Definitely-- Physical, Emotional, Verbal, Financial, Spiritual and/or Sexual 😢 Horrendous while living with then and trying to break free through the divorce process -- cannot wait to be done!!
My divorce took 2.5 years and $300k. He weaponized the legal system. As a malignant narcissist, his currency was inflicting pain (pain being power); the more scorched earth the better. The kids were old enough to choose, so custody not an issue. 3 mediations. Do not ask lawyer if they’ve worked against narcissists, they will always say yes. Asking specific strategy is crucial. If they say the other lawyer will provide boundaries and can be relied on to keep him in line, they’ve never done this. If they ask if there is a diagnosis to evidence NPD, you will pay for their learning curve ( the vast majority are undiagnosed). If they concede to show good faith, expecting it shown in return, it will have the opposite effect. Fueling a concession bloodbath. Your lawyer matters, next to your therapist.
No.1 thing...I was smart,stoic and playing the long game. He was loud,damaging and completely emotional. I ended up getting what was most important to me . I beat him in court.
It is so true, you need to let them believe that they win something and are smart, they will feel great. I asked for him to pay my legal fees (which he was deliberately increasing) and it was not my intention for him to pay for my legal fees but it was just something that I was happy to let go.
Thank you for this video. I am in the process of strategizing, financially stable and getting really clear on these important questions before I come to you for legal help. I’m in the area so I look forward to working with your team in the future.
I'm in the beginnings of divorcing a narcissist and this is so true. We are only two months in and I'm already mentally and emotionally exhausted. I've read that this is one of the hardest things you will ever do, and it is absolutely true. This is all great advice. I sent this video to my attorney and hopefully it will help me get custody of my kids.
@@sookiebyun4260Get financially stable! Get financially stable! Focus on yourself to get out of that situation, save money, volunteer, and get some type of plan as to what u want so it can end quickly.
I am a year and a half into my divorce and it still have not even started yet. I am struggling to get maintenance for my daughter and me. I was working at our shop (he is the sole owner), and he chased me away. So no income, no maintenance. We stay in South Africa where the courts does not give much support and the narc get away with everything. And yes, I do have a lawyer trying to fight it. I have been emotionally, psycologically, financially, physically and sexually abused. He threatened that he will shoot me, even in front of witnesses. It was reported a YEAR ago to the police and when we go to court it get postponed every time. I am so dejected and depressed as justice is just not served. 😔
Good discussion. My cousin got divorced from a nasty narcissist who was a doctor who jumped from state to state trying to avoid his alimony payments to support the two boys they had together. It's odd to me that a man (esp a doctor) will try to avoid paying to support their own children. If you decide to divorce, get a VERY GOOD lawyer who can handle these things like they say in this video.
My current spouse is a narc, he refuses to sign the affidavit. He hasn’t paid rent to our home since July 2016, but refuses to take his name off the deed to buy, holding up my process to buy my home, plus hasn’t lived in the home since 2019.
There is absolutely NOTHING GOd can not do. He is The Creator and everything, His creation. Nature, science, the hearts of men, all things in heaven, on earth and below earth belong to Him. At His Word, nature, science and man do His biddings. Taste and see that God Almighty is not only a Lamb, but also a Lion of the tribe of Judah. I went through similar and when God stepped in as He advises in the BIble, “Be still and know that I am God”, it was miracles after miracles. Everything my narc ex didn’t want to sign was signed speedily to The Glory of God. Go down flat on your face and cry to Him “Abba, Father” and watch Him ride on the wings of the wind to save you.👏🏾
I dot know, how this in oth states, but in min, when I told them I could not afford the lawyer, they suggested to file a spouse support with the domestic relationship office.
My ex wanted everything and made me look like a thief. I am 71 and only wanted some, not all, of money in retirement accounts. Divorce lasted 3 years Married 30 years. He got everything. I got nothing. He paid off my attorney. Be careful.
At minute 5:09 Woman with lighter hair said, “…wife wanted custody of the kids (she “COULD “care less )about the beach house. Learn to use the phrase correctly. Instead say, .. (she “COULDN’T” care less )about the beach house.
I think science is showing it is not a spectrum that everyone or almost everyone has. There may be a difference between degrees of selfishness and true narcissism. There are actual brain differences in the frontal lobe and amygdala. Thank you for your information it is very helpful.
To distract them from your end goal. When their is a psycho in your house you don’t leave out the front door, you sneak out the back or crawl through a window....because it’s an escape tragedy.
He so wants this house. Its in my name and worth $600k. Id give it if he asks no alimony, no retirement/benefits, enough for a downpayment and a mortgage equal to what im paying now. W/ current interest rates, im taking on double the APR. Give me enough for a $2k mortgage out the door or enough to buy a low $300k house cash. Ill cover child under my healthcare. We split kids tuition. Kid has 3 years til 18 so thats not a big obligation. He can have 90% of items in the house. I feel this is super fare.
I'm confused about this because you were stating throughout the video that narcissists have money The Narcissist I deal with has no money their currency is the way people view them within the community and they stayed that is for the best interest of the child yet they go against the child's interests. How ar you sapost to deal with that. As well I find the video quite sexist where the majority of the focused is a man being a narcissist.
So it was lawyers like y’all that ruined my childhood. Awesome. Always go after the father. “It could be a her..” gag me. I know how hard it must have been to say “they” other than “him”. Antique vehicle?! Whose the narcissist here really… and children should NEVER be a bargaining chip or a trump card. BS
Wow, you gals could not be more wrong about us narcissists. I am trying to get out of wasting time and money on a mediator and just go to a trial and then off to the appellate court. We fear nothing and work by intimidation. That's why you should never hire a female attorney. Talk about emotional monsters.
How is a funsncially drpt wife going to live. Alimony but hes not rich likr my cousins husband. Colkege kid lives at hine all dym m er month st chrjstmas 2 weeks sprunk break other breaks and vidits How do we live I also gave no car no car insurance hes become irresp cheater liar denies obvious no mor as ls. Pays nothing for son.Doesnt even lay for a car insuranceike his friends dossnt pay good rcpendes spending cilkege fees.
The outcome of a divorce is the same whether one has NPD or not. If they have children, the wife gets the house, land, children, furniture, dog, alimony, child support. The father gets his clothes, car and shaver so he can get to work and pay the alimony and child support. Either way, no judge is going to make it hard for the mother. The only way a man can survive in today's world is not get married.
It's interesting you say "if there is no abuse" but honestly, everyone who lives a true narcissist has been subjected to abuse!
Definitely--
Physical, Emotional, Verbal, Financial, Spiritual and/or Sexual 😢
Horrendous while living with then and trying to break free through the divorce process -- cannot wait to be done!!
My divorce took 2.5 years and $300k. He weaponized the legal system. As a malignant narcissist, his currency was inflicting pain (pain being power); the more scorched earth the better. The kids were old enough to choose, so custody not an issue. 3 mediations. Do not ask lawyer if they’ve worked against narcissists, they will always say yes. Asking specific strategy is crucial. If they say the other lawyer will provide boundaries and can be relied on to keep him in line, they’ve never done this. If they ask if there is a diagnosis to evidence NPD, you will pay for their learning curve ( the vast majority are undiagnosed). If they concede to show good faith, expecting it shown in return, it will have the opposite effect. Fueling a concession bloodbath. Your lawyer matters, next to your therapist.
No.1 thing...I was smart,stoic and playing the long game. He was loud,damaging and completely emotional. I ended up getting what was most important to me . I beat him in court.
What if I don't have friends or family? This has kept me stuck with my narcissist husband.
You don't have a church group? Be apart of something. Be apart of something like volunteer or be affiliated with a workgroup...
I had to take out loans and start to create a new life
Excellent information. Thank you ladies. Powerful.
It is so true, you need to let them believe that they win something and are smart, they will feel great. I asked for him to pay my legal fees (which he was deliberately increasing) and it was not my intention for him to pay for my legal fees but it was just something that I was happy to let go.
Excellent. I'm an attorney and took notes.
Thank you this so helpful and so true. I’m going through it but it’s not at court yet. Thank you both.
Thank you for this video. I am in the process of strategizing, financially stable and getting really clear on these important questions before I come to you for legal help. I’m in the area so I look forward to working with your team in the future.
very insightful and unique info! Thank you
I'm in the beginnings of divorcing a narcissist and this is so true. We are only two months in and I'm already mentally and emotionally exhausted. I've read that this is one of the hardest things you will ever do, and it is absolutely true. This is all great advice. I sent this video to my attorney and hopefully it will help me get custody of my kids.
If only I had someone I could go to, to escape him. I am isolated, too.
@@sookiebyun4260Get financially stable! Get financially stable! Focus on yourself to get out of that situation, save money, volunteer, and get some type of plan as to what u want so it can end quickly.
I am a year and a half into my divorce and it still have not even started yet. I am struggling to get maintenance for my daughter and me. I was working at our shop (he is the sole owner), and he chased me away. So no income, no maintenance. We stay in South Africa where the courts does not give much support and the narc get away with everything. And yes, I do have a lawyer trying to fight it. I have been emotionally, psycologically, financially, physically and sexually abused. He threatened that he will shoot me, even in front of witnesses. It was reported a YEAR ago to the police and when we go to court it get postponed every time. I am so dejected and depressed as justice is just not served. 😔
Please be careful.🌷🙏🏼
Wow 😳 hang in there....trust in God he will see you through 🙏🤲
Not one adviser on Narcissism has ever mentioned Farmers and Divorcing them & settlements
I appreciate this video. This has been very helpful and encouraging. Thank you!
Great video, Amazing attorney!
Beautiful. Thank you ladies!
Thank you for This extremely helpful video and your expert advice you provide for the narcisistic abuse victims.
Good discussion. My cousin got divorced from a nasty narcissist who was a doctor who jumped from state to state trying to avoid his alimony payments to support the two boys they had together. It's odd to me that a man (esp a doctor) will try to avoid paying to support their own children. If you decide to divorce, get a VERY GOOD lawyer who can handle these things like they say in this video.
Do you mean child support payments?
Alimony is different.
This is spot on!
that is a nice one if you have a beach house....
Our narc said
He wants EVERYTHING...even the dog and the children.
Same here
Same
My current spouse is a narc, he refuses to sign the affidavit. He hasn’t paid rent to our home since July 2016, but refuses to take his name off the deed to buy, holding up my process to buy my home, plus hasn’t lived in the home since 2019.
Pray and God Almighty will step in.
There is absolutely NOTHING GOd can not do. He is The Creator and everything, His creation. Nature, science, the hearts of men, all things in heaven, on earth and below earth belong to Him. At His Word, nature, science and man do His biddings. Taste and see that God Almighty is not only a Lamb, but also a Lion of the tribe of Judah.
I went through similar and when God stepped in as He advises in the BIble, “Be still and know that I am God”, it was miracles after miracles. Everything my narc ex didn’t want to sign was signed speedily to The Glory of God.
Go down flat on your face and cry to Him “Abba, Father” and watch Him ride on the wings of the wind to save you.👏🏾
What do you do when their currency is control & misery ?
I dot know, how this in oth states, but in min, when I told them I could not afford the lawyer, they suggested to file a spouse support with the domestic relationship office.
I am very interested it?
Unbundled attorneys, and LLLTs are great when you cannot afford regular attorney costs!
What’s that??
What if they want absolutely everything?
My ex wanted everything and made me look like a thief. I am 71 and only wanted some, not all, of money in retirement accounts. Divorce lasted 3 years
Married 30 years. He got everything. I got nothing. He paid off my attorney. Be careful.
What a dirty itch
At minute 5:09 Woman with lighter hair said, “…wife wanted custody of the kids
(she “COULD “care less )about the beach house.
Learn to use the phrase correctly.
Instead say, ..
(she “COULDN’T” care less )about the beach house.
Absolutely.....one of my language pet peeves that people mangle ALL THE TIME!
@@tracigodfrey4965 love 💗 I just don’t know p
What is the name of the attorney interviewed?
25k by cashback for 6 months- is this correct? In other words, 2k per week in cashback in Publix ?
I think science is showing it is not a spectrum that everyone or almost everyone has. There may be a difference between degrees of selfishness and true narcissism. There are actual brain differences in the frontal lobe and amygdala. Thank you for your information it is very helpful.
I love my son and don't think I have to meet him at a neutral location. I should be able to see my son at his house
Why not give them their "currency" from the start? Whay go after it?
To distract them from your end goal. When their is a psycho in your house you don’t leave out the front door, you sneak out the back or crawl through a window....because it’s an escape tragedy.
He so wants this house. Its in my name and worth $600k. Id give it if he asks no alimony, no retirement/benefits, enough for a downpayment and a mortgage equal to what im paying now. W/ current interest rates, im taking on double the APR. Give me enough for a $2k mortgage out the door or enough to buy a low $300k house cash. Ill cover child under my healthcare. We split kids tuition. Kid has 3 years til 18 so thats not a big obligation. He can have 90% of items in the house. I feel this is super fare.
This is reazon why nobody wants serious relationships today bcz allways is a nightmare end day
I'm confused about this because you were stating throughout the video that narcissists have money The Narcissist I deal with has no money their currency is the way people view them within the community and they stayed that is for the best interest of the child yet they go against the child's interests. How ar you sapost to deal with that. As well I find the video quite sexist where the majority of the focused is a man being a narcissist.
Divorce system is rigged. None of this matters.
Your a female, please explain how it's rigged ? Rigged against the man - yes.
my wife is narcissist and a good one and im bald headed , i need a mountain lion!
All we a w❤m❤😂❤
Yeah tips how narcissistic women destroy men in divorce him and take the money
All irreverent to reality.
So it was lawyers like y’all that ruined my childhood. Awesome. Always go after the father. “It could be a her..” gag me. I know how hard it must have been to say “they” other than “him”. Antique vehicle?! Whose the narcissist here really… and children should NEVER be a bargaining chip or a trump card. BS
Wow, you gals could not be more wrong about us narcissists. I am trying to get out of wasting time and money on a mediator and just go to a trial and then off to the appellate court. We fear nothing and work by intimidation. That's why you should never hire a female attorney. Talk about emotional monsters.
You’re not truly a narcissist is you have insight. 😂
🤣🤣🤣you sound like a playground bully!
How is a funsncially drpt wife going to live. Alimony but hes not rich likr my cousins husband. Colkege kid lives at hine all dym m er month st chrjstmas 2 weeks sprunk break other breaks and vidits
How do we live I also gave no car no car insurance hes become irresp cheater liar denies obvious no mor as ls. Pays nothing for son.Doesnt even lay for a car insuranceike his friends dossnt pay good rcpendes spending cilkege fees.
The outcome of a divorce is the same whether one has NPD or not. If they have children, the wife gets the house, land, children, furniture, dog, alimony, child support. The father gets his clothes, car and shaver so he can get to work and pay the alimony and child support. Either way, no judge is going to make it hard for the mother. The only way a man can survive in today's world is not get married.
Bs. Im in YOUR shoes. Narcissistic men are brutal and vindictive.
Good. Act right and don’t be an itch.