What is Emotional Sobriety? Interview with Dr Allen Berger

PH.D. Allen Berger
(Starts with reading of excerpt of Bill Wilson Grapevine article about Emotional Sobriety)
Dr. Berger is an internationally recognized expert in family and couples therapy, and in the science of addiction and recovery. He is best known for his work on integrating modern psychotherapy with the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and for his insights into emotional sobriety. He is also recognized for his outstanding work as a psychotherapist and trainer.
He brings a highly unique background to his profession. His own personal journey in recovery started in 1971, on the beautiful island of Oahu, Hawaii. There he fell in love with recovery and with helping people find their way out of the abyss of addiction into the light of recovery. He overcame dropping out of high school, and received a doctorate in clinical psychology from UC Davis in 1987.He was trained and mentored by two brilliant clinicians: William C. Rader, M.D. and Walter Kempler, M.D..
Dr. Berger has a reputation as being a very dynamic and engaging presenter, as well as a very practical, "no-nonsense" therapist. He has presented at IDAA Annual Meetings, the Betty Ford Awareness Hours, Cedars at Cobble Hill in Canada, Cumberland Heights in Nashville - Tennessee, The Orchard - Canada, The Refuge - Florida, the Alcohol Recovery Services at San Pedro Peninsula Hospital and South Bay Hospital.
He is the author of several journal articles as well as two books: Love Secrets - Revealed (HCI Books, 2006) and the Best Seller, 12 Stupid Things that Mess up Recovery (Hazelden, 2008)). His pamphlet How to Get the Most out of Group Therapy (Hazelden, 2007) helps new admissions understand the process of group therapy and how to use the group to optimize their experience in treatment.
His office is located in Southern California where he divides his time amongst private practice, teaching, writing and playing tennis.
See us live every Monday at zoom us02web.zoom.us/j/88215498348
8pm UK/3pm EST/12pm PST
Zoom ID 882 1549 348 password Tom
Join our Facebook Page ‘Here’s Tom with the weather’ at / 314088509589654
To see past episodes, join the ‘Here’s Tom with the Weather’ TH-cam Channel here: / @herestomwiththeweathe...

[@amyboyer6712]

Really great episode and I found it very helpful. Respectfully, I wanted to make a comment on one thing I heard that didn’t sit right toward the end.
I was a bit disturbed by the answer given to the woman who didn’t want to be touched from behind by a particular person and had tried repeatedly to set her boundary only to have it ignored. The advice , as I understood it, was basically to change her mindset around it so that it wouldn’t disturb her so much. While I think that reflection and understanding on her part is an important element, there’s also the aspect of this other person touching her when she doesn’t want it and that needs to stop. If she doesn’t want to be touched and has repeatedly made it clear that she doesn’t want to be touched then simply advising her to change her mindset so she doesn’t suffer so much about it isn’t helpful and in some cases could be quite demoralizing for someone who is trying to practice using their voice and setting boundaries. It sounded like it put her in a position where she would have to keep dealing with this behavior and work on herself so it didn’t bother her. I really felt for her when I heard Dr. Berger’s advice. I believe he meant very well, and I kept hoping I’d hear him add something that would point her in the direction of what to actually do about the unwanted touching. I just know that if I had heard that advice it would have reinforced my early programming that I have to let other other do things that make me feel uncomfortable in my body in order to stay safe or not cause problems. I have no idea what this woman’s situation is but I’m just sharing how it came across from someone who has similar feelings and reactions to being touched in certain ways. If her body is reacting to touch as if it’s unsafe then there’s a reason for it. Help her to get the touching to stop and then focus on self reflection would be my advice.
Again, loved the episode and found it very refreshing to hear Dr.Berger’s perspective and experience with working toward and maintaining emotional sobriety. Thanks for your good work with this podcast.

[@kimberliekranich3465]

I agree, Amy. That's not the advice I would give to a woman who asks for help when a person repeatedly touches her after being told no. And then right afterwards to joke about the Peanuts comic strip and the psychiatric advice for 5¢ seemed pretty tone deaf to me. The discussion prior to that was empowering to me.

[@beholden2874]

@@kimberliekranich3465yes I agree it could be interpreted as “ victim blaming”- although I don’t think that was Dr. Berger’s intentions. Whenever I hear a podcast on recover I usually take what I need and can currently utilize but leave on the shelf, what may not be helpful to me.