My mother had crazy body hygiene dysmorphia and used to shaved off all her hair and never left the house without a full face of makeup. I can’t leave the house without showering, putting on cologne, drying my clothes with extra dryer sheets, and doing anything else to make me as clean as humanly possible. She used to tell me that people are constantly judging you, everyone is out to get you and talk behind you back about your appearance and hygiene.
No darling I promise people don't have enough free time to judge especially these days most people are busy staring their phones.and who cares if people judges you they are human just like us.
I wish my parents would've gone to therapy for their issues before having me because now i get my own baggage plus theres to deal with as an adult because as it turns out, bottling your 💩 up and pretending that it doesnt exist only makes things worse. Who wouldve guessed. (my dad has autism, my mom has cptsd, anxiety, depression and an ED... Its a mess but they dont believe in therapy so i get to cope with their toxicity-- moreso my moms than my dad. I pity my dad.)
Well if you're an adult you know that you can add some distance between you and your parents and you also have the ability to go to therapy to help yourself. You can break the cycle. Btw if you're parents are open to it you can try to convince them to go to therapy 😇.
@@jclyntoledo lmao if only it were that easy. They don't believe in therapy, especially my mom who will call you soft if you call out her bad behavior. Therapy for me would be one thing, but my health insurance is shit, and it's $350 a session with a $7k deductible. That's my grocery bill and any savings I might've been able to put away. It is what it is, but that doesn't mean it's fine.
Great! I work so hard to help my kids not having my fears and traumas but this made me feel like im some sort of bad parent for having cptsd. I can't help how my body reacts to situations and trigger and now im even more burdened with the thought of damaging my kids no matter what i do!
My mom was so nervous in public and had few friends and I picked up on that. I went everywhere with her as a teenager and young adult. I felt like I was her security blanket. She just seemed to be more confident when I went with her and I had a blast with her. I miss her and wouldn't give up that time with her for nothing. I then learned later that she witnessed her dad throw her mom out of the house with no clothes on; her parents were both alcoholics. They were the 'shame' of the town. I love my mom and have great empathy for her. Now she's gone and I miss being her little security blanket.
We all need to have more empathy and walk in their shoes and try to understand better. We are all human and we all hurt and we all make mistakes. The key is understanding and having empathy for others and for ourselves. ❤.
@JulieWhite-gt9le Thank you for sharing that with me. It seems your mum was going through a tough time. I'm in a position where I fully understand that feeling of needing your comfort blanket (my partner is mine) the comfort and security of having someone you love with you during incredibly hard times is like a gift from heaven. It's not only hard to cope with it all every day, but it's embarrassment as well to not be able to live your life the way you want. I feel like a burden, I want so desperately to not be in my situation but unfortunately I fear it's getting worse. I've experienced almost every kind of abuse as a child and my brain is mush. This video kinda made me feel hopeless. I give every minute of my day genuinely trying to make better decisions for my girls.
I knew my fears were, for the most part, irrational, so I worked hard to make sure I never held my children back from experiencing life just because I was scared
My mom was so worried about passing on her fear of heights shenput so much effort in making sure were didnt become afraid of heights me and sibs have 0 fear 😂
I was able to overcome the hypervigilance through my childhood by avoiding my triggers. But, when we moved to the city I wasn't able to cope the way I had learned. Still can't.
I wouldn't mind my child playing in the streets if people didn't drive 50 mph right outside our house all the time. In fact, he's almost been run over before, but luckily he's okay. People are disgusting and will not stop or even slow down if they see a child in the road.
Our street was very dangerous and my mom always made it clear It was that particular street and let us play in the street at friends' houses in the street if theirs was safe
Is it possible for a parent to pass on their eating disorder to their child even if their child never saw their parent actively engaging in their ED? My mom was bulimic, and as far as I know I never witnessed her purging, and my ED began when I was a teen. My mom was super controlling about food, and I started eating in secret and then taking a bunch of laxatives. I also bought appetite suppressants that likely had ephedrine in them. I tried to make myself purge but never could manage it. But I also alternated between binge and restrict too.
Even if you never witnessed her purge thi g about the way she talked about and interacted with food and eating i bet if you think back from an adult perspective. Espnif you have gotten ed specific therepy you will notice a lot of unhealthy stuff you took in
So as a daughter and a parent, I wonder… Since we all experienced trauma at some point in our childhood… Exactly how is it? We are not supposed to pass on this trauma? Most of us didn’t grow up going to counseling every week…. We’re going to counseling now to try to assess the damage of what’s been done in our lives to us and try to figure out where it is we could’ve made different choices… Or if in some situations we really didn’t have a choice… Like many women
it doesn't damage the DNA itself, it just changes which parts of your DNA are activated aka epigenetics. Each one of your cells has a copy of your genetic code, so if what you're saying is true then every cell in your body would need to be damaged simultaneously.
@@TheSetoking Well, that makes me glad I never had children to pass on my trauma to. I work as an early childhood educator. I sure hope my trauma is not rubbing off on them.
@TheSetoking feel free to reread the comment. I didn't say it damages your DNA. I said it damages your cells. Trauma damages cells just as stress does, though often to a greater extent. Trauma negatively impacts the hippocampus, dendrites, and telomeres. Damage to these crucial parts of the body is information that is stored in the DNA and passed on to children as a function of evolution. It is very fascinating and easy to understand science. I encourage you to look into studies on the children of survivors of the holocaust, famine, and 9/11
I look at pictures of my parents when I was a child and they both look fine so the excuses can stop. Divorce should never be option when there is abuse. God can heal because God is not a man that he should lie.
Wow. What a horrible person you are. You want people to be stuck being beaten daily instead of leaving?? And “the pictures look fine”? What?!? Has no one ever told you abusers aim their blows where they won’t be seen? Of course the pictures look fine. You are a horrible person. I hope you know that.
Abuse is the gift that keeps giving. 100% learned, sadly.
My mother had crazy body hygiene dysmorphia and used to shaved off all her hair and never left the house without a full face of makeup. I can’t leave the house without showering, putting on cologne, drying my clothes with extra dryer sheets, and doing anything else to make me as clean as humanly possible. She used to tell me that people are constantly judging you, everyone is out to get you and talk behind you back about your appearance and hygiene.
No darling I promise people don't have enough free time to judge especially these days most people are busy staring their phones.and who cares if people judges you they are human just like us.
I wish my parents would've gone to therapy for their issues before having me because now i get my own baggage plus theres to deal with as an adult because as it turns out, bottling your 💩 up and pretending that it doesnt exist only makes things worse. Who wouldve guessed.
(my dad has autism, my mom has cptsd, anxiety, depression and an ED... Its a mess but they dont believe in therapy so i get to cope with their toxicity-- moreso my moms than my dad. I pity my dad.)
Well if you're an adult you know that you can add some distance between you and your parents and you also have the ability to go to therapy to help yourself. You can break the cycle.
Btw if you're parents are open to it you can try to convince them to go to therapy 😇.
@@jclyntoledo lmao if only it were that easy. They don't believe in therapy, especially my mom who will call you soft if you call out her bad behavior.
Therapy for me would be one thing, but my health insurance is shit, and it's $350 a session with a $7k deductible. That's my grocery bill and any savings I might've been able to put away. It is what it is, but that doesn't mean it's fine.
Great! I work so hard to help my kids not having my fears and traumas but this made me feel like im some sort of bad parent for having cptsd. I can't help how my body reacts to situations and trigger and now im even more burdened with the thought of damaging my kids no matter what i do!
My mom was so nervous in public and had few friends and I picked up on that. I went everywhere with her as a teenager and young adult. I felt like I was her security blanket. She just seemed to be more confident when I went with her and I had a blast with her. I miss her and wouldn't give up that time with her for nothing. I then learned later that she witnessed her dad throw her mom out of the house with no clothes on; her parents were both alcoholics. They were the 'shame' of the town. I love my mom and have great empathy for her. Now she's gone and I miss being her little security blanket.
We all need to have more empathy and walk in their shoes and try to understand better. We are all human and we all hurt and we all make mistakes. The key is understanding and having empathy for others and for ourselves. ❤.
@JulieWhite-gt9le Thank you for sharing that with me. It seems your mum was going through a tough time. I'm in a position where I fully understand that feeling of needing your comfort blanket (my partner is mine) the comfort and security of having someone you love with you during incredibly hard times is like a gift from heaven.
It's not only hard to cope with it all every day, but it's embarrassment as well to not be able to live your life the way you want. I feel like a burden, I want so desperately to not be in my situation but unfortunately I fear it's getting worse.
I've experienced almost every kind of abuse as a child and my brain is mush. This video kinda made me feel hopeless. I give every minute of my day genuinely trying to make better decisions for my girls.
You have to forgive yourself and not over stress yourself. You deserve that ❤
@@Angellightrose Thank you for taking the time to read and reply 🙏 I'm working on it.
I knew my fears were, for the most part, irrational, so I worked hard to make sure I never held my children back from experiencing life just because I was scared
I was given the MAOA gene by my parents. They had violent rage and did awful things to me. Now I struggle too 😢
We can’t expect our parents to be literally perfect…
My mom was so worried about passing on her fear of heights shenput so much effort in making sure were didnt become afraid of heights me and sibs have 0 fear 😂
I was able to overcome the hypervigilance through my childhood by avoiding my triggers. But, when we moved to the city I wasn't able to cope the way I had learned. Still can't.
I wouldn't mind my child playing in the streets if people didn't drive 50 mph right outside our house all the time. In fact, he's almost been run over before, but luckily he's okay. People are disgusting and will not stop or even slow down if they see a child in the road.
Our street was very dangerous and my mom always made it clear It was that particular street and let us play in the street at friends' houses in the street if theirs was safe
Is it possible for a parent to pass on their eating disorder to their child even if their child never saw their parent actively engaging in their ED? My mom was bulimic, and as far as I know I never witnessed her purging, and my ED began when I was a teen. My mom was super controlling about food, and I started eating in secret and then taking a bunch of laxatives. I also bought appetite suppressants that likely had ephedrine in them. I tried to make myself purge but never could manage it. But I also alternated between binge and restrict too.
@shenandoah1322 Yes. Parents being controlling about food (or over controlling about anything) is a major contributor to developing an ED
Even if you never witnessed her purge thi g about the way she talked about and interacted with food and eating i bet if you think back from an adult perspective. Espnif you have gotten ed specific therepy you will notice a lot of unhealthy stuff you took in
Yes it absolutely can.
yup my dad did not want take risk opening a restaurant, my mom did , no he wish he did , but it is too late
Very true
So as a daughter and a parent, I wonder… Since we all experienced trauma at some point in our childhood… Exactly how is it? We are not supposed to pass on this trauma? Most of us didn’t grow up going to counseling every week…. We’re going to counseling now to try to assess the damage of what’s been done in our lives to us and try to figure out where it is we could’ve made different choices… Or if in some situations we really didn’t have a choice… Like many women
Our generational karmic imprint. Through love and forgiveness we can drop it.
My grandma turned me into a worry wart
It is also passed through DNA. Trauma damages your cells and that is passed on to offspring
it doesn't damage the DNA itself, it just changes which parts of your DNA are activated aka epigenetics. Each one of your cells has a copy of your genetic code, so if what you're saying is true then every cell in your body would need to be damaged simultaneously.
@@TheSetoking Well, that makes me glad I never had children to pass on my trauma to. I work as an early childhood educator. I sure hope my trauma is not rubbing off on them.
no trauma cannot damage cells
@TheSetoking feel free to reread the comment. I didn't say it damages your DNA. I said it damages your cells. Trauma damages cells just as stress does, though often to a greater extent. Trauma negatively impacts the hippocampus, dendrites, and telomeres. Damage to these crucial parts of the body is information that is stored in the DNA and passed on to children as a function of evolution. It is very fascinating and easy to understand science. I encourage you to look into studies on the children of survivors of the holocaust, famine, and 9/11
from which episode is this from i want to watch the wholething
I didn't need this today.......
All the isolation pls...
Confused about this. Always saw childhood as happy but poor. Wondered where my anxiety and poor self-image came from and is sustained by.
Social learning
100% 👍
💯 on 🎯?
Can u help me
Oh..
I look at pictures of my parents when I was a child and they both look fine so the excuses can stop. Divorce should never be option when there is abuse. God can heal because God is not a man that he should lie.
? WHAT?
Ma'am what are you talking about? There is little context
Wow. What a horrible person you are. You want people to be stuck being beaten daily instead of leaving??
And “the pictures look fine”? What?!? Has no one ever told you abusers aim their blows where they won’t be seen? Of course the pictures look fine.
You are a horrible person. I hope you know that.
If this isn’t a bot, you should call 911/ you’re having a stroke