Yeah it’s confusing. Today I found myself in the fork on the road. Having to make decisions and choosing a path and not being able to make it. Sometimes I get over it then days like today it’s hard to push myself.
I’ve met all kinds of different women in the past including neurodivergent women as well. Regardless of the type of women it never worked out. And honestly I don’t blame any of the women I know I can be considered weird according to them. But the point I was trying to show with this example was more of the conflict between the head and the heart. Where my heart wants love but my head does not. So it puts me back on that fork on the road and makes it difficult to choose a path. It’s a challenge. I had chosen to remain single but every time I take that path everything around me is talking about love. And I’m getting overwhelmed with a headache. It’s hard to process is what im trying to explain. Hope that clarifies a bit.
Here is sounds like he maybe a bit of an introvert and need his space. For this I’d say come up with something for example in exchange for when he needs time for himself. Like for example he can have his space but later you both go out together or do something together. As far as leaving him or staying I’d try to communicate first and give it a chance for things to change. If they don’t and there is no change let him how you’re feeling. And if you believe he isn’t the right person for you try to end things on soft note. You deserve your happiness. But if you give to many chances, communicate, etc and things don’t improve that should be a hint that maybe it’s just not meant to be. This is my opinion. But of course this is your decision to make! Hope this helps!
@@grabbelton You’re very welcome! I understand your situation. It isn’t easy. But in my opinion also not impossible to handle it just takes a different approach so to speak to get to the goal. Wishing you all the best! And feel free to ask any questions you need help with. I’ll do my best to help. 👍
I did this with my current " boyfriend". But he is acting very narcistic. He told me he is nervous like he is, only with me, he says its probably because he can be himself with me, but it feels like a punishment to me. Idk wether to leave him or keep trying to get him more conscious about tje words he trows out of his mouth.
Ps he keeps rambling on and on with lots of criticism and disdain. I can't get a word in and if I can he dismissis it and talks over me. Idk how to stop it, and if I can sustain this any longer. Any tips for me??
Sorry for a delayed response. After posting the video I went to sleep. So I’m just seeing this right now. It does sound to me like he is struggling with communication which is something I have a bit of trouble with myself. (For example feeling a certain way but using the wrong words to express it). Generally speaking my advice would be to ask him to slow down and listen. Tell him to allow you a chance to speak fully and have him listen. If he dismisses you or it seems that way stop him and show him that. And ask if he understood what you were trying to say. Another thing that he maybe having is trouble accurately processing what is being told. So having him repeat back what he heard can help you understand if he understood what you said. But in some ways it’s best to spell it out how you feel instead of trying to let him guess. (Not saying that this is what your doing but just giving this as general advice) I can’t really say rather you should or shouldn’t leave him that’s a decision for you to make yourself. But him know your thinking about this it may possible help him see the urgency and maybe help him focus. Lastly, best thing to do is be patient while talking. Trying to not let emotions take over. But rather aim for understanding and openness. And this should help you communicate a bit better with him and just maybe he understands. Oh I just thought of this. When he talks the way he does saying he is nervous ask him to clarify what he means by that. Maybe it could help you understand what he means even though he’s expressing it with the wrong words. Sorry for the long comment. But I hope this helps. 👍
@@leosthrivwithautismthank you again. I asked him why nervous but he could not explain it better. But it was not a bad nervous he said....🤷🏻♀️. Like he could not relax when with me. To much on high alert or something.
@@grabbelton Just my take on it. My opinion. It sounds like he’s over processing something. He should try to not think about it to much. Fixation can cause things like this. I think he really loves you strongly enough where he feels like he doesn’t want to lose you or scared he might not deserve you. And he’s trying to make it all make sense in his head. Again I could be wrong. But just my thoughts. I don’t know if you already tried maybe try reassuring him everything will be fine. To hopefully get him to relax his mind and hopefully it snaps him from this fixation. It sounded very similar to me in a past relationship I had a while ago. I was so excited that a woman said yes to a relationship that instantly the worries came and I just couldn’t seem to enjoy the moment when she was around. It wasn’t her fault but back then I was also undiagnosed and didn’t know I had these struggles. Again just offering my thoughts. And you’re welcome. If you want and if he’s willing maybe suggest my relationship videos I have a few relationship videos and also communication videos that talk about my struggles and what I believe are best ways to handle them. May help him out. Sorry for the long comment. Just giving as much context and information as possible to help.
@@leosthrivwithautism don't say Sorry because I really appreciate your reply. I recognise what you say for him. He was very happy that I wanted to be his girlfriend en tot he might not be good enough.. I hope Hey can Enjoy the Moment but it is Indeed when he is with me daddy gets dad's feeling and I almost think let's end it because this seems not good or something.. But why is he so like that and doesn't ask me anything? If he asked he would know I am Oke or not. Why should all understanding of quirks has to come only from my side? And how long do I have to he the one to give and understand whilst I need to be understood and loved as well...
I tried to make this video small but it came out longer then expected! It's informative though. So I hope you enjoy!
"When you're a friend to yourself, you win." is advice everyone can use. Great video.
I always try to leave something positive! I’m glad to hear this. 😁 and thank you as well!
Thank you for sharing Leo. So many struggle with this. I appreciate knowing how you are handling it.
Glad you enjoyed the video! 😁
I do often get confused on what choices to make.
Yeah it’s confusing. Today I found myself in the fork on the road. Having to make decisions and choosing a path and not being able to make it.
Sometimes I get over it then days like today it’s hard to push myself.
WOW! This one was really good! Hits home in a few different ways! Keep up the awesome work and I hope you are doing well!
Thank you Jay! Hope you’re doing well as well. 👍
I have dated 3 people. They were all neurodivergent in one way or another. Neurotypicals were never interested in me.
I’ve met all kinds of different women in the past including neurodivergent women as well. Regardless of the type of women it never worked out.
And honestly I don’t blame any of the women I know I can be considered weird according to them.
But the point I was trying to show with this example was more of the conflict between the head and the heart. Where my heart wants love but my head does not. So it puts me back on that fork on the road and makes it difficult to choose a path. It’s a challenge.
I had chosen to remain single but every time I take that path everything around me is talking about love. And I’m getting overwhelmed with a headache. It’s hard to process is what im trying to explain.
Hope that clarifies a bit.
@@leosthrivwithautism Yeah, it can be difficult when different parts of yourself want different things. This has happened to me on other topics.
He also says he wants to be a recluse but at the other hand he wants a relationship. It gets very impossible for me to know to stay or leave.
Here is sounds like he maybe a bit of an introvert and need his space. For this I’d say come up with something for example in exchange for when he needs time for himself. Like for example he can have his space but later you both go out together or do something together.
As far as leaving him or staying I’d try to communicate first and give it a chance for things to change. If they don’t and there is no change let him how you’re feeling. And if you believe he isn’t the right person for you try to end things on soft note. You deserve your happiness. But if you give to many chances, communicate, etc and things don’t improve that should be a hint that maybe it’s just not meant to be. This is my opinion. But of course this is your decision to make!
Hope this helps!
Thank you. @@leosthrivwithautism
@@grabbelton You’re very welcome! I understand your situation. It isn’t easy. But in my opinion also not impossible to handle it just takes a different approach so to speak to get to the goal.
Wishing you all the best! And feel free to ask any questions you need help with. I’ll do my best to help. 👍
I did this with my current " boyfriend". But he is acting very narcistic. He told me he is nervous like he is, only with me, he says its probably because he can be himself with me, but it feels like a punishment to me.
Idk wether to leave him or keep trying to get him more conscious about tje words he trows out of his mouth.
Ps he keeps rambling on and on with lots of criticism and disdain. I can't get a word in and if I can he dismissis it and talks over me.
Idk how to stop it, and if I can sustain this any longer. Any tips for me??
Sorry for a delayed response. After posting the video I went to sleep. So I’m just seeing this right now. It does sound to me like he is struggling with communication which is something I have a bit of trouble with myself. (For example feeling a certain way but using the wrong words to express it).
Generally speaking my advice would be to ask him to slow down and listen. Tell him to allow you a chance to speak fully and have him listen. If he dismisses you or it seems that way stop him and show him that. And ask if he understood what you were trying to say.
Another thing that he maybe having is trouble accurately processing what is being told. So having him repeat back what he heard can help you understand if he understood what you said.
But in some ways it’s best to spell it out how you feel instead of trying to let him guess. (Not saying that this is what your doing but just giving this as general advice)
I can’t really say rather you should or shouldn’t leave him that’s a decision for you to make yourself. But him know your thinking about this it may possible help him see the urgency and maybe help him focus.
Lastly, best thing to do is be patient while talking. Trying to not let emotions take over. But rather aim for understanding and openness.
And this should help you communicate a bit better with him and just maybe he understands. Oh I just thought of this. When he talks the way he does saying he is nervous ask him to clarify what he means by that. Maybe it could help you understand what he means even though he’s expressing it with the wrong words.
Sorry for the long comment. But I hope this helps. 👍
@@leosthrivwithautismthank you again. I asked him why nervous but he could not explain it better. But it was not a bad nervous he said....🤷🏻♀️. Like he could not relax when with me. To much on high alert or something.
@@grabbelton Just my take on it. My opinion. It sounds like he’s over processing something. He should try to not think about it to much. Fixation can cause things like this. I think he really loves you strongly enough where he feels like he doesn’t want to lose you or scared he might not deserve you. And he’s trying to make it all make sense in his head.
Again I could be wrong. But just my thoughts. I don’t know if you already tried maybe try reassuring him everything will be fine. To hopefully get him to relax his mind and hopefully it snaps him from this fixation.
It sounded very similar to me in a past relationship I had a while ago. I was so excited that a woman said yes to a relationship that instantly the worries came and I just couldn’t seem to enjoy the moment when she was around.
It wasn’t her fault but back then I was also undiagnosed and didn’t know I had these struggles.
Again just offering my thoughts. And you’re welcome. If you want and if he’s willing maybe suggest my relationship videos I have a few relationship videos and also communication videos that talk about my struggles and what I believe are best ways to handle them. May help him out.
Sorry for the long comment. Just giving as much context and information as possible to help.
@@leosthrivwithautism don't say Sorry because I really appreciate your reply.
I recognise what you say for him. He was very happy that I wanted to be his girlfriend en tot he might not be good enough..
I hope Hey can Enjoy the Moment but it is Indeed when he is with me daddy gets dad's feeling and I almost think let's end it because this seems not good or something..
But why is he so like that and doesn't ask me anything? If he asked he would know I am Oke or not.
Why should all understanding of quirks has to come only from my side?
And how long do I have to he the one to give and understand whilst I need to be understood and loved as well...