Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk & Healing Trauma in the Jewish Community
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ม.ค. 2022
- Where Psychiatrists Get It Wrong; How Do You Know Your Therapist Is Good? Does Judaism Believe in Somatic Work? How Do We Help People with Trauma? Understanding Children's Rebellion
On Wednesday evening, January 19, 2022 (17 Shevat, 5782), the world-renowned expert on trauma, Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score," had a zoom conversation with Rabbi YY Jacobson, on healing trauma in the Jewish community. It included an intimate and raw Q&A session with Fresh Start Alumni.
The program was moderated by Tova Korn, Co-Founder of Fresh Start, and Yochanan Polter, founder of Fresh Start.
Fresh Start Retreat is an intensive 7-day retreat designed for men and women who want to understand, process, and heal from unresolved trauma, neglect, and abuse. To learn more about Fresh Start Retreat Center please visit www.thefsrc.com
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I'm a Southern Atheist ex-Mormon with lots of trauma much that came from being raised in such a strict religious home. Being called evil and bad....screamed at and beaten. Seeing the Jewish community asking for answers from Bessel is so heartwarming and hopeful that maybe the evangelical community will one day do the same....to be curious to change. But I won't hold my breath! We each have one little life. Let's all learn to lift each other up and find joy and live in the moment with love in our hearts. Bravo, y'all! Big hugs
Since learning about my adhd brain and getting incredible EMDR I can move my body in ways I couldn't before. I have hobbies. I can stand naked in front of a mirror and say "Well, you've gained 40 lbs but you're still worthy of love and you are still sexy!" then I shake my titties and laugh. All by myself! Just have fun with myself and laugh. I never could do that before trauma treatment. Reading Bessel's book...learning that my neurodivergent brain is COOL. I feel free. Stilll cry and get overwhelmed sometimes but I won't end up back in rehab over it
What a lovely gentle man Bessel is. Yes, it does take a lot of work to be self aware and calm. And we are all imperfect people. Being Jewish also means constantly finding new depths and meaning in our relationship with Hashem and the mitzvot otherwise it becomes empty.
Great conversation, I’m a jewish orthodox Psychiatrist and Dr. Van der Kolk is an iconic figure from we all studied, and Rabbi YY, from who I learned so much, the profound teachings of our hassidic masters is the best understood of the human soul and his challenges in this world. Tank you very much from Chile, S.A
Dr. Van der Kolk's book is The Body Keeps the Score. Very clear, specific and helpful. Thank you Dr. Van der Kolk and Rabbi Jacobson.
Thank you, Fresh Start, Rabbi Y.Y. and Dr. Van der Kolk!!!! Great program.
The reciting of the Sh'ma is the rod of correction from before the children are born starting at the earliest hour of the day till the eves. THAT is how the true Sh'm of the Creator is comprehended, understood and honoured. Shalom.
I truly love seeing the communication and mutual understanding develop between the panel members. Tudah rabah
I have tears of so many years rolling down my face finally finally somebody is listening RYY thanks you for bringing dr Van der Kolk
To the open public orthodox community that think whatever they’re doing is the right and only way. and thank you Dr Van Der Kolk for the education and healing you bring to the so many hurt traumatized souls. You both are rescuing neshamas. Please I urge everyone to listen to this share it with an open mind!!
In the Jewish community in particular, historically, we have been so traumatized for millennia with no medical intervention to help one deal with it...from ancient times through the crusades, the many expulsions and inquistions, the many pogroms and then the Shoah. There was so much abuse sustained for the survivors who were cast back into the world and told to now make a life for themselves. I am AMAZED that so many of these survivors were able to raise healthy families and not at all surprised at the abuse that has occurred because there was absolutely NO psychological and emotional help for these survivors. What infuriates me is when the rabbinic community has circled their wagons around KNOWN rabbeim who have been accused of abusing children and they are kept in positions in schools and camps. THAT is unforgivable!!!...to place innocent children at risk, some of whom were seeking a Torah life and were totally turned off by this and left...that is a CRIME!!!
Our community is an incredibly kind one. We also have alot to learn in how to handle abusers. I'm not sure why we don't just turn them into the police. It may be because the law hasn't been fair to the Jews for too many years. Still, it's convoluted thinking. It is the job of you and me, that when see any abuse, we put a full stop to it. Seething with superior anger and resentment against the Rabbis is not at all helpful. Focus on what you can do to help your community members.
Professor, thank you for offering us your appreciation and historical connection with Orthodox Judaism. I appreciate your recognition of “shuckeling” while praying, and it brings to mind many other somatic self soothing traditions such the Sabbath afternoon walk, wrapping oneself in Tallis and tefilin, the nightly ritual of covering one’s eyes when saying shema, braiding challa, and saying a special prayer while separating the challah, lighting the sabbath candles and then covering one’s eyes while making the blessing, and so many more self soothing and self healing possibilities.
B"H
The wisdom is not noticing our Body doing ceremonies. Ceremonial behavior derives from dissociation from the Holiness of the Body. Those who do ceremonies don't think just breathing with the lungs they inherited from Sarah Emeinu is Holy enough. So they have to "add" something. They thereby vex their Holy Body and enslave it into carrying out ceremonies. Really doing the Mitzvot is realizing the Holiness of your Body when we simply live a Holy Life. When we experience the Holiness of our Body, we find any sin abhorrent. We don't do anything that is harmful or hateful to or with our Body. Those who are "spiritual" are able to sin because they dissociate from their Body and don't feel how sin hurts the Body to do. No one who knows the Holiness of the Body will induct it into doing bad things. Being "spiritual" is the best way never to become a Tzaddeket. Only when we feel the Holy Mothers and Fathers of Israel alive within us as our own Body which we inherited from them can we be genuinely repulsed by sin.
ב"ה
קדש קדשים = 1418 = 419 = טי"ת = אבותי
הגו = 14 = דוד
דוד המלך = 589 = גופך
נשמה = 395 = דוד ושלמה
הגוף = 814 = צדיקים = אבותי דוד ושלמה
גופי אבותי הקדושים = 1543 = 544 = דמך = מדרש
הויה = 26 = הוא דוד = הוא הגו
גופי ונשמתי הם אחד = 1523 = 524 = ידיך = שיר דוד = ירש דוד = ירש הגו = מלכות דוד הגו
Dr. Bessel Van Kolk, besides God;) is the only one that I believe I could ever trust too be my therapist, healer, and maybe the only one that could really save me.
R. Y. Polter, You are bringing SUCH important education and resources to our community! And as your organization name implies, this is a START. We need so much more. Thank you so much Rabbi YY and Dr Van Der Kolk.
Concepts that are often confused. Fantasy and faith are opposites. Fantasy is an idea
that I cling to in order to avoid facing reality. Faith is an idea that I cling to in order to have the courage to face reality.
This is like a dream come true!! Two of my favourite people coming together! So excited to watch this! ❤
In my life the Jewish way of life helped me immensely. It came into my life in 2005 and in one way or another it has never left me since. The lady is hitting a nerve. I feel speechless and at the same time it is an honour and a blessing to listen to your worries and questions. Empower the positive when you can of course. True the choices are limited but even so precious to express yourself so the people you love get to know who you are and vice versa.
Rabbi YY
I’m so impressed with how u responded to so many diff hashkafic questions that came up .. ur answers were so loving and carefully presented. Thank you!
Thank you very much for sharing this video!
When a good person does something bad, it could come out of a problem built into the culture: oppositional thinking. There are oppositional dualities. One side is good. The other is bad. People easily accept the qualities in themselves that are approved and loved. They disown the qualities in themselves that are disapproved. They project the bad onto others. They do bad things that they blame on the person they projected the badness onto. This requires a basic change in our culture. Elimination of perfection, control, judgment, and oppositional thinking.
23:59 Sit with them. no life is ruined that is projection. You just sit with them and be. The trauma is NOT LINGUISTIC, so no need for words. An empathic resonance with them. Holding hands, giving hugs, let them know they are welcome and wanted in your presence. Get some paper and draw with them, hum or sing softly, cry with them, laugh with them, wood whittling, kite flying, paint, walk with them. You need to calm the regulatory system of the child. They are doing whatever they do to cope with what they don't understand, it is amazing how just being their in silence sitting, walking, or resting heals what hurts. L'Chaim
1:18:45 Trauma question. Strictly from an energy perspective. After you spend time with anyone how do you feel after interacting with them? Do you feel positive and good and glad you spent some time with that person? Then include them more in your life. If after interacting with a person you feel down, drained, depleted, then stay away from those people.
What we understand love to be as humans is conditional, so it makes sense that the human type of love draws pain. In contrast to the Divine Love of the Creator El, which is unconditional and as such repels evil that causes pain.
BH ! I’m so happy this was in my suggested videos! From 3 days ago …. Pssshhh.. BH thank you both so much mamash! 🙏🏻🌻
I have mostly positive experiences with the weekly Shabbat. As a Sephardim & Sabbath-keeping Christian. Only prep day was somewhat of a puberal traumatic experience, particularly during wintertime when the sun wld set early, and the house was in a hassle and bustle to get it clean, your clothes ready and the food! I am a bit familiar with the Sabbath eve, and Kabbalat Shabbat ritual. Very fascinating, especially in the backdrop of the Song of Songs.
31:50 He is spot on because we need each other to regulate one another. It is a mistake to think that emotional regulation is your problem because it is the interaction with others that allows regulation to happen. Think of the relief you feel when you hug or get hugged, it's so peaceful and beautiful and soft. Attunement between people.
Pretty interesting---yeah, I'd say this could make a nice series.
32:37 UNDER all anger is pain. Deal with the pain.
35:41 Stuck people should write, journal, or draw what they feel out on paper. Write what you are feeling not what you are thinking. The thinking often mucks things up. Have to release your own self and treat yourself like you are someone you care about because a lot of it is internalizing what was not yours to carry and it does not belong to you. I don't want to feel this way and as a child I was made to feel that way and now I am mature so i can discard what does not belong to me and bring in what does belong to me. I have always been someone who is worthy of being loved because I have always been lovable.
Rabbi j j needs to talk to rabbi yoni Rosensweig in Israel. He’s an expert in mental health and Halacha
People abuse all situations if you make the shabbos atmosphere happy the kids and all enjoy it
I have also seen people in mainstream secular society say to someone who made a mistake that they messed up and they will have to deal with it forever. Isn't that abuse instilling hopeless in people and giving destructive criticism?
B"H
True Judaism is experiencing for real and for true that Sara Emeinu lives within us and never daring to shame or hurt her by dragging her along with us into sin. Ceremonial behavior derives from dissociation from the Holiness of the Body. Those who do ceremonies don't think just breathing with the lungs they inherited from Sarah Emeinu is Holy enough. So they have to "add" something. They thereby vex their Holy Body and enslave it into carrying out ceremonies. Really doing the Mitzvot is realizing the Holiness of your Body when we simply live a Holy Life. When we experience the Holiness of our Body, we find any sin abhorrent. We don't do anything that is harmful or hateful to or with our Body. Those who are "spiritual" are able to sin because they dissociate from their Body and don't feel how sin hurts the Body to do. No one who knows the Holiness of the Body will induct it into doing bad things. Being "spiritual" is the best way never to become a Tzaddik. Being "spiritual" gives us an escape from the immediacy of the Holiness of the Body. Only when we feel the Holy Mothers and Fathers of Israel alive within us as our own Body which we inherited from them can we be genuinely repulsed by sin.
ב"ה
קדש קדשים = 1418 = 419 = אבותי
הגו = 14 = דוד
הויה = 26 = הוא דוד = הוא הגו
דוד המלך = 589 = גופך
נשמה = 395 = דוד ושלמה
הגוף = 814 = צדיקים = אבותי דוד ושלמה
גופי אבותי הקדושים = 1543 = 544 = דמך = מדרש
גופי ונשמתי הם אחד = 1523 = 524 = ידיך = שיר דוד = ירש דוד = ירש הגו = מלכות דוד הגו
Does Fresh Start have a website?
www.thefsrc.com
31:13 Adult is different than child. Adult needs to connect what they are feeling with what they experienced in the past and wire the implicit or explicit feeling with words because that is what is missing the connection between words-thinking and autonomic reaction. Once they are joined you will not experience that one again, it is resolved, and will not return. Each trauma that comes up after it is connected to thought it will not return. L'Chaim
They seem to be talking about different things.
Thank you so much for your dialog. Have you seen the movie "the origin of violence" from Elie Chouraqui? It links through the generation the violence issue from the Shoah. Do you believe possible that in the 20s century, after 1945 you can go in therapies and never talk about this topic? You Tube has censored my first comment, which was mentioning that the family can’t hold the dsyfunctional society in short.
עלייה
Why was the light bulb addicted to visiting tunnels? He wanted to be the light at the end of the tunnel!
*AMEIN*
It's heretical to say that our chooseness is simple a defense mechanism. It's a theory but it's not true. Whenever we tried to blend in and just go along, G-d makes it not work. When we stay separate, it's better for us.
I was brought up after the holocaust. No hugging no kissing from parents. If you had a problem get over it. Stop being a cry baby. And I have had many many challenges in my life and that is exactly what I have done - just to get on with it.
Yes, *pull yourself up, by your boot 👢 straps, Shirley Anne*
And thanks to that, I’m a strong 💪🏼 individual - Baruch HaShem 🙌🏼
That is very sad. Were you able to treat your kids with the warmth that wasnt offered to you?
@@TheAbergel yes 🥰
This young lady is asking a very important question, and both of them, The doctor and the rabbi. Seem to shy away from the question. So I will answer it. Judaism is that we practice today(particular in the ultra orthodox community) it’s not Judaism! I don’t know what to call it but most definitely not Judaism. With all my respect to the rabbi and the dr, both of them grew up in a very open minded household. The reason why so many of us(ultra orthodox) seem to be suffering, is because, The beauty of Judaism was hijacked from us and taken away brainwashed by influence from Christianity. Yes I said Christianity. The reason for it, due to almost to Millennials living amongst Christians. And yes, judaism got robbed off from Christianity
And I’ll stop right over here.