn't a small thing. If she was honest with him, maybe she could force him to get medically checked out by threatening to expose his infertility to the world, then they could work through it. IVF or possibly getting a familial donor. Mom's fear of losing her bank account took that away from him.
Shrug this is Asia. They are a totally different culture where women have a lot less power in a relationship.
It's all the 'womans fault' she can't get pregnant and if he wanted to divorce her and leave her in poverty then I can see her taking drastic actions.
It may seem like I am absolving the wife but again you have to understand Asian culture and marriage is different.
Most are semiarrranged business unions. Not love matches.
Divorce would bring great shame to her and her family and it would have made it difficult for her to get married again. She would be considered 'left over'. Yes even in South Korea.
He would literally destroy her life. For something that was his fault in the first place.
Women don't always commit paternity fraud out of spite but self preservation. I mean look at King Henry 8th and all his wives. Divorced and killed because he can't produce a son.
Lineage is everything in these Asian countries. This is why so many girls were left to die on the streets in China. They needed that lineage.
South Korea has a less repressive government but the culture is very similar.
If son tells father there is in fact a very good chance son and all of his siblings will be disinherited. His Grandparents would likely abandon them financially in favor of their cousins. That's how bad it still is.
@@kellharris2491 well, regardless of what MIGHT have happened, now it is all the woman's fault. This is an unforgivable sin in my book. It would have been kinder to just murder the guy.
So MIL is going to be a witness to hearing FIL file the false report?
WHY DID SHE NOT DO ANYTHING AT THE TIME?!?
Oh for goodness sake how disgusting is story one. If my husband didn’t go no contact with his dad I would divorce him. I would go to police about false tip. The in laws would be dead to me.
He must have needed to get high before the flight? What an idiot!
My mom heard that two of her sisters and their husband were going on a trip to the Bay area.
She insisted on going on this trip.
When they arrived she assumed they would do everything together. Both of her sisters had planned separate things to do and on!g returned to the hotel at night to sleep, often quite late.
They only came together to save on expenses. My mom and dad were left to there own devices for a week in a city with nothing to do!
Karma!
The high of gambling, not drugs.
Wow OP NTA but your friends don't deserve you. They are not friends
2) friends decided, and they don't want to ne friends with you
On the false drug reported the airport I don't know what country you live in. But people go to jail for a long time for making those false reports. I would definitely take him to civil court and sue him with my lost Revenue. You'll be doing him and mother-in-law favor he'll be giving you the money rather than having his buddies hustling him.
Story One: Any spouse that would want to rug sweep what FiL did is someone that deserves to be an ex-spouse. FiL needs to deal with all of the consequences for what he did. He's a 4-year-old in an adult's body and his son wants to be his enabler.
How tf is Op in story #2 the ah. She just wanted to be warned that her ex friend was at the party. Hell the trash took itself tf out if you ask me.
Aotearoa the land of the long white cloud....
Story one what the father-in-law did the term is he swatted her. People have been shot down in their living rooms from this kind of behavior. Father-in-law definitely needs to go to jail. And unfortunately you were marriage will not stay together. Your husband showed himself to be a beta week daddy's boy and you will never have respect for him. You'll find that you feel uncomfortable around him and his behavior even the slightest text will be magnified. Save yourself the pain divorcing now
What a nasty FIL
Keep this secret. Tell your sister AFTER daddydearest dies.
Nta, file the report and divorce pos husband
story 2? - OK, i wouldnt say YTA and i am going to be very blunt here so you clearly understand for you rown well being - you need to grow up, and read up on basic etiquette. you are going to have a very sad and lonely life if you insist on only people you like and are comfortable with being around you at all times. You were invited to that guy's party as his friend. HE decides who does and does not get an invite, and he does NOT owe anyone any further information or explanation at all. full stop. if you really cant be grown up enough and friend enough to that guy to suck it up for a few hours in a crowd of people for his benefit (as any friend would do (no friend would ever skip the party b/c they didnt like the invite list OP) then you are no friend to him. i suspect that is why you were kicked out of the friend group. also, by asking everyone what she said during the brief time before your exit, you made a fool of yourself and their dismissive responses may have been disgust by the childish behavior. if she was talking smack about you, she already looked like an AH, and the ones who laughed with her were no friends to you anyway, so that train would continue down its track without your intervention or concern. i know i came off harshly and i honestly mean it for your own good OP - get into counseling or something if you have to, but your mental health and the health of all of your friendships moving forward depend on you recognizing this behavior as unhealthy at best. put yourself in everyone else's shoes before considering your own situation. it helps so much in gaining the context you need to make emotionally intelligent decisions.
I feel you misunderstood the whole point of this story!
Story 2: OP didn't give any information that would point out who was wrong and if so many people are willing to keep Casey around and lose her it's really likely that she was in the wrong. In my opinion, without that information, OP looks like she's trying to get support
Did you miss the part about them kicking her out of the friends group for daring to ask questions?
Mmmm not really. There are groups of ppl that enable ppl shit behavior all the time. At the end of the day what we do know is the friends purposefully didn’t tell op that someone she didn’t like was gonna be there so she couldn’t have the choice on if she wanted to be there or not. That’s not good friends imo and then they decided to gaslight her when she says she wished they would have told her… yeah no.
Why would you want to stir the pot????
I just can't accept someone ordering another person to cut contact with whomever .No one has the right to do that . I get it that the man who accused his DIL of carrying drugs is a terrible and awful human being but his son has the right to make his own opinion and decide if he wants to go no contact with his dad . The DIL behaves like a dictator .
Now this is odd. I thought it was accepted that you back your spouse. FIL got OP arrested and held for hours. This is acceptable behaviour to you? I am glad you are not related to me.
@@stephaniewilson3955 I said FIL was awful, so of course what he did is not acceptable . What I find wrong is OP telling her husband he MUST go no contact with his own dad .And you don't back your spouse when they are irrational and give you orders .OP is not the husband 's boss and doesn't have to obey his wife .You orders kids around ,not adults
He stole thousands of dollars from them. He harmed his own grandchildren as well. This is a hill to die own. Father is an addict that is actively harming his family. If my husband didn't cut contact or at least keep him from me a my children divorce would be the answer. Instead he is making excuses and enabling his bad and insane behavior.
@@marie34K sometimes an ultimatum is justified. FIL actively harmed her and her children. He committed a crime against her and stole thousands from them. What is to stop the father from threatening or blackmailing his son next for money? Addicts are dangerous. Some things are hills to die own. This is make or break for a marriage. Also didn't husband demand she not defend herself and press charges against her accuser? Seems controlling to me.
@@kellharris2491 where did you read that he stole money from the son ? And how did he harm the grandkids ? By not going to the airport ? You half read or half listen then start inventing your own version of the events....Why did I waste my time writing a comment ? Silly me ...won't do it again