I love when rslash tries not to use his entitled person’s voice before deciding if the person is a butthole or not but there are just somethings that are so entitled that he can’t stop himself.
The Moolly story pissed me off. I’m glad Molly got revenge on that school and I hope she went absolutely zero contact with all the classmates that sided with the school.
Exactly, they basically jump her and belittled her, but that's ok, peaches and goddamn cream, but when she points out their mistake *all hell breaks loose* the patience though, if a teacher called me that because the teacher failed miserably to do her damn job (as being a teacher isnt necessarily JUST teaching) I would have gotten suspended longer or even expelled...shes not the A.H shes the *victim*
When I was put into a "prestigious" school in the early 1950's, my teacher hated me because of my different religion coming from a school where I was running top of the class in EVERY subject - I dropped to a below 40% in every subject - and that bitch of a teacher set every one of the other children against me - most physically attacking me - EXCEPT for 2 weeks after I badly sprained my ankle and was on crutches for 2 weeks. On the first day back at school, the lead bully came after me and tried to bash me - but I had had enough and after he had hit me - I changed ends of one of my crutches and laid him out unconscious - while he was taken to the hospital to get 12 stitches to close the wound on/in his head. I was sent to the headmasters office and got 12 of "the best" across the arse which I though was a fair exchange. The good thing about that was that NOT one of the "brave boys" approached me after that until the end of the year, when that deranged ignorant and bigoted teacher "arranged" to have me detained after the class on the very last day while several of the so called brave boys waited for me to come out - so I came out swinging my very heavy school case which in those days was a heavy leather "Gladstone Bag" and IT WAS HEAVY! Three of them went down with some heavy bleeding - but as there were a few more waiting, they were a bit hesitant so I decided that the best course of action was to cut and run to fight another day when the odd were a bit closer. In one way I suppose she did me a big favour - and it taught me to fight against the odds in my early days of my life - but on the very top of my bucket of things to do before I drop off this planet is to find out where she is buried - because I really find the need to piss on her grave before I go.
You don't need to date your Ex's siblings. Like was Pat trying to get back at his Ex by dating her sister? It makes no logical sense to me. Just because she cheated on him doesn't mean she didn't love him or that she was solely in the wrong for their entire relationship. It doesn't mean that it wouldn't hurt for that person to join your family. I swear people in the comments act like everyone is either a hero or a villain. There is no nuance.
@@Ayaforshort that's exactly what it means if you love someone you would be faithful instead of fucking other guys or girls knowing how much it will hurt your partner there's no excuses for this it's just as white and black as it seems and your argument is bad
I don’t find the father in the single mother story to be the butthole, his daughter Liz needed a wake up call and that’s exactly what the father did. She she own up-to her actions instead of throwing tantrums.
I'm gonna say you're definitely wrong about the story with Liz and Ash. That girl cheated. She has no right to be upset that her ex moved on or that the person he moved on to is her sister. You can't compare everyone else's sibling relationships to your own because their relationship is most likely very different. Ash doesn't owe her sister anything. If she's happy with that man then that's perfectly fine. As for Liz's struggles as a single mother, it was a little insensitive for op to respond the way he did but if she needed a break that bad, she could have hired a babysitter instead of demanding free child care from her parents. To me, op gets 0.5/5 and Liz gets 3/5. Don't complain about your own shitty actions having equally shitty consequences.
But that's literally what we do on that reddit. We judge others based on what WE find morally wrong or correct, even if our lives are vastly different. Who cares if RSlash's relationship with his brother is different to the one between Ash and Liz? By this logic, we should all just stfu and not give our opinions on the stories that get posted, since, you know, we all live different lives and have different outlooks and opinions and morals etc...
@@Meg_88 yeah right, if the sisters hated each other to the point that family did not matter, Ash can date Pat for all i care. Just because two people have the same dna that does not mean they will be bbf. Dont be a entitled mother with the "FaaAAAamiiily" bs
Edit: i messed up the names, fug. I think it should be understandable now It was the womans fault that she cheated, and Pat broke up with her as a consequence of her actions. Why would her sister be the butthole, or Pat? If they like each other, should they not date if they want to? Why do her sisters mistakes ruin her relationships? Whelp, confirmed, Rslash is the butthole here, especially for not giving us anything puppy related
Liz Cheated on Pat, and Ash happened to fall in love with Pat. I guess if Pat fucked over Liz and Pat went with Ash after I'd agree but Pat is the real Victim. Rslash is totally ass backwards on this. Sometimes you are the person who ruins your own life. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@Aalee11 if it was Pat that cheated, everyone would be hating him and wishing death upon him, but when the sister does it, somehow it’s ok because she’s going through “Dark Times” and is a single mother which is probably the kids of the guy she cheated with, and gets 0/5 buttholes, that’s just wrong
The Liz story: I completely disagree with you rslash. Ash has a right to date Pat. If Liz is so hurt about that, maybe she shouldn't have cheated. OP: 0.5/5 Liz: 3/5 Ash and Pat: 0/5
still doesn't change the fact that keeping it in the family is gross. like fucking gross. I also can't help but feel Pat might be stringing Ashe along for the long con just to further fuck them up. some guys are crazy petty. .-.
I kinda agreed and disagreed with aspects of what he said. Like obviously she's going through something and needs some type of support cause I think everyone needs someone to lean on at some point in there life but yeah having your sister date your ex sucks but it's completely valid if they were already broke up.
Agree Ash and Pat didn't do anything wrong, Pat didn't leave Liz to date Ash, thye just met and started dating and unlike Liz, Ash didn't cheat on Pat and get pregnant after saying "yes" to engagement, that was the worst part Liz cheat on Pat after she said yes, if we are going to be honest here Pat dodge the bullet in relation to Liz, as for the OP I'm going to give 0/5,what he said was harsh but it need to be said.
The bullying story breaks my heart. So its ok to ruin that person's life in school, but not ok when the truth comes out? People think mob mentality protects them because of the numbers. I am so glad OP exposed them. We have to do better and be kind to each other .
It hurt me because my 10th grade was a living hell because all of my bullies WERE my teachers. Literally none of my fellow students gave me any problems, it was the teachers that tormented me. They singled me out with specific rules, made arbitrary rules specifically for me to follow, teachers that were sexist, got me in trouble for things that never happened, and I even had one teacher that would tinker with my grades just to get me in trouble. So yeah, stories like this make me gravely angry, why do teachers not understand that their job, even before teaching, is keeping the students safe?
“She has two kids as a single parent.” Okay, so kid one was from her affair, but now there’s two. So either she repeated step one, got another great guy, cheated, and got pregnant during the affair, or more likely, continued to date shitty guys (affair partner being shitty guy #1, not Pat) and eventually got knocked up either by “accident” or, again, more likely, because she doesn’t seem to be very careful when it comes to sex. I haven’t finished the story as I did a record scratch at “two kids”, but I don’t have any pity for her as of yet. 🤷🏻♀️
The cheating story is stupid, liz cheated and ash started liking pat. If u like something and throw it away it’s your fault if someone else takes it. No one can’ say it’s disrespectful to the family when pat and ash could be soulmates.
I agree with this 100%, Liz fucked up and now has to face the consequences. Her father is right to tell her that, she needs to face her decisions that SHE chose. She can’t expect anyone else but her to fix the issues, complaining about them to your parents won’t do anything and is childish on Liz’s part.
It doesn't matter how it ended. Dating your siblings or even close friends ex is just awfully disrespectfull. At least ask them if its ok for them before getting involved in something.
@@tohma2829 , That's because he has his biases... he has a great relationship with his brother... therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him or would cause conflicts between them... like dating a person his brother cheated on... Keep this in mind, RSlash judges sibling dynamics from his personal experience without investing the emotional maturity to look at other dynamics. It's clear that the two sisters weren't really close... and the other sister, after a few years found Pat and started to date. She knew this could cause problems for her sister... and decided that since Pat is such a great guy, he was worth the trouble between her and her sister. In the end, the sister who cheated needs to move on from Pat... and stop holding his decisions against him when it was her fault for how their relationship ended up. She should be happy that such a nice man found a woman who would respect him. Except, that might be her problem... realizing how bad of a person she was to him, which conflicts with her self-identity (self-image)... she needs some emotional help and a few visits to the head shrinker.
Story 4 opinion: While you may have a close relationship with your brother, which is a wonderful thing, not everyone is close with their family. Not the A-hole, except Liz. She cheated and got herself in her mess, OP is totally correct. As for Ash, she deserves to date who she wants, just because Pat is an ex of Liz, that doesn't make him off limits. That's the equivalent of licking a brownie so no other kid wants it.
i’m so glad to see that there’s at least one person in this comment section that agrees with me, OP and ash and pat are not buttholes at all Liz decided she wanted to cheat on her boyfriend and got hit with karma and since she threw pat away he found a better girl and it happened to be her sister
Thank you, I am thinking, i have 3 younger sisters, if I through out an ex, why would I be mad at my sisters for dating him, when I clearly left him or vice versa. It's just life.
When my old elementary school announced on their Facebook page that the building was going to be torn down to build a new one, everyone spoke about the fond memories they had going there and a lot of former teachers said how much they loved their students. I on the other hand said good riddance to that school. It brought nothing but 6 grueling years of malicious bullying from the same girl who would spout racial slurs at my face because I was Mexican. She even laughed when word got out that my grandpa passed away and said to me, in FRONT of my teacher that he must have been glad that he died because it meant that he got away from me because I was so ugly. My mom complained numerous times about her but every time the teachers would do something she would start crying that the teachers were going after her because she was black and that always and I mean ALWAYS made them back off. The bullying stopped when I went to junior high. After I brought that up, a lot of people said that it was in the past and that I should move on but I pointed out that everyone brought up 'lovely' memories of that damn school so why can't I bring up my memories? So Molly has every single right to bring up the school's dirty laundry.
I'm really sorry for what you went through at that school because that girl and the teachers' fear of being accused of being racists. Good for you for standing your ground on that.
it was so frustrating when she literally chose every single aspect of her life job, schooling, going through with not 1 but 2 kids while single, cheating, like she needs to grow tf up. sure the dad could've been nicer but the sister and pat did literally nothing wrong lmfao
I so agree. I take the father's side on this. She needed a slap of realty so hard that it woke her up. Stop whining and complaining and start doing something about it.
The story of Liz in a nutshell. "I sacrificed everything and the gamble didn't worked, so now my parents and sisters have to do what I say 'cause it's hard to live with consequences". Also rslash, dude, I you wouldn't date you bro ex's I doesn't mean anything. And Liz cheated, she doesn't deserve nothing but what she got.
It has been proven that parking your kid in front of a screen physically alters their brain in such a way that it's harder to retain information. What the mom is doing is essentially child abuse. Doctors scanned many thousands and found distinct physical differences in the brain between those who used screens for hours on end as very young and those who were older. In short, the conclusion is, don't let your kid use screens several hours a day till they're at least 8-10 years old.
But that would make Karen responsible for looking after her own child and having to come up with something for the kid to do. Maybe she much rather spends her time browsing the social media on her own phone. I feel a bit sad for the kid.
@@AtotehZ I'd believe it. I have two kids (ages 11 and 7) and we have to limit their screen time otherwise it can really effect their personalities and work.
@@JurassicKM Yeah I have noticed that when my younger brother is told to get off after too much screen time. He is pissy and nasty the rest of the day. He's 18 but has acted this way for years.
That last story: Mom is clearly one of those parents who doesn't discipline. He doesn't "need" the tablet. You're just used to it shutting him up so you give it to him whenever he wants it.
No 3-year-old* should be that dependent on a tablet. I’d almost argue that no 3-year-old should even have a tablet, but I try not to be too harsh about parenting choices since I realize that parenting’s not that simple. * - Maybe there are some conditions that might warrant it (I’m not a psychologist so I don’t know), but certainly not any neurotypical 3-year-old.
That last story was so NTA that I'm surprised the husband decided to get accusatory over it. The Karen Mom was pushing for a reaction; not OP's fault she didn't like the one she got.
Yeah this mom would definitely cause a scene if that tablet broke while the kid is in daycare and sue for damages. No way I'd hold that responsibility.
That's what made me think that OP wasn't being too strict. If the chance of it being broken comes with a hefty price tag rate than just tears than that's a stay at home toy.
For the story with Molly, I will say this Pain is something you never forget, nor misremember The interviewer desired an honest story, and by extension so did the school, and they got one I’m so sorry you endured such agonizing pain during your earlier academic years, God bless your soul for being strong enough to surpass your grief and become a better person because of it.
I had a teacher say something really mean to me when I was young. It was something I was already embarrassed about, so it stung deeply and still does. If it had been my child I'd have ruined her.
@@JamesDoe67 I’d say 50-60% as a wild estimate. Thing is, I don’t know US happenings well enough to understand how severe these events are, but I do understand that one school shooting alone is a problem. Like- I know life can be a bitch sometimes, but how jaded can you be that the loss of adolescent and adult lives in the possible hundreds to thousands by the hands of mentally unwell students just doesn’t affect or bother you?
The school story: If the teachers have the audacity to bully a student like Molly, then what prevents them from doing it to other students. The truth was a warning for the parents.
Bet 50 bucks in that second story, if it was the OP who was grieving and depressed, everyone would tell him to "man up" and "deal with it" while supporting his wife going out to party. But because it was the wife, the woman, OP is automatically the bad guy
The sister dating her sister's ex: sorry, rslash, you're completely wrong on this one. Liz made her own bed, and now she gets to lie in it. This includes being reminded of why she's in the current position she's in when she attempts to shift blame/responsibility on to others. As far as the sister dating the ex, not the ideal scenario, but wouldn't have happened if the older sister hadn't cheated.
Keep this in mind, RSlash judges sibling dynamics from his personal experience without investing the emotional maturity to look at other dynamics. He has a great relationship with his brother... therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him or would cause conflicts between them... like dating a person his brother cheated on... It's clear that the two sisters weren't really close... and the other sister, after a few years found Pat and started to date. She knew this could cause problems for her sister... and decided that since Pat is such a great guy, he was worth the trouble between her and her sister. In the end, the sister who cheated needs to move on from Pat... and stop holding his decisions against him when it was her fault for how their relationship ended up. She should be happy that such a nice man found a woman who would respect him. Except, that might be her problem... realizing how bad of a person she was to him, which conflicts with her self-identity (self-image)... she needs some emotional help and a few visits to the head shrinker.
I dont really agree with your rating on ash, pat, Liz. Honestly Liz isn't the the ahole but this a consequence to her cheating. If pat and Ash really love each other it dosent make them aholes. Frankly Liz needs to grow up and accept what she did. Liz is trying to stop her sister from being happy because she screwed up.
I hate this idea of "Oh you can't date my ex". I get why it's said but in the end - why not? It's not like HE ruined HER life, she ruined her own life. her sister doesn't have to follow some moral compass some people have :/
On the single mom one I think ash is not the “but hole” I think she isn’t because she genuinely likes pat yes the other girl cheated and then she uses the single mom thing that just isn’t right
There's also so much missing from the story to make the conclusion that Ash was the a-hole. She may have tried to fight her feelings in respect of her sister, but love is love.
I 100% agree with you. I read this one a few days ago and my opinion hasn’t changed. Not only did Liz cheat, but she got pregnant and by how it sounds, she kept it!
Definitely Ash and pat deserve 0 buttholes, they've done absolutely nothing wrong and it doesn't matter that he's the sisters ex, that was years ago and why shouldn't they be happy together. The past relationship has nothing to do with it and the sister has no right to throw a fit because she chose to cheat on a decent guy and got pregnant, of course she lost him, she doesn't deserve him.. But you know who does? The sister who actually cares about the guy
I take issue with the second story and people's reactions to it. Having help take care of someone before who had suffered with depression for years, I get the point of it being draining. The Husband in there wasn't just taking care of a 15yo who could take care of herself, He was doing everything alongside effectively losing his wife. His wife both emotionally and physically changed. once he got affection from her, now she’s a "zombie". Before he saw someone, who took care of themself to now seeing someone who physically doesn’t care about anything. Its not about the wife not wearing makeup - its about her being a completely different person. He’s not just cooking, he’s cleaning, paying bills, taking care of the family. Yes, the daughter is 15yo - That doesn’t mean you can just stop taking care of them and let them fend for themselves, especially when the child has to watch their own mother go through such drastic changes. Look at this from his perspective. He’s trying to be a good father, his own wife is a completely different person, and he is being completely ignored. And if you think the wife will get better, she won’t, not for a while. Now that his MIL has passed, the wife in this situation will get worse. She was in a depression state before she lost her own mother, and with her feeling betrayed by her husband she will feel even more alone. The wife needs professional help. People today like to cry that mental health is important but calling someone an asshole who is sacrificing their own mental health for their family is hypocritical. To the people who say, suck it up your wife is going through tough times - I call BS. That’s like telling those who are depressed themselves, suck up - it’s not that bad. Yes, He could have handled the situation better, he left to celebrate his birthday. His situation sucked. but at some point, you have to take care of yourself. and given that this all happened during Covid times? These are already some stressful times.
I was looking for a comment like this! I totally agree, the way he wrote the story, he sounds like a loving husband who had been taking care of his entire family and got nothing in return. Not even a birthday (and, mind you, birthdays are very important) yet hes an asshole when he wants to do something for himself?
People want to not see that caregiver fatigue is a thing. This is what usually leads that old happy married couple that's been together for 60 years to try and kill each other.
I'd agree with you if the husband didn't whine and complain the whole time about his wife and situation instead of genuinely trying to show her compassion. He didn't communicate what he wanted properly and made the situation about himself when it's not about him. He didn't once say how he was concerned for his wife's emotional state, just how she was changing, which is difficult to watch. But not once did this guy actually bother to mention his wife's feelings and needs, only his. He is TA and could have taken care of himself without having to leave.
Sorry but no, his wife’s mother was actively dieing then died and he left the state to have a party, this was not the time to leave, he’s the asshole that was insanely selfish and cold of him
Op: "We cant let your child keep his tablet while here for legal reasons" Kid's Mom: "Sorry *son* *OP* is too strict and says you cant have it even though you NEED it." OP: "Then find him a daycare that he can have it in" Kid's Mom: surprised pikachu face
I'm glad I quit working in the daycare when I did... it seems like it's only gotten worse over the last 5 years with electronics 😅 I swore I wouldn't have my kids dependent on electronics and they've made it 5 and almost 4 years so far lol 😆
@@TheGayestAspen Too much screen time messes with kids brains and actually makes them harder to handle, causing a vicious cycle where moms rely on screens and they get even more brain chemically addicted to screens.
@@rykkihart5966 Waldorf and Montessori are screen free approaches to raising/teaching kids. Have you looked into them? I want to look into Charlotte Mason, too, which I think is also a screen free approach.
I disagree with rslash very rarely on these, but I strongly disagree with his rating of the 4th story. Ash did nothing wrong. Her and Patt clearly like each other, and have every right to date.
Yeah and also just because rslash has a great relationship whit his brother that does not mean everybody else has. I don't have a good relationship whit my sister so I am the asshole for doing something that makes her angry.
My older sister has finally calmed down and is no longer the raging bitch that bullied me all through my childhood. We're actually quite friendly now, but that doesn't change the fact that I remember all of it. If I had an honest interest in any of the trash she used to date I wouldn't hesitate even for a second.
I agree with you there. Rslash is making a case for cheaters being "good people", which is annoying to say the least. No matter how "good" they are, they need to accept the consequences of their own choices. Liz chose to cheat. Liz chose to keep the resulting pregnancy. Liz is butthurt that Pat found someone else and she's now playing victim. Liz expects her parents to babysit on demand. Nobody is entitled to that. Ash did nothing wrong. It isn't like she "stole" Pat from Liz. She started dating him long after Liz threw him away. I find this "I dated them 10 years ago, so you (sister, brother, cousin, friend) can't go near them" culture idiotic. Where did that taboo come from? Especially when the person complaining is the one who ended the relationship.
@@GaladorLP Pat is a man I think... Ash can live her life like she wants to, Pat didn't deserve to be cheated on, and who told you that Ash and Pat weren't friends at first? Ash's relationship and Pat's have nothing to do with Liz's. Liz's choose to cheat, to get pregnant and keep the child, the poor man was already struggling to get a degree, he surely was consoled by friends and he did great not to treat the entire family like garbage just bc Liz is a pos, and he kept his friendship with Ash. And what, they fell for eachother, what makes you think that Ash didn't had remorse at first but just remembered that Liz f-ing cheated on him with some random dude (I think it was a random one because if she needed someone to keep an eye on the children she would ask the other parent), I think if I was Ash this would count, she didn't appreciate him, she didn't love him and Ash did so they did great. And I think they are a good match for each other, two responsible people who did sacrifices for their career in order to have a better live in the future. Liz isn't even upset that her sister is dating (and I hope marring if they want to do so) her ex, she's clearly jalous that Ash have a better career, that Ash as a great relationship and family (I'm talking about the one that she is forming with Pat) and that Ash prepared for a better future. If it wasn't Pat, it would be anything else, but she's also upset that she let go of a man that could help her financially and let her live the great life. So kudos for the two love birds to have found each other, sometimes destiny is f*cked, Liz have to take her life in hands for the two child that she decided to have (I don't even understand why if she clearly didn't had the time or money) and what the g-parent said, even if it upsetting was totally true (could have formulated better but I understand that they were frustrated).
The issue is not that Liz's ex has moved on, it is because who he has moved on with. Kind of hard for Liz to move on when her ex is there for family holidays and events. Ash ITAH for not cutting it off from the start. Love is a decision.
Remember in this days its hard to becone a teacher when you have a giant stain saying im an a hole that bullies my students because i thibk it funny and cool.
@@cosmicsans3997 True, but unless Molly is only 25 years old, that teacher is surely retired by now. Heck, some of the teachers who were assholes to me are dead, so no chance of getting satisfaction for me.
@@jjohnston94 i mean even if the teachers are retire that incident will lead to the ripple effect. 1 The reputation of all the people involve are stained 2 This will dis encourage people to trust them 3 If important people found out about this the school will pay severly with the one reciving it will be the supervisor that talked to OP gettibg hit in the face with it.
11:26 justice is absolutely not served. When you get cheated on you get psychologically messed up, sometimes for a long time, and it affects your future relationships, your self-esteem, and put some people into a depression. Someone cheating, and that person being broken up with are absolutely not 1 to 1 events.
That Moolly story really hit home with me on a personal level, I'm glad that are over it and don't have to deal with those people anymore. I think more people need to bring attention to how schools punishment systems are, they shouldn't be able to punish people with no proof for anything especially if the reason the actions were taken are self defence.
I completely agree. I strongly disagree with Rslash here. Ash is not in the wrong at all. His daughter did ruin her own life and now she has to find contentment in that. Was he harsh? Sure. But she's an adult and needs to learn to lay in the bed she made. It isn't the obligation of them to look after her kids, it's a privilege. She's needs to get into therapy and take a long hard look at her life and make some decisions.
My sister married my ex-boyfriend. He became her problem, not mine. I met my sole mate and we have been together for almost 42 years. Life takes weird turns.
"It's been so long, why are you bringing it up?" Isn't that the same thing some people tell assa*lt victims? Imagine caring about the reputation of a school that allows teachers to get away with that.
@@InkHyaena and while they get different kids there will always be bullies until people actually do something about it which this school doesn't do anything
You're assuming Pat was dating Ash to get back at Liz. That's kind of narrow minded, they might have really hit it off, and be really good together. Should they just ignore that because of a sister that makes really poor choices? I have a feeling if the story was the other way around, you'd give Ash 1 BH, but give Liz 3 because if they have a connection outside of petty reasons, it's stupid to dictate their relationships based on someone else's history.
@Rusto Lol, abused because she wasn't being the "perfect wife" anymore. Okay then 😅 BTW, I do think the wife is in an unhealthy spot rn and if she's been grieving like this for 5 months, then she needs some professional help. What she doesn't need, is a husband who's only concern about her is that she's not as bright as she used to be or that she won't give him sex, and leaves her with barely any notice, in a vulnerable state, to go to a party. Might OP have been exhausted? Sure, but abused? Get outta here!
@@rebekahsegun8319 pretty spot on, it's ok to be depressed. It's ok to ask your significant other, after an appropriate amount of time to seek some help/counseling because they are stuck. It's not ok to just heap everything on her shoulders. At 15 I would expect the daughter to be able to make food for herself, heck I'd expect her to be able to make food for the family, you know like share it out kind of thing where no one person is doing it everyday. My grandmother had a stroke in 2003, this left her in pretty bad shape, 2.5 years later she passed. It was shocking to hear about it, I was in a situation where I could not come back and help/visit. But we accepted it at some point that she would pass, and we worked through our grief. The wife in this story is stuck, and clearly needs more than her asshat of a husband.
@@Torsin2000 Her husband is NOT an asshat! He did not berate her! He kept his feelings to himself and celebrated a belated birthday with his family who invited him! He invited her to come but she refused! Lol that’s not fair beyond belief!
The Moolly story: If anything like what happened to OP during her school years had happened to me, my parents would've sued the school and made sure they paid through the nose.
The story with the daughter who cheated. Definitely disagree with Rslash. It was a dose of the truth and if you are an AH for telling the truth, then what is everyone doing? She chose everything and she doesn't like the consequences. Give me a break.
there will always be truths no one wants to hear and will condemn those who tell it. Like in in the bullying story. Op told the truth about their bullying and no one at the school wanted to hear it.
ikr?! shes a grown woman who chose every single aspect of her life!!! it was years after her and the dude dated, they didn't have kids etc she has no right to dictate who dates who only the right to dictate who she want to be with.
I also can't blame Pat or Ash. Liz was the one who fucked up, and neither of them are to blame for not hating each other because Liz cheated on him. She is very clearly a major asshole.
ashe and pat are living their lives and they went to school if I remember correctly around the same time as Liz its not unheard of to happen. its so frustrating that r/ made her the a-hole when Liz is clearly an entitled pos
I actually know someone who is married to his ex's sister. They seem like a nice couple. He told me that when they started dating, they ended up saying something like "why should we let an old relationship from years ago stop us when we have so much in common." It was definitely weird when I heard it, but if it makes them happy why should I care.
That's what I'm saying. I was a nanny for 2 years. Before that by like 10 years I had written a paper in college about commercialization of childhood and covered the screen babysitting.
I can really identify with the 3rd story, I get really weird looks from people who were born and raised in my area when I say I won't send my kids to the same school we (them&myself) went to because I don't want to risk them being treated the same way I was. To be fair though, I would hope to handle situations better than my mom did- hippa violations deserve to be punished to the fullest.
I fully agree with you. When I have kids, I won't send them to the same schools I've been to because I was bullied while in elementary school And in middle school by both the teachers, and the students because when I was little. I suffered from brain damage after falling out of a tree in front of my house and hitting my head against a rock which made it hard for me to learn certain stuff so they used that to bully me, It nearly pushed me to suicide but thanks to my father, I got the help needed and I've graduated High school, and am now working a decent job with a lot of helpful co-workers. One of the things caused by it is I have a slight form of Amnesia, but it's when i'm stressed and it causes me to forget things, It can go from forgetting what I done yesterday to forgetting a few years of my life, though after I calm down those memories come back.
The school story infuriates me so much because I was that child, teachers didn't do shit to help me, and after I grew tougher skin and became too scary to mess with in high school they still didn't do shit for the bullied kids, no matter how many times I tried to help out
ironically enough they dug their own grave with that interview, what did they expect 'oh I had such a wonderful time there and the teachers are ssoo great, yes I was bullied into the ground and beyond but that was absolutely my own fault?'
The sister and the ex did absolutely nothing wrong. Everything that happened is because of the older sister. Just because you wouldn't date your brother ex doesn't mean others won't.
And that makes them crap. Not the fiance, he owes nothing. But the Sister definitely crossed a line. His success as doctor & amazingness as a partner are irrelevant.
The girl that was bullied, 100% NTA. The bullying at her old school was probably still going on. Hopefully telling her story will bring about change needed at that school.
As someone with depression, I have a different take away from that story. I've seen how bad it can get for my partner trying to help. Trying to help me be me again. I don't think anyone is at fault in that story.
When you stop taking care of yourself (like showering twice a week, yuck) that's when everyone should get worried. I agree no one is the BH. Taking care of someone who has depression is hard and frustrating.
Yeah, I don’t think rslash really considered how it can feel to throw love and attention into a black hole. Also, why does he think the fifteen year old can cook for herself? The f she gonna make, pancakes and apples?
@@hikiri3813 Yeah, while it isn't uncommon for fifteen-year-olds to know perfectly well how to cook, many of them don't, so I think it's strange that OP is being dogpiled on for.... taking care of his daughter?
In the first one the guy is a complete AH, he literally lied about her to other people then took it out on her when she ended up in the middle of his lie.
Finally found a comment talking about this. Definitely. It gives off that he was kind of trying to "make" her be his wife. It would go from this to, "Hey, everyone calls you my wife, let's get married now." Then it starts going downhill. He's already basically having people on his side so she can't object. It's sick. After Update: Damn, I was wrong but that's still so shitty
Twice, once in elementary and the again very early into high school I was verbally and psychologically harassed by my peers to the point where I completely self isolated and this manifested in elementary school as walking laps around the schoolyard at recesses and when I was pushed back to that point by the end of the first month of 10th grade, walking laps of the school halls/property.
You're not alone. A lot of us have been the victims of bullying. What helped me the most is realizing that they're not doing it because of something wrong with YOU, but for something wrong with THEM. The reason they focus on particular people is because of the concept of 'low hanging fruit'. They get a reaction from their friends that tells them that what they're doing is okay. Why change as long as that's still the case? If it gets physical, seek help. Otherwise, don't give them the reward of a reaction.
ignoring doesn't do anything, they'll keep doing it time to think of something to bully them back with, they're most likely doing it to feel valid so any personal insult would work lol
The second story really annoyed me - especially rSlash's take on it. I'm a full-time carer. So I know what this man was talking about. Just because he only MENTIONED his wife not cooking, that's not all he was saying. He was saying that he went from being the husband and partner of his wife, with whom shared the responsibility of raising their daughter, to being a single parent cohabiting with someone who takes no responsibility and will not take care of herself. The problem here is that he never KNEW this was coming, and he foolishly kept hoping his wife would come to grips with her emotions. For those of you who have never had to take care of somebody with these kinds of emotional problem, you have no idea how draining it is. Higher stress than an office job, unrewarding, and heartbreaking. I imagine many of you relax when you get home from work. Watch a little TV, cook dinner and spend some time with your loved ones. Imagine for a moment that, instead of relaxing, you literally feel the tension creeping up your spine as you approach your door. You enter your home, but it doesn't FEEL like home, because the person yo chose to make your home and life with has become cold, distant and self-destructive. And there's nothing you can do about it. This man needed a break. His birthday was just an excuse. And without someone who knows how to deal with her, the wife has just as much need for a care facility as her mother.
I have been a semi care giver up until 3 years ago when I became a full time one. I understand how draining it is to be a care giver. You get no time for yourself and all it is about is to take care of the party you are in charge of. Its draining and sometimes as a caregiver we need a break but we dont really get one.
I know exactly how it is as cared for a loved one too. It’s not the time to themselves that’s the issue for me, it’s the not being there but her side once her mum died. He can get a another break after the funeral, but she is breaking down right then and needs him. He’s also her husband too. That’s who she needs at that point.
Ok so rslash first up your relationship with your brother is not synonymous with other sibling relationships. Second Liz dug her own hole and she is falling into it. So she should not expect others to give her support. Third IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR PARTNER THEN YOU LOOSE ALL WRITE TI DECIDE WHO THEY DATE AFTERWARDS. Ash has no obligation to break up with Liz's ex. They are in a relation ship with eachother not with liz. Fourth If you heat on your spouse then it is absolutely OKAY FOR HIM TO DATE YOUR SISTER.
For the one with the daughter the dad did nothing wrong yeah he was a little bit cold with what he said but the daughter has no right to get mad at him when what he’s saying is true
totally disagree on the Pat one - not his fault his ex cheated - iunless he's dating the other sister for revenge. Any awkwardness is the cheaters and while the parents should be supportive, if you can't do the time don't do the crime. She got pregnant cheating, kept the kids and grandparents aren't free childcare only.
It doesn’t sound like Pat is dating Ash for revenge, because they say in the story that he is still a really good guy after the sister cheated on him, it sounds like he got together with Ash organically
It's definitely not for revenge, they even waited a year to even talk about it to be sure it was serious, pat seems like a decent guy and the two of them deserve to be happy, liz is just a selfish bitch throwing a fit because she doesn't want to deal with the consequences of her own actions
Ya. And she purposely brought it in car to make the daycare look like the bad person. Probably one of those parents that just wants to do her own thing while the child just wastes their life online
For the 4th story, no OP is not the butthole, he's 100% correct, and he and his wife are not there to be Liz's emotional trash cans because she effed up her own life. Plus, if my kid cheated I'd probably be "cold" to them to about it. Cheating is unacceptable, period. She made the choice to do it. She made all her own choices, she doesn't get to then go "Woe is me! My life is so hard!" or be mad that her sister and ex are dating. She chose to throw him away. It's all on her, and she needs to accept that where she is in life is no one's fault but her own. Ash is NTA. You can't help who you fall for, and again Liz cheated on Pat. Pat and Ash are in no way in the wrong. Why should they consider Liz's feelings when Liz sure as hell didn't consider Pat's feelings when she cheated? Karma's a bitch, deal with it. I feel this way because my dad used to complain about his life being harder or money being tighter when it was his own choices that led up to it, not to mention his own choices and lack of... well a lot... that led to him and Mom divorcing.
@@dragance9995 Rslash has a fairly strange morality sometimes. No dating exes of family...even if the family was the one fucking them over. Pat and Ash did jackshit wrong
“It was a long time ago” Trauma had no time limit, so cry about it! Folk think they can just traumatise someone and then chastise them for speaking out? You fully deserve everything coming your way.
As for the school story. "A child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." Her own problems are her own fault. NtA Ash isn't the Asshole here
While I do agree with r/'s assessment in the school story about it being a toxic place, I strongly disagree with his rating of the school giving it four out of five. In my view what the school did is five out of five. There is no excuse for bullying!
Only 2 out of 5 for that last Karen? I think you’re too kind. The mom was an awful parent, SUPER passive aggressive, and teaching her child to HATE Miss Lucy. I’m sure she was bashing that daycare provider to everyone who’d listen, too. The only surprise is that she cried when her actions had consequences and didn’t go into a denial tantrum like her child.
Keep this in mind, RSlash judges sibling dynamics from his personal experience without investing the emotional maturity to look at other dynamics. He has a great relationship with his brother... therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him or would cause conflicts between them... like dating a person his brother cheated on... It's clear that the two sisters weren't really close... and the other sister, after a few years found Pat and started to date. She knew this could cause problems for her sister... and decided that since Pat is such a great guy, he was worth the trouble between her and her sister. In the end, the sister who cheated needs to move on from Pat... and stop holding his decisions against him when it was her fault for how their relationship ended up. She should be happy that such a nice man found a woman who would respect him. Except, that might be her problem... realizing how bad of a person she was to him, which conflicts with her self-identity (self-image)... she needs some emotional help and a few visits to the head shrinker. Really, RSlash, when are you going to mature emotionally and put aside your own personal biases?
Guys, everyone grieves differently. My grandma (mom's mom) grieved over my grandpa who had Alzheimer's and dementia WELL before he passed away. My other grandma (dad's mom) grieved for her husband who had congestive heart failure and COPD WAY before he died. I'm still grieving over my cousin's passing THAT WAS OVER 10 YEARS AGO. You can't just tell someone to get over their grief, no matter how long it's been or if the person didn't die yet.
Nobody reasonable said she should "Just get over their grief". But likewise, you cannot expect a person to provide months and months of dedicated one-sided emotional support without it affecting them emotionally. Worst case, you get dragged down into depression while trying to help your partner with theirs. It's not her fault that she's grieving and it's not his fault that he felt he needed a break.
@@Suthek Finally someone who agrees the husband isn't in the wrong! He never once said his wife couldn't grieve, he just needed a reprieve from his one-sided support for such a prolonged period of time. I'm surprised it took him that long to need a break, honestly. And I know grief affects people in different ways, but life doesn't stop just because you're grieving. Her child still exists, her husband still exists, birthdays still exist, basic hygiene still exists...
Yeah, and it's the second time in only a few days that rslash put the wrong title to the wrong content 🙄 And also hasn't responded to comments about that on the other video, or changed said wrong title. Click baiting much?
@@the_Pons Maybe he has produced these videos ahead of time and uploaded them in the wrong order. Or cut them wrongly and uploaded them in the wrong order.
@@the_Pons he produces them way ahead of time, incase he needs or wants a break, mismatching titles or thumbnails is understandable for any youtuber who does this.
It's an exaggeration of the last story actually. In the description it has a summary of the daycare story referring to the mom as a Karen and using "fired" to mean refusing service. It's a bit strange but I'm pretty sure that's what it's supposed to be
He talked about this a little bit, he said that he records weekends ahead of time then uploads them. But I did notice this happened on another video not to long ago and he didn't say anything about the titles being wrong for the videos.
Omfg. That story about the school bullying is a prime example of gaslighting. "Maybe you're just remembering it wrong. I remember those 'harmless little pranks' as being hilarious! Why aren't you laughing with us? WhY arE You beInG so MEAN to uS?!"
WOW that entire school district is a KAREN. " Welcome to Karen High: where your crotch goblins will be trained in the fine art of Karenhood just like our teachers."
Yeah and he decided everyone BUT liz is a butthole like wtf 😂 that logic doesn't make sense to me. And Its not like ash and pat got together JUST to spite liz. Also cheating *DOES* making one a 100% terrible person
@@dragance9995 that made me upset! Liz not only cheated, but had 2 kids with someone else. Instead of bettering herself and for the sake of her kids, she is trying to bring the people around her. She needs therapy and help.
School System : *bully student until the point of braking* Kid as an adult : *Has no happy memories about the school and tells every negative experience that he suffered* School System : :0 "HOW DARE YOU??!"
RE: MIL dying I agree that OPs attitude is shitty (cooking dinner for your child is your big complaint? WTF?), but I think it might be worth pointing out that living for five months with a partner that's falling apart is actually quite stressful in itself. Recognizing that and saying "I need a break to remain sane" doesn't make you a butthole. The other stuff does.
I wouldn't list him as an asshole at all. I know everyone handles grief and depression differently but that woman went off the deep end and sought no help and just stewed in it which affected her direct family, her husband and daughter. To the point both of them had to leave to get some semblance of normalcy and a bit of joy (the husbands birthday which he didn't want to have a miserable depressing day)
4:16 you still need to be there for emotional support imagine how you would feel if she was your very specific fucked up dream girl would up and leave your ass
"Her mother and I have never been close and I know I don't land anywhere close to the top people she wants to see before she passes." Hmmm, gee I wonder why.
I feel like there is more to this whole story when op says the mil probably wouldn't want him there. That makes me think they probably hate each other and maybe why he just doesn't give a fuck about her dying
If someone is always cold to you, neglecting and everything, this takes a huge toll out of everyone. You can support them so much but your strength has limits. Everybody has limits. Still, I would stay at my mates side no matter what, no matter what tolls I have to pay, to the end and beyond eternity. Stay crunchy.
@@neffyg35 even if that's the case, he doesn't care about his wife or supporting her in the slightest. He has nothing to say about the MIL, but only to complain about his wife being sad and depressed while her mother is _ACTIVELY_ dying. He is entitled, self-centered and clearly expects to be served by his wife in even the smallest ways (like making dinner for himself and the family is beyond difficult. As if this is a job only his wife should have to do, no matter the circumstances). It's one thing not to want to be near his MIL, but that's clearly not his issue; as he was quite clear that his issue is with her being sad and grieving. I mean, he even expects her not to cry or be upset at all when she is told her mother is at the end of her fight and life. He also made it extremely clear that he had no intention of supporting his wife immediately after the death and during the funeral. He even asked if he had to come home because he wanted to have fun immediately after being told she died. He's just a level 100 AH. Not liking his in laws would not make him treat his wife like absolute sh*t.
@@lissaw4 Oh FFS. After five MONTHS of shutting the fuck up about everything and being nothing but supportive he needed some goddamn *me* time. That doesn't make him a monster.
RSlash: *gleefully reads stories about elaborate revenge schemes over cheating* Also RSlash: Wow, don’t you think the cheater’s been punished enough??? Dating your cheating ex’s sibling is, like, totally not cool man. :/ Siigghhh. Sometimes I wonder why I still watch you RSlash.
The last one rules are rules if you let 1 child a tablet then all the others will expect to be able to bring their toys so she’s fine by sticking to her guns and rules that she made
Also, how is that mom gonna do that when the kid actually have to school and pay attention in class 'no I don't care if he can't spell his name, just give him the tablet if he wants it ugh' or 'it's your job to make him pay attention why don't you modernize and just let him do schoolwork on his tablet?'
The second story he wasn’t the asshole. I’ve dealt with so many close family deaths so I can say for certain that if someone is letting grief affect them that much before the person has even passed then they’re using it as an excuse. I’ve cared for relatives who were terminal and it’s exhausting but it’s far more exhausting taking care of the other family members coping and yes, you do need mental health breaks or risk breaking down yourself. Needing a mental health break doesn’t make him an asshole when he was dealing with it for six months while taking up their duties as well.
The wife is obviously suffering from depression. He should have gotten her help months ago. Taking a vacation for his birthday despite the possibility of the MiL dying isn't the asshole part - it's how he was treating his wife and her grief up to that point. Before he left, he should have made preparations for his wife in case the MiL died because the wife was already in such bad shape.
This seems logical to most but the problem is most of the time they refuse help and they actually get worse if you try and get them if. As I said I’ve been there, had close family die and saw other members break down and if I tried to help them or get them help they lashed out. Sometimes you just have to let them work through it and be there as best you can but with six months of “today is the day” you never know and at some point your own mental well-being must take priority.
damn this comment made me think. I used to take care of my great grandmother during summer vacation. Whenever i went up there i always gave mostly everyone a break from her and some problems they each had with her. A few times they were all greatful to take a break from caring for her. I mean my grandmother had disagreements with my great grandmother, so that must've took a toll on her mental health. So i guess its good that i came up there to relieve some stress of theirs. I was agreeing with everyone else. and i still do in certain ways that he is an asshole but not for caring for his own mental health.
The Ash and Pat story verdict has got to be the first time I've entirely disagreed with R/Slash on in a long while at LEAST. Pat found another person he grew to love, Ash found one too. Who cares if he had dated the cheater sister. Let them be happy if that is what they decided they want. And really, If grandparents are willing to watch kids then great, but they have lived long lives and deserve the option to just rest and enjoy their time without kids around when they want to. If they already agreed to watch them then sure but come on. The only Butthole here is the cheater who is pushing her problems onto others. Maybe don't call her out on it so harshly but still, cheating and forcing your poor decisions onto others then not getting any blame is not okay.
The thing I agree with Rslash is that the parents should be supportive. The daughter needs counseling. She probably went down a downward spiral. I know it's her fault, but she still deserves help if she actually wants it. The parents should advise her to go to counseling or do something to advance her life. You know what I mean?
11:40 Personally I think Ash isn't a butthole here, because Liz screwed herself over and Ash also deserves to have a good life, and she didn't know he was with Liz before this, Ash deserves a happy life too, not to just lose the love of her life to appease her rude sister.
Last story: that husband would be singing a different toon if the ipad was allowed to stay and got broken or goes missing and Karen demanded THEY replace it out of their own pockets!
Exactly, she cheated and lost a great guy. Her sister owes her nothing in regards to that and pat has no obligation at all. Being dumped is not the end of cheating and that damage continues past the relationship and as such she is a butthole period
I did something similar my senior year of high school that the author did. I essentially wrote an essay about my hellish high school years, and although I didn't name names, people still figured out it was them. They pretty much ran crying to our drama teacher, saying that I was a bitch and, "How could I say these things about them?!" when all I was doing was saying what they'd done, and how I was impacted by it. It didn't matter; they were thin, popular, and attractive, so, of course I had to be the one to apologize, and they were considered not at fault. I hated high school, and although my ten year reunion is coming up, I will not put myself through seeing any of those people again, especially because one of them drove me to attempt suicide the summer after freshman year, and they stayed grouped around him like I didn't even matter.
@@nogoat thank you! Yes I was so depressed that I was pretty much failing everything. I wanted to transfer schools and my dad told me I could if I passed everything. I literally couldn't because I'm math and science illiterate and my other teachers hated me...
For the grief one, I would say that the guy is a little gauche, but from experience, it’s very hard to deal with someone who is constantly in a state of grief. My grandfather died a year ago, and my grandmother, who was already pessimistic before, entered a full blown depression. I started taking care of her, but trying to help someone as much as you can, for months, and having no success is hard. You try to tell her to go see a psychologist, she refuses, you ask her if she would try anti depressant ( she is 87, being addicted to them would not even reduce her quality of life) and she refuses, you try to take her out a bit and she refuses. And the few times you go out, she accuses you of forgetting about her, and how sad she is. Needing a break doesn’t mean that you don’t love her, but always staying with someone who is depressive is a slippery slope, because you might just become depressive and recluse as well. So yeah, I don’t think he dealt with his grieving wife very well, instead of a big vacation, he should have taken a few evenings with friends, spaced out over the 5 months, but but I don’t think his feelings are any less valid.
Wife's Grief: This one I'm kind of mixed on, cuz yeah he was a big butthole here, but then again, as someone who has had to deal with something similar with an ex, I can say that it does get tiring after a while, and it takes a huge toll as well. While I was helping them get better, I myself was getting drained of almost all my free time and happy energy (idk how to quite explain it other than that). She got better in the end, but I couldn't handle the stress of trying to cheer up someone who was the closest thing to family I had, and I just went numb. She didn't like that and broke up with me, so that didn't make it any better. What I'm trying to say is, he was fighting that battle with her, and on top of that, he was caring for both her and their daughter. Yeah she could've done it herself, but he was willing to do it, and that shows how much he cared about the family, worked and then cleaned and cooked for a 15yo teen and a 45yo woman going through a grieving process. Yeah its messed up that he left, but then again, not only was it for his birthday, but it was a break as well. yeah, his wife asked him to stay, and him still leaving is admittedly a butthole move on his end, but blaming him for the whole ordeal would be just ignorant. He's a butthole and he's not a butthole, but I personally am leaning a bit towards the NTA side specifically because I know what it was like to be in his shoes.
I love when rslash tries not to use his entitled person’s voice before deciding if the person is a butthole or not but there are just somethings that are so entitled that he can’t stop himself.
Like the story around the 3 minute mark?
@@tylerprince6371 Yup
@@gabriellesparro3256 Yeah. I noticed the voice change and came to the comments to see if anyone else noticed
Lol yeah like at 4:40 he slips into the entitled person voice a little
Iiiiiii
The Moolly story pissed me off. I’m glad Molly got revenge on that school and I hope she went absolutely zero contact with all the classmates that sided with the school.
"YOURE MAKING VETERAN TEACHERS LOOK BAD"
boo fucking who sounds awful. oh well
They don't LOOK bad. They ARE bad
Exactly, they basically jump her and belittled her, but that's ok, peaches and goddamn cream, but when she points out their mistake *all hell breaks loose* the patience though, if a teacher called me that because the teacher failed miserably to do her damn job (as being a teacher isnt necessarily JUST teaching) I would have gotten suspended longer or even expelled...shes not the A.H shes the *victim*
When I was put into a "prestigious" school in the early 1950's, my teacher hated me because of my different religion coming from a school where I was running top of the class in EVERY subject - I dropped to a below 40% in every subject - and that bitch of a teacher set every one of the other children against me - most physically attacking me - EXCEPT for 2 weeks after I badly sprained my ankle and was on crutches for 2 weeks.
On the first day back at school, the lead bully came after me and tried to bash me - but I had had enough and after he had hit me - I changed ends of one of my crutches and laid him out unconscious - while he was taken to the hospital to get 12 stitches to close the wound on/in his head.
I was sent to the headmasters office and got 12 of "the best" across the arse which I though was a fair exchange.
The good thing about that was that NOT one of the "brave boys" approached me after that until the end of the year, when that deranged ignorant and bigoted teacher "arranged" to have me detained after the class on the very last day while several of the so called brave boys waited for me to come out - so I came out swinging my very heavy school case which in those days was a heavy leather "Gladstone Bag" and IT WAS HEAVY! Three of them went down with some heavy bleeding - but as there were a few more waiting, they were a bit hesitant so I decided that the best course of action was to cut and run to fight another day when the odd were a bit closer.
In one way I suppose she did me a big favour - and it taught me to fight against the odds in my early days of my life - but on the very top of my bucket of things to do before I drop off this planet is to find out where she is buried - because I really find the need to piss on her grave before I go.
@@kekenidika1 They ambushed a person in crutches AND lost? That's cowardly and pathetic.
Imagine calling people a asshole because they didn't show empathy to the person who cheated on them.
Yeah I disagree with him on this pretty hard
You don't need to date your Ex's siblings. Like was Pat trying to get back at his Ex by dating her sister? It makes no logical sense to me. Just because she cheated on him doesn't mean she didn't love him or that she was solely in the wrong for their entire relationship. It doesn't mean that it wouldn't hurt for that person to join your family.
I swear people in the comments act like everyone is either a hero or a villain. There is no nuance.
@@Ayaforshort don't agree but the guy who posted this comment was a litte bit of a a**
@@Ayaforshort that's exactly what it means if you love someone you would be faithful instead of fucking other guys or girls knowing how much it will hurt your partner there's no excuses for this it's just as white and black as it seems and your argument is bad
Humans make dumb decision's
I don’t find the father in the single mother story to be the butthole, his daughter Liz needed a wake up call and that’s exactly what the father did. She she own up-to her actions instead of throwing tantrums.
I agree. No one takes his feelings into account either.
I'm gonna say you're definitely wrong about the story with Liz and Ash. That girl cheated. She has no right to be upset that her ex moved on or that the person he moved on to is her sister. You can't compare everyone else's sibling relationships to your own because their relationship is most likely very different. Ash doesn't owe her sister anything. If she's happy with that man then that's perfectly fine. As for Liz's struggles as a single mother, it was a little insensitive for op to respond the way he did but if she needed a break that bad, she could have hired a babysitter instead of demanding free child care from her parents.
To me, op gets 0.5/5 and Liz gets 3/5. Don't complain about your own shitty actions having equally shitty consequences.
But that's literally what we do on that reddit. We judge others based on what WE find morally wrong or correct, even if our lives are vastly different. Who cares if RSlash's relationship with his brother is different to the one between Ash and Liz? By this logic, we should all just stfu and not give our opinions on the stories that get posted, since, you know, we all live different lives and have different outlooks and opinions and morals etc...
@@Meg_88 yeah sure that's the point of Reddit but this is basically an extension of Reddit lottie can disagree with rslash's opinion because she can.
@@Meg_88 yeah right, if the sisters hated each other to the point that family did not matter, Ash can date Pat for all i care. Just because two people have the same dna that does not mean they will be bbf. Dont be a entitled mother with the "FaaAAAamiiily" bs
agreed.
Nope. Ash caused problems by dating your sisters ex. Not ok
Ash and Pat were not the butthole.
Liz is an entitled parent to the extreme.
I don't get the u can't date my ex thing he aint property he is a person
Edit: i messed up the names, fug. I think it should be understandable now
It was the womans fault that she cheated, and Pat broke up with her as a consequence of her actions. Why would her sister be the butthole, or Pat? If they like each other, should they not date if they want to? Why do her sisters mistakes ruin her relationships? Whelp, confirmed, Rslash is the butthole here, especially for not giving us anything puppy related
Liz Cheated on Pat, and Ash happened to fall in love with Pat. I guess if Pat fucked over Liz and Pat went with Ash after I'd agree but Pat is the real Victim. Rslash is totally ass backwards on this. Sometimes you are the person who ruins your own life. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@Aalee11 if it was Pat that cheated, everyone would be hating him and wishing death upon him, but when the sister does it, somehow it’s ok because she’s going through “Dark Times” and is a single mother which is probably the kids of the guy she cheated with, and gets 0/5 buttholes, that’s just wrong
@@matmil5 Think you confused the names there. Ash is the sister that is dating Pat now, Liz is the sister that cheated.
The Liz story: I completely disagree with you rslash. Ash has a right to date Pat. If Liz is so hurt about that, maybe she shouldn't have cheated.
OP: 0.5/5
Liz: 3/5
Ash and Pat: 0/5
Agreed, people need to stop this victim mentality. Your problems are you fault.
Agreed and disagree
still doesn't change the fact that keeping it in the family is gross. like fucking gross. I also can't help but feel Pat might be stringing Ashe along for the long con just to further fuck them up. some guys are crazy petty. .-.
I kinda agreed and disagreed with aspects of what he said. Like obviously she's going through something and needs some type of support cause I think everyone needs someone to lean on at some point in there life but yeah having your sister date your ex sucks but it's completely valid if they were already broke up.
Agree Ash and Pat didn't do anything wrong, Pat didn't leave Liz to date Ash, thye just met and started dating and unlike Liz, Ash didn't cheat on Pat and get pregnant after saying "yes" to engagement, that was the worst part Liz cheat on Pat after she said yes, if we are going to be honest here Pat dodge the bullet in relation to Liz, as for the OP I'm going to give 0/5,what he said was harsh but it need to be said.
Dude, if I were Molly, I'd contact the journalist again and say, "Hey, I have an UPDATE to that story for you."
I would use some money to put that in a headline and say that some teachers are just picky to who they give there respects.
Indeed! Get that school shut down and teachers fired
The bullying story breaks my heart. So its ok to ruin that person's life in school, but not ok when the truth comes out? People think mob mentality protects them because of the numbers. I am so glad OP exposed them. We have to do better and be kind to each other .
It hurt me because my 10th grade was a living hell because all of my bullies WERE my teachers. Literally none of my fellow students gave me any problems, it was the teachers that tormented me. They singled me out with specific rules, made arbitrary rules specifically for me to follow, teachers that were sexist, got me in trouble for things that never happened, and I even had one teacher that would tinker with my grades just to get me in trouble. So yeah, stories like this make me gravely angry, why do teachers not understand that their job, even before teaching, is keeping the students safe?
“She has two kids as a single parent.” Okay, so kid one was from her affair, but now there’s two. So either she repeated step one, got another great guy, cheated, and got pregnant during the affair, or more likely, continued to date shitty guys (affair partner being shitty guy #1, not Pat) and eventually got knocked up either by “accident” or, again, more likely, because she doesn’t seem to be very careful when it comes to sex. I haven’t finished the story as I did a record scratch at “two kids”, but I don’t have any pity for her as of yet. 🤷🏻♀️
School story: well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
My thoughts exactly. No sympathy for any of the teachers and former class mates especially after they lashed out at her for telling her story.
So, why did you bully Mooly and not help her!?
"well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions." I'm going to have to use that sometime.
The school deserve every of that.
Because, the school encourage BULLYING. Basically.
And the only way to stop is by giving them bad reputation.
That also works with the Liz story.
The cheating story is stupid, liz cheated and ash started liking pat. If u like something and throw it away it’s your fault if someone else takes it. No one can’ say it’s disrespectful to the family when pat and ash could be soulmates.
I agree with this 100%, Liz fucked up and now has to face the consequences. Her father is right to tell her that, she needs to face her decisions that SHE chose. She can’t expect anyone else but her to fix the issues, complaining about them to your parents won’t do anything and is childish on Liz’s part.
I’m still suprised rslash gave the father 1.5 buttholes
It doesn't matter how it ended. Dating your siblings or even close friends ex is just awfully disrespectfull.
At least ask them if its ok for them before getting involved in something.
@@GaladorLP It’s pretty clear these siblings don’t talk and aren’t a part of each other’s lives, so why would she?
@@tohma2829 ,
That's because he has his biases... he has a great relationship with his brother... therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him or would cause conflicts between them... like dating a person his brother cheated on...
Keep this in mind, RSlash judges sibling dynamics from his personal experience without investing the emotional maturity to look at other dynamics.
It's clear that the two sisters weren't really close... and the other sister, after a few years found Pat and started to date. She knew this could cause problems for her sister... and decided that since Pat is such a great guy, he was worth the trouble between her and her sister.
In the end, the sister who cheated needs to move on from Pat... and stop holding his decisions against him when it was her fault for how their relationship ended up. She should be happy that such a nice man found a woman who would respect him.
Except, that might be her problem... realizing how bad of a person she was to him, which conflicts with her self-identity (self-image)... she needs some emotional help and a few visits to the head shrinker.
Story 4 opinion: While you may have a close relationship with your brother, which is a wonderful thing, not everyone is close with their family. Not the A-hole, except Liz. She cheated and got herself in her mess, OP is totally correct. As for Ash, she deserves to date who she wants, just because Pat is an ex of Liz, that doesn't make him off limits. That's the equivalent of licking a brownie so no other kid wants it.
Liz is a major cry baby. She chose her path it's her fault. I think she's just jealous she couldn't didn't get to have a happy life.
i’m so glad to see that there’s at least one person in this comment section that agrees with me, OP and ash and pat are not buttholes at all Liz decided she wanted to cheat on her boyfriend and got hit with karma and since she threw pat away he found a better girl and it happened to be her sister
Thank you, I am thinking, i have 3 younger sisters, if I through out an ex, why would I be mad at my sisters for dating him, when I clearly left him or vice versa. It's just life.
I wouldn't want a brownie if someone lickedit
@@halliegeary8701 im just saying I wouldn't eat that brownie but hey maybe you would
Molly's story hit home. I'm an adult and still destroyed over the damage teachers and students did to me in elementary school.
When my old elementary school announced on their Facebook page that the building was going to be torn down to build a new one, everyone spoke about the fond memories they had going there and a lot of former teachers said how much they loved their students. I on the other hand said good riddance to that school. It brought nothing but 6 grueling years of malicious bullying from the same girl who would spout racial slurs at my face because I was Mexican. She even laughed when word got out that my grandpa passed away and said to me, in FRONT of my teacher that he must have been glad that he died because it meant that he got away from me because I was so ugly. My mom complained numerous times about her but every time the teachers would do something she would start crying that the teachers were going after her because she was black and that always and I mean ALWAYS made them back off. The bullying stopped when I went to junior high.
After I brought that up, a lot of people said that it was in the past and that I should move on but I pointed out that everyone brought up 'lovely' memories of that damn school so why can't I bring up my memories? So Molly has every single right to bring up the school's dirty laundry.
I'm really sorry for what you went through at that school because that girl and the teachers' fear of being accused of being racists. Good for you for standing your ground on that.
I hate when people make their *obviously* bad choices in life, then have the audacity to cry and whine about them. You reap what you sow.
*lorax flashbacks*
Yes. N r/slash is being soft. Making her the victim
it was so frustrating when she literally chose every single aspect of her life job, schooling, going through with not 1 but 2 kids while single, cheating, like she needs to grow tf up. sure the dad could've been nicer but the sister and pat did literally nothing wrong lmfao
@@pitedapollo6175 LOL
I so agree. I take the father's side on this. She needed a slap of realty so hard that it woke her up. Stop whining and complaining and start doing something about it.
The story of Liz in a nutshell.
"I sacrificed everything and the gamble didn't worked, so now my parents and sisters have to do what I say 'cause it's hard to live with consequences".
Also rslash, dude, I you wouldn't date you bro ex's I doesn't mean anything. And Liz cheated, she doesn't deserve nothing but what she got.
"My 3yo NEEDS his tablet."
No 3yo needs a tablet, Karen. Ween them down to a reduced screen time and give your head a shake.
It has been proven that parking your kid in front of a screen physically alters their brain in such a way that it's harder to retain information. What the mom is doing is essentially child abuse.
Doctors scanned many thousands and found distinct physical differences in the brain between those who used screens for hours on end as very young and those who were older.
In short, the conclusion is, don't let your kid use screens several hours a day till they're at least 8-10 years old.
But that would make Karen responsible for looking after her own child and having to come up with something for the kid to do. Maybe she much rather spends her time browsing the social media on her own phone. I feel a bit sad for the kid.
@@AtotehZ I'd believe it. I have two kids (ages 11 and 7) and we have to limit their screen time otherwise it can really effect their personalities and work.
"Am I the A**hole for addicting my kid to their tablet?" Yes.
@@JurassicKM Yeah I have noticed that when my younger brother is told to get off after too much screen time. He is pissy and nasty the rest of the day. He's 18 but has acted this way for years.
That last story: Mom is clearly one of those parents who doesn't discipline. He doesn't "need" the tablet. You're just used to it shutting him up so you give it to him whenever he wants it.
No 3-year-old* should be that dependent on a tablet. I’d almost argue that no 3-year-old should even have a tablet, but I try not to be too harsh about parenting choices since I realize that parenting’s not that simple.
* - Maybe there are some conditions that might warrant it (I’m not a psychologist so I don’t know), but certainly not any neurotypical 3-year-old.
That last story was so NTA that I'm surprised the husband decided to get accusatory over it. The Karen Mom was pushing for a reaction; not OP's fault she didn't like the one she got.
Yeah this mom would definitely cause a scene if that tablet broke while the kid is in daycare and sue for damages. No way I'd hold that responsibility.
Imagine needing a tablet to be the parents for you pathetic mother
@@johnherrera5261 True. It's kinda sad how many parents just sit their kids in front of a tablet and let the screens do the raising.
I'm just glad OP learned their lesson with a McDonalds toy.
That's what made me think that OP wasn't being too strict. If the chance of it being broken comes with a hefty price tag rate than just tears than that's a stay at home toy.
OP is wise to have that rule and has every legitimate reason to stick with it.
I noticed on the bullying story, they never disputed the bullying, just continued to do more bullying.
Wow!
They were just mad she talked about it, never denied it happened
Can't get sued if you don't say it didn't happen
Hey you know what they say you cant cure stupid.
For the story with Molly, I will say this
Pain is something you never forget, nor misremember
The interviewer desired an honest story, and by extension so did the school, and they got one
I’m so sorry you endured such agonizing pain during your earlier academic years, God bless your soul for being strong enough to surpass your grief and become a better person because of it.
How many school shootings in the us could be prevented if the teacher were doing their jobs and going against bullies and not against the victims?
I had a teacher say something really mean to me when I was young. It was something I was already embarrassed about, so it stung deeply and still does. If it had been my child I'd have ruined her.
@@JamesDoe67 I’d say 50-60% as a wild estimate. Thing is, I don’t know US happenings well enough to understand how severe these events are, but I do understand that one school shooting alone is a problem. Like- I know life can be a bitch sometimes, but how jaded can you be that the loss of adolescent and adult lives in the possible hundreds to thousands by the hands of mentally unwell students just doesn’t affect or bother you?
@@milesparris4045 I know damn well I wouldn’t have taken the rational option either
@@blazingaether5315 and those people could've been driven crazy. At some point I do pity school shooter of they were bullied before the event.
The school story:
If the teachers have the audacity to bully a student like Molly, then what prevents them from doing it to other students. The truth was a warning for the parents.
Bet 50 bucks in that second story, if it was the OP who was grieving and depressed, everyone would tell him to "man up" and "deal with it" while supporting his wife going out to party. But because it was the wife, the woman, OP is automatically the bad guy
The sister dating her sister's ex: sorry, rslash, you're completely wrong on this one. Liz made her own bed, and now she gets to lie in it. This includes being reminded of why she's in the current position she's in when she attempts to shift blame/responsibility on to others. As far as the sister dating the ex, not the ideal scenario, but wouldn't have happened if the older sister hadn't cheated.
Dating ex is okay but it is a stigma. Also dating an ex can have a shady story. Depends on the reason.
@@codguy12 that doesn't mean anything.
@Chris George LOL. Exactly.
Keep this in mind, RSlash judges sibling dynamics from his personal experience without investing the emotional maturity to look at other dynamics. He has a great relationship with his brother... therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him or would cause conflicts between them... like dating a person his brother cheated on...
It's clear that the two sisters weren't really close... and the other sister, after a few years found Pat and started to date. She knew this could cause problems for her sister... and decided that since Pat is such a great guy, he was worth the trouble between her and her sister.
In the end, the sister who cheated needs to move on from Pat... and stop holding his decisions against him when it was her fault for how their relationship ended up. She should be happy that such a nice man found a woman who would respect him.
Except, that might be her problem... realizing how bad of a person she was to him, which conflicts with her self-identity (self-image)... she needs some emotional help and a few visits to the head shrinker.
@@codguy12 those situations could go messy real quick.
I dont really agree with your rating on ash, pat, Liz. Honestly Liz isn't the the ahole but this a consequence to her cheating. If pat and Ash really love each other it dosent make them aholes. Frankly Liz needs to grow up and accept what she did. Liz is trying to stop her sister from being happy because she screwed up.
I hate this idea of "Oh you can't date my ex". I get why it's said but in the end - why not?
It's not like HE ruined HER life, she ruined her own life. her sister doesn't have to follow some moral compass some people have :/
Mr. Slash is wrong of this one...sorry
There is also that maybe Pat didn't actually know who Ash was when he initially fell in love with her.
Yes this is true
I agree wi4h you
On the single mom one I think ash is not the “but hole” I think she isn’t because she genuinely likes pat yes the other girl cheated and then she uses the single mom thing that just isn’t right
I was worried I was the only one who felt this way
Thank you. I understand single mom has her feelings but Ash is not responsible. She needs to learn to deal with the consequences of her actions.
There's also so much missing from the story to make the conclusion that Ash was the a-hole.
She may have tried to fight her feelings in respect of her sister, but love is love.
I 100% agree with you. I read this one a few days ago and my opinion hasn’t changed. Not only did Liz cheat, but she got pregnant and by how it sounds, she kept it!
Definitely Ash and pat deserve 0 buttholes, they've done absolutely nothing wrong and it doesn't matter that he's the sisters ex, that was years ago and why shouldn't they be happy together. The past relationship has nothing to do with it and the sister has no right to throw a fit because she chose to cheat on a decent guy and got pregnant, of course she lost him, she doesn't deserve him.. But you know who does? The sister who actually cares about the guy
I take issue with the second story and people's reactions to it. Having help take care of someone before who had suffered with depression for years, I get the point of it being draining.
The Husband in there wasn't just taking care of a 15yo who could take care of herself, He was doing everything alongside effectively losing his wife. His wife both emotionally and physically changed. once he got affection from her, now she’s a "zombie". Before he saw someone, who took care of themself to now seeing someone who physically doesn’t care about anything. Its not about the wife not wearing makeup - its about her being a completely different person. He’s not just cooking, he’s cleaning, paying bills, taking care of the family. Yes, the daughter is 15yo - That doesn’t mean you can just stop taking care of them and let them fend for themselves, especially when the child has to watch their own mother go through such drastic changes.
Look at this from his perspective. He’s trying to be a good father, his own wife is a completely different person, and he is being completely ignored.
And if you think the wife will get better, she won’t, not for a while. Now that his MIL has passed, the wife in this situation will get worse. She was in a depression state before she lost her own mother, and with her feeling betrayed by her husband she will feel even more alone. The wife needs professional help.
People today like to cry that mental health is important but calling someone an asshole who is sacrificing their own mental health for their family is hypocritical. To the people who say, suck it up your wife is going through tough times - I call BS. That’s like telling those who are depressed themselves, suck up - it’s not that bad. Yes, He could have handled the situation better, he left to celebrate his birthday. His situation sucked. but at some point, you have to take care of yourself. and given that this all happened during Covid times? These are already some stressful times.
I was looking for a comment like this! I totally agree, the way he wrote the story, he sounds like a loving husband who had been taking care of his entire family and got nothing in return. Not even a birthday (and, mind you, birthdays are very important) yet hes an asshole when he wants to do something for himself?
People want to not see that caregiver fatigue is a thing. This is what usually leads that old happy married couple that's been together for 60 years to try and kill each other.
I'd agree with you if the husband didn't whine and complain the whole time about his wife and situation instead of genuinely trying to show her compassion. He didn't communicate what he wanted properly and made the situation about himself when it's not about him. He didn't once say how he was concerned for his wife's emotional state, just how she was changing, which is difficult to watch. But not once did this guy actually bother to mention his wife's feelings and needs, only his. He is TA and could have taken care of himself without having to leave.
Sorry but no, his wife’s mother was actively dieing then died and he left the state to have a party, this was not the time to leave, he’s the asshole that was insanely selfish and cold of him
@@cherrycoke131 the was at least a year between the mil death and the husband's party. When does he get time for himself? In 5 years? 10? Never?
Op: "We cant let your child keep his tablet while here for legal reasons"
Kid's Mom: "Sorry *son* *OP* is too strict and says you cant have it even though you NEED it."
OP: "Then find him a daycare that he can have it in"
Kid's Mom: surprised pikachu face
She sounds like a millennial and single mom. She uses the tablet to babysit him.
I'm glad I quit working in the daycare when I did... it seems like it's only gotten worse over the last 5 years with electronics 😅 I swore I wouldn't have my kids dependent on electronics and they've made it 5 and almost 4 years so far lol 😆
@@analyticalchick3064 lets not rag on millenial mothers using the tools they have at their disposal to watch their kids.
@@TheGayestAspen Too much screen time messes with kids brains and actually makes them harder to handle, causing a vicious cycle where moms rely on screens and they get even more brain chemically addicted to screens.
@@rykkihart5966 Waldorf and Montessori are screen free approaches to raising/teaching kids. Have you looked into them? I want to look into Charlotte Mason, too, which I think is also a screen free approach.
I disagree with rslash very rarely on these, but I strongly disagree with his rating of the 4th story. Ash did nothing wrong. Her and Patt clearly like each other, and have every right to date.
the fact that liz cheated on pat is the reason why i think she has no right to say anything against their realationship
Yeah and also just because rslash has a great relationship whit his brother that does not mean everybody else has. I don't have a good relationship whit my sister so I am the asshole for doing something that makes her angry.
I do agree it was a bit harsh to say that but it was well needed. People like her need a cold hard reality check.
My older sister has finally calmed down and is no longer the raging bitch that bullied me all through my childhood.
We're actually quite friendly now, but that doesn't change the fact that I remember all of it.
If I had an honest interest in any of the trash she used to date I wouldn't hesitate even for a second.
I agree with you there. Rslash is making a case for cheaters being "good people", which is annoying to say the least. No matter how "good" they are, they need to accept the consequences of their own choices.
Liz chose to cheat. Liz chose to keep the resulting pregnancy. Liz is butthurt that Pat found someone else and she's now playing victim. Liz expects her parents to babysit on demand. Nobody is entitled to that.
Ash did nothing wrong. It isn't like she "stole" Pat from Liz. She started dating him long after Liz threw him away.
I find this "I dated them 10 years ago, so you (sister, brother, cousin, friend) can't go near them" culture idiotic. Where did that taboo come from? Especially when the person complaining is the one who ended the relationship.
Ash and Pat are NTA you don’t get to cheat on someone then get upset about your ex’s new relationship
Pat can do what she wants. But Ash is a complete Garbage sister
@@GaladorLP Pat is a man I think...
Ash can live her life like she wants to, Pat didn't deserve to be cheated on, and who told you that Ash and Pat weren't friends at first?
Ash's relationship and Pat's have nothing to do with Liz's. Liz's choose to cheat, to get pregnant and keep the child, the poor man was already struggling to get a degree, he surely was consoled by friends and he did great not to treat the entire family like garbage just bc Liz is a pos, and he kept his friendship with Ash.
And what, they fell for eachother, what makes you think that Ash didn't had remorse at first but just remembered that Liz f-ing cheated on him with some random dude (I think it was a random one because if she needed someone to keep an eye on the children she would ask the other parent), I think if I was Ash this would count, she didn't appreciate him, she didn't love him and Ash did so they did great.
And I think they are a good match for each other, two responsible people who did sacrifices for their career in order to have a better live in the future.
Liz isn't even upset that her sister is dating (and I hope marring if they want to do so) her ex, she's clearly jalous that Ash have a better career, that Ash as a great relationship and family (I'm talking about the one that she is forming with Pat) and that Ash prepared for a better future. If it wasn't Pat, it would be anything else, but she's also upset that she let go of a man that could help her financially and let her live the great life.
So kudos for the two love birds to have found each other, sometimes destiny is f*cked, Liz have to take her life in hands for the two child that she decided to have (I don't even understand why if she clearly didn't had the time or money) and what the g-parent said, even if it upsetting was totally true (could have formulated better but I understand that they were frustrated).
@@GaladorLP Liz is a complete garbage person though...
@@GaladorLP Ok I honestly don't know who is right here. Because both are justified here!
The issue is not that Liz's ex has moved on, it is because who he has moved on with. Kind of hard for Liz to move on when her ex is there for family holidays and events. Ash ITAH for not cutting it off from the start. Love is a decision.
The teacher that said "Mooly" deserves far, far worse than her award taken away and her reputation tarnished.
Not really, I feel like she got a perfect punishment. Ruin someone's social life? Yours gets ruined too. And all your hard work gets wasted.
yeah because she BULLIED A STUDENT she should have her teaching license revoked
Remember in this days its hard to becone a teacher when you have a giant stain saying im an a hole that bullies my students because i thibk it funny and cool.
@@cosmicsans3997 True, but unless Molly is only 25 years old, that teacher is surely retired by now. Heck, some of the teachers who were assholes to me are dead, so no chance of getting satisfaction for me.
@@jjohnston94 i mean even if the teachers are retire that incident will lead to the ripple effect.
1 The reputation of all the people involve are stained
2 This will dis encourage people to trust them
3 If important people found out about this the school will pay severly with the one reciving it will be the supervisor that talked to OP gettibg hit in the face with it.
11:26 justice is absolutely not served. When you get cheated on you get psychologically messed up, sometimes for a long time, and it affects your future relationships, your self-esteem, and put some people into a depression. Someone cheating, and that person being broken up with are absolutely not 1 to 1 events.
That Moolly story really hit home with me on a personal level, I'm glad that are over it and don't have to deal with those people anymore. I think more people need to bring attention to how schools punishment systems are, they shouldn't be able to punish people with no proof for anything especially if the reason the actions were taken are self defence.
Ash wasn’t even doing anything wrong, she was just trying to be happy
Ya I agree I dont think she is a butthole
Exactly plus you don't pass on a doctor that is a nice guy. That's like a God send.
I completely agree. I strongly disagree with Rslash here. Ash is not in the wrong at all. His daughter did ruin her own life and now she has to find contentment in that. Was he harsh? Sure. But she's an adult and needs to learn to lay in the bed she made. It isn't the obligation of them to look after her kids, it's a privilege. She's needs to get into therapy and take a long hard look at her life and make some decisions.
Totally agree. i don't think the doc is a butthole either, if he genuinely loves the ash. I don't think he is going for revenge or smthng
My sister married my ex-boyfriend. He became her problem, not mine. I met my sole mate and we have been together for almost 42 years. Life takes weird turns.
"It's been so long, why are you bringing it up?" Isn't that the same thing some people tell assa*lt victims? Imagine caring about the reputation of a school that allows teachers to get away with that.
plus what's to stop the school from repeating the actions with another student
@@animefan8591 My thoughts exactly. If the same teachers were there, you can bet their behavior didn't change bc they thought they got away with it
@@InkHyaena and while they get different kids there will always be bullies until people actually do something about it which this school doesn't do anything
You're assuming Pat was dating Ash to get back at Liz. That's kind of narrow minded, they might have really hit it off, and be really good together. Should they just ignore that because of a sister that makes really poor choices?
I have a feeling if the story was the other way around, you'd give Ash 1 BH, but give Liz 3 because if they have a connection outside of petty reasons, it's stupid to dictate their relationships based on someone else's history.
@Rusto Lol, abused because she wasn't being the "perfect wife" anymore. Okay then 😅
BTW, I do think the wife is in an unhealthy spot rn and if she's been grieving like this for 5 months, then she needs some professional help. What she doesn't need, is a husband who's only concern about her is that she's not as bright as she used to be or that she won't give him sex, and leaves her with barely any notice, in a vulnerable state, to go to a party. Might OP have been exhausted? Sure, but abused? Get outta here!
@@rebekahsegun8319 pretty spot on, it's ok to be depressed. It's ok to ask your significant other, after an appropriate amount of time to seek some help/counseling because they are stuck. It's not ok to just heap everything on her shoulders. At 15 I would expect the daughter to be able to make food for herself, heck I'd expect her to be able to make food for the family, you know like share it out kind of thing where no one person is doing it everyday.
My grandmother had a stroke in 2003, this left her in pretty bad shape, 2.5 years later she passed. It was shocking to hear about it, I was in a situation where I could not come back and help/visit. But we accepted it at some point that she would pass, and we worked through our grief. The wife in this story is stuck, and clearly needs more than her asshat of a husband.
Explain what “the other way around” would be ?
@Rusto When did that happen?
@@Torsin2000 Her husband is NOT an asshat! He did not berate her! He kept his feelings to himself and celebrated a belated birthday with his family who invited him! He invited her to come but she refused! Lol that’s not fair beyond belief!
2:00 no OP didn't get him in to this, he got himself into this, by drastically exaggerating his relationship with his girlfriend
The Moolly story: If anything like what happened to OP during her school years had happened to me, my parents would've sued the school and made sure they paid through the nose.
The story with the daughter who cheated. Definitely disagree with Rslash. It was a dose of the truth and if you are an AH for telling the truth, then what is everyone doing? She chose everything and she doesn't like the consequences. Give me a break.
there will always be truths no one wants to hear and will condemn those who tell it. Like in in the bullying story. Op told the truth about their bullying and no one at the school wanted to hear it.
Right! She is a GROWN WOMAN. She needs to realize that her actions will affect her life. Also I disagree with calling the sister a butthole.
ikr?! shes a grown woman who chose every single aspect of her life!!! it was years after her and the dude dated, they didn't have kids etc she has no right to dictate who dates who only the right to dictate who she want to be with.
I also can't blame Pat or Ash. Liz was the one who fucked up, and neither of them are to blame for not hating each other because Liz cheated on him. She is very clearly a major asshole.
Exactly! He didn’t even bring up the fact that Liz cheated and got PREGNANT with someone Else’s Baby!! Like wtf?!
I am addicted to rslash, its like a person's morning coffee, my day isn't complete with it.
Afternoon coffee, and yes. 1000% this
If you aren't drinking your morning/afternoon/evening coffee or tea, what are you even doing with your life?
Ugh sameeee🤤
@@SkunkApe407 words to live by
@@SkunkApe407 is iced coffee fine? Lol
I completely disagree with the Ash/Liz story, she chooses to cheat, so yeah justice was served, but her sister new partner have nothing to do with her
Liz seems like a leech
Love your profile picture, Sebastian Tello, reminds me of a dragon bust... (head plus shoulders)
ashe and pat are living their lives and they went to school if I remember correctly around the same time as Liz its not unheard of to happen. its so frustrating that r/ made her the a-hole when Liz is clearly an entitled pos
I actually know someone who is married to his ex's sister. They seem like a nice couple.
He told me that when they started dating, they ended up saying something like "why should we let an old relationship from years ago stop us when we have so much in common."
It was definitely weird when I heard it, but if it makes them happy why should I care.
A young kid like that, basically no more than a toddler, already addicted to a screen. Yeah, that's good parenting.
That's what I'm saying. I was a nanny for 2 years. Before that by like 10 years I had written a paper in college about commercialization of childhood and covered the screen babysitting.
"Teachers having a tough time." Really? Teachers don't deserve half of the "respect" that they demand.
I can really identify with the 3rd story, I get really weird looks from people who were born and raised in my area when I say I won't send my kids to the same school we (them&myself) went to because I don't want to risk them being treated the same way I was. To be fair though, I would hope to handle situations better than my mom did- hippa violations deserve to be punished to the fullest.
I fully agree with you. When I have kids, I won't send them to the same schools I've been to because I was bullied while in elementary school And in middle school by both the teachers, and the students because when I was little. I suffered from brain damage after falling out of a tree in front of my house and hitting my head against a rock which made it hard for me to learn certain stuff so they used that to bully me, It nearly pushed me to suicide but thanks to my father, I got the help needed and I've graduated High school, and am now working a decent job with a lot of helpful co-workers. One of the things caused by it is I have a slight form of Amnesia, but it's when i'm stressed and it causes me to forget things, It can go from forgetting what I done yesterday to forgetting a few years of my life, though after I calm down those memories come back.
The school story infuriates me so much because I was that child, teachers didn't do shit to help me, and after I grew tougher skin and became too scary to mess with in high school they still didn't do shit for the bullied kids, no matter how many times I tried to help out
ironically enough they dug their own grave with that interview, what did they expect 'oh I had such a wonderful time there and the teachers are ssoo great, yes I was bullied into the ground and beyond but that was absolutely my own fault?'
I’m glad my dead teachers are dead if I hated them
The sister and the ex did absolutely nothing wrong. Everything that happened is because of the older sister. Just because you wouldn't date your brother ex doesn't mean others won't.
Agreed. I sometimes think Rslash can be a little biased.
And that makes them crap. Not the fiance, he owes nothing. But the Sister definitely crossed a line. His success as doctor & amazingness as a partner are irrelevant.
@@tacticalfloridaman8595 everyone, including you, has bias.
Dating your sibling's exes is a dick move.
@@Mewse1203 I mean, I want my sibling dead and I disowned them, I think it really depends on the family.
The girl that was bullied, 100% NTA. The bullying at her old school was probably still going on. Hopefully telling her story will bring about change needed at that school.
As someone with depression, I have a different take away from that story. I've seen how bad it can get for my partner trying to help. Trying to help me be me again. I don't think anyone is at fault in that story.
That wife needs help that her husband isn't qualified for.
When you stop taking care of yourself (like showering twice a week, yuck) that's when everyone should get worried.
I agree no one is the BH. Taking care of someone who has depression is hard and frustrating.
Yeah, I don’t think rslash really considered how it can feel to throw love and attention into a black hole. Also, why does he think the fifteen year old can cook for herself? The f she gonna make, pancakes and apples?
@@hikiri3813 Yeah, while it isn't uncommon for fifteen-year-olds to know perfectly well how to cook, many of them don't, so I think it's strange that OP is being dogpiled on for.... taking care of his daughter?
In the first one the guy is a complete AH, he literally lied about her to other people then took it out on her when she ended up in the middle of his lie.
Finally found a comment talking about this. Definitely. It gives off that he was kind of trying to "make" her be his wife. It would go from this to, "Hey, everyone calls you my wife, let's get married now." Then it starts going downhill. He's already basically having people on his side so she can't object. It's sick.
After Update: Damn, I was wrong but that's still so shitty
OP: *Corrects the teacher*
Students: *GASP*
Teachers: *GASP*
As a student who keeps getting bullied, this makes my blood boil.
I was a bullied student too. But seriously, can you really expect people like that to become anything different later in life?
Twice, once in elementary and the again very early into high school I was verbally and psychologically harassed by my peers to the point where I completely self isolated and this manifested in elementary school as walking laps around the schoolyard at recesses and when I was pushed back to that point by the end of the first month of 10th grade, walking laps of the school halls/property.
You're not alone. A lot of us have been the victims of bullying. What helped me the most is realizing that they're not doing it because of something wrong with YOU, but for something wrong with THEM. The reason they focus on particular people is because of the concept of 'low hanging fruit'. They get a reaction from their friends that tells them that what they're doing is okay. Why change as long as that's still the case? If it gets physical, seek help. Otherwise, don't give them the reward of a reaction.
ignoring doesn't do anything, they'll keep doing it
time to think of something to bully them back with, they're most likely doing it to feel valid so any personal insult would work lol
I'm sorry you are being bullied. I was bullied a lot as a kid.
The last story the mum needs to actually parent their child instead of just giving them an iPad to keep him quiet!
Its a good opportunity to teach that electronics are ok in some situations and not others.
Your pfp is scary af
Actually for some children, electronic devices are really good.. My son has special needs and it's helped him out with a lot..
The second story really annoyed me - especially rSlash's take on it.
I'm a full-time carer. So I know what this man was talking about. Just because he only MENTIONED his wife not cooking, that's not all he was saying. He was saying that he went from being the husband and partner of his wife, with whom shared the responsibility of raising their daughter, to being a single parent cohabiting with someone who takes no responsibility and will not take care of herself. The problem here is that he never KNEW this was coming, and he foolishly kept hoping his wife would come to grips with her emotions.
For those of you who have never had to take care of somebody with these kinds of emotional problem, you have no idea how draining it is. Higher stress than an office job, unrewarding, and heartbreaking.
I imagine many of you relax when you get home from work. Watch a little TV, cook dinner and spend some time with your loved ones. Imagine for a moment that, instead of relaxing, you literally feel the tension creeping up your spine as you approach your door. You enter your home, but it doesn't FEEL like home, because the person yo chose to make your home and life with has become cold, distant and self-destructive. And there's nothing you can do about it.
This man needed a break. His birthday was just an excuse. And without someone who knows how to deal with her, the wife has just as much need for a care facility as her mother.
I have been a semi care giver up until 3 years ago when I became a full time one. I understand how draining it is to be a care giver. You get no time for yourself and all it is about is to take care of the party you are in charge of. Its draining and sometimes as a caregiver we need a break but we dont really get one.
I know exactly how it is as cared for a loved one too. It’s not the time to themselves that’s the issue for me, it’s the not being there but her side once her mum died. He can get a another break after the funeral, but she is breaking down right then and needs him. He’s also her husband too. That’s who she needs at that point.
The hard thing to admit is that grief is also not an excuse to neglect your responsibilities as a parent and a spouse.
Yeah. The post also mentions that she showers "maybe twice a week". It's clear that the wife is wrong.
3 year old has to have a tablet? I'm scared to think how his life might be when he's older, being raised in such entitled way.
Unfortunately, too many children are being brought up this way, with parents refusing to parent~
My son has special needs, he has had one since he was young and it's helped him a lot..
Ash is not a butthole at all. You shouldn’t throw your own happiness away for a sister who clearly didn’t care enough about him
Ok so rslash first up your relationship with your brother is not synonymous with other sibling relationships.
Second Liz dug her own hole and she is falling into it. So she should not expect others to give her support.
Third IF YOU CHEATED ON YOUR PARTNER THEN YOU LOOSE ALL WRITE TI DECIDE WHO THEY DATE AFTERWARDS.
Ash has no obligation to break up with Liz's ex. They are in a relation ship with eachother not with liz.
Fourth If you heat on your spouse then it is absolutely OKAY FOR HIM TO DATE YOUR SISTER.
RED flag on the boyfriend claiming she is his wife when she isn't.
4:40 Oooo I can briefly hear "smug karen" voice tone in that
Idk how Rslash thought Ash and the fam were buttholes to Liz when Liz just... Made her bed and had to lie in it. Actions have consequences.
For the one with the daughter the dad did nothing wrong yeah he was a little bit cold with what he said but the daughter has no right to get mad at him when what he’s saying is true
Yeah sorry have to disagree with rslash the daughter was complain g about it for many times I guess eventually you would lose the cool
And didn't the daughter come to their home unannounced, and then complains about her life? Like what the heck!
I agree she set herself up for her own situation and needs to learn to fix it and not complain
Good to see more adults seeing the point she fuck up and she the only one who can get better no one going to save her she needs to do it on her own
totally disagree on the Pat one - not his fault his ex cheated - iunless he's dating the other sister for revenge. Any awkwardness is the cheaters and while the parents should be supportive, if you can't do the time don't do the crime. She got pregnant cheating, kept the kids and grandparents aren't free childcare only.
It doesn’t sound like Pat is dating Ash for revenge, because they say in the story that he is still a really good guy after the sister cheated on him, it sounds like he got together with Ash organically
Exactly. I think rslash is being too harsh on Ash and Pat
It's definitely not for revenge, they even waited a year to even talk about it to be sure it was serious, pat seems like a decent guy and the two of them deserve to be happy, liz is just a selfish bitch throwing a fit because she doesn't want to deal with the consequences of her own actions
I learned a dad joke recently and its kinda life advice as well..
Don't blame others for the road you are on, its your own asphalt.
Ok I’m stealing that it’s great
"Maybe you remembered it incorrectly" is the most disrespectful shit to say to someone.
If he insists on telling everyone ur married, why doesn't he actually marry you???
Because he was cheating the whole time. He wanted to make it easier on himself
Crappy cop-out excuse to manipulate and lie. He sounds super toxic.
It is a BIIIIIG RED FLAG if a daycare-Kid is SO dependant on a tablet
probably why coppa is on youtube now.
Ya. And she purposely brought it in car to make the daycare look like the bad person. Probably one of those parents that just wants to do her own thing while the child just wastes their life online
... :(
Not only that. The kid is 3 years old. Isn't he supposed to learn to socialize and play with other kids? To learn to share toys and such?
For the 4th story, no OP is not the butthole, he's 100% correct, and he and his wife are not there to be Liz's emotional trash cans because she effed up her own life. Plus, if my kid cheated I'd probably be "cold" to them to about it. Cheating is unacceptable, period. She made the choice to do it. She made all her own choices, she doesn't get to then go "Woe is me! My life is so hard!" or be mad that her sister and ex are dating. She chose to throw him away. It's all on her, and she needs to accept that where she is in life is no one's fault but her own. Ash is NTA. You can't help who you fall for, and again Liz cheated on Pat. Pat and Ash are in no way in the wrong. Why should they consider Liz's feelings when Liz sure as hell didn't consider Pat's feelings when she cheated? Karma's a bitch, deal with it.
I feel this way because my dad used to complain about his life being harder or money being tighter when it was his own choices that led up to it, not to mention his own choices and lack of... well a lot... that led to him and Mom divorcing.
I would give OP at most 0.5/5 because yes it was a bit cold
@@dragance9995 Rslash has a fairly strange morality sometimes. No dating exes of family...even if the family was the one fucking them over. Pat and Ash did jackshit wrong
“He needs it” no Karen needs the tables to be the baby sitter because she doesn’t want to entertain her kid.
“It was a long time ago”
Trauma had no time limit, so cry about it! Folk think they can just traumatise someone and then chastise them for speaking out? You fully deserve everything coming your way.
As for the school story. "A child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."
Her own problems are her own fault. NtA
Ash isn't the Asshole here
While I do agree with r/'s assessment in the school story about it being a toxic place, I strongly disagree with his rating of the school giving it four out of five. In my view what the school did is five out of five. There is no excuse for bullying!
you got us in the first half lol
Only 2 out of 5 for that last Karen? I think you’re too kind. The mom was an awful parent, SUPER passive aggressive, and teaching her child to HATE Miss Lucy. I’m sure she was bashing that daycare provider to everyone who’d listen, too. The only surprise is that she cried when her actions had consequences and didn’t go into a denial tantrum like her child.
Keep this in mind, RSlash judges sibling dynamics from his personal experience without investing the emotional maturity to look at other dynamics. He has a great relationship with his brother... therefore, he would never do anything to hurt him or would cause conflicts between them... like dating a person his brother cheated on...
It's clear that the two sisters weren't really close... and the other sister, after a few years found Pat and started to date. She knew this could cause problems for her sister... and decided that since Pat is such a great guy, he was worth the trouble between her and her sister.
In the end, the sister who cheated needs to move on from Pat... and stop holding his decisions against him when it was her fault for how their relationship ended up. She should be happy that such a nice man found a woman who would respect him.
Except, that might be her problem... realizing how bad of a person she was to him, which conflicts with her self-identity (self-image)... she needs some emotional help and a few visits to the head shrinker.
Really, RSlash, when are you going to mature emotionally and put aside your own personal biases?
I thought I was the only one.
The tablet is more of a parent than Karen herself.
Guys, everyone grieves differently. My grandma (mom's mom) grieved over my grandpa who had Alzheimer's and dementia WELL before he passed away. My other grandma (dad's mom) grieved for her husband who had congestive heart failure and COPD WAY before he died. I'm still grieving over my cousin's passing THAT WAS OVER 10 YEARS AGO. You can't just tell someone to get over their grief, no matter how long it's been or if the person didn't die yet.
Nobody reasonable said she should "Just get over their grief".
But likewise, you cannot expect a person to provide months and months of dedicated one-sided emotional support without it affecting them emotionally. Worst case, you get dragged down into depression while trying to help your partner with theirs.
It's not her fault that she's grieving and it's not his fault that he felt he needed a break.
@@Suthek Finally someone who agrees the husband isn't in the wrong! He never once said his wife couldn't grieve, he just needed a reprieve from his one-sided support for such a prolonged period of time. I'm surprised it took him that long to need a break, honestly. And I know grief affects people in different ways, but life doesn't stop just because you're grieving. Her child still exists, her husband still exists, birthdays still exist, basic hygiene still exists...
School: STOP BULLYING!
OP: *gets bullied*
School: *does nothing*
*You have become the very thing you swore to destroy*
You are a cultured one
Fun fact: the fired karen was never there
Yeah, and it's the second time in only a few days that rslash put the wrong title to the wrong content 🙄 And also hasn't responded to comments about that on the other video, or changed said wrong title.
Click baiting much?
@@the_Pons Maybe he has produced these videos ahead of time and uploaded them in the wrong order. Or cut them wrongly and uploaded them in the wrong order.
@@the_Pons he produces them way ahead of time, incase he needs or wants a break, mismatching titles or thumbnails is understandable for any youtuber who does this.
It's an exaggeration of the last story actually. In the description it has a summary of the daycare story referring to the mom as a Karen and using "fired" to mean refusing service. It's a bit strange but I'm pretty sure that's what it's supposed to be
He talked about this a little bit, he said that he records weekends ahead of time then uploads them. But I did notice this happened on another video not to long ago and he didn't say anything about the titles being wrong for the videos.
To quote Elvis, "Little sister don't you do what your big sister done."
Hah! Nice
James Brown to Ash:
*I FEEL GOOD*
Omfg. That story about the school bullying is a prime example of gaslighting. "Maybe you're just remembering it wrong. I remember those 'harmless little pranks' as being hilarious! Why aren't you laughing with us? WhY arE You beInG so MEAN to uS?!"
WOW that entire school district is a KAREN. " Welcome to Karen High: where your crotch goblins will be trained in the fine art of Karenhood just like our teachers."
I'm so using crotch goblin for an entitled persons kid.
I don't agree with the 4th story
She cheated on her boyfriend
She doesnt get to call dibs on him
True
Yeah and he decided everyone BUT liz is a butthole like wtf 😂 that logic doesn't make sense to me. And Its not like ash and pat got together JUST to spite liz.
Also cheating *DOES* making one a 100% terrible person
@@_AbhiRam_ "everyone involved is an butthole EXCEPT the cheater who caused this"
If you cheat you get 5/5 butthole points and the partner has the choice to dump you on the spot.
@@dragance9995 that made me upset! Liz not only cheated, but had 2 kids with someone else. Instead of bettering herself and for the sake of her kids, she is trying to bring the people around her. She needs therapy and help.
School System : *bully student until the point of braking*
Kid as an adult : *Has no happy memories about the school and tells every negative experience that he suffered*
School System : :0 "HOW DARE YOU??!"
RE: MIL dying
I agree that OPs attitude is shitty (cooking dinner for your child is your big complaint? WTF?), but I think it might be worth pointing out that living for five months with a partner that's falling apart is actually quite stressful in itself. Recognizing that and saying "I need a break to remain sane" doesn't make you a butthole. The other stuff does.
I wouldn't list him as an asshole at all. I know everyone handles grief and depression differently but that woman went off the deep end and sought no help and just stewed in it which affected her direct family, her husband and daughter. To the point both of them had to leave to get some semblance of normalcy and a bit of joy (the husbands birthday which he didn't want to have a miserable depressing day)
4:16 you still need to be there for emotional support imagine how you would feel if she was your very specific fucked up dream girl would up and leave your ass
"Her mother and I have never been close and I know I don't land anywhere close to the top people she wants to see before she passes."
Hmmm, gee I wonder why.
"why doe SHE get a birthday cake" lol sounded like some toddler who don't get anything about life
I feel like there is more to this whole story when op says the mil probably wouldn't want him there. That makes me think they probably hate each other and maybe why he just doesn't give a fuck about her dying
If someone is always cold to you, neglecting and everything, this takes a huge toll out of everyone. You can support them so much but your strength has limits. Everybody has limits. Still, I would stay at my mates side no matter what, no matter what tolls I have to pay, to the end and beyond eternity.
Stay crunchy.
Yea, weird how the daughter would made the mom a birthday cake but didn't make him one.
@@neffyg35 even if that's the case, he doesn't care about his wife or supporting her in the slightest. He has nothing to say about the MIL, but only to complain about his wife being sad and depressed while her mother is _ACTIVELY_ dying. He is entitled, self-centered and clearly expects to be served by his wife in even the smallest ways (like making dinner for himself and the family is beyond difficult. As if this is a job only his wife should have to do, no matter the circumstances). It's one thing not to want to be near his MIL, but that's clearly not his issue; as he was quite clear that his issue is with her being sad and grieving. I mean, he even expects her not to cry or be upset at all when she is told her mother is at the end of her fight and life. He also made it extremely clear that he had no intention of supporting his wife immediately after the death and during the funeral. He even asked if he had to come home because he wanted to have fun immediately after being told she died.
He's just a level 100 AH. Not liking his in laws would not make him treat his wife like absolute sh*t.
@@lissaw4 Oh FFS. After five MONTHS of shutting the fuck up about everything and being nothing but supportive he needed some goddamn *me* time. That doesn't make him a monster.
Bf : 'Hey, btw I don't want to get married ok?'
Op : 'Ok? Sure!'
Also Bf : 'oK gUyS sO i HaVe A bEaUtIfUl WiFe CaLlEd-'
RSlash: *gleefully reads stories about elaborate revenge schemes over cheating*
Also RSlash: Wow, don’t you think the cheater’s been punished enough??? Dating your cheating ex’s sibling is, like, totally not cool man. :/
Siigghhh. Sometimes I wonder why I still watch you RSlash.
For the school story a perfect revenge would’ve been to create short stories of the school and be extremely honest with names
The last one rules are rules if you let 1 child a tablet then all the others will expect to be able to bring their toys so she’s fine by sticking to her guns and rules that she made
I did daycare for 20+ years. My daycare, my rules. Didnt agree? Find another daycare.
Also, how is that mom gonna do that when the kid actually have to school and pay attention in class 'no I don't care if he can't spell his name, just give him the tablet if he wants it ugh' or 'it's your job to make him pay attention why don't you modernize and just let him do schoolwork on his tablet?'
The second story he wasn’t the asshole. I’ve dealt with so many close family deaths so I can say for certain that if someone is letting grief affect them that much before the person has even passed then they’re using it as an excuse. I’ve cared for relatives who were terminal and it’s exhausting but it’s far more exhausting taking care of the other family members coping and yes, you do need mental health breaks or risk breaking down yourself. Needing a mental health break doesn’t make him an asshole when he was dealing with it for six months while taking up their duties as well.
Self-care is not selfish.
Exactly, them saying he’s an asshole for needing a break for his sanity after six months is what’s assholish.
The wife is obviously suffering from depression. He should have gotten her help months ago. Taking a vacation for his birthday despite the possibility of the MiL dying isn't the asshole part - it's how he was treating his wife and her grief up to that point. Before he left, he should have made preparations for his wife in case the MiL died because the wife was already in such bad shape.
This seems logical to most but the problem is most of the time they refuse help and they actually get worse if you try and get them if. As I said I’ve been there, had close family die and saw other members break down and if I tried to help them or get them help they lashed out. Sometimes you just have to let them work through it and be there as best you can but with six months of “today is the day” you never know and at some point your own mental well-being must take priority.
damn this comment made me think. I used to take care of my great grandmother during summer vacation. Whenever i went up there i always gave mostly everyone a break from her and some problems they each had with her. A few times they were all greatful to take a break from caring for her. I mean my grandmother had disagreements with my great grandmother, so that must've took a toll on her mental health. So i guess its good that i came up there to relieve some stress of theirs. I was agreeing with everyone else. and i still do in certain ways that he is an asshole but not for caring for his own mental health.
The Ash and Pat story verdict has got to be the first time I've entirely disagreed with R/Slash on in a long while at LEAST.
Pat found another person he grew to love, Ash found one too. Who cares if he had dated the cheater sister. Let them be happy if that is what they decided they want.
And really, If grandparents are willing to watch kids then great, but they have lived long lives and deserve the option to just rest and enjoy their time without kids around when they want to. If they already agreed to watch them then sure but come on.
The only Butthole here is the cheater who is pushing her problems onto others. Maybe don't call her out on it so harshly but still, cheating and forcing your poor decisions onto others then not getting any blame is not okay.
The thing I agree with Rslash is that the parents should be supportive. The daughter needs counseling. She probably went down a downward spiral. I know it's her fault, but she still deserves help if she actually wants it. The parents should advise her to go to counseling or do something to advance her life. You know what I mean?
11:40
Personally I think Ash isn't a butthole here, because Liz screwed herself over and Ash also deserves to have a good life, and she didn't know he was with Liz before this, Ash deserves a happy life too, not to just lose the love of her life to appease her rude sister.
Last story: that husband would be singing a different toon if the ipad was allowed to stay and got broken or goes missing and Karen demanded THEY replace it out of their own pockets!
For Liz i have a saying from MY parents "you made your bed now you get to lie in it." You dont get to screw your life up and then act like the victim.
Exactly, she cheated and lost a great guy. Her sister owes her nothing in regards to that and pat has no obligation at all. Being dumped is not the end of cheating and that damage continues past the relationship and as such she is a butthole period
I did something similar my senior year of high school that the author did. I essentially wrote an essay about my hellish high school years, and although I didn't name names, people still figured out it was them. They pretty much ran crying to our drama teacher, saying that I was a bitch and, "How could I say these things about them?!" when all I was doing was saying what they'd done, and how I was impacted by it. It didn't matter; they were thin, popular, and attractive, so, of course I had to be the one to apologize, and they were considered not at fault. I hated high school, and although my ten year reunion is coming up, I will not put myself through seeing any of those people again, especially because one of them drove me to attempt suicide the summer after freshman year, and they stayed grouped around him like I didn't even matter.
I don't t go to my high school reunions. You have every right to protect your mental health.
Geez. I feel sorry for you. Fuck that school.
@@nogoat thank you! Yes I was so depressed that I was pretty much failing everything. I wanted to transfer schools and my dad told me I could if I passed everything. I literally couldn't because I'm math and science illiterate and my other teachers hated me...
I had bad teachers to in the past. Trust me OP. You did nothing wrong. I would do the same if given the chance
For the grief one, I would say that the guy is a little gauche, but from experience, it’s very hard to deal with someone who is constantly in a state of grief. My grandfather died a year ago, and my grandmother, who was already pessimistic before, entered a full blown depression. I started taking care of her, but trying to help someone as much as you can, for months, and having no success is hard. You try to tell her to go see a psychologist, she refuses, you ask her if she would try anti depressant ( she is 87, being addicted to them would not even reduce her quality of life) and she refuses, you try to take her out a bit and she refuses. And the few times you go out, she accuses you of forgetting about her, and how sad she is. Needing a break doesn’t mean that you don’t love her, but always staying with someone who is depressive is a slippery slope, because you might just become depressive and recluse as well.
So yeah, I don’t think he dealt with his grieving wife very well, instead of a big vacation, he should have taken a few evenings with friends, spaced out over the 5 months, but but I don’t think his feelings are any less valid.
Wife's Grief: This one I'm kind of mixed on, cuz yeah he was a big butthole here, but then again, as someone who has had to deal with something similar with an ex, I can say that it does get tiring after a while, and it takes a huge toll as well. While I was helping them get better, I myself was getting drained of almost all my free time and happy energy (idk how to quite explain it other than that). She got better in the end, but I couldn't handle the stress of trying to cheer up someone who was the closest thing to family I had, and I just went numb. She didn't like that and broke up with me, so that didn't make it any better.
What I'm trying to say is, he was fighting that battle with her, and on top of that, he was caring for both her and their daughter. Yeah she could've done it herself, but he was willing to do it, and that shows how much he cared about the family, worked and then cleaned and cooked for a 15yo teen and a 45yo woman going through a grieving process. Yeah its messed up that he left, but then again, not only was it for his birthday, but it was a break as well. yeah, his wife asked him to stay, and him still leaving is admittedly a butthole move on his end, but blaming him for the whole ordeal would be just ignorant.
He's a butthole and he's not a butthole, but I personally am leaning a bit towards the NTA side specifically because I know what it was like to be in his shoes.