"What if calories would not exist"...this is just what I needed!! Brilliant! Thank you very much for your ever so honest vids. You truly keep me motivated through my struggles. Just today I feel so much like restriction because it is so warm and "People" do not need so much food in summer. Keep up and stay strong 💗
That's a classic bit of BS your ED feeds you. Do you think your family and friends should eat less in the summer? We always need food, but ESPECIALLY in recovery you need it! Keep going lovely x
When I initially clicked on this video I thought: "no way am I gonna relate to this, I'm not anorexic, I've just been dieting for most of my life" (because my body has never ever been underweight, even as a child I was chubbier than everyone else.) But watching it made me realize just how much it has been CONSUMING me to try to stay "just under where my body wants to be." So I really wanna thank you for sharing this as it's super healpful. And I also wanna acknowledge how much more difficult this concept is, for the girls who were never thin enough by society's standard's, even when they were perfectly healthy.
THIS IS EVERYTHING!! Seriously, I wish that everybody - be it someone who struggles with an eating disorder, disordered eating, "chronic dieting," etc. - could hear this and what you have to say because you express SO so many incredible truths. So much of what you speak about regarding the different forms that restriction comes in is something I can relate to, and honestly its a huge wake up call and tough love kind of thing to realize that yea, I can choose to live in my ed bubble and accept it simply because its a bigger bubble than it used to be. But honestly, like you said, I'd rather just have no bubble at all
Yep, any level of restriction or weight below your body's happy place will ALWAYS be an ED bubble. Is it really worth it? Sacrificing your whole freedom just to hold onto a little sneaky restriction here and there x
You are honestly so positive when it comes to your recovery 💖 it’s a great trait to have, Admire you so much for continuing to battle your fears with your wedding coming up! Regardless of what you weigh you’ll still look beautiful 😚
This is an AMAZING video! You just explained from 13:50 till 15:21 my biggest fear. I don’t dare to give in to my cravings because my treatment team and parents don’t think it’s good to eat (my craving: 5 pieces of bread with PB) but I want to and now I’m not allowed so I’m restricting. But how can I ever recover then if I’m restricting!? Watching your videos changed my perspective about how to really recover so much! In a GOOD way! It amazingly helpful! Thank you so much! Can’t wait to see another video :) Keep strong
I hate the concept of a "maintenance diet". It makes me really scared of hitting my "goal weight" because it means that I'll have to restrict again to maintain it. So I completely agree with you, there shouldn't be such thing as a maintenance diet at all!
I totally agree about target weights - it's so counterproductive! Particularly when you might get discharged at a low "healthy" bmi. It's like 'holy shit, I'm still starving, this isnt my natural weight! If the professionals are saying this weight is okay to maintain at, my normal (higher) weight is "too big". I freak out and imagine everyone else can easily maintain at this low weight...so my disorder is like 'you are greedy, destined to be fat, abnormally hungry etc'. Your take on recovery is SO great for me right now. It's like a big breath of fresh air !!!!.
Wow! Just noticed you hit over 5,000 subscribers! Awesome!!! You deserve it! Thank you for your videos. You are so relatable and inspire me so much. They are the highlight of my week. 💗💗💗
Megs I watch your vids while I'm eating and they help me so much! It makes my day to see you've uploaded haha. it's so lovely to hear you talk about things like quasi recovery, it really is so easy to choose something like low fat pb and justify it bc it's still peanut butter! You are wise and strong and such an inspiration! Keep fighting lovely!! ♡
it takes literally only a sec until the ED thoughts come in when we start make meals an ear food. we need to react on what our bodies need before that even if its super difficult!! working on weight gain itself is already difficult because we gotta eat more and we gotta challenge ourselves to conquer our fear foods. doing it under restriction regardless how subtle it is makes it harder for us to accept our weight gain and be willing to continue our journey. It will make us physically recover but our fears will remain, and we will end up with freakin' quasi recovery!!!! We will gain weight anyway so why not eat whatever we want focusing on our better future! That is my opinion as a person who experienced quasi recovery for multiple times! Thank you for sharing this Meg!! I love your attitude toward your recovery journey💘
“Everytime you restrict, you’re strengthening the idea that you NEED to do that” yes! Thank you! Would u mind telling me what video editing app you use?
That's video exactly what I needed ! I'm scared to eat " treat foods " because I'm so scared to have to eat an enormous quantity to be satisfied ! Went to a birthday this week and didn't eat the cake because I felt I had to eat the all cake otherwise. Didn't care about the calories but just being fustracted because I can't have it all ... have a nice weekend !
iMia the reason you want to eat all the cake is because you need it all. You won’t want to forever, but if you are wanting it it’s a message from you body!
I appreciate your openness and admire your strength. I never thought about sneaky restriction before, but it makes complete sense. Even though you may be eating, all the rules that you still abide by are, indeed, forms of restriction. I don't know if I will ever be able to fully let go of the restricting behaviors, but bringing this to [our] attention may help set the stage for full-on change!
You can ABSOLUTELY let go of restrictions, you just need to do it!!! Ans that's not saying it will be easy, but it's so so possible. Keep challenging, OPPOSITE ACTIONS
Such a perfect video! Literally I have just woken up and my parents are coming to visit me at college today and are taking me to lunch. I planned on skipping breakfast so I could enjoy my lunch. But I made myself some breakfast and watched your video, because I can enjoy both breakfast and lunch!!! So much love❤️
YES! There is a reason they sweeten PB or add oil-because it is tasty and is way more creamy. I feel like I progress in recovery and then the messages from the “health” media and doctors kick in and I take steps back. I rely on the recovery community and videos like yours to keep my perspective. I find that I’ll “eat and eat” when I’m still restricting certain food groups-as in I’m eating more calories but still not balanced-incorporating all foods shuts off that message that I want more and more. I never thought that would happen. The crazy part of anorexia is I’ll go right back to what I was doing even though I know what I know. You look great in that orange color! That’s a beautiful top!
It's great listening You. I try and try but si hard. Scares me to feel I will never be able to have a normal relatoonship with food. Wish I could talk the way you do. Watching your videos really helps and si kind of therapy for me. Thank You very much 😘😘
I LOVE THIS ONE!!! It is a message I resonate so wildly with. I feel I'm blessed enough to have understood that in order to fully recovery one needs to fully go all in. Because "pseudo recovery" is a thing. Thank you for sharing this.
oh my gosh, that bit about eating for your mental, emotional and SOCIAL health as well as physical was just mind-blowing. i've kinda half-heartedly told myself to 'eat for the soul, it's all yummy points hahaha' but i've never really believed it. seeing the physical as one of four pillars has just changed everything for me. it's the little things that really make me believe that i am actually capable of changing my ingrained thought patterns. 🙏🏻
Excellent! I've had a varying sized bubble for almost 40 years, and I'm darn tired of it. I can honestly say this is the first time I've taken a good hard look at my eating disorder, and am taking positive steps to be free of it. Your videos help so very much; thank you!
Thank you for this video! I think you're amazing! This is the first time I've ever commented on a youtube vid but just wanted to say this was just what I needed to watch today. I started recovery a few weeks ago but had a slip up today when I didn't eat until the afternoon to "make up" for eating nachos with my best friends for dinner last night. Your head can trick you so easily into slipping back into old habits :( Can't wait to have my life back and find that freedom. Thank you for being such an inspiration to us all xx
Krystal Webb keep challenging it, the more you do compensations & restrictions the more you’re strengthening the idea you’ll need to. You don’t need to, but the only way to relearn that is through going against the thoughts in your head telling you to 😘 thanks for the comment!
That was in a long time one of the most eye-opening videos, really touching my raw nerve!! Recovering from ED, I always make myself think that I am recovered..it even seems to others that I am completely like them. But I know deep in my mind that I DO have those sneaky habits..I know if calories didn't exist, how much more I would eat. Damn. I have to break free, somehow, from the fear of weight gain...
So true!! I get soooo confused about which products to buy and use that it takes me forever to shop (choosing between 2 products) and then to prepare my food (choosing between the lower sugar one or saving the high sugar one for when I "deserve" it). Thanks for bringing this to light! I used to deny myself french fries when I was in college. I went a year without having a french fry just to see if I could do it. I used to watch my friends eat their McDonald's while I just sat there eating my "sad meal" as I used to call it because I did poorly on my exams. I gotta break the cycle! Thank you for not letting us use excuses. YOLO!
So happy to have found your channel, Thank you so so much🤗 you've helped me so much more then you think and thank you for such great videos! Hope you are having an amazing day!
Omg this is everything I needed to hear. Thank you so much. As someone who recovers from what healthy in the BMI chart it is super hard for me justifing eating as much and what I want to.
Thank you so much for this! I hit "healthy" bmi two weeks ago but I still feel starving and it scares me but I'm proud to say I've pushed through and kept eating normally 🤗
Thanks you for this video! It's given me a lot to think about. It's true only you really know if your restricting or not (most of the time). I've been trying super hard to stick to my meal plan, but I am still restricting..it's best to be honest with yourself! You are right it is SO tiring, and I'm sick of sticking to my same restrictive habits. Having freedom in eating sounds pretty good to me! Much LOVE to you. ❤️
THANK YOU for what you said about PB. I always eat the same kind as you, and I do think it is restrictive when people say that you should go for the one that has as few ingredients as possible. It also sets you up for later dilemmas-- what if the only PB available is the regular kind (which is often the case)? You won't feel comfortable eating it. And then, does this mean you have to eat the healthiest version of everything? The logic is not conducive to freedom, and it's important to at least show yourself, for a long while, that you can eat the more "processed" or whatever you want to call it version and that it's ok. If you really then decide you like the natural PB that separates and tastes like nothing, then go for it. But then it is more likely based on preference, not out of fear.
Just woke up for a minute OMG MEG❤️SY is on, saving this for my morning sunshine Beautiful 🙏🏻😊 🇦🇺 nite nite 😘 The joy you bring at the end of our week 🤗😇
I actually have been super lucky in my recovery because my doctor knows if I'm restricting or holding back in any way just by looking at my face and attitude. Even if I gained weight, she immediately knows when I'm struggling, kind of amazing ;) thank you for this video, very interesting!!
I really think that this video will hit a lot of people in/attempting recovery with the real truth re; 'recovery and "recovery". In today's diet obsessed world. Not an easy pill to swallow or truth to hear but it is what it is! Thanks for the reminder m xxxx
unashamedly yes! :) its so true though and I think its super important that people speak up about 'recovery' attempts versus recovery attempts (if you know what I mean :D). I don't have the eloquence or grasp of it as a topic that I allows me to talk about it in a clear and concise way so thank you for bringing it up! xx
Thank you for being here on this wonderful earth! I’m coming off a restrictive/ortho diet. I don’t think i got too malnourished (but I did loose my period) and I look “normal” but my body now is in EXTREME HUNGER mode! Now that I’m trying to recover and eating different things I’m so frustrated with how much I’m always hungry and I feel like I binge eat when I do eat. I’m so afraid of weight gain/fat gain. Any advice? I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but the only reason I fell into my ED is because I started a diet to lose weight. I lost 50lbs and was so proud!!! But lately the hardest part is staying at my goal weight and not being so dang STARVING all the time.
This is such a relevant video for me right now meg! I always feel like I'm nearly 'recovered' but keep catching myself doing slightly compensatory behaviours or tweaking things in a restrictive way 🙄 anorexia is such a sneaky bugger the way it can disguise itself! Hope you're having a fab weekend! Xxx
Also you're so right about the NHS 'target weights', the target weight my team have set me at age 20 is the exact same as the one they set me when I was 13!! 😂
Wow I just had an "aha moment" where I totally connected some points that are holding me back in my recovery! I have been suffering from anorexia and bulimia for 10 years now and currently managed to get my weight back up to a relatively healthy point, but I am definitely still restricting, cutting our whole food groups, skipping meals, but bingeing and purging A LOT, which caused some of the weight I put back on. So I always thought I can't let go and eat what ever I am craving, because that would fuel binges, but it's actually not true at all. I binge and purge because (well partly, there is other reasons too) I am denying myself to eat what my body is craving. The problem is still to get these things separated, as I couldn't just eat three chocolate bars in a row without losing it and eating more, because "I already screwed up so I better eat some more and purge it then". Stopping the purging is the hardest part for me, but hopefully I will get there one day. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your videos!
Thanks for this video meg! I always look forward to your videos on the weekend, you really are a constant positive push in my recovery. Honestly so grateful that youre so willing to be honest and vulnerable in your vlogs. Love you and hope that you enjoyed your time at the beach!! :)
YAAAASSS!!! Spot on as always! Seriously, your videos help soooo much! Yes, we need to burst our ED bubbles!!!! Pop them away to be free!!! Lots of love as always to you Meg xxx
Boy am I glad I saw this video. I've been subconsciously doing all these sneaky restrictions but been none the wiser that it was still restricting... I don't know if that makes sense but I know what I mean!
Another wonderful vlog that I know will be so useful to get me in the right headspace for IP this week and especially after discharge because it's so many things I do now. Bless you sweetie
This was a really thoughtful and interesting video. Restriction is not the same for everyone. But, it is true to say that we are the only one's to know if we are deceiving ourselves. I don't know why, but one of the other comments on this video made me think about something. Isn't it strange that we want to be able to show our natural selves and embrace our imperfections regarding our bodies and what we look like, to shift the focus away from our aesthetics. Yet, a lot of photos on Instagram reinforce the need to manipulate aesthetics through perfectly presented meals, with the most flattering angles and lighting? xx
I hear you I hear my body and they say the same things I believe you have got it spot on and this is the way to 100% recovery but it takes real focus everyday and repeat repeat well done for your recovery I am on my journey to
The PB thing couldnt have come at a better time. I am such a knob, the ED bloke told me to stick within an amount of calories until I meet my dietician next week, which is a nightmare because I had stopped counting calories and reading labels etc and now I am back to weighing food again as i've been told to! Plus I am SO hungry all of the time and cannot honour that because I've been told to keep under a certain number?! OH but if i lose weight i have to go IP? It seems so backwards to me. SO, I weighed out the amount of PB that id been using for over night oats to calculate the calories and it was so much more than i expected, and now the anorexia is being an absolute bitch. As its 'over the amount I'm supposed to have'- according to the ED bloke AND the anorexia, I feel like I should chuck the oats and re do it. BUT, I feel like for RECOVERY, I should eat it in the morning and see that nothing terrible is going to happen?! But then next time do I put loads less in? Its all very backwards. Im so stuck with what to do, please help :(((( Xx
alyshalauren oh my god, so relatable. Fuck what anyone else says though or the thoughts in your head. If you listen to that shit you’ll stay trapped in the same cycles & anxiety & rules that you’re in now. The only way out is to go against all of it... the counting, weighing, this bloke, the AN. You need shit tons of PB to honour your cravings & hunger & fight these stupid bull shit rules. Keep going lovely 😘😘😘
This video hit me very hard bc I was eating the rest of an ice cream pint I had left but I worked out before hand to enjoy it and I haven't worked out in an eternity made me kinda sad to be honest like why can't I just fight this ed for real.. it seems so hard.. :(
Just learn from it. Compensation is a restriction, and one if you think you need to do it and so do it, then you'll always have to do it. It's only when we challenge these things that we realise they're actually a load of shit haha. Good luck x
I can’t believe how long I was in denial about how much I was restricting. Now I can see it so clearly as I look back. But boy some sneaky restrictions still come up... then opposite action
I've always wanted to try indian food but had been to scared to eat it. Yesterday, my co-worker surprised me and made an indian dish for me. Instead of being grateful that she would do that for me, my first reaction was to panic over the fact that I had no idea what ingredients was in it. I felt horrible that I couldn't be grateful about it. It was such a sweet gesture and all I could think about was coming up with an excuse not to eat it.
Okay..but if i ate whatever i want i will be obese ..and that is unhealthy Or maybe i want to eat 3 bars of chocolate and that is so unhealthy What i mean here is that i will have diabetes if i ate whatever i want Give me advice please
I don't think you would, because your body wont want 3 chocolate bars in a row always. When I tried to honour my cravings last time in recovery I went through a period of eating 3 chocolate bars in a row, and then when my body got to a healthy weight for itself it just stopped craving it. I genuinely no longer wanted 3 chocolate bars in a row. It would have made me feel sick. We only crave that much food in recovery because we've been denying it for so long and we need it x
Love love love your channel xox. Can you make a post with all of your clever analogies?! Maybe on instagram or just in the description of a video or something... I've heard so many genius analogies from you and sometimes I forget which videos you said them in or I forget to write them down so I'd love to just have them all!
You see, right now in my recovery I'm only eating safe foods that are a normal amount of calories. But I'm not challenging myself to eat anything else. It's so hard because I don't know how to challenge this fear. But to be honest I'm just happy to be eating anything and staying alive. But I don't know how to challenge anorexic thoughts on introducing new 'scary' foods into my life again
You can do it, honestly you just have to jump in and DO IT!! Have you watched the other video I posted this weekend on Q&A? I addressed this question in it, hope it helps xxx
I love this! It inspired me to honor my hunger and go grab the oat and honey Kashi bar from my cupboards that I havent tried yet... I think I might go back and try the chocolate chip one too!
So I have a question. I totally agree about this sneaky type restriction. However, how do you know if an urge to say, plop 5 helpings of peanut butter onto your sandwich isn't actually the start of a sneaky binge? This is coming from someone with binge/purge problems but mostly restricting.
I have to say, for the past 13 years, I have never been able to eat "normally" or "intuitively." I have either been in a refeeding state or a restricting state. I have no hunger or fullness cues and it scares me. How does one resume a normal eating state after having been on and off with their ED for half of their life?
It will come, keep eating regularly and not restricting and your body signals will come back.... They'll probably be all over the place at first, but be patient whilst your body relearns xxx
I am scared of the bodily cues...I worry that I will let go of the reigns a bit and lose control and just keep eating and eating. I will just have to learn to trust my body, I suppose. Thanks for the feedback and for the awesome vlogs!
Megan it's quasi the same for me... I mean.. I have no hunger clues unless I fast for hours.... Instead I have fullness clues just very early after eating.... Idk whether it will always be this way..... 😔
I keep doing this weird thing where when I have to make my breakfast or lunch I hover around the pantry and fridge for like 15 minutes just looking at what is there. I can’t jut decide to eat something and it’s really frustrating. Have you dealt with this? Do you have any suggestions? P.S. your vlogs have been helping me a lot. The topics are always so applicative and it makes me motivated. Thank you!
Camille Lena yes I have. I call it food paralysis. When I struggled with it I planned out my meals completely away from food & meal times & committed to it. So when I got to the fridge I knew exactly what I was having. Then block out any thoughts & ideas. Commit before & stick to it, then get oh the kitchen & carry on with your day. Good luck xx
I really loved what you said, so many truths in one video, it's really a treasure. However, I was wondering, when you used the measuring beaker to pour the milk on your oatmeal, using it wouldn't be some kind of restriction? It looked somehow contradictory because then you mentioned something about doing these things freely and when I personally use these things it makes me feel like I'm controlling the quantities. Maybe I got it wrong but I just wanted to point this out because it confused me.
I get you, but if I didn't measure I wouldn't get the consistency right. I like porridge with double the milk to oat ratio, so it's to check that. I have more sometimes if I am hungry x
Its a long way from restricting and the little marble sized anorexia bubble in which I live to intuitive eating...No hunger at all. Intellectually I know (as an RN) I need to eat but Executing is the problem, I know I have to BELIEVE first but I don't. As an evidenced based person I /my ED tells me until I crash I wont believe it there fore I wont execute. How do you move to eating more....to eventually get to intuitive eating? Meal plans? Then wean off by doing it and repeating it? (Love the PB, but all I allow not is keeping a teaspoon of it in the freezer for quick pick me ups... :)
I love your videos! They have been so helpful to me in my recovery from my second (hopefully last) relapse! Can you PLEASE do a step by step of how you make your tea...what ingredients you use etc.? I am American, so we don't do much tea here, at least not properly haha (coffee is the default) :)
Hahaha of course... Tetley tea bags, a splash of milk, hot water, strain the tea until it goes a nice beige colour and then whip the bag out. My favourite!
Another fab video - I honestly love your YoutTube and Instagram so much, it's been incredibly inspiring and helpful to me lately. Just a question that's been on my mind about set point etc...You say that your ultimate goal is to reach your body's natural set point and get to that point of eating unrestricted to maintain the weight range your body is happiest in...I'm totally with you on that, and I'd love to reach that point too. However, I'm absolutely petrified of being at my set point (even though I know that would be the TRUE 'healthy' for me - not an NHS-prescribed target BMI). I just feel so fat and uncomfortable at my set point. How do you deal with these negative thoughts about getting to that point? Or isn't it something you struggle with? Thanks SO much again for your channel - love it xx
Something I am really struggling with right now being really honest. Trying to value my life and freedom at my set point above my body at the moment. I have been writing pros and cons lists of staying below set point and getting to it, both in the short term and the long term. That has helped. I think I will do a vlog on these "target" (BS) weights x
Megsy Recovery Thank you, and yeah a vlog on set point theory vs setting target weights would be amazing. And maybe also going into body image surrounding how we look/think we look at those weights? X
Can you help me out? My eating disorder commenced because I was stressed out about stomach fat, but I was around 110 pounds. I was healthy. Now I'm below my weight and I'm afraid to gain any back because I'm stressed out about it all going back to my stomach. Is this a normal feeling? I don't know how to explain it. I just want to stop caring about the small amount of stomach fat I had.
The way to stop caring is to gain weight to your body's healthy point and stop restricting.... I know that is the scarriest thing but it's the only way back to some more mental freedom. Are you able to see an ED specialist for some help here?
The other day I weighed myself...which I knew wasn’t a good idea, but I was curious to see where I was at. Weird things is that I’ve lost weight. I feel like I’ve been eating more so I’m not sure how that happened. Then of course my thoughts were split between I’m a failure and yes you lost more weight! Did this ever happen to you?
Camille Lena I get weighed weekly so not really, but as long as you’re fighting & eating well. Numbers are so irrelevant to us really, hope you don’t get too fixated on it 😘
I am not trying to challenge you on any way, but the way you describe it, wouldn't restriction be 'normal' to some extend? If a healthy person ate everything and anything they wanted or craved without limit, they'd get fat/unhealthy, right? Idk, it makes sense to me, but my logic does tend to be a bit crooked sometimes.
I don't know if they WOULD get fat and unhealthy. I just asked Brendan this question and he doesn't think he'd get fat, he says if he started eating McDonald's for every meal he'd get sick of it and he enjoys healthy foods as well. I know what you're saying and I know people "watch their weight", but I don't know if they really do need to. Maybe if they actually just listened to their body it would maintain them at the right weight for their body. Body's don't want to be overweight for their own set point just like they don't want to be underweight for their set point. Also, it definitely doesn't apply in eating disorder recovery!!!
It seems to me, and I maybe wrong, that people who are genuinely fat/obese (not people who just think they are) have disordered eating of another kind - and people who yoyo diet are far more likely to be a bit overweight than those who just eat normally and regularly and don't deny themselves - dieting/ restricting messes up the metabolism. But also we can't compare ourselves to "normal people". We have an eating disorder and they don't - so for example, it may be OK for someone else to watch their weight or go sugar free or dairy free or whatever free - but for us doing that, with our ED minds, is just so dangerous and keeps us stuck in illness.
So it probably all comes down to listening to your body, regardless of your weight. It's still a bit weird to me though, since some people get obese by eating everything they feel like. Maybe your body signals also get messed up by constantly overeating? (Also, I am aware thinking about it this way is disordered.)
Lisanne as someone who is on the different end of this spectrum and wound up weighing 400lbs, restriction is necessary for my health, and likely always will be. My body became so adjusted to eating 5,000+ calories a day and without restriction, my body will happily allow me to eat 5,000+ calories a day, even now at a healthy weight. I am almost always hungry and normal quantities of food generally don’t satisfy me. BUT I overate for 20+ years and from my understanding, she’s referring to the time spent recovering. This probably won’t have the same long term effect (stretched stomach, increased production of hunger hormone) as it would if it was practiced for years on end.
I'm a healthy weight and always have been, on the lower end of a normal bmi for my height and a good body fat percentage. I was very worried when I was in high school because I was underweight until I was about 19, not scarily so but on the edge of healthy to underweight bmi. Went to doctors and things to make sure nothing was wrong, and thankfully nothing was. All doctors ever said at the time was keep eating however you're eating because my vitamin stores were fine and even though I was very slightly underweight at that time my body fat was fine. I was incredibly paranoid about my body in a way different from an anorexic I guess, I thought I was very unfeminine and had no curves, etc. I was just growing, went away obviously and I've been fine with my body since I was 19. So I've never worried about food except to make sure I eat enough to not lose weight. I've never restricted, and just eat what I want. They key is, I know when I'm hungry, I know when I'm full, if I'm craving something I eat it, if I've been very active I get hungrier, if I've been pretty sedentary I get less hungry. I eat a good amount of vegetables because I like them, sometimes I'll crave them if I'd had a few days of eating out and not had enough. I eat a lot of carbs, I eat a lot of fat, I eat a lot of everything and I've never worried about it. I think im normal. I think the problem is too many people have disordered eating. Overweight people have disordered eating. Underweight people have disordered eating. My mother is very overweight and I'm sure it's from being in high level competitive sports. She's ruined her hunger, satiety, and craving cues. It's hard to listen to your body when you've spent so long destroying it. Dieting isn't good for you. Binging isn't good for you. I don't think meal plans or calorie targets are a bad idea for people that can't eat naturally. Most people can't eat normally. I've watched them and people do some weird shit around food that I don't do.
If you're still hungry and thinking about food that is because you're not at a healthy weight for your body. A BMI chart cannot tell us when our body will be happy.... And certainly not by saying "you're at the low end of healthy". Very few people's bodys would be happy here. Mine certainly isn't!
Do you have ideas or tips on communicating these things to a dietician? I am in an area where there is ONE dietician who is “willing” to work with ED patient. She is feeding my horrible thoughts, removed a snack bc I am struggling with it, she’s discussed maintenance, she had praised my progress on the plan (which has been pretty damn restricted and in a rut)... I’m sure I could be doing worse and she’s trying to be encouraging, but I’ve had a weight gain so all of that combined with the gain had been incredibly triggering and in my mind I’m like, “Ok so why do I even need to be here? I’m eating the plainest, most limited foods, no sauce, no cheese, sauce on the side, etc etc” like you said - and I’m gaining, being praised and having snacks removed. 🤯
“THERE IS BEAUTY IN THIS WORLD, THAN CAME ALONG MEG❤️SY” Thankyou for your weekly Teachings, so powerful....WOW your spot on meg! I just want to lick that bowl & dip my brain in a jar of Nourishment & Nutella.. 🙈 All Habits can be changed, one day at a time 🙏🏻 Have a wonderful week, big hug 🤗 your way 😘😘
I haven't but I would personally avoid that. I actively try to surround myself with people who have very healthy attitudes to body and weight, I need to constantly see the life I want to live and be inspired by healthy.... Just me personally. It has helped me a lot having very healthy friends
Another great video. I am stuck with measuring at the moment. If my meal plan says 1/2 cup cottage cheese I get my measuring cups out and measure it out. I would love to just be able to spoon some in a bowl but I haven’t been able to. How do you begin to let go of the control and the rules?
With weight gain I kind of just relaxed a bit naturally, and I didn't care as much. Think about what your scared of and why you need to measure. Is it because you're scared if you go slightly over 1/2 a cup over you'll gain weight? Because you wont. And the only way you'll learn that is to do it. I gradually started challenging this, like if my meal plan said "chocolate bar" I would start choosing a Mars instead of Malteasers, and then I realised actually it is fine. It's scary the first few times but stick with it and it gets easier. And it's worth it to not me a slave to measuring shit out all the time. YAWN! xxx
I'd try breaking it up into smaller steps. Picking one food to start with for example. Just try not to compensate for it, because then you'd be making it even harder for yourself. Good luck!
You have mentioned that in your last relapse you ate a ton of food and was OK with it and this time around you are on a meal plan so what’s different ? I don’t even know if I let go of all restrictions... they are in everything I do and I’m pretty sure that some of them I don’t even notice I think it’s very important to watch other people eat as much as possible bc we forget what’s normal eating is I’m very afraid to eat unrestricted bc I’m gaining rapidly even on a very small changes I have made considering that I’m in my mid range BMI... it’s only fat I’m gaining and in places that I haven’t gained in my previous restorations It’s so hard to deal with
This weight gain wont happen forever, it's happening now because your body needs it. And be patient, it will redistribute and your metabollism will pick up again, and your body will kick back in and start working.... But it needs to be healthy for that. The bodys priority right now is health. Once it's at a good weight it wont need to gain on little food any more. Be patient and kind to yourself, what's happening now wont be forever xxx
And on your other question.... For some reason in recovery this time I haven't been able to trust and let go quite as well. I've needed a more structured and controlled approach. I am finally managing to loosen up on that now and not care as much, but there we go. Recovery is never the same is it, even between relapses. And I just try to focus on the goal and do whatever I need now to get there, even if I recovered "quicker" last time, or could eat more food or whatever. No point worrying about that, it is what it is right now and just got to keep pushing through to get out the other side xxxx
I can eat what I want until I gain weight. The moment I realise I gained weight (or when I got back my period for 2 days) I panick and just jump back to not eating enough. Even though I know it's my ed voice, I just don't want to have that body
"What if calories would not exist"...this is just what I needed!! Brilliant! Thank you very much for your ever so honest vids. You truly keep me motivated through my struggles. Just today I feel so much like restriction because it is so warm and "People" do not need so much food in summer. Keep up and stay strong 💗
That's a classic bit of BS your ED feeds you. Do you think your family and friends should eat less in the summer? We always need food, but ESPECIALLY in recovery you need it! Keep going lovely x
Bulimia tells me that too. Keep challenging those ‘facts’ that your eating disorder tells you!
When I initially clicked on this video I thought: "no way am I gonna relate to this, I'm not anorexic, I've just been dieting for most of my life" (because my body has never ever been underweight, even as a child I was chubbier than everyone else.) But watching it made me realize just how much it has been CONSUMING me to try to stay "just under where my body wants to be." So I really wanna thank you for sharing this as it's super healpful. And I also wanna acknowledge how much more difficult this concept is, for the girls who were never thin enough by society's standard's, even when they were perfectly healthy.
like you mentioned, "diet" culture is so upsetting, and hard to challenge in recovery. I struggle with that myself.
THIS IS EVERYTHING!! Seriously, I wish that everybody - be it someone who struggles with an eating disorder, disordered eating, "chronic dieting," etc. - could hear this and what you have to say because you express SO so many incredible truths. So much of what you speak about regarding the different forms that restriction comes in is something I can relate to, and honestly its a huge wake up call and tough love kind of thing to realize that yea, I can choose to live in my ed bubble and accept it simply because its a bigger bubble than it used to be. But honestly, like you said, I'd rather just have no bubble at all
Yep, any level of restriction or weight below your body's happy place will ALWAYS be an ED bubble. Is it really worth it? Sacrificing your whole freedom just to hold onto a little sneaky restriction here and there x
You are honestly so positive when it comes to your recovery 💖 it’s a great trait to have, Admire you so much for continuing to battle your fears with your wedding coming up! Regardless of what you weigh you’ll still look beautiful 😚
This is an AMAZING video! You just explained from 13:50 till 15:21 my biggest fear. I don’t dare to give in to my cravings because my treatment team and parents don’t think it’s good to eat (my craving: 5 pieces of bread with PB) but I want to and now I’m not allowed so I’m restricting. But how can I ever recover then if I’m restricting!? Watching your videos changed my perspective about how to really recover so much! In a GOOD way! It amazingly helpful! Thank you so much! Can’t wait to see another video :) Keep strong
I hate the concept of a "maintenance diet". It makes me really scared of hitting my "goal weight" because it means that I'll have to restrict again to maintain it. So I completely agree with you, there shouldn't be such thing as a maintenance diet at all!
This thumbnail is gorgeous. Your smile is so beautiful.
I totally agree about target weights - it's so counterproductive! Particularly when you might get discharged at a low "healthy" bmi. It's like 'holy shit, I'm still starving, this isnt my natural weight! If the professionals are saying this weight is okay to maintain at, my normal (higher) weight is "too big". I freak out and imagine everyone else can easily maintain at this low weight...so my disorder is like 'you are greedy, destined to be fat, abnormally hungry etc'. Your take on recovery is SO great for me right now. It's like a big breath of fresh air !!!!.
Wow! Just noticed you hit over 5,000 subscribers! Awesome!!! You deserve it!
Thank you for your videos. You are so relatable and inspire me so much. They are the highlight of my week. 💗💗💗
Megs I watch your vids while I'm eating and they help me so much! It makes my day to see you've uploaded haha. it's so lovely to hear you talk about things like quasi recovery, it really is so easy to choose something like low fat pb and justify it bc it's still peanut butter! You are wise and strong and such an inspiration! Keep fighting lovely!! ♡
it takes literally only a sec until the ED thoughts come in when we start make meals an ear food. we need to react on what our bodies need before that even if its super difficult!! working on weight gain itself is already difficult because we gotta eat more and we gotta challenge ourselves to conquer our fear foods. doing it under restriction regardless how subtle it is makes it harder for us to accept our weight gain and be willing to continue our journey. It will make us physically recover but our fears will remain, and we will end up with freakin' quasi recovery!!!! We will gain weight anyway so why not eat whatever we want focusing on our better future! That is my opinion as a person who experienced quasi recovery for multiple times! Thank you for sharing this Meg!! I love your attitude toward your recovery journey💘
“Everytime you restrict, you’re strengthening the idea that you NEED to do that” yes! Thank you! Would u mind telling me what video editing app you use?
That's video exactly what I needed ! I'm scared to eat " treat foods " because I'm so scared to have to eat an enormous quantity to be satisfied ! Went to a birthday this week and didn't eat the cake because I felt I had to eat the all cake otherwise. Didn't care about the calories but just being fustracted because I can't have it all ... have a nice weekend !
iMia the reason you want to eat all the cake is because you need it all. You won’t want to forever, but if you are wanting it it’s a message from you body!
I appreciate your openness and admire your strength. I never thought about sneaky restriction before, but it makes complete sense. Even though you may be eating, all the rules that you still abide by are, indeed, forms of restriction. I don't know if I will ever be able to fully let go of the restricting behaviors, but bringing this to [our] attention may help set the stage for full-on change!
You can ABSOLUTELY let go of restrictions, you just need to do it!!! Ans that's not saying it will be easy, but it's so so possible. Keep challenging, OPPOSITE ACTIONS
Such a perfect video! Literally I have just woken up and my parents are coming to visit me at college today and are taking me to lunch. I planned on skipping breakfast so I could enjoy my lunch. But I made myself some breakfast and watched your video, because I can enjoy both breakfast and lunch!!! So much love❤️
Breakfast, lunch, desserts, snacks... Enjoy it all! Hope you had a nice lunch with your parents xxxx
I did! I even got carrot cake!! So worth it💜
YES! There is a reason they sweeten PB or add oil-because it is tasty and is way more creamy. I feel like I progress in recovery and then the messages from the “health” media and doctors kick in and I take steps back. I rely on the recovery community and videos like yours to keep my perspective. I find that I’ll “eat and eat” when I’m still restricting certain food groups-as in I’m eating more calories but still not balanced-incorporating all foods shuts off that message that I want more and more. I never thought that would happen. The crazy part of anorexia is I’ll go right back to what I was doing even though I know what I know. You look great in that orange color! That’s a beautiful top!
It's great listening You. I try and try but si hard. Scares me to feel I will never be able to have a normal relatoonship with food. Wish I could talk the way you do. Watching your videos really helps and si kind of therapy for me. Thank You very much 😘😘
I LOVE THIS ONE!!! It is a message I resonate so wildly with. I feel I'm blessed enough to have understood that in order to fully recovery one needs to fully go all in. Because "pseudo recovery" is a thing. Thank you for sharing this.
oh my gosh, that bit about eating for your mental, emotional and SOCIAL health as well as physical was just mind-blowing. i've kinda half-heartedly told myself to 'eat for the soul, it's all yummy points hahaha' but i've never really believed it. seeing the physical as one of four pillars has just changed everything for me. it's the little things that really make me believe that i am actually capable of changing my ingrained thought patterns. 🙏🏻
Excellent! I've had a varying sized bubble for almost 40 years, and I'm darn tired of it. I can honestly say this is the first time I've taken a good hard look at my eating disorder, and am taking positive steps to be free of it. Your videos help so very much; thank you!
Thank you for this video! I think you're amazing! This is the first time I've ever commented on a youtube vid but just wanted to say this was just what I needed to watch today. I started recovery a few weeks ago but had a slip up today when I didn't eat until the afternoon to "make up" for eating nachos with my best friends for dinner last night. Your head can trick you so easily into slipping back into old habits :( Can't wait to have my life back and find that freedom. Thank you for being such an inspiration to us all xx
Krystal Webb keep challenging it, the more you do compensations & restrictions the more you’re strengthening the idea you’ll need to. You don’t need to, but the only way to relearn that is through going against the thoughts in your head telling you to 😘 thanks for the comment!
That was in a long time one of the most eye-opening videos, really touching my raw nerve!! Recovering from ED, I always make myself think that I am recovered..it even seems to others that I am completely like them. But I know deep in my mind that I DO have those sneaky habits..I know if calories didn't exist, how much more I would eat. Damn. I have to break free, somehow, from the fear of weight gain...
So true!! I get soooo confused about which products to buy and use that it takes me forever to shop (choosing between 2 products) and then to prepare my food (choosing between the lower sugar one or saving the high sugar one for when I "deserve" it). Thanks for bringing this to light! I used to deny myself french fries when I was in college. I went a year without having a french fry just to see if I could do it. I used to watch my friends eat their McDonald's while I just sat there eating my "sad meal" as I used to call it because I did poorly on my exams. I gotta break the cycle! Thank you for not letting us use excuses. YOLO!
So happy to have found your channel, Thank you so so much🤗 you've helped me so much more then you think and thank you for such great videos! Hope you are having an amazing day!
Omg this is everything I needed to hear. Thank you so much. As someone who recovers from what healthy in the BMI chart it is super hard for me justifing eating as much and what I want to.
Thank you so much for this! I hit "healthy" bmi two weeks ago but I still feel starving and it scares me but I'm proud to say I've pushed through and kept eating normally 🤗
YESSSS!!!! So glad to hear you're choosing your life xxx
Thanks you for this video! It's given me a lot to think about. It's true only you really know if your restricting or not (most of the time).
I've been trying super hard to stick to my meal plan, but I am still restricting..it's best to be honest with yourself!
You are right it is SO tiring, and I'm sick of sticking to my same restrictive habits. Having freedom in eating sounds pretty good to me!
Much LOVE to you. ❤️
THANK YOU for what you said about PB. I always eat the same kind as you, and I do think it is restrictive when people say that you should go for the one that has as few ingredients as possible. It also sets you up for later dilemmas-- what if the only PB available is the regular kind (which is often the case)? You won't feel comfortable eating it. And then, does this mean you have to eat the healthiest version of everything? The logic is not conducive to freedom, and it's important to at least show yourself, for a long while, that you can eat the more "processed" or whatever you want to call it version and that it's ok. If you really then decide you like the natural PB that separates and tastes like nothing, then go for it. But then it is more likely based on preference, not out of fear.
YEAAASS, highlight of a Saturday, can’t wait to watch. 😍
P.S. Your food is always so aesthetically pleasing - your oat bowls are so pretty! 😀💜
Just woke up for a minute OMG MEG❤️SY is on, saving this for my morning sunshine Beautiful 🙏🏻😊 🇦🇺 nite nite 😘 The joy you bring at the end of our week 🤗😇
🙋🏻♀️😘😘
I actually have been super lucky in my recovery because my doctor knows if I'm restricting or holding back in any way just by looking at my face and attitude. Even if I gained weight, she immediately knows when I'm struggling, kind of amazing ;) thank you for this video, very interesting!!
I really think that this video will hit a lot of people in/attempting recovery with the real truth re; 'recovery and "recovery". In today's diet obsessed world. Not an easy pill to swallow or truth to hear but it is what it is! Thanks for the reminder m xxxx
Did you recognise my "instagram friend's comment"? Oh hiiiiiii!
unashamedly yes! :) its so true though and I think its super important that people speak up about 'recovery' attempts versus recovery attempts (if you know what I mean :D). I don't have the eloquence or grasp of it as a topic that I allows me to talk about it in a clear and concise way so thank you for bringing it up! xx
'if calories didnt exist - what would i eat' I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH THANKKKK YOUUUUU :)
Thank you for being here on this wonderful earth! I’m coming off a restrictive/ortho diet. I don’t think i got too malnourished (but I did loose my period) and I look “normal” but my body now is in EXTREME HUNGER mode! Now that I’m trying to recover and eating different things I’m so frustrated with how much I’m always hungry and I feel like I binge eat when I do eat. I’m so afraid of weight gain/fat gain. Any advice? I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but the only reason I fell into my ED is because I started a diet to lose weight. I lost 50lbs and was so proud!!! But lately the hardest part is staying at my goal weight and not being so dang STARVING all the time.
This is such a relevant video for me right now meg! I always feel like I'm nearly 'recovered' but keep catching myself doing slightly compensatory behaviours or tweaking things in a restrictive way 🙄 anorexia is such a sneaky bugger the way it can disguise itself! Hope you're having a fab weekend! Xxx
Also you're so right about the NHS 'target weights', the target weight my team have set me at age 20 is the exact same as the one they set me when I was 13!! 😂
Wow I just had an "aha moment" where I totally connected some points that are holding me back in my recovery! I have been suffering from anorexia and bulimia for 10 years now and currently managed to get my weight back up to a relatively healthy point, but I am definitely still restricting, cutting our whole food groups, skipping meals, but bingeing and purging A LOT, which caused some of the weight I put back on. So I always thought I can't let go and eat what ever I am craving, because that would fuel binges, but it's actually not true at all. I binge and purge because (well partly, there is other reasons too) I am denying myself to eat what my body is craving. The problem is still to get these things separated, as I couldn't just eat three chocolate bars in a row without losing it and eating more, because "I already screwed up so I better eat some more and purge it then". Stopping the purging is the hardest part for me, but hopefully I will get there one day. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your videos!
Thanks for this video meg! I always look forward to your videos on the weekend, you really are a constant positive push in my recovery. Honestly so grateful that youre so willing to be honest and vulnerable in your vlogs. Love you and hope that you enjoyed your time at the beach!! :)
YAAAASSS!!! Spot on as always! Seriously, your videos help soooo much! Yes, we need to burst our ED bubbles!!!! Pop them away to be free!!! Lots of love as always to you Meg xxx
Boy am I glad I saw this video. I've been subconsciously doing all these sneaky restrictions but been none the wiser that it was still restricting... I don't know if that makes sense but I know what I mean!
Another wonderful vlog that I know will be so useful to get me in the right headspace for IP this week and especially after discharge because it's so many things I do now. Bless you sweetie
This was a really thoughtful and interesting video. Restriction is not the same for everyone. But, it is true to say that we are the only one's to know if we are deceiving ourselves. I don't know why, but one of the other comments on this video made me think about something. Isn't it strange that we want to be able to show our natural selves and embrace our imperfections regarding our bodies and what we look like, to shift the focus away from our aesthetics. Yet, a lot of photos on Instagram reinforce the need to manipulate aesthetics through perfectly presented meals, with the most flattering angles and lighting? xx
SCARLETT PARR-REID yeh, that’s kind of social media generally though isn’t it.... showing everything in its best light 🙈
That's true, but it will be great to see people starting to be their own best, imperfections and all, not society's definition of best xx
I hear you I hear my body and they say the same things I believe you have got it spot on and this is the way to 100% recovery but it takes real focus everyday and repeat repeat well done for your recovery I am on my journey to
The PB thing couldnt have come at a better time. I am such a knob, the ED bloke told me to stick within an amount of calories until I meet my dietician next week, which is a nightmare because I had stopped counting calories and reading labels etc and now I am back to weighing food again as i've been told to! Plus I am SO hungry all of the time and cannot honour that because I've been told to keep under a certain number?! OH but if i lose weight i have to go IP? It seems so backwards to me. SO, I weighed out the amount of PB that id been using for over night oats to calculate the calories and it was so much more than i expected, and now the anorexia is being an absolute bitch.
As its 'over the amount I'm supposed to have'- according to the ED bloke AND the anorexia, I feel like I should chuck the oats and re do it. BUT, I feel like for RECOVERY, I should eat it in the morning and see that nothing terrible is going to happen?! But then next time do I put loads less in? Its all very backwards.
Im so stuck with what to do, please help :(((( Xx
alyshalauren oh my god, so relatable. Fuck what anyone else says though or the thoughts in your head. If you listen to that shit you’ll stay trapped in the same cycles & anxiety & rules that you’re in now. The only way out is to go against all of it... the counting, weighing, this bloke, the AN. You need shit tons of PB to honour your cravings & hunger & fight these stupid bull shit rules. Keep going lovely 😘😘😘
This video hit me very hard bc I was eating the rest of an ice cream pint I had left but I worked out before hand to enjoy it and I haven't worked out in an eternity made me kinda sad to be honest like why can't I just fight this ed for real.. it seems so hard.. :(
Just learn from it. Compensation is a restriction, and one if you think you need to do it and so do it, then you'll always have to do it. It's only when we challenge these things that we realise they're actually a load of shit haha. Good luck x
Megsy Recovery thanks for answering!! That's exactly the thing bc last time I did it. I felt like I needed to do it again but I'm gonna fight harder!!
I can’t believe how long I was in denial about how much I was restricting. Now I can see it so clearly as I look back. But boy some sneaky restrictions still come up... then opposite action
I've always wanted to try indian food but had been to scared to eat it. Yesterday, my co-worker surprised me and made an indian dish for me. Instead of being grateful that she would do that for me, my first reaction was to panic over the fact that I had no idea what ingredients was in it. I felt horrible that I couldn't be grateful about it. It was such a sweet gesture and all I could think about was coming up with an excuse not to eat it.
Okay..but if i ate whatever i want i will be obese ..and that is unhealthy
Or maybe i want to eat 3 bars of chocolate and that is so unhealthy
What i mean here is that i will have diabetes if i ate whatever i want
Give me advice please
I don't think you would, because your body wont want 3 chocolate bars in a row always. When I tried to honour my cravings last time in recovery I went through a period of eating 3 chocolate bars in a row, and then when my body got to a healthy weight for itself it just stopped craving it. I genuinely no longer wanted 3 chocolate bars in a row. It would have made me feel sick. We only crave that much food in recovery because we've been denying it for so long and we need it x
Love love love your channel xox. Can you make a post with all of your clever analogies?! Maybe on instagram or just in the description of a video or something... I've heard so many genius analogies from you and sometimes I forget which videos you said them in or I forget to write them down so I'd love to just have them all!
You see, right now in my recovery I'm only eating safe foods that are a normal amount of calories. But I'm not challenging myself to eat anything else. It's so hard because I don't know how to challenge this fear. But to be honest I'm just happy to be eating anything and staying alive. But I don't know how to challenge anorexic thoughts on introducing new 'scary' foods into my life again
You can do it, honestly you just have to jump in and DO IT!! Have you watched the other video I posted this weekend on Q&A? I addressed this question in it, hope it helps xxx
I love this! It inspired me to honor my hunger and go grab the oat and honey Kashi bar from my cupboards that I havent tried yet... I think I might go back and try the chocolate chip one too!
So I have a question. I totally agree about this sneaky type restriction. However, how do you know if an urge to say, plop 5 helpings of peanut butter onto your sandwich isn't actually the start of a sneaky binge? This is coming from someone with binge/purge problems but mostly restricting.
I look forward to your videos sooooooo much - and this one was awesome!x x x
this video is everything.
I have to say, for the past 13 years, I have never been able to eat "normally" or "intuitively." I have either been in a refeeding state or a restricting state. I have no hunger or fullness cues and it scares me. How does one resume a normal eating state after having been on and off with their ED for half of their life?
It will come, keep eating regularly and not restricting and your body signals will come back.... They'll probably be all over the place at first, but be patient whilst your body relearns xxx
I am scared of the bodily cues...I worry that I will let go of the reigns a bit and lose control and just keep eating and eating. I will just have to learn to trust my body, I suppose. Thanks for the feedback and for the awesome vlogs!
Megan it's quasi the same for me... I mean.. I have no hunger clues unless I fast for hours.... Instead I have fullness clues just very early after eating.... Idk whether it will always be this way..... 😔
Thank you, this was very relevant and helpful for me atm. X
Jif is totally the best!!!!
I keep doing this weird thing where when I have to make my breakfast or lunch I hover around the pantry and fridge for like 15 minutes just looking at what is there. I can’t jut decide to eat something and it’s really frustrating. Have you dealt with this? Do you have any suggestions?
P.S. your vlogs have been helping me a lot. The topics are always so applicative and it makes me motivated. Thank you!
Camille Lena yes I have. I call it food paralysis. When I struggled with it I planned out my meals completely away from food & meal times & committed to it. So when I got to the fridge I knew exactly what I was having. Then block out any thoughts & ideas. Commit before & stick to it, then get oh the kitchen & carry on with your day. Good luck xx
Thank you! That's a good idea. :)
I really loved what you said, so many truths in one video, it's really a treasure. However, I was wondering, when you used the measuring beaker to pour the milk on your oatmeal, using it wouldn't be some kind of restriction? It looked somehow contradictory because then you mentioned something about doing these things freely and when I personally use these things it makes me feel like I'm controlling the quantities. Maybe I got it wrong but I just wanted to point this out because it confused me.
I get you, but if I didn't measure I wouldn't get the consistency right. I like porridge with double the milk to oat ratio, so it's to check that. I have more sometimes if I am hungry x
Its a long way from restricting and the little marble sized anorexia bubble in which I live to intuitive eating...No hunger at all. Intellectually I know (as an RN) I need to eat but Executing is the problem, I know I have to BELIEVE first but I don't. As an evidenced based person I /my ED tells me until I crash I wont believe it there fore I wont execute. How do you move to eating more....to eventually get to intuitive eating? Meal plans? Then wean off by doing it and repeating it? (Love the PB, but all I allow not is keeping a teaspoon of it in the freezer for quick pick me ups... :)
I love your videos! They have been so helpful to me in my recovery from my second (hopefully last) relapse! Can you PLEASE do a step by step of how you make your tea...what ingredients you use etc.? I am American, so we don't do much tea here, at least not properly haha (coffee is the default) :)
Hahaha of course... Tetley tea bags, a splash of milk, hot water, strain the tea until it goes a nice beige colour and then whip the bag out. My favourite!
Another fab video - I honestly love your YoutTube and Instagram so much, it's been incredibly inspiring and helpful to me lately. Just a question that's been on my mind about set point etc...You say that your ultimate goal is to reach your body's natural set point and get to that point of eating unrestricted to maintain the weight range your body is happiest in...I'm totally with you on that, and I'd love to reach that point too. However, I'm absolutely petrified of being at my set point (even though I know that would be the TRUE 'healthy' for me - not an NHS-prescribed target BMI). I just feel so fat and uncomfortable at my set point. How do you deal with these negative thoughts about getting to that point? Or isn't it something you struggle with? Thanks SO much again for your channel - love it xx
Something I am really struggling with right now being really honest. Trying to value my life and freedom at my set point above my body at the moment. I have been writing pros and cons lists of staying below set point and getting to it, both in the short term and the long term. That has helped. I think I will do a vlog on these "target" (BS) weights x
Megsy Recovery Thank you, and yeah a vlog on set point theory vs setting target weights would be amazing. And maybe also going into body image surrounding how we look/think we look at those weights? X
Can you help me out?
My eating disorder commenced because I was stressed out about stomach fat, but I was around 110 pounds. I was healthy. Now I'm below my weight and I'm afraid to gain any back because I'm stressed out about it all going back to my stomach. Is this a normal feeling? I don't know how to explain it. I just want to stop caring about the small amount of stomach fat I had.
The way to stop caring is to gain weight to your body's healthy point and stop restricting.... I know that is the scarriest thing but it's the only way back to some more mental freedom. Are you able to see an ED specialist for some help here?
The other day I weighed myself...which I knew wasn’t a good idea, but I was curious to see where I was at. Weird things is that I’ve lost weight. I feel like I’ve been eating more so I’m not sure how that happened. Then of course my thoughts were split between I’m a failure and yes you lost more weight! Did this ever happen to you?
Camille Lena I get weighed weekly so not really, but as long as you’re fighting & eating well. Numbers are so irrelevant to us really, hope you don’t get too fixated on it 😘
I am not trying to challenge you on any way, but the way you describe it, wouldn't restriction be 'normal' to some extend? If a healthy person ate everything and anything they wanted or craved without limit, they'd get fat/unhealthy, right? Idk, it makes sense to me, but my logic does tend to be a bit crooked sometimes.
I don't know if they WOULD get fat and unhealthy. I just asked Brendan this question and he doesn't think he'd get fat, he says if he started eating McDonald's for every meal he'd get sick of it and he enjoys healthy foods as well. I know what you're saying and I know people "watch their weight", but I don't know if they really do need to. Maybe if they actually just listened to their body it would maintain them at the right weight for their body. Body's don't want to be overweight for their own set point just like they don't want to be underweight for their set point. Also, it definitely doesn't apply in eating disorder recovery!!!
It seems to me, and I maybe wrong, that people who are genuinely fat/obese (not people who just think they are) have disordered eating of another kind - and people who yoyo diet are far more likely to be a bit overweight than those who just eat normally and regularly and don't deny themselves - dieting/ restricting messes up the metabolism. But also we can't compare ourselves to "normal people". We have an eating disorder and they don't - so for example, it may be OK for someone else to watch their weight or go sugar free or dairy free or whatever free - but for us doing that, with our ED minds, is just so dangerous and keeps us stuck in illness.
So it probably all comes down to listening to your body, regardless of your weight. It's still a bit weird to me though, since some people get obese by eating everything they feel like. Maybe your body signals also get messed up by constantly overeating? (Also, I am aware thinking about it this way is disordered.)
Lisanne as someone who is on the different end of this spectrum and wound up weighing 400lbs, restriction is necessary for my health, and likely always will be. My body became so adjusted to eating 5,000+ calories a day and without restriction, my body will happily allow me to eat 5,000+ calories a day, even now at a healthy weight. I am almost always hungry and normal quantities of food generally don’t satisfy me. BUT I overate for 20+ years and from my understanding, she’s referring to the time spent recovering. This probably won’t have the same long term effect (stretched stomach, increased production of hunger hormone) as it would if it was practiced for years on end.
I'm a healthy weight and always have been, on the lower end of a normal bmi for my height and a good body fat percentage. I was very worried when I was in high school because I was underweight until I was about 19, not scarily so but on the edge of healthy to underweight bmi. Went to doctors and things to make sure nothing was wrong, and thankfully nothing was. All doctors ever said at the time was keep eating however you're eating because my vitamin stores were fine and even though I was very slightly underweight at that time my body fat was fine. I was incredibly paranoid about my body in a way different from an anorexic I guess, I thought I was very unfeminine and had no curves, etc. I was just growing, went away obviously and I've been fine with my body since I was 19.
So I've never worried about food except to make sure I eat enough to not lose weight. I've never restricted, and just eat what I want. They key is, I know when I'm hungry, I know when I'm full, if I'm craving something I eat it, if I've been very active I get hungrier, if I've been pretty sedentary I get less hungry. I eat a good amount of vegetables because I like them, sometimes I'll crave them if I'd had a few days of eating out and not had enough. I eat a lot of carbs, I eat a lot of fat, I eat a lot of everything and I've never worried about it. I think im normal.
I think the problem is too many people have disordered eating. Overweight people have disordered eating. Underweight people have disordered eating. My mother is very overweight and I'm sure it's from being in high level competitive sports. She's ruined her hunger, satiety, and craving cues. It's hard to listen to your body when you've spent so long destroying it. Dieting isn't good for you. Binging isn't good for you. I don't think meal plans or calorie targets are a bad idea for people that can't eat naturally. Most people can't eat normally. I've watched them and people do some weird shit around food that I don't do.
Totally having this battle, starving all the time!😰 but reached 'healthy ' weight category today so struggling this week.
If you're still hungry and thinking about food that is because you're not at a healthy weight for your body. A BMI chart cannot tell us when our body will be happy.... And certainly not by saying "you're at the low end of healthy". Very few people's bodys would be happy here. Mine certainly isn't!
Love ❤️ you Meg!!
Do you have ideas or tips on communicating these things to a dietician? I am in an area where there is ONE dietician who is “willing” to work with ED patient. She is feeding my horrible thoughts, removed a snack bc I am struggling with it, she’s discussed maintenance, she had praised my progress on the plan (which has been pretty damn restricted and in a rut)... I’m sure I could be doing worse and she’s trying to be encouraging, but I’ve had a weight gain so all of that combined with the gain had been incredibly triggering and in my mind I’m like, “Ok so why do I even need to be here? I’m eating the plainest, most limited foods, no sauce, no cheese, sauce on the side, etc etc” like you said - and I’m gaining, being praised and having snacks removed. 🤯
This helped me so much!!! 💗💗💗
Eating my pb and watching this😂😂always love your chats..thanx for motivating me😊😊😊
How do/did you deal with wanting food/hungry but not knowing what you want or do but it''s not readily available?
“THERE IS BEAUTY IN THIS WORLD, THAN CAME ALONG MEG❤️SY” Thankyou for your weekly Teachings, so powerful....WOW your spot on meg! I just want to lick that bowl & dip my brain in a jar of Nourishment & Nutella.. 🙈 All Habits can be changed, one day at a time 🙏🏻 Have a wonderful week, big hug 🤗 your way 😘😘
But you can't keep eating "recovery" meals forever !
Not sure if you've already answered this but what are your thoughts on making/having friends who also have eating disorders? xx
I haven't but I would personally avoid that. I actively try to surround myself with people who have very healthy attitudes to body and weight, I need to constantly see the life I want to live and be inspired by healthy.... Just me personally. It has helped me a lot having very healthy friends
Another great video. I am stuck with measuring at the moment. If my meal plan says 1/2 cup cottage cheese I get my measuring cups out and measure it out. I would love to just be able to spoon some in a bowl but I haven’t been able to. How do you begin to let go of the control and the rules?
With weight gain I kind of just relaxed a bit naturally, and I didn't care as much. Think about what your scared of and why you need to measure. Is it because you're scared if you go slightly over 1/2 a cup over you'll gain weight? Because you wont. And the only way you'll learn that is to do it. I gradually started challenging this, like if my meal plan said "chocolate bar" I would start choosing a Mars instead of Malteasers, and then I realised actually it is fine. It's scary the first few times but stick with it and it gets easier. And it's worth it to not me a slave to measuring shit out all the time. YAWN! xxx
I'd try breaking it up into smaller steps. Picking one food to start with for example. Just try not to compensate for it, because then you'd be making it even harder for yourself. Good luck!
Really very helpful so thank you so much 😍
Do you live in dubai? I live there and saw the milk cartons looked the same
Mia Barriskill I’ve wondered where she lives because it always looks SO beautiful outside!!
You have mentioned that in your last relapse you ate a ton of food and was OK with it and this time around you are on a meal plan so what’s different ?
I don’t even know if I let go of all restrictions... they are in everything I do and I’m pretty sure that some of them I don’t even notice
I think it’s very important to watch other people eat as much as possible bc we forget what’s normal eating is
I’m very afraid to eat unrestricted bc I’m gaining rapidly even on a very small changes I have made considering that I’m in my mid range BMI... it’s only fat I’m gaining and in places that I haven’t gained in my previous restorations
It’s so hard to deal with
This weight gain wont happen forever, it's happening now because your body needs it. And be patient, it will redistribute and your metabollism will pick up again, and your body will kick back in and start working.... But it needs to be healthy for that. The bodys priority right now is health. Once it's at a good weight it wont need to gain on little food any more. Be patient and kind to yourself, what's happening now wont be forever xxx
And on your other question.... For some reason in recovery this time I haven't been able to trust and let go quite as well. I've needed a more structured and controlled approach. I am finally managing to loosen up on that now and not care as much, but there we go. Recovery is never the same is it, even between relapses. And I just try to focus on the goal and do whatever I need now to get there, even if I recovered "quicker" last time, or could eat more food or whatever. No point worrying about that, it is what it is right now and just got to keep pushing through to get out the other side xxxx
hi sorry, can i know where did you get those bracelets? they're so cute
classic butterscotch Tiffany
what do u you use to recording your vlogs and program to edit ?
Karolina Gorkiewicz iphoneX & imovie
How many calories do you try to hit each day? Do you follow minnie maud guidelines?
I don't track calories I'm afraid, so no idea. I used to be in calorie counting hell and I HATED it, so I handed it over to a dietician
If I could give 10 like to your videos, I would do it 💜🙏☺️ Thank you beautiful soul xx
Do you still have 3 snacks a day?xx
yep!
It really doesn’t get much better than Jif!!!!! Those low sugar no salt added ones don’t even come close!!!!
Meg.... Where do u live?? 🤔 🤔
Are you weight restored?
Not for my body's set point, no.
You look like my gym teacher
Hi Beautiful!! You really inspire me do you have a Facebook?
I can eat what I want until I gain weight. The moment I realise I gained weight (or when I got back my period for 2 days) I panick and just jump back to not eating enough. Even though I know it's my ed voice, I just don't want to have that body
Have you watched my video on Yo-Yo? I cover this exact thing, it's so tough, but you have to break the cycle and push through after weight gain
BTW... nice dress!