+DarkMatter2525 Thank you for questioning my religion and convinced me of its flaws years ago. I've learned the vast discoveries of evolution. Before, I believed in a fairytales without any real reason. Once again, thank you Dark Matter.
+DarkMatter2525 you are awesome dude sure you may receive a lot of hate for mocking christians but you still are one of the best youtubers there is i just want more god and jeffrey :P
The difference between an atheist and a Christian watching this video. Is the atheist will agree that these verses are in the bible then double check to verify, a Christian will deny the verses are in it and not bother checking.
@@oliversacco7320 what the... Did you read his comment its just generalized millions of people that wont do something as simple as double check a verse. thats pompus, narcissistic and close minded.
Idk if I’m an Atheist or not. My family believes in Christ, but we’re not super oriented around our religious beliefs. Me? I think it’s possible that God might exist, given that every story has to come from somewhere, but I also know that its very possible he might not be real. Maybe we are reincarnated, maybe we just disappear into nothingness, who knows. That’s why I’m glad my parents never forced me to base every action I do on whether or not it would “please the Lord.” Instead, I base it on whether or not I think it makes me a decent person based on my own morals. I don’t really know for sure if there even is a paradise or a hell-scape waiting for me when I die, so I know I need to enjoy what I have now. I guess I might be an Atheist, idk. 🤷♀️
It also says in the bible the creation of the rainbow after the flood will serve as a reminder to god not to kill everyone by a flood again as a means of his wrath, so an omnipotent being needs a thrikin rainbow to remind him to not kill people in a certain way again.
It was a reminder to the people, not to God. I am not justifying it in anyway, but you misrepresented what the Bible says. There is enough wrong with the Bible that there is no need to make stuff up. I assume this was unintentional, so no harm no foul. :)
+Cantankerous crotchety Ol' Man Yes, red one potatoes are indistinguishable from normal potatoes, in that they even shoot artifact laden VERTICAL VIDEO!
After watching this video, I have two questions: 1) Do the christians know what is written on his Bible? 2) Are the christians who read his Bible ON HIS FUCKING RIGHT MIND?
+Cristian50088 I'm Jewish, so we follow the Torah, which the Old Testament was based on. Everything's written in Hebrew, (and occasionally in Aramaic)so it's pretty easy to ignore the actual meaning. And when it's translated, everyone ignores it anyway. Everyone in my synagogue (and i think in most or all synagogues) listens to 'interpretations,' that are far nicer than the actual verses, but don't seem very accurate. Ancient rabbis like Rashi have their 'interpretations,' written in the margins of our prayer books, but when we translated some of them in school, it seemed to me like a lot of it was just them deciding a passage meant something, for no reason.
+05r13539 There are values within religions that are worth living by. Get past the bs, and they're there. Also, I like being in the Jewish community. There's a feeling of closeness.
+some person But if you ignore the majority of bad rules and listen only to the good ones, aren't you just using common sense and NOT holy books as basis for your morality?
+Abedeuss I never said otherwise. Thing is, most religions don't actually follow the holy book. For the most part, it's a bunch of people deciding what they think's right, what values are important, thinking or pretending it's from the book, but really it's the people deciding. That's why you have christians funding schools and christians calling for the deaths of gays, both because of their religion. Religion isn't actually about the holy book - it's about how people choose to 'interpret,' it, and what they think is right. Sounds a little hypocritical, but frankly, I'm glad this is how most religion works. There's a lot of stuff about slaves, stoning rape victims, etc.
+05r13539 I don't think it's a good idea to believe with a passion, but if you kind of half-believe, it's not really a problem. If we could get all followers to half-believe, we'd be far better off. I'd say I've never agreed with extremism, but I think I made that pretty obvious already.
I think it's true. Mother Mary should either be impregnated by Joseph if the bible isn't true but otherwise, I think someone else impregnated her long before meeting Joseph.
This video is ready for Adult Swim. Hilarious and the video quality is good as Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I hope you can get on cable as your message needs a larger audience (at east 1million viewers in a 7 day measurement) and you certainly deserve the pay.
+shockofhyperbole Jeffery told God to drop the bird blood life hack in favor of something better, which was when God chose to replace it with the slavery one. In reality, I already had ten life hacks written, but I wanted to squeeze the slavery one in there, so that's how I did it.
Gregory May When a channel is verified, they get a badge next to their username so people know the channel belongs to that person. Two examples are Nigahiga and Smosh. support.google.com/youtube/answer/3046484?hl=en
Erick, no, not me but I do remember when I became an atheist. There's no magical one video that'll do it but discourse would be excellent for faith. Can you really claim to have faith in an idea that hasn't been challenged?
Damn just looked up 2 kings 23-25 mentioned here, god setting bears to kill 42 kids for insulting elijahs bald head! Thats some cold shit, right there. A lot of massacres going on in bible, im glad im a Athiest .
“Get off me you stupid little flying baby!!! Why don’t you change your pot leaf?!!” While God is in the background saying “Worldstar” is priceless. I would love to see Jesus and Jeffery’s relationship explored
@@IsJdog911 The great majority of us are angostic atheists. Same goes for the militant ones. It's not because you're agnostic that you got to accept the bullshit of others, or the fallacies.
god should always be drawn soaked head to toe in human blood. The greatest serial killer in history. In fact it is difficult to even CONCEIVE of a more bloodthirsty murderer.
God: "Look, Jeffrey, the only 100% way to not be pregnant is to stay a virgin" Jeffrey: "Ho, like the Virgin Mary?" ...: 0 OMG THE BURN, THE HELL'S FIRE OF THE BURN! IT'S TOO LIT!!!!! GET ROASTED SO HARD GOD!!!
God: "the only 100% full proof way to not get pregnant, is to stay a virgin". Jeffrey: "oh, like virgin Mary". holy fuck this part was hillarious. keep doing what you do darkmatter this episode was hillarious.
''But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.'' Matthew 24:37 not only Jesus did not erase the Oldie but he warned people that on his second coming it will be the same as Noah flood
***** yeap! is my best and shortest answer to people who claim that Jesus does not support the Oldie. And the conversation stops right there! trolololoolo
***** years ago i was finding very entertaining going on debates versus the ''mindless sheep'' or trying to convert them to the logic's side.Now i m so tired of all these things.Its not funny at all anymore.I just ignore all religion/politics conversations and i dont participate at all.Its their own right to act like sheeps if they want.Its like the old good wine...ages go and ages come...and religions are fucked up right now and have lost much power.Its a matter of time sheeps will convert to humans again!
Darkmatter2525 is the best atheist entertainer. He is beyond all other internet atheists that do nothing but whine and bash. This guy knows how to get a mesage around. Long live Darkmatter2525.
In my classroom, there is a piece of paper hanging hidden on the wall that says "kings 2:23-25". I didn't really think much of it until I looked it up.
man mannington 23 Elisha went up from there to Bethel. As he was going up the road, some young people came out of the city. They mocked him: “Get going, Baldy! Get going, Baldy!” 24 Turning around, Elisha looked at them and cursed them in the Lord’s name. Then two bears came out of the woods and mangled forty-two of the youths. 25 From there Elisha went to Mount Carmel and then back to Samaria.
+太陽ダビデ Actually, my believe is (if god and the devil turn out to actually exist) that the bible is the work of the devil who presents himself as god in it. This fits nicely with the part in the bible that says many will be deceived. "God" in the bible, who I consider to actually be the devil, just wants to keep humans stupid and worship him. Whereas the "devil", who I consider to actually be god, tries to get humans to think critically and see the evil of the so-called god for themselves.
Benjamin Scott It did yes. When I was reading the bible for a second time (first time as a deeply religious man, second time as a man in doubt). I've been thinking about writing some kind of book or paper on the subject, but that would require me to read the damn thing for a third time... The basic idea of god = devil and vice versa also doesn't work out for the entire bible, but it does for large parts.
I've actually long said that the book of Revelation reads like the first ever recorded blog post from a guy tripping on magic mushrooms. Seven-headed angels holding seven scrolls with seven swords and seven keys and seven stars and seven seven seven seven... I was just waiting for the part where the guy panicked about all the spiders crawling all over him. Or whatever mush-heads do. Are they called mush-heads?
*SPOILER ALERT* I had to pause this when God held up the coat-hanger until I stopped laughing. Is it wrong that I found a reference to coat-hanger abortions so funny?
+1955RodHot The scence was meant to be comical. Comedy is not always a thing of nonsense or beauty, sometimes it is provided as a trickster or a harlequin might parlay it, sometimes it can be dark and grime. The comedy in this particular instance comes not in the coat hanger but that the idea of using such a thing is ludicrous.
+Agimaso Schandir no, the coat hanger reference isn't meant to be ludacris, it's meant to be shocking! When abortion was still illegal in the US coat hangers were among some of the "tools" which were used to perform the procedure. The results of illegal abortions were disastrous to the woman's health and life. Septic shock, vaginal lacerations, perforated uterus and death can result from illegal abortions. It's the reason why abortions were made legal because they are going to be performed regardless of the risks, its better to have them done by a safe medical procedure.
As a feminist, I can say I found that moment to be hilarious as well. XD It's shocking and absurd but the God character is already made out to be a despicable character, so it's expected that we should object to the things he supports. The timing and sound cues fed into the comedy a lot as well.
absolutely brilliant! I just discovered your channel recently and it's incredibly well done....a cartoon form of some of the responses I give when people ask me why I'm an agnostic/de-facto athiest! I'll def. be looking forward to new episodes, I absolutely love the Yahweh character!!
24 When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, 25 Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines. 26 When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, 27 David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.
I love that you put in the Bible verses so people can look it up themselves I like to trust but verify and this is very helpful in doing that. The startling thing is that we were taught any of these things growing up and no one really preaches on them so finding this stuff out for the first time your whole world gets flipped turned upside down. The Bible is a lot more whack than most Christian’s like to admit. I always remembered growing up hearing about how atheists would always talk about how horrible the Bible is and stuff and we were always told no it’s not but never were we really encouraged to read all of it as kids you just sorta relied on what everyone else was telling you about it because obviously the teachers must have read it all. But conveniently much of it is left completely out of discussion. Even having done Bible quizzing as a kid they only picked a handful of books to study each year usually only one and usually they were some of the more standard ones and for kids quizzing they would cut out chapters that were too adult like all the incest in genesis and rape and child sacrifice in judges etc. things would get seriously dumbed down and so you never really fully understood what was going on and it was all framed in a way that you didn’t see the horror in it. It’s honestly kinda whack looking back at it now and I still at the moment loosely consider myself a Christian although I’m leaning pretty heavily now toward not.
Is it possible we could just...y'know - fire God? Then, maybe, have Jeffery take his place..? It's just that, God really seems to SUCK at his job, y'know?
PeteTheGrouch all summed up in a mocking propaganda cartoon. Smart crowd. Funny video. I have bible study tonight. I'm interested. Is that a crime...and open mind? I also participate in reiki and other healing practices...real or not...they keep me centered. My choice. Non ya business :)
Im also interested in the deepest oceans and infinite universe..and all the unknown possibilities...imagination and curiosity are alright...creative cartoon!
***** A hammer did not work either. I prayed a lot to God to peel the banana with a hammer and nothing happened. I thought maybe God did not have a hammer and I even bought one for him to use. But even leaving the hammer next to the the banana and asking my friend to pray with me nothing happened. I'm disappointed. Does anyone was successful at all?
Lukas Re I've tried everything! Grenades. plastic explosives, knives, peelers, sandpaper, M9 ... Which leads me to think that the problem lies in prayer. Does anyone know a good prayer? And do you believe that doing some offering to god would help? Does God like Kit Kat?
***** I bought a goat and left him next to a knife. I prayed to Satan to sacrifice this goat. Did not work. The goat is still alive and my banana was not peeled off. I tried to pray for Satan to peel the banana himself. Nothing happened. I did not realize that praying was something so complicated. I decided to buy the book Christian Prayer For Dummies. It was a waste of money and time. No single tip of this book worked. Maybe God could be on vacation? Or maybe it's Holiday in Paradise or wherever he lives? Hope my prayer went to his mailbox and he will help me later..
Here's a life hack I've encountered a few times: How to demonize atheism: Step 1: Accuse all atheists of hating all Christians. Unfortunately, many atheists will refute this by saying that they have many Christian friends, and that they respect each other's opinions. Step 2: Argue that any Christian who respects the opinion of an atheist is not a true Christian. By redefining Christianity, it is impossible, by definition, for Christians and atheists to get along. Step 3: Forget about the loophole that allows Step 2 to reinforce Step 1, and pretend that Step 1 is the atheist's fault.
+NonSmokingAddict Atheism is a troll religion. Perfect for the characters on the internet who dont truly believe in anything and hate things they ironically cant stop watching or talking about. lol.
+The Truth Actually no, we criticize and ridicule Christianity because if atheists do not fight back, Christians will turn this country into a theocracy as apposed to the secular nation we are. If atheists do not fight back Christians will deny the right to pursue happiness to anyone they deem as immoral or not to their standard of morality. If atheists do not fight back Christians will stifle any science they deem as not in agreement with their beliefs, prime example, evolution. If atheists do not fight back Christians will white wash history for their own ends. If atheists do nothing we could end up with a right wing extremist as our president. If atheists do nothing, the evil of Christianity will run unchecked here in America. That is why we criticize and ridicule Christianity.
***** Congratulations. You did exactly what I described in step 1. My turn: As an atheist, I have several Christian friends who respect my opinion as much as I respect theirs. If you stoop to step 2, then that would make you more of an idiot than the last person to do so, given the fact that I logically laid out the problem right here.
10-play caramelldansen everyday so you don't hear them 9-eat the peel first 8-YeeTtus FeTus deletus the meaTus 7-forepods 6- petrol fumes 5-th-cam.com/video/Nks56doHGU0/w-d-xo.html 4-youtu.be/1qT-_DPK4 3-why get rid of it it tastes fine 3.2-Would you like my rod, or this rod? 2-SNU SNU 1-scalp the little hairless rat
Well no matter what you're going to say Christians are still going to say that god works in mysterious ways and our minds is too feeble compare to god to understand his works.
The real sin is filming vertically
Preach
“I loooove vertical videos!”
I'm not even all that religious and I agree
Jesus lost his winning streak filming this
C C C COMBO BREAKER
They aren't phones, why do people still call them phones? so stupid.
On the foreskin thing, I would note that the king in question only requested a hundred. David was a go-getter.
Drosta Dorianin He was getting the hung of it.
😂
The king requested a hundred too many
I'm going to find this and put it into an inspirational Bible passage video.
Yes as if that makes it any less ridiculous
God's hair is fabulous.
God is like "It's just faaaabulouuuus."
of course a perfect being would have great looking hair :D
As fabulous as poodipai
Yes XD so cool
Hey ARMY :D
please make an, "If Jeffery Became God." I think it would be a very interesting video.
Great idea
That's a great idea. Can I repost it? I'll credit you
Go ahead dude! anything to get the idea more known!
Omfg please yessss
that would be awesome.
You are my favorite TH-camr, bringing talent, knowledge and humor into your videos. We are very fortunate to have you.
+Dustin 3423 thank you so much for the kind words!
+DarkMatter2525 Thank you for questioning my religion and convinced me of its flaws years ago. I've learned the vast discoveries of evolution. Before, I believed in a fairytales without any real reason. Once again, thank you Dark Matter.
+DarkMatter2525 you are awesome dude sure you may receive a lot of hate for mocking christians but you still are one of the best youtubers there is i just want more god and jeffrey :P
+Justas Guikutis I see that mocking religion amuses you in some sick and twisted way!
+Justas Guikutis and also just incase you ask I'm not entitled to my own opinion, I am entitled to fucking facts!
I'm glad you're still doing plain old God & Jeffery videos. They're the best.
***** WTF's your problem?
***** ... riiiiiight. I'm just going to assume you're trolling.
***** I have a secret hideout in my room, so you can't keep me there.
In any case, I have Lionel Hutz on my side. I'm invincible.
I love Jeffrey, especially when he shrieks "Whaaaaaaaat?" when God says something insane
I just noticed that God has a swan in his hair.
Lol just using my imagination. It's that little piece in the front.
I see it!
A holy swan
I will never unsee that.
Welp, can't unsee that now
how could you not love these videos!?
+The Box That Could You mean miracles and mysterious ways
+Willie HavMire Only Hell bound idiots love DarkMatter2525's videos.
Grow up yet you "heavenbound" saints keep watching lol
Willie HavMire
They don't watch it. They close their ears, shake their heads and sing "lalalalalala", while ranting in the comment section.
May the Science be with You
May the knowledge from God be with you.
I was about to say "Whoever is filming vertically should be nailed to a cross" until Jeffery pointed it out :P
+Valen Warden He did get nailed to a cross
William Steeves Thanks for explaining the joke...
+비니보이 You don't need to hammer home the point.
+Michael Price Exactly!! That's what we got Thor for!!
+Thomas Jensen you ruined it. I'm very cross with you.
The difference between an atheist and a Christian watching this video. Is the atheist will agree that these verses are in the bible then double check to verify, a Christian will deny the verses are in it and not bother checking.
Well they are little babies
@@oliversacco7320 what the... Did you read his comment its just generalized millions of people that wont do something as simple as double check a verse. thats pompus, narcissistic and close minded.
I’m Christian and I actually checked this shit. WTF is the least I can say
@@airbolt6496 Yeah you should probably become Atheist or at least choose another religion that's not batshit crazy.
Idk if I’m an Atheist or not. My family believes in Christ, but we’re not super oriented around our religious beliefs.
Me? I think it’s possible that God might exist, given that every story has to come from somewhere, but I also know that its very possible he might not be real. Maybe we are reincarnated, maybe we just disappear into nothingness, who knows.
That’s why I’m glad my parents never forced me to base every action I do on whether or not it would “please the Lord.” Instead, I base it on whether or not I think it makes me a decent person based on my own morals.
I don’t really know for sure if there even is a paradise or a hell-scape waiting for me when I die, so I know I need to enjoy what I have now.
I guess I might be an Atheist, idk. 🤷♀️
It also says in the bible the creation of the rainbow after the flood will serve as a reminder to god not to kill everyone by a flood again as a means of his wrath, so an omnipotent being needs a thrikin rainbow to remind him to not kill people in a certain way again.
***** Yep sounds logical
Wait, wrath isn't one of the Seven Deadly Sins in the first place?
It was a reminder to the people, not to God. I am not justifying it in anyway, but you misrepresented what the Bible says. There is enough wrong with the Bible that there is no need to make stuff up. I assume this was unintentional, so no harm no foul. :)
Clearly God is learning on the job.
As least read the book then make dumbass comments.
You should do a video only about the Book of Revelations...
just saying it...
I will love to see that too
Gift Brown yea
That would be extremely hard.
Glen Wiseman how is that?
@@ezekielguy402 The answer is in the video.
"I don't know what was being smoked when it was written"
A new Thunderf00t AND a new DarkMatter video, It MUST be Christmas.
Logicked too, but depending on your timezone that may have been yesterday.
+Dilo Power not just any TF video, a WDPLAC video!!!! :)
Yes, Yes to Both
And my friend has been confirmed to be NOT Dying. Today is just a good day
Thunderf00t is a twat.
it IS Christmas
If I ever get to heaven, I will look for Jeffrey! LOL ;)
oh mariya you dont understand .we going to hell so we wont get to play with foreskins and stuff.
فهمي كتاني first are you mariya and second do you come here for entertainment or what.and what do you belive in.
Sorry, there is no heaven and there is no God. We made him up, along with Santa and along with the boogie man.
That would be the only thing good if heaven was not fake
@@rickyspanish6520 he would be great
Was this filmed with a potato? Seriously, jesus?
Yes, yes it was.
+Jesus Herbert Christ
Come on, man. You're supposed to be sinless. Vertical video? That's a sin.
+Max Sandefer It was filmed on a red one. That was obvious I thought.
+Cantankerous crotchety Ol' Man Yes, red one potatoes are indistinguishable from normal potatoes, in that they even shoot artifact laden VERTICAL VIDEO!
+Max Sandefer A NEW potato. Picked before fully ripe. It's skin is as thin as gossimer, but it ain't got no resolution.
After watching this video, I have two questions:
1) Do the christians know what is written on his Bible?
2) Are the christians who read his Bible ON HIS FUCKING RIGHT MIND?
+Cristian50088
I'm Jewish, so we follow the Torah, which the Old Testament was based on. Everything's written in Hebrew, (and occasionally in Aramaic)so it's pretty easy to ignore the actual meaning. And when it's translated, everyone ignores it anyway.
Everyone in my synagogue (and i think in most or all synagogues) listens to 'interpretations,' that are far nicer than the actual verses, but don't seem very accurate. Ancient rabbis like Rashi have their 'interpretations,' written in the margins of our prayer books, but when we translated some of them in school, it seemed to me like a lot of it was just them deciding a passage meant something, for no reason.
+05r13539
There are values within religions that are worth living by. Get past the bs, and they're there.
Also, I like being in the Jewish community. There's a feeling of closeness.
+some person But if you ignore the majority of bad rules and listen only to the good ones, aren't you just using common sense and NOT holy books as basis for your morality?
+Abedeuss
I never said otherwise.
Thing is, most religions don't actually follow the holy book. For the most part, it's a bunch of people deciding what they think's right, what values are important, thinking or pretending it's from the book, but really it's the people deciding. That's why you have christians funding schools and christians calling for the deaths of gays, both because of their religion.
Religion isn't actually about the holy book - it's about how people choose to 'interpret,' it, and what they think is right.
Sounds a little hypocritical, but frankly, I'm glad this is how most religion works. There's a lot of stuff about slaves, stoning rape victims, etc.
+05r13539
I don't think it's a good idea to believe with a passion, but if you kind of half-believe, it's not really a problem.
If we could get all followers to half-believe, we'd be far better off.
I'd say I've never agreed with extremism, but I think I made that pretty obvious already.
God:"the only fool proof way to not get pregnant is to stay a virgin"
Jeffery: "like Virgin Mary"
That's seriously hilarious. I loved that part.
I think it's true. Mother Mary should either be impregnated by Joseph if the bible isn't true but otherwise, I think someone else impregnated her long before meeting Joseph.
VOTE
Jeffrey as God
Jeffrey as angel. or what happen or who running God xD
brandon caruso says who?
Hey god, foreskin fight!!!!!! LOL
brandon caruso go fuck your self
brandon, I'm not interested, but thanks anyway. Peace.
This video is ready for Adult Swim. Hilarious and the video quality is good as Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
I hope you can get on cable as your message needs a larger audience (at east 1million viewers in a 7 day measurement) and you certainly deserve the pay.
Hey Jesus! Ever heard of landscape mode?
+Tristan Hoekstra lol, just as it gets mentioned by Jeffery
Don't be mad bro
Go change your leaf!
He was a dumbass have you read his book lol
Anyone else notice how there are two #3's on his list?
Right! :-o
*plays the x-files music*
+shockofhyperbole Jeffery told God to drop the bird blood life hack in favor of something better, which was when God chose to replace it with the slavery one. In reality, I already had ten life hacks written, but I wanted to squeeze the slavery one in there, so that's how I did it.
+BricklordLP ???
+huihkjhlhlhh gigkjhkhljl,pm just joking around ^-^
This will always be one of my favorite channels on this site
Foreskins - The perfect gift for any occasion
Priceless! 😄
You should get your channel verified, DarkMatter.
+lorderik237 what do you mean?
Gregory May When a channel is verified, they get a badge next to their username so people know the channel belongs to that person. Two examples are Nigahiga and Smosh.
support.google.com/youtube/answer/3046484?hl=en
He has now c:
*Darkmatter666 has entered the chat*
Oh, god(s), that was 7 years ago, already?
When Jeffrey brought up Mary I died
Noomi Blumquist this is how I learn about Christianity
@{Furon Reich} mary got god 😂😂😂😂
If you answer I'll take it as evidence that you have resurrected sometime in the last 4 years. All hail Daniel! Unless he is dead.
@@eleSDSU No need, he wrote a comment after he rose from the dead, are you a blind heretic? Hallelujah oh Daniel!
This video is probably my favorite of your videos. You do such a good job of providing education along with a good laugh. You’re a true hero
I love how no one has made rebuttals to these videos lol because they physically can't make a solid argument
ee yup
They probally do not give it much thought beause it is animated.
Don't Censor and why should we fight for anything here on the internet, think about it, in ten years, would you still remember this conversation?
Erick well the internet doesn't really think that way
Erick, no, not me but I do remember when I became an atheist. There's no magical one video that'll do it but discourse would be excellent for faith. Can you really claim to have faith in an idea that hasn't been challenged?
His reaction when God pulled out the hanger had me crying 😂😂😂
Damn just looked up 2 kings 23-25 mentioned here, god setting bears to kill 42 kids for insulting elijahs bald head! Thats some cold shit, right there. A lot of massacres going on in bible, im glad im a Athiest .
God righteously killed those kids, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away 😉
@@IsJdog911 Judging by this, "As A black man I also find it confusing as to why my race can't see such an obvious trap.", I'm guessing it's sarcasm?
@@alb9022 yeah pretty much lmao
@@alb9022 Christians worship the God of death destruction and confusion
@@IsJdog911 xD
I laughed my ass of when God attacked Jeffrery xD
“Get off me you stupid little flying baby!!! Why don’t you change your pot leaf?!!” While God is in the background saying “Worldstar” is priceless. I would love to see Jesus and Jeffery’s relationship explored
As an Agnostic Athiest, your channel is hilarious and I'm subscribing. :)
I'm also agnostic we are indeed an endangered species
@@IsJdog911 I think most atheists are agnostic.
@@EthanPineapple well not all the militant ones
@@IsJdog911 Militant what?
@@IsJdog911 The great majority of us are angostic atheists. Same goes for the militant ones. It's not because you're agnostic that you got to accept the bullshit of others, or the fallacies.
Thank God I found Jeffrey and now I'm worshiping Him!
6:14 when the girl you like posts a revealing picture.
Wtf is wrong with you
Dan Gaming nothing.
Wtf is right with you
Dan Gaming nothing
@@DanGaming0 nothing. whats wrong with you?
I like Jeffery
i like you mom too
We all do ❤️❤️❤️❤️
god should always be drawn soaked head to toe in human blood. The greatest serial killer in history. In fact it is difficult to even CONCEIVE of a more bloodthirsty murderer.
Naah, aliens have been known to wipe out whole planets, God doesn't even come close
You haven't heard?
nvmffs Lol.
BLOOD FOR YHWH, SKULLS FOR GOD'S THONE.
The empire and alderaan would like to have a word with you
God: "Look, Jeffrey, the only 100% way to not be pregnant is to stay a virgin"
Jeffrey: "Ho, like the Virgin Mary?"
...: 0 OMG THE BURN, THE HELL'S FIRE OF THE BURN! IT'S TOO LIT!!!!! GET ROASTED SO HARD GOD!!!
The debate is open: Who's more virgin? Mary or Princess Peach?
God heard Jeffrey say like the virgin Mary zGod wants to maul Jeffrey.lol
@@HypercatZ the Blessed Virgin Mary:) Hail Holy Queen enthroned above!! Oh Maria!!
@@HypercatZ Given Bowsers gay probably peach.
"hey, God?"
God- "yeah, ow"
"foreskin fight"
God: "the only 100% full proof way to not get pregnant, is to stay a virgin".
Jeffrey: "oh, like virgin Mary".
holy fuck this part was hillarious. keep doing what you do darkmatter this episode was hillarious.
There is only one way to end someone rightly ... throw the pommel at them
This yoke is unstoppable now
+Aquawu This is from Skallagrim isn't it?
Jommy Davi Yes it is
+Aquawu Does Skall watch these video's?
***** I don't know, I don't think so
I was dying at 5:05
+Awesome McBadass It not funny
+Awesome McBadass *thwap!*
Foreskin fight!
+Awesome McBadass I was reborning at 78:23
Really? You must be twelve years old.
+Leonard But it was hilarious as fuck.
I like how the New Testament basically erases the Old Testament
''But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.''
Matthew 24:37
not only Jesus did not erase the Oldie but he warned people that on his second coming it will be the same as Noah flood
*****
yeap! is my best and shortest answer to people who claim that Jesus does not support the Oldie. And the conversation stops right there! trolololoolo
*****
years ago i was finding very entertaining going on debates versus the ''mindless sheep'' or trying to convert them to the logic's side.Now i m so tired of all these things.Its not funny at all anymore.I just ignore all religion/politics conversations and i dont participate at all.Its their own right to act like sheeps if they want.Its like the old good wine...ages go and ages come...and religions are fucked up right now and have lost much power.Its a matter of time sheeps will convert to humans again!
*****
Amen! XD
or Damen?*****
Darkmatter2525 is the best atheist entertainer. He is beyond all other internet atheists that do nothing but whine and bash. This guy knows how to get a mesage around. Long live Darkmatter2525.
This has given a new meaning to " Goddamnit."
In my classroom, there is a piece of paper hanging hidden on the wall that says "kings 2:23-25". I didn't really think much of it until I looked it up.
Wats it say?
man mannington 23 Elisha went up from there to Bethel. As he was going up the road, some young people came out of the city. They mocked him: “Get going, Baldy! Get going, Baldy!” 24 Turning around, Elisha looked at them and cursed them in the Lord’s name. Then two bears came out of the woods and mangled forty-two of the youths. 25 From there Elisha went to Mount Carmel and then back to Samaria.
+Phillip Isayev fucking bullshit dont you think? I mean i dont how people can read this an still believe this shit
Hunter491 My mom always defends it.
LOOOOL WTF
I just found this and OMG! Some of these are 100% how I feel and have always felt. This is now my fav channel ever! Lol
I nearly died at the 'virgin Mary' part where God tackled Jeffrey. Funniest of your videos yet. Amazing! :D
Does the Ski phone 7 have a headphone jack?
Sugar Buns nah, god doesn't like jacking.
Damn, that Virgin Mary comeback was God's Sickest Burn since he created Hell.
Before the ten commandments came ten fingers
Thumbs aren't fingers. Swing and a miss.
disproof of the bible basically
@@thedeekabides thumbs are on the hand and have the same purpose as fingers therefore they are fingers
@@thedeekabides are halluxs toes
"You're breaking the 8th wall...or the 6th sense or something" lmao 😂😂
After watching several of your videos I can't tell the difference between god and the devil ^_^"
+太陽ダビデ Actually, my believe is (if god and the devil turn out to actually exist) that the bible is the work of the devil who presents himself as god in it. This fits nicely with the part in the bible that says many will be deceived.
"God" in the bible, who I consider to actually be the devil, just wants to keep humans stupid and worship him.
Whereas the "devil", who I consider to actually be god, tries to get humans to think critically and see the evil of the so-called god for themselves.
+Nloveru That's very valid. And should be made into a novel.
+Nloveru wow that's crazy and awesome. Did this just happen to wiggle into your mind?
Benjamin Scott It did yes. When I was reading the bible for a second time (first time as a deeply religious man, second time as a man in doubt).
I've been thinking about writing some kind of book or paper on the subject, but that would require me to read the damn thing for a third time...
The basic idea of god = devil and vice versa also doesn't work out for the entire bible, but it does for large parts.
Nloveru Which parts do you think it fails to "work out" for?
The "Job" story?
I've actually long said that the book of Revelation reads like the first ever recorded blog post from a guy tripping on magic mushrooms.
Seven-headed angels holding seven scrolls with seven swords and seven keys and seven stars and seven seven seven seven... I was just waiting for the part where the guy panicked about all the spiders crawling all over him. Or whatever mush-heads do. Are they called mush-heads?
***** I'm not "down" on the "lingo" used by "the kids" these days. Do people still speak Jive?
+SpaceClaw and now me as well. mushheads!!!!
+EdwardHowton Nah, ain't no hepcats wailin' with the mellows no more.
+EdwardHowton Mushroom users are generally called "shroomers".
+EdwardHowton
My mumma didn't raise no dummies, I dug yo' rap.
1:53 "why don't you change your pot leaf" 😂😂😂😂
*SPOILER ALERT* I had to pause this when God held up the coat-hanger until I stopped laughing. Is it wrong that I found a reference to coat-hanger abortions so funny?
+1955RodHot I don't think so. I think if you understand the issue, it's always fine to laugh.
+1955RodHot
The scence was meant to be comical. Comedy is not always a thing of nonsense or beauty, sometimes it is provided as a trickster or a harlequin might parlay it, sometimes it can be dark and grime.
The comedy in this particular instance comes not in the coat hanger but that the idea of using such a thing is ludicrous.
+Agimaso Schandir no, the coat hanger reference isn't meant to be ludacris, it's meant to be shocking! When abortion was still illegal in the US coat hangers were among some of the "tools" which were used to perform the procedure. The results of illegal abortions were disastrous to the woman's health and life. Septic shock, vaginal lacerations, perforated uterus and death can result from illegal abortions. It's the reason why abortions were made legal because they are going to be performed regardless of the risks, its better to have them done by a safe medical procedure.
+1955RodHot Nope - I laughed my ass off too. I have a very dark sense of humor...
As a feminist, I can say I found that moment to be hilarious as well. XD It's shocking and absurd but the God character is already made out to be a despicable character, so it's expected that we should object to the things he supports. The timing and sound cues fed into the comedy a lot as well.
No way a 2000 year old sandal wearer from an arid region would have toe fungus. That stuff loves closed spaces and humidity.
I am from an arid region of India. Here, old people get toe nail fungus, mostly in rainy seasons.
Dont let anyone stop your work DarkMatter! its an inspiration! :)
I can’t believe so many people worship this guy! we do live in the 21st century so something like this shouldn’t come as a surprise but damn!
absolutely brilliant! I just discovered your channel recently and it's incredibly well done....a cartoon form of some of the responses I give when people ask me why I'm an agnostic/de-facto athiest!
I'll def. be looking forward to new episodes, I absolutely love the Yahweh character!!
It never gets old when God freaks out on Jeffrey 😆
Brought REAL tears of laughter to MY eyes!
The soda can sound when he kills the bird... Idk why but that one did me in 🤣
"What you're gonna want to do is called praying to peel away. Pray to me, God, to get rid of the peel for you."
LMAO.
The coat hanger was great😂😂
"Like the virgin, Mary?"
I was laughing my ass of then!
24 When Saul’s servants told him what David had said, 25 Saul replied, “Say to David, ‘The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.’” Saul’s plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines. 26 When
the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the
king’s son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, 27 David
took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines
and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to
the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul
gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.
yay forskins
Okay
Hm must have been a casual thing back then
Oh my Zeus, I love this channel. One of the best videos I've seen yet from @DarkMatter2525
Can,t get enough from this, you should made something like this about the islam too.
I love the sound effect of a can opening when God pops the top on that bird
You gotta admire god man, even if you are an atheist... The guy has a hell of a sense of humor haha
Agreed.
*Hiding BeHind a RAG, is just as SICK, as Hiding BeHind a BiBLe!!!!*
Hes so evil it makes him sympathetic
I love that you put in the Bible verses so people can look it up themselves I like to trust but verify and this is very helpful in doing that. The startling thing is that we were taught any of these things growing up and no one really preaches on them so finding this stuff out for the first time your whole world gets flipped turned upside down. The Bible is a lot more whack than most Christian’s like to admit. I always remembered growing up hearing about how atheists would always talk about how horrible the Bible is and stuff and we were always told no it’s not but never were we really encouraged to read all of it as kids you just sorta relied on what everyone else was telling you about it because obviously the teachers must have read it all. But conveniently much of it is left completely out of discussion. Even having done Bible quizzing as a kid they only picked a handful of books to study each year usually only one and usually they were some of the more standard ones and for kids quizzing they would cut out chapters that were too adult like all the incest in genesis and rape and child sacrifice in judges etc. things would get seriously dumbed down and so you never really fully understood what was going on and it was all framed in a way that you didn’t see the horror in it. It’s honestly kinda whack looking back at it now and I still at the moment loosely consider myself a Christian although I’m leaning pretty heavily now toward not.
Is it possible we could just...y'know - fire God? Then, maybe, have Jeffery take his place..? It's just that, God really seems to SUCK at his job, y'know?
PeteTheGrouch all summed up in a mocking propaganda cartoon. Smart crowd. Funny video. I have bible study tonight. I'm interested. Is that a crime...and open mind? I also participate in reiki and other healing practices...real or not...they keep me centered. My choice. Non ya business :)
Im also interested in the deepest oceans and infinite universe..and all the unknown possibilities...imagination and curiosity are alright...creative cartoon!
@@noomiblumquist2450 what?
#10 I can relate. I think me and God finally found something in common.
I love it everytime Jeffrey says "what?!"
3:30 "...so that I may more easily enjoy your gift of sustenance" LMAOOOO
THE COAT HANGER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Hobosdkcheese my abortion was evil. The Dr was high im pretty sure. :( im a god person. And?
Bruh I was laughing too...😂
I should totally try to ask a priest to remove the mold from my bathroom ceiling pointing at the appropriate verses, just to see his reaction.
I have no fucking clue what they were thinking when they wrote the Bible
Mason's Mocs Look at it as mythology..entertainment even. What were they thinking when they wrote anything ever
Mason's Mocs I don't think they were thinking at all
Or they were high one of the two
Sorry for bad grammar
Imagine Jeffrey as god
We would have a pretty perfect world.
How so or someone perfect world..
The world will actually make sense
Lmao Jeffism
Seems like God & Donald Trump go to the same barber.
I'm trying the banana hack but for some reason it is not working. Does anyone of you have managed to make t work? What can I be doing wrong?
***** A hammer did not work either. I prayed a lot to God to peel the banana with a hammer and nothing happened. I thought maybe God did not have a hammer and I even bought one for him to use. But even leaving the hammer next to the the banana and asking my friend to pray with me nothing happened. I'm disappointed. Does anyone was successful at all?
+Anton Marcos Kammerer Grenades works every time for me.
Lukas Re I've tried everything! Grenades. plastic explosives, knives, peelers, sandpaper, M9 ... Which leads me to think that the problem lies in prayer. Does anyone know a good prayer? And do you believe that doing some offering to god would help? Does God like Kit Kat?
***** I bought a goat and left him next to a knife. I prayed to Satan to sacrifice this goat. Did not work. The goat is still alive and my banana was not peeled off. I tried to pray for Satan to peel the banana himself. Nothing happened. I did not realize that praying was something so complicated. I decided to buy the book Christian Prayer For Dummies. It was a waste of money and time. No single tip of this book worked. Maybe God could be on vacation? Or maybe it's Holiday in Paradise or wherever he lives? Hope my prayer went to his mailbox and he will help me later..
+Anton Marcos Kammerer
You gonna starve.
Came back to this classic
This is my favorite video Darkmatter 😂😂😂😂😂
Here's a life hack I've encountered a few times:
How to demonize atheism:
Step 1: Accuse all atheists of hating all Christians. Unfortunately, many atheists will refute this by saying that they have many Christian friends, and that they respect each other's opinions.
Step 2: Argue that any Christian who respects the opinion of an atheist is not a true Christian. By redefining Christianity, it is impossible, by definition, for Christians and atheists to get along.
Step 3: Forget about the loophole that allows Step 2 to reinforce Step 1, and pretend that Step 1 is the atheist's fault.
+NonSmokingAddict
Atheism is a troll religion. Perfect for the characters on the internet who dont truly believe in anything and hate things they ironically cant stop watching or talking about. lol.
+The Truth Actually no, we criticize and ridicule Christianity because if atheists do not fight back, Christians will turn this country into a theocracy as apposed to the secular nation we are. If atheists do not fight back Christians will deny the right to pursue happiness to anyone they deem as immoral or not to their standard of morality. If atheists do not fight back Christians will stifle any science they deem as not in agreement with their beliefs, prime example, evolution. If atheists do not fight back Christians will white wash history for their own ends. If atheists do nothing we could end up with a right wing extremist as our president. If atheists do nothing, the evil of Christianity will run unchecked here in America. That is why we criticize and ridicule Christianity.
Mike J When you say "Christians," I assume you are referring to the worst variety among them. See my original comment.
***** Atheism is as much a religion as not smoking is an addiction. Hence my sarcastic user name.
***** Congratulations. You did exactly what I described in step 1.
My turn: As an atheist, I have several Christian friends who respect my opinion as much as I respect theirs.
If you stoop to step 2, then that would make you more of an idiot than the last person to do so, given the fact that I logically laid out the problem right here.
it doesn't get old... 😂 😂 lol. I've seen a few times 😂 everytime is just like the first!
😑
Haider Alyacoub what does “😑” mean
Jeffery is my favorite character
Oh that virgin merry line was so on point
Your videos are hilarious. Your one of my favorite TH-cam's now😂😂
This sky phone is useless! I need to upgrade to a galaxy!
That's pretty smart XD
+Kansas Devil (Devil66102) will do!
+Official ChaseMyFlow
iPhone Mk. II, with "the ability to see into every possibility".
+Advanced Prime
bitches don't know about muh multiverse phone 64
+furseisekilulz i know dat phone!
10-play caramelldansen everyday so you don't hear them
9-eat the peel first
8-YeeTtus FeTus deletus the meaTus
7-forepods
6- petrol fumes
5-th-cam.com/video/Nks56doHGU0/w-d-xo.html
4-youtu.be/1qT-_DPK4
3-why get rid of it
it tastes fine
3.2-Would you like my rod, or this rod?
2-SNU SNU
1-scalp the little hairless rat
The irony that an add for a Christian singles dating app played before the video is amazing.
Good to know whoever created the universe is watching Jesus and and angel fighting and yelling "WORLDSTARR!!"
I was hoping God would provide at least one useful life hack.
+Christie Nel Keep hoping!! lol
foreskin fights sound pretty fun.
+Ethan Taylor yeah I think I have buch of them in a jar some where around here.
+Christie Nel He's a little behind the times in that for many practical applications these days, foreskins have largely been replaced by rubber bands.
I found how to hack a man pretty helpful XD
I always like before i watch :)
Well no matter what you're going to say Christians are still going to say that god works in mysterious ways and our minds is too feeble compare to god to understand his works.
Technically I could use that excuse and create my own religion 😊
😂😂😂😂😂
NH Official - If you did, you’d get immediate government assistance and a 100% tax break.
No matter what they say atheism is fallacy
@Σאgßと Isaac Newton and Galileo Galilei is far more brilliant than Charles Darwin lol.., Science explain what God has made.
u know i asked myself y did God flood the world to get rid of evil yet here we are in 2017 with more evil now than then
7:51 "HAHAH, I just wanna see if they'll actually do it" >!>!> OMFGGG AOJSOPJASPOFJFP JOAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA LMAOO!!!!!!!!
I'm a Christian and I love these videos, weird I know lol
Me too
Haha, yeah same. Shh, don't tell my Christian friends.
Kay Lynn lol
+Kay Lynn Whats bad is im in bible college :p
+CrystalAngel23 Cool. What are you studying to be there?
Jesus' toenails cracked me up. I have no idea why I found them so funny...
That foreskin skit got me dying.😂😂😂😂