Donate to the p4a: projectforawesome.com/donate If you're concerned about your mental health, please reach out for help. You can reach out to someone you trust and begin the journey with them, or you can call your local crisis hotline. There's also a crisis text line in the US, UK, and Canada: www.crisistextline.org/ Thank you for doing the hard work of getting help. It is worth it, and there is hope. -John
But what do you do when you reach out and no one is there to reach back? Everyone else in my vicinity is lonely and broken and disconnected as well (I'm a university student). A drowning man can't save another drowning man. Despite it all, I make it a point to be there for people - I know how much loneliness hurts - but no one does it for me. No one reaches back. It feels like we're all forever lost and damned... some just more damned than others.
Thank you for the Crisis Text Line shoutout John, having my video for them featured filled my heart and now it's soaring. They're an amazing resource (and another example of amazing digital community among the volunteers) and I hope that anyone needs that can find it from Crisis Text Line or someone they know
Karishma M. - If there is no one in your group of friends/classmates, then I would highly encourage you to follow John’s example and reach out to a mental healthcare provider. Many universities offer counseling resources for just that reason, and if not, there should be some in your vicinity that a general practitioner or university guidance counselor could refer you to. Your personal support system doesn’t need to begin and end with just your friend group or your immediate family.
@@melissak3885 I have reached out there as well and meet a therapist often enough. But a therapist is different from a friend. And I just feel disconnected sometimes, even when I meet her. Because she is not "my equal" and she can't really help. She's also very overworked (she's one of the 2 mental health nurses on campus) and it's hard to get to her when having a crisis. Even if o do get to her then, she has little help to offer... because pain is isolating and the prison of consciousness is solitary. I apologize for the whining and genuinely do appreciate you trying to help out. I wish you well!
@@Karishma_Unspecified hi, as a university student i wanna share something with you. As you said, everybody's depressed and melancholic these days, especially among our peers. Some of them have concrete reasons such as family or relationships problems, unsuccess, financial problems etc but also, most people are sad bc they feel lonely, broken, aimless, or disconnected. I have also experienced all of these problems (and still face sometimes) but when i saw somebody i care about has physical or inner problems, for example my roommate was so sad bc she felt like "a lonely aimless poor in large crowds", i forgot my problems and talked and listened to her for hours. And we cried for minutes without saying anything (normally, i would never cry with anyone). And after a few hours later, we both felt relieved although i didn't even talk about my problems that much. I mean if we, as the members of the society, always try to ease someones pain rather than think about our blind alley troubles all day along, each individual will be able to feel "good" and get some help. Sometimes befriending others can make our troubles less visible in everyday life. These are my current attitudes for my sadness, i hope you feel better soon, my friend.
Maybe TH-cam knows what you’re going through or you’ve watched videos like these before. That’s my understanding of how TH-cam works for recommended videos.
This quote. I think I needed to hear this. Thanks, John, for encapsulating what I hadn’t yet figured out how to express apart from, “I miss feeling happy.”
Sunset videos narrated by John Green are my favorite. Especially when the narration points out something I relate to so much and makes me feel a little less alone...
When I am lonely I remember Bob Ross painting trees and saying "Never paint a lonely tree, even trees need friends". And I think sometimes, the meaning of it can be found in just standing together; sharing your experiences in the world, being with another being
Vinicius Morais This is such a nice comment! It reminds me how some of the nicest days with friends are days when you do something mundane, just witnessing everyday life together.
@@fromscratchauntybindy9743 You should watch him, he has one entire episode dedicated to a guy he met, who said he couldn't paint cause he was color blind, so Bob Ross made a painting in grey to show that anyone can paint
The sunset videos always bring me peace. 2019 was the most stressful year of my life and I so appreciate your reminders that support is always available.
I've spent this entire year blasting "This Year" by the Mountain Goats, and by gum, if this year is going to defeat us, it only has a few weeks left to do it!
This video reminds me of a book I recently read- ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’. It is such a beautifully written story. Recommend it to anyone whose interested in that kinda genre✨
I’m not sure there’s anything more powerful than hearing your pain echoed by someone else. Nothing is lonelier than pain and knowing that I am not the only one experiencing in my case, mental pain has literally saved my life on a number of occasions. P.S. The excerpts you read from the piece you’re working on were fantastic and moving in a way that I cannot hope to describe.
Could I recommend you the episode "Hawaiian Pizza and Viral Meningitis" from John's podcast "The Anthropocene Reviewed"? I think you'd enjoy the Viral Meningitis part (not the Hawaiian Pizza part heh)
Could you tell me when he read excerpts? I wasn't able to watch more than a few minutes of the p4a livestream this year (Btw, I'm so sorry you're hurting, and I'm glad this video helped you feel a little less alone. John has a way of putting hard-to-describe thoughts and feelings into beautiful words)
Rachel, I hope you won't feel that lonely for much longer and you'll have many caring people near you. And I concur, the video was beautifully written.
"Communities that are bigger than me, but nonetheless value and include me." Thanks for summing up an emptiness I have felt but not been able to describe meaningfully in less than a sentence.
It’s so eerie: I literally just typed “loneliness” in Google because I was feeling a deep sense of loneliness. Then, instead of reading the Google searches, I randomly opened TH-cam and here was the video. It’s like John read all of our minds. John, I’ve been watching your videos since 2014. I always go back to your “Perspective” video at my lowest. Thank you for giving me another video to go to. Thank you for using your words to reach out a hand to our deepest souls when we feel unreachable. Thank you for your honesty and I wish you only the most meaningful days ahead. ❤️
I used to do that exact same thing! I stopped within the last year and a half because the thing is, I'm kinda okay. Not loudly happy, not even free of mental illness. It's just that I never feel as dark as I used to anymore. The Harvey effect will come for you❤
Hey, if you love John's 'Perspective' video I'm sure you'll like his podcast, The Anthropocene Reviewed. One of the episodes covers the same story as Perspective, but it's more essayistic and incredibly moving. The ep is called Velociraptors and Harvey, it's one of my favourites.
@@sams1982 Ohh yes seconded, The Anthropocene Reviewed is one of my favourite media things ever. So thoughtful and great and calming and really gives you that feeling of not being alone. Recommend!!
Wow. "I sometimes feel as if my life is just circling its own misery, like a vulture over a carcass." That really resonates with me. I had just been calling it "being in the habit of unhappiness," but that statement is much more accurate and visceral.
This is such an eloquent summation. I like to put it like this. Mental illness is especially pernicious because it's a closed loop, it rarely sees itself for what it is, and the deeper you're in it, the more tunneled your vision becomes. You forget all of the good times and the death goggles just tighten ever harder around your head like a Chinese finger trap. You can't see a way out, you can't focus enough to seek the help that you need, and you can't imagine it could possibly help you anyway. It's like despair goggles that entrap you in a very negative positive feedback loop. I made a mistake in my despair once. And it has literally scarred me for life, I am reminded of it every breath that I take. Get help. It's worth a shot. Of course it is.
It is a wonder that so many of us feel lonelyness and disconnection in such a similar way, and the tools to fight it are blindly obvious though always seem just out of reach. Thanks for making this trip just a little easier.
2019 has been one of the toughest years for me. When I felt isolated I would turn to TH-cam to feel that human connection and it never seemed to fail me. The Vlogbrothers have been there for me for years through some really tough times. But lately even the people I love can’t seem to help and I’ve been feeling more and more hopeless. Thank you John for the reminder that the problem isn’t surface level and there is professional help out there.
GMM has been that for me - fun content with no real bias. it does, however, deepen my feelings of loneliness since i can only dream of a friendship like that.
That is so brave of you to express and share your emotions in such a way. Please continue to do so as that is how genuine human connection is built. Go ahead, be vulnerable, say what you feel, express your emotions, both positive and negative as they are all trying to talk to us in some way. Most of all, believe in yourself. Sometimes music speaks to us in ways we dont have words for, if you have got the time, check this one out; Ocean by John Butler. It was there in moments where I felt most alone. It had also been there with me in moments where I felt most alive.
Pat Black I often feel the same way. Sometimes I intentionally or unintentionally distance myself from others, because the loneliness is less overwhelming and far less painful when I choose to be alone.
I guess this is correct because isolation is a mental state of being rather than physical. When I was still severely suicidal, I would be surrounded by friends. I was laughing with them and getting hugs but they were always (emotionally) kilometers away from them.
“Although I am a very introverted person, for me, feelings of meaning and purpose flow from the experience of deep connectedness” Couldn’t agree more. In high school I imagine my perspective was a lot like yours (think Whispering episode of Anthropocene Reviewed), but when I got to college a few years ago, that loss of forced community meant that the ironic lens through which I previously viewed the world left me with a big sense of meaninglessness and loneliness, which is something I’ve been working on. Thanks for making these videos John, and for always making me feel a little less alone. Donate to p4a!!
I can't tell you how much I needed this video. I am in my mid 20s and I have been in the middle of that desperate loneliness this entire year. Thank you for continuing to address these feelings even though you are in a better mental place. It is so easy to forget pain when you are not experiencing it.
I’m 20, I didn’t go to university and all of my friends did. They’ve all gone and made new friends and I’m sort of left behind. This video couldn’t have come at a better time, because right now I’m feeling incredibly lonely. “There is help and there is hope.” ❤️
As someone in their early 20’s going through this, I really needed to hear this today. Having someone put my, often times, indescribable feelings into words makes me feel grateful that others can share their experiences candidly while giving validation to my own. Thank you - I truly feel a little less alone.
It's regularly trotted out that loneliness is something the elderly are prone to, but the sheer number of people in their 20s here (myself included) who are breathtakingly lonely is food for thought.
I went through a really bad period of loneliness and isolation last semester, to the point where I would be sitting in a room full of people I know and care about and still feel distant and depressed. I eventually got through it by getting out more and hanging out with some people I hadn’t hung out with as much and I also just went home and was surrounded by those who I loved and cared for unconditionally and who reciprocated my love Your video encapsulated exactly what I was feeling during that period and I wish I had this video and the resources then. Thanks John, never stop being awesome
I'm currently in one of the worst depressive episodes in my life and also my dad is currently in North Carolina for work. This video hits so close to home. And your words mean so much. Thank you❤
I’ve moved out for the first time and am living over a thousand miles from home. I’m living in community but struggle to feel connection. Struggling to feel known. Thanks for this video, John. I needed to know I don’t feel this feeling alone.
I had the same problem once. Felt uprooted and so on. But slowly, I did find a new way through all of that difficulty. It wasn't the easiest thing, but it can be achieved. I hope that, no matter what life throws at you, you'll have no shortage of at least a few good, caring people in your life. Wherever you live.
Even though he won't see this.. I'm glad that John really talked about this.. I was really really looking for this.. *thank you* John... A lot of these this that you are talking about are hitting really close to home... I didn't realize I HAD the things I do until lately... I just thought It was something I had done and that I deserved whatever I was feeling, even though I really didn't know why.. I just recently discovered that it was, indeed Deppression, and anxiety and a whole bunch of other things that go along with those, like eating disorders.. I wasn't ever hungry... And when I realized that these were what they were I didn't feel like anyone would care, because I had felt like I deserved the feeling of being alone.. So, I AM going to try and work through this.. as best I can..
I have found that simply surrounding myself with many people when I am lonely just makes me feel worse. Being around people and not having a connection with them is almost worst than not being around anyone. Once you are in the hole of loneliness, the harder it is to get out. Thank you for this video John.
This is definitely how I feel, a little while ago I even intentionally distanced myself from my friends, because choosing to be alone was far less painful than being surrounded by friends and still lonely
Especially when you’re an introvert just being around people is not helpful. It’s far more productive to be around one person you care about without even talking than it is to be around 1,000 people all talking to you at the same time.
The p4a always reminds me that this community, that I found as a teenager, is even more important and formative to me now as a grown woman. It's a wonderful kind of shared values and I'm very grateful for this space, in its many forms it has taken during this 12 years. I am less lonely (metaphorically and literally, I found many friends here) because of this community, which makes me think many things are worth it. Thanks, as usual.
Knowing that there are other people out there that also feel isolated-even extremely accomplished individuals-makes me feel less alone and more motivated to break my isolationist tendencies. It's crazy just how superficial society can be and how alone one can feel even though most of us rarely look up from the super computer that can connect us to anyone within seconds in our pockets. Thank you, John.
I could listen to a 30 min podcast episode on this. Thank you John for bringing up something that is difficult, but much needed to be addressed. I never comment on videos, but this was so relatable I wish I could hear more
Strange how much I can relate to this video. It is almost exactly what I'm feeling at the moment, from the existential sorrow to the dread of not calling people, to the feelings of meaninglessness in daily interactions. Weird how people in such vastly different outward situations can share so many of the same internal experiences. Hearing this has been very cathartic and gives me hope to keep going on. Thank you.
I don’t know if you’ve read the email I sent about baby Hazel, but I’ve been so grateful for this weird community & the seemingly endless backlog of content from you and Hank - it has filled the quiet lonely moments of motherhood while my husband has been deployed. Thank you, thank you.
And the p4a was the right amount of silliness, community, and purpose that I needed after a tough week. It was my first one to take part in, and I’m already looking forward to the next!
I’ve never felt a true connection to any of the friends I’ve made in high school. As a senior starting her last semester of school in a tiny town, I feel sort of “what is the point” because no one so far has ever truly understood me, and it’s a lot of work to make friends, and I’m moving away soon anyway. But then I look around at myself, losing my passions, trudging through classes I don’t enjoy anymore, feeling ignored and small, and I know I can’t stay like this. I wish that the climbing out of the hole didn’t take so much arm strength, though. I wish I didn’t feel so lonely right now.
Thank you, John! I recently decided to take my happiness seriously. I had not noticed that I had stopped doing that, but for many years now my decisions had been about succeeding (just avarage, first studying, then learning how to do my job). It felt like that was necessary for my survival, but now I feel like my happiness is a question of survival. So I am taking a break, and getting the dog I always dreamt of, but also beyond that, I hope I will remember that I have to be happy in order to survive. Not every decision has to be rational.
When i was an exchange student in the us, felt more lonely than ever. Watching vlogbrothers helped ground me in familiarity. I watched every video from the begining, and by the time i reached the last uploaded video at the time i was in a good place with friends and felt comfortable in my host family, i was less lonely. Thank you.
As someone who has often felt quite similarly and has accepted that my life, if long, will likely contain many such periods of falling into that chasm of despair... thanks, John. Your openness with your mental health struggles inspires me greatly. Thank you for the frequent reminders that with help, patience, and a little determination, we're going to make it through this.
Wow, True words spoken. I recently had a breakdown at work. I’m not one to be emotional or cry but I broke down. All of theses smaller issues hit me like a brick wall at once. I like being alone but I ended up feeling lonely. I know where you’re coming from I’m an introvert. My work set me up with some help I’m on A journey to get better.
2019 was hard in a lot of ways. I felt constantly lonely, even throughout most of my relationship, which I think ultimately lead to its end. Feeling lonely when you’re surrounded by people is almost harder, because there’s all this guilt behind how you “should” be feeling. But it’s good to know that we aren’t alone, even when we feel like we are. Thanks John
"Feelings of meaning and purpose flow from the experience of deep connectedness, of being part of communities that are bigger than me, but nonetheless value and include me" That was probably what hit home most for me.
"Hope is the correct answer" has become my life motto. I share it with anyone who'll listen. Truer words were never spoken. Hank, I'll see you on Friday.
I’ve been dealing with loneliness for so long that I find it impossible to encapsulate and describe what it is to me. I have an appointment with a professional to help me, but man it’s just been so rough. I feel stupid, slow, disconnected, and passionless. A lot of the feelings people describe about loneliness I don’t even feel anymore, I felt them when it first started but now I’m just dull, my brain feels dull. I had a couple of panic attacks due to it a while ago which were extremely painful. I hope this professional works because it’s just hard. I can’t even say I’ve had enough, because I’ve already said that so many times and it didn’t matter, I just hope I can find a good life.
I hope that isolation has not haunted you too much this year, John. and I hope these cycles may be broken for all of those who have been entangled by loneliness this year. May we all seek and find connection.
Me: I'm feeling a thing. Others: Describe the thing. Me: It is IMPOSSIBLE to describe in words, it CANNOT be succinctly summarized, it... oh never mind John Green put it in words for me.
This video reminded my how mental lonliness can feel so much greater than physical lonliness. I recently moved from America to Dublin to start uni, and I have felt the least lonely in a while, even as I’m thousands of miles away from my family. Thank you for consistently reminding us about how important consistently caring for your mental health is.
People constantly ask what depression is like and I can never give them an adequate answer. This is the best I’ve seen it described and I felt so seen watching this video. Also a tad disappointed we didn’t get to see Johns mustache today. :)
The P4A makes me feel valued and included and excited every year, John. Thank you for your dedication to do good in the world, and thank you for including us in your efforts to do good. DFTBA
I'm just gonna post this here because I've already sent two things to my uni love letters page. I've been dealing with loneliness recently and one thing I've realised is that it puts you in a no win scenario. I'm lonely because people don't reach out to me, and because they don't respond to me reaching out to them. And the forces you to take one of two positions; either I'm lonely because I suck and no one wants to hang out with me, or I'm lonely because everyone else sucks and they just can't appreciate me. And neither of those are healthy states of mind. I swing between those two sometimes.
Joseph Corridon I feel that so hard. I became so isolated in college bc of that pattern you describe. But I think it’s more accurate to assume everybody is going through their own Stuff, and most people can get overwhelmed with life. Developing long lasting connections seems to be a social problem these days; it’s not that you suck or I suck or other people suck, but more so the conditions of society are challenging. Hope you find some support soon. I’m hoping I can as well.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Death: The Final Stage of Growth, 1975)
So, I know it's been quite a while since this video, but I was a listener of the podcast before I started watching vlogbrothers, and am gradually watching all the videos as they come up on my recommended page. This one came up for me today, and it was very much what I needed -- to know that someone I look up to went through a period in their mid-twenties like I am now, and that they got through it, and that I can too. So thank you for all that you do.
There is nothing worse than feeling lonely when surrounded by others. This weekend watching the P4A I started to cry out of no where and then realized how deeply alone I’ve felt for so long and how connected I felt in that moment. The feeling of connection, hope, love for humanity, and the cold currently have are making me overly emotional.
One of the most poignant videos I’ve seen. I’ve been through this isolation before, unveiling the depression that was probably already there. So thank you, John, for putting this unfortunately common experience into beautiful words.
John, you always come through at the times I need it the most. Every time you make one of these talks it brings me back to the feeling of being completely understood and connected like when I first discovered you guys in 2013. Thank you for helping me feel safe and heard all these years, and here’s to celebrating another amazing year of P4A!
I‘m in my early twenties now and I‘m doing exactly that. Isolating myself. But it‘s because I just feel so used by everyone around me. I‘m a terrific listener. It‘s probably my biggest strength. I listen to people, friends, family, for hours and hours as they talk to me about their interests, things that happened in their lives, things that move them. And I find it fascinating. But then, when I want to talk about things that I discovered, things that move me, things that changed my worldview, nobody cares. Nobody wants to listen to it, nobody‘s interested. They will just change the topic or I can see in their faces that they drift off and stop listening, or they suddenly start talking to someone else in the middle of our conversation. And it breaks me every time. I just want somebody to listen. But they never do. And so I isolate myself. I prefer to spent time on my own. I feel less lonely that way. When I‘m on my own at least I can talk to myself and can imagine a whole crowd around me listening. I can imagine my family and friends around me. But the fantasy versions of them listen and don‘t just use me as all the time without giving back the same amount of time, attention and interest that I so willingly give to them.
I just moved to a new city and this is my first time living alone and I'm quite lonely because I don't know anyone yet. So, your timing with this is great!
I often think about how people see the social internet as isolating, which it truly can be, but it also keeps me connected to my matron of honor, who I met in a Nerdfighter Facebook group and have met twice in real life, and we've been able to talk as we both flit around the world through different life stages which is something I wouldn't have been able to experience so intimately even 20 years ago. For that every day, I am grateful.
Loneliness and depression is the craziest thing. You have pinpointed this perfectly. You know you are loved, you just do not feel the love... or anything but pain and emptiness. So very thankful for medication that helps get the chemicals right in my head so I can live a productive happy life.
I would have watched this years ago because I watch most of your videos. Back then me would have watched with moistened eyes because your tone and message are deep and beautiful. Now, the algorithm knows I’ve separated from my wife, and it knows this content holds my attention more. Now I watch this and you speak directly to me, and I convulse in waves of despairing. Surrounded by friends and family who have been amazing in supporting me, I am filling my time with connecting with them. But in the quiet moments, the loneliness screams so loudly
Thanks for always taking your hardest, most vulnerable things, John, and sharing them in a way that helps others. :self care bunny emoji: (Also, I forgot you said your video would be a voiceover and was looking forward to mustache progress, hehe)
There's always something about the cadence in John's voice in these sunset videos that allows me to pull away for a bit, it's like being placed in a meditative state
When I am left home alone, sometimes I get so anxious to where I start to hyperventilate or sob uncontrollably. I have found that when I start to feel that way, I light a candle because the flickering helps me feel like something is in the room is moving and the flame is keeping me company. I also like to sleep with a Lofi Jazz livestream on my phone while I sleep so that if I wake up at anytime of the night and feel lonely, I can roll over and look at the live chat to see that people are still listening. There is also an app called Vent where you can pretty much say anything and people can respond to you which is nice because people are active on there every hour of every day so when I post something at 3 AM I still get a response. I never feel completely better but these things help me feel more comfortable.
I'm in my twenties and sometimes I forget that there's is a hole bunch of life out there and that this feeling is just momentary. I like being alone, but I don't like feeling loneliness.
Good share, John. One thing I've learned is that helping others can bring me out of hopelessness and despair. Sometimes it starts by just offering a smile or a wave, then into helping someone get their cart at the grocery, then to calling a friend to share a story, and then to bigger things like asking for help and sharing my woes, which is scary but, once done, life-changing. As I pull from the hole, I find new beauty that eluded me. And it's abundant! We all feel sadness and grief at some time or another. The trick is not staying there too long. Yes, much needs redress in our world. Kindness helps regardless.
It's a little insane how the things you guys talk about are very similar to what I feel sometimes. I am in my mid 20s, and I'm starting to feel lonely, and I haven't felt like this in a really long time. I just started a new job and I can feel it pulling me away from who I am and who I wanna be. Even though I couldn't hang out as much as I wanted this year, the project for awesome still reminded me of what I like and the things I enjoy. Nerdfighteria has done that for me so many times that I don't even know how to thank you for it.
Being ace seems to add to the loneliness because it's hard to find people who can relate... (and I'm sure the same probably goes for lots of other folks with "unseen" identities)
Coincidentally, for the first time yesterday I felt overwhelming need to finally acknowledge this feeling. I googled this and I read about “Self-isolation” and today this video appears in my subscription. Fate is telling me to not neglect my mental health and be more proactive in improving myself. Thank you Hank
As a 20 something who struggles with self-imposed isolation due to social anxiety, this speaks to me on an incredibly deep level. I think I needed to hear that I'm not alone in my loneliness, but that I also need to work more on fixing it for my own sake.
I've been feeling incredibly lonely ever since February - my birthday. A lot of people whom I thought were close friends forgot about it, or gave me very half-hearted well wishes. A few whom I thought were becoming friends (one of whom invited me to THEIR birthday, ironically) forgot as well. And now that I've got a bit more free time from my job (I teach) almost no one has reached out. This video came at a very appropriate time.
Thank you. This is me. This is us. Its hard. Really hard sometimes. But there is tomorrow, and there is hope to be found. Thank you for again taking the time to connect with this community in such profound ways. I hope you know it makes positive action happen. For me. For us. Safe travels.
Donate to the p4a: projectforawesome.com/donate
If you're concerned about your mental health, please reach out for help. You can reach out to someone you trust and begin the journey with them, or you can call your local crisis hotline. There's also a crisis text line in the US, UK, and Canada: www.crisistextline.org/ Thank you for doing the hard work of getting help. It is worth it, and there is hope. -John
But what do you do when you reach out and no one is there to reach back?
Everyone else in my vicinity is lonely and broken and disconnected as well (I'm a university student).
A drowning man can't save another drowning man.
Despite it all, I make it a point to be there for people - I know how much loneliness hurts - but no one does it for me. No one reaches back.
It feels like we're all forever lost and damned... some just more damned than others.
Thank you for the Crisis Text Line shoutout John, having my video for them featured filled my heart and now it's soaring. They're an amazing resource (and another example of amazing digital community among the volunteers) and I hope that anyone needs that can find it from Crisis Text Line or someone they know
Karishma M. - If there is no one in your group of friends/classmates, then I would highly encourage you to follow John’s example and reach out to a mental healthcare provider. Many universities offer counseling resources for just that reason, and if not, there should be some in your vicinity that a general practitioner or university guidance counselor could refer you to. Your personal support system doesn’t need to begin and end with just your friend group or your immediate family.
@@melissak3885 I have reached out there as well and meet a therapist often enough. But a therapist is different from a friend. And I just feel disconnected sometimes, even when I meet her. Because she is not "my equal" and she can't really help.
She's also very overworked (she's one of the 2 mental health nurses on campus) and it's hard to get to her when having a crisis. Even if o do get to her then, she has little help to offer... because pain is isolating and the prison of consciousness is solitary.
I apologize for the whining and genuinely do appreciate you trying to help out. I wish you well!
@@Karishma_Unspecified hi, as a university student i wanna share something with you. As you said, everybody's depressed and melancholic these days, especially among our peers. Some of them have concrete reasons such as family or relationships problems, unsuccess, financial problems etc but also, most people are sad bc they feel lonely, broken, aimless, or disconnected. I have also experienced all of these problems (and still face sometimes) but when i saw somebody i care about has physical or inner problems, for example my roommate was so sad bc she felt like "a lonely aimless poor in large crowds", i forgot my problems and talked and listened to her for hours. And we cried for minutes without saying anything (normally, i would never cry with anyone). And after a few hours later, we both felt relieved although i didn't even talk about my problems that much. I mean if we, as the members of the society, always try to ease someones pain rather than think about our blind alley troubles all day along, each individual will be able to feel "good" and get some help. Sometimes befriending others can make our troubles less visible in everyday life. These are my current attitudes for my sadness, i hope you feel better soon, my friend.
“recommended for you”
sometimes youtube can be very unsubtle lol
If this catastrofuck of a website tells me to get help I should probably get some pronto lmao
molly is it ever
*Hugs*
Maybe TH-cam knows what you’re going through or you’ve watched videos like these before. That’s my understanding of how TH-cam works for recommended videos.
“The more isolated I felt, the less capable I felt of escaping isolation”
This is video is hitting a little too close to home.
same :'(
*hug*
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This quote. I think I needed to hear this. Thanks, John, for encapsulating what I hadn’t yet figured out how to express apart from, “I miss feeling happy.”
"I wasn't short on connective opportunities, I was just short on connection."
I need to write this one down and stick it on the screens of my digital devices tbh.
*3G signal intensifies*
I relate to this a lot; in fact, this video got me to text somebody that I'd meant to talk to more than I have.
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That one really hit me in a profound way...
Sunset videos narrated by John Green are my favorite. Especially when the narration points out something I relate to so much and makes me feel a little less alone...
Soothing like Bob Ross paintings
It's crazy to see so many people who are feeling the same. It does make one feel less alone...
So are Sunset Narrations the new Thoughts from Places?
The Mad Historian Maybe it’s a subcategory...they do deserve their own though, so we could have more!
there was a sunset? I was so engrossed in listening to him, I paid no mind to the video
Hank videos: butt is leg
John videos: loneliness
This two brothers are polar opposites
They giving me the full range of content I need
🤣🤣🤣 They complement each other so well
Truly what did we all do to deserve these brothers
Hmm interesting. I don't see them as opposites at all.
Ethan Republic except they are the positives in this universe that attract instead of repel.
When I am lonely I remember Bob Ross painting trees and saying "Never paint a lonely tree, even trees need friends". And I think sometimes, the meaning of it can be found in just standing together; sharing your experiences in the world, being with another being
Vinicius Morais This is such a nice comment! It reminds me how some of the nicest days with friends are days when you do something mundane, just witnessing everyday life together.
Bob Ross isn't really known of to me here in Australia, but that quote has near on bought me to tears!
@@fromscratchauntybindy9743 you must get on the know of Bob Ross. He's an angel
@@fromscratchauntybindy9743 You should watch him, he has one entire episode dedicated to a guy he met, who said he couldn't paint cause he was color blind, so Bob Ross made a painting in grey to show that anyone can paint
It's all avaiable on youtube, there is a Bob Ross channel th-cam.com/users/BobRossInc
'treating my chronic health problem like a chronic health problem'
are you telling me that shitposting depression memes on twitter _won't_ fix this?
Christian Hubbard wow I feel so called out
Excuse me, I feel attacked.
oh a whole vibe
Twitter is so bad for mental health. It's like cigarettes but social media
You mean self-depreciation isn't a skill?
Are you kidding me. I just did a whole journal entry called "On Loneliness." The timing...is...woah
Nashiha Ahmed I have a similar story. Wowed by the synchronicity of this video.
Yeah, I mean, I think about my loneliness a few times a day, so it's not a special coincidence to me, but timely nonetheless.
Wow. So did I! @Nashiha. I saw the title of this video and immediately stopped what I was doing to watch it and make sure I wasn't dreaming
just makes you realize how many of us are lonely right now/all the time lately
I always get more lonely as winter sets in. I think that's a pattern some others share (seasonal depression and such).
As a twenty-something currently undergoing therapy, this, like so many other vlogbrothers videos, makes me feel a little less alone.
Thank you, John
Therapy bros.
me too. i feel at ease watching them. much love to you
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This is another video that falls under the “John Green explains me to me” category
what other videos lie under this category?
wait....... this comment just explained me to me
I’ve got a “best of vlogbrothers” playlist on my channel that’s mostly stuff like this
The sunset videos always bring me peace. 2019 was the most stressful year of my life and I so appreciate your reminders that support is always available.
2019 was also the most stressful for me as well. Hopefully 2020 is better for us!
I've spent this entire year blasting "This Year" by the Mountain Goats, and by gum, if this year is going to defeat us, it only has a few weeks left to do it!
2019 was most stressful to me as well
How's 2020 going for you?
@@yyyaaa3928 The pandemic was an improvement, but 2021 seems even better!
A John Talkie! These are always my favorite
This video reminds me of a book I recently read- ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’. It is such a beautifully written story. Recommend it to anyone whose interested in that kinda genre✨
I’m not sure there’s anything more powerful than hearing your pain echoed by someone else. Nothing is lonelier than pain and knowing that I am not the only one experiencing in my case, mental pain has literally saved my life on a number of occasions.
P.S. The excerpts you read from the piece you’re working on were fantastic and moving in a way that I cannot hope to describe.
Could I recommend you the episode "Hawaiian Pizza and Viral Meningitis" from John's podcast "The Anthropocene Reviewed"? I think you'd enjoy the Viral Meningitis part (not the Hawaiian Pizza part heh)
hayk3000 I’m personally partial to Sycamore Trees and Harvey (two separate episodes) , but I know what you’re referring to.
@@mariewikiwaka3851 oh I haven't gotten there yet. Glad you already enjoy John's fantastic podcast!!
hayk3000 I dang love it.
Could you tell me when he read excerpts? I wasn't able to watch more than a few minutes of the p4a livestream this year
(Btw, I'm so sorry you're hurting, and I'm glad this video helped you feel a little less alone. John has a way of putting hard-to-describe thoughts and feelings into beautiful words)
As someone currently in their 20s and going through all of this, this hit a chord. Beautifully written video xx
Rachel, I hope you won't feel that lonely for much longer and you'll have many caring people near you. And I concur, the video was beautifully written.
As someone in her mid 20s going through this as well ...Truly resonated with me .. esp realizing loneliness can be dealt with by being active
Early 20s, and feeling the same!
"Loneliness is a problem i need to address actively."
One can hear the mustache
hahaha it is still present! -John
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tickly
Lmao 😂
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"Communities that are bigger than me, but nonetheless value and include me."
Thanks for summing up an emptiness I have felt but not been able to describe meaningfully in less than a sentence.
My life!!! Didnt know how to use words to explain this
It’s so eerie: I literally just typed “loneliness” in Google because I was feeling a deep sense of loneliness. Then, instead of reading the Google searches, I randomly opened TH-cam and here was the video. It’s like John read all of our minds.
John, I’ve been watching your videos since 2014. I always go back to your “Perspective” video at my lowest. Thank you for giving me another video to go to. Thank you for using your words to reach out a hand to our deepest souls when we feel unreachable. Thank you for your honesty and I wish you only the most meaningful days ahead. ❤️
Sounds like we have similar go-to videos. I hope you're having a good day :)
I used to do that exact same thing! I stopped within the last year and a half because the thing is, I'm kinda okay. Not loudly happy, not even free of mental illness. It's just that I never feel as dark as I used to anymore. The Harvey effect will come for you❤
Hey, if you love John's 'Perspective' video I'm sure you'll like his podcast, The Anthropocene Reviewed. One of the episodes covers the same story as Perspective, but it's more essayistic and incredibly moving. The ep is called Velociraptors and Harvey, it's one of my favourites.
@@sams1982 Ohh yes seconded, The Anthropocene Reviewed is one of my favourite media things ever. So thoughtful and great and calming and really gives you that feeling of not being alone. Recommend!!
@Kaumudi H its so boring...
Thank you, I really needed this today.
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Wow. "I sometimes feel as if my life is just circling its own misery, like a vulture over a carcass." That really resonates with me. I had just been calling it "being in the habit of unhappiness," but that statement is much more accurate and visceral.
This is such an eloquent summation. I like to put it like this. Mental illness is especially pernicious because it's a closed loop, it rarely sees itself for what it is, and the deeper you're in it, the more tunneled your vision becomes. You forget all of the good times and the death goggles just tighten ever harder around your head like a Chinese finger trap. You can't see a way out, you can't focus enough to seek the help that you need, and you can't imagine it could possibly help you anyway. It's like despair goggles that entrap you in a very negative positive feedback loop. I made a mistake in my despair once. And it has literally scarred me for life, I am reminded of it every breath that I take. Get help. It's worth a shot. Of course it is.
It is a wonder that so many of us feel lonelyness and disconnection in such a similar way, and the tools to fight it are blindly obvious though always seem just out of reach. Thanks for making this trip just a little easier.
2019 has been one of the toughest years for me. When I felt isolated I would turn to TH-cam to feel that human connection and it never seemed to fail me. The Vlogbrothers have been there for me for years through some really tough times. But lately even the people I love can’t seem to help and I’ve been feeling more and more hopeless.
Thank you John for the reminder that the problem isn’t surface level and there is professional help out there.
Emma Cummings sorry to hear you are going through this hope you’re get the help you deserve
Honestly Emma, I felt the same. I discovered John and Hank's videos this year and a lot of them really helped me put things into perspective.
GMM has been that for me - fun content with no real bias.
it does, however, deepen my feelings of loneliness since i can only dream of a friendship like that.
Feeling the same here. *Hug
That is so brave of you to express and share your emotions in such a way. Please continue to do so as that is how genuine human connection is built. Go ahead, be vulnerable, say what you feel, express your emotions, both positive and negative as they are all trying to talk to us in some way. Most of all, believe in yourself.
Sometimes music speaks to us in ways we dont have words for, if you have got the time, check this one out;
Ocean by John Butler.
It was there in moments where I felt most alone.
It had also been there with me in moments where I felt most alive.
Actually I'm more often lonely when I'm not alone...
Pat Black I often feel the same way. Sometimes I intentionally or unintentionally distance myself from others, because the loneliness is less overwhelming and far less painful when I choose to be alone.
I guess this is correct because isolation is a mental state of being rather than physical. When I was still severely suicidal, I would be surrounded by friends. I was laughing with them and getting hugs but they were always (emotionally) kilometers away from them.
Pat Black Loneliness isn’t being distant from people. Loneliness is being surrounded by people you can’t be vulnerable with.
Oof this hit me hard
I often feel more alone in a room full of people than I do by myself.
“Although I am a very introverted person, for me, feelings of meaning and purpose flow from the experience of deep connectedness”
Couldn’t agree more. In high school I imagine my perspective was a lot like yours (think Whispering episode of Anthropocene Reviewed), but when I got to college a few years ago, that loss of forced community meant that the ironic lens through which I previously viewed the world left me with a big sense of meaninglessness and loneliness, which is something I’ve been working on. Thanks for making these videos John, and for always making me feel a little less alone.
Donate to p4a!!
Thank you John, I needed to hear this. From a lonely guy in his mid 20’s.
Feels good to know I'm.not alone
I can't tell you how much I needed this video. I am in my mid 20s and I have been in the middle of that desperate loneliness this entire year. Thank you for continuing to address these feelings even though you are in a better mental place. It is so easy to forget pain when you are not experiencing it.
I’m 20, I didn’t go to university and all of my friends did. They’ve all gone and made new friends and I’m sort of left behind. This video couldn’t have come at a better time, because right now I’m feeling incredibly lonely.
“There is help and there is hope.” ❤️
Watching this in August 2020, and this video is perfect to how we all felt/are feeling in the first half of this year.
"Feeling isolated made me feel unworthy of love which made me feel more isolated." This is hitting hard for me.
As someone in their early 20’s going through this, I really needed to hear this today. Having someone put my, often times, indescribable feelings into words makes me feel grateful that others can share their experiences candidly while giving validation to my own. Thank you - I truly feel a little less alone.
So damn true, he nailed the exact feelings and thoughts I've been having.
It's regularly trotted out that loneliness is something the elderly are prone to, but the sheer number of people in their 20s here (myself included) who are breathtakingly lonely is food for thought.
I went through a really bad period of loneliness and isolation last semester, to the point where I would be sitting in a room full of people I know and care about and still feel distant and depressed.
I eventually got through it by getting out more and hanging out with some people I hadn’t hung out with as much and I also just went home and was surrounded by those who I loved and cared for unconditionally and who reciprocated my love
Your video encapsulated exactly what I was feeling during that period and I wish I had this video and the resources then. Thanks John, never stop being awesome
good for.. you!
I'm currently in one of the worst depressive episodes in my life and also my dad is currently in North Carolina for work. This video hits so close to home. And your words mean so much. Thank you❤
I hope it gets easier soon!
@@okayheykae you are so kind! Thank you! ❤
Thanks for this one, John. It hits pretty close to home, but it's nice to hear that others go through the same.
Everytime I listen to this it just brings me to tears, it hits so close to home.
I’ve moved out for the first time and am living over a thousand miles from home. I’m living in community but struggle to feel connection. Struggling to feel known. Thanks for this video, John. I needed to know I don’t feel this feeling alone.
Cylese Davidson You’re so brave for stepping out on your own! Peace and love to you while you do the hard work of forming those new connections ❤️
You arent a thousand miles from home anymore, where you live is your home now.
Catherine Case thank you so much!!
Dusty that’s true. That’s really true.
I had the same problem once. Felt uprooted and so on. But slowly, I did find a new way through all of that difficulty. It wasn't the easiest thing, but it can be achieved. I hope that, no matter what life throws at you, you'll have no shortage of at least a few good, caring people in your life. Wherever you live.
Even though he won't see this..
I'm glad that John really talked about this..
I was really really looking for this.. *thank you* John...
A lot of these this that you are talking about are hitting really close to home...
I didn't realize I HAD the things I do until lately... I just thought It was something I had done and that I deserved whatever I was feeling, even though I really didn't know why..
I just recently discovered that it was, indeed Deppression, and anxiety and a whole bunch of other things that go along with those, like eating disorders.. I wasn't ever hungry...
And when I realized that these were what they were I didn't feel like anyone would care, because I had felt like I deserved the feeling of being alone..
So, I AM going to try and work through this.. as best I can..
Digital hug. I sincerely hope and believe things get better. You deserve to be loved and things can get better
@@wiet111 thank you. It really means a lot :')
I have found that simply surrounding myself with many people when I am lonely just makes me feel worse. Being around people and not having a connection with them is almost worst than not being around anyone. Once you are in the hole of loneliness, the harder it is to get out.
Thank you for this video John.
This is definitely how I feel, a little while ago I even intentionally distanced myself from my friends, because choosing to be alone was far less painful than being surrounded by friends and still lonely
Especially when you’re an introvert just being around people is not helpful. It’s far more productive to be around one person you care about without even talking than it is to be around 1,000 people all talking to you at the same time.
TH-cam heard my silent screams and recommended this gem to me again. Thanks John and TH-cam.
The p4a always reminds me that this community, that I found as a teenager, is even more important and formative to me now as a grown woman. It's a wonderful kind of shared values and I'm very grateful for this space, in its many forms it has taken during this 12 years. I am less lonely (metaphorically and literally, I found many friends here) because of this community, which makes me think many things are worth it. Thanks, as usual.
Knowing that there are other people out there that also feel isolated-even extremely accomplished individuals-makes me feel less alone and more motivated to break my isolationist tendencies. It's crazy just how superficial society can be and how alone one can feel even though most of us rarely look up from the super computer that can connect us to anyone within seconds in our pockets. Thank you, John.
I could listen to a 30 min podcast episode on this. Thank you John for bringing up something that is difficult, but much needed to be addressed. I never comment on videos, but this was so relatable I wish I could hear more
I hope you are listening to the Anthropocene Reviewed. Its my favorite of Johns projects.
@@bluemurf I'll be sure to take a look!
Strange how much I can relate to this video. It is almost exactly what I'm feeling at the moment, from the existential sorrow to the dread of not calling people, to the feelings of meaninglessness in daily interactions. Weird how people in such vastly different outward situations can share so many of the same internal experiences. Hearing this has been very cathartic and gives me hope to keep going on. Thank you.
I don’t know if you’ve read the email I sent about baby Hazel, but I’ve been so grateful for this weird community & the seemingly endless backlog of content from you and Hank - it has filled the quiet lonely moments of motherhood while my husband has been deployed. Thank you, thank you.
And the p4a was the right amount of silliness, community, and purpose that I needed after a tough week. It was my first one to take part in, and I’m already looking forward to the next!
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I’ve never felt a true connection to any of the friends I’ve made in high school. As a senior starting her last semester of school in a tiny town, I feel sort of “what is the point” because no one so far has ever truly understood me, and it’s a lot of work to make friends, and I’m moving away soon anyway. But then I look around at myself, losing my passions, trudging through classes I don’t enjoy anymore, feeling ignored and small, and I know I can’t stay like this. I wish that the climbing out of the hole didn’t take so much arm strength, though. I wish I didn’t feel so lonely right now.
Thank you, John! I recently decided to take my happiness seriously. I had not noticed that I had stopped doing that, but for many years now my decisions had been about succeeding (just avarage, first studying, then learning how to do my job). It felt like that was necessary for my survival, but now I feel like my happiness is a question of survival. So I am taking a break, and getting the dog I always dreamt of, but also beyond that, I hope I will remember that I have to be happy in order to survive. Not every decision has to be rational.
When i was an exchange student in the us, felt more lonely than ever. Watching vlogbrothers helped ground me in familiarity. I watched every video from the begining, and by the time i reached the last uploaded video at the time i was in a good place with friends and felt comfortable in my host family, i was less lonely.
Thank you.
As someone who has often felt quite similarly and has accepted that my life, if long, will likely contain many such periods of falling into that chasm of despair... thanks, John. Your openness with your mental health struggles inspires me greatly. Thank you for the frequent reminders that with help, patience, and a little determination, we're going to make it through this.
also: that sunset is unreal in its beauty. I'm glad you got to witness it. :D
Wow, True words spoken. I recently had a breakdown at work. I’m not one to be emotional or cry but I broke down. All of theses smaller issues hit me like a brick wall at once. I like being alone but I ended up feeling lonely. I know where you’re coming from I’m an introvert. My work set me up with some help I’m on A journey to get better.
2019 was hard in a lot of ways. I felt constantly lonely, even throughout most of my relationship, which I think ultimately lead to its end. Feeling lonely when you’re surrounded by people is almost harder, because there’s all this guilt behind how you “should” be feeling. But it’s good to know that we aren’t alone, even when we feel like we are. Thanks John
Still come back to this now and again.
"Feelings of meaning and purpose flow from the experience of deep connectedness, of being part of communities that are bigger than me, but nonetheless value and include me"
That was probably what hit home most for me.
"Hope is the correct answer" has become my life motto. I share it with anyone who'll listen.
Truer words were never spoken. Hank, I'll see you on Friday.
I’ve been dealing with loneliness for so long that I find it impossible to encapsulate and describe what it is to me. I have an appointment with a professional to help me, but man it’s just been so rough. I feel stupid, slow, disconnected, and passionless. A lot of the feelings people describe about loneliness I don’t even feel anymore, I felt them when it first started but now I’m just dull, my brain feels dull. I had a couple of panic attacks due to it a while ago which were extremely painful. I hope this professional works because it’s just hard. I can’t even say I’ve had enough, because I’ve already said that so many times and it didn’t matter, I just hope I can find a good life.
I hope that isolation has not haunted you too much this year, John.
and I hope these cycles may be broken for all of those who have been entangled by loneliness this year.
May we all seek and find connection.
Me: I'm feeling a thing.
Others: Describe the thing.
Me: It is IMPOSSIBLE to describe in words, it CANNOT be succinctly summarized, it... oh never mind John Green put it in words for me.
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This video reminded my how mental lonliness can feel so much greater than physical lonliness. I recently moved from America to Dublin to start uni, and I have felt the least lonely in a while, even as I’m thousands of miles away from my family. Thank you for consistently reminding us about how important consistently caring for your mental health is.
Thank you, I'm planning on sending this to one of my friends who is having a rough time, and I think the thoughts it expresses might help her.
People constantly ask what depression is like and I can never give them an adequate answer. This is the best I’ve seen it described and I felt so seen watching this video.
Also a tad disappointed we didn’t get to see Johns mustache today. :)
The P4A makes me feel valued and included and excited every year, John. Thank you for your dedication to do good in the world, and thank you for including us in your efforts to do good. DFTBA
I'm just gonna post this here because I've already sent two things to my uni love letters page. I've been dealing with loneliness recently and one thing I've realised is that it puts you in a no win scenario. I'm lonely because people don't reach out to me, and because they don't respond to me reaching out to them. And the forces you to take one of two positions; either I'm lonely because I suck and no one wants to hang out with me, or I'm lonely because everyone else sucks and they just can't appreciate me. And neither of those are healthy states of mind. I swing between those two sometimes.
Joseph Corridon I feel that so hard. I became so isolated in college bc of that pattern you describe.
But I think it’s more accurate to assume everybody is going through their own Stuff, and most people can get overwhelmed with life. Developing long lasting connections seems to be a social problem these days; it’s not that you suck or I suck or other people suck, but more so the conditions of society are challenging.
Hope you find some support soon. I’m hoping I can as well.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (Death: The Final Stage of Growth, 1975)
AVICI01 en
So, I know it's been quite a while since this video, but I was a listener of the podcast before I started watching vlogbrothers, and am gradually watching all the videos as they come up on my recommended page. This one came up for me today, and it was very much what I needed -- to know that someone I look up to went through a period in their mid-twenties like I am now, and that they got through it, and that I can too. So thank you for all that you do.
me: *feels lonely*
iPhone notification: “new from vlogbrothers: on loneliness”
me: CLICKS ON IT AS FAST AS POSSIBLE
Fucking same
There is nothing worse than feeling lonely when surrounded by others. This weekend watching the P4A I started to cry out of no where and then realized how deeply alone I’ve felt for so long and how connected I felt in that moment. The feeling of connection, hope, love for humanity, and the cold currently have are making me overly emotional.
Always down for sunsets. And thoughts on loneliness.
same!
One of the most poignant videos I’ve seen. I’ve been through this isolation before, unveiling the depression that was probably already there. So thank you, John, for putting this unfortunately common experience into beautiful words.
John, you always come through at the times I need it the most. Every time you make one of these talks it brings me back to the feeling of being completely understood and connected like when I first discovered you guys in 2013. Thank you for helping me feel safe and heard all these years, and here’s to celebrating another amazing year of P4A!
I‘m in my early twenties now and I‘m doing exactly that. Isolating myself. But it‘s because I just feel so used by everyone around me.
I‘m a terrific listener. It‘s probably my biggest strength. I listen to people, friends, family, for hours and hours as they talk to me about their interests, things that happened in their lives, things that move them. And I find it fascinating.
But then, when I want to talk about things that I discovered, things that move me, things that changed my worldview, nobody cares. Nobody wants to listen to it, nobody‘s interested.
They will just change the topic or I can see in their faces that they drift off and stop listening, or they suddenly start talking to someone else in the middle of our conversation. And it breaks me every time. I just want somebody to listen. But they never do.
And so I isolate myself. I prefer to spent time on my own. I feel less lonely that way. When I‘m on my own at least I can talk to myself and can imagine a whole crowd around me listening. I can imagine my family and friends around me. But the fantasy versions of them listen and don‘t just use me as all the time without giving back the same amount of time, attention and interest that I so willingly give to them.
Whenever there's a sunset or other non-John visual, you know it's gonna be a good one.
...Or that he doesn't want to appear on camera with a mustache. But also that it's going to be a good one.
That background there. Man What an awesome sunset
I just moved to a new city and this is my first time living alone and I'm quite lonely because I don't know anyone yet.
So, your timing with this is great!
Christina Best of luck in your new community! Moving is so hard, but I hope you find a few fun spots and a few fun people to make it easier ❤️
Same here! I've been starting to struggle more and more but I believe in us! We will get over the loneliness!
@@catherinecase1142 thank you!
@@katiekronz3250 yes! That's the right attitude!
I decided to rewatch this video today and... yeah. I need this now more than I could've possibly imagined eight months ago. Thanks John
I listened to this till the end and the whole way I was asking myself "where will my relateability stop?" And it didn't till the end.
I often think about how people see the social internet as isolating, which it truly can be, but it also keeps me connected to my matron of honor, who I met in a Nerdfighter Facebook group and have met twice in real life, and we've been able to talk as we both flit around the world through different life stages which is something I wouldn't have been able to experience so intimately even 20 years ago. For that every day, I am grateful.
I think I'm going to be lonely soon, so that's a video and message I needed and I try to build the connections I need
Loneliness and depression is the craziest thing. You have pinpointed this perfectly. You know you are loved, you just do not feel the love... or anything but pain and emptiness. So very thankful for medication that helps get the chemicals right in my head so I can live a productive happy life.
I saw this in my recommendeds and thought “yup that’s a john video”
I would have watched this years ago because I watch most of your videos. Back then me would have watched with moistened eyes because your tone and message are deep and beautiful. Now, the algorithm knows I’ve separated from my wife, and it knows this content holds my attention more. Now I watch this and you speak directly to me, and I convulse in waves of despairing. Surrounded by friends and family who have been amazing in supporting me, I am filling my time with connecting with them. But in the quiet moments, the loneliness screams so loudly
The world feels like a better place when these don't have any dislikes yet.
The ratio is still amazing. :( I hope that one person gets the help they need.
0:55 "the more isolated I felt, the less capable i felt of escaping isolation" damn that is all too relatable
Thanks for always taking your hardest, most vulnerable things, John, and sharing them in a way that helps others. :self care bunny emoji:
(Also, I forgot you said your video would be a voiceover and was looking forward to mustache progress, hehe)
There's always something about the cadence in John's voice in these sunset videos that allows me to pull away for a bit, it's like being placed in a meditative state
I relate so much to this 😭😭 thank you so much John, really needed this ❤️❤️
When I am left home alone, sometimes I get so anxious to where I start to hyperventilate or sob uncontrollably. I have found that when I start to feel that way, I light a candle because the flickering helps me feel like something is in the room is moving and the flame is keeping me company. I also like to sleep with a Lofi Jazz livestream on my phone while I sleep so that if I wake up at anytime of the night and feel lonely, I can roll over and look at the live chat to see that people are still listening. There is also an app called Vent where you can pretty much say anything and people can respond to you which is nice because people are active on there every hour of every day so when I post something at 3 AM I still get a response. I never feel completely better but these things help me feel more comfortable.
I'm in my twenties and sometimes I forget that there's is a hole bunch of life out there and that this feeling is just momentary.
I like being alone, but I don't like feeling loneliness.
Good share, John. One thing I've learned is that helping others can bring me out of hopelessness and despair. Sometimes it starts by just offering a smile or a wave, then into helping someone get their cart at the grocery, then to calling a friend to share a story, and then to bigger things like asking for help and sharing my woes, which is scary but, once done, life-changing. As I pull from the hole, I find new beauty that eluded me. And it's abundant!
We all feel sadness and grief at some time or another. The trick is not staying there too long. Yes, much needs redress in our world. Kindness helps regardless.
I got my annual digital download bundle!
It's a little insane how the things you guys talk about are very similar to what I feel sometimes. I am in my mid 20s, and I'm starting to feel lonely, and I haven't felt like this in a really long time. I just started a new job and I can feel it pulling me away from who I am and who I wanna be. Even though I couldn't hang out as much as I wanted this year, the project for awesome still reminded me of what I like and the things I enjoy. Nerdfighteria has done that for me so many times that I don't even know how to thank you for it.
The comparison to a vulture was really good.
Being ace seems to add to the loneliness because it's hard to find people who can relate... (and I'm sure the same probably goes for lots of other folks with "unseen" identities)
Coincidentally, for the first time yesterday I felt overwhelming need to finally acknowledge this feeling. I googled this and I read about “Self-isolation” and today this video appears in my subscription. Fate is telling me to not neglect my mental health and be more proactive in improving myself. Thank you Hank
Last time I was this early, Colin was still dating Katherine VI
I am in love with is comment
As a 20 something who struggles with self-imposed isolation due to social anxiety, this speaks to me on an incredibly deep level. I think I needed to hear that I'm not alone in my loneliness, but that I also need to work more on fixing it for my own sake.
Whenever people say “there is help” I die a little inside
I've been feeling incredibly lonely ever since February - my birthday. A lot of people whom I thought were close friends forgot about it, or gave me very half-hearted well wishes. A few whom I thought were becoming friends (one of whom invited me to THEIR birthday, ironically) forgot as well.
And now that I've got a bit more free time from my job (I teach) almost no one has reached out.
This video came at a very appropriate time.
The only one of us who is alone here is the one dislike lol ❤️❤️
Thank you. This is me. This is us. Its hard. Really hard sometimes. But there is tomorrow, and there is hope to be found.
Thank you for again taking the time to connect with this community in such profound ways. I hope you know it makes positive action happen. For me. For us.
Safe travels.