The English language isn't complex enough to encapsulate the specifics of what he's trying to get at, such is the reason we use metaphor and simile in the first place. To describe something we don't have the words to, say clinically, describe. Same is done with stories, at least the more intricate ones. Being able to identify them is a skill of its own.
He was younger in this video , if he knew that he will get very ill and went to Russia to get help , he would say its nonsense. The same is happening with us , if have the ability to see the futur what would we do ! The funny thing is that we always hope for the best , we wait for those great times to come, we forget that the good and the bad times are intrinsically intertwined . If you want to know about the real meaning of you life please watch my playlist.
@@watchmyplaylist2198 You mean the Qur'an ? I read it. Few years ago Islam was a big topic where i live and media told me that Islamic terrorism has nothing to do with Islam and I believed it and defended Islam as just another religion same as the others. But i like to hear things directly from tge horses mouth so i decided to read it myself. One of the scariest books someone who is not a Muslim could read. Strongly disliked it. If i would believe it's the true word of good i would likely be a terrorist. Anyway. I hope your struggles will end soon and you will be richly rewarded for enduring them all.
I think that an akward moment like when you don't know when and how to end a conversation is an indicator that social human interactions themselves are still under a process of development. An akward moment happens when a person faces a situation when they don't know what to do due to a lack of social rules for that specific moment
In Asian cultures the small talk is much more formulaic and formalized, so actually it doesn't have as much awkwardness as when westerners make small talk. Partly to do with Asian culture which is not individualistic and expects you to follow the formula, so the only awkwardness that happens is when the formula is broken, and in those cases its a loss of face. The Asian cultures have awkwardness kind of built in, so that you don't have to consciously handle it.
You're telling me. Talking about getting resentment from being farked around..... possibly by white women under 40 you're trying to date and they treat you like roadkill although you're fairly good looking and wealthier than their whole damn family in some cases.
this is exactly what I thought when looking at his older selfmade videos. he looks tired and "hit" from something. Glad he found the solution to his problem and more happiness with it
@Boom Aloom facts man you can always tell bro like if someone giving you one word answers talk to someone else😂😂 it’s so funny when people miss out on these cues
Some highly intelligent people frown in small talk as trivial and burdensome. Although small talk is worthwhile if you take a thoughtful interest in many things, and are a sympathetic listener (meaning you pay attention and reflect subjects back.) You can be a 'great' conversationalist if you refrain from negative moods, complaining and 'using' the other person (talking just for your own gratification or being boorishly opinionated.) You give a lot of yourself away, your key competency or weaknesses when you interact. This is so interesting now I'm thinking more about it.
I would say small talk is just testing the other person's interests and ideas and where to go with them and where not to go. I think a lot of highly intelligent people frown on small talk mainly because it is trivial and for them, it's even more trivial because of their higher intelligence. It's funny though, my brother-in-law displays every single one of those habits you state at the end of your second paragraph. He also says small talk is trivial and that he's really intelligent but I'm not sure if I agree with him on either account.
I've been guilty of those habits you mentionned and for the past couple years i've been trying to avoid making those mistakes but I was never quite sure how to conceptualize them yet you put your finger on it so accurately, hats off to you sir.
I think you know if you like the person like three seconds in! Small talk will easily turn into a conversation if you like the person. If you don't or they are the kind of person that talks but never truly says anything it's easy to lose interest. Those type of people in particular make me want to punch things LOL. But, I'm not always like that. My friend Renee made fun of me because I make friends everywhere I go! I once met a guy who bicycle from New York to San Francisco twice. The dude was like 90 and had legs fit for a much younger athlete. He looked fantastic for his age, call me beautiful story somebody's deceased wife. I just sat and listened. On the same trip to met a guy from Australia in Barcelona and well hang out together, eventually meeting a mother and daughter Duo from Ireland. Our paths crossed several times after that oh, they were a lot of fun. Small talk, can lead to all kinds of things. 100% depends on the person.
Wow i finally love jordan peterson. I have problems with rage and have been listening to jung a lot. The peices are finally coming together its remarkable how words can make you feel at home again.
Rage can usually be conditioned away. By the end, it may exist as only minor irritation at the same triggers. It’s always about identifying your triggers and finding a common trend connecting them, especially about how they make you feel WITHOUT the rage. A friend told me anger is typically secondary, a defensive emotional response.
I think in large part I've manifested most of my anxiety from believing that having a persona at all is a bad thing. Knowing this is wrong intuitively feels like it's going to help a ton.
I used to beleive small talk is a waste of time. Like many introverts do. I'm not even gonna watch the video, all I'm gonna say is that I grew to love smalltalk. It's a safe way to gradually get to know people around you and see if you can trust them or if you bond well with them in order to try and form a deeper connection. At the same time, it helps keeping your cards closed against people you don't trust or dislike for some reason without being labeled as impolite or weird thus not giving them any foothold into spreading bad stuff about you. Also, it helps you become likable to the eyes of people you are otherwise disintrested in. Awesome tool and once you get used to it it's a no brainer.
Precisely, a no brainer. I can endure it minimally then I am ready yo move on to meatier discussions, this is not to say I would start divulging personal info to acquaintances , no sir, the trust has to be long established beforehabd, but certainly I am ready to talk non personal in depth subject matter as next step, and fairly soon because I have little patience for trivial matters.
@@ipoststuff.2564 yes, I agree, but I'm saying that from a short amount of small talk, both can lock onto a deeper subject and learn even more,, not to say that the subject should be personal at first, but rather..say you meet someone and notice they're tanned..you could expand on small talk fairly quickly by asking..Wow you are nice and tanned, were you away somewhere tropical, they say yes..Hawaii..you say how'd you like it, I went there 10 years ago and experienced xyz...or, Oh I've never been, do you recommend this as a destination? Then they talk about it in ,ore deoth and maybe mention their partner, this leads to a question about the partner.not too personal of course, but may be they feel comfortable revealing something a little bit personal, and you can carefully ask more. My point is, this type of conversation is more in depth and interesting then "nice day..tomorrow is supposed to rain, well the plants need it..that's the full depth..then it's "well, have a nice day" This not only bores me to death, if conversation doesn't go anywhere else after few minutes, nor do I gain a sense of trust or whether I wed like to have a possible friendship..meaning, I need the conversation to go a little beyond simplistic chat to get a sense of the person so that next time I see them, I will know if we can go a wee bit further in our next conversation or not, just keep it casual if I'm not interested.
Small talk is an attempt of one person to communicate with another person that hasn’t provided signals to mutual interests, or complexity beyond the superficial. You’re offering the benefit of the doubt, in hopes of revealing if this person is worth pursuing or not
I see small talk only useful for observing and gauging basic ideas like personality, demeanor, background, interests with someone you have just met. If you don't engage in some small talk, how will you gather enough information to form perspective and determine whether it's worthwhile to move the conversation to greater depths.
As an agreeable person that wants to go straight into an deep, intimate relationship with people I meet, this is an invaluable insight. It is good to leverage small talk and feel each other out (figuratively) before proceeding further. It can save you from so much conflict and disagreement later on 👏🏽
@@gruvalisticno You're absolutely right. That's why I hate small talk as do many introverts. People often show you a great trailer for a movie that actually stinks. They pretend to be more than they really are much like you see on Instagram. Usually the reserved people tend to be the most sincere and extroverts who are masters at small talk couldn't care less about you. The reason I am coming round to the idea of developing my ability to tolerate small talk is we do need to make new friends throughout life and as an introvert I need to overcome my inital shyness/reservation/reticence and alllow for the possibility I could meet genuine people.
I loathe small talk on many levels. Partially because I find it generally insincere and partially because I believe , once again, in general people talk to much about nothing far to much. “Hey, how’s it going” will suffice .
my problem is that, when it becomes my turn to talk, it's time to stop talking. because, i guess, it takes too much attention, since listening to me takes intelligence. also i generally know what someone's saying, usually before they do, and tend to drift off into space. and also whenever Im talking, i guess I'm hard to understand, and tend to be interrupted.
@@jacobmarshall23 maybe youre just a fucking idiot. Genius is supposed to make complicated ideas understandable, if people dont understand what youre saying when you speak thats your fault.
@@ren.8137 The problem is not that I'm misunderstood. It's that I get interrupted, before I finish my thought. Most people aren't able to focus, and thus don't know that I haven't finished. And when did I ever state that I were genius. Quite the opposite actually. I suggested that a lot of them are ignorant.
@@jacobmarshall23 Its likely you often talk to people that are too eager to speak and dont have the ability to stop them from saying what they are thinking at the time. Im somewhat of an introvert and I can tell when people interupt me due to being too excited is the term ill use. There are some that will interrupt you in a group conversation to talk to someone else and I end up disliking those people or not talking to them as much. It takes a lot of energy to control myself when in group conversations due to things like being interrupted or ignored. Im not sure where you stand on introvert vs extrovert but i tend to not like talking in groups as much due to increased chances of being interrupted and getting angry in my head
who cares even if they did use his content and didn't source it directly. People can figure it out, the name is there. And the more people that share this stuff, the more people see it and listen, the better.
@@BigRedBearr I make my own damn food so that's not a possibility. People that spit in other people's food however are the kinds that I wait for after work to kick the living shit out of.
@@jakedee4117 even if you don't know the story, what the story represents seems like its pretty well ingrained into our thinking. That and I think ton's of ppl have seen or at least heard that story. Its been around much longer than Lion King.
Still think it's cool. A man goes out to integrate his shadow and fails, becomes a monster. there's the drugs angle too. In one part he's beating down the chemist's door in the middle of the night.@@nickmagrick7702
I struggle with the issue of not having a persona. I dont have affirmative problems (I am a male), however, I struggle with small talk and feel really awkward during it, my voice changes depending on the day, and I have a deep feeling of not knowing who I am (as a social entity). I attribute a lot of this to all the psychedelic trips I've been in, which have showed me time and again that the persona is an act similar to lying... and I regret this for the most part.
Damn described my situation after 18 trips in 10 months (which is mild for some) , I stopped psychedelics more than 1.5 years ago. Thought I was losing it for a while depersonalizing a lot for probably 9 months but I smoked weed at that time which didn’t help. But really made me lose my old personality and made me feel awkward during small talk but it gets better over time. Hope you’re doing better 👍🏼
I agree that a persona could be considered a form of lying, yet nothing and nobody is being harmed by it in the slightest. In fact a good persona could make others feel better without any consequences whatsoever. And still, a persona isn't exactly a lie. It's a part of you that you make, and it is unique to you. You could even think of it like dressing up and/or putting on makeup before going on a date, it's not a lie it's just a different look. Plus you have a responsibility to go along with aspects of society so long as you don't have a _particularly good_ reason for going against it, and I do not believe that (for example) putting on makeup is a lie that should be abolished nor do I believe that a persona is a lie that should be abolished. In a sense, even if you hate personas then it is a necessary evil to be able to function in society. You can even choose to balance it out with other charitable actions if you decide it's necessary. Does that make sense?
Small talk is all well and good when you have a goal in mind. But when you’re invited to some party that you’re not all that thrilled about going to in the first place with a bunch of people you don’t know, engaging in small talk is like watching paint dry. You can just feel the time being wasted, and it drives you nuts!
'' there is no small talk, only small voices '' ... It isn't what you say ... it's how you say it. ---- I may not have a PhD. in Psychology ; But a gorgeous bass voice, and a cool personality does get you places .....
This is so true. I’ve spent a while over analyzing everything I’m about to say because I am often very upfront and it can come across as abrasive, but only recently I realized I can say almost anything (within reason) as long as I have a kind and caring TONE. It’s allllll about tone. How you speak, not necessarily what you say
Thank you to whomever or whatever it was that guided this pearl of wisdom to me. As someone who struggles with small talk this helps put emphasis on why a little more effort on my part may be fortuitous.
No one has to participate in small talk. People aren’t as closed off and surface as it seems. Just get right into it and see how little efforts turns into a great interaction. There’s no risk involved.
I can see how it could be helpful to have enough anger to inhibit your fear but I don’t think it’s the only to stand up for yourself. You could also be calm cool and collected and do it too.
The shadow would be that you don't want to be aware of. The monster underneath. The Jungean division of the psiquis in persona, ego and shadow is not the only useful division, but it is useful. Persona: might be harmless. Civilized and socialized. Invite people to go beyond pleaseantries. Don't denigrate its usefulness. But don't think you are just persona. Should you think that you are what you show the social world? Perhaps you got to the conclusion that 'to be angry or aggressive is wrong', if you had an angry parent. But you have to be nice not only with others, but with yourself. And you have to draw on the sources of aggression, becaude anger inhibits the fear of conflicts. *Frank* exchange of perspectives and *conscious* negotiation. - Are we so afraid of falsehood - If you don't care of your interest, resentmeny can make you sneaky. Victimization, ideas of revenge, and stubborn non-cooperative. Being nice and peacefulness are not only virtues. They can become vices. And they are not the only virtues. Poorly developed capacity for anger. Get run over, get pushed around. Inbuilt set of possibilities.
Joan Esperanza When you get run over too many times, you can become resentful, which will turn into a more sneaky and indirect, non-conscious forms of aggression (passive aggression?). Along with what you mentioned (victimization, ideas of revenge, and stubborn non-cooperativeness)
@@nickmagrick7702 in·tu·i·tive /inˈt(y)o͞oədiv/ adjective adjective: intuitive using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive
again, "intuitive subject". A non physical metaphorical concept can't be a thing which holds proprieties that require consciousness to view them to even call itself intuitive.
I think that an akward moment like when you don't know when and how to end a conversation is an indicator that social human interactions themselves are still under a process of development. An akward moment happens when a person faces a situation when they don't know what to do due to a lack of implicit social rules on how to act on that specific moment
his commentary on the persona around the 5th-6th minute is perfectly applicable to the illusively dangerous ways many people are trapped in the world of social media, particularly Instagram and Facebook. also, at the every minute mark Dr Peterson looks like he is on the verge of succumbing to nausea 😂
Not a big fan of small talk if someone is either being fake or just saying it to break the silence. Retail employees asking how am I doing or strangers in a Starbucks line talking about how they've tasted coffee. I'm fine with the small talk if you have something interesting to say or if you like my nerdy MHA shirt (I watch anime). I just wished people would say something more appealing than the generic "How are you doing today?" This annoys me for some reason.
I dont l like small talk..its so boring but I'm an deep thinker. I know a good majority of people dont like it or dont think like that..so my small talk is minimal
Small talk is one of many small ways to show that one is a well-socialized citizen and safe to engage with on a deeper level. Well done, Dr. Jordan Peterson. Well done.
Perhaps think of it kinda like visiting another 'tribe', where you first encounter the 'natives' and start carefully, often by exchanging small 'gifts'.
This reminds me every time the persons at the top of the social structure in high school, colege or job say one to another: '-Hey, I thought you were kind of an asshole when I first met you, but now youre my best pal'
Will, it's a sort of test right? You guage the other person's character, personality and intelligence by throwing out an open ended innocuous statement and examining the other's reaction. Then it's their turn. And then you go back and forth a few times to get a well rounded feel for the other. Do they curse, complain, bring up sex, violence, substance abuse, prejudice, etc? Or do they talk about other things that indicate a compassionate upward protection in life? Do they understand the big words you use? Do they use bigger words? Do they like to chat about things that you mention liking? Do they promote best practices when you bring up frustrations?
I don’t mind offending a few people when failing to show any interest whatsoever in what they otherwise could have told me about themselves. For example, when I am at work, there are a few people in the office who I say Hi to but it never goes beyond that. And yet with others I get along better, engage in small talk or a normal conversation. I know those who I don’t talk to feel offended and label me all sort of things behind my back. To me it’s also shallow of them btw. I may choose not to talk to you, but also I choose not to talk about you behind your back. I don’t care. It’s my choice who I waste my time on. Will this attitude get me promoted, No, I don’t expect that. Do I need that promotion, no I don’t think so Either. But It doesn’t make me feel good to be fake 8 hours a day, and I’m not sorry for that. I don’t label myself extra or intro anything either. I am both, depends on a situation. I think it’s only natural not to trust certain people. I work in a very public facing role..and “trying” for every single person is exhausting to say the least. Dr Peterson is correct that it will advance your social standing and your opportunities..but hey, do you, if that is what makes you happy. I agree it may be comforting to realize that you are somewhat likable in other people’s eyes. Last time I checked Instagram is still up and running. Good luck.
It's your choice who to waste your time on...maybe you hit the nail on the head..??? Waste your time as opposed to spend your time. If ppl around u are willing to share something about themaelves, but you don't show any interest, could you be missing an opportunity for a more meaningful connection, or simply learn something new?? Perhaps the ppl trying to share sonwthing w u are intellectual liKe Dr. Peterson said,and simply are not good at small talk but could become an interesting conversationalist or grow into deeper friendship. What I am suggesting is that perhaps you are missing out on something good if you have already made up your mind and closed them out at the start. Keeping w only the same ppl provides a much narrower perspective.
Everything you said is Flawed and True but Foolish too. You need to Take time from you're Daily Flow and Sit and be still. Discern yourself. Renew you're mind. All that needs to be Said
As many have stated, the problem with small talk is knowing how to end it. For me, if people make an attempt at small talk, I will usually give a response(or lack thereof) that shuts it down immediately, because I can foresee the "conversation" not bearing any fruit based upon the first question they ask. Then there are people who will ask questions that may still fall in the "small talk" category, however they deviate from the typical inquiry in a way that's more "open-ended", so to speak. These I will respond to, with something witty perhaps, and then a good time is had and the rest continues to flow naturally. I will not go out of my may to cultivate a conversation from just any attempt someone throws out, however, I am not opposed to having one if it blossoms naturally. As a matter of fact, most conversations I have are not actually that deep, but they are not shallow like ones "about my day" or what's happening in pop culture or whatever.
Small talk can lead to confidence in being social. The problem is it seems most people are only interested in small talk relating to 3 things: weather, pro sports (men), shopping and small children (women)
I don't have a persona. Can anyone direct me to reading, videos or information that will help me? People think I'm odd because I behave the same way towards everyone I meet whether they are family, friends or strangers. I find it extremely difficult to engage in small talk and I am honest and direct all the time with everyone and it puts people off.
Persona is pretty much the most socially accepted version of yourself. When you develop it, make sure you wont consider it your ego, since its not. Study the smalltalk others do in your comunity or ask your friends and family on what would be socially acceptable as a mundane task, not something big
A good way to practice this ( I used to have the same problem) is to pick out a friend or a family member that is confident in socialising and that inhibits the same morals, behaviours etc as you do and then mimic and sort of copy what he's doing. Pretend to be confident, pretend to be charming, pretend to be a talker cause after while those traits will merge with your true ego to produce a persona. A sort of fake it until you make it sort of thing. This may seem odd, but this is how we learn, we copy teachers writing in school, we learn to code and theories discovered by other people and build upon them. If you're not comfortable doing this, even being around and talking to confident, sociable people can help. People are like magnets, we absorb everything.
I feel like I used to have a strong persona.. but now I care a lot less what people think I've dropped a big portion of it. I can't say if that's good or bad yet. It's like when you talk to older people, they'll just speak their mind. Nobody got time for persona.
It's not his fault: it's the fault of society these days. There are plenty of potentially interesting speakers out there, but many of them are afraid to open their mouths in public. Those that adhere to the dominant ideology may be intelligent, but they will not be interesting to listen to, nor offer any real value, because they will simply spout the ideological "party line."
I avoid small talk, I avoid it and can't tolerate it. If I do engage it's for personality, intentions analysis. Basically I do so to let the other person speak to gauge their intellect, I speak little and ask several questions responding minimally usually answering with a question.
this video took quite a few turns away from the title in ways i didn't expect. lots of things to think about here regarding "the shadow" and dealing with other people.
Small talk amongst humans IMO is a bit like grooming with monkey clans. It serves to assert relationships, social standing, affection and commonality of interests.
@@Joshua-ix4bh I worked with a guy who was similar. ALWAYS angry and swearing almost continually. The rest of the business didn't want to work with him but he was good at his job so as the new guy they put me with him. He owned his car and nothing else.
It is useless! There is no small talk in finnish culture at all! Ask your finnish neighour "its a nice weather how are you doing?" and he/she will tell you a 5 min story of whats been going on lately etc.
I have this thing I say to my friends: "Who is a person? As in, if a guy is placed in prison and sentenced to death for an unknown reason to us, but its obviously horrific enough to deserve death then we say "he" is a murderer or whatever he is... But lets say the day before his death is to take place, a fire in the prison breaks out, and he drags and saves 2 guards from the fire. The next day he is put to death as sentenced. Now that he's gone, what is more indicative of his character? The unknown horrific crimes, or the compassion to save lives for no reason other than to preserve life? ...." My answer is: Whatever they're going to do next. Nothing you did before matters if the next decision you make isn't tangible to the decisions made before. History is the best example of what decision someone will make next, but it doesn't define "who they are" like we think those things do... Its whatever the person is going to do *_NEXT_* . If you read this thanks for listening and I'm wishing you an amazing week ahead and I hope you accomplish all your goals!
Considering the fact that I use my ego quite often, I consider it an ally. I understand that it's essentially just the story that I tell myself to myself and others. The problems come about when I over identify with that story. I begin to defend it at all costs. It's during this time that I am truly unhealthy. In my opinion, you have to constantly shed the things that announce themselves to you (sometimes from loved ones) as in need of repair or drastic changing. You need to identify them, and then tentatively test the waters outside of you by dipping your toes in it. This is crucial. You can't just go balls deep into a completely different mode on a whim. You might get fucked yourself.
Thanks for honoring my freedom of speech. All talk is important to the person that is doing the talking. Being either a Catholic or a Protestant Christian ... to Jordan, the following sentence is of significant importance ... " “I act as if God exists, and I’m terrified he might.” ~ Jordan Peterson To an Atheist ... that sentiment uttered by Jordan is small-talk ... and totally useless.
@@misaelacevedoortiz4062 I find it much easier addressing multiple people. I think maybe that's because I know I'm addressing a collective, and not a single individual. The collective is composed of individuals but it's far less intimate, I suppose. It's not as personal. I despise small talk and sometimes struggle a little in the early parts of social interaction. I'm more than capable of getting detailed and I find people's interests and their stories and personality far more interesting than their fake response to how their day is going and blah blah blah. Here's to getting better at small talk in 2020.
I can’t think of a more JP way to start a video than “The part of you that you consider you, roughly speaking”
The English language isn't complex enough to encapsulate the specifics of what he's trying to get at, such is the reason we use metaphor and simile in the first place. To describe something we don't have the words to, say clinically, describe. Same is done with stories, at least the more intricate ones. Being able to identify them is a skill of its own.
Raj Singh You should read or watch some videos on Wittgenstein and his views on linguistics and philosophy.
I was expecting that
Ik i was dying, if this isnt a perfect impersonation of him idk what is
The absolute master of vaguery who demands people be precise in their language.
"The part of you that you consider you, roughly speaking." Haha, classic Peterson
Articulated
Truth is...... Who are we really..? 😂
He was younger in this video , if he knew that he will get very ill and went to Russia to get help , he would say its nonsense. The same is happening with us , if have the ability to see the futur what would we do !
The funny thing is that we always hope for the best , we wait for those great times to come, we forget that the good and the bad times are intrinsically intertwined .
If you want to know about the real meaning of you life please watch my playlist.
@@watchmyplaylist2198
And how would you know the true meaning of life.
@@watchmyplaylist2198
You mean the Qur'an ?
I read it.
Few years ago Islam was a big topic where i live and media told me that Islamic terrorism has nothing to do with Islam and I believed it and defended Islam as just another religion same as the others.
But i like to hear things directly from tge horses mouth so i decided to read it myself.
One of the scariest books someone who is not a Muslim could read.
Strongly disliked it.
If i would believe it's the true word of good i would likely be a terrorist.
Anyway. I hope your struggles will end soon and you will be richly rewarded for enduring them all.
The problem of small talk is the uncertainty of when it should end.
Only when both parties fail to end it themselves. That's not a problem with small talk, it's a problem with the people involved.
Neh, natural flow
Or not knowing how to end it
I think that an akward moment like when you don't know when and how to end a conversation is an indicator that social human interactions themselves are still under a process of development.
An akward moment happens when a person faces a situation when they don't know what to do due to a lack of social rules for that specific moment
In Asian cultures the small talk is much more formulaic and formalized, so actually it doesn't have as much awkwardness as when westerners make small talk. Partly to do with Asian culture which is not individualistic and expects you to follow the formula, so the only awkwardness that happens is when the formula is broken, and in those cases its a loss of face. The Asian cultures have awkwardness kind of built in, so that you don't have to consciously handle it.
FFS its like im getting a brain hardware upgrade every time i hear Peterson.
Software only bud.
@@parkerneufeld753 well..you know the mind shapes the matter, specially the brain matter..so technically, TECHNICALLy, he could be right.
Do you "feel" smarter?
@@fctylerfc the hero we need
@@relaxation_and_tax_evasion We all need to be the hero Ashton, we need to stand up against the Parkers of this world and say enough is enough!
This clip is a lot deeper than the title would initially lead one to believe.
that's how small talk is
You're telling me. Talking about getting resentment from being farked around..... possibly by white women under 40 you're trying to date and they treat you like roadkill although you're fairly good looking and wealthier than their whole damn family in some cases.
Exactly
It's like playing roulette clicking on a JP link. 😊
JP was not on the carnivore diet at this point
I'll say, he looks horrible compared to now, and he's puffed from talking. Amazing transformation.
this is exactly what I thought when looking at his older selfmade videos. he looks tired and "hit" from something. Glad he found the solution to his problem and more happiness with it
True, he looks like he's in a lot of suffering compared to now
It's soooooo cute. He's just so adorable, I want to pinch him and poke him.
@@TheMilwaukeeProtocol ..im guessing you're single lol
You can't have a deep conversation about the meaning of life with most strangers. Small talk helps people become comfortable with each other.
@King White Knight how? Was it from his interviews or something?
@Boom Aloom facts man you can always tell bro like if someone giving you one word answers talk to someone else😂😂 it’s so funny when people miss out on these cues
The state of the weather is something that concerns all men, thus "some weather were having"
Why should you be "comfortable" with random strangers or even co- workers. Just mind your own business lmao
See I find it easier to discuss philosophy, rather than make small talk, with strangers. I'm comfortable doing either with people I know.
Some highly intelligent people frown in small talk as trivial and burdensome.
Although small talk is worthwhile if you take a thoughtful interest in many things, and are a sympathetic listener (meaning you pay attention and reflect subjects back.) You can be a 'great' conversationalist if you refrain from negative moods, complaining and 'using' the other person (talking just for your own gratification or being boorishly opinionated.)
You give a lot of yourself away, your key competency or weaknesses when you interact. This is so interesting now I'm thinking more about it.
I would say small talk is just testing the other person's interests and ideas and where to go with them and where not to go. I think a lot of highly intelligent people frown on small talk mainly because it is trivial and for them, it's even more trivial because of their higher intelligence. It's funny though, my brother-in-law displays every single one of those habits you state at the end of your second paragraph. He also says small talk is trivial and that he's really intelligent but I'm not sure if I agree with him on either account.
I've been guilty of those habits you mentionned and for the past couple years i've been trying to avoid making those mistakes but I was never quite sure how to conceptualize them yet you put your finger on it so accurately, hats off to you sir.
I think you know if you like the person like three seconds in! Small talk will easily turn into a conversation if you like the person. If you don't or they are the kind of person that talks but never truly says anything it's easy to lose interest. Those type of people in particular make me want to punch things LOL. But, I'm not always like that. My friend Renee made fun of me because I make friends everywhere I go! I once met a guy who bicycle from New York to San Francisco twice. The dude was like 90 and had legs fit for a much younger athlete. He looked fantastic for his age, call me beautiful story somebody's deceased wife. I just sat and listened. On the same trip to met a guy from Australia in Barcelona and well hang out together, eventually meeting a mother and daughter Duo from Ireland. Our paths crossed several times after that oh, they were a lot of fun. Small talk, can lead to all kinds of things. 100% depends on the person.
Wow i finally love jordan peterson. I have problems with rage and have been listening to jung a lot. The peices are finally coming together its remarkable how words can make you feel at home again.
Well once you take responsibility the rage usually goes away, at least for me even if you don't act on it just knowing that you are in control
@TL DR I don't have anger issues. But clicking through to the first vid made me immediately, unreasonably irritated
Rage can usually be conditioned away. By the end, it may exist as only minor irritation at the same triggers. It’s always about identifying your triggers and finding a common trend connecting them, especially about how they make you feel WITHOUT the rage. A friend told me anger is typically secondary, a defensive emotional response.
@TL DR I second that... That first vid made me temporarily wish for the destruction of mankind
Thanks for posting the full talk link in the description. These snippets are great but watching it all is just what I need sometimes.
I hate small talk. It's what people say when to you when they don't really want to talk to you but feel like they have to. Please just don't bother..
I think in large part I've manifested most of my anxiety from believing that having a persona at all is a bad thing. Knowing this is wrong intuitively feels like it's going to help a ton.
I feel ya, mate! How's it going with the changed mindset now? Any tips?
I used to beleive small talk is a waste of time. Like many introverts do. I'm not even gonna watch the video, all I'm gonna say is that I grew to love smalltalk. It's a safe way to gradually get to know people around you and see if you can trust them or if you bond well with them in order to try and form a deeper connection. At the same time, it helps keeping your cards closed against people you don't trust or dislike for some reason without being labeled as impolite or weird thus not giving them any foothold into spreading bad stuff about you. Also, it helps you become likable to the eyes of people you are otherwise disintrested in. Awesome tool and once you get used to it it's a no brainer.
how did you get used to it?
Precisely, a no brainer. I can endure it minimally then I am ready yo move on to meatier discussions, this is not to say I would start divulging personal info to acquaintances , no sir, the trust has to be long established beforehabd, but certainly I am ready to talk non personal in depth subject matter as next step, and fairly soon because I have little patience for trivial matters.
@@000glen practice by talking to people
@@traceytansley1659 But you initiate the establishment of trust by small talk, because it's what you do when you meet new people.
@@ipoststuff.2564 yes, I agree, but I'm saying that from a short amount of small talk, both can lock onto a deeper subject and learn even more,, not to say that the subject should be personal at first, but rather..say you meet someone and notice they're tanned..you could expand on small talk fairly quickly by asking..Wow you are nice and tanned, were you away somewhere tropical, they say yes..Hawaii..you say how'd you like it, I went there 10 years ago and experienced xyz...or, Oh I've never been, do you recommend this as a destination? Then they talk about it in ,ore deoth and maybe mention their partner, this leads to a question about the partner.not too personal of course, but may be they feel comfortable revealing something a little bit personal, and you can carefully ask more. My point is, this type of conversation is more in depth and interesting then "nice day..tomorrow is supposed to rain, well the plants need it..that's the full depth..then it's "well, have a nice day" This not only bores me to death, if conversation doesn't go anywhere else after few minutes, nor do I gain a sense of trust or whether I wed like to have a possible friendship..meaning, I need the conversation to go a little beyond simplistic chat to get a sense of the person so that next time I see them, I will know if we can go a wee bit further in our next conversation or not, just keep it casual if I'm not interested.
Small talk is an attempt of one person to communicate with another person that hasn’t provided signals to mutual interests, or complexity beyond the superficial.
You’re offering the benefit of the doubt, in hopes of revealing if this person is worth pursuing or not
"Peaceful, predictable, and easy to get along with...virtues when taken too far become vices." Jordan Peterson calling CBC.
I see small talk only useful for observing and gauging basic ideas like personality, demeanor, background, interests with someone you have just met. If you don't engage in some small talk, how will you gather enough information to form perspective and determine whether it's worthwhile to move the conversation to greater depths.
Well put 👏
As an agreeable person that wants to go straight into an deep, intimate relationship with people I meet, this is an invaluable insight. It is good to leverage small talk and feel each other out (figuratively) before proceeding further. It can save you from so much conflict and disagreement later on 👏🏽
@Boom Aloom that’s why you learn to know if they’re interested by body language if they ain’t I’ll leave them alone
But you have to bear in mind that you could very well be lied to with respect to all those things by the person you are having the small talk with
@@gruvalisticno You're absolutely right. That's why I hate small talk as do many introverts. People often show you a great trailer for a movie that actually stinks. They pretend to be more than they really are much like you see on Instagram. Usually the reserved people tend to be the most sincere and extroverts who are masters at small talk couldn't care less about you. The reason I am coming round to the idea of developing my ability to tolerate small talk is we do need to make new friends throughout life and as an introvert I need to overcome my inital shyness/reservation/reticence and alllow for the possibility I could meet genuine people.
I loathe small talk on many levels. Partially because I find it generally insincere and partially because I believe , once again, in general people talk to much about nothing far to much. “Hey, how’s it going” will suffice .
my problem is that, when it becomes my turn to talk, it's time to stop talking. because, i guess, it takes too much attention, since listening to me takes intelligence. also i generally know what someone's saying, usually before they do, and tend to drift off into space. and also whenever Im talking, i guess I'm hard to understand, and tend to be interrupted.
@@jacobmarshall23 maybe youre just a fucking idiot. Genius is supposed to make complicated ideas understandable, if people dont understand what youre saying when you speak thats your fault.
@@ren.8137 The problem is not that I'm misunderstood. It's that I get interrupted, before I finish my thought. Most people aren't able to focus, and thus don't know that I haven't finished. And when did I ever state that I were genius. Quite the opposite actually. I suggested that a lot of them are ignorant.
@@jacobmarshall23 Its likely you often talk to people that are too eager to speak and dont have the ability to stop them from saying what they are thinking at the time. Im somewhat of an introvert and I can tell when people interupt me due to being too excited is the term ill use. There are some that will interrupt you in a group conversation to talk to someone else and I end up disliking those people or not talking to them as much. It takes a lot of energy to control myself when in group conversations due to things like being interrupted or ignored. Im not sure where you stand on introvert vs extrovert but i tend to not like talking in groups as much due to increased chances of being interrupted and getting angry in my head
I love this man from the core of my being
Was going to downvote for ripping one of his videos but checked the description and saw you link to his video and channel.
Good job.
who cares even if they did use his content and didn't source it directly. People can figure it out, the name is there. And the more people that share this stuff, the more people see it and listen, the better.
People like you are the people who have their food spit in at restaurants..
@@BigRedBearr I make my own damn food so that's not a possibility. People that spit in other people's food however are the kinds that I wait for after work to kick the living shit out of.
@@Knowitall3234 little bit different breaking into someones home and eating their food without permition, but nice try.
@@nickmagrick7702 Theft is theft. Only a cretin would try to differentiate between the two to justify theirs.
I'd love to hear Dr Peterson do an in depth reading of the classic tale "Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde". That's a psychological goldmine.
its also a bit on the nose. What could he say about that concept that people don't already know?
A lot of people don't know that one. It's more obscure than the Lion King. @@nickmagrick7702
@@jakedee4117 even if you don't know the story, what the story represents seems like its pretty well ingrained into our thinking.
That and I think ton's of ppl have seen or at least heard that story. Its been around much longer than Lion King.
Still think it's cool. A man goes out to integrate his shadow and fails, becomes a monster. there's the drugs angle too. In one part he's beating down the chemist's door in the middle of the night.@@nickmagrick7702
@@jakedee4117 well when you put it that way, it would be interesting to talk about what happens when investigating your shadow goes wrong.
I struggle with the issue of not having a persona. I dont have affirmative problems (I am a male), however, I struggle with small talk and feel really awkward during it, my voice changes depending on the day, and I have a deep feeling of not knowing who I am (as a social entity). I attribute a lot of this to all the psychedelic trips I've been in, which have showed me time and again that the persona is an act similar to lying... and I regret this for the most part.
Damn described my situation after 18 trips in 10 months (which is mild for some) , I stopped psychedelics more than 1.5 years ago. Thought I was losing it for a while depersonalizing a lot for probably 9 months but I smoked weed at that time which didn’t help. But really made me lose my old personality and made me feel awkward during small talk but it gets better over time. Hope you’re doing better 👍🏼
I agree that a persona could be considered a form of lying, yet nothing and nobody is being harmed by it in the slightest. In fact a good persona could make others feel better without any consequences whatsoever.
And still, a persona isn't exactly a lie. It's a part of you that you make, and it is unique to you. You could even think of it like dressing up and/or putting on makeup before going on a date, it's not a lie it's just a different look. Plus you have a responsibility to go along with aspects of society so long as you don't have a _particularly good_ reason for going against it, and I do not believe that (for example) putting on makeup is a lie that should be abolished nor do I believe that a persona is a lie that should be abolished.
In a sense, even if you hate personas then it is a necessary evil to be able to function in society. You can even choose to balance it out with other charitable actions if you decide it's necessary.
Does that make sense?
Guy: “What’s your favorite color?”
Girl: “I’m not into small talk.”
Guy: “Ok. What kind of legacy do you want to leave?”
Girl: “Blue.”
He looks like a ghost reanimated from the 19th Century.
Lmao
Why is this so true lol
peterson white supremacist confirmed
Hahahah damn!
He is the ghost of our father that we have to rescue
Small talk is all well and good when you have a goal in mind. But when you’re invited to some party that you’re not all that thrilled about going to in the first place with a bunch of people you don’t know, engaging in small talk is like watching paint dry. You can just feel the time being wasted, and it drives you nuts!
8:55 is me when i put on a black eye patch
I'm upset that this made me laugh lmao
@@lafudge2929 YAR YAR YAR
haHAHAH
Thats rich
LMAO
'' there is no small talk, only small voices ''
... It isn't what you say ... it's how you say it.
---- I may not have a PhD. in Psychology ;
But a gorgeous bass voice, and a cool personality does get you places .....
This is so true. I’ve spent a while over analyzing everything I’m about to say because I am often very upfront and it can come across as abrasive, but only recently I realized I can say almost anything (within reason) as long as I have a kind and caring TONE. It’s allllll about tone. How you speak, not necessarily what you say
8:16 I have to time mark this because I need to listen to what he said, again .
Thank you to whomever or whatever it was that guided this pearl of wisdom to me.
As someone who struggles with small talk this helps put emphasis on why a little more effort on my part may be fortuitous.
No one has to participate in small talk. People aren’t as closed off and surface as it seems. Just get right into it and see how little efforts turns into a great interaction. There’s no risk involved.
I see where you going but That is not completely true
I can see how it could be helpful to have enough anger to inhibit your fear but I don’t think it’s the only to stand up for yourself. You could also be calm cool and collected and do it too.
True.
The shadow would be that you don't want to be aware of. The monster underneath.
The Jungean division of the psiquis in persona, ego and shadow is not the only useful division, but it is useful.
Persona: might be harmless. Civilized and socialized. Invite people to go beyond pleaseantries. Don't denigrate its usefulness. But don't think you are just persona. Should you think that you are what you show the social world?
Perhaps you got to the conclusion that 'to be angry or aggressive is wrong', if you had an angry parent.
But you have to be nice not only with others, but with yourself. And you have to draw on the sources of aggression, becaude anger inhibits the fear of conflicts.
*Frank* exchange of perspectives and *conscious* negotiation.
- Are we so afraid of falsehood -
If you don't care of your interest, resentmeny can make you sneaky. Victimization, ideas of revenge, and stubborn non-cooperative.
Being nice and peacefulness are not only virtues. They can become vices. And they are not the only virtues.
Poorly developed capacity for anger.
Get run over, get pushed around.
Inbuilt set of possibilities.
Joan Esperanza When you get run over too many times, you can become resentful, which will turn into a more sneaky and indirect, non-conscious forms of aggression (passive aggression?). Along with what you mentioned (victimization, ideas of revenge, and stubborn non-cooperativeness)
Very interesting
NO. I have programmed several major systems in smalltalk in the past few years.
very intuitive subject well-analysed and well-put
whats intuitive subject mean?
@@nickmagrick7702 in·tu·i·tive
/inˈt(y)o͞oədiv/
adjective
adjective: intuitive
using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive
again, "intuitive subject". A non physical metaphorical concept can't be a thing which holds proprieties that require consciousness to view them to even call itself intuitive.
@@nickmagrick7702 maybe by "subject" she meant Jordan Peterson
@@damianwayne8948 the English still doesnt make sense.
People are tripping on his health and no word of the lighting.
Getting to know your self is a life long process, not helped by the everpresent constant small changes going on.
4:15 for the title
I’m glad you speak the way you do as It’s the thoughts that I think, without all the positive & negatives. It’s all about what perception you have..
Being associable as well and public relation develops affinity of being.God bless to you Professor Jordan Peterson
I think that an akward moment like when you don't know when and how to end a conversation is an indicator that social human interactions themselves are still under a process of development.
An akward moment happens when a person faces a situation when they don't know what to do due to a lack of implicit social rules on how to act on that specific moment
We still try our best tho
I used to blame this on myself but turns out.. I talk to a lot of people who are even more clumsy with social skills than me.
his commentary on the persona around the 5th-6th minute is perfectly applicable to the illusively dangerous ways many people are trapped in the world of social media, particularly Instagram and Facebook. also, at the every minute mark Dr Peterson looks like he is on the verge of succumbing to nausea 😂
Not a big fan of small talk if someone is either being fake or just saying it to break the silence. Retail employees asking how am I doing or strangers in a Starbucks line talking about how they've tasted coffee. I'm fine with the small talk if you have something interesting to say or if you like my nerdy MHA shirt (I watch anime). I just wished people would say something more appealing than the generic "How are you doing today?" This annoys me for some reason.
I dont l like small talk..its so boring but I'm an deep thinker. I know a good majority of people dont like it or dont think like that..so my small talk is minimal
Small talk is one of many small ways to show that one is a well-socialized citizen and safe to engage with on a deeper level.
Well done, Dr. Jordan Peterson.
Well done.
video description be like
"Jordan Peterson - Is Small Talk Useless?
full talk:"
He's hitting a nail on the head with this one. So if a person is basically an Aspy, how does he get through this....ummm not me, a friend of mine.
Perhaps think of it kinda like visiting another 'tribe', where you first encounter the 'natives' and start carefully, often by exchanging small 'gifts'.
@@matonmongo u wot m8?
"How are you?"
"Fine. How are you?"
"Fine."
...
Oblivion NPC dialogue
To avoid small talk, you have to be intelligent.
This reminds me every time the persons at the top of the social structure in high school, colege or job say one to another: '-Hey, I thought you were kind of an asshole when I first met you, but now youre my best pal'
Will, it's a sort of test right? You guage the other person's character, personality and intelligence by throwing out an open ended innocuous statement and examining the other's reaction. Then it's their turn. And then you go back and forth a few times to get a well rounded feel for the other.
Do they curse, complain, bring up sex, violence, substance abuse, prejudice, etc?
Or do they talk about other things that indicate a compassionate upward protection in life?
Do they understand the big words you use? Do they use bigger words?
Do they like to chat about things that you mention liking? Do they promote best practices when you bring up frustrations?
I appreciate how he's able to combine the exoteric and the esoteric knowledge
I like limiting my self to actual conversation to important matters .
Most people will inidate you with meaningless information .
You're pretty engaging JP
Thanks for the talk
I don’t mind offending a few people when failing to show any interest whatsoever in what they otherwise could have told me about themselves. For example, when I am at work, there are a few people in the office who I say Hi to but it never goes beyond that. And yet with others I get along better, engage in small talk or a normal conversation. I know those who I don’t talk to feel offended and label me all sort of things behind my back. To me it’s also shallow of them btw. I may choose not to talk to you, but also I choose not to talk about you behind your back. I don’t care. It’s my choice who I waste my time on. Will this attitude get me promoted, No, I don’t expect that. Do I need that promotion, no I don’t think so Either. But It doesn’t make me feel good to be fake 8 hours a day, and I’m not sorry for that. I don’t label myself extra or intro anything either. I am both, depends on a situation. I think it’s only natural not to trust certain people. I work in a very public facing role..and “trying” for every single person is exhausting to say the least. Dr Peterson is correct that it will advance your social standing and your opportunities..but hey, do you, if that is what makes you happy. I agree it may be comforting to realize that you are somewhat likable in other people’s eyes. Last time I checked Instagram is still up and running. Good luck.
It's your choice who to waste your time on...maybe you hit the nail on the head..??? Waste your time as opposed to spend your time. If ppl around u are willing to share something about themaelves, but you don't show any interest, could you be missing an opportunity for a more meaningful connection, or simply learn something new?? Perhaps the ppl trying to share sonwthing w u are intellectual liKe Dr. Peterson said,and simply are not good at small talk but could become an interesting conversationalist or grow into deeper friendship. What I am suggesting is that perhaps you are missing out on something good if you have already made up your mind and closed them out at the start. Keeping w only the same ppl provides a much narrower perspective.
Everything you said is Flawed and True but Foolish too.
You need to Take time from you're Daily Flow and Sit and be still. Discern yourself.
Renew you're mind.
All that needs to be Said
while JP is talking about shadow, it's something is purring inside me that wanted to get out, metaphorically speaking
cum
@@therealpotsmoan593 That's not a metaphor, dingus.
@@cwheels01 cum monster alter ego
I think small talk is an extended hello followed by more or not.
Goddamn, what an eloquent smart person!
As many have stated, the problem with small talk is knowing how to end it. For me, if people make an attempt at small talk, I will usually give a response(or lack thereof) that shuts it down immediately, because I can foresee the "conversation" not bearing any fruit based upon the first question they ask.
Then there are people who will ask questions that may still fall in the "small talk" category, however they deviate from the typical inquiry in a way that's more "open-ended", so to speak. These I will respond to, with something witty perhaps, and then a good time is had and the rest continues to flow naturally.
I will not go out of my may to cultivate a conversation from just any attempt someone throws out, however, I am not opposed to having one if it blossoms naturally. As a matter of fact, most conversations I have are not actually that deep, but they are not shallow like ones "about my day" or what's happening in pop culture or whatever.
Thumbs up for including source.
Small talk can lead to confidence in being social. The problem is it seems most people are only interested in small talk relating to 3 things: weather, pro sports (men), shopping and small children (women)
I’m adding this to the list of Jordan Peterson lecture videos that end with “so...”
I would hope you could take away more from his lectures than that
Yes. Talk about what you actually have in mind instead.
Imagine possessing the ability to help every single person in the world.
Yet so humble in his authentic vulnerable way.
Every oak tree once started as a seed. To those people who have problems with small talk...thanks for the warning - it's mutual.
I don't have a persona. Can anyone direct me to reading, videos or information that will help me? People think I'm odd because I behave the same way towards everyone I meet whether they are family, friends or strangers. I find it extremely difficult to engage in small talk and I am honest and direct all the time with everyone and it puts people off.
Persona is pretty much the most socially accepted version of yourself. When you develop it, make sure you wont consider it your ego, since its not. Study the smalltalk others do in your comunity or ask your friends and family on what would be socially acceptable as a mundane task, not something big
A good way to practice this ( I used to have the same problem) is to pick out a friend or a family member that is confident in socialising and that inhibits the same morals, behaviours etc as you do and then mimic and sort of copy what he's doing. Pretend to be confident, pretend to be charming, pretend to be a talker cause after while those traits will merge with your true ego to produce a persona. A sort of fake it until you make it sort of thing. This may seem odd, but this is how we learn, we copy teachers writing in school, we learn to code and theories discovered by other people and build upon them. If you're not comfortable doing this, even being around and talking to confident, sociable people can help. People are like magnets, we absorb everything.
I feel like I used to have a strong persona.. but now I care a lot less what people think I've dropped a big portion of it. I can't say if that's good or bad yet. It's like when you talk to older people, they'll just speak their mind. Nobody got time for persona.
that was so good, specially the end.
Starting to think Dr. Peterson is a little overexposed these days.
It's not his fault: it's the fault of society these days. There are plenty of potentially interesting speakers out there, but many of them are afraid to open their mouths in public. Those that adhere to the dominant ideology may be intelligent, but they will not be interesting to listen to, nor offer any real value, because they will simply spout the ideological "party line."
@@DieFlabbergast it was a photography joke my man.
@@whitepeoplergullible9241 you got me there too
Hahaha good joke
Haha! I'm watching this in a dimly lit room. It damn near blinded me 😂
Anyone knows a full clip of this lecture?
For me, JP's battles with addiction make him more human. Just saying
Thank you JP
I avoid small talk, I avoid it and can't tolerate it. If I do engage it's for personality, intentions analysis. Basically I do so to let the other person speak to gauge their intellect, I speak little and ask several questions responding minimally usually answering with a question.
as well as for "the protocol", not appearing weird at job
this video took quite a few turns away from the title in ways i didn't expect. lots of things to think about here regarding "the shadow" and dealing with other people.
I would love for jp to psychoanalyze so that I can know the part of me that I consider me better, roughly speaking
Small talk amongst humans IMO is a bit like grooming with monkey clans. It serves to assert relationships, social standing, affection and commonality of interests.
That was useful, thank you for uploading it!
The video quality is shocking.
@@dontgetmadgetwise4271 If you came for video quality, poor you
Thank you Jordan
I'm a rage-aholic... I just cant live without rage-ahol
And who came up with this joke?
You guessed it... Frank Stallone
Rage makes me work better
I knew an actual rage-aholic once. Guy didn't own a doghouse.
This comment just blew my mind
@@Joshua-ix4bh I worked with a guy who was similar. ALWAYS angry and swearing almost continually. The rest of the business didn't want to work with him but he was good at his job so as the new guy they put me with him. He owned his car and nothing else.
What's the answer to the video title?
Can anyone explain what he just said? Thanks in advance
It is useless! There is no small talk in finnish culture at all! Ask your finnish neighour "its a nice weather how are you doing?" and he/she will tell you a 5 min story of whats been going on lately etc.
Interessting
Well shit that explains a lot! As the video went along more and more things clicked into place lol
1:35 This is what Internal Family Systems therapy is based on.
To an Aspie, yes.
Yep.
@@thepicklegambit haha im an aspie😊😊.. thats how i know
he is phenomenal
small talk is useless when cultivating wrong mindedness and useful when cultivating right mindedness
4:15
I have this thing I say to my friends: "Who is a person? As in, if a guy is placed in prison and sentenced to death for an unknown reason to us, but its obviously horrific enough to deserve death then we say "he" is a murderer or whatever he is... But lets say the day before his death is to take place, a fire in the prison breaks out, and he drags and saves 2 guards from the fire. The next day he is put to death as sentenced. Now that he's gone, what is more indicative of his character? The unknown horrific crimes, or the compassion to save lives for no reason other than to preserve life? ...."
My answer is: Whatever they're going to do next. Nothing you did before matters if the next decision you make isn't tangible to the decisions made before. History is the best example of what decision someone will make next, but it doesn't define "who they are" like we think those things do... Its whatever the person is going to do *_NEXT_* .
If you read this thanks for listening and I'm wishing you an amazing week ahead and I hope you accomplish all your goals!
9:07 to 9:46 🔥
yes, that's why i don't like talking to people
Considering the fact that I use my ego quite often, I consider it an ally. I understand that it's essentially just the story that I tell myself to myself and others. The problems come about when I over identify with that story. I begin to defend it at all costs. It's during this time that I am truly unhealthy. In my opinion, you have to constantly shed the things that announce themselves to you (sometimes from loved ones) as in need of repair or drastic changing. You need to identify them, and then tentatively test the waters outside of you by dipping your toes in it. This is crucial. You can't just go balls deep into a completely different mode on a whim. You might get fucked yourself.
Thanks for honoring my freedom of speech.
All talk is important to the person that is doing the talking.
Being either a Catholic or a Protestant Christian ... to Jordan, the following sentence is of significant importance ... " “I act as if God exists, and I’m terrified he might.” ~ Jordan Peterson
To an Atheist ... that sentiment uttered by Jordan is small-talk ... and totally useless.
what if my persona is someone who doesn't do small talk?
Muphlon. Ican barely do small talk. One on one it's hard, in a crowd almost impossible.
@@misaelacevedoortiz4062 I find it much easier addressing multiple people. I think maybe that's because I know I'm addressing a collective, and not a single individual. The collective is composed of individuals but it's far less intimate, I suppose. It's not as personal.
I despise small talk and sometimes struggle a little in the early parts of social interaction. I'm more than capable of getting detailed and I find people's interests and their stories and personality far more interesting than their fake response to how their day is going and blah blah blah.
Here's to getting better at small talk in 2020.
Answer yes .
JP is my daily software update if my brain where a piece of hardware.
yep small is useless, why even waste energy on mundane conversation?
Why is the quality in this video so bad?
Small talk is not useless it helps explain yourself
90% of the time small talk is useless!!
Damn this really describes my childhood
"No." Jiraiya.