What Would Jesus Do | Randy | Sydney Comedy Festival
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ย. 2024
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Cracker Night is the opening night gala of the Sydney Comedy Festival. Featuring a dazzling line up of the biggest and best Australian legends, international stars and next big things of comedy, Cracker Night kicks the festival off with a bang!
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"What would Jesus do?"
"He'd get FUCKED UP!!!"
True words; life lessons.
He’d get absolutely nailed
HE’D GET FUCKED UP! *Payday 2 Hohoho assault plays*
@@LocalFishDealer nice to see a fellow heister in the comments
@@quakxy_dukx you are a genius
@@tagueadams6799 it was a while ago but it was probably what I like to call delayed wit
“ME AND PETER ARE DOING SHOTS WITH MY BLOOD LETS PARTYYYYY” *proceeds to beatbox* “JUDAS GET OFF OF HIM” *back to beatboxing*
@Roberto Rivera yeah but we have to stay with the biblical figures
@Roberto Rivera yes, but it was replaced with Judas for a reason I find is funny, as he kissed jesus in the bible lol
Waiter: Sir you can't keep drinking your blood, and we won't be serving alcohol to you anymore.
Jesus: Can I have a glass of water?
Waiter: Sure
Jesus: ;)
He said " GARY GET OFF HIM "
*What’s the best way to make a decision?*
1. Flip a coin
2. 8-ball
3. Go to a random page of the Bible
Actually, each of those have some decent advantages.
1. Quick and easy was to be decisive about a simple decision.
2. Same as #1, but for a more complex and multiple answer issue.
3. Probably won't help at all with decisiveness, but might contain some tangential wisdom to help you with whatever issue you are having, or at least get you to step back and consider your situation.
3
i prefer my patented method of shutting down and refusing to make a choice
@@zenosol234 “sir will you _please_ place your order, you’re holding up the line”
(Crosses arms and pouts) “nuh uh don’t wanna”
@@davidtucker9498
Yeah tangible wisdom is sure to be found from some unknown author who's hobbies probably included molesting his daughter, or molesting his goat.
His humor style is so childish, but what he says is the very opposite of childish and I love it!
That's gotta be a style of comedy. I bet it has a name, too!
@@officialjarix “The Randy Style”
There is only good humor and bad humor.
@@worldhello1234 it’s good humor
Not many people can pull that off successfully, and Randy is king.
“Tumble weeds and pregnant teens” is my new favorite thing I ever heard.
It’s the new GOP campaign motto.
@@andybaldman Yes, the party that promotes sexual restraint and not strangling the economy but just letting it go is going to lead to tumbleweeds and pregnant teens
Sounds like Tucson, Arizona when the college is out for spring break
If someone were to make a parody of "Victorious" by P!@tD, "tumble weeds and pregnant teens" would be a great replacement for "double bubble disco queens"
sounds like a title for a rad music record
Dibs on the rock group: "Drunk Muppet".
Hes basically if animal got sober and shaved
@@themetalmaniac1111 I hadn't thought of that. Now I'll never be able to unsee it.
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a band with the same name
FORMERLY Drunk Muppet.
@@bradleymorgan8223 If anything, that's an even better group name.
Just incredible puppeteering
I'm amazed by the understanding of the normally subconscious movements of stand up that the puppeteer must have to purposefully make Randy move like that.
@@ricosuave6898 how dare you think Randy isn't real XD
Puppet?
He looks like a Rick and morty character
What puppeteering?
2:17 - 2:38 This will forever be my favorite moment from any comedian ever!
Temmie Stay with me! Stay with me..
Same!!
HELP MEEE!
that and his gumtree story fucking killed me
Never did I think I’d ever see a Temmie + Toga mix, but here I am in a Randy Feltface comment section. Amazing.
So i googled.. and there it is..
Proverbs 31:6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. ... from the King James Bible
~laughs~
If only he'd read the first part about being ready to perish Lol.
There's a lot of useless bs in the bible, but also a few snippets of gold like that verse. Lol
Yeah, for all that the average Christian Church rages against alcohol the Bible is pretty specific that it's drunkenness AKA alcoholism that is to be avoided not just alcohol in general. Which is basically just another variant of "if the shit you're doing hurts you or someone else don't do it." - God
This video lasts 3:16, John.
King James knew what was up
God I officially love Randy Feltface now. This guy is funny as hell.
God?
Which god?
@@WhoThisMonkey our lord and savior Jimothy
@@WhoThisMonkey Cthulhu
like, I'm just here to be the 666th like. like?
667
Remember folks, when people ask "what would Jesus, do", the answer "make a whip and then use it while throwing over tables in a church" is entirely an option, and one I think people don't use enough. There's also "tell a guy to cut out his own eyes" and "slutshame a bunch of dudes to stop a stoning"
Ummm... I know every Reverence your trying to make. Really bad wording choices there pal. Especially the last one.... slutshaming? He didn't slutshame... he just regular shamed. The very reversal of slutshaming actually. Because they were slutshaming, and he regular shamed them to save the victim.
But you know.... I don't want to be overly religious about it. Still it's like saying " jesus Slipped alcohol into everyones water at a wedding to try and get them drunk." If that's the way you see turning water into wine then.... I guess. but people who don't actually know the story might go on thinking it's the real version.
Again... I'm not trying to be a downer... you get an up vote from me with your creativity.
@@celestialvision5073 nah, I get it, that particular situation (him writing in the ground after saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" has never been elaborated on, but I've always felt the best Jesus headcanon is that he was writing out their own sins, which, considering they were stoning a woman for having sex outside of marriage, could have been all the subject appropriate sins. Definitely not the most biblically accurate, but one of the funniest options
@@celestialvision5073 It's heavily implied that several of them were her patrons.
In Abrahamic law BOTH parties get stoned. So if she was a slut then they were mansluts.
Also if he wrote their sins in the dirt, which many theologians believe, then what he was really doing was threatening them. Which is hilarious.
Nick Malachai I prefer to say “kill a lot of pigs.”
@@celestialvision5073 "but people who don't actually know the story might go on thinking it's the real version"
Which really doesn't matter. If they don't already know the real story then they don't care to know the real story anyway.
GARY GET OFF HIM
Oiiiiiii offim
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"What would Jesus do?"
Medieval Priest: Donno why your looking at him.
What mind of medieval priest...
Remember, your answer will definitely cause a war
@@ewwpoorpeople5684 unless, it's a priest from [insert year here] BC. Or, during the time that the Romans considered Jesus full of shit
I read that in a Scottish accent.
@@VideosByCal Because your Scottish? Idk I feel like that would make sense.
I guess the Irish Catholics are just keeping it real RELIGIOUS STYLE!
really, any christians who aren't protestant. Go to a Greek Orthodox Easter service if you want to have a good time.
@@jedh3721 Baptist technically aren't supposed to drink either but they don't really care because they all live within a 1 mile radius of a moonshine shop that offers free samples
@@themedia1271 Depends on the Baptists. The Bible warns against drunkenness, and many protestant churches take prudence to the extreme and ban drinking altogether. Much like the Pharisees of Jesus' time...
@@davidtucker9498 I feel like that mentality is starting to fade out as the boomers and gen-x crowd are starting to retire and be replaced with millennials and even gen-z folk. Most of my Protestant friends enjoy a drink now and again, myself included. But we make sure not to go crazy with it.
@@davidtucker9498 Yeah, from baptist church, alcohol is not frowned upon, drinking it in excess to point of drunkenness is. Else communion would be just grape juice instead of the cheap wine we get.
Someone give this man a Netflix special
Agreed!!
"What would Jesus do?"
He literally turned water into wine just to have a drink with his mates.
And not just a glass, we're talking three huge amphoras full of water turned to wine, the GOOD wine, after the party had run out of even the cheap stuff.
Come on Randy, you SAWF KAWK
And Jesus spake and his words flowed like wine..."blessed be the bartenders for see, they created happiness, see the followers of the bartenders for I tell you...this is one fine Wallbanger...'
What would Jesus do so I cracked it open
Then it told you to Crack one open lol
I love the dance he does at the beginning
“YEAH IT’S SO EXCITING TO BE HERE!!”
“I’m no longer on the PISS”
His voice on 1:47 -- "OHMYGODTHATLOOKSLIKEFUN." 🤣
How have I never heard of this guy??? This is hilarious!!!
Same for me. I think it is a Mandela Effect.
@@Cybraw2005 That’s the opposite of a Mandela effect.
I know I just found his stuff a few days ago. He's content re-energizes my soul.
Say what you want, Randy is too wholesome and pure for this world.
I wouldn’t say pure...
What fuckin' comedian have you been watching
I don’t think those words mean what you think they mean
Andrea H Nope, I mean them.
The puppet that pantomimed being assraped by a nun with an armadillo?
Warning! Don't do what I did! Don't watch this while eating. I just nearly choked to death. Bloody hilarious!
This just reminded me, in Japanese, when we say Jesus Christ it sounds like we’re saying “Yes Kristo”
But yes is hai
@@larapalma3744 I’m aware of that, but I’m told by english speakers that when I say “Jesus Christ” in Japanese or イエスキリスト or in romaji “iesu kirisuto”
It sounds like “yes kristo”
@@SkyLimit101 Pretty sure it sounds like that in every language OTHER than English and Hebrew.
@@BlackEpyon In Español, it's Hey Zeus.
When even god wants you at the pub
YOU SOFT COOOOOOOCK
"OMG THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN" - bruce wayne is that you ?
This man is a pure genius.. so funny!! I've stumbled across some Australian Treasure and I'm all the way in East London!! I love Randy Feltface!! What a guy!!
I literally started crying this was so funny.
“ Me and Peter are doing shots of my blood, let’s party! “
That was possibly the best description of Adelaide ever
0:06 literally six fucking seconds into the video and I’m already crying.
As a Christian this is actually kind of hysterical, found this super funny! “Jesus sitting in the clouds just texting ‘me come to the pub’” 😂😂😂 Sometimes it feels that way hahaha
That's a very funny bit too.
As a Christian myself me and Jesus would go to the Irish pub and have a whiskey
"COME TO THE PUB YOU SOFT CAAAWCK"
-Jesus book of Randy 3:05
1:35 the sound effects 😂
“ME AND PETER ARE DOING SHOTS OF MY BLOOD!!”
A more accurate depiction of the Last Super.
Does that make Judas the soft cock of this scenario?
The movement on “GARY GET OFF HIM!” is so fucking funny 🤣🤣🤣
I don't know, beer goggles can cure ED to a certain extent. Man the puppeteer doesn't get enough credit for the animation in the performances
*I brought you an armadillo*
HELP ME!!!
Wine in the “bible times” wasn’t nearly as strong as it is nowadays. It’s literally just grape juice someone forgot in their cupboard for a couple months
Sure, but you can absolutely get drunk off of it. And a lot of it was absolutely incredibly strong, if very foul tasting. I mean pour a bunch of grape juice into a open air container and leave it out for a while and that will be pretty alcoholic. They even made some if it with yeasy. It's true that the bible says to not drink to excess, but people in the bible certainly didn't seem to have a problem with drinking some wine on occasion.
Yeah very boozy to the point that beer was considered weak and the only way to drink it was to dilute it like a squash
I mean, the wine might not be as strong but that's because they watered it down back then to as much as 20 parts water to 1 part wine. At least the Greeks and Romans did, since their wine was recorded at being a little less than twice as strong as what we use now and it being one of the safer drinks pre-water purifiers.
Actually no, you're wrong. Sort of... Greek and Roman wine was actually STRONGER than modern wine, the difference is, they often cut it with water (This actually made water safe to drink.) and other ingredients.
When Jesus turned water into wine, the host actually noted that Jesus actually brought the "good stuff." Jesus: the ultimate party bro.
Idk if Im pushing this factoid Ik into the wrong part of history but Im fairly certain the reason alcohol has gotten stronger is because of the south and other heavy drinking areas in history. Im forgetting some of the finer details but I remember crops and too much of it, so they turned it into alcohol. However, there was so much shit to use they eventually created a strong ass liquor and drinking problem to go hand in hand.
The fact that this video is 3:16 makes me so happy.
"OMG THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN" GOT ME HAHAHA
This never fails to make my day!!!
I never get tired of watching this
2:31 Gets me every single time
Just discovered these videos... Am hooked
I laughed so hard my chest hurt and I couldn't breathe the final part was fucking golden
The man turns water into wine, what did you expect? LMAO
this dude is incredible
So this is the rejected Muppet reboot I heard so much about
Crash has been moving up since he moved out of berstins house
Very true
*I see you’re a man of culture as well*
0:21 click it as much as u want ur welcome
Absolutely fucking hilarious
Just found this guy, and now I'm binging every clip I can dig up.
I discovered Randy this year. I did NOT know he’d been going for over 10 yests
Aussie bloke says joke and i can hear audience laughing in australian...👍
Holy shit, in nine years Randy has changes so much visually.
Even Jesus is telling him to go party XD
3:10
*_"ME AND PETER ARE DOING SHOTS OF MY BLOOD LETS PARTYYYYY"_*
Wow... Jesus was knee how to party so
As a hardcore Christian I find this absolutely hilarious. 🤣🤣
A "hardcore Christian"? Ah, that explains the musical choice in the bit lol
Oh damn ... I can't breathe!!! 😆
“GARY, GET OFF ‘IM!”😂😂😂
the bible verse in question is actually proverbs chapter 31 verse 6 and the full verse reads out
*Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.*
Isn’t wine a strong drink in itself tho?
@@masternoob9673 not really, most wine is fairly weak imho
@@masternoob9673 stronger than beer, comparable to liqueurs and mixers, significantly tamer than typical spirits.
I love Randy's comedy 😂
I'd like to think this takes takes place in the expanded Sesame Street/Muppets universe.
If Fozzie learned a few lessons from this guy, he’d verbally rip apart Statler and Waldorf.
So I just randomly came across Randy today. I watched a video and thought it was funny. I decided to try another. It made me laugh. I then came to this one. Now I am in fuckin tears. I haven't laughed like this for ages.
Thanks for posting
'Hellppp Meee!' pmsl
How often do l make jokes about chemistry? Periodically.
This sounds like a party and a half!!! lol
So intense he never blinked.
2:17 🤣🤣🤣
Jesus really knows how to party, I mean, even his death is a *party*
It's good stand up and pretty good puppetry. Nice.
Looks like Neil Patrick Harris at 2:31, lol.
this guys amazing. doesn't miss a beat. he would win Australia's (or if that doesn't exist, Brittan's) Got Talent
If you listen closely at 1:41, you can hear Toad in the background
God tier no joke 😂😂
He needs a Netflix special
wHAt WoULd JeSuS dO!?… HE’D GET FUCKED UP YEAAAAAAAH!😹🤣 I love Randy feltface
1:19 That One Clap Someone Did Thinking They Would All Clap For Adelaide
3:00, COME TO THE PUB, YOU SOFT CAWK!
Such energy :)
The beat boxing kills me.
I thought he was going to end up at the 'turning water into wine' story, but this works too.
2:31 nice to see NPH enjoying some comedy lol
"What would jesus do?! HED GET FUCKED UP! YEAH!!!!"
Umm dude used to turn water to wine supposedly
Like
Definitely he wouldve gotten fucked up lol
I love THIS!!
this is the fucking best thing in the world
2:12 my name is sidney and i got really scared when he said my name lmao 😂
He's just making sure you're paying attention
1:20 who's hanging out in the rafters?
Its either the Phantom or Batman. 🤷♂️
LOL at first glance it looked to me like somebody was literally hanging off of there and I was like "WTF". Until I realized the perspective and that they were sitting on something.
Great observation!
Who's standing creepily in the rafters wearing knee socks?
Sorry guys. That was me. Didn’t know Greg was gonna aim the darn camera so you got a good shot of my legs.
(just a joke btw)
2:40 🤣 This is one of my favorite lines from his show.
Me and Peter are doing shots of my blood!!! -Jesus on a cloud
Wait, this guy has been going for ten years? I only heard about him a while back during the "THE PLOT THICKENS" memes!
Oh good lord..oh dear me...lol..LOL!!
2:17 i laugh good meme
🤣🤣👏👏👏👏😌👌
yea no I'm taking a lil break right now, thank Daddy 😎🙏
"I was fuckin this monke right" 🤣
"Peter and me are doing shots of my blood!"