Mom is living her life her way. The daughter never grieved the loss of her parents marriage--she wanted more than their relationship could be. I also think shes still grieving her dad and the support that he was in her life. She's attempting to impose things on her mom that she's unable to give. I hope they continue working through their issues to a positive resolution.
Her mom telling her to not cry was the first red flag that she’s not emotionally supportive- a major valid reason for a daughter to resent a mother figure. The mom sounds narcissistic - always looking for greener grass and entitlement. When the daughter is asking for family to feel prioritized and cared about at important moments of their lives- the mom prioritizes herself and her men, instead of investing in memories with family. Also the mothers issues with bringing strange men home- is why I chose to not associate with alcohol. People make their own choices and we have to know that we can’t rely on those people or their choices. I don’t know if I ever believe in balance for “fun” involved with alcohol because I never seen healthy choices with it. So ya the parents relationship was their relationship, but the moms relationship with the daughters children is like she’s treating the children how she treated her father. It’s very clear the mother feels entitled to herself because she feels as though she sacrificed her whole life to them even though she chose to birth them with the man. The daughter wants emotional support of a feeling of trust and her mother is emotionally unavailable to her- a sense of stability, that family foundation of love for her children. Neither are wrong. The daughter just needs to drop the mom and let her be, but to stop funding the mother to stay in her life. Let the mother work for it if she really wants it. But don’t try to chase after a fantasy of a close knit family with your mom. Instead of fighting with her mom, she could be making new memories with her children. Or she accepts her mom for who she is and finds her to keep her in her children’s lives but this could keep the cycle going of feeling like the mother takes more than she gives. 🤷🏻♀️ the mother gonna gas light you and tell you she love you but it’s not the love that’s gonna meet your needs (understanding, support, respect). You would be forcing her to stay in your life to meet your families needs. Nobody owes nobody. Let it play out, if it stresses you out- don’t give more energy or attention to it. It’s like paying debt, once you pay the bill and your done with it. Do you want to keep your credit card to keep staying in debt and always paying it off or do you want to be free and grateful for what you already have with you presently? It’s everyone’s individual choice, it’s about how badly you want it. Is it worth all the pain? Like if you want credit, fine. You now have proof of how much of a great provider you are- but at what cost? Your sanity? The priority is always self, so no ones wrong here- it’s just expectations clashing. Lessons needing to play out to be learned, to learn how to listen to yourself. Your mom does it for herself, she won’t do it for you- so do it for yourself. It’s not a bad lesson to be learned. It’s a hard lesson. Men, daughters, son, mothers- in all different relationships need to learn this for themselves. E
As a daughter whose mom was reared in the South, (we were taught certain values), one being not to disrespect your parents. My grandma said, 'I have lived longer than you, but you have yet to be as old as I am' When I don't agree with my mother I politely say, Yes ma'am, No ma'am and thats the end of the disagree. I'm appauled at this daughter's unwarranted desire to control her mother's life. This was difficult to watch. So when do the mother get a break? She's suppose to give up her Entire life even after her children are grown. This daughter ! I can't! Mom keep continuing to do you, b/c at the end of the day I doubt it if she'll be the same way with her children. Disgusting!
These types of problems need to be treated because when you resent your mother, slowly but surely that respect you had for your parents, starts leaving.
Daughter is still 16 yrs old emotionally who clearly idealised her father. Problem is when you put someone on a pedestal you can easily fail to see their flaws.
Daughter is grown. She needs to leave her Mom alone to live her own life. She clearly wants something from her mother, but cannot even define what it is.
Both mother and daughter both have good points , but Damn 30 yrs to have resentment. That's way too much time to rent space in my brain for that energy.
That mother is being scammed, SO obviously. The sad part is that some people want attention from strangers so badly that they don't see what's happening right in front of their own face.
my oldest daughter hates me for divorcing her dad .......he was the one that broke the marriage by a horrid, degrading infidelity.......he was my love, but broke me....i moved on and she has blamed me since 1978......it is what it is.....i am at peace living in the country with 6 rescue dogs....
We just wish that our parents could be perfect ... because some parents act like they are perfect and you are dumbfounded when you grow up and realize just how human and imperfect they are. Some parents are trapped in treating their adult children the way they have done all the growing up years and that's when they get into trouble. Only answer is exactly what Mel proposed to Tera. You just gotta realize, no matter what comes out of their mouths, that they are imperfect and not any better or worse than you. Take it with a grain of salt and do what you want! \
Sounds like mom is selfish with those excuses. Daughter paying for trips for mom to see her children and grandchildren. Why couldn't her soon to be "husband" pay for the trip. He sounds like a charmer so far and daughter has constantly been the adult.
This generation of children feel like they should tell their parents what they should do with their life. Especially the one that have chosen to have children late in life. That grandma in the rocking chair is gone.
This lady is ready for a rude awakening. Typical woman who is desperate for love. My friend almost got taken advantage by an African man. He did the exact same thing this man did, praised her, complimented her etc. Asked her to bring him to this country. She didn't fall for it, and later found out that he was married. All he wanted was a ticket to the US.
I agree the mom has every right to live her life the way she wants after raising her children. I think the daughter looks down on it because the mom acts like a college girl on Spring Break looking to hook up with someone new. She wants her mom to behave like a real "grandma." Well, she is not like every grandma out there. Her mom is her mom. I don't know if she chooses the right kind of men or she is seeking validation from them because she has had a number of failed relationships in the past. But, she is who she is.
2:47 Did Tara or whoever she is just say her mum went to Africa to marry a guy who lives in a puddle of water?? Honey ... we really don’t need them GreenCards to survive !! Look at George Floyd. Africa is amazing and beautiful and our black lives matter here. I would urge her to take a trip to Jamaica or Africa and open herself up to new experiences like her Mum.
Some Daddies treat the girl like a princess when relationship is sour w wife. She probably had daddy wrapped around her finger and she was the center of his life. She wants too much from Mom. Dang lots of woman have no Grandma back up sitter. Calling each other every day? That's a lot. There is more to this. Daughter is demanding. Daddy probably never told her No. She acts entitled.
Why is everyone on the side of the mother?! The daughter paid for her to see her own grandchildren! That is totally inappropriate. By the way, tooting your own horn about raising your kids and saying you deserve a vacation for it, but not paying to go visit your adult kids and grandkids is selfish. Raising your kids is a minimum expectation. It's clear where that grandmother's values lie. Also, taking money from your grandchildren, especially when married to some dude is off the charts wrong!
The daughter needs to get herself in therapy. If she 45 still sitting crying about how her mother treated her father her ex husband during a divorce. Who been dead five years.Been divorced since she was 16.Girl snatch you a life ! Her parents marriage is none of her damn business.The daughters children are her responsibility. She can't realistically expect her newly married mother to be her kids uber and nanny.When will she feel her 66 year old mother is entitled to her own life. And Mel is right.If this grandmother ain't got time for family don't want them in her relationship business. She shouldn't be asking the daughter nor her children for any damn money. Let her husband who she claims own a printing business support her.And if the granddaughter feel like the grandmother needs so much care.She should move her 80 something grandmother in with her. If she so about family. Like her mother said she don't understand what being married is.The mother went through a lot with her father and didn't throw the father under the bus.Her father went to Vietnam a lot of those men came back alcoholics and drug addicts suffering from what they didn't know then but .We now know is PTSD.They can be hard people to live with. Just because she seen her father work 3-4 jobs don't mean he wasn't a jerk as a husband who cheated on her mother. The daughter needs to live her life be there for her own children.And stop talking about the grandmother with all that bitter resentment to her own children. If her son oldest to be in the militarily. He oldest enough to express his feelings about the grandmothers absent directly to her.The daughter needs to stay out that adult grandson and grandmother relationship. The daughter is trying to micro manage her mothers time and life.She wants her mothers life to be all about her and her children. But have no interest in her mothers life and what makes her mother happy.
And her daughter right about how her mother needs to pick better men who are not broke that's where her mother is messing up ( with the men she picks ).
Hoooooorrible Selfish, mother, I undertand the resentment of that girl even been a grown up, Min19:12 daoughter does not get corresponder to make eye contact, the mother is too proud to accept wrong. The mother is empty out and inside and she just keeps chassing for what she is lacking on, she will never get tired of looking love and will continue in the same pattern, she will never realize she needs to love HER, not anibody esle but her. And is not a matter of been an abnegated grand ma, I mean she can live her life, she deserves it, what I mean it is not using people around you at your convenience, daughter, grand kids, etc. PS: and as Mel said, to fix that relation ship, it won`t take another show or 10 more, it woudl take another life, it is so much resentment and non of them are endeed willing to fix their relation ship from core. If I was the daughter I would just accept mom has been this way since forever and just move on, let the time heal the pain.
Sigh, if only I still had my mom 😢. Your mom is who she is. She married a potential scammer imo. Distant yourself and get on with your life. Your mom may then come around. Both of them have huge chips on their shoulders and like attitudes.
Lordy I would never bring a broke ANYTHING into my home. Actually I did that once.......I LEARNED! No one will ever move into my house or expect to inherit it. That will all, eventually, go to my child, her husband and my grand children. Even though they can well afford all of that, my parents struggled for 50 years to amass what they acquired. I will never give it to a nobody from nowhere. That’s like disrespecting my parents efforts. Now if I want a man that badly I will simply move into his hut, and turn the property over to my child and her family.
I understand the daughter view because of her dad! Young lady is hurting from her dad! Darling please you need to move on please! I think you need to move on and stop tormenting yourself, let your mom move on and both live your life!, if mom wanna go marry man needing GREEN CARD no loan of money none,
Her mother is a much better mother than my mother is so I don't understand why her daughter is so hurt, her mother was responsible and sensible as a parent. Her daughter is just a daddy's girl and a cry baby and somewhat manipulative.
People have worse lives than you could ever imagine. Girl you got to let go! and stop controlling to ward off past pains. Yeah, just like her dad? possibly controlling and manipulative? Hmm..... If she went to Africa maybe she's broke now? Smh. Amazing this chick!
Shessh..Dont grown up see n UNDERSTAND that We as Moms are only Human n WE mite have been SUFFERING but we're there as Best ad we could. Hearing that young man say his mom Was THERE in the Only way she could at the TIME n try to understand it could have bn WORSE....ALL I HEAR IS EVERYTHING IS MOMS FAULT..WHAT ABOYT HER...WHO WAS THERE FOR HER???💔💔IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE HE WISHED IT HAD BEEN HER THAT GOT KILLED..SAD FOR HER MOM TOO....This generation is SELFISH...
Mel is so intellectual and loving
Mom is living her life her way. The daughter never grieved the loss of her parents marriage--she wanted more than their relationship could be. I also think shes still grieving her dad and the support that he was in her life. She's attempting to impose things on her mom that she's unable to give. I hope they continue working through their issues to a positive resolution.
Her mom telling her to not cry was the first red flag that she’s not emotionally supportive- a major valid reason for a daughter to resent a mother figure. The mom sounds narcissistic - always looking for greener grass and entitlement. When the daughter is asking for family to feel prioritized and cared about at important moments of their lives- the mom prioritizes herself and her men, instead of investing in memories with family. Also the mothers issues with bringing strange men home- is why I chose to not associate with alcohol. People make their own choices and we have to know that we can’t rely on those people or their choices. I don’t know if I ever believe in balance for “fun” involved with alcohol because I never seen healthy choices with it. So ya the parents relationship was their relationship, but the moms relationship with the daughters children is like she’s treating the children how she treated her father. It’s very clear the mother feels entitled to herself because she feels as though she sacrificed her whole life to them even though she chose to birth them with the man. The daughter wants emotional support of a feeling of trust and her mother is emotionally unavailable to her- a sense of stability, that family foundation of love for her children. Neither are wrong. The daughter just needs to drop the mom and let her be, but to stop funding the mother to stay in her life. Let the mother work for it if she really wants it. But don’t try to chase after a fantasy of a close knit family with your mom. Instead of fighting with her mom, she could be making new memories with her children. Or she accepts her mom for who she is and finds her to keep her in her children’s lives but this could keep the cycle going of feeling like the mother takes more than she gives. 🤷🏻♀️ the mother gonna gas light you and tell you she love you but it’s not the love that’s gonna meet your needs (understanding, support, respect). You would be forcing her to stay in your life to meet your families needs. Nobody owes nobody. Let it play out, if it stresses you out- don’t give more energy or attention to it. It’s like paying debt, once you pay the bill and your done with it. Do you want to keep your credit card to keep staying in debt and always paying it off or do you want to be free and grateful for what you already have with you presently? It’s everyone’s individual choice, it’s about how badly you want it. Is it worth all the pain? Like if you want credit, fine. You now have proof of how much of a great provider you are- but at what cost? Your sanity? The priority is always self, so no ones wrong here- it’s just expectations clashing. Lessons needing to play out to be learned, to learn how to listen to yourself. Your mom does it for herself, she won’t do it for you- so do it for yourself. It’s not a bad lesson to be learned. It’s a hard lesson. Men, daughters, son, mothers- in all different relationships need to learn this for themselves. E
Don’t cancel the Mel Robbins show. Please!!!
THE MORE ANGER YOU HOLD IN YOUR HEART TOWARDS THE PAST,THE LESS YOU ARE CAPABLE OF LOVING THE PRESENT 👑
The moment she said Lagos, Nigeria was a wrap. lol
As a daughter whose mom was reared in the South, (we were taught certain values), one being not to disrespect your parents. My grandma said, 'I have lived longer than you, but you have yet to be as old as I am' When I don't agree with my mother I politely say, Yes ma'am, No ma'am and thats the end of the disagree. I'm appauled at this daughter's unwarranted desire to control her mother's life. This was difficult to watch.
So when do the mother get a break? She's suppose to give up her Entire life even after her children are grown. This daughter ! I can't! Mom keep continuing to do you, b/c at the end of the day I doubt it if she'll be the same way with her children. Disgusting!
These types of problems need to be treated because when you resent your mother, slowly but surely that respect you had for your parents, starts leaving.
Awe she misses her dad..
I hope they both find healing.
Awww it’s like she’s a hurt little girl til this day. So sad to see her sadness.
Daughter is still 16 yrs old emotionally who clearly idealised her father. Problem is when you put someone on a pedestal you can easily fail to see their flaws.
Baby girl -- you don't know the whole story!!! Please move on with your own life. He was a great daddy but probably a mean husband (usually the case).
the daughters talking out of pain of her fathers passing and taking it out on her mother
I had no idea how you were going to have a happy stopping point with these two! YOU DID IT!!!!! Love your show! Your amazing. I have learned a lot.
Excuse me do you have the episode about saying no and creating boundaries??? I missed it and I NEED to see it!! Thank you!
Divorce is so damaging and has long term consequences on children.There should have been some counseling for the whole family.
She wants her mother to be her babysitter since she is career driven.
Daughter is grown. She needs to leave her Mom alone to live her own life. She clearly wants something from her mother, but cannot even define what it is.
Sounds like the daughter wants a live in assistant.
She's just hurt. She was 16 when her parents divorced. She never got over it . She was a daddy girl. So it's hurt her alot.
Both mother and daughter both have good points , but Damn 30 yrs to have resentment. That's way too much time to rent space in my brain for that energy.
That mother is being scammed, SO obviously. The sad part is that some people want attention from strangers so badly that they don't see what's happening right in front of their own face.
my oldest daughter hates me for divorcing her dad .......he was the one that broke the marriage by a horrid, degrading infidelity.......he was my love, but broke me....i moved on and she has blamed me since 1978......it is what it is.....i am at peace living in the country with 6 rescue dogs....
God bless you lady. Your daughter should knew that you couldn't get over a bad marriage and no love and infidelity.
We just wish that our parents could be perfect ... because some parents act like they are perfect and you are dumbfounded when you grow up and realize just how human and imperfect they are. Some parents are trapped in treating their adult children the way they have done all the growing up years and that's when they get into trouble. Only answer is exactly what Mel proposed to Tera. You just gotta realize, no matter what comes out of their mouths, that they are imperfect and not any better or worse than you. Take it with a grain of salt and do what you want!
\
Different priorities. Daughter wants her mom to prioritize family over men
She COULD NOT keep asking my children for money.
Mom can see her grandkids when she wants and how she wants. She can marry who she wants to marry. Stop trying to control her.
Sounds like mom is selfish with those excuses. Daughter paying for trips for mom to see her children and grandchildren. Why couldn't her soon to be "husband" pay for the trip. He sounds like a charmer so far and daughter has constantly been the adult.
Bree Wheel ~ Completely agree. So surprised how everyone seems to be on the mom’s side.
Mel is legend for getting that loving ending to this conversation 🙌💖💖💖💖
This generation of children feel like they should tell their parents what they should do with their life. Especially the one that have chosen to have children late in life. That grandma in the rocking chair is gone.
Not the whole generation. My daughters are nothing like this. Please don't generalize.
Mel keeps it Real
Perhaps on this show she should have brought one out at a time.
This lady is ready for a rude awakening. Typical woman who is desperate for love. My friend almost got taken advantage by an African man. He did the exact same thing this man did, praised her, complimented her etc. Asked her to bring him to this country. She didn't fall for it, and later found out that he was married. All he wanted was a ticket to the US.
I agree the mom has every right to live her life the way she wants after raising her children. I think the daughter looks down on it because the mom acts like a college girl on Spring Break looking to hook up with someone new. She wants her mom to behave like a real "grandma." Well, she is not like every grandma out there. Her mom is her mom. I don't know if she chooses the right kind of men or she is seeking validation from them because she has had a number of failed relationships in the past. But, she is who she is.
2:47 Did Tara or whoever she is just say her mum went to Africa to marry a guy who lives in a puddle of water?? Honey ... we really don’t need them GreenCards to survive !! Look at George Floyd. Africa is amazing and beautiful and our black lives matter here. I would urge her to take a trip to Jamaica or Africa and open herself up to new experiences like her Mum.
They need some good family therapy to work out all these deep issues. I hope they get the help they need.
Lady-you are a grown ass woman! Your parents divorced-it happens
Some Daddies treat the girl like a princess when relationship is sour w wife. She probably had daddy wrapped around her finger and she was the center of his life. She wants too much from Mom. Dang lots of woman have no Grandma back up sitter. Calling each other every day? That's a lot. There is more to this. Daughter is demanding. Daddy probably never told her No. She acts entitled.
Why is everyone on the side of the mother?! The daughter paid for her to see her own grandchildren! That is totally inappropriate. By the way, tooting your own horn about raising your kids and saying you deserve a vacation for it, but not paying to go visit your adult kids and grandkids is selfish. Raising your kids is a minimum expectation. It's clear where that grandmother's values lie. Also, taking money from your grandchildren, especially when married to some dude is off the charts wrong!
The daughter needs to get herself in therapy. If she 45 still sitting crying about how her mother treated her father her ex husband during a divorce. Who been dead five years.Been divorced since she was 16.Girl snatch you a life !
Her parents marriage is none of her damn business.The daughters children are her responsibility. She can't realistically expect her newly married mother to be her kids uber and nanny.When will she feel her 66 year old mother is entitled to her own life.
And Mel is right.If this grandmother ain't got time for family don't want them in her relationship business. She shouldn't be asking the daughter nor her children for any damn money. Let her husband who she claims own a printing business support her.And if the granddaughter feel like the grandmother needs so much care.She should move her 80 something grandmother in with her. If she so about family. Like her mother said she don't understand what being married is.The mother went through a lot with her father and didn't throw the father under the bus.Her father went to Vietnam a lot of those men came back alcoholics and drug addicts suffering from what they didn't know then but .We now know is PTSD.They can be hard people to live with. Just because she seen her father work 3-4 jobs don't mean he wasn't a jerk as a husband who cheated on her mother. The daughter needs to live her life be there for her own children.And stop talking about the grandmother with all that bitter resentment to her own children. If her son oldest to be in the militarily. He oldest enough to express his feelings about the grandmothers absent directly to her.The daughter needs to stay out that adult grandson and grandmother relationship. The daughter is trying to micro manage her mothers time and life.She wants her mothers life to be all about her and her children. But have no interest in her mothers life and what makes her mother happy.
OMG the only thing that I noticed is that the husband ( fromLagos, Nigeria!) sounds like a scammer😅
Girl leave your Mama alone,
And her daughter right about how her mother needs to pick better men who are not broke that's where her mother is messing up ( with the men she picks ).
My Mom, pitted us 6 kids, against ea other! So therefore, family is So Split up! More to it then that!
Hoooooorrible Selfish, mother, I undertand the resentment of that girl even been a grown up, Min19:12 daoughter does not get corresponder to make eye contact, the mother is too proud to accept wrong. The mother is empty out and inside and she just keeps chassing for what she is lacking on, she will never get tired of looking love and will continue in the same pattern, she will never realize she needs to love HER, not anibody esle but her. And is not a matter of been an abnegated grand ma, I mean she can live her life, she deserves it, what I mean it is not using people around you at your convenience, daughter, grand kids, etc.
PS: and as Mel said, to fix that relation ship, it won`t take another show or 10 more, it woudl take another life, it is so much resentment and non of them are endeed willing to fix their relation ship from core. If I was the daughter I would just accept mom has been this way since forever and just move on, let the time heal the pain.
Sigh, if only I still had my mom 😢. Your mom is who she is. She married a potential scammer imo. Distant yourself and get on with your life. Your mom may then come around. Both of them have huge chips on their shoulders and like attitudes.
How is grandma getting the money to travel so much
Lordy I would never bring a broke ANYTHING into my home. Actually I did that once.......I LEARNED! No one will ever move into my house or expect to inherit it. That will all, eventually, go to my child, her husband and my grand children. Even though they can well afford all of that, my parents struggled for 50 years to amass what they acquired. I will never give it to a nobody from nowhere. That’s like disrespecting my parents efforts. Now if I want a man that badly I will simply move into his hut, and turn the property over to my child and her family.
Career driven and she is a mother🤔
I know this is old but as soon as I started watching it I smelled a catfish
I understand the daughter view because of her dad! Young lady is hurting from her dad! Darling please you need to move on please! I think you need to move on and stop tormenting yourself, let your mom move on and both live your life!, if mom wanna go marry man needing GREEN CARD no loan of money none,
The daughter needs a man.
Her mother is a much better mother than my mother is so I don't understand why her daughter is so hurt, her mother was responsible and sensible as a parent. Her daughter is just a daddy's girl and a cry baby and somewhat manipulative.
People have worse lives than you could ever imagine. Girl you got to let go! and stop controlling to ward off past pains. Yeah, just like her dad? possibly controlling and manipulative? Hmm..... If she went to Africa maybe she's broke now? Smh. Amazing this chick!
The mom is right she is leaving her life
Shessh..Dont grown up see n UNDERSTAND that We as Moms are only Human n WE mite have been SUFFERING but we're there as Best ad we could. Hearing that young man say his mom Was THERE in the Only way she could at the TIME n try to understand it could have bn WORSE....ALL I HEAR IS EVERYTHING IS MOMS FAULT..WHAT ABOYT HER...WHO WAS THERE FOR HER???💔💔IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE HE WISHED IT HAD BEEN HER THAT GOT KILLED..SAD FOR HER MOM TOO....This generation is SELFISH...
They should be on Maury not Mel
The mom is just stubborn and selfish
This isn't Black people's costom
daughter is bitter. Mind your business girl
Bitter, nah grieving
Yang pilih allah like.
Am I first?
They both look really mean..........
So do you. What is a "mean" look.