Women convince each other that if their man tries to hold them even vaguely accountable for their actions then he's a controlling gaslighting narcissist. Once that seed of an idea is planted it will grow and grow.
This BS attitude is in every aspect of our Society . People don't know how to apologize , if you have a complaint , you are automatically labeled a trouble maker . That art of conversation is almost gone .
@@LastSaturday09 Stop it.........this is exactly the type of mind controlled rhetoric that's been fed to us for decades that has led us to the point this commentor is making. "You're not on MY team, you're evil!" It's called othering, and it was going on long before Trump came on the scene. Congratulations, you're the kind of useless 1d10t Stalin dreamed about. Not even sure why you felt the need to make this political other than your worldview is completely through a political spectrum. Maybe next time let's stay on point and in context.
What really started it was when people treated appliances as disposable. Instead of fixing an appliance, people just throw it away and get new one. TV shows played a role in this too. People don't understand what they watch and listen too influences their decision making.
@John-Jay-Allen Spot-on. And you probably save hundreds, if not thousands of dollars a year by doing that. The price of a damned oil change is almost a hundred bucks!
Way too easy to find someone else who is easier nowadays... Social media and instant gratification play a big part in that. Simps can get what they want simply by just talking to a girl nowadays!! Girls get what they want, cuz they are girls!!😂 People are too lazy to work for what they need and only want things that are easy. Its too much effort to keep something when you can just buy new!!😂😂 Lots of immaturity running around out there!!😂 Just gave up on another one myself... She likes to give her number away to tall guys who simply ask for it, right in front of me! Meanwhile it takes hard work to be a real man, and often goes unrecognized nowadays. Once my trust is broken its over...I dont compete with other guys whatsoever!! Another one whos addicted to her phone and easy attention. Junk food, smoking, drinking and easy fun is what rules society... Where are all the REAL women at!???😂 All i get is used up divorcees and hoe bags with a buncha kids from other dudes!!!😂 Life is hard enough without having to compete with tests and evey other dude in their life anyways... Sad really... But im fine with peace and quiet anyways... Drama free and independence!!🎉 Me and my doggie! 🐕
trying to work out anything with one of these entitled children, posing as adult women, is impossible. im 59, and have learned just leaving, is your best option, every time.
Amen brother! I went back when I knew better, only delaying the inevitable, she was buying time to stay in the house as long as possible, got played, you live and you learn.
What people forget is the person we're with was our choice. 100% agree. We need to find balance within ourselves first and not blame the other person for our issues. Today, we're a disposable, intolerant society that walks away first. Family units are suffering because of this, especially the children.
This is a another geat comment, but it shares the main point of other great comments here - people are NOT disposable except the current paradigm has made them seem like they are or can be just 'disposable.'
Because unfortinately, when shit hits the fan, even the great women common sense advocates like Sara shift back to the female herd metality of avoiding accountablility... because it's their base or "factory" setting.
If you have to actually work to get a relationship you won't leave it quickly. The problem is most relationships now days begin frivolously. Disposable from the beginning
Agree totally. Its an absolute tragedy that we are loosing the capacity to have dialog and that's simply based on personal interest. Thanks for sharing. You bring me hope, I need it.
So true, my grandparents were married for sixty years, lived through WW2, the Korean War and the Depression. Did they agree on everything political and cultural and even religious? No! Did they truly love each other? Yes ✨
People who say, "just leave" are usually single with no responsibilities themselves. It's easy for them to say when they don't have 5 kids, a mortgage, thousands of dollars of assets, a career, and a reputation. All of that will be completely destroyed when you "just leave".
Most judges will award everything to the other spouse if you "just leave". That's called abandonment and you lose all your rights in a divorce case. NEVER leave your house in this situation.
My heart has been broken for years and my family is broken apart over nothing. I just have to pick-up the pieces and move on. I'm glad I have custody of all my boys.
Generally with guys, we only initiate the breakup when we have tried for a long time to work it out. I tell younger men that they must have a set of hard and fast linens in the sand that are clearly communicated. These apply to both men and women. Cheating is one. During the relationship, it is over. If either admits to have been a cheater in the past don't pursue anymore. Financial irresponsibility is another.
Have tried everything, 2 times 2 years, with a break of 5 years. You simply can't work it out with a covert narcissistic woman. And I think the reason why nobody is working it out anymore is, that the chance the other is narcissistic is in todays time pretty high. I am willing to put in effort/money/heart, but I am not willing to put TIME into it anymore!
Yep, they lie about the whole relationship. They only loved what you provided. They are vile, slimy creatures and you must keep them blocked. They always come back
My ex-wife filed for divorce because of arguments during a stressful point in life after our 2nd child was born. She said I was abusive because I said she was nagging me all the time. She still calls me abusive because I won't allow her to try and control me. The best thing I could do is block her and just move on with my life...
Very similar experience. I was "abusive and unloving" because I told her several times after our daughter was born I didn't appreciate her nagging me or interrupting what I was doing so I would do what she wanted. Wham! - decides one day she "doesn't want to do this anymore" and that I shouldnt have any custody of my young daughter and pay maximum CS. Fortunately the Court didn't agree with her whatsoever. I'm grateful she left me now, my life is so much more peaceful and I have my daughter.
Tried for 10 years...got stonewalled, gaslighted, sullen silence, starfish sex, drip fed sex, sarcasm, derision, followed by outbursts of anger when I suggested counselling. Gave up, and sent her back to her Father...best move I ever made. No one can accuse me of not trying.
No one is perfect. But everyone expects it from the other. Honesty is the rarest gem ever known and still cannot be found even though everyone is looking for it. Forgiveness is a strange term as if it was from another galaxy of a long gone extinct civilization that will never be heard from again. Truth seems to be so expensive that no one wants to buy it even though it's totally free. In the bible they say Wisdom is like a Woman who calls out to the simple minded to learn from her to know the truth of things. Sara Eaton is like unto her. Listen well men. But do not stop loving even though people walk away from you. If the day is too hard to bear just stop by this channel from this wise woman and rest in assurance you are not alone. Thank you Sara, you are a true wise Sage who cares about people to speak the truth so that maybe Goodness will prevail.
My wife's sister told her, you both need to work it out. But my wife did not want to. Instead she wanted the money and move in with her sister. All this was right after I worked my ass off moving tons of furniture for them during my rare annual vacation time and my wife did not even want to share the same room with me at her sister's house. Not to even mention fondling or anything romantic. Only in front of others she would hug and kiss me.
Severe lack of communication skills brought on my a number of societal issues such as a lack of reasoning skills, the me, me, me attitude, the lack of face to face social interaction thanks to platforms like FB, TikToc etc. to name a few.
“You slap a label on it and that’s reason to leave.” That’s it right there. “Toxic” usually means the other person won the argument and you’re too proud to change.
Blame dating apps. 100 years ago people worked out problems because culturally and technologically you couldn’t just replace people in your life that easily. Now? People can browse online for replacements within 5 minutes of relationship trouble. We’ve basically commoditized ourselves. And what’s worse, people go into relationships now believing they are all temporary to make separation easier to handle emotionally. Women can solve this by going 100% offline and stopping hookup culture.
Thank you! Absolutely!! Life can be difficult. Relationships will most definitely at times be difficult. Life will throw various challenges, adversities and potentially tragedies at you and your family. Handling difficulties together as a couple is paramount and greatly increases the likelihood of navigating them successfully. With that in mind, it is astonishing to me the growing willingness of people to completely abandon a relationship that could be fantastic if both are joined in their commitment openheartedly with humility, gratitude and grace. I believe any deep relationship worh having takes work that pays you back far more than you invest. I believe it is far more likely than not that the best, most stable, growth oriented and fulfilling committed relationships between men and women are those in which the couple consistently and intentionally puts in the work in order for it to not only be good but to improve over time.
It's because people view the relationships they are in and the people that are in a relationship with are disposable. I am dealing with this right now.
Some comments from an old man who enjoys people and living. 1. most people stop growing emotionally when they stop growing physically. Simply ask a woman how old she is inside. Ask a man. Rarely will someone say a higher age. 2. most people go through life with a statement about who they are. I stopped that decades ago. I ask people about their opinions, goals, education, achievements, families. My girl friend came over about lunchtime. I asked her how her morning had gone, her experience in getting some medicine the previous day. When was the last time that you heard a male or female asking a significant other how the day was going? You go to a business office and you see awards, college degrees on the walls. I took mine down, photographed them and threw them away. All that is left is a charcoal drawing of a cowboy scene. They are branding calves. Very good relaxing drawing. What is not apparent is the deeper meaning. The drawing was done by a quadriplegic who held the charcoal with his teeth. In a sometimes tough world, you control yourself and things can be beautiful.
I leave a relationship once it becomes difficult... because having given so much in the past and ended up with nothing for it, I have nothing left to give.
You are spot on. My wife of 23 years decided she didn't want to stay married to me. Maybe I'm an azzwhole. Either way, the last words she said to me were "get your $hit and GTFO". If I think about it for very long it still brings me down a little. But I'm thriving and plan on retiring in the next coupld of years. Being alone can be tough but I can deal with being alone better than I can with staying with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
I'm actually right in the middle of this. Trying very hard been together 24 years. There's no abuse physical or emotional, just trying to change things up and both help each other better ourselves individually hoping to help ourselves as a couple. It's definitely not easy not to fall into the same patterns. We're trying our best and we'll see what happens. Comments welcome have a good one people.
You’re not crazy, we should work on it before just throwing it all away. But both have to try, and when one wants out, both won’t be able to try. Ok by.😊
Avoidant, anxious, secure. We label everything these days. People aren’t people especially on dating apps. I recently saw someone trying to use the Meyers-Briggs to matchmake. We’re cooked.
True, people do like to "label" others with those terms. That's why when I refer to my ex I say that she "exhibits higher on (listed traits) rather than saying she's XYZ. I don't think anything is wrong with understanding your own or another person's psychological tendencies, because it can help you to understand WHY they behave in the ways that they do. Then you can decide IF you want to stay in it or bounce. As the old adage goes "Marriage is an institution of learning to put up with someone else's crazy.". And we're ALL crazy.
Man oh man, we truly need more women like you. Your totally common sense approach to these issues is so refreshing. Thank you, you give me hope for the future.
Great point! I see this all the time in all parts of life. It is frustrating as hell. I think emails/texting/surfing plays a part in how this happened. And nefarious controlling and conditioning from the powers that be, but that's an entirely different problem. I saw things deteriorate rapidly starting around 2012, then really crash once the smart phones came along. Friday nights at the local watering hole were once irresistibly fun, but now most of the folks that do show up are staring at their phone. Check please!
I think I'm general men, for a number of reasons, DO try to work things out. I know i did. My reward was that she felt less attracted to me and things got worse. That I wanted our relationship to work so badly made her feel she was above me. Hypergamy strikes again.... BTW This feels like your official start on TH-cam, with a landscaped framed video. I'm glad you're here.
This is something our parents were used to doing. I feel that we, baby boomers and younger, have lost the skill and desire of working things out. Thank you for a great video!
Unfortunately since our world is highly materialistic having things are more important than truth, going to war instead of talking it out. True Love needs to be the treasure not money
I think your right about trying to work it out. Bailing isn't always the answer. If your married, work it out. Of course there's exceptions. Sometimes a little bit of time apart will help. Just don't go looking for another relationship. My opinion.
I grew up in the 60s/70s. My mother went out of her way to teach me and my brother how to treat and respect women. I use all those lessons to this very day. I think the time has come to teach our girls how to treat men.
Absolutely right Sara. 10 yrs ago, couples worked tgeough their problems and were stronger together. Now, it is the opposite with some people .. I blame PEP Syndrome .. Precious Entitled Princess. 😅 .. also Patents who never said No to their daughters.
I started my adult life with exactly the approach you're talking about. "Let's talk, let's work it out." I tend to be a slow learner so I had to have it beaten out of me for decades. I'm thick headed enough that I would give it another shot if I ever met a woman who could convince me that she was even remotely on the same page. Mercifully, there doesn't seem to be much risk of that happening at this point.
You are a wellspring of truth. I love all your positive and motivational insights. Keep pouring that inspiration on us. GOD BLESS YOU SARA. I love your full screen.
Working out differences between people requires maturity and accountability. I've met and know many women from all walks of life. Very few have either attribute. None have both.
I tried for 32.5 years to keep our marriage together. She has always decided she would leave when things get tough. I was the sole provider allowing her to nurture the kids and keep the home for 30 of those years. (Which really she never did; at least in the same level as me putting in 60hrs per week in a blue collar job) This was the fifth major time that she did it again and said she wanted a divorce, so I gave her what she wanted and a HUGE burden was lifted from my shoulders!! I found out that I had done my part for the 32.5 years and that NOTHING I changed would make any difference anyway. I am liberated by this realization! My purpose for 32.5 years of marriage, was so that I could have seven children and six grandchildren so far, and that’s it. But what a blessing they are! So I am OK with calling this off. It’s weird being a bachelor again, but I am loving not having to answer to anyone!! Good luck to all of you out there! It’s a weird world we got, but hopefully getting better. I’m actually excited for the future!
My parents got married at about 18 and stayed together for the rest of their lives. I was always impressed by that. They had to build from scratch and did quite well together, but they also had differences so it couldn't have been easy. I think today we have been conditioned (media & marketing) to expect everything should be just so or else we should dispose of it. So basically there is very little patience and low tolerance for hard work. What you suggest would be a good thing, but morals have to change. Also, I think there are folks who can never be satisfied and will look for a reason to leave as soon as the next best thing present themselves. Others have just given up on the whole relationship idea altogether.
You must work on your relationship everyday. Everyday you have to work hard for the relationship to blossom. Everyday is a challenge for the relationship to survive. Every day you do something for the person you love. A loving look, a kind word or sentence, a laugh together, a helping hand mentally or emotionally or physically when your loved one has a rough time.
Definitely ok to leave a situation before committing to something that's producing more red flags. Leaving actual relationships where this isn't any abuse and/or cheating will likely lead you to another relationship where you will also leave because that tells me you have an expectation that THEY fix the issue for you. You can build better and stronger by both being all in on fixing an issue.
For me, my relationship with my child's mother became unsalvageable when she decided that she wanted me to have no custody of our daughter and to be on maximum CS. Never again! Fortunately, the Court didnt agree with her whatsoever.
Working it out requires both individuals to invest into wanting to do that. If one -- or maybe both -- frequently shuts down, gets defensive, and/or doesn't take any accountability, there is no way to work it out. The truth is you can't control the other person's behavior and feelings. Only your own. The bare minimum you can do is communicate your needs and boundaries. But if the other person stonewalls, there is no point in continuing to try.
Thank you, men and women men alike need to come to terms with these things in their own relationships. It's hard when your the only one who recognizes this , but not impossible.💯👍
If you're not happy before marriage you won't be happy after marriage. Marriage is the union of 2 good forgivers. And what about marriage VOWS?!!! Do they mean anything anymore??
It's good that you put this out here so that people can truly make their own decisions not just follow what sounds good. Don't apply to me though that woman gone gone.
We live in a disposable society. Everything and everybody is disposable. After 18 years of marriage my wife dumped me with no explanation and no desire to work on it. This left our two children devastated because there was no obvious issues. She didn't even want to work on it for the sake of our kids. Both kids have emotional issues still 8 years later. It was so selfish.
Living in a Marriage where intimacy is now not allowed any more is hard, but I love my wife & I still hold faint hope for change & I am doing my best to work through this.
We have become a throwaway society with everything. I’ve been guilty of this as well. I also feel that we have become very lazy when it comes to relationships. I’d like to see us get back to genuinely caring enough to work things out.
Your views are commendable. If you date a man and share these opinions, he should be appreciative. I always had the view when I dated that I should fight for my lady.
I don't know anyone who hasn't tried to work it out before leaving. Very often for years or decades full of suffering, mainly for the children to have a family. For every man who left too soon there are ten who did it too late, or never while they should have. Women, on the other hand, are never "happy" and have been convinced by social media they would be if they leave and find their prince.
This intriguing video serves as a poignant reminder of the heartache I've been enduring since my 7 year relationship came to an end 3 months ago. My cherished partner, the love of my life, made the difficult decision to part ways, leaving me consumed by thoughts of him. Despite my earnest attempts to win him back, I find myself facing frustration and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, unable to envision a life without his presence. Despite my efforts to move on, I'm compelled to confess my lingering feelings and longing for him here.
The process of releasing a loved one can be an uphill battle. I can relate, having navigated a similar journey when my 4 year relationship dissolved. Despite the heartache, I refused to relinquish hope and embarked on a quest to win her back. Turning to a spiritual counselor for assistance, I found guidance that ultimately led to our reconciliation.
Unless you are a horrible person, you are far better off letting them go and move on. If you know that you need work, do it. A person who is only partially into you is as useful as a partially complete rollercoaster.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. We’ve had some arguments/verbal fights/whatever you want to call it. No matter who started it or what happened to cause the argument, we’ve always had the goal of solving it as a team. It’s never been “if you don’t give me what I want I’m leaving”. If we get to a point where we just can’t agree on a major issue, we’ll end the relationship. We’ve both apologized to each other when we’ve made mistakes. It’s not always easy, but it’s really not that difficult either.
The problem with trying to salvage a relationship is that you never know if the relationship is salvagable. And you run a huge risk by trying. You are paying a price by giving another month, year, ... to a relationship that is failing in hope of a better tomorrow. And we should not ignore that risk. Neither should we ignore the chance of success. But the chances are often real slim realistically. Red flags are often toxic traits which are hard to get rid off. You don't just realize that who you are hurts people you love and stop doing that for good. But you might pretend for a while. And if the relationship gets somewhere (marriage, children, ...) while he/she is pretending you commited a huge mistake with severe consequences.
You are great and I'm very attracted to you and your personality and beautiful eyelashes, but the one thing that I love is how you end the video with " Kbye." I just love it.
This goes well beyond relationships. You buy something, and if you don’t like it the next day you return it. If you don’t like your sex, you change it. You quit your job with a short notice. Your employer will do the same. If you don’t agree with someone on politics, you label the person as facho and discard him/her entirely. It’s either good or bad, and nothing in between. And the transition from good to bad can take only seconds. The sense of commitment is nowhere to be found in the modern society.
Women convince each other that if their man tries to hold them even vaguely accountable for their actions then he's a controlling gaslighting narcissist. Once that seed of an idea is planted it will grow and grow.
Yep and misogynist, ex just contacted me yesterday. I never hit BLOCK so quick
narcissist are everywhere
@bushpig6837 this man gets it
This is exactly true. Modern psychiatry is a joke.
And destroy the garden like a wild briar bush.
I did try. She didn’t want to appreciate what she had.
She has to want to work it out. You can't make her want something she doesn't.
Trust is destroyed with cheating/infidelity & it's basically impossible to ever get that trust back. The betrayal forever haunts.
So true! It destroys a part of you. We are stripped thin and it's then a blessing just to feel stable. Hard to bounce back from but it can be done.
You can only work anything out with mutual respect and mutual accountability.
This BS attitude is in every aspect of our Society . People don't know how to apologize , if you have a complaint , you are automatically labeled a trouble maker . That art of conversation is almost gone .
The art of conversation and agreeing to disagree isn't almost gone, it left the party hours ago.
@@jeradblazek677 Yup, thanks to Trump.
@@LastSaturday09 Stop it.........this is exactly the type of mind controlled rhetoric that's been fed to us for decades that has led us to the point this commentor is making. "You're not on MY team, you're evil!" It's called othering, and it was going on long before Trump came on the scene.
Congratulations, you're the kind of useless 1d10t Stalin dreamed about.
Not even sure why you felt the need to make this political other than your worldview is completely through a political spectrum.
Maybe next time let's stay on point and in context.
@LastSaturday09 i'll bet trump tied your shoelaces together too. 😂🤡
@@LastSaturday09Please get over yourself
The art of reconciliation is gone from society and the Internet and Social Media killed it!
What really started it was when people treated appliances as disposable. Instead of fixing an appliance, people just throw it away and get new one. TV shows played a role in this too. People don't understand what they watch and listen too influences their decision making.
@ good analogy; it’s why I drive around in a 1996 F-250 and do basic maintenance to keep it running and my own mechanical work on it!
@John-Jay-Allen Spot-on.
And you probably save hundreds, if not thousands of dollars a year by doing that. The price of a damned oil change is almost a hundred bucks!
Way too easy to find someone else who is easier nowadays...
Social media and instant gratification play a big part in that.
Simps can get what they want simply by just talking to a girl nowadays!!
Girls get what they want, cuz they are girls!!😂
People are too lazy to work for what they need and only want things that are easy.
Its too much effort to keep something when you can just buy new!!😂😂
Lots of immaturity running around out there!!😂
Just gave up on another one myself...
She likes to give her number away to tall guys who simply ask for it, right in front of me!
Meanwhile it takes hard work to be a real man, and often goes unrecognized nowadays.
Once my trust is broken its over...I dont compete with other guys whatsoever!!
Another one whos addicted to her phone and easy attention.
Junk food, smoking, drinking and easy fun is what rules society...
Where are all the REAL women at!???😂
All i get is used up divorcees and hoe bags with a buncha kids from other dudes!!!😂
Life is hard enough without having to compete with tests and evey other dude in their life anyways...
Sad really... But im fine with peace and quiet anyways...
Drama free and independence!!🎉
Me and my doggie! 🐕
💯 percent
Women know they can just leave and cash out. So why work on a relationship.
trying to work out anything with one of these entitled children, posing as adult women, is impossible. im 59, and have learned just leaving, is your best option, every time.
They have BPD, OCPD and/or Covert Narcissism
Amen brother! I went back when I knew better, only delaying the inevitable, she was buying time to stay in the house as long as possible, got played, you live and you learn.
When it comes to relationships, it takes two. If only one of the two people want to work things out, that relationship won't work; it's that simple.
You are absolutely right. There's no point in "fencing" with them over bullshit. It's a complete waste of increasingly precious time.
What people forget is the person we're with was our choice.
100% agree. We need to find balance within ourselves first and not blame the other person for our issues.
Today, we're a disposable, intolerant society that walks away first.
Family units are suffering because of this, especially the children.
This is a another geat comment, but it shares the main point of other great comments here - people are NOT disposable except the current paradigm has made them seem like they are or can be just 'disposable.'
Sara, why cant more women be like you? Grounded, sensible advice that should be taught to all young women. Best wishes from England 👍
Because unfortinately, when shit hits the fan, even the great women common sense advocates like Sara shift back to the female herd metality of avoiding accountablility... because it's their base or "factory" setting.
If you have to actually work to get a relationship you won't leave it quickly. The problem is most relationships now days begin frivolously. Disposable from the beginning
Agree totally. Its an absolute tragedy that we are loosing the capacity to have dialog and that's simply based on personal interest. Thanks for sharing. You bring me hope, I need it.
It takes 100 percent on both parts to commit to make it work.
Women started this problem they need to sort it out
So true, my grandparents were married for sixty years, lived through WW2, the Korean War and the Depression. Did they agree on everything political and cultural and even religious? No! Did they truly love each other? Yes ✨
People who say, "just leave" are usually single with no responsibilities themselves. It's easy for them to say when they don't have 5 kids, a mortgage, thousands of dollars of assets, a career, and a reputation. All of that will be completely destroyed when you "just leave".
AND... if you are already someone who doesn't accept responsibility or accountability, it's easy to "just leave".
Most judges will award everything to the other spouse if you "just leave". That's called abandonment and you lose all your rights in a divorce case.
NEVER leave your house in this situation.
Unless you are the woman and leave. The judge won't then. Go to court and you will see this over and over. It is a double standard against men.
@tlee3454
Well, duh. I'm speaking to an audience of 99.9% of men here. Where have you been?
Very well said! People are not disposable!
That is really correct. Spot on summary comment.
My heart has been broken for years and my family is broken apart over nothing. I just have to pick-up the pieces and move on. I'm glad I have custody of all my boys.
Good for you. Stay strong man. Keep chasing that laughter from your future❤
You're lucky. Family Courts in some states hate fathers and I am not overstating it.
@rplace8737 I know... Colorado is dad friendly
I stayed, I tried to fix things. She had no interest and dumped me for the reaction I had to sketchy shit she did.
What boundaries? The nerve of you having self respect, standards & expectations of a W0mañ you Misogynisti¢
Narcissisti¢ ¢reep. Bad Walter.
Generally with guys, we only initiate the breakup when we have tried for a long time to work it out. I tell younger men that they must have a set of hard and fast linens in the sand that are clearly communicated. These apply to both men and women. Cheating is one. During the relationship, it is over. If either admits to have been a cheater in the past don't pursue anymore. Financial irresponsibility is another.
All women cheat
Have tried everything, 2 times 2 years, with a break of 5 years. You simply can't work it out with a covert narcissistic woman. And I think the reason why nobody is working it out anymore is, that the chance the other is narcissistic is in todays time pretty high. I am willing to put in effort/money/heart, but I am not willing to put TIME into it anymore!
Yep, they lie about the whole relationship. They only loved what you provided. They are vile, slimy creatures and you must keep them blocked. They always come back
My ex-wife filed for divorce because of arguments during a stressful point in life after our 2nd child was born. She said I was abusive because I said she was nagging me all the time. She still calls me abusive because I won't allow her to try and control me. The best thing I could do is block her and just move on with my life...
Very similar experience. I was "abusive and unloving" because I told her several times after our daughter was born I didn't appreciate her nagging me or interrupting what I was doing so I would do what she wanted. Wham! - decides one day she "doesn't want to do this anymore" and that I shouldnt have any custody of my young daughter and pay maximum CS. Fortunately the Court didn't agree with her whatsoever. I'm grateful she left me now, my life is so much more peaceful and I have my daughter.
Tried for 10 years...got stonewalled, gaslighted, sullen silence, starfish sex, drip fed sex, sarcasm, derision, followed by outbursts of anger when I suggested counselling.
Gave up, and sent her back to her Father...best move I ever made. No one can accuse me of not trying.
No one is perfect. But everyone expects it from the other. Honesty is the rarest gem ever known and still cannot be found even though everyone is looking for it. Forgiveness is a strange term as if it was from another galaxy of a long gone extinct civilization that will never be heard from again. Truth seems to be so expensive that no one wants to buy it even though it's totally free. In the bible they say Wisdom is like a Woman who calls out to the simple minded to learn from her to know the truth of things. Sara Eaton is like unto her. Listen well men. But do not stop loving even though people walk away from you. If the day is too hard to bear just stop by this channel from this wise woman and rest in assurance you are not alone. Thank you Sara, you are a true wise Sage who cares about people to speak the truth so that maybe Goodness will prevail.
Raise your hand if you want marriage laws overhauled. ✋
My wife's sister told her, you both need to work it out. But my wife did not want to.
Instead she wanted the money and move in with her sister.
All this was right after I worked my ass off moving tons of furniture for them during my rare annual vacation time
and my wife did not even want to share the same room with me at her sister's house. Not to even mention fondling or anything romantic.
Only in front of others she would hug and kiss me.
Severe lack of communication skills brought on my a number of societal issues such as a lack of reasoning skills, the me, me, me attitude, the lack of face to face social interaction thanks to platforms like FB, TikToc etc. to name a few.
It takes two emotionally healthy persons to work things out.
Part of that is realizing you might be wrong! Marriage is two selfish sinners trying to build something special together
“You slap a label on it and that’s reason to leave.”
That’s it right there. “Toxic” usually means the other person won the argument and you’re too proud to change.
Blame dating apps. 100 years ago people worked out problems because culturally and technologically you couldn’t just replace people in your life that easily. Now? People can browse online for replacements within 5 minutes of relationship trouble. We’ve basically commoditized ourselves. And what’s worse, people go into relationships now believing they are all temporary to make separation easier to handle emotionally. Women can solve this by going 100% offline and stopping hookup culture.
Thank you! Absolutely!! Life can be difficult. Relationships will most definitely at times be difficult. Life will throw various challenges, adversities and potentially tragedies at you and your family. Handling difficulties together as a couple is paramount and greatly increases the likelihood of navigating them successfully. With that in mind, it is astonishing to me the growing willingness of people to completely abandon a relationship that could be fantastic if both are joined in their commitment openheartedly with humility, gratitude and grace. I believe any deep relationship worh having takes work that pays you back far more than you invest. I believe it is far more likely than not that the best, most stable, growth oriented and fulfilling committed relationships between men and women are those in which the couple consistently and intentionally puts in the work in order for it to not only be good but to improve over time.
Most women are bosses and don't turn it off when they come home, most divorces are the reason men will walk away from relationships🙏🙏🙏
It's because people view the relationships they are in and the people that are in a relationship with are disposable.
I am dealing with this right now.
Well some of us attempt to but our ex’s didn’t want to make the effort. But in the long run we’re better off they’re out of our life.
This is good point.
I don't think you are crazy I think you are the most sane and grounded woman on this platform. 🎉🎉
Some comments from an old man who enjoys people and living.
1. most people stop growing emotionally when they stop growing physically. Simply ask a woman how old she is inside. Ask a man. Rarely will someone say a higher age.
2. most people go through life with a statement about who they are. I stopped that decades ago. I ask people about their opinions, goals, education, achievements, families. My girl friend came over about lunchtime. I asked her how her morning had gone, her experience in getting some medicine the previous day. When was the last time that you heard a male or female asking a significant other how the day was going?
You go to a business office and you see awards, college degrees on the walls. I took mine down, photographed them and threw them away. All that is left is a charcoal drawing of a cowboy scene. They are branding calves. Very good relaxing drawing. What is not apparent is the deeper meaning. The drawing was done by a quadriplegic who held the charcoal with his teeth.
In a sometimes tough world, you control yourself and things can be beautiful.
Love that you speak the truth, your doing this for men, you have to remind me to flip the coin also
I leave a relationship once it becomes difficult... because having given so much in the past and ended up with nothing for it, I have nothing left to give.
You are spot on. My wife of 23 years decided she didn't want to stay married to me. Maybe I'm an azzwhole. Either way, the last words she said to me were "get your $hit and GTFO". If I think about it for very long it still brings me down a little. But I'm thriving and plan on retiring in the next coupld of years. Being alone can be tough but I can deal with being alone better than I can with staying with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
I'm actually right in the middle of this. Trying very hard been together 24 years. There's no abuse physical or emotional, just trying to change things up and both help each other better ourselves individually hoping to help ourselves as a couple. It's definitely not easy not to fall into the same patterns. We're trying our best and we'll see what happens. Comments welcome have a good one people.
Keep working at it. You're doing the good, right, moral thing🙏
@adammorrie2155 tyvm couldn't look myself in the mirror if I didn't give e it everything I got. Ty
You’re not crazy, we should work on it before just throwing it all away. But both have to try, and when one wants out, both won’t be able to try. Ok by.😊
You are the best.
God bless you.
We’re considering each other as “personality types” rather than individuals; abuser, narcissist, queen, toxic, simp.
I am not a category.
Avoidant, anxious, secure. We label everything these days. People aren’t people especially on dating apps.
I recently saw someone trying to use the Meyers-Briggs to matchmake. We’re cooked.
True, people do like to "label" others with those terms. That's why when I refer to my ex I say that she "exhibits higher on (listed traits) rather than saying she's XYZ.
I don't think anything is wrong with understanding your own or another person's psychological tendencies, because it can help you to understand WHY they behave in the ways that they do. Then you can decide IF you want to stay in it or bounce.
As the old adage goes "Marriage is an institution of learning to put up with someone else's crazy.". And we're ALL crazy.
@ I’m NOT CRAZY!😜YOU’RE CRAZY!😅
Man oh man, we truly need more women like you. Your totally common sense approach to these issues is so refreshing. Thank you, you give me hope for the future.
Many people out there can't communicate at all. When it comes to relationship problems, it's even worse.
Great point! I see this all the time in all parts of life. It is frustrating as hell. I think emails/texting/surfing plays a part in how this happened. And nefarious controlling and conditioning from the powers that be, but that's an entirely different problem.
I saw things deteriorate rapidly starting around 2012, then really crash once the smart phones came along. Friday nights at the local watering hole were once irresistibly fun, but now most of the folks that do show up are staring at their phone. Check please!
I think I'm general men, for a number of reasons, DO try to work things out. I know i did. My reward was that she felt less attracted to me and things got worse. That I wanted our relationship to work so badly made her feel she was above me. Hypergamy strikes again....
BTW This feels like your official start on TH-cam, with a landscaped framed video. I'm glad you're here.
Amen. Too many people treat other people like they're throw aways.
I'll never leave your channel. I'll work it out. K bye!😂😂😂
This is something our parents were used to doing. I feel that we, baby boomers and younger, have lost the skill and desire of working things out. Thank you for a great video!
Unfortunately since our world is highly materialistic having things are more important than truth, going to war instead of talking it out. True Love needs to be the treasure not money
I think your right about trying to work it out. Bailing isn't always the answer. If your married, work it out. Of course there's exceptions. Sometimes a little bit of time apart will help. Just don't go looking for another relationship. My opinion.
This is the most positive video you've made. It's a dose of hard but fair, truth.
Thanks.
This is perhaps the most profound video I have heard in a very long time!
You give such clear and straight to the information Sarah !! Thank you ❤
I grew up in the 60s/70s. My mother went out of her way to teach me and my brother how to treat and respect women. I use all those lessons to this very day. I think the time has come to teach our girls how to treat men.
I grew up in the 90's and 00's. You can only imagine what the girls were like in my elementary years... Anxiety that starts burning your tissue!
Absolutely right Sara. 10 yrs ago, couples worked tgeough their problems and were stronger together. Now, it is the opposite with some people .. I blame PEP Syndrome .. Precious Entitled Princess. 😅 .. also Patents who never said No to their daughters.
We're lacking true connection in this world, and then when we find one - a precious gift - we treat it as disposable. It's so sad.
I started my adult life with exactly the approach you're talking about. "Let's talk, let's work it out." I tend to be a slow learner so I had to have it beaten out of me for decades. I'm thick headed enough that I would give it another shot if I ever met a woman who could convince me that she was even remotely on the same page. Mercifully, there doesn't seem to be much risk of that happening at this point.
The last time I tried to work it out, it was only me NOTHING FROM THE OTHER PARTY!
It's worth it as long as both are willing.
Done correctly it should strengthen the bond.
Excellent topic
Thank you
You are a wellspring of truth. I love all your positive and motivational insights. Keep pouring that inspiration on us. GOD BLESS YOU SARA. I love your full screen.
Be the salve not the sabotage Sarah ! Bridge builders not bridge burners !🔥🔥🔥🔥
Very well said Sara. And I’m happy to see a “horizontal” video from you finally! 😁
Working out differences between people requires maturity and accountability. I've met and know many women from all walks of life. Very few have either attribute. None have both.
I tried for 32.5 years to keep our marriage together. She has always decided she would leave when things get tough. I was the sole provider allowing her to nurture the kids and keep the home for 30 of those years. (Which really she never did; at least in the same level as me putting in 60hrs per week in a blue collar job) This was the fifth major time that she did it again and said she wanted a divorce, so I gave her what she wanted and a HUGE burden was lifted from my shoulders!! I found out that I had done my part for the 32.5 years and that NOTHING I changed would make any difference anyway. I am liberated by this realization! My purpose for 32.5 years of marriage, was so that I could have seven children and six grandchildren so far, and that’s it. But what a blessing they are! So I am OK with calling this off. It’s weird being a bachelor again, but I am loving not having to answer to anyone!! Good luck to all of you out there! It’s a weird world we got, but hopefully getting better. I’m actually excited for the future!
My parents got married at about 18 and stayed together for the rest of their lives. I was always impressed by that. They had to build from scratch and did quite well together, but they also had differences so it couldn't have been easy. I think today we have been conditioned (media & marketing) to expect everything should be just so or else we should dispose of it. So basically there is very little patience and low tolerance for hard work. What you suggest would be a good thing, but morals have to change. Also, I think there are folks who can never be satisfied and will look for a reason to leave as soon as the next best thing present themselves. Others have just given up on the whole relationship idea altogether.
Often, when one is being abused, the other gaslights the abused and asks them to "work it out", which = accept the abuse....
You must work on your relationship everyday. Everyday you have to work hard for the relationship to blossom. Everyday is a challenge for the relationship to survive. Every day you do something for the person you love. A loving look, a kind word or sentence, a laugh together, a helping hand mentally or emotionally or physically when your loved one has a rough time.
The problem is every ick or inconvenience is labeled “abuse”.
Definitely ok to leave a situation before committing to something that's producing more red flags. Leaving actual relationships where this isn't any abuse and/or cheating will likely lead you to another relationship where you will also leave because that tells me you have an expectation that THEY fix the issue for you. You can build better and stronger by both being all in on fixing an issue.
Wonderful topic Sara
🩷🩷🩷 thank you!
@saraeatononshorts Thank you for everything you do.
For me, my relationship with my child's mother became unsalvageable when she decided that she wanted me to have no custody of our daughter and to be on maximum CS. Never again! Fortunately, the Court didnt agree with her whatsoever.
I am sorry for your pain...I see it in your eyes...peace and blessings to you.....😊
She has a point, People grow & evolve over time alone or in a relationship. A relationship is grow & evolve together... Peace out!
❤❤ love you mum... you have inspired me alot.
Sara these are wise words.
I don’t know just leaving certainly has many advantages.
Your a very wise and self aware lady you are also very contemplative but thats not a bad thing your deep yes we should bring back working it out
Working it out requires both individuals to invest into wanting to do that. If one -- or maybe both -- frequently shuts down, gets defensive, and/or doesn't take any accountability, there is no way to work it out.
The truth is you can't control the other person's behavior and feelings. Only your own. The bare minimum you can do is communicate your needs and boundaries. But if the other person stonewalls, there is no point in continuing to try.
Thank you, men and women men alike need to come to terms with these things in their own relationships. It's hard when your the only one who recognizes this , but not impossible.💯👍
If you're not happy before marriage you won't be happy after marriage. Marriage is the union of 2 good forgivers. And what about marriage VOWS?!!! Do they mean anything anymore??
It's good that you put this out here so that people can truly make their own decisions not just follow what sounds good. Don't apply to me though that woman gone gone.
We live in a disposable society. Everything and everybody is disposable. After 18 years of marriage my wife dumped me with no explanation and no desire to work on it. This left our two children devastated because there was no obvious issues. She didn't even want to work on it for the sake of our kids. Both kids have emotional issues still 8 years later. It was so selfish.
Its a transferrence of stresses of a strict work/society life to interpersonal life. If life was more flexible, so would relationships.
Living in a
Marriage where intimacy is now not allowed any more is hard, but I love my wife & I still hold faint hope for change & I am doing my best to work through this.
she is cheating on you when she pulls back on intimacy.
We have become a throwaway society with everything. I’ve been guilty of this as well. I also feel that we have become very lazy when it comes to relationships. I’d like to see us get back to genuinely caring enough to work things out.
Your views are commendable. If you date a man and share these opinions, he should be appreciative. I always had the view when I dated that I should fight for my lady.
You are so beautiful!! I hope your life is amazing! 😊 Have a great day and be blessed! Totally agree 💯!!!
I don't know anyone who hasn't tried to work it out before leaving. Very often for years or decades full of suffering, mainly for the children to have a family. For every man who left too soon there are ten who did it too late, or never while they should have.
Women, on the other hand, are never "happy" and have been convinced by social media they would be if they leave and find their prince.
This intriguing video serves as a poignant reminder of the heartache I've been enduring since my 7 year relationship came to an end 3 months ago. My cherished partner, the love of my life, made the difficult decision to part ways, leaving me consumed by thoughts of him. Despite my earnest attempts to win him back, I find myself facing frustration and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, unable to envision a life without his presence. Despite my efforts to move on, I'm compelled to confess my lingering feelings and longing for him here.
The process of releasing a loved one can be an uphill battle. I can relate, having navigated a similar journey when my 4 year relationship dissolved. Despite the heartache, I refused to relinquish hope and embarked on a quest to win her back. Turning to a spiritual counselor for assistance, I found guidance that ultimately led to our reconciliation.
How did you manage to connect with a spiritual counselor, and what's the process for me to reach out to her?
Allow me to introduce Suzanne Ann Walters, a highly skilled spiritual counselor known for her expertise in rekindling past relationships.
Thank you for this invaluable information.
Unless you are a horrible person, you are far better off letting them go and move on. If you know that you need work, do it. A person who is only partially into you is as useful as a partially complete rollercoaster.
Real estate investors are cosplaying as relationship advisors
If people should leave who are being abused, men would be leaving in droves
@O.nTe-legram-The_SaraEaton in the video I just watched?? I'm not sure what you mean
My girlfriend and I have been together for about two years. We’ve had some arguments/verbal fights/whatever you want to call it. No matter who started it or what happened to cause the argument, we’ve always had the goal of solving it as a team. It’s never been “if you don’t give me what I want I’m leaving”. If we get to a point where we just can’t agree on a major issue, we’ll end the relationship. We’ve both apologized to each other when we’ve made mistakes. It’s not always easy, but it’s really not that difficult either.
The problem with trying to salvage a relationship is that you never know if the relationship is salvagable.
And you run a huge risk by trying. You are paying a price by giving another month, year, ... to a relationship that is failing in hope of a better tomorrow. And we should not ignore that risk.
Neither should we ignore the chance of success. But the chances are often real slim realistically.
Red flags are often toxic traits which are hard to get rid off. You don't just realize that who you are hurts people you love and stop doing that for good. But you might pretend for a while.
And if the relationship gets somewhere (marriage, children, ...) while he/she is pretending you commited a huge mistake with severe consequences.
A lot of really good points.
liked
You are great and I'm very attracted to you and your personality and beautiful eyelashes, but the one thing that I love is how you end the video with " Kbye." I just love it.
This goes well beyond relationships. You buy something, and if you don’t like it the next day you return it. If you don’t like your sex, you change it. You quit your job with a short notice. Your employer will do the same. If you don’t agree with someone on politics, you label the person as facho and discard him/her entirely. It’s either good or bad, and nothing in between. And the transition from good to bad can take only seconds. The sense of commitment is nowhere to be found in the modern society.
Well women think boundaries or financial responsibility is being controlling or abusive so there’s that
Yes