I'm a woman, and I get so irritated when this topic is only addressed towards women. Guys obviously go through this as well, and it saddens me that nobody talks about their sides of the stories very often. :(
Are Men and Women Equally as Likely to Be Victims or Offenders? The National Family Violence Survey (NFVS) found nearly equal rates of assault (11-12 percent) by an intimate partner among both men and women. If so-called "minor" violence such as pushing and shoving is excluded, the rate is around 3 percent - more than twice the rate found in NVAWS. NIJ researchers have found, however, that collecting various types of counts from men and women does not yield an accurate understanding of battering and serious injury occurring from intimate partner violence. National surveys supported by NIJ, CDC, and BJS that examine more serious assaults do not support the conclusion of similar rates of male and female spousal assaults. These surveys are conducted within a safety or crime context and clearly find more partner abuse by men against women. For example, NVAWS found that women are significantly more likely than men to report being victims of intimate partner violence whether it is rape, physical assault, or stalking and whether the timeframe is the person's lifetime or the previous 12 months. NCVS found that about 85 percent of victimizations by intimate partners in 1998 were against women. The studies that find that women abuse men equally or even more than men abuse women are based on data compiled through the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS), a survey tool developed in the 1970s. CTS may not be appropriate for intimate partner violence research because it does not measure control, coercion, or the motives for conflict tactics; it also leaves out sexual assault and violence by ex-spouses or partners and does not determine who initiated the violence. ****A review of the research found that violence is instrumental in maintaining control and that more than 90 percent of "systematic, persistent, and injurious" violence is perpetrated by men.**** Resource: www.nij.gov/topics/crime/intimate-partner-violence/pages/measuring.aspx
Chilling. The most disturbing thing is the police would believe her. Yet men are afraid to speak out. People don't believe and usually tell the victim to "man up" in a mocking tone.
+Lloyd Franklin i dont believe in this but for me the men is more likely to be at fault and is yes for me personnaly of course but if woman do so for me its a form a love which woman do that with me .
@@jasonasdecker Yep. You are both right. I was told to suck it up. REAL men don't need help from an abuser. I was told to spent $10,000 and the lawyer would EVENTUALLY start getting judgements against her. Eventually. While I am replenishing it at $450 a hour.....or more. Another attorney told me, off the record, to hire a crack head to go "talk" to her. Stalking and harassing me since November 2009!
@@hidingposer3422actually you can get a restraining order against her besides she tries to hurt you or kidnap I pretty sure she will get caught for what she done
I was married for 14 years. She was extremely controlling and emotional/mentally abusive. I couldn't have any friends and had to cut off my family. She didn't even want me to work and be separated from her. She cheated on me and at times was physically abusive. I eventually left. Leaving was very hard. We have 2 kids. I filed for a divorce. That was 5 years ago, we are still not divorced. She accused me of molesting our children, to get the courts to stop visitation. The court always sided with her. I eventually had to give up. Still not divorced and I haven't seem my kids in years. The courts do nothing about women like this
WILLIAM, DON'T GIVE UP THAT EASILY! I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH AND IF YOU JUST GIVE UP THEN IT'S SAYING THAT IT'S TRUE AND YOU REALLY DID MOLEST YOUR CHILDREN. SHE WOULD HAVE TO COME UP WITH COLD HARD FACTS PICS, STATEMENTS FROM YOUR CHILDREN, OR VIDEO TO PROVE HER CASE. IF SHE'S GETTING THE KIDS TO SAY THAT IT'S TRUE THEN BRING THAT UP... THEY WILL LOOK INTO IT AND MAKE HER COME UP WITH MORE EVIDENCE. DON'T GIVE YOUR KIDS UP. YOU CAN GET THEM BACK... IT'S NOT OVER! GOOD LUCK! GO TO YOUR SOCIAL SERVICES REP AND TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON, TELL THEM THAT BECUASE SHE KEEPS DRAGGING YOU TO COURT YOU CAN'T AFFORD THE LAWYERS FEES AND SEE IF THEY CAN GET YOU A LAWYER FOR NOTHING OR PUT YOUR STORY OUT THERE AND A LAWYER WOULD REP YOU PRO BONO. DON'T LET HER WIN. As far as the abuse situation, I would say that there are women out there who abuse their husbands and get away with it, but most cases it is the man who's abusive. I say this coming from 2 abusive relationships and I'm a stout woman but didn't have a cold chance in hell to hitting him back... he was no bigger than me but somehow was as stout as a building when he drank, and that's when he'd hit me. I have pics of bruised face, swollen, and eye swelled shut... my daughter even witnessed it one night, and he still got joint custody... which I wasn't trying to keep him from the kids because I didn't want the kids to suffer for what he did to me, and he's never hit the kids, but I was sincerely concerned.... with that being said... when I brought up the abuse, he started saying that I was on drugs so he could take the kids to a different state which is where he's from. I had to do 6 months of drug testing and when it came up again, that wasn't good enough, said pee tests could be altered so then they took a chunk of my hair and it was ofcourse... NEGATIVE. When I requested he take one, they said I couldn't demand that because it would look like retaliation and so he got off from taking one. We currently live in 2 different states 6 hours away, he has joint custody and I got stuck driving 6 hours to his 2 because "I"M ON DRUGS>" SUPPOSEDLY. He had no evidence of me taking drugs and I had proof of him hitting, yet he still got away with it. HES A SCAM ARTIST! AND a professional at that! WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND... AND KARMA WILL GET HIM AND YOUR EX TOO! BE PATIENT!!
Dude, I'm really sorry for your situation. I hope it'll get better, and you'll get to see your kids. If you love them, and want for yourself to have a better life, don't give up just because of her lies and the court's biased views. Keep your hope up, it'll eventually turn better.
A friend sent me your video.. I have been married for the last 10 years and have been in this type a relationship... everything in your video I lived through for 5 years.. the torture and the abuse, when telling someone it tends to make them just laugh at you.. cause your man you should just take it.. I got fed up with and finally left.. here is hoping for a better life tomorrow.. thank you for opening my eyes.
@@pulsasfalta5195 Well some people obviously don't pluck up the courage to do anything because their abuser is manipulating into feeling small and week and they're loosing contact with people because of them not to mention they're constantly afraid to do anything and that's why it takes some people a long time to stop it. Also people (even police) normally don't believe the man and will think it was the other way round which is really horrible.
@@siborgproductions2422 All that you said means a guy is a pussy.If a woman started abusing me, I would kick her out off the house and threw her things out. And I wouldn't care if she called the police.
***** While you're right, you can just wait to let things happen how they should happen. You have to go out of your way and make sure that those things happen. Do nothing but thinking "I know things will get eventually better" makes nothing happen.
Namfon Kumsem Yeah just take the child with him. Like that is going to work this is based in the UK the mothers always have more rights to their child than the father, that's why Fathers4Justice was made. Dad's don't have enough rights over their children over here just to take them away. Educate yourself before commenting such bullcrap. Also, you do realise you're victim blaming in the other comments and that is just wrong. Pretty much what you're saying could be used in any type of scenario. " Oh, they got raped because they were wearing 'inappropriate' clothing." It was not his fault he stayed, like it isn't a woman's fault when she stays, because the abuser uses manipulative techniques like "Nobody will believe you." or they'll make you hate your family and friends so therefore when you try and leave you feel like you have nowhere to go because "They all hate you!". Domestic abuse isn't just about the physical abuse it is also about the emotional and mental abuse too. They make you feel like crap and bring you down to the lowest level they make you lose all your family and friends, maybe even make you move counties/states or even countries before laying a single finger on you. Now go and educate yourself on domestic abuse then come back and comment. Ignorant people these days :/.
You know it's weird. When women are abused, someone helps immediately , but when a man is abused people sit around and don't do shit. Either way it's abuse and against the law. If it's a woman or man being abused, it's still abuse and should be handled by the police. #violenceisviolence
I actually had the cops show up one time. Asked me why I was bleeding. She had brought blood. Didn't take her to jail. I begged them several times to take her to jail. Nope. If they even thought there was a mark on her guess where I would have been?
Unfortunately I had to my whole life, my Grandma and Mom used to control and threaten me all the time, and then when video games became a thing they just bought me some and made me stay in my room
@@ChandlerGaming205 that's very sad. I was raised by a single mother, but I can't thank her enough for all the sacrifices she'd done for me. She was my bread and butter and my mom and dad from infancy unto adulthood. I love my mother so much. If I would be given a thousand options to choose a mother, I'll always pick her over and over again. I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Hugs. You can do it.
Geo Gabri feel like my life wouldve been so much easier if my parents had gotten divorced. Stigma against divorce, but divorce can be a really good thing for the kids.
well my hat is off to u sir, even thou I don't wear hats, haha, but I'd love ur piece and if I was in that film, I'd be happy to play ur new gf and help take care of the baby with u, and make sure u never ever get hurt, well ur character
atte fuck you this is about violence against men because believe it or not men go through it and women don't a fucking right to hit men period not everything should be about women bitch
This is truly a masterpiece. At the beginning, you see an act of abuse, something that lets you into Lee's world. That moment is enough to shock you and show what his fear is like. And then.. for the next 5 minutes Carla is very nice to him, but the first moment of abuse has already told you what she is really like, and every moment with her gives you a sense of dread, like you don't know when she will hurt you again. It is the same dread that Lee feels, and you can see it in his face, hear it in the voice, feel it in his posture. The dread builds up, and at the moment when Lee can't hold himself together anymore, Carla places the final nail in the coffin. She reminds him that no one will help him, because no one will believe him. He is her perfect victim, one who suffering can not end. And to make sure he stays that way, she places the terror upon him, telling him he is the monster who deserves her abuse. Nothing is scarier for a man than to be stripped of everything you have, only to have even more demanded from you. This video perfectly captures that fear. Amazing work.
I am an abused military men. I was married to an abusive woman for near 19 yrs. Once I came forward and reported to the Air Force and then filed for divorce, I received little assistance. The judge refused to grant me full custody of my kids even though the Air For did an investigation and a a board met and agreed she abused me. The judge also awarded my abusive spouse 50% of my military retirement up to before she had an affair she also admitted to in 2011. No justice was served in the divorce. I am further abused by being forced to give my abusive ex wife half my retirement, from a time when she never supported me but instead abused me, controlled all the finances, made me ask for an allowance from my own money, withheld sex for months at a time, force me to have sex when I didnt want to, let her impulse shop us into 50K of debt twice, abandon my parents for 9 years and choose her, same for many of my friends, called me many of the worst names imaginable, black eye, tore my neck up, insulted, belittled me and cursed me and punched me and hit and threw things at me in front of my kids while screaming at me. and so much more. I developed PTSD and depression as a result of that marriage. My libido is nill. These issues seriously affect my new marriage. No consequences for my ex wife. Such is the life of a male military member. I am actively trying to get the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act Amended to protect abused Women and Men that are military members from being forced to give ex spouses that committed adultery or abused them ANY of their military pension. Twitter @ENLISTER or FACEBOOK @ Kenneth Hawley (Enlister)
A dreadful experience. I fully sympathise with you. I live in the UK and although I was never in the Forces, but what you describe just stinks. It goes on here too. I was abused by a woman for 25 years. She destroyed me and broke me in two. I was sent a list of Therapists to go and get help, none of which I could afford. Apart from that my doctor put me on anti depressants. That was it.
Women who abuse men are the worst! We've fought tooth and nail for our rights, to be believed when we make accusations, and for every woman that pulls this shit it takes away that progress and reinforces outdated beliefs that a man is "weak" if he's being abused. Men need support as well.
+LegoSwordViedos We shouldn't make men go up to such high standards to be strong. Men have feelings too and this happens without being glorified and is typically ignored by the law. What you always hear is a lie.
I just got out of my abusive relationship of 9 years. It was the hardest thing i have ever done. The constant fear and stress. It happens so gradually. Its hard to pinpoint THE moment in an ocean full of them. I am confused and cry uncontrollably. I am lost and i am still trying to understand it. One thing i do know is that every day that goes by i feel a little more confident and stronger. I am realizing that i was under a rock all those years and out of touch with media and other people. But at least im free. One moment at a time now. Eventually i will have enough courage to do things by myself. Its hard to explain. Great video though. Made me bawl like a baby. Maybe PTSD but im no expert. Thanks for sharing.
I got abused for more than 2 years, my wife used to beat me up so badly that i ended up in hospital at least twice with broken jaw and teeth, the beatings often happened in front of our little daughter. When i finally reported her she claimed that i was the abuser and she just pushed me away in self defense and i fell, and that's how i got my injuries, they didn't believe her but all she got as a punishment was a restraining order.
Smoke Mortal I get where you're coming from, but women thrive on attention and even fighting them is giving them lots of attention. Rejection is a lot more painful to them and then it's a lot harder for them to use the police against you.
The woman isn't the main problem, the government is. Lawyers make huge money from divorce and nothing from intact relationships, so the law is always going to look for angles to break up marriages. Women look like the winners initially, but they are dupes of a corrupt legal system that ultimately destroys them also.
This made me ball. I dont feel a need to share with my close friends or anyone on any other social media sight. I just exited an abusive relationship, me being the guy being abused by the girl. As i man i swore never to strike a girl, so when my "lover" was kicking me on the ground, i felt helpless and alone. Struggle with confidence issues now and am so afraid of being with another person because of the chance they will do the same thing, This type of shit effects us a lot. Its hard to talk about it with people because it is embarrassing and emasculating to say the least. To anyone who has been or is in a similar situation, leave that girl, or guy or whatever and start repairing yourself before another relationship, therapy is a strong consideration as well.
It's been 5 years, so wonder if you're still alive and kicking guy - I hope so. It's disturbing how many guys are taught you never hit a woman - no matter what a woman might do then, they're guaranteed to never face a comeback if they're violent, under this. You don't hit other people, period - except in war, martial arts, boxing or the like. If somebody takes issue with that, the first time they do it is the last time you're with them. Always the way to go.
Thanks to the both of you. Im still alive, and have learned a lot since this post. I've grown up a lot and am in a much better place now. Thank you for the kind words
I once heard a guy talk about his ex-wife who used to beat the crap out of him (when they were married). One night when she was beating him with a golf club it got so loud a neighbor called the police. When they showed up though it was his wife who was shown concern & care and even offered information about domestic abuse. The officer even offered to take *her* to a shelter. This lie that *“there’s never an excuse for hitting a woman”* isn’t just wrong it’s dangerous. My own mother (who’s first husband abused her) taught me from a young age to always be a gentleman but if a woman ever attacked me to fight back. One day in school a girl was bullying me & picking on me & hit me hard. I slapped her in the face (in self defense) and *I* was the one who the teacher punished. My mother called my teacher up & told her that I had every right to defend myself. Along with teaching them to respect women we have to stop teaching that “never hit a girl” nonsense to boys & young men. Defending yourself (or someone else) is a good thing. 👏🏻
This so true in the USA the police always blame the man, I was beaten down good one time I hit her back 1 time knocking her into the wall, they arrested me! My body covered in scrapes, bruises, cuts 2 black eyes and even finger marks from her tossing me into the counter. See I am disabled and I have never walked well, she gave me a beat down, took my cane and knocked me down several times.She threatened to take our son, hell she even threatened to kill him, she held a knife to his throat when he was 2 years old all in that night I went to jail. Like a fool I loved her I went back, but I did one thing that proved my abuse! I hid our 8 mm video recorder in the living room one morning I knew I was going to work over time.That always set her off I worked 14 hours at times to support the 3 kids and her yet she got pissed I had to work so much? Well the little remote was in my pocket and I hit record when she went off, this time she gave a me hell of a beat down, threatened to bash our sons head with a hammer! She then grabbed me by the throat choking me as I was already having a Asthma attack, tossed my inhaler at the wall all the while laughing telling I was F ing going to jail again ha ha ha! As I started to black out I took the hammer from her and hit her in the jaw. As the Cops busted in the door, seeing her on top me, but again she played as I attacked her and once again they were puling out the cuffs the officer even said you know deal turn around! I yelled for my inhaler and a Sargent,I told them I was going to sue them for wrongful arrest! They asked how is that son, I calmly replied watch the video and tell me who you are going to arrest? As they were putting her in the Ambulance a female officer informed her she was under arrest for Felony; Domestic Violence, Child endangerment, assault with a deadly weapon, making threats against a child's life, the list went on! With her severely broken jaw and many missing teeth she tried to yell it was all LIES I was lying I was an ABUSIVE MOTHER...... and you know the rest then they informed her it was all caught on video she then said no way it was FAKE??? REALLY woman?? Then I got tons of State Help for VICTIMS of VIOLENT CRIMES, VICTIMS of DOMESTIC VIOLENT CRIMES! Being a fist offender they dropped a lot of charges and let her plead out others she basically got a walk, now they dropped my charges with the courts most deepest apologies, wow really? Now she lost Custody of the kids had to go to therapy for years as part of her deal, she then beat her boyfriend and went to Prison for a stint! Years after she got out I had to get a Restraining Order against her and I got a Concealed Weapons Permit and took my GUN, MY PHONE and CAMERA EVERYWHERE. In the end most people do not believe my "TALL TALE" I WISH it was a TALL TALE that would make this PTSD NOT REAL EITHER, worst of all we had a child together so I can not get my ABUSER out of my LIFE completely....she has reformed now....found GOD....but her face strikes fear in me today even 18 years later, I kid you not! In the USA 49% of Domestic Violence is committed against MEN! THINK ABOUT IT ....... NO JOKE LOOK IT UP!
Jarrett Geyer Lord, if that isn't awful. I'm just thankful she reformed... a lot of abusive people return for revenge after escaping/leaving prison or charges. I hope you're all doing okay.
I hate people, I really do. I went to a group once for folks who'd been the victims of domestic violence, and in the few weeks I attended I saw three different men get told that they couldn't attend this gender-neutral group because the women would be uncomfortable. Most of the women there were man-hating uber-bitches who insisted turning lesbian was the only appropriate response and jokes about making their current (non abusive) male partners pay for the crimes of their previous (abusive) ones was the way forward. I have dated women who have been raped and beaten by men. I've also dated men who've been raped and beaten by women. It's just as sick whichever way it happens, but societies willingness to accept it, even laugh at, when it happens to a man is disgusting.
Everyone is always all for emotional support when the woman is the one being abused, but nobody bats an eye when it’s the other way around. A sad and pathetic society we live in #justiceforjohnnydepp
The thing that makes me depressed is that INTERNATIONAL LAW does not consider violence against men. I feel fucking trapped! 😭 We have got to spread this message ASAP and stop violence against men otherwise I will go insane....
This is a real comment. I feel like I don't have to defend woman's experiences here (as you don't minimize woman's experience), but rather feel for yours. I have seen women abuse men. But fighting for your rights while belittling women (as many are), is not the way to do it. I hope you get what you need.
strontiumXnitrate Both genders. Both WOMEN and MEN SHOULD NOT be abused. Nobody deserves to be abused and both can hurt. There should be NO EXCEPTIONS to violence
Women have always been privleged while men were fighting wars and dying in coal mines the woman was sitting at home doing next to nothing. Women have actually convinced them selves that sitting at home all day is a job it's not they want house keeper slaves now to.
@@nunurbuisness5877first of all you have to not only men there also so many women also who work in modern times only men go to war and women too,apart from that there are lots of women Who do lots of professions so do you think And when it come womem they lots of women who balance profession and house hold work Do men do household works after coming fron work but what women do she will do that,give attetion kid And when it come house wives They are house wives who do gardering ,sewing So all housewives are not sitting at home by order servants to cook and clean She is enjoy her self at home and other thing is they lots of men Who don,t allow their wife to work, So rich people woman don,t work
This is a superb film! Very well planned out and really does highlight the issue of domestic violence towards men. My uncle Peter McBride was a victim of domestic violence. His girlfriend Sonia would beat him, shout at him, yell at him and blame everything on him, but he never hit back or spoke out about it. He was too ashamed and the issue of domestic violence towards men was never apparent back then so he never went to the police. It ended after she stabbed him in the heart with a kitchen knife. Justice was never done and never will be done. Thank you for creating such an amazing piece of work. Men need to know they are not alone
Domestic abuse against men is more common than domestic abuse against women, to a ratio of about 60/40. Sadly, most domestic abuse against men (physical and emotional) is not reported.
my nephew went through this useless social services are on her side in regards to the kids they also need to realise that women can be abusive too thankfully he's not with her now but she has the kids most of the time
Since most spousal abuse films focus on men being abusers but not women, I'm glad that AUB posted a video stating that women can be abusers as well. I was involved in an abusive relationship with my girlfriend from 1997-1998, and my girlfriend was the abuser. While there was no physical abuse, there was emotional abuse as she treated my like dirt and never professed love to me. I'm glad that I got out of it in June 1998. A month later, I got another girlfriend, and she treated me much better. Thank you, AUB.
Stella blue I'm a Humanitarian, because I like to help humans, Feminist the popular and majority of them only like to aid women, that's why I don't understand why don't they all just become Humanitarians if they want true equality for all humans.
I had an ex like her, controlling, manipulative, checking my phone, cutting me off from friends, telling me what I could and couldn’t wear and even came at me with a knife once.
The apathy of some people disgusts me, if it were a guy talking to his girlfriend like that you would all say what a piece of sh*t he is. Why should it considered be any less abusive just because a man is on the receiving end from a woman? Because anybody who thinks gender alone is such a big deal and makes one more weaker or stronger than the other is guilty of sexist thinking. ALL domestic violence and abuse victims are in need of support, it doesn't matter what genitals they have. There I said it.
Thanks man... Having gone through some of that (not the physical but the verbal and mental abuse mostly), I really appreciate it to see that people like you are trying to make a difference. Cheers
Lets keep this film rolling. The next day the husband comes home from a long day at work to find the child crying and the wife in bed with an old boyfriend that just happened to be in town that day. He calmly turns around and walks out of the apartment to take time to think but too embarrassed to talk to anyone about the abuse or that he just caught her cheating. The next day he comes home from a night of no sleep from worry and the cops are there to arrest him for domestic violence as she has a huge stove burn on her arm. He pleads for the safety of his child during the family court custody hearing, but the judge gives sole custody to the mother due the the domestic violence charge on his record and order to pay 30% of his pay before taxes and only allowed to visit his child once a month under supervision of a social worker for the next 10 years. His daughter comes to him one day during these so called Supervised visits and tell him that the boyfriend has been sexually assault her. He reports this to the Family court but because its seen as a away to manipulate the court order and with his history of domestic violence, its ignored. The daughter also states that both her mother and boyfriend are constantly fighting and sometime become physical towards each other and that she is afraid. She goes on to explain that there are time when the mother is so drunk that she cant even get up off the bathroom floor and has to lock herself in her bedroom in fear that the boyfriend might try something seeing the mother is no longer sober enough to protect her The daughter states that she wants to live with Dad, but Dad is afraid that if he brings these concerns up the the social worker, he will lose what little visitation rights he has and explains this to his daughter. This continues on for another year. Later the daughter commits suicide and it blames on the inability of the father to financially support the daughter and his abusive history toward the mother back 10 years ago and is backed by a criminal record. This is chalked up to abuse against women and new laws are put in place to protect these women and their children. Child Support laws are change to ensure more rights of mothers are enforced. At the end the mother feels so guilty thinking about what she should have done to save her daughter and ends up killing the boyfriend by stabbing him 87 times after a night of drinking and drugs. She claims self defense and is now living (we think) happily with her 4th husband. Unknown what has happened to the last 2.
I think this should be showen in secondary schools too many men are in abusive relation ships and are affraid to speak up due to that last part, and far to many women get away with it claming selfdefence.
Thank you posting this and writing this script. I am a female, yet I am always trying to spread awareness about female on male violence. Not enough people take it seriously. There should be no double standard when it comes to abuse.
+Daniel Wilkinson I was thinking the same thing. I think it is easy to say I would so do this in this situation or that in that situation. but things are different when you are actually in that situation.
Well done. I had to watch it twice. Men and women are different, but we're all human, and all capable of good and evil alike. Everyone needs to remember that.
Thanks for this video. Its great awareness, for something that rarely ever gets any. I'm most likely going to show this video in class once the Fall semester starts. On another note, when it comes to domestic violence against men, the male always seems to be in a lose-lose situation. If he hits back and defends himself, he is going to get in trouble. If he doesnt hit back and defend himself, he will continue to be bullied and the female would only become more violent feeling invincible. If he calls the police, the police will question him if he is the abusive partner. If they do arrest the female, he would most likely have a bad reputation from the public eye based off the standard that if women are abusive they are just defending themselves being strong and brave. If he reaches out to friends and family for help, they will most likely think he is lying. Society romanticizes domestic abuse against women, but when it comes to men being abused, there is always a way to defend the female and un-victimize the male. Its sad, but true. Sorry for ranting, I just hate the way the world is, and I felt comfortable due to everyone in the comment section having the same views as me. My advice, to all men in an abusive relationship, is to just leave. Have enough self-respect to do that. Dont let love or lust blind you from being in a toxic fearful relationship. Abusive people rarely ever change. Break-up with the person, but do it in a public place around trusted friends, so you have witnesses and protection. Well, I hope everyone who actually takes the time to read this has a good day!
Not to mention the humilation and embarrassment he may feel if people find out. He could be mocked and laughed at for letting a woman abuse him. It's an incredibly difficult situation for a man to find himself in, which is why this topic needs addressing more
You're on point. You see, this is EXACTLY what modern feminism has caused. Imagine if you're walking down the street and a woman starts physically and verbally bullying you. You defend yourself, but then, some freaking white knight comes to her defense. Of course, you, her and the dumbass white knight go jail. But the abusive woman ends up in jail for one day and you get four. Damned modern feminists and white knights. Something has to be done.
Patrick Nadro I would love to take one of your classes! You sound like you've got really good skills and insight on these sensitive topics that some teachers find hard to address. Thank you for helping change the conversation and shedding light on those who may need it most.
i lived like this and i was only 11-13 years old. three years i had this girlfriend, and she would always threaten to kill me, sometimes for no reason at all. she was so possessive and scary. but now i'm 15. it's been two years and i have a loving boyfriend who understands what i've been through. we need more resources for male victims of abuse, we exist.
It is very hard to watch this. I am a former victim of female abuse. I was with an abusive female for 8 years and didn't have the courage or the strength to leave. After she cheated on me three times, and attempted to kill me twice, I had the courage to walk out. I should have done it sooner. I am happy that somebody out there made this film. It shows that not all relationship abuse is done at the hands of men. I have now been single for 8 years. She is married and treats him the exact same way that she treated me. I am happier single than risking putting myself into a situation like this all over again.
A great short film though - I like the little things, like the way at 2:18 he shields his head like he expects her to hit him or the way when he comes in the first thing he wants to do is give the baby a cuddle - written by someone who gets abuse. Also, that look at 7:44 - "if you take her, I'll tell the police you've been hurting me" followed by his very battered face giving her this look of "seriously?"
Daniel Wilkinson thanks for sharing your video. Your right men get abused too. I stayed in a battered woman's shelter and was baffled when the domestic violence advocate confessed and bragged about beating on her boyfriend. I was in shock. She put my safety in jeopardy and when I informed the director she was investigated and then fired. Abuse is abuse whether it's a man or woman. It is not ok.
My wife straight up tried to kill me. She took a cleaver to my face and forearm and then doused me in lighter fluid before trying to set me on fire. I was labeled by Judge Tarah Toohil (herself, a famous victim of domestic violence) as "involved in a domestic dispute," and "I exposed my child to domestic violence." I was an unwitting victim to a schizophrenic break that my wife was having. The court did not even look at her intensive inpatient psychiatric history, but instead ordered my Veteran's Affairs medical records. My confidential discussions with therapists were then used against me in court to label me as violent and defame me. My wife gets to see our daughter, it has been over three years since the attack and Judge Toohil will not let me speak to my daughter on the phone.
+john john sanchez Feminist here. I have loads of compassion for male victims of abuse, and I agree that it is an overlooked problem. It's disgusting that male victims are laughed at or not believed, or told to man-up. It is unfortunate that your dealings with feminists make you think that we wouldn't care about this, but I do and I know loads of feminists who do as well.
+Flora Blake If you're a feminist, I seriously doubt you have honest capacity for compassion or sincere empathy for men or men's suffering. I'm a man who save the lives of five women from a burning house, sustaining injuries in the process, yet all I hear from feminist is how evil and psychopathic men are. I've never heard a feminist mention male accomplishment or achievement, just fault and flaw they never attribute equally to themselves. It's so strange that feminist always claim to know those magical "other" feminists no one else can encounter that supposedly care about male victims of abuse by women. They must be busy making videos about male victims of abuse that's released on a channel know one but them knows about in one of the unassessable feminist dimensions.
+john john sanchez They'd never watch it, and if they did all they'd do is mock and deride the man after they've blamed him for not being more supportive of his evil wife. In other words, no feminist will ever give a damn about what women can do to make a man's life a living hell.
I think this classifies as bonafide nightmare fuel for couples because it even tugged at my heartstrings a lot. Absolutely brilliant acting, and brilliant storyplay. You did a fantastic job man!
I am so happy this exists. There is not enough awareness about this topic and I think you were very courageous to do this. As a liberal, I believe that everyone is equal, and we should definitely fight for equal rights. But equality is not giving more rights to the victim. It's giving the victim and abuser equal rights.
This is the first time I saw a domestic violence short film where the man is the victim and the woman is the abuser. See guys not just Men can't be abusers Women can be just as bad, but the problem is nobody talks about it
I love how well this draws attention to the massive double standard as far as abuse goes. A guy could beat hit a woman once in the entire relationship and be full of regret for what he did and be genuinely sorry and called a wife-beater, but a woman could beat a man senseless- emotionally or physically- and she'd get away with it because she's a woman. I hate it. Women abuse men and men abuse women; it goes both ways. I have seen grown women try and tell me that the relationship portrayed in this short film isn't possible because- and I quote- "Only men abuse people". Kudos to you for making a brilliant short film, and kudos to everyone else involved because this is easily one of the best short films I've seen in a while.
Went through that from 1997-2007, then again with someone else from 2016-2018. I've never hit a woman and never will, but I think they took advantage of that. I've only had to go to the er once for a cracked rib because of it. I lied and told the doctor that I rolled out of bed and hit my nightstand. That was the first excuse I could think of, but the doctor knew I was lying. She was there with me and they took her out of the room to talk to me privately, explaining that they can help me. I stuck with that bad lie and stuck with that story. The worst was when they cut or bruised my face because I couldn't cover it up. I always used the excuse that I fell down. Brings tears to my eyes writing this and remembering it all. NO ONE should ever hit other person! I've been single ever since the last one and I'm not sure if I could ever date again. Best advice I can give is if someone is abusing you is to get out of that relationship the first time they hit you. It will only get worse.
I appreciate the existence of this film. Not many people acknowledge/know/care about the fact that abuse can be directed towards men as well. And a lot of those who do tell them to “be a man” in a mocking tone or try to minimise it by using statistics as a comparison. (Statistics show that abuse is directed towards 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 7 men.) When people use this comparison I say to them: “That means nothing. Abuse is abuse. What the heck are you talking about?” What’s even sadder is that women receive less punishment than men if proven guilty of abuse. It’s sickening.
When I saw the guy almost start crying when she broke the plate it broke my heart. Cause it reminded me that men are made to be sensitive and often aren't allowed to show that. And it also made me think, he was probably once in love with this woman.
Yikes, this film captured something horrifically accurate. For those who don't understand why he doesn't "defend himself" it's because abusers are KEENLY aware that all she has to do is tell the police that he hit her and he'll be crucified. Abusers get away with it, partly because society enables them. If you are currently living in this situation, tired of the abuse, screaming, slamming things, physical tempers, GET OUT NOW! You don't deserve to be treated like this.
I think the message you are conveying with this film is very important and needs to be said. What scares me is that there are very little resources for men who are victims of abuse. I am an artist working on a series pertaining to this topic and I found your film useful for my research.
My life for about 8 or 9 years. I never knew what a new day would bring. Her happy, sad, mad, suicidal, who knows. I was always yelled at, I was always wrong, and everything was always my fault.
I find this very sad. There might not be as much men getting abused as women but I think it is horrible how our culture has pushed it under the rug. Why can't people care about everyone equality? Instead men in these horrible situation are laughed at and called pusses. Other people on this comment page went as far to say the man in this video was at fault for the abuse and that's what I find crazy about this double standard. I believe we should have help for these men like a shelter they can go for help, but sadly these are for only women and children. Why can't we just help everyone and stop pretending this is only a crime against women.
Daniel Wilkinson Thank you. I've been trying to raise awareness of men's issues here at the university I'm attending, and domestic violence by women against men is one of the issues that need to be addressed, one of the issues on a very long list of issues that I've been researching. Keep up the good work. You're opening more peoples' eyes every day!
Timothy Roughton Yeah, no kidding. This is especially true with the female abuser takes advantage of formal weapons, or impromptu weapons to abuse the man. For example, if a woman uses a baseball bat against the man, which is actually pretty common for female abusers, the damage is increased by a ridiculous amount. Knives can have a similar effect, except that instead of blunt force trauma and possible concussions, the primary damage is sliced skin, blood vessels, and resultant blood loss, or stabbing wounds. Men can do this kind of thing, but women use weapons in domestic abuse far more often than men do, in order to increase the damage power by compensating for difference in body strength that on average exists between men and women.
Trahvagen I don't think it matters what either side use both have to stop, the problem is it comes down to a he said she said, and it is really hard for law enforcement to actually get to the truth (which is why us men don't speak!). There are worse weapons they use than just knifes and baseball bats, the emotional abuse can mess up a man for the rest of his life then again so does the physical abuse too, myself nailed on both counts. (Japan) In my case I tried to walk/run away from her abuse so many times even spending time under a bridge alone, this was 2 years ago and I'm still suffering I even got on a plane back to Japan last year with goal in mind of ending my life there, unfortunately certain events happened when I was there that prevented that attempt, the worst thing is I have photographic evidence of the abuse but do you think the police in Japan will give me the time of day? no, in some countries its worse. Anyway the long and short of it is I don't trust anyone anymore, and isolate myself to myself in my room just waiting for that blissful day when my life finally ends.
Timothy Roughton Whoever wants to die, does indeed die. Don't get me wrong, I believe you 100%, I am just saying that since you are still alive, there is something in you that hasn't give up just yet. Capitalize on that if you can. That hope that clings to you may be the way out.
Great video -- most especially about the mind games, which is not often depicted in videos like this. The kind of occasional tenderness and kind kisses combined with abusive behavior. Totally controlling and manipulative. Very well done.
You'll be very surprised how many men that has been abused. Unfortunately, a lot of men are afraid to seek some help, because they don't want to be looked at as punks.
This shit burns me up because if a man hits a woman, he's labeled a woman beater, but if it's the other way around, it's a sign of "love". When men are victims of abuse, they're de-victimized and told to "man up". Yeah "man up", as in "suffer in silence". I FUCKING HATE THAT SHIT!!!
It's sad that domestic violence against men is never talked about men are been told to grow up when they're abused and this led me to become a men's rights activist so that men can have justice against female abusers. Thanks for the video
i hate when people claim to be femanist but only support women a femanist should be someone who belives in equal rights for all genders men should be included
Horrific, I have been there and lived with a violent wife, for 18.5years I stayed to protect my son, but in the end it made me very ill ,and 8 yrs on it still affects my every day, I am newly married but it is looking like a similar situation but if it can't be fixed then I will leave, if a man is going through this ,my advice is find the strength to leave for your own health, it's very hard at first but you will begin to recover and find yourself again and learn to laugh again, be strong you have a future after you close the door on abuse 👍
Thank you for making this. It is horrible how people doesn't take man who are victim of this hell iseriously like a woman who is a victim of domestic abuse. A good and evil nature is not define buy gender. And these woman who will abuse her boyfriend/husband and use the gender to her advantage are disgusting. Men deserve the same help as women. Abuse is wrong, for both men and women.
I love how the abuser in this film is portrayed as at times being overly doting and seemingly loving of the victim, and at other times extremely cruel. That's how abusive relationships, regardless of the gender of the abuser or victim, perpetuate - the victim always thinks "things will get better" while the abuser manipulates them like a marionette. My cousin was a victim of partner abuse - though she never got physically violent with him, she was extremely emotionally abusive and deadass faked a pregnancy to try to get him to stay. He still has PTSD from his experiences with her while she continues to stalk him (when he moved to another state, she followed him). I'm glad he seems to be over the worst of it now.
I think the hardest part about this kind of situation, and the thing that I rarely see people actually touch on, however this video displays quite well is how two faced these women can be and that's why men can't just walk away. They love the women when their nice and sweet and caring, and thats why they can't just walk away when theyre not.
The most scary part of being a man specially big and tough is the fact that women can make a monster out of you easily telling all of the people close to them what kind of tyrant you are while you are overthinking about how to fix this
Best decision I ever made was to leave a relationship that had fallen into a cycle of emotional abuse - she isolated me from my friends, belittled me in front of my family, screamed abuse at me, shut me out. It wasn't out of my control, but you can feel so unable to act for the fear of what might happen. One day, I just said it was over and walked away. I've now been married for 10 years to my soul mate and realise what true love and a partnership is.
Believe it or not this does indeed happen to Good Men who simply refuse to beat up a Woman, .No matter how poorly, and mistreated he may treated. These Men are Not wimpy Men, or weak, these men are not sissies, they simply respect Women, and Would NEVER hurt a Woman. Women that abuse men this way take advantage of the men, these men will NEVER attempt to harm a woman. Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man. Author Advocate for Humanity, Jason Sandifer, Michigan, 10/24/2021
As a woman, let me tell you: these things happen. Abusers are not men or women, they come with different faces, as do victims. Please, don’t ignore people when they confide in you enough to express a doubt about their SO or tell you what happens between them. Also, be very careful and if someone treats you badly ONCE, leave. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. They usually don’t change and it’s not worth it to stick around to make sure.
We don't need you "as a woman" to tell us men matter too, just say your piece without bringing up the fact you're a woman, it implies that men need your approval!
I've posted your comment on my video where you provided a link to this. Sincerely hope people see it, although--as others have said below--it was _very_ difficult to watch. Thanks for sharing your work with everyone....
I went thru 16yrs of marriage of domestic abuse. Emotionally, mentally and physical abuse. When I said I had enough an wanted to end my marriage, I got put in jail and then thru hell to get away from her. I still get harassed by her to this day. I just mind my own business and leave my kids alone so I don’t give her my address or phone number. So it’s been a long road to get better and now I get on with life. God bless
I'm a woman, and I get so irritated when this topic is only addressed towards women. Guys obviously go through this as well, and it saddens me that nobody talks about their sides of the stories very often. :(
Nobody of any gender deserves a painful relationship such as this. I agree with you.
+The Ironwing Kaiser same here. the way I look at it, abuse is abuse regardless of gender.
Davyd Teather Yes.
Are Men and Women Equally as Likely to Be Victims or Offenders?
The National Family Violence Survey (NFVS) found nearly equal rates of assault (11-12 percent) by an intimate partner among both men and women. If so-called "minor" violence such as pushing and shoving is excluded, the rate is around 3 percent - more than twice the rate found in NVAWS.
NIJ researchers have found, however, that collecting various types of counts from men and women does not yield an accurate understanding of battering and serious injury occurring from intimate partner violence. National surveys supported by NIJ, CDC, and BJS that examine more serious assaults do not support the conclusion of similar rates of male and female spousal assaults. These surveys are conducted within a safety or crime context and clearly find more partner abuse by men against women.
For example, NVAWS found that women are significantly more likely than men to report being victims of intimate partner violence whether it is rape, physical assault, or stalking and whether the timeframe is the person's lifetime or the previous 12 months. NCVS found that about 85 percent of victimizations by intimate partners in 1998 were against women.
The studies that find that women abuse men equally or even more than men abuse women are based on data compiled through the Conflict Tactics Scale (CTS), a survey tool developed in the 1970s. CTS may not be appropriate for intimate partner violence research because it does not measure control, coercion, or the motives for conflict tactics; it also leaves out sexual assault and violence by ex-spouses or partners and does not determine who initiated the violence.
****A review of the research found that violence is instrumental in maintaining control and that more than 90 percent of "systematic, persistent, and injurious" violence is perpetrated by men.****
Resource: www.nij.gov/topics/crime/intimate-partner-violence/pages/measuring.aspx
Just like the abuser to blame shift.
Chilling. The most disturbing thing is the police would believe her. Yet men are afraid to speak out. People don't believe and usually tell the victim to "man up" in a mocking tone.
+Lloyd Franklin
Agreed. :(
+Lloyd Franklin it must all time and even more it must be
***** men in that world is more dengerous to woman and are more agressive too that why
+Lloyd Franklin that why men it must more be punished and suffer more like hell in the world
+Lloyd Franklin i dont believe in this but for me the men is more likely to be at fault and is yes for me personnaly of course but if woman do so for me its a form a love which woman do that with me .
What really sucks is if that guy tries to reach out to a shelter they'll turn him away because he's not a woman. #violenceisviolence
And it is not just shelters but legal advice, counseling, and medical care are denied to male victims of domestic abuse.
@@jasonasdecker Yep. You are both right. I was told to suck it up. REAL men don't need help from an abuser. I was told to spent $10,000 and the lawyer would EVENTUALLY start getting judgements against her. Eventually. While I am replenishing it at $450 a hour.....or more. Another attorney told me, off the record, to hire a crack head to go "talk" to her. Stalking and harassing me since November 2009!
Not really
@@hidingposer3422actually you can get a restraining order against her besides she tries to hurt you or kidnap I pretty sure she will get caught for what she done
@@whatarethose6064 Really? In the US there is only 1 domestic shelter that takes men.
I was married for 14 years. She was extremely controlling and emotional/mentally abusive. I couldn't have any friends and had to cut off my family. She didn't even want me to work and be separated from her. She cheated on me and at times was physically abusive. I eventually left. Leaving was very hard. We have 2 kids. I filed for a divorce. That was 5 years ago, we are still not divorced. She accused me of molesting our children, to get the courts to stop visitation. The court always sided with her. I eventually had to give up. Still not divorced and I haven't seem my kids in years. The courts do nothing about women like this
dude thats really messed up. Best wishes man, nobody should have to go through that.
That is the last kind of relationship I want. The last thing I want to have in life is a controlling relationship.
WILLIAM, DON'T GIVE UP THAT EASILY! I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH AND IF YOU JUST GIVE UP THEN IT'S SAYING THAT IT'S TRUE AND YOU REALLY DID MOLEST YOUR CHILDREN. SHE WOULD HAVE TO COME UP WITH COLD HARD FACTS PICS, STATEMENTS FROM YOUR CHILDREN, OR VIDEO TO PROVE HER CASE. IF SHE'S GETTING THE KIDS TO SAY THAT IT'S TRUE THEN BRING THAT UP... THEY WILL LOOK INTO IT AND MAKE HER COME UP WITH MORE EVIDENCE. DON'T GIVE YOUR KIDS UP. YOU CAN GET THEM BACK... IT'S NOT OVER! GOOD LUCK! GO TO YOUR SOCIAL SERVICES REP AND TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON, TELL THEM THAT BECUASE SHE KEEPS DRAGGING YOU TO COURT YOU CAN'T AFFORD THE LAWYERS FEES AND SEE IF THEY CAN GET YOU A LAWYER FOR NOTHING OR PUT YOUR STORY OUT THERE AND A LAWYER WOULD REP YOU PRO BONO. DON'T LET HER WIN.
As far as the abuse situation, I would say that there are women out there who abuse their husbands and get away with it, but most cases it is the man who's abusive. I say this coming from 2 abusive relationships and I'm a stout woman but didn't have a cold chance in hell to hitting him back... he was no bigger than me but somehow was as stout as a building when he drank, and that's when he'd hit me. I have pics of bruised face, swollen, and eye swelled shut... my daughter even witnessed it one night, and he still got joint custody... which I wasn't trying to keep him from the kids because I didn't want the kids to suffer for what he did to me, and he's never hit the kids, but I was sincerely concerned.... with that being said... when I brought up the abuse, he started saying that I was on drugs so he could take the kids to a different state which is where he's from. I had to do 6 months of drug testing and when it came up again, that wasn't good enough, said pee tests could be altered so then they took a chunk of my hair and it was ofcourse... NEGATIVE. When I requested he take one, they said I couldn't demand that because it would look like retaliation and so he got off from taking one. We currently live in 2 different states 6 hours away, he has joint custody and I got stuck driving 6 hours to his 2 because "I"M ON DRUGS>" SUPPOSEDLY. He had no evidence of me taking drugs and I had proof of him hitting, yet he still got away with it. HES A SCAM ARTIST! AND a professional at that!
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND... AND KARMA WILL GET HIM AND YOUR EX TOO! BE PATIENT!!
Dude, I'm really sorry for your situation. I hope it'll get better, and you'll get to see your kids. If you love them, and want for yourself to have a better life, don't give up just because of her lies and the court's biased views. Keep your hope up, it'll eventually turn better.
fuck her up youre going to jail anyways so why not beat her up and go to jail instead of going to jail without doing anything?
A friend sent me your video.. I have been married for the last 10 years and have been in this type a relationship...
everything in your video I lived through for 5 years.. the torture and the abuse, when telling someone it tends to make them just laugh at you.. cause your man you should just take it..
I got fed up with and finally left.. here is hoping for a better life tomorrow..
thank you for opening my eyes.
how are you now?
Who's a little winy pussy, who's a little winy pussy.
@@pulsasfalta5195 That's not very nice man
@@pulsasfalta5195 Well some people obviously don't pluck up the courage to do anything because their abuser is manipulating into feeling small and week and they're loosing contact with people because of them not to mention they're constantly afraid to do anything and that's why it takes some people a long time to stop it.
Also people (even police) normally don't believe the man and will think it was the other way round which is really horrible.
@@siborgproductions2422 All that you said means a guy is a pussy.If a woman started abusing me, I would kick her out off the house and threw her things out. And I wouldn't care if she called the police.
If he reported her physical abuse, 10/10 chances he would be arrested and charged with felonies....
And that's why you wear a wire when she threatens you with hurting herself and reporting you for it.
*****
While you're right, you can just wait to let things happen how they should happen. You have to go out of your way and make sure that those things happen. Do nothing but thinking "I know things will get eventually better" makes nothing happen.
***** I don't think Namfon Kumsem understands your point and views. I can relate 100%. It's their world, and we just live in it...
Namfon Kumsem Yeah just take the child with him. Like that is going to work this is based in the UK the mothers always have more rights to their child than the father, that's why Fathers4Justice was made. Dad's don't have enough rights over their children over here just to take them away. Educate yourself before commenting such bullcrap. Also, you do realise you're victim blaming in the other comments and that is just wrong. Pretty much what you're saying could be used in any type of scenario. " Oh, they got raped because they were wearing 'inappropriate' clothing." It was not his fault he stayed, like it isn't a woman's fault when she stays, because the abuser uses manipulative techniques like "Nobody will believe you." or they'll make you hate your family and friends so therefore when you try and leave you feel like you have nowhere to go because "They all hate you!". Domestic abuse isn't just about the physical abuse it is also about the emotional and mental abuse too. They make you feel like crap and bring you down to the lowest level they make you lose all your family and friends, maybe even make you move counties/states or even countries before laying a single finger on you. Now go and educate yourself on domestic abuse then come back and comment. Ignorant people these days :/.
In a perfect world yes
You know it's weird. When women are abused, someone helps immediately , but when a man is abused people sit around and don't do shit. Either way it's abuse and against the law. If it's a woman or man being abused, it's still abuse and should be handled by the police. #violenceisviolence
***** next time slap her yourself and drag her facedown the pavement
@@8legged And get arrested.
@@jasonasdecker lol
@@jasonasdecker Worth the arrest bro
I actually had the cops show up one time. Asked me why I was bleeding. She had brought blood. Didn't take her to jail. I begged them several times to take her to jail. Nope. If they even thought there was a mark on her guess where I would have been?
This is wrong. No one, man of women, should have to live through this kind of psychological torture.
but the reality is that nobody gives a shit bout a man
@@9elementsofff806 yes
give story to media all media
Unfortunately I had to my whole life, my Grandma and Mom used to control and threaten me all the time, and then when video games became a thing they just bought me some and made me stay in my room
@@ChandlerGaming205 that's very sad. I was raised by a single mother, but I can't thank her enough for all the sacrifices she'd done for me. She was my bread and butter and my mom and dad from infancy unto adulthood. I love my mother so much. If I would be given a thousand options to choose a mother, I'll always pick her over and over again.
I'm sorry for what you've gone through. Hugs. You can do it.
This was my life for three years....
i feel you dude
+Guitar Lessons BobbyCrispy this has been my life for 10 years.. i feel you...
+Guitar Lessons BobbyCrispy how about nine years
Ringo 10 years as well :'(
Geo Gabri feel like my life wouldve been so much easier if my parents had gotten divorced. Stigma against divorce, but divorce can be a really good thing for the kids.
i'm so happy this film got views and love reading the comments.
thank you for the positive feedback.
did u write and direct this or just star in it?
Co wrote and acted
well my hat is off to u sir, even thou I don't wear hats, haha, but I'd love ur piece and if I was in that film, I'd be happy to play ur new gf and help take care of the baby with u, and make sure u never ever get hurt, well ur character
Daniel Wilkinson hi dan the man
very good film, takes up an important issue
Instead of telling men to "man up", tell them to "speak up"
Real women don't hit men.
KOMAL RK and real men don't hit women. Men in europe dont hit women where as in middle-east it is legal and fine.
atte fuck you this is about violence against men because believe it or not men go through it and women don't a fucking right to hit men period not everything should be about women bitch
Real people don't hurt people.
@@brainlet99 😊
@@alvaroalas1180 dude, at what point did i deny that men go through this. I don't think you listened to me at all.
This is truly a masterpiece. At the beginning, you see an act of abuse, something that lets you into Lee's world. That moment is enough to shock you and show what his fear is like.
And then.. for the next 5 minutes Carla is very nice to him, but the first moment of abuse has already told you what she is really like, and every moment with her gives you a sense of dread, like you don't know when she will hurt you again. It is the same dread that Lee feels, and you can see it in his face, hear it in the voice, feel it in his posture.
The dread builds up, and at the moment when Lee can't hold himself together anymore, Carla places the final nail in the coffin. She reminds him that no one will help him, because no one will believe him. He is her perfect victim, one who suffering can not end. And to make sure he stays that way, she places the terror upon him, telling him he is the monster who deserves her abuse.
Nothing is scarier for a man than to be stripped of everything you have, only to have even more demanded from you. This video perfectly captures that fear. Amazing work.
Couldn’t have said it better myself. I feel exactly the same way!
Best to record as much, often as possible so you have proof.
I am an abused military men. I was married to an abusive woman for near 19 yrs. Once I came forward and reported to the Air Force and then filed for divorce, I received little assistance. The judge refused to grant me full custody of my kids even though the Air For did an investigation and a a board met and agreed she abused me. The judge also awarded my abusive spouse 50% of my military retirement up to before she had an affair she also admitted to in 2011. No justice was served in the divorce. I am further abused by being forced to give my abusive ex wife half my retirement, from a time when she never supported me but instead abused me, controlled all the finances, made me ask for an allowance from my own money, withheld sex for months at a time, force me to have sex when I didnt want to, let her impulse shop us into 50K of debt twice, abandon my parents for 9 years and choose her, same for many of my friends, called me many of the worst names imaginable, black eye, tore my neck up, insulted, belittled me and cursed me and punched me and hit and threw things at me in front of my kids while screaming at me. and so much more. I developed PTSD and depression as a result of that marriage. My libido is nill. These issues seriously affect my new marriage. No consequences for my ex wife. Such is the life of a male military member. I am actively trying to get the Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act Amended to protect abused Women and Men that are military members from being forced to give ex spouses that committed adultery or abused them ANY of their military pension. Twitter @ENLISTER or FACEBOOK @ Kenneth Hawley (Enlister)
A dreadful experience. I fully sympathise with you. I live in the UK and although I was never in the Forces, but what you describe just stinks. It goes on here too. I was abused by a woman for 25 years. She destroyed me and broke me in two. I was sent a list of Therapists to go and get help, none of which I could afford. Apart from that my doctor put me on anti depressants.
That was it.
Women who abuse men are the worst! We've fought tooth and nail for our rights, to be believed when we make accusations, and for every woman that pulls this shit it takes away that progress and reinforces outdated beliefs that a man is "weak" if he's being abused. Men need support as well.
So it only upsets you because it makes women look bad? HUH!?
Women do not abuse men.
As a man that suffered this type of controlling abuse it makes me sick to see the comments here. Like it doesn't happen to men.
Maybe now they'll see our tears are real...
+Glorified Truth I thought strong confident men don't cry that's what I always hear.
+LegoSwordViedos We shouldn't make men go up to such high standards to be strong. Men have feelings too and this happens without being glorified and is typically ignored by the law. What you always hear is a lie.
+LegoSwordViedos Strong confident men DO cry imo
I just got out of my abusive relationship of 9 years. It was the hardest thing i have ever done. The constant fear and stress. It happens so gradually. Its hard to pinpoint THE moment in an ocean full of them. I am confused and cry uncontrollably. I am lost and i am still trying to understand it. One thing i do know is that every day that goes by i feel a little more confident and stronger. I am realizing that i was under a rock all those years and out of touch with media and other people. But at least im free. One moment at a time now. Eventually i will have enough courage to do things by myself. Its hard to explain. Great video though. Made me bawl like a baby. Maybe PTSD but im no expert. Thanks for sharing.
A woman who can hit like a man , can be hit like a man.
lmao , well that's right
😂😂😂😂
Knock their ass out
@@RoyMane No I'll knock her ass out
But people shouldn’t be hitting each other at all, should they? Violence is never the answer to anything.
i called the police on my girl for hitting me... the police never came
This is actually really sad I don't think anyone has the right to touch or treat anyone like this no matter the gender it needs to be made aware of
I'm sorry that happened?😭🤧
And if they had come, they would have arrested the male as only females are allowed to be victims
I got abused for more than 2 years, my wife used to beat me up so badly that i ended up in hospital at least twice with broken jaw and teeth, the beatings often happened in front of our little daughter. When i finally reported her she claimed that i was the abuser and she just pushed me away in self defense and i fell, and that's how i got my injuries, they didn't believe her but all she got as a punishment was a restraining order.
no name I would love to chat to you if ever possible. I respect you anonymity..
Hey, it’s been six years since you left this comment. I hope you’re doing better now and I hope you’re fully recovered.
this made me cry I swear I feel so bad for any man that has anything like this happen to them
I had a wife a lot like this. I refuse to even live in the same house with a woman anymore.
bruh I would beat the fuck out of her
Smoke Mortal I get where you're coming from, but women thrive on attention and even fighting them is giving them lots of attention. Rejection is a lot more painful to them and then it's a lot harder for them to use the police against you.
+johnnybgoode1950 many times the woman self harms and then tell the police that it's the man who did it.
Sekgo That's why refuse to live with a woman. The man is always guilty until proven innocent, and to hell with that.
The woman isn't the main problem, the government is. Lawyers make huge money from divorce and nothing from intact relationships, so the law is always going to look for angles to break up marriages. Women look like the winners initially, but they are dupes of a corrupt legal system that ultimately destroys them also.
This made me ball. I dont feel a need to share with my close friends or anyone on any other social media sight. I just exited an abusive relationship, me being the guy being abused by the girl. As i man i swore never to strike a girl, so when my "lover" was kicking me on the ground, i felt helpless and alone. Struggle with confidence issues now and am so afraid of being with another person because of the chance they will do the same thing, This type of shit effects us a lot. Its hard to talk about it with people because it is embarrassing and emasculating to say the least. To anyone who has been or is in a similar situation, leave that girl, or guy or whatever and start repairing yourself before another relationship, therapy is a strong consideration as well.
It's been 5 years, so wonder if you're still alive and kicking guy - I hope so. It's disturbing how many guys are taught you never hit a woman - no matter what a woman might do then, they're guaranteed to never face a comeback if they're violent, under this.
You don't hit other people, period - except in war, martial arts, boxing or the like. If somebody takes issue with that, the first time they do it is the last time you're with them. Always the way to go.
No one should inflict violence against another in a personal setting regardless of gender, physically or psychologically.
Thanks to the both of you. Im still alive, and have learned a lot since this post. I've grown up a lot and am in a much better place now. Thank you for the kind words
@@romangum1906 I’m glad you’re thankful. I’m glad you’re not falling for false narratives.
I once heard a guy talk about his ex-wife who used to beat the crap out of him (when they were married). One night when she was beating him with a golf club it got so loud a neighbor called the police. When they showed up though it was his wife who was shown concern & care and even offered information about domestic abuse. The officer even offered to take *her* to a shelter. This lie that *“there’s never an excuse for hitting a woman”* isn’t just wrong it’s dangerous. My own mother (who’s first husband abused her) taught me from a young age to always be a gentleman but if a woman ever attacked me to fight back. One day in school a girl was bullying me & picking on me & hit me hard. I slapped her in the face (in self defense) and *I* was the one who the teacher punished. My mother called my teacher up & told her that I had every right to defend myself. Along with teaching them to respect women we have to stop teaching that “never hit a girl” nonsense to boys & young men. Defending yourself (or someone else) is a good thing. 👏🏻
Well said 👍
I'm glad their showing the other side of DV. Women aren't the only victims like they make it out to be.
LifeIsNotorious True!!! 😊
Too little too late for the husbands that suffer, loose custody of their kids or commit suicide
The acting is honestly too good, it makes me not want to watch it because I feel like it's real. ;-;
Thankyou! - Please be assured that me and Nicola are good friends in real life! :)
I mean it is real for many of people
This so true in the USA the police always blame the man, I was beaten down good one time I hit her back 1 time knocking her into the wall, they arrested me! My body covered in scrapes, bruises, cuts 2 black eyes and even finger marks from her tossing me into the counter. See I am disabled and I have never walked well, she gave me a beat down, took my cane and knocked me down several times.She threatened to take our son, hell she even threatened to kill him, she held a knife to his throat when he was 2 years old all in that night I went to jail. Like a fool I loved her I went back, but I did one thing that proved my abuse! I hid our 8 mm video recorder in the living room one morning I knew I was going to work over time.That always set her off I worked 14 hours at times to support the 3 kids and her yet she got pissed I had to work so much? Well the little remote was in my pocket and I hit record when she went off, this time she gave a me hell of a beat down, threatened to bash our sons head with a hammer! She then grabbed me by the throat choking me as I was already having a Asthma attack, tossed my inhaler at the wall all the while laughing telling I was F ing going to jail again ha ha ha! As I started to black out I took the hammer from her and hit her in the jaw. As the Cops busted in the door, seeing her on top me, but again she played as I attacked her and once again they were puling out the cuffs the officer even said you know deal turn around! I yelled for my inhaler and a Sargent,I told them I was going to sue them for wrongful arrest! They asked how is that son, I calmly replied watch the video and tell me who you are going to arrest? As they were putting her in the Ambulance a female officer informed her she was under arrest for Felony; Domestic Violence, Child endangerment, assault with a deadly weapon, making threats against a child's life, the list went on! With her severely broken jaw and many missing teeth she tried to yell it was all LIES I was lying I was an ABUSIVE MOTHER...... and you know the rest then they informed her it was all caught on video she then said no way it was FAKE??? REALLY woman?? Then I got tons of State Help for VICTIMS of VIOLENT CRIMES, VICTIMS of DOMESTIC VIOLENT CRIMES! Being a fist offender they dropped a lot of charges and let her plead out others she basically got a walk, now they dropped my charges with the courts most deepest apologies, wow really? Now she lost Custody of the kids had to go to therapy for years as part of her deal, she then beat her boyfriend and went to Prison for a stint! Years after she got out I had to get a Restraining Order against her and I got a Concealed Weapons Permit and took my GUN, MY PHONE and CAMERA EVERYWHERE. In the end most people do not believe my "TALL TALE" I WISH it was a TALL TALE that would make this PTSD NOT REAL EITHER, worst of all we had a child together so I can not get my ABUSER out of my LIFE completely....she has reformed now....found GOD....but her face strikes fear in me today even 18 years later, I kid you not! In the USA 49% of Domestic Violence is committed against MEN! THINK ABOUT IT ....... NO JOKE LOOK IT UP!
Jarrett Geyer
Lord, if that isn't awful. I'm just thankful she reformed... a lot of abusive people return for revenge after escaping/leaving prison or charges. I hope you're all doing okay.
Jarrett Geyer omg hope ur ok
I wish woman couldn’t get away with things like this. 😞
I hope she's never come after you again
Woo! the police actually accepted your video as proof? They threatened to arrest me for an unlawful wiretap.
is it ok if i use this video on my petition to get more help for male victims of abuse?
Of course
Daniel Wilkinson Thank you. www.petitionbuzz.com/petitions/men-can-be-victims-too
I think that's an EXCELLENT idea ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please do a petition I will sign it
I hate people, I really do.
I went to a group once for folks who'd been the victims of domestic violence, and in the few weeks I attended I saw three different men get told that they couldn't attend this gender-neutral group because the women would be uncomfortable. Most of the women there were man-hating uber-bitches who insisted turning lesbian was the only appropriate response and jokes about making their current (non abusive) male partners pay for the crimes of their previous (abusive) ones was the way forward.
I have dated women who have been raped and beaten by men. I've also dated men who've been raped and beaten by women. It's just as sick whichever way it happens, but societies willingness to accept it, even laugh at, when it happens to a man is disgusting.
Umm are you gay or straight and are you male or female?
Im confused
@@gravynavy516 probably bi or pan
I am homophobic and transphobic. Also, I am an ANTI-LGBTQ. Is there any problem.
Hello, I am homophobic, transphobic, and ANTI-LGBTQ.
I am homophobic, transphobic, and ANTI-LGBTQ.
Everyone is always all for emotional support when the woman is the one being abused, but nobody bats an eye when it’s the other way around. A sad and pathetic society we live in
#justiceforjohnnydepp
The thing that makes me depressed is that INTERNATIONAL LAW does not consider violence against men. I feel fucking trapped! 😭
We have got to spread this message ASAP and stop violence against men otherwise I will go insane....
This is a real comment. I feel like I don't have to defend woman's experiences here (as you don't minimize woman's experience), but rather feel for yours.
I have seen women abuse men. But fighting for your rights while belittling women (as many are), is not the way to do it. I hope you get what you need.
strontiumXnitrate Women can do as much violence to men as to women
strontiumXnitrate Both genders. Both WOMEN and MEN SHOULD NOT be abused. Nobody deserves to be abused and both can hurt. There should be NO EXCEPTIONS to violence
Women have always been privleged while men were fighting wars and dying in coal mines the woman was sitting at home doing next to nothing. Women have actually convinced them selves that sitting at home all day is a job it's not they want house keeper slaves now to.
@@nunurbuisness5877first of all you have to not only men there also so many women also who work in modern times only men go to war and women too,apart from that there are lots of women
Who do lots of professions so do you think
And when it come womem they lots of women who balance profession and house hold work
Do men do household works after coming fron work but what women do she will do that,give attetion kid
And when it come house wives
They are house wives who do gardering ,sewing
So all housewives are not sitting at home by order servants to cook and clean
She is enjoy her self at home and other thing is they lots of men
Who don,t allow their wife to work,
So rich people woman don,t work
This is a superb film! Very well planned out and really does highlight the issue of domestic violence towards men. My uncle Peter McBride was a victim of domestic violence. His girlfriend Sonia would beat him, shout at him, yell at him and blame everything on him, but he never hit back or spoke out about it. He was too ashamed and the issue of domestic violence towards men was never apparent back then so he never went to the police. It ended after she stabbed him in the heart with a kitchen knife. Justice was never done and never will be done. Thank you for creating such an amazing piece of work. Men need to know they are not alone
Sad 😢 so sorry for your loss 😭
Domestic abuse against men is more common than domestic abuse against women, to a ratio of about 60/40. Sadly, most domestic abuse against men (physical and emotional) is not reported.
It’s quite actually the opposite.
my nephew went through this useless social services are on her side in regards to the kids they also need to realise that women can be abusive too thankfully he's not with her now but she has the kids most of the time
Since most spousal abuse films focus on men being abusers but not women, I'm glad that AUB posted a video stating that women can be abusers as well.
I was involved in an abusive relationship with my girlfriend from 1997-1998, and my girlfriend was the abuser. While there was no physical abuse, there was emotional abuse as she treated my like dirt and never professed love to me. I'm glad that I got out of it in June 1998.
A month later, I got another girlfriend, and she treated me much better.
Thank you, AUB.
Thank Feminists for making us blind to these types of violence.
you said it, man! feminism is a lobby. as any lobby, it is not about speaking the truth.
Stella blue I'm a Humanitarian, because I like to help humans, Feminist the popular and majority of them only like to aid women, that's why I don't understand why don't they all just become Humanitarians if they want true equality for all humans.
Richard Alcala not all feminists Don't blame the whole group
Right!
Ghost 3 Feminism is fucking crazy
I was this man for 10 years. If you’re seeing this and are the same place please find an escape.
I had an ex like her, controlling, manipulative, checking my phone, cutting me off from friends, telling me what I could and couldn’t wear and even came at me with a knife once.
You should kill the cat first 😂😂
The apathy of some people disgusts me, if it were a guy talking to his girlfriend like that you would all say what a piece of sh*t he is. Why should it considered be any less abusive just because a man is on the receiving end from a woman?
Because anybody who thinks gender alone is such a big deal and makes one more weaker or stronger than the other is guilty of sexist thinking.
ALL domestic violence and abuse victims are in need of support, it doesn't matter what genitals they have. There I said it.
Thanks man... Having gone through some of that (not the physical but the verbal and mental abuse mostly), I really appreciate it to see that people like you are trying to make a difference. Cheers
Lets keep this film rolling. The next day the husband comes home from a long day at work to find the child crying and the wife in bed with an old boyfriend that just happened to be in town that day. He calmly turns around and walks out of the apartment to take time to think but too embarrassed to talk to anyone about the abuse or that he just caught her cheating. The next day he comes home from a night of no sleep from worry and the cops are there to arrest him for domestic violence as she has a huge stove burn on her arm. He pleads for the safety of his child during the family court custody hearing, but the judge gives sole custody to the mother due the the domestic violence charge on his record and order to pay 30% of his pay before taxes and only allowed to visit his child once a month under supervision of a social worker for the next 10 years. His daughter comes to him one day during these so called Supervised visits and tell him that the boyfriend has been sexually assault her. He reports this to the Family court but because its seen as a away to manipulate the court order and with his history of domestic violence, its ignored. The daughter also states that both her mother and boyfriend are constantly fighting and sometime become physical towards each other and that she is afraid. She goes on to explain that there are time when the mother is so drunk that she cant even get up off the bathroom floor and has to lock herself in her bedroom in fear that the boyfriend might try something seeing the mother is no longer sober enough to protect her The daughter states that she wants to live with Dad, but Dad is afraid that if he brings these concerns up the the social worker, he will lose what little visitation rights he has and explains this to his daughter. This continues on for another year. Later the daughter commits suicide and it blames on the inability of the father to financially support the daughter and his abusive history toward the mother back 10 years ago and is backed by a criminal record. This is chalked up to abuse against women and new laws are put in place to protect these women and their children. Child Support laws are change to ensure more rights of mothers are enforced. At the end the mother feels so guilty thinking about what she should have done to save her daughter and ends up killing the boyfriend by stabbing him 87 times after a night of drinking and drugs. She claims self defense and is now living (we think) happily with her 4th husband. Unknown what has happened to the last 2.
+jimm bou Are you sure you aren't a writer for Games Workshop? That was unbelievably grimdark.
Now you know what men have to listen to by women. Thx for proving my point.
you couldn't have said it better
Oh duck that was horrifying.
Comtinuation: man beats the life out of womam
I think this should be showen in secondary schools too many men are in abusive relation ships and are affraid to speak up due to that last part, and far to many women get away with it claming selfdefence.
Thank you posting this and writing this script. I am a female, yet I am always trying to spread awareness about female on male violence. Not enough people take it seriously. There should be no double standard when it comes to abuse.
And feminists say: Just be a man and walk away 😠😠😠😠
im a guy and I would say it myself
if only it were that easy
I've never once seen a feminist say that.
+Daniel Wilkinson I was thinking the same thing. I think it is easy to say I would so do this in this situation or that in that situation. but things are different when you are actually in that situation.
Actually, feminists would approve of female on male abuse because the male deserved it for being a male.
Well done. I had to watch it twice. Men and women are different, but we're all human, and all capable of good and evil alike. Everyone needs to remember that.
My mother sadly used to be like that with my father... Very scary.
They were fighting in front of us and me and my sister couldn't really do much.
I'm glad to see this! People rarley talk about abuse towards men. Just because it's less common doesn't mean it's not an issue.
Thanks for this video. Its great awareness, for something that rarely ever gets any. I'm most likely going to show this video in class once the Fall semester starts.
On another note, when it comes to domestic violence against men, the male always seems to be in a lose-lose situation. If he hits back and defends himself, he is going to get in trouble. If he doesnt hit back and defend himself, he will continue to be bullied and the female would only become more violent feeling invincible. If he calls the police, the police will question him if he is the abusive partner. If they do arrest the female, he would most likely have a bad reputation from the public eye based off the standard that if women are abusive they are just defending themselves being strong and brave. If he reaches out to friends and family for help, they will most likely think he is lying.
Society romanticizes domestic abuse against women, but when it comes to men being abused, there is always a way to defend the female and un-victimize the male. Its sad, but true.
Sorry for ranting, I just hate the way the world is, and I felt comfortable due to everyone in the comment section having the same views as me.
My advice, to all men in an abusive relationship, is to just leave. Have enough self-respect to do that. Dont let love or lust blind you from being in a toxic fearful relationship. Abusive people rarely ever change. Break-up with the person, but do it in a public place around trusted friends, so you have witnesses and protection.
Well, I hope everyone who actually takes the time to read this has a good day!
Not to mention the humilation and embarrassment he may feel if people find out. He could be mocked and laughed at for letting a woman abuse him. It's an incredibly difficult situation for a man to find himself in, which is why this topic needs addressing more
Daniel Wilkinson yes, you're exactly right.
Yet again, thank you for this. This is very important to me in a lot of ways!
YOU'RE RIGHT! :-(
You're on point. You see, this is EXACTLY what modern feminism has caused. Imagine if you're walking down the street and a woman starts physically and verbally bullying you. You defend yourself, but then, some freaking white knight comes to her defense. Of course, you, her and the dumbass white knight go jail. But the abusive woman ends up in jail for one day and you get four.
Damned modern feminists and white knights. Something has to be done.
Patrick Nadro I would love to take one of your classes! You sound like you've got really good skills and insight on these sensitive topics that some teachers find hard to address. Thank you for helping change the conversation and shedding light on those who may need it most.
i lived like this and i was only 11-13 years old.
three years i had this girlfriend, and she would always threaten to kill me, sometimes for no reason at all.
she was so possessive and scary.
but now i'm 15. it's been two years and i have a loving boyfriend who understands what i've been through.
we need more resources for male victims of abuse, we exist.
It is very hard to watch this. I am a former victim of female abuse. I was with an abusive female for 8 years and didn't have the courage or the strength to leave. After she cheated on me three times, and attempted to kill me twice, I had the courage to walk out. I should have done it sooner. I am happy that somebody out there made this film. It shows that not all relationship abuse is done at the hands of men. I have now been single for 8 years. She is married and treats him the exact same way that she treated me. I am happier single than risking putting myself into a situation like this all over again.
Larry Williams I would love to chat to you if ever possible..
A great short film though - I like the little things, like the way at 2:18 he shields his head like he expects her to hit him or the way when he comes in the first thing he wants to do is give the baby a cuddle - written by someone who gets abuse.
Also, that look at 7:44 - "if you take her, I'll tell the police you've been hurting me" followed by his very battered face giving her this look of "seriously?"
Daniel Wilkinson thanks for sharing your video. Your right men get abused too. I stayed in a battered woman's shelter and was baffled when the domestic violence advocate confessed and bragged about beating on her boyfriend. I was in shock. She put my safety in jeopardy and when I informed the director she was investigated and then fired. Abuse is abuse whether it's a man or woman. It is not ok.
My wife straight up tried to kill me. She took a cleaver to my face and forearm and then doused me in lighter fluid before trying to set me on fire. I was labeled by Judge Tarah Toohil (herself, a famous victim of domestic violence) as "involved in a domestic dispute," and "I exposed my child to domestic violence." I was an unwitting victim to a schizophrenic break that my wife was having. The court did not even look at her intensive inpatient psychiatric history, but instead ordered my Veteran's Affairs medical records. My confidential discussions with therapists were then used against me in court to label me as violent and defame me. My wife gets to see our daughter, it has been over three years since the attack and Judge Toohil will not let me speak to my daughter on the phone.
WE SHOULD SHOW THIS TO FEMENISTS
+john john sanchez They won't care, they'll just say we've had it good for too long and now it's our turn to suffer
Well Then let's make a feminist convention for them then ALLAH AKBUAR 💣💥💥💥
+john john sanchez Feminist here. I have loads of compassion for male victims of abuse, and I agree that it is an overlooked problem. It's disgusting that male victims are laughed at or not believed, or told to man-up. It is unfortunate that your dealings with feminists make you think that we wouldn't care about this, but I do and I know loads of feminists who do as well.
+Flora Blake If you're a feminist, I seriously doubt you have honest capacity for compassion or sincere empathy for men or men's suffering. I'm a man who save the lives of five women from a burning house, sustaining injuries in the process, yet all I hear from feminist is how evil and psychopathic men are. I've never heard a feminist mention male accomplishment or achievement, just fault and flaw they never attribute equally to themselves. It's so strange that feminist always claim to know those magical "other" feminists no one else can encounter that supposedly care about male victims of abuse by women. They must be busy making videos about male victims of abuse that's released on a channel know one but them knows about in one of the unassessable feminist dimensions.
+john john sanchez They'd never watch it, and if they did all they'd do is mock and deride the man after they've blamed him for not being more supportive of his evil wife. In other words, no feminist will ever give a damn about what women can do to make a man's life a living hell.
I think this classifies as bonafide nightmare fuel for couples because it even tugged at my heartstrings a lot. Absolutely brilliant acting, and brilliant storyplay. You did a fantastic job man!
I am so happy this exists. There is not enough awareness about this topic and I think you were very courageous to do this. As a liberal, I believe that everyone is equal, and we should definitely fight for equal rights. But equality is not giving more rights to the victim. It's giving the victim and abuser equal rights.
This is the first time I saw a domestic violence short film where the man is the victim and the woman is the abuser. See guys not just Men can't be abusers Women can be just as bad, but the problem is nobody talks about it
I love how well this draws attention to the massive double standard as far as abuse goes. A guy could beat hit a woman once in the entire relationship and be full of regret for what he did and be genuinely sorry and called a wife-beater, but a woman could beat a man senseless- emotionally or physically- and she'd get away with it because she's a woman.
I hate it. Women abuse men and men abuse women; it goes both ways.
I have seen grown women try and tell me that the relationship portrayed in this short film isn't possible because- and I quote- "Only men abuse people".
Kudos to you for making a brilliant short film, and kudos to everyone else involved because this is easily one of the best short films I've seen in a while.
Went through that from 1997-2007, then again with someone else from 2016-2018. I've never hit a woman and never will, but I think they took advantage of that. I've only had to go to the er once for a cracked rib because of it. I lied and told the doctor that I rolled out of bed and hit my nightstand. That was the first excuse I could think of, but the doctor knew I was lying. She was there with me and they took her out of the room to talk to me privately, explaining that they can help me. I stuck with that bad lie and stuck with that story. The worst was when they cut or bruised my face because I couldn't cover it up. I always used the excuse that I fell down. Brings tears to my eyes writing this and remembering it all. NO ONE should ever hit other person! I've been single ever since the last one and I'm not sure if I could ever date again. Best advice I can give is if someone is abusing you is to get out of that relationship the first time they hit you. It will only get worse.
I appreciate the existence of this film. Not many people acknowledge/know/care about the fact that abuse can be directed towards men as well. And a lot of those who do tell them to “be a man” in a mocking tone or try to minimise it by using statistics as a comparison. (Statistics show that abuse is directed towards 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 7 men.) When people use this comparison I say to them: “That means nothing. Abuse is abuse. What the heck are you talking about?” What’s even sadder is that women receive less punishment than men if proven guilty of abuse. It’s sickening.
When I saw the guy almost start crying when she broke the plate it broke my heart. Cause it reminded me that men are made to be sensitive and often aren't allowed to show that. And it also made me think, he was probably once in love with this woman.
why would people dislike the video?
maybe they are disliking the subject matter. or hating the film in general haha
+Daniel Wilkinson maybe, I hope it's just the first one
+Daniel Wilkinson that was a great film 👍
rainbow those dislikes are from feminists cunts that hate videos that tell the truth about their idiotic minset
One word TRIGGERED
Wow that acting was spot on! So powerful and sad omg
Domestic violence can happen to anybody not just women. Nobody deserves to be abused and they should seek for help immediately.
Hurting women is worse than hurting men because men are stronger and meaner
The feminist society in our country does not see that women can be bad or even worse than men.
Just amazing and shocking how it actually does happen on both sides of the equation of a relationship. Your a great actor too!!
Yikes, this film captured something horrifically accurate. For those who don't understand why he doesn't "defend himself" it's because abusers are KEENLY aware that all she has to do is tell the police that he hit her and he'll be crucified. Abusers get away with it, partly because society enables them. If you are currently living in this situation, tired of the abuse, screaming, slamming things, physical tempers, GET OUT NOW! You don't deserve to be treated like this.
These men are silenced and forgotten.
Abuse is not okay whether it's against man or woman. It is wrong no matter which gender is the abuser and which gender is the victim.
I think the message you are conveying with this film is very important and needs to be said. What scares me is that there are very little resources for men who are victims of abuse. I am an artist working on a series pertaining to this topic and I found your film useful for my research.
My life for about 8 or 9 years. I never knew what a new day would bring. Her happy, sad, mad, suicidal, who knows. I was always yelled at, I was always wrong, and everything was always my fault.
I find this very sad. There might not be as much men getting abused as women but I think it is horrible how our culture has pushed it under the rug. Why can't people care about everyone equality? Instead men in these horrible situation are laughed at and called pusses. Other people on this comment page went as far to say the man in this video was at fault for the abuse and that's what I find crazy about this double standard. I believe we should have help for these men like a shelter they can go for help, but sadly these are for only women and children. Why can't we just help everyone and stop pretending this is only a crime against women.
In the UK its 52% male victims
+Ciaran Hogg even worse.
fuck, this is exactly what i am going through
zichao wang Call the police or leave if you can
zichao wang please call the police those who realy care about you will be there for you. Those who don't are as bad as her.
Better watch out. If she gets your phone and see a notification of this comment, she’ll hit you.
Zichao, spend time preparing your exit. If you can pay for counseling to rebuild your confidence that will help enormously
short film about domestic violence against mean #raisingawareness #violenceisviolence
Daniel Wilkinson Thank you. I've been trying to raise awareness of men's issues here at the university I'm attending, and domestic violence by women against men is one of the issues that need to be addressed, one of the issues on a very long list of issues that I've been researching. Keep up the good work. You're opening more peoples' eyes every day!
***** fairly tame to the real thing.
Timothy Roughton Yeah, no kidding. This is especially true with the female abuser takes advantage of formal weapons, or impromptu weapons to abuse the man. For example, if a woman uses a baseball bat against the man, which is actually pretty common for female abusers, the damage is increased by a ridiculous amount. Knives can have a similar effect, except that instead of blunt force trauma and possible concussions, the primary damage is sliced skin, blood vessels, and resultant blood loss, or stabbing wounds.
Men can do this kind of thing, but women use weapons in domestic abuse far more often than men do, in order to increase the damage power by compensating for difference in body strength that on average exists between men and women.
Trahvagen I don't think it matters what either side use both have to stop, the problem is it comes down to a he said she said, and it is really hard for law enforcement to actually get to the truth (which is why us men don't speak!). There are worse weapons they use than just knifes and baseball bats, the emotional abuse can mess up a man for the rest of his life then again so does the physical abuse too, myself nailed on both counts.
(Japan) In my case I tried to walk/run away from her abuse so many times even spending time under a bridge alone, this was 2 years ago and I'm still suffering I even got on a plane back to Japan last year with goal in mind of ending my life there, unfortunately certain events happened when I was there that prevented that attempt, the worst thing is I have photographic evidence of the abuse but do you think the police in Japan will give me the time of day? no, in some countries its worse.
Anyway the long and short of it is I don't trust anyone anymore, and isolate myself to myself in my room just waiting for that blissful day when my life finally ends.
Timothy Roughton Whoever wants to die, does indeed die. Don't get me wrong, I believe you 100%, I am just saying that since you are still alive, there is something in you that hasn't give up just yet. Capitalize on that if you can. That hope that clings to you may be the way out.
This is spot on the way the, reel you in then attack. They make you feel guilty for living.
Great video -- most especially about the mind games, which is not often depicted in videos like this. The kind of occasional tenderness and kind kisses combined with abusive behavior. Totally controlling and manipulative. Very well done.
You'll be very surprised how many men that has been abused. Unfortunately, a lot of men are afraid to seek some help, because they don't want to be looked at as punks.
This shit burns me up because if a man hits a woman, he's labeled a woman beater, but if it's the other way around, it's a sign of "love". When men are victims of abuse, they're de-victimized and told to "man up". Yeah "man up", as in "suffer in silence". I FUCKING HATE THAT SHIT!!!
It's sad that domestic violence against men is never talked about men are been told to grow up when they're abused and this led me to become a men's rights activist so that men can have justice against female abusers. Thanks for the video
This broke my heart 😢
i hate when people claim to be femanist but only support women
a femanist should be someone who belives in equal rights for all genders men should be included
Horrific, I have been there and lived with a violent wife, for 18.5years I stayed to protect my son, but in the end it made me very ill ,and 8 yrs on it still affects my every day, I am newly married but it is looking like a similar situation but if it can't be fixed then I will leave, if a man is going through this ,my advice is find the strength to leave for your own health, it's very hard at first but you will begin to recover and find yourself again and learn to laugh again, be strong you have a future after you close the door on abuse 👍
Yes! If it gets too bad, do not hesitate to leave her.
Thank you for making this. It is horrible how people doesn't take man who are victim of this hell iseriously like a woman who is a victim of domestic abuse. A good and evil nature is not define buy gender. And these woman who will abuse her boyfriend/husband and use the gender to her advantage are disgusting. Men deserve the same help as women. Abuse is wrong, for both men and women.
When she threw the plate you could see him trying to protect himself because he knew what could be coming
I love how the abuser in this film is portrayed as at times being overly doting and seemingly loving of the victim, and at other times extremely cruel. That's how abusive relationships, regardless of the gender of the abuser or victim, perpetuate - the victim always thinks "things will get better" while the abuser manipulates them like a marionette. My cousin was a victim of partner abuse - though she never got physically violent with him, she was extremely emotionally abusive and deadass faked a pregnancy to try to get him to stay. He still has PTSD from his experiences with her while she continues to stalk him (when he moved to another state, she followed him). I'm glad he seems to be over the worst of it now.
Your acting is top fucking notch. Both of you... bloody hell, I can hardly stand to watch this.
Thankyou. It was rather harrowing to film, but hopefully it was worth it and the end result has been achieved to help people out there.
Amazing film, amazing acting and an amazing message sent out to the world! Well done!
this is so sad. it's crazy how this is someone's reality.
I think the hardest part about this kind of situation, and the thing that I rarely see people actually touch on, however this video displays quite well is how two faced these women can be and that's why men can't just walk away. They love the women when their nice and sweet and caring, and thats why they can't just walk away when theyre not.
The most scary part of being a man specially big and tough is the fact that women can make a monster out of you easily telling all of the people close to them what kind of tyrant you are while you are overthinking about how to fix this
Behaviour is not bound by gender. Or by any other factors in fact.
Brilliant video. We need more people in academia standing up and demanding awareness of men's issues.
Best decision I ever made was to leave a relationship that had fallen into a cycle of emotional abuse - she isolated me from my friends, belittled me in front of my family, screamed abuse at me, shut me out. It wasn't out of my control, but you can feel so unable to act for the fear of what might happen. One day, I just said it was over and walked away. I've now been married for 10 years to my soul mate and realise what true love and a partnership is.
Believe it or not this does indeed happen to Good Men who simply refuse to beat up a Woman, .No matter how poorly, and mistreated he may treated.
These Men are Not wimpy Men, or weak, these men are not sissies, they simply respect Women, and Would NEVER hurt a Woman.
Women that abuse men this way take advantage of the men, these men will NEVER attempt to harm a woman.
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man tough
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man strong
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man cool
Beating up a Woman doesn't make a man a man.
Author Advocate for Humanity,
Jason Sandifer,
Michigan,
10/24/2021
who said it makes a man strong
who said it makes a woman strong to attack a man?
probably way more people than the other way
As a woman, let me tell you: these things happen. Abusers are not men or women, they come with different faces, as do victims. Please, don’t ignore people when they confide in you enough to express a doubt about their SO or tell you what happens between them. Also, be very careful and if someone treats you badly ONCE, leave. The longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. They usually don’t change and it’s not worth it to stick around to make sure.
We don't need you "as a woman" to tell us men matter too, just say your piece without bringing up the fact you're a woman, it implies that men need your approval!
I've posted your comment on my video where you provided a link to this. Sincerely hope people see it, although--as others have said below--it was _very_ difficult to watch. Thanks for sharing your work with everyone....
Thank you Jamal :)
I went thru 16yrs of marriage of domestic abuse. Emotionally, mentally and physical abuse. When I said I had enough an wanted to end my marriage, I got put in jail and then thru hell to get away from her. I still get harassed by her to this day. I just mind my own business and leave my kids alone so I don’t give her my address or phone number. So it’s been a long road to get better and now I get on with life. God bless
I started crying when she started hitting him. WHY?!
This deserves at least 10 million views...
bravo its great to see there is an awareness for battered men and the message you put across in this short film was brilliant....
alyson constance totally agree
Equal rights, equal FIGHTS.