It is God honoring to hear a Pastor say that if I’m in a meeting and my son or daughter called me or wife. They make that the priority. The meeting can hold.
Most people start off blaming the other while secretly carrying convictions of the Holy Spirit that are tough to face. They're both being truthful and are fallen humans, I've been in both their shoes and balance and correct thinking and treating of others is Jesus key. Thank you for sessions to watch and practice with.
I'm not doing well today. (Emotionally speaking.) It's 49 days since he's spoken to me. I reached out to him, he said he's too busy for me. I'm hurting very deeply. The grief is beyond imaginable. He just completely left me. Abandoned me. Discarded me: like last week's garbage. (That's exactly how it feels!) We were so close. He was my best friend. We went from texting all throughout the day and night, To now being complete strangers... The abandonment and the betrayal leaves me breathless. Leaves me panicked, hyperventilating, suicidal. He left me with nothing but a 999-trillion pound weight atop my chest: suffocating and strangling me, and an ache inside my heart that just won't cease... It just feels like being buried in a dark-dark window-less cave.
Dude, your wife and family are your first ministry. How you treat your wife will be a picture of how you treat the flock. God may have called to you be a Pastor, but that does not mean that your wife is called to be "Co-Pastor" or an "Assistant Pastor." She does not have to live up to some sort of "Pastor's wife" duties. Whose standards is she not living up to? Your's or God's
Often in marriage counseling, there are more issues that must be addressed than the presenting problem alone. As the case progresses, Dr. Street communicates hope and truth from the Scriptures for Julie and vital truth from the Word on the husband's role as one who loves and lays down his life for his wife.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.- The wife just need more love from the husband. Not meeting the expectation.
Spot on! I am a Biblical Counselor, and when I correct any issues there may be with the husband / father, it very often clears up all the other matters in the home.
I disagree. I think there should be an examination on both parts. A wife could be unhappy because there are indeed things the husband may be doing to contribute- however, sometimes a wife may be unhappy because of misplaced hope and expectations. Sometimes these things can lead to sin on the wife’s part. It is always wise to consider both parts and examine one’s own heart and motives when moving forward in marital issues.
I was led here by research and stayed out of curiousity. It was very difficult to watch. I honestly hope this isn't something that actually happens. He is just going on and on and purely based off assumptions. He doesnt know her at all. He doesnt understand anything about how a relationship can change when the partners take on huge leadership roles. In this time, patience is key. He is not a very good shepherd. I feel sad if one of the sheep "doesn't live up to his expectations." He loves her, I can see that but he loves the idea he created for her more than the actual person who is real with feelings and tendencies, habits... All good and bad. He seems to try to be empathetic but really he is too harsh and task focused. He needs to be more open.
I see that he seems to feel that if he is called to preach then automatically his wife should be called to "fill the preachers wife's role" and it is breaking her spirit.
I am watching this and at the 20 minute mark I cannot take it any more. I understand this is a re-enactment and if this an accurate re-enactment this Dr. Street took far too long with the husband. Where is the compassion and caring for the wife? This is not the way to counsel a "couple." Letting one spouse spout off for an extended period of time without even acknowledging the other. If this had happened to me I would have gotten up and walked out. This is the worst kind of first counseling session you can have with a couple. Instead of having one spouse sit in and listen to a seemingly unending complaint session of 20+ minutes the counselor would be better served interviewing them one on one. After he gets the background information then bring them together as a couple and give a summary of what he has learned from them. Then the counselor can address them as two people who are of value. This Dr Street seemingly valued the husband over the wife. That is what I see so far. As I continued the video, it seemed the husband gave a "textbook" answer. I would have loved to have seen the actual session to see the husband's body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. In the re-enactment he seemed the same cold and calculating man. Those are my observations.
I’ve only watched stand first few minutes and I’m not sure I can watch anymore. This is awful, surely this man isn’t a qualified counsellor? Desk, taking notes during session, long bloated prayer...it just goes on. I’m looking at the poor wife’s face and body language while her husband and the counsellor relate to his wife as she and her. Oh dear, it must feel traumatic.
Poor wife, the wife is crying all the way. But the husband is talking and talking, did not care about the wife at all. At least he should give her a hug or pass her tissue... He seems like lack of compassion and love.
OBGyn's do not specialize in mental health! Been through this. She may have physical depression. This is upsetting. Do your research on depression, please counselors!
Hence he talked about the OBGyn taking blood work and checking her out physically, in case there was a clear-cut physiological issue behind her situation. Biblical Counselors should (if they're good) always make sure that their counselees get meticulous physical check-ups in conjunction with coming in for counseling.
@@pastorlyndon Major Depressive Disorder does not show up in a blood test. As such, it will show that nothing is "wrong" with her, and lead her to feel more guilt.
@@janenorton778 Depression doesn't show up on bloodwork, no...but you don't take bloodwork for that. You take bloodwork to check major physiological markers and try to determine if there is some physiological component that is contributing (i.e. iron anemia, hormone levels, etc.). When there is any sort of physiological pathology or contributing factors that CAN be eliminated, then that's a huge win for your counselee. If a person can take some sort of supplement or pill to correct any physical infirmity or deficiency that is contributing to their emotional state, go for it. Our bodies are complex biological machines where the mental and physical interact with amazing complexity.
No where in scripture is the wife suppose to or expected to act as the assistant Pastor helping with different ministries. Her role is as a wife, period. The Pastor is more worried about what other people think than the needs of his wife. He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church.
Why does he allow the husband to talk so long. He is not attending to her non-verbal cues. Is he treating her for inadequate " wife of a pastor role" or Clinical depression . He is not even treating the couple. Dr.Street takes too long to get to her problems and the origins of their relational Dysfunction I'm the marriage and not her, " role" of Pastor's wife.
No Gospel here. Just a husband with law-heavy expectations. “She’s not meeting my expectations”. He thinks the whole problem is her. She is beaten down and in the end, trying hard to comply. He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and he is not doing that but thinks she’s so terrible and sinful that he won’t be able to present her blameless. As if he’s responsible for her righteous standing. No. That’s Christ whose righteousness we have. A pastor’s wife is not supposed to be a mini-pastor. She’s supposed to raise the kids and keep the home and so support the him by that. Stop with the legalistic expectations and show her the same grace God in Christ has shown you and shows you every day. Christ should be her strength and hope that carries her through dark days, NOT her husband!Tragic.
Condescending sociopath. You can tell he puts her down all the time with the words he uses and makes her feel guilty. The way he expresses himself is always putting blame on her, the way she expresses is saying that she is at fault. Maybe he does not make Julie feel wanted in a way that she wants to go home and have a sexual relationship. Also, i am not entirely sure, but she is wearing male clothes (shirt), maybe he does not let her dress like a girl or minimizes that, which can lead to her not feeling secure about herself. Moreover, why is she always looking down? like she is in front of the principal after messing up. the only time she smiled was when the guy was asked if he loved her, that's all she wants (needs).
iTIMOu Condescending, maybe. But I would not say he's a sociopath. Many highly educated men who are not used to dealing with women come across this way. It's not that he's a sociopath, he's just not in touch with emotions and feelings as much as he is with knowledge.
I didn't know if you were referring to Dr Street or the Pastor with your 'condescending sociopath' accusation. But you're accurate about her 'male clothing' observation; I even thought she was a man to begin with.
@@sexobscura classic desexualisation that meets the needs of some Christians. Julie would benefit from accessing a qualified secular counsellor or a qualified Christian counsellor. Dr. Street would not even make it past basic counselling skills. Thing is, many Christians call themselves counsellors when they are not. It takes five years to train specifically and qualify as a counsellor. As a Christian myself, I have witnessed a lot of self-importance and entitlement in the church whereby untrained people believe that they are able to counsel a person. It’s usually just advice and based upon how a person should be and/or act in relation to the Bible. With that said, it will be the clients fault because God can’t be wrong. This causes even more shame and guilt. Counselling goes deeper and allows the client to feel heard (not just listened to) and not judged. Why is this counsellor writing notes as Julie shares? This is more like marriage supervision.
I’d like to know if she knew he wanted to become a preacher before they got together. Maybe she doesn’t fit the role of preacher’s wife! She is depresses because she isn’t living HER purpose, she is trying to live HIS! He should be putting his arm around her as she weeps! He is lacking in his husbandly duties to LOVE her as Christ loved the church!!!
Let go & let God be the head of the family and your ministry. Quit trying to run things. Also, a women likes being compared to her mother-in-law or an ex-wife. I'm sure she's overwhelmed by everything. when a women is pregnant the last thing she is interested in is sex. sometimes you come home & need to unwind, allow her that same privilege. UNDISCIPLINED SLEEPING! SHE IS PREGNATE.
I think they are 2 different people in many ways. And like he said it's a spiral downward. She has probably put a wall up due to feeling like she's not good enough. And I'm not saying that is his fault soley. This is very much normal I think. Two different ways for living. I've been there. I hate it for them. Really. It's easier said than done for her to just snap out of it. She may be afraid of failing or messing up. So she freezes. It's hard. She's very much turned off. Pushing his hand from her knee says alot. But they're truly trying. That's all you can do. This is the most "real" video I've found in depression ect. These videos of "actor portrayals" with this subject are useless to me. Great video though. I relate to her soooooo muchhhhh. I hope they figured it out. !!
That poor woman. I hope she leaves this counselor and finds someone with compassion for her broken heart. I hope someone teaches this man how to love his wife.
@@FBCTrona it does first say "ACTUAL COUNSELING SESSION" and then re-enactment. And based on the wife's actions (crying the whole time, pushing her husband's hand off of her lap, the dejected looks), I would say this is a real session. If it isn't real, then this woman is one heck of a skilled actor!
That's a pretty convincing example of spiritual abuse by both the husband and the counselor. Horrific.
Truly horrific to watch this.
Agree
It is God honoring to hear a Pastor say that if I’m in a meeting and my son or daughter called me or wife. They make that the priority. The meeting can hold.
When he says I “we try to talk through that”. I can’t believe he listened. I believe he talked trying to convince her to see things his way.
Most people start off blaming the other while secretly carrying convictions of the Holy Spirit that are tough to face. They're both being truthful and are fallen humans, I've been in both their shoes and balance and correct thinking and treating of others is Jesus key. Thank you for sessions to watch and practice with.
That poor woman. I cannot believe she didn't leave the room. How terrible.
I'm not doing well today.
(Emotionally speaking.)
It's 49 days since he's spoken to me.
I reached out to him,
he said he's too busy for me.
I'm hurting very deeply.
The grief is beyond imaginable.
He just completely left me. Abandoned me.
Discarded me: like last week's garbage.
(That's exactly how it feels!)
We were so close. He was my best friend.
We went from texting all throughout the day and night,
To now being complete strangers...
The abandonment and the betrayal leaves me breathless.
Leaves me panicked, hyperventilating, suicidal.
He left me with nothing but a 999-trillion pound weight
atop my chest: suffocating and strangling me,
and an ache inside my heart that just won't cease...
It just feels like being buried in a dark-dark window-less cave.
Dude, your wife and family are your first ministry. How you treat your wife will be a picture of how you treat the flock. God may have called to you be a Pastor, but that does not mean that your wife is called to be "Co-Pastor" or an "Assistant Pastor." She does not have to live up to some sort of "Pastor's wife" duties. Whose standards is she not living up to? Your's or God's
Often in marriage counseling, there are more issues that must be addressed than the presenting problem alone. As the case progresses, Dr. Street communicates hope and truth from the Scriptures for Julie and vital truth from the Word on the husband's role as one who loves and lays down his life for his wife.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.- The wife just need more love from the husband. Not meeting the expectation.
When the wife is unhappy, check and see what the husband is doing.
Spot on! I am a Biblical Counselor, and when I correct any issues there may be with the husband / father, it very often clears up all the other matters in the home.
I disagree. I think there should be an examination on both parts. A wife could be unhappy because there are indeed things the husband may be doing to contribute- however, sometimes a wife may be unhappy because of misplaced hope and expectations. Sometimes these things can lead to sin on the wife’s part. It is always wise to consider both parts and examine one’s own heart and motives when moving forward in marital issues.
I was led here by research and stayed out of curiousity.
It was very difficult to watch.
I honestly hope this isn't something that actually happens. He is just going on and on and purely based off assumptions. He doesnt know her at all. He doesnt understand anything about how a relationship can change when the partners take on huge leadership roles. In this time, patience is key.
He is not a very good shepherd. I feel sad if one of the sheep "doesn't live up to his expectations."
He loves her, I can see that but he loves the idea he created for her more than the actual person who is real with feelings and tendencies, habits... All good and bad.
He seems to try to be empathetic but really he is too harsh and task focused.
He needs to be more open.
I see that he seems to feel that if he is called to preach then automatically his wife should be called to "fill the preachers wife's role" and it is breaking her spirit.
I am glad that he sees this as HIS weakness and not hers. He is right on with that!
I am watching this and at the 20 minute mark I cannot take it any more. I understand this is a re-enactment and if this an accurate re-enactment this Dr. Street took far too long with the husband. Where is the compassion and caring for the wife? This is not the way to counsel a "couple." Letting one spouse spout off for an extended period of time without even acknowledging the other. If this had happened to me I would have gotten up and walked out. This is the worst kind of first counseling session you can have with a couple. Instead of having one spouse sit in and listen to a seemingly unending complaint session of 20+ minutes the counselor would be better served interviewing them one on one. After he gets the background information then bring them together as a couple and give a summary of what he has learned from them. Then the counselor can address them as two people who are of value. This Dr Street seemingly valued the husband over the wife. That is what I see so far. As I continued the video, it seemed the husband gave a "textbook" answer. I would have loved to have seen the actual session to see the husband's body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. In the re-enactment he seemed the same cold and calculating man. Those are my observations.
I’ve only watched stand first few minutes and I’m not sure I can watch anymore. This is awful, surely this man isn’t a qualified counsellor? Desk, taking notes during session, long bloated prayer...it just goes on. I’m looking at the poor wife’s face and body language while her husband and the counsellor relate to his wife as she and her. Oh dear, it must feel traumatic.
Poor wife, the wife is crying all the way. But the husband is talking and talking, did not care about the wife at all. At least he should give her a hug or pass her tissue... He seems like lack of compassion and love.
The husband is pretty harsh on his wife.
OBGyn's do not specialize in mental health! Been through this. She may have physical depression. This is upsetting. Do your research on depression, please counselors!
Hence he talked about the OBGyn taking blood work and checking her out physically, in case there was a clear-cut physiological issue behind her situation. Biblical Counselors should (if they're good) always make sure that their counselees get meticulous physical check-ups in conjunction with coming in for counseling.
@@pastorlyndon Major Depressive Disorder does not show up in a blood test. As such, it will show that nothing is "wrong" with her, and lead her to feel more guilt.
@@janenorton778 Depression doesn't show up on bloodwork, no...but you don't take bloodwork for that. You take bloodwork to check major physiological markers and try to determine if there is some physiological component that is contributing (i.e. iron anemia, hormone levels, etc.).
When there is any sort of physiological pathology or contributing factors that CAN be eliminated, then that's a huge win for your counselee. If a person can take some sort of supplement or pill to correct any physical infirmity or deficiency that is contributing to their emotional state, go for it. Our bodies are complex biological machines where the mental and physical interact with amazing complexity.
No where in scripture is the wife suppose to or expected to act as the assistant Pastor helping with different ministries. Her role is as a wife, period. The Pastor is more worried about what other people think than the needs of his wife. He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church.
Be careful not to judge, Matt 7:1-; Gal.6:1- look at your own logs and be graceful and understanding according to scripture.
Why does he allow the husband to talk so long. He is not attending to her non-verbal cues. Is he treating her for inadequate " wife of a pastor role" or Clinical depression . He is not even treating the couple. Dr.Street takes too long to get to her problems and the origins of their relational Dysfunction I'm the marriage and not her, " role" of Pastor's wife.
No Gospel here. Just a husband with law-heavy expectations. “She’s not meeting my expectations”. He thinks the whole problem is her. She is beaten down and in the end, trying hard to comply. He is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and he is not doing that but thinks she’s so terrible and sinful that he won’t be able to present her blameless. As if he’s responsible for her righteous standing. No. That’s Christ whose righteousness we have. A pastor’s wife is not supposed to be a mini-pastor. She’s supposed to raise the kids and keep the home and so support the him by that. Stop with the legalistic expectations and show her the same grace God in Christ has shown you and shows you every day. Christ should be her strength and hope that carries her through dark days, NOT her husband!Tragic.
Hey BCDASoCal, you should be honest is this an “Actual Session” or “Re-enactment”? It really matters.
It's a re-enactment.
If you want to honor the Lord! You have to recognize he’s not looking for perfection. That is a sin do you want to get rid of
Condescending sociopath. You can tell he puts her down all the time with the words he uses and makes her feel guilty. The way he expresses himself is always putting blame on her, the way she expresses is saying that she is at fault. Maybe he does not make Julie feel wanted in a way that she wants to go home and have a sexual relationship. Also, i am not entirely sure, but she is wearing male clothes (shirt), maybe he does not let her dress like a girl or minimizes that, which can lead to her not feeling secure about herself. Moreover, why is she always looking down? like she is in front of the principal after messing up. the only time she smiled was when the guy was asked if he loved her, that's all she wants (needs).
iTIMOu Condescending, maybe. But I would not say he's a sociopath. Many highly educated men who are not used to dealing with women come across this way. It's not that he's a sociopath, he's just not in touch with emotions and feelings as much as he is with knowledge.
I didn't know if you were referring to Dr Street or the Pastor with your 'condescending sociopath' accusation. But you're accurate about her 'male clothing' observation; I even thought she was a man to begin with.
@@sexobscura classic desexualisation that meets the needs of some Christians. Julie would benefit from accessing a qualified secular counsellor or a qualified Christian counsellor. Dr. Street would not even make it past basic counselling skills. Thing is, many Christians call themselves counsellors when they are not. It takes five years to train specifically and qualify as a counsellor. As a Christian myself, I have witnessed a lot of self-importance and entitlement in the church whereby untrained people believe that they are able to counsel a person. It’s usually just advice and based upon how a person should be and/or act in relation to the Bible. With that said, it will be the clients fault because God can’t be wrong. This causes even more shame and guilt. Counselling goes deeper and allows the client to feel heard (not just listened to) and not judged. Why is this counsellor writing notes as Julie shares? This is more like marriage supervision.
I’d like to know if she knew he wanted to become a preacher before they got together. Maybe she doesn’t fit the role of preacher’s wife! She is depresses because she isn’t living HER purpose, she is trying to live HIS! He should be putting his arm around her as she weeps! He is lacking in his husbandly duties to LOVE her as Christ loved the church!!!
They could’ve stopped at the 10 minute mark. then send him home to practice supporting his wife
The husband seems very harsh and self-centered, but at least he admits to his own faults.
Let go & let God be the head of the family and your ministry. Quit trying to run things. Also, a women likes being compared to her mother-in-law or an ex-wife. I'm sure she's overwhelmed by everything. when a women is pregnant the last thing she is interested in is sex. sometimes you come home & need to unwind, allow her that same privilege. UNDISCIPLINED SLEEPING! SHE IS PREGNATE.
She is pregnant and dealing with morning. Give her a break
I think they are 2 different people in many ways. And like he said it's a spiral downward. She has probably put a wall up due to feeling like she's not good enough. And I'm not saying that is his fault soley. This is very much normal I think. Two different ways for living. I've been there. I hate it for them. Really. It's easier said than done for her to just snap out of it. She may be afraid of failing or messing up. So she freezes. It's hard. She's very much turned off. Pushing his hand from her knee says alot. But they're truly trying. That's all you can do. This is the most "real" video I've found in depression ect. These videos of "actor portrayals" with this subject are useless to me. Great video though. I relate to her soooooo muchhhhh. I hope they figured it out. !!
That poor woman. I hope she leaves this counselor and finds someone with compassion for her broken heart. I hope someone teaches this man how to love his wife.
She looks very sad.
This is just a reenactment.
Are you sure? The title says "Actual Session." Looks real to me.
Scott Tiner, Video Editor He says at the very beginning of the video in session one that this is a reenactment
Okay, I missed that. Thanks
@@FBCTrona it does first say "ACTUAL COUNSELING SESSION" and then re-enactment. And based on the wife's actions (crying the whole time, pushing her husband's hand off of her lap, the dejected looks), I would say this is a real session. If it isn't real, then this woman is one heck of a skilled actor!
Self centered and immature Pastor.
Bless his heart!
immature pastor
Nice counselling.
Not!
Hahahahaha.