Throwing up at the alter and crying at the thought of divorce are clear signs of intense fear of abandonment and rejection sensitivity. I’m no fan of her but it feels so cruel that Morgan’s mental health and anxiety issues are treated like a punchline and used as clickbait.
also throwing up at the alter is understandable imo; a very significant event in your life plus being the center of attention can be very anxiety-inducing!!
the saddest part to me is that she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder so these things to me seem like they could be clear symptoms of this and she and paul have both said that that diagnosis is invalid (obviously she knows herself better than me but this just makes me sad dude😭) it’s just so upsetting to me that they invalidate her like that
I was very concerned about her throwing up until I learned she has BPD. I completely understand why she would react that way. My heart goes out to Morgan
It’s not “clickbait,” it’s an actual point that was made in the video. Also, P&M exposed *themselves* on this. You can’t exploit something people voluntarily broadcasted about themselves. Perhaps the real issue here is: why do P&M feel the need to over-share so much? This seems like things they should be taking to a therapist, not putting on TH-cam.
@@anonomus8709 YES! at the end when he said “this was so therapeutic” I retorted out loud so is therapy! And it’s private, safe, effective, and can actually help you get through those feeling that will 100% come to the surface as soon as you cut the camera.
Paul has no respect for Morgan, and Morgan doesn’t know how to handle it except to laugh it off, but it clearly hurts her. It’s so uncomfortable to watch. He is so plainly and openly emotionally abusive toward her. I just cannot imagine being in a relationship with, much less marrying, a man who would speak so condescendingly toward me and put me down so publicly. It’s honestly so disturbing and extremely sad.
i feel like she did this to get things off her chest. she might not know how else to point of the negatives of her marriage without it being a game… she’s probably also being told this is acceptable. and i don’t feel like paul’s answers are genuine. or maybe they are and i’m just shocked someone can actually answer like that and mean it wholeheartedly….
She does it quite often to him on camera too, so I think they’ve got the problem that he’s an effeminate leader and she is an unsubmissive wife. His lack of leading will only perpetuate here anxieties and natural womanly will to usurp men. So I agree the responsibility first lies with Paul, I guess I just prefer to see Christ and His word as the lens and prognosis over emotions.
100% agree. Emotional and psychological abuse Red flags flying widely, Paul edits these videos and intentionally kept this in, a dangerous man displaying his control. It's so concerning.
omg, like how she starts crying and his first instinct is to laugh at her all "haha, look guys, she's crying." not to comfort her, explain himself, ignore the cameras, get up and be a human being for a second and go hug her. nope, it's just "haha, women on their period, so emotional, wife crying so funny, right guys?" honestly it's disgusting. thanks, but i'll take my healthy secular relationship complete with autonomy, trust and genuine caring over this hellscape any day
It would be bad enough if he invalidated her feelings just because she was on her period, but what he did was even worse. He blamed her period for how she feels when she's not even on her period anymore. That means he probably pulls this shit for almost half the month. I can hear him already. "Let's just keep in mind that you're period is coming this week." "Well, your period just ended 4 days ago."
I am always having to explain this. Yes, hormones are what made me more expressive of my emotions, but they didn't fabricate an emotion or thought o out of nowhere, it's always stuff I've felt before and had thoughts
Seriously! I'll bet this is his go-to line every time he is an a-hole to her and she reacts like anyone else would! He just seems pathetic enough to do this. Yuck.
The fact that they openly laugh online about their problems… it’s like they don’t realize we can all see the pain in their eyes behind this forced laughing face… it’s so cringe and tragic honestly.
i mean, laugh online about your problems, cool, that's whatever. but then don't go and act like your marriage is the pinnacle of perfection and prescribe people advice like you're the authority on healthy relationships. that's just wild to me
I’ve been married 36 years and my husband and I have had our ups and downs don’t get me wrong, but we have never had the level of problems that they have, especially in the intimacy area and they think they are having normal problems that all marriages have, I find them very toxic for each other, they have no business giving relationship advise
Yep, more than once too! Everyone of their videos I’ve seen he either does this or reminds her that she wasn’t a virgin when they got married, he’s gross!
I didn't like Paul going after Morgan for packing to go to her parent's house. He wasn't bringing it up to ask her what her thoughts and feelings were when she did that, he brought it up to try and bring her down morally in their audience's eyes.
Yes and it’s not even bad to pack up your things and get away for a night if you need it. Getting space is okay married or not. It’s not like she was planning to leave and go to a bar and meet other men. Like calm down Paul lol
Girl, I've been with my partner for 13 years and have two pre-teens with him and I don't think I'm fitted to give that much relationship advices as they do... They just make me cringe most of the time...
@@openlybookishthey started their channel within a year of getting married, and they’re talking about how in the first few years they fought all the time and she packed a bag. They’ve never been fit to give advice.
Okay my husband is a boxing instructor and wrapping someone’s hands is like a basic part of the job 🥴 Paul feeling threatened by that is genuinely sort of funny
Right? It cast aspersions of their apparent lack of jealousy for me... like what you are describing is not matching your assessment of your comfort level, buddy
Sis, it’s as normal as a doctor rubbing a patients chin with both hands to check for lymph nodes when they are sick 😂😂 they are not trying to kiss you.
Interesting how Paul famously keeps shaming Morgan on not being a virgin at marriage but has considered divorce where Morgan says only sexual immortality is grounds for divorce in their belief. Does that mean Paul still considers Morgan de facto still sexually immoral to this day for not saving herself and chose to marry and hold this over her anyway? He can leave any time because she ruined her sexual morality before meeting him? Why marry someone you think is unsaveably morally failed if not for feeling superior at every point in the marriage?
Probably … I feel like Paul views himself as even higher than Morgan (bc of course he’s a man, so he’s higher up) since he was a virgin. If he really didn’t care or worked through it, why bring it up so often.
@@8OH3_ I was contemplating this some more think it's somehow both superiority and inferiority complex? I doubt he couldn't have found another God-fearing lady who hadn't lost her virginity yet but then he'd have to make more of an effort to be a good husband/person because they'd be on equal grounds. He just always has the high ground now so he can feel good about himself and win all of the time.
@@marlyd ooh that tracks to me. It’s a permanent “see how amazing I was to marry this impure woman” pedestal to stand on. I think I heard somewhere else that he was creeping around high schools after graduating looking for a wife. He doesn’t strike me as the brightest fellow, so looks and a v card were prob all he was bringing to the table aside from his cockiness in his appearance.
I was thinking this exact same thing. Generally she just seems miserable and LOADS of the content they make are focused on her or she’s in the hot seat about what she did. It just makes me so sad.
I actually interpreted this as Paul considering divorce because he's been tempted to cheat/he wished he was free to pursue someone else. But yeah, it's pretty messed up that, if this is their only hardline requirement for divorce, he can peace out at any time and still blame Morgan.
She said she NEVER thought of getting a divorce, so her packing her stuffs was her distancing herself from the situation. It was more about recentering herself. He may not have packed up his stuffs, be he thought of getting the divorce, so in my eyes she is the most "morale" one
Her virginity should never have been anybodys business and certainly not for youtube consumption. She probably should never have shared that. Knowing men like this who have huge egos and zero maturity /empathy, I would have advised her to keep it between her and Jesus
While Morgan came across more aggressive in this video, I wonder if her underlying sense of irritation towards Paul is a result of his seemingly constant pointed jabs. We hear so much about her “sexual immorality”, her laziness (she’s diagnosed with depression) her willfulness to take the lead in the marriage. Even when Morgan had a valid reaction to finding out Paul considered divorce, he couldn’t just let her have a moment. He made her hold his hand, then threw the time she packed to visit her parents back in her face. He couldn’t just let the strong moment breathe, he had to remind everyone of a time Morgan failed in his eyes I often wonder what would have happened if Morgan had swiped right on a more progressive Christian. Maybe I’m giving her too much credit, but I feel like she’s saying what Paul wants her to say, whereas if she met someone who didn’t weaponize her “sexually immoral past” at every turn, didn’t use religion to undermine mental health treatment, and just didn’t feel the need to sneak in little jabs all the time, would she be a more pleasant and tolerant person?
given where she started out, i think yeah, if she'd ended up in a healthy relationship with a normal christian, one that still shared the same religious values, but not to an unhealthy fundamentalist style extreme, then she would've ended up in a much healthier place. i think a lot of who she is and what she does now comes from never healing from any of her problems (like the mental health struggles, etc). and instead, she ended up in this toxic relationship with someone who gaslights and manipulates her, to the point where she honestly believes the toxic BS she's spouting is righteous. and it's sad, cuz if she'd ended up in a healthy relationship, one that allowed her to heal, seek genuine mental health treatment, express herself in a healthy way, all of that, Morgan could've become a lovely person (in addition to being WAAAAY happier) but nope. now she's stuck in a marriage that she doesn't even seem to want to be in, trapped by her own beliefs, and she's internalized them and paul's BS so much that she honestly believes this is as good as ti can get for her
I often feel like Morgan is always coming across as this weird mixture of childish aloofness and putting on a show, it kind of comes across like she is almost drunk? Her shows of happiness feel manufactured. The constant laughing about everything is very jarring. It reminds me of an interview I watched with a young man who had escaped growing up in a cult. He would laugh at inappropriate times, when something wasn't remotely funny, and it felt very uncomfortable, but he did it because that is what he was taught to do by his cult. Look happy, no matter what, because if you're unhappy it might make people think something is wrong with your beliefs, so you must always present your life as joyful.
8:54 Morgan *picks she disagrees that TH-cam is the best job* Us and B “hmm wonder why” Paul “so Morgan is on her period” Good heavens. Every-time I hear Paul say something he just confirms the type of person he is. Just a major eye roll of a person
Yeah, demanding intimacy when your partner is upset feels so gross. He can't just let her be upset, he needs HER to comfort HIM I know he makes a big deal about needing sex even when she's mad at him, and that interaction feels like an extension of that mindset.
It feels abusive to me. He shames her for not being a virgin. Tells her he considered divorce to make her feel terrible. Then he holds her hand to show her how much he loves her despite her mistakes. Next video she will once again be shamed for something and then he will tell her he loves her despite her flaws. Up, down, up, down. Love bomb, devalue, love bomb, devalue.
My jaw also dropped when he tried to turn around the divorce answer and make Morgan feel like she had gotten closer to doing that than him even though he was the one who put he'd thought about it and Morgan had never thought about it.
Paul redirecting the divorce conversation to make Morgan the “more wrong” one when he clearly hurt her feelings was so unsettling. I can only imagine what kind of things he does when they’re actually arguing
Another thing I immediately thought of about the phone thing is, no matter how much I trust my partner, sometimes I have conversations with friends where there share personal details with me it would not be appropriate to share with anyone else. Not wanting my partner to stumble across those isn't an issue of me not trusting my partner, but rather an issue of me deserving the trust my friends put in me by being vulnerable with me
It’s dangerous for them to believe that absolute personal transparency with your partner equates to them having access to the personal private matters of everyone in your life.
I was concerned about that too. Like “PAUL! Your wife is crying about something you said that you KNEW was hurtful and you’re more concerned about the audience??”
So…is anyone else wondering whether Morgan’s laughter is a “fawn effect”? I feel like a lot of their streams lately are, at the very least, unwise in what they share, and at the worse, pretty worrisome.
Every time morgan laughs through pain or shame or awkwardness, my heart breaks a little. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and her reactions remind me so much of myself at that time. I really hope she’s okay and that I’m just reading too far into it.
Ok just got to the divorce question. As a Christian I would say sexual immorality would be something a couple could work through. MUCH MORE than an abusive partner! A person could cheat and repent and never do it again. Not saying you HAVE to stay. If it is your line you can’t come back from by all means leave but that is much easier to come back from than a super toxic abusive relationship!!! WOW cannot believe they feel that way!!!
Yeah, the fact that they implied they neither of them would leave if their relationship turned abusive really shocked me. That, and the admittance that they go out of their way to be intimate while being angry with each other (and when maybe one or both don’t want to) makes me really worried about what’s happening behind closed doors.
as a former christian who was also married young, i have some thoughts: 1) dating should be longer for most all christian couples 2) many of the things they addressed towards the end are red flags for me. esp since i’ve had similar reflections and me and my husband are now divorcing. 3) i think if you love and respect each other and are equally willing to do the work, a marriage can survive a lot. infidelity isn’t necessarily the end. so you’re right about that. but also, like you said. you don’t have to stay. to me, marriage really should be viewed like a business contract imo. you don’t jump into a business. you don’t jump out of a business. crap happens. you can work thru it or move forward depending on how committed you are.
All of Paul's behavior over the years has convinced me he's an abuser. Period. He does not give an actual hell about this woman, he wants to possess, control and shape every aspect of her life, and he's DEEPLY offended the moment she disagrees or turns the tables. I truly hope she gets out one day.
The fact that when it came to thoughts on divorce, Morgan’s reasoning came from scripture and Paul’s reasoning came from reality and his emotional just tells me that religion isn’t for men. It’s to keep women and minorities in check and give men a “manual” to resort to for excuses.🙄
I've always felt weird about Paul and seeing him invalidate Morgan's emotions is honestly heartbreaking. Morgan is a totally different person online after marrying Paul and I do think he is emotional abusive towards Morgan.
I find myself often feeling bad for Morgan. The way she uses laughing as a coping mechanism. The fact that she has untreated mental illness because she trusts faith to heal everything. The way she has hinted at how Paul isn’t the most giving partner in the bedroom and expects to be intimate even when they are fighting. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has used the fact that she wasn’t “pure” when they got married against her multiple times. I see so much insecurity and feeling of inadequacy in her and she could truly thrive if she was able to 100% be herself.
He does use her supposed 'impurity' to manipulate her- literally crying about it on camera while she becomes more and more frantic and upset trying to calm him down. It isn't wrong for men to emote but he is cruel and ridiculous.
I remember watching one of their videos where they talk about why they still have sex when they are mad, and it really just came down to Paul feels insulted if she won't have sex with him whenever he wants, including if they are arguing. It very much feels like a power play on Paul's part to feel as though he still has access to her sexually no matter what.
@@DimaRakesah oh he very much does. and i think it comes down to this dated mentality where women should "serve" their husbands, you know, because women aren't real people who have autonomy. they're just objects that are here for the use of men. it gives ownership vibes to me. and somehow, paul's convinced morgan that having sex with him even if she's not feeling it is her wifely duty and not something she's allowed to be upset over. it's so gross
I appreciate your commentary. I’ve watched quite a few. As much as I don’t like Paul or Morgan as people, I did feel for Morgan at the divorce question. I feel like Paul is purposely mean at times bc he knows she won’t leave unless there’s cheating involved. The laughing was definitely a coping mechanism. I almost felt bad for Paul at the “sex lasted a long time… it was around an hour”. I definitely thought she was going to say multiple hours. Paul also strikes me as someone who isn’t very good at it (selfish) so the hour probably felt much longer. For me, I’ve seen very few, if any, redeeming qualities for Paul aside from being stereotypically good looking.
This was my same thought as well. When women start laughing when emotions are high I never consider it as a good thing. It's actually kind of terrifying to watch
Borderline Personality Disorder?? Who diagnosed her? This "game" is something that would trigger BPD. Abandonment issues are deep and she deserves therapy, respect and kindness.
Why is it so tense between them always. Even with Morgan laughing, it feels like Paul is going to explode and then give her the silent treatment once the cameras go off. Idk. I just always feel this air of tension between them. It's not like regular couples who are just easy with eachother.
As a lesbian watching this I laughed my ass off when they said an hour of sex is a long time iykyk (but also my god is this hard to get through, the PAIN in their laughter is palpable)
I mean if they were doing just penetration for an hour, yeah, that's way too long. My shit would be dry, numb and over it. I HIGHLY doubt a ton of foreplay was in that single hour
I'm atheist and LOVE your commentary. It is kind and full of common sense and your love for your religion is beautiful. You spread a positive message and that's what's important.
SAME. I'm not religious in the slightest, but especially in today's world, where the loudest voices that speak on religion are conservative, ultra right wing, fundamentalists, i think we DESPERATELY need more people like B representing the christian faith. people who spread the message that religion can be beautiful and fulfilling, but that it SHOULDN'T cause harm to others, that their religious beliefs don't excuse hatred or bigotry, and that their ideology SHOULDN'T put people in dangerous situations (like the kind of shaming and victim blaming and crap paul and morgan do that can be interpreted as an endorsement of staying in an abusive marriage, you know? B is the kind of christian i love to see and the kind that helps remind me that not all people who are religious are awful. because she's just level headed and kind. definitely need more christians to follow in her footsteps
Also same. I walked away from religion a long time ago, first because of the way religious people around me acted. Full of hypocrisy and cruelty. They seemed to care more about following whatever rules they decided were "godly" than caring about fellow human beings and I just couldn't tolerate it. Now I just fundamentally can't justify an all-knowing god existing, it doesn't make any sense to me. However I can totally respect B's beliefs because she seems to treat others with kindness, compassion and understanding rather than using religion as a way to feel better than everyone else and to oppress certain groups of people.
Their marriage is doomed. Morgan is driving the struggle bus, Paul is the naughy child in the back. He utterly fails to meet her emotional needs on almost every level, yet demands to have his needs met. I worry about Morgan. She seems so dis-empowered 😢
It’s so weird to me that they basically always admit to fighting. Like a fight every once in a while is normal but I feel like every video I see shows them saying how much they fight. Maybe it’s because I only watch the reactions to their videos but still! Weird..
@@BHaney yeah it honestly breaks my heart for Morgan. She reminds me of a friend. I hope she knows (or learns) she’s worth more than just being a reactionary clickbait resource for her husband.
I've been married ten years, I have no desire to cheat and neither does my husband, but I don't think it's necessary or healthy for spouses to go through each others' phones. My conversations with my friends are personal, and vice versa. If I want to share those things with my husband, that should be on my terms. And vice versa. I trust him. I don't need to know every single thing he's doing or looking at.
31:22 NOT PAUL GASLIGHTING MORGAN! Like is he really trying to be like “oh yeah you def wanted a divorce” cause she wanted space and probably a trusted a secure person to vent to!! I’m so glad Morgan clapped back and was like “yeah you’re still the a**hole who said he’d want a divorce”
This whole game they're playing is probably a great way for couples to grow their relationship... I just don't think it's beneficial for them or their audience to video it and post it on the internet. A lot of their reactions were obviously performative and uncomfortable for them.
8:40 I had to go back and re listen… “you did just come off your period” so she’s not even on her period right now?? How often does he use this to invalidate her feelings then? “You’re PMSing/on you’re period/just off your period” .. like does Morgan get like 1 week a month of valid feelings in his eyes or something????
Her laughing would get on my nerves an I always hoped it was an anxiety response. This proves it is, an I feel so bad for her that she has to “laugh off” her emotions. I’ve been here an I still am at times. So I guess I’ll try even harder to not let her squeaky laugh get to me 😢
Your face while listening to Morgan describing their first time having sex was hilarious. I could see this amazing cacophony of conflicting emotions that I can’t quite identify but also somehow deeply relate to lol.
I am so confused by her thinking sex taking an hour was forever. As a couple whose been married for 13 years, there are times where my husband and I have enjoyed it for a couple of hours (rare, but they do happen!). Our first time the whole process was probably about two hours? And it was on our wedding night, like theirs was.
When she was talking about it going on forever, I thought about the times of my youth where I could go for 3+ hours… but one hour?? That’s a good time but definitely not “forever” lmao
@@mollyryan5381 Morgan specifically said “from the time I walked out of the bathroom in lingerie to the time we were settling to sleep was an hour.” That timeline sounds pretty normal.
Omg I’m literally tearing up over her reaction to his answer. He’s just the worst. (ETA: full on cry after your words about the divorce topic. Man. I’m sure someone needed to hear that so I appreciate you saying it. ❤ He’s still absolutely the worst tho. )
All Morgan's laughing makes me so uncomfortable. Clearly she's masking everything and it's her way of confronting what might be a difficult conversation for them, or even brought up later off camera. Like, she laughs at EVERY answer they put and it is such a red flag of how she feels in his presence when talking about serious topics.
The fact that she was laughing uncontrollably then started to cry just *PROVES* she does that as a defense mechanism/when she’s uncomfortable. She always denies it but clearly she hides behind laughter. She laughs at *EVERYTHING*
In regards to divorce it was implemented by Moses by God’s instruction as a way to deal with the hardness of men’s hearts who were not taking care of their wives. I believe this carries into today. In the most simple of terms, if a spouse isn’t for you and creating a healthy marriage that is mutual, than it’s ok to go.
Thank you for sharing this... I was not aware. Must be why the stats show most women file for divorce, for sadly, some men often don't realize how they treat their wives
Win for the week: I met the sweetest old man at the grocery store last month and we had the most uplifting & lengthy conversation. I've been thinking about him ever since and just today I ran into him again :) We stood there in the store and chatted for 20 mins about all sorts of things. I found out both him and I love true crime 😅
21:07 agreed. I feel like there is a sort of friendship HIPPA. Like just cause your aware of an issue, unless that person gives you consent or explicitly ask for your partners prayers or opinion, then the information is between you and the friend. This is especially important if it is the friend who is sharing and entrusting you
I always told my abusive ex husband that divorce wasn’t an option. He threw it in my face when I served papers. When I watched this video of Paul and Morgan is when I realized how reassuring it was to him, because he made me cement it into my brain that no matter what, divorce wasn’t an option… and then he started abusing me physically. If they ever divorce, I hope Morgan gets therapy and possibly speaks out. I’m not saying Paul is abusive, but, he is awful.
the fact that morgan had to hear for the first time that paul thought about divorce through this challenge says A LOT. i feel like they are both so immature and morgan constantly laughing shows how truly uncomfortable she is but cant do anything about it. i use humor to cope a lot so i get it but like wtf.... i think its okay to think about splitting because i constantly have doubts about my relationship and myself but i know those feelings and thoughts stem from my own insecurities and issues with myself and not because i dont love my partner or think he is not good for me and i have openly discussed that with him. also, the whole idea that the ONLY reason you should divorce is infidelity is also so problematic for many reasons but to me it shows how trapped women feel in "biblical" marriages. there are MANY valid reasons for people to divorce and that whole ideology is so toxic and dangerous for people who experience DA within these types of communities. they're answers are valid and their answers alone are not an issue, but their reasonings and the fact that they hadn't discussed this before until now is what i find an issue with.
My husband was very abusive our first year of marriage and we sought counseling because I love him with every fiber of my being. He became abusive after a freak horrible car accident we were in. The counselor was a heavy Bible oriented one and I told him I wanted to divorce my husband because of how much worse things had gotten and he told me I shouldn't divorce him because he hadn't cheated on me so it would be a sin for me to leave him and my husband agreedand they both tried to gaslight me to stay in the marriage. I said eff that and proceeded to get divorce papers and only at that point did my husband see how serious I was and understand how he infact was the problem and worked so hard on himself and did a 180 turn back to the man I fell in love with. We are good now and he continues to work everyday to right the wrongs he did. I know to some it sounds stupid to of stayed with him but I love him and don't want to give up on him. He knows tho I will leave him if he reverts back even the slightest bit
i’m not religious, but i really appreciate this video. it’s so refreshing to hear a christian say it’s okay to seek divorce in unhealthy relationships. so often far right conservative christians voices are amplified. hearing a young progressive christian voice is refreshing!
Morgan is trapped with Paul. She’s a muted version of herself. Remember the music videos she produced before she was with him. She’s a good singer and she was actually really charismatic. Paul just dulls her shine.
Morgan's laughing has never not made me feel deeply uncomfortable, like she's using it to mask whatever negative emotion she really feels, NOT because she thinks the situation is funny.
That was absolutely vile and extremely disturbing to watch. Paul is abusing his wife on camera for views in the name of Jesus. She is absolutely devastated, and she's completely gaslit. My heart is broken for her ...
What makes me uncomfortable isn’t only Morgan’s constant laughter and passive aggressive remarks, it’s also Paul’s face. He looks SO irritated when he looks at her and like he has all this pent up anger inside of him.. 👀 It’s hard to watch.
My win: I got through a really stressful situation without having a full panic attack. I don't normally comment but I wanted to say, I really appreciate and respect the content that you make. I align more with the atheist/agnostic ideologies but I love tuning in and hearing your perspective on this sort of content. It can be easy to develop a narrow view of religious relationships when you are on the outside so hearing your thoughts and ideas on how to maintain healthy and SAFE Christian marriage is both refreshing and grounding. Your respect for those, like Morgan and Paul, who also identify as Christians with very different viewpoints is beautiful and caring and shows such grace. Keep up the amazing content and I know that many of us non religious folk will keep watching because you are great!
I honestly don't know if that hour concerned just penetration or if foreplay was present. Because if it's the former, yeah, an hour is WAY too long. And I don't see Paul as a man dedicating proper time to foreplay
I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental or critical. Watching Paul&Morgan's videos when they're together makes me appreciate my husband even more, because he's nothing like that guy. I'm so grateful that my husband is (and became so while we dated) authentically my best friend. Paul&Morgan don't seem to be friends with each other, and I feel sad for them. It would my own personal hell to be in an obligatory marriage, where my partner didn't respect my feelings and perspective as valid and legitimate. Like when Paul blamed Morgan's "negativity" on her period, that... like it hurt my feelings to watch. My husband wouldn't ever do that to me, because he's my friend, and he supports my goals/desires/wants in life, and he respects that my feelings and perspectives are just as important to our lives as his. That whole video they made is really, truly a sad thing. I hope for them, Paul and Morgan can figure out a way to develop a friendship instead of just being married.
It’s so hard to watch. In my late teens/early twenties, I was engaged to a guy and fully immersed in the church/purity culture/gender roles. Morgan reminds me so much of my friends and myself at that age. You are just longing to be accepted by anyone (God), you truly believe that God has given you a second chance at redemption, so you are willing to put up with anything. Her throwing up at the alter and discomfort on their wedding night, remind me of someone who was unfortunately unable to process her emotions consciously and therefore, her body reacted. Paul, on the other hand, also reminds me of so many christian boys I was around growing up. In a religion of absolutes, they are not taught how to cope with the reality that they fall in love with someone who is not “pure”. They are taught that they just need to pick the right person and God will bless them. But, I think often times men are drawn to women like Morgan because of their authenticity and vulnerability. However that’s giving them the benefit of the doubt, there is also the likelihood, that consciously or subconsciously men are drawn to vulnerable/hurt women because they can easily manipulate them into being the women they want AND also the woman in that situation will just feel so grateful to be given a second chance. Regarding the decision to be a youtuber/over sharing on the internet, I am so curious what made them decide to take this path. And I wonder if Paul wants to overshare because he believes in the end he comes out as looking like the better person when they are honest. I think this could explain part of the reason he always brings up her not being a virgin, etc. Not only is it something he blames himself for/is ashamed of (because the patriarchy also takes a mental toll on men), but I think it makes him extremely “virtuous” or “forgiving”. And anything he does, will never be that bad, from his perspective. Man, I could write a literal dissertation about all of this LOL
update: just got to the bit about divorce and i didn’t want to speculate about her laughter throughout, but it just confirms exactly what i expected. Morgan laughs as a coping mechanism and to be honest, it just shows that whenever she does that - there is some emotion she is trying to suppress. I still think about that time she tried to go to therapy and I forget what her issue was with the therapist, but man I just hope she gets the help she needs.
My parents knew each other for about 5 months before they started dating. They had a similar group of friends that they hung out with and that's how they first got to know each other. They dated for 3 weeks, and then engaged for 3 months before they got married. My dad purposefully didn't ask my mom's dad for permission before he proposed because he knew it sounded so ridiculous. They are still married all these years later but my parents made it very clear that they were a very rare exception and that if I ever came home to say I was engaged to a guy I'd been dating for anything less than 6 months, we'd have a very serious conversation and a real possibility of them not coming to the wedding. All this to say that while there are exceptions, please please be sure before you get married and don't rush into it because of outside pressure.
@Trae They are not being hypocritical, they are being empathetic to the experiences of others. To say "this worked for me, but it might not work for you" acknowledges and validates that everyone is different and has different experiences. If they said "this was good for me so it MUST be good for others", that completely ignores that other people are different from them and also assumes they know best for everyone else. Her parents are being fair and level-headed.
I think them having been platonic friends for 5 months definitely helps in this situation. People don't hide/curate themselves nearly so much with friends, as with someone they're dating and trying to impress.
personally, i find it pretty telling (and appalling) that Paul's first instinct when Morgan gets legitimately upset, enough to start crying, is to laugh at her and go "ha-ha, look guys, she's crying!" Not, forget the cameras for a second, let me comfort my wife, hug her, explain myself and tell her that "hey, you know our first few years together were difficult, so yeah, the thought crossed my mind once or twice. But I'm SO glad I never seriously let those thoughts in, because I love you and couldn't imagine my life without you." Nothing like that. He just laughs at her like "haha guys, women on their period, so emotional, so funny, am i right? lol" and it's only after he realizes how genuinely upset she is and how crappy it looks does he try to do anything to comfort her. an it's only to take her hand at that. like dude, you should've known this was gonna be an issue the moment she put her glass on strongly disagree, indicating she's NEVER thought about divorce, and you didn't. you should've known that real feelings would come up right then, and you should've stopped being a youtuber and a content creator right at that moment and started being a husband who cares about his wife. but like i said, i think his response is very telling, at least in regards to how much he actually values morgan as a human being. i'm not religious anymore, but i have no problem with normal religious people. what i have a problem with is people like, fundamentalists who preach that their way is the "best way" and the ONLYU righteous way to live. except when you actually look at it, their way is nothing more than a trap for most women, an ideology that indulges in victim blaming, shaming women, treating them like property, and sets them up to get stuck in abusive situations. and even if it's not THAT bad, they still make traditional christian marriage seem like the kind of loveless hell i'd rather die alone than be trapped in. thanks, but i'll take my healthy secular relationship complete with autonomy, trust and genuine caring any day
To see someone (the girl) CONSTANTLY being fake laughing sooooo obviously tense cause she just cannot relax and be herself... like.. thats not ok at all
I was stunned when she said an HOUR. Oh, child…regarding the last comment about the video, a perfect example of just how emotionally unhealthy it is, was when he said her crying would make a good intro click. Think about that? Your partner had a pure emotional reaction about your relationship and that’s what you thought of. I mean. 😶
If my partner blamed my period for expressing my opinion in a certain way, I would destroy him. It’s not really even funny to joke about (unless the person experiencing periods starts it) ESPECIALLY in front of an audience
It seems like they have awful arguments so often. It’s sad. Also they talk so so much about how much work marriage is and how difficult it is. Marriage shouldn’t be *that* much work. I don’t like speculating on another marriage (they put it all out there to the world, though), but it doesn’t seem like a good situation…
If I were to guess about fight sex, I'd say the point is excitation transfer. All the rage transforms into sexy energy. However, I'm pretty sure that's not what this pair are referring to 😅
Yeah, it really sounds like they go out of their way to be intimate regardless of how they're feeling or if they actually want to. We all know what it's giving, but I can't type it here
I hate how he keeps bringing up her period as if it is a trial God had given mankind to endure and we just need to hold on until it is over. Like he deals with it bc he has to??? If I was forced to be with a guy like that, I would never ever speak about my period or anything having to do with it to him ever ever ever again. That creep probably forces Morgan to mark her cycle on a calendar
Why is every TMI moment that Paul shares actually Morgan's business? 🤔 then he says "TMI for DMI 🤪" like, "you can't get mad it's for the video 🙃" like sir.. 🤦🤦 And the dig about her being on her period is just condescending. But that's how he usually acts, so I'm not surprised. Thank you, Paul, for showing me what I don't want in a man! Not being respectful about what someone goes through on their period is just a no from me. 🙅🚩🚩🚩
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Throwing up at the alter and crying at the thought of divorce are clear signs of intense fear of abandonment and rejection sensitivity. I’m no fan of her but it feels so cruel that Morgan’s mental health and anxiety issues are treated like a punchline and used as clickbait.
also throwing up at the alter is understandable imo; a very significant event in your life plus being the center of attention can be very anxiety-inducing!!
the saddest part to me is that she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder so these things to me seem like they could be clear symptoms of this and she and paul have both said that that diagnosis is invalid (obviously she knows herself better than me but this just makes me sad dude😭) it’s just so upsetting to me that they invalidate her like that
I was very concerned about her throwing up until I learned she has BPD. I completely understand why she would react that way. My heart goes out to Morgan
It’s not “clickbait,” it’s an actual point that was made in the video.
Also, P&M exposed *themselves* on this. You can’t exploit something people voluntarily broadcasted about themselves.
Perhaps the real issue here is: why do P&M feel the need to over-share so much? This seems like things they should be taking to a therapist, not putting on TH-cam.
@@anonomus8709 YES! at the end when he said “this was so therapeutic” I retorted out loud so is therapy! And it’s private, safe, effective, and can actually help you get through those feeling that will 100% come to the surface as soon as you cut the camera.
Paul has no respect for Morgan, and Morgan doesn’t know how to handle it except to laugh it off, but it clearly hurts her. It’s so uncomfortable to watch. He is so plainly and openly emotionally abusive toward her. I just cannot imagine being in a relationship with, much less marrying, a man who would speak so condescendingly toward me and put me down so publicly. It’s honestly so disturbing and extremely sad.
i feel like she did this to get things off her chest. she might not know how else to point of the negatives of her marriage without it being a game… she’s probably also being told this is acceptable. and i don’t feel like paul’s answers are genuine. or maybe they are and i’m just shocked someone can actually answer like that and mean it wholeheartedly….
She does it quite often to him on camera too, so I think they’ve got the problem that he’s an effeminate leader and she is an unsubmissive wife. His lack of leading will only perpetuate here anxieties and natural womanly will to usurp men. So I agree the responsibility first lies with Paul, I guess I just prefer to see Christ and His word as the lens and prognosis over emotions.
100% agree. Emotional and psychological abuse Red flags flying widely, Paul edits these videos and intentionally kept this in, a dangerous man displaying his control. It's so concerning.
omg, like how she starts crying and his first instinct is to laugh at her all "haha, look guys, she's crying." not to comfort her, explain himself, ignore the cameras, get up and be a human being for a second and go hug her. nope, it's just "haha, women on their period, so emotional, wife crying so funny, right guys?"
honestly it's disgusting. thanks, but i'll take my healthy secular relationship complete with autonomy, trust and genuine caring over this hellscape any day
Ok I’m not crazy! Ha 😅I was cringing thru the whole thing 😢almost everything he said? It’s like he’s constantly annoyed by her ?
The invalidation of her feelings due to her being on her period is insane. Your feelings can be valid even if they are more intense in the moment.
Yes!! Thank you. When I’m on my period i tend to see things more clearly even if it’s in a higher emotional state. The gaslighting is so unfair.
dear lord and even IF it would be right - its not ok to tell the whole internet about something that intimate!
It would be bad enough if he invalidated her feelings just because she was on her period, but what he did was even worse. He blamed her period for how she feels when she's not even on her period anymore. That means he probably pulls this shit for almost half the month. I can hear him already.
"Let's just keep in mind that you're period is coming this week."
"Well, your period just ended 4 days ago."
I am always having to explain this. Yes, hormones are what made me more expressive of my emotions, but they didn't fabricate an emotion or thought o out of nowhere, it's always stuff I've felt before and had thoughts
Seriously! I'll bet this is his go-to line every time he is an a-hole to her and she reacts like anyone else would! He just seems pathetic enough to do this. Yuck.
The fact that they openly laugh online about their problems… it’s like they don’t realize we can all see the pain in their eyes behind this forced laughing face… it’s so cringe and tragic honestly.
I have empathy ... it is a little tragic I agree
I have empathy, especially because they are essentially exploiting their own personal lives. Nobody does that unless they have serious problems.
i mean, laugh online about your problems, cool, that's whatever. but then don't go and act like your marriage is the pinnacle of perfection and prescribe people advice like you're the authority on healthy relationships. that's just wild to me
I’ve been married 36 years and my husband and I have had our ups and downs don’t get me wrong, but we have never had the level of problems that they have, especially in the intimacy area and they think they are having normal problems that all marriages have, I find them very toxic for each other, they have no business giving relationship advise
I’m sorry, but did Paul just publicly invalidate Morgan’s opinion because of HER PERIOD????
Yep. Totally on point for Paul and his character
he just loooves to bring her down
Yeah that squicked me out sooo much
It felt like he was trying to embarrass her
I condemn Paul to the glue trap, effective immediately.
Yep, more than once too! Everyone of their videos I’ve seen he either does this or reminds her that she wasn’t a virgin when they got married, he’s gross!
she just laughs at everything, really seems like a defense mechanism.
For REAL she feels trapped for sure it shows hella I’m body language and verbal cues like that
That's 100% my defense mechanism as well, very recognizable.
It’s a very awkward laugh
yeah, i laugh at stuff like that too. when i'm so uncomfortable i don't know what else to do and it's either laugh or cry about it.
Completely and its also a very fake laugh she has no fun at all
I didn't like Paul going after Morgan for packing to go to her parent's house. He wasn't bringing it up to ask her what her thoughts and feelings were when she did that, he brought it up to try and bring her down morally in their audience's eyes.
Yes and it’s not even bad to pack up your things and get away for a night if you need it. Getting space is okay married or not. It’s not like she was planning to leave and go to a bar and meet other men. Like calm down Paul lol
100%
he will take literally any opportunity to knock her down a peg and reclaim moral high ground. what a loser
'I might have thought about divorce, but YOU actually went and packed to go back home! I win!' - Paul (paraphrased)
Almost everything he says (seemingly joking) seems to be to either humiliate her or threaten her.
Every single piece of their content that I’ve seen makes me feel like they have absolutely no business trying to give anyone relationship advice.
I was thinking they have worse chemistry than Jon and Dany had in the final season of Game of Thrones
I think they've been married 6-7 years which isn't that long to give seasoned marriage/intimacy advice.
Girl, I've been with my partner for 13 years and have two pre-teens with him and I don't think I'm fitted to give that much relationship advices as they do... They just make me cringe most of the time...
@@openlybookishthey started their channel within a year of getting married, and they’re talking about how in the first few years they fought all the time and she packed a bag. They’ve never been fit to give advice.
The good side at least they show us how its not suppose to be like.
I don’t find them to be sincere or relatable but I do feel like I’m watching teenagers play house.
Agreed. Reminds me of my ex and I. Super cringe
“Two teenagers playing house” is probably one of the best descriptions I have ever heard of them
Okay my husband is a boxing instructor and wrapping someone’s hands is like a basic part of the job 🥴 Paul feeling threatened by that is genuinely sort of funny
Lol I thought the same thing, like Wtf? He’s so insecure
Right? It cast aspersions of their apparent lack of jealousy for me... like what you are describing is not matching your assessment of your comfort level, buddy
I thought this too!!!!! I have personal trainers in my family who have to do the same with their clients. It’s not flirting. It’s literally their job
I thought the instructor wrapping her hands seemed pretty normal but I’ve never boxed so I didn’t want to assume 😂
Sis, it’s as normal as a doctor rubbing a patients chin with both hands to check for lymph nodes when they are sick 😂😂 they are not trying to kiss you.
Interesting how Paul famously keeps shaming Morgan on not being a virgin at marriage but has considered divorce where Morgan says only sexual immortality is grounds for divorce in their belief. Does that mean Paul still considers Morgan de facto still sexually immoral to this day for not saving herself and chose to marry and hold this over her anyway? He can leave any time because she ruined her sexual morality before meeting him? Why marry someone you think is unsaveably morally failed if not for feeling superior at every point in the marriage?
Probably … I feel like Paul views himself as even higher than Morgan (bc of course he’s a man, so he’s higher up) since he was a virgin. If he really didn’t care or worked through it, why bring it up so often.
@@8OH3_ I was contemplating this some more think it's somehow both superiority and inferiority complex? I doubt he couldn't have found another God-fearing lady who hadn't lost her virginity yet but then he'd have to make more of an effort to be a good husband/person because they'd be on equal grounds. He just always has the high ground now so he can feel good about himself and win all of the time.
@@marlyd ooh that tracks to me. It’s a permanent “see how amazing I was to marry this impure woman” pedestal to stand on. I think I heard somewhere else that he was creeping around high schools after graduating looking for a wife. He doesn’t strike me as the brightest fellow, so looks and a v card were prob all he was bringing to the table aside from his cockiness in his appearance.
I was thinking this exact same thing. Generally she just seems miserable and LOADS of the content they make are focused on her or she’s in the hot seat about what she did. It just makes me so sad.
I actually interpreted this as Paul considering divorce because he's been tempted to cheat/he wished he was free to pursue someone else. But yeah, it's pretty messed up that, if this is their only hardline requirement for divorce, he can peace out at any time and still blame Morgan.
She said she NEVER thought of getting a divorce, so her packing her stuffs was her distancing herself from the situation. It was more about recentering herself.
He may not have packed up his stuffs, be he thought of getting the divorce, so in my eyes she is the most "morale" one
Her virginity should never have been anybodys business and certainly not for youtube consumption. She probably should never have shared that. Knowing men like this who have huge egos and zero maturity /empathy, I would have advised her to keep it between her and Jesus
PAUL DID NOT TRY TO SPIN THE DIVORCE QUESTION TO MAKE HER THE BAD GUY!!!!
I feel so bad for her. I wish she’d pack her stuff and leave him for real.
While Morgan came across more aggressive in this video, I wonder if her underlying sense of irritation towards Paul is a result of his seemingly constant pointed jabs.
We hear so much about her “sexual immorality”, her laziness (she’s diagnosed with depression) her willfulness to take the lead in the marriage.
Even when Morgan had a valid reaction to finding out Paul considered divorce, he couldn’t just let her have a moment. He made her hold his hand, then threw the time she packed to visit her parents back in her face. He couldn’t just let the strong moment breathe, he had to remind everyone of a time Morgan failed in his eyes
I often wonder what would have happened if Morgan had swiped right on a more progressive Christian. Maybe I’m giving her too much credit, but I feel like she’s saying what Paul wants her to say, whereas if she met someone who didn’t weaponize her “sexually immoral past” at every turn, didn’t use religion to undermine mental health treatment, and just didn’t feel the need to sneak in little jabs all the time, would she be a more pleasant and tolerant person?
I absolutely think she would be a LOT different with a progressive Christian.
given where she started out, i think yeah, if she'd ended up in a healthy relationship with a normal christian, one that still shared the same religious values, but not to an unhealthy fundamentalist style extreme, then she would've ended up in a much healthier place.
i think a lot of who she is and what she does now comes from never healing from any of her problems (like the mental health struggles, etc). and instead, she ended up in this toxic relationship with someone who gaslights and manipulates her, to the point where she honestly believes the toxic BS she's spouting is righteous.
and it's sad, cuz if she'd ended up in a healthy relationship, one that allowed her to heal, seek genuine mental health treatment, express herself in a healthy way, all of that, Morgan could've become a lovely person (in addition to being WAAAAY happier)
but nope. now she's stuck in a marriage that she doesn't even seem to want to be in, trapped by her own beliefs, and she's internalized them and paul's BS so much that she honestly believes this is as good as ti can get for her
I often feel like Morgan is always coming across as this weird mixture of childish aloofness and putting on a show, it kind of comes across like she is almost drunk? Her shows of happiness feel manufactured. The constant laughing about everything is very jarring. It reminds me of an interview I watched with a young man who had escaped growing up in a cult. He would laugh at inappropriate times, when something wasn't remotely funny, and it felt very uncomfortable, but he did it because that is what he was taught to do by his cult. Look happy, no matter what, because if you're unhappy it might make people think something is wrong with your beliefs, so you must always present your life as joyful.
Morgan’s giggle makes me so anxious !!!! It reminds me of when I was little and trying not to get in trouble
Bingo. I think it's her main coping mechanism.
Spot on. It is so unsettling
8:54 Morgan *picks she disagrees that TH-cam is the best job*
Us and B “hmm wonder why”
Paul “so Morgan is on her period”
Good heavens. Every-time I hear Paul say something he just confirms the type of person he is. Just a major eye roll of a person
I'm just gonna say these people seem palpably unhappy and watching them is always super awkward and uncomfortable for me.
Jesus Christ him demanding her hand while she’s crying after learning he’s considered divorcing her is soooo fucked up
Yeah, demanding intimacy when your partner is upset feels so gross. He can't just let her be upset, he needs HER to comfort HIM
I know he makes a big deal about needing sex even when she's mad at him, and that interaction feels like an extension of that mindset.
It feels abusive to me. He shames her for not being a virgin. Tells her he considered divorce to make her feel terrible. Then he holds her hand to show her how much he loves her despite her mistakes. Next video she will once again be shamed for something and then he will tell her he loves her despite her flaws. Up, down, up, down. Love bomb, devalue, love bomb, devalue.
My jaw also dropped when he tried to turn around the divorce answer and make Morgan feel like she had gotten closer to doing that than him even though he was the one who put he'd thought about it and Morgan had never thought about it.
Exact same dude!!! Mouth fully open in shock, out loud I asked “are you fucking kidding me right now?” While he was trying to put it on her
Gas lighting her. 😡
Paul redirecting the divorce conversation to make Morgan the “more wrong” one when he clearly hurt her feelings was so unsettling. I can only imagine what kind of things he does when they’re actually arguing
...They were actually arguing?
They said so, they were kind-of in the middle of an argument.
Another thing I immediately thought of about the phone thing is, no matter how much I trust my partner, sometimes I have conversations with friends where there share personal details with me it would not be appropriate to share with anyone else. Not wanting my partner to stumble across those isn't an issue of me not trusting my partner, but rather an issue of me deserving the trust my friends put in me by being vulnerable with me
oops I just watched farther in the video and you make the same point during the next question. Great minds think alike I guess
It’s dangerous for them to believe that absolute personal transparency with your partner equates to them having access to the personal private matters of everyone in your life.
It’s a little strange that Paul looks directly at the camera, instead of Morgan, as he’s explaining himself after she was crying.
Omg, good catch! It's like he's more concerned about what the audience thinks of him than comforting Morgan.
I was concerned about that too. Like “PAUL! Your wife is crying about something you said that you KNEW was hurtful and you’re more concerned about the audience??”
So…is anyone else wondering whether Morgan’s laughter is a “fawn effect”? I feel like a lot of their streams lately are, at the very least, unwise in what they share, and at the worse, pretty worrisome.
@arura5124 OMG, I love Sheila Gregoire’s work! There’s a reason why her stuff is getting so much traction! 👍
Yes, absolutely
Every time morgan laughs through pain or shame or awkwardness, my heart breaks a little. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and her reactions remind me so much of myself at that time. I really hope she’s okay and that I’m just reading too far into it.
This!! Yes if you’ve lived through an abusive relationship like this you recognize her behaviors too well
Ok just got to the divorce question. As a Christian I would say sexual immorality would be something a couple could work through. MUCH MORE than an abusive partner! A person could cheat and repent and never do it again. Not saying you HAVE to stay. If it is your line you can’t come back from by all means leave but that is much easier to come back from than a super toxic abusive relationship!!! WOW cannot believe they feel that way!!!
Yeah, the fact that they implied they neither of them would leave if their relationship turned abusive really shocked me. That, and the admittance that they go out of their way to be intimate while being angry with each other (and when maybe one or both don’t want to) makes me really worried about what’s happening behind closed doors.
as a former christian who was also married young, i have some thoughts: 1) dating should be longer for most all christian couples 2) many of the things they addressed towards the end are red flags for me. esp since i’ve had similar reflections and me and my husband are now divorcing. 3) i think if you love and respect each other and are equally willing to do the work, a marriage can survive a lot. infidelity isn’t necessarily the end. so you’re right about that. but also, like you said. you don’t have to stay. to me, marriage really should be viewed like a business contract imo. you don’t jump into a business. you don’t jump out of a business. crap happens. you can work thru it or move forward depending on how committed you are.
I find it interesting that Morgan mentions there are other scenarios/reasons, but they won't go down that road/talk about it. 🥺
@@openlybookishright, they're okay with tmi as long as it doesn't make paul look bad
That was painful. I often feel like their laughter, especially Morgan's, is a cover and it makes me uncomfortable and worried about her.
All of Paul's behavior over the years has convinced me he's an abuser. Period. He does not give an actual hell about this woman, he wants to possess, control and shape every aspect of her life, and he's DEEPLY offended the moment she disagrees or turns the tables.
I truly hope she gets out one day.
morgan's reaction to paul's divorce answer broke my heart a bit honestly, i really hope she's okay
Same, I felt so bad for her during that part 😔
She’s not. Obviously.
The fact that when it came to thoughts on divorce, Morgan’s reasoning came from scripture and Paul’s reasoning came from reality and his emotional just tells me that religion isn’t for men. It’s to keep women and minorities in check and give men a “manual” to resort to for excuses.🙄
I've always felt weird about Paul and seeing him invalidate Morgan's emotions is honestly heartbreaking. Morgan is a totally different person online after marrying Paul and I do think he is emotional abusive towards Morgan.
I just keep getting alarm bells that he is emotionally abusive to her
I mean, he does it on camera.
I find myself often feeling bad for Morgan. The way she uses laughing as a coping mechanism. The fact that she has untreated mental illness because she trusts faith to heal everything. The way she has hinted at how Paul isn’t the most giving partner in the bedroom and expects to be intimate even when they are fighting. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has used the fact that she wasn’t “pure” when they got married against her multiple times. I see so much insecurity and feeling of inadequacy in her and she could truly thrive if she was able to 100% be herself.
He does use her supposed 'impurity' to manipulate her- literally crying about it on camera while she becomes more and more frantic and upset trying to calm him down. It isn't wrong for men to emote but he is cruel and ridiculous.
@@azuredystopia3751 it's exactly that. men having feelings? totally fine and normal? using those "emotions" to manipulate your partner? that's abusive
I remember watching one of their videos where they talk about why they still have sex when they are mad, and it really just came down to Paul feels insulted if she won't have sex with him whenever he wants, including if they are arguing. It very much feels like a power play on Paul's part to feel as though he still has access to her sexually no matter what.
@@DimaRakesah oh he very much does. and i think it comes down to this dated mentality where women should "serve" their husbands, you know, because women aren't real people who have autonomy. they're just objects that are here for the use of men.
it gives ownership vibes to me. and somehow, paul's convinced morgan that having sex with him even if she's not feeling it is her wifely duty and not something she's allowed to be upset over. it's so gross
I appreciate your commentary. I’ve watched quite a few. As much as I don’t like Paul or Morgan as people, I did feel for Morgan at the divorce question. I feel like Paul is purposely mean at times bc he knows she won’t leave unless there’s cheating involved. The laughing was definitely a coping mechanism.
I almost felt bad for Paul at the “sex lasted a long time… it was around an hour”. I definitely thought she was going to say multiple hours. Paul also strikes me as someone who isn’t very good at it (selfish) so the hour probably felt much longer. For me, I’ve seen very few, if any, redeeming qualities for Paul aside from being stereotypically good looking.
Morgan laughs so she doesn’t throat punch Paul.
This was my same thought as well. When women start laughing when emotions are high I never consider it as a good thing. It's actually kind of terrifying to watch
If Paul’s family is anything like Paul then I could easily imagine that they may be more annoying than most
Morgan is laughing wayyyy too much for this whole video to have not been funny at all 😅
Agreed!! Her laugh seems insanely fake & forced too!
@@PerriDatingCoach its bc shes uncomfortable imo
Borderline Personality Disorder?? Who diagnosed her?
This "game" is something that would trigger BPD. Abandonment issues are deep and she deserves therapy, respect and kindness.
I wish they’d talk about these things in therapy instead of on TH-cam.
This!!!
Or even just in private…
Why is it so tense between them always. Even with Morgan laughing, it feels like Paul is going to explode and then give her the silent treatment once the cameras go off. Idk. I just always feel this air of tension between them. It's not like regular couples who are just easy with eachother.
Omg the fact she was counting down first night to be over is hilarious. They are a walking red-flag
As a lesbian watching this I laughed my ass off when they said an hour of sex is a long time iykyk (but also my god is this hard to get through, the PAIN in their laughter is palpable)
Hahaha as a fellow lesbian, I thought the same 😂😂
I mean if they were doing just penetration for an hour, yeah, that's way too long. My shit would be dry, numb and over it.
I HIGHLY doubt a ton of foreplay was in that single hour
I'm a bi woman married to a lesbian and lemme tell you my jaw DROPPED 😭💀
I'm atheist and LOVE your commentary. It is kind and full of common sense and your love for your religion is beautiful. You spread a positive message and that's what's important.
SAME. I'm not religious in the slightest, but especially in today's world, where the loudest voices that speak on religion are conservative, ultra right wing, fundamentalists, i think we DESPERATELY need more people like B representing the christian faith. people who spread the message that religion can be beautiful and fulfilling, but that it SHOULDN'T cause harm to others, that their religious beliefs don't excuse hatred or bigotry, and that their ideology SHOULDN'T put people in dangerous situations (like the kind of shaming and victim blaming and crap paul and morgan do that can be interpreted as an endorsement of staying in an abusive marriage, you know?
B is the kind of christian i love to see and the kind that helps remind me that not all people who are religious are awful. because she's just level headed and kind. definitely need more christians to follow in her footsteps
Also same. I walked away from religion a long time ago, first because of the way religious people around me acted. Full of hypocrisy and cruelty. They seemed to care more about following whatever rules they decided were "godly" than caring about fellow human beings and I just couldn't tolerate it. Now I just fundamentally can't justify an all-knowing god existing, it doesn't make any sense to me. However I can totally respect B's beliefs because she seems to treat others with kindness, compassion and understanding rather than using religion as a way to feel better than everyone else and to oppress certain groups of people.
Their marriage is doomed. Morgan is driving the struggle bus, Paul is the naughy child in the back. He utterly fails to meet her emotional needs on almost every level, yet demands to have his needs met. I worry about Morgan. She seems so dis-empowered 😢
It’s so weird to me that they basically always admit to fighting. Like a fight every once in a while is normal but I feel like every video I see shows them saying how much they fight. Maybe it’s because I only watch the reactions to their videos but still! Weird..
It's so weird to me that they put "*Morgan cries" on the thumbnail, like that's a selling point...??
Paul really likes to use Morgan’s emotions as clickbait
Right? I know most TH-camrs use clickbait but in this instance it just seems so sad.
@@BHaney yeah it honestly breaks my heart for Morgan. She reminds me of a friend. I hope she knows (or learns) she’s worth more than just being a reactionary clickbait resource for her husband.
I've been married ten years, I have no desire to cheat and neither does my husband, but I don't think it's necessary or healthy for spouses to go through each others' phones. My conversations with my friends are personal, and vice versa. If I want to share those things with my husband, that should be on my terms. And vice versa. I trust him. I don't need to know every single thing he's doing or looking at.
31:22 NOT PAUL GASLIGHTING MORGAN! Like is he really trying to be like “oh yeah you def wanted a divorce” cause she wanted space and probably a trusted a secure person to vent to!! I’m so glad Morgan clapped back and was like “yeah you’re still the a**hole who said he’d want a divorce”
This whole game they're playing is probably a great way for couples to grow their relationship... I just don't think it's beneficial for them or their audience to video it and post it on the internet. A lot of their reactions were obviously performative and uncomfortable for them.
I agree and couples could even do it with more low-stakes statements mixed in. It could lead to some cool conversations…in private not on camera lol.
8:40 I had to go back and re listen… “you did just come off your period” so she’s not even on her period right now??
How often does he use this to invalidate her feelings then? “You’re PMSing/on you’re period/just off your period” .. like does Morgan get like 1 week a month of valid feelings in his eyes or something????
Her laughing would get on my nerves an I always hoped it was an anxiety response. This proves it is, an I feel so bad for her that she has to “laugh off” her emotions. I’ve been here an I still am at times. So I guess I’ll try even harder to not let her squeaky laugh get to me 😢
Your face while listening to Morgan describing their first time having sex was hilarious. I could see this amazing cacophony of conflicting emotions that I can’t quite identify but also somehow deeply relate to lol.
I haven't reached that part yet and now I'm super curious
I am so confused by her thinking sex taking an hour was forever. As a couple whose been married for 13 years, there are times where my husband and I have enjoyed it for a couple of hours (rare, but they do happen!). Our first time the whole process was probably about two hours? And it was on our wedding night, like theirs was.
When she was talking about it going on forever, I thought about the times of my youth where I could go for 3+ hours… but one hour?? That’s a good time but definitely not “forever” lmao
@@Mamaroo92 idk i think an hour is a long time. For intercourse at least all together including other stuff yes thats normal
@@mollyryan5381 Morgan specifically said “from the time I walked out of the bathroom in lingerie to the time we were settling to sleep was an hour.” That timeline sounds pretty normal.
Omg I’m literally tearing up over her reaction to his answer. He’s just the worst.
(ETA: full on cry after your words about the divorce topic. Man. I’m sure someone needed to hear that so I appreciate you saying it. ❤
He’s still absolutely the worst tho. )
All Morgan's laughing makes me so uncomfortable. Clearly she's masking everything and it's her way of confronting what might be a difficult conversation for them, or even brought up later off camera. Like, she laughs at EVERY answer they put and it is such a red flag of how she feels in his presence when talking about serious topics.
I'm actually casting this on my TV but props for describing the scene for the people just listening, that's so thoughtful 💜
The fact that she was laughing uncontrollably then started to cry just *PROVES* she does that as a defense mechanism/when she’s uncomfortable. She always denies it but clearly she hides behind laughter. She laughs at *EVERYTHING*
In regards to divorce it was implemented by Moses by God’s instruction as a way to deal with the hardness of men’s hearts who were not taking care of their wives. I believe this carries into today. In the most simple of terms, if a spouse isn’t for you and creating a healthy marriage that is mutual, than it’s ok to go.
Thank you for sharing this... I was not aware. Must be why the stats show most women file for divorce, for sadly, some men often don't realize how they treat their wives
Win for the week: I met the sweetest old man at the grocery store last month and we had the most uplifting & lengthy conversation. I've been thinking about him ever since and just today I ran into him again :) We stood there in the store and chatted for 20 mins about all sorts of things. I found out both him and I love true crime 😅
Paul. Blaming Morgan’s displeasure or unhappiness with the situation on her period is the ultimate form of misogynistic gaslighting.
21:07 agreed. I feel like there is a sort of friendship HIPPA. Like just cause your aware of an issue, unless that person gives you consent or explicitly ask for your partners prayers or opinion, then the information is between you and the friend. This is especially important if it is the friend who is sharing and entrusting you
I always told my abusive ex husband that divorce wasn’t an option. He threw it in my face when I served papers. When I watched this video of Paul and Morgan is when I realized how reassuring it was to him, because he made me cement it into my brain that no matter what, divorce wasn’t an option… and then he started abusing me physically.
If they ever divorce, I hope Morgan gets therapy and possibly speaks out. I’m not saying Paul is abusive, but, he is awful.
I'll say he's abusive.
There's way too many textbook red flags in their videos and the way he speaks to her.
the fact that morgan had to hear for the first time that paul thought about divorce through this challenge says A LOT. i feel like they are both so immature and morgan constantly laughing shows how truly uncomfortable she is but cant do anything about it. i use humor to cope a lot so i get it but like wtf.... i think its okay to think about splitting because i constantly have doubts about my relationship and myself but i know those feelings and thoughts stem from my own insecurities and issues with myself and not because i dont love my partner or think he is not good for me and i have openly discussed that with him. also, the whole idea that the ONLY reason you should divorce is infidelity is also so problematic for many reasons but to me it shows how trapped women feel in "biblical" marriages. there are MANY valid reasons for people to divorce and that whole ideology is so toxic and dangerous for people who experience DA within these types of communities. they're answers are valid and their answers alone are not an issue, but their reasonings and the fact that they hadn't discussed this before until now is what i find an issue with.
My husband was very abusive our first year of marriage and we sought counseling because I love him with every fiber of my being. He became abusive after a freak horrible car accident we were in. The counselor was a heavy Bible oriented one and I told him I wanted to divorce my husband because of how much worse things had gotten and he told me I shouldn't divorce him because he hadn't cheated on me so it would be a sin for me to leave him and my husband agreedand they both tried to gaslight me to stay in the marriage. I said eff that and proceeded to get divorce papers and only at that point did my husband see how serious I was and understand how he infact was the problem and worked so hard on himself and did a 180 turn back to the man I fell in love with. We are good now and he continues to work everyday to right the wrongs he did. I know to some it sounds stupid to of stayed with him but I love him and don't want to give up on him. He knows tho I will leave him if he reverts back even the slightest bit
i’m not religious, but i really appreciate this video. it’s so refreshing to hear a christian say it’s okay to seek divorce in unhealthy relationships. so often far right conservative christians voices are amplified. hearing a young progressive christian voice is refreshing!
Going on forever equals an hour?!?! Oh my goodness. I was thinking she meant four or five hours
OMG the constant laughter I can't stand it!!!
Morgan is trapped with Paul. She’s a muted version of herself. Remember the music videos she produced before she was with him. She’s a good singer and she was actually really charismatic. Paul just dulls her shine.
SO much covering-the-discomfort laughter. Aaahhhhh
My win is that I went to a job interview and got an offer the very next day!:)
omg congrats!!! i have a job interview tomorrow so wish me luck
@@knjparadise good luck!! :)
Congratulations!!!
That’s amazing, Evie!! Congrats 🎉
And good luck, Jackie! You’ll do great 💛
win for the week: named employee of the months at work! totally unexpected but very nice to know that what i love doing isn’t going unnoticed ❤
That’s so cool, congratulations!! 🎉💛
Morgan's laughing has never not made me feel deeply uncomfortable, like she's using it to mask whatever negative emotion she really feels, NOT because she thinks the situation is funny.
True. It's a coping mechanism. It's a mask.
That was absolutely vile and extremely disturbing to watch.
Paul is abusing his wife on camera for views in the name of Jesus.
She is absolutely devastated, and she's completely gaslit.
My heart is broken for her ...
Win: got 3 job interviews this week after a month+ of applying and hearing back from no one!!
What makes me uncomfortable isn’t only Morgan’s constant laughter and passive aggressive remarks, it’s also Paul’s face.
He looks SO irritated when he looks at her and like he has all this pent up anger inside of him.. 👀 It’s hard to watch.
He hates her
Speaking of catchphrases, I really like yours at the end! "Please be kind to people"
My win: I got through a really stressful situation without having a full panic attack.
I don't normally comment but I wanted to say, I really appreciate and respect the content that you make. I align more with the atheist/agnostic ideologies but I love tuning in and hearing your perspective on this sort of content. It can be easy to develop a narrow view of religious relationships when you are on the outside so hearing your thoughts and ideas on how to maintain healthy and SAFE Christian marriage is both refreshing and grounding.
Your respect for those, like Morgan and Paul, who also identify as Christians with very different viewpoints is beautiful and caring and shows such grace.
Keep up the amazing content and I know that many of us non religious folk will keep watching because you are great!
"It went on forever!! An hour!" Oh, honey...
Morgan doesn’t seem stable. The fact she is the one that put that divorce question on there and was so surprised by his answer she got so hysterical
my win is that i got a job after 8 months of searching and yesterday was my first day and i love it (so far lol)!
Yay that’s awesome good job!
Congratulations on your new job! I hope you keep loving it💛
If she think an hour was too long maybe it's because it was so boring in that department
Exactly what I was thinking
I honestly don't know if that hour concerned just penetration or if foreplay was present.
Because if it's the former, yeah, an hour is WAY too long. And I don't see Paul as a man dedicating proper time to foreplay
You not having a poker face is something I relate to so hard 😂
Lol my mom used to tell me that no one would ever have to ask my opinion on something because my face told them how I felt before I even spoke 😂😭
@@BHaney SAME! I got myself in trouble plenty of times with my inability to control my face 😂
I hope this doesn't come across as judgemental or critical. Watching Paul&Morgan's videos when they're together makes me appreciate my husband even more, because he's nothing like that guy. I'm so grateful that my husband is (and became so while we dated) authentically my best friend. Paul&Morgan don't seem to be friends with each other, and I feel sad for them. It would my own personal hell to be in an obligatory marriage, where my partner didn't respect my feelings and perspective as valid and legitimate. Like when Paul blamed Morgan's "negativity" on her period, that... like it hurt my feelings to watch. My husband wouldn't ever do that to me, because he's my friend, and he supports my goals/desires/wants in life, and he respects that my feelings and perspectives are just as important to our lives as his. That whole video they made is really, truly a sad thing. I hope for them, Paul and Morgan can figure out a way to develop a friendship instead of just being married.
It’s so hard to watch. In my late teens/early twenties, I was engaged to a guy and fully immersed in the church/purity culture/gender roles. Morgan reminds me so much of my friends and myself at that age. You are just longing to be accepted by anyone (God), you truly believe that God has given you a second chance at redemption, so you are willing to put up with anything. Her throwing up at the alter and discomfort on their wedding night, remind me of someone who was unfortunately unable to process her emotions consciously and therefore, her body reacted. Paul, on the other hand, also reminds me of so many christian boys I was around growing up. In a religion of absolutes, they are not taught how to cope with the reality that they fall in love with someone who is not “pure”. They are taught that they just need to pick the right person and God will bless them. But, I think often times men are drawn to women like Morgan because of their authenticity and vulnerability. However that’s giving them the benefit of the doubt, there is also the likelihood, that consciously or subconsciously men are drawn to vulnerable/hurt women because they can easily manipulate them into being the women they want AND also the woman in that situation will just feel so grateful to be given a second chance.
Regarding the decision to be a youtuber/over sharing on the internet, I am so curious what made them decide to take this path. And I wonder if Paul wants to overshare because he believes in the end he comes out as looking like the better person when they are honest. I think this could explain part of the reason he always brings up her not being a virgin, etc. Not only is it something he blames himself for/is ashamed of (because the patriarchy also takes a mental toll on men), but I think it makes him extremely “virtuous” or “forgiving”. And anything he does, will never be that bad, from his perspective.
Man, I could write a literal dissertation about all of this LOL
update: just got to the bit about divorce and i didn’t want to speculate about her laughter throughout, but it just confirms exactly what i expected. Morgan laughs as a coping mechanism and to be honest, it just shows that whenever she does that - there is some emotion she is trying to suppress. I still think about that time she tried to go to therapy and I forget what her issue was with the therapist, but man I just hope she gets the help she needs.
Thank you for sharing. This was fascinating to read
My parents knew each other for about 5 months before they started dating. They had a similar group of friends that they hung out with and that's how they first got to know each other. They dated for 3 weeks, and then engaged for 3 months before they got married. My dad purposefully didn't ask my mom's dad for permission before he proposed because he knew it sounded so ridiculous. They are still married all these years later but my parents made it very clear that they were a very rare exception and that if I ever came home to say I was engaged to a guy I'd been dating for anything less than 6 months, we'd have a very serious conversation and a real possibility of them not coming to the wedding. All this to say that while there are exceptions, please please be sure before you get married and don't rush into it because of outside pressure.
@Trae They are not being hypocritical, they are being empathetic to the experiences of others. To say "this worked for me, but it might not work for you" acknowledges and validates that everyone is different and has different experiences. If they said "this was good for me so it MUST be good for others", that completely ignores that other people are different from them and also assumes they know best for everyone else. Her parents are being fair and level-headed.
I think them having been platonic friends for 5 months definitely helps in this situation. People don't hide/curate themselves nearly so much with friends, as with someone they're dating and trying to impress.
personally, i find it pretty telling (and appalling) that Paul's first instinct when Morgan gets legitimately upset, enough to start crying, is to laugh at her and go "ha-ha, look guys, she's crying!"
Not, forget the cameras for a second, let me comfort my wife, hug her, explain myself and tell her that "hey, you know our first few years together were difficult, so yeah, the thought crossed my mind once or twice. But I'm SO glad I never seriously let those thoughts in, because I love you and couldn't imagine my life without you." Nothing like that. He just laughs at her like "haha guys, women on their period, so emotional, so funny, am i right? lol"
and it's only after he realizes how genuinely upset she is and how crappy it looks does he try to do anything to comfort her. an it's only to take her hand at that.
like dude, you should've known this was gonna be an issue the moment she put her glass on strongly disagree, indicating she's NEVER thought about divorce, and you didn't. you should've known that real feelings would come up right then, and you should've stopped being a youtuber and a content creator right at that moment and started being a husband who cares about his wife.
but like i said, i think his response is very telling, at least in regards to how much he actually values morgan as a human being.
i'm not religious anymore, but i have no problem with normal religious people. what i have a problem with is people like, fundamentalists who preach that their way is the "best way" and the ONLYU righteous way to live. except when you actually look at it, their way is nothing more than a trap for most women, an ideology that indulges in victim blaming, shaming women, treating them like property, and sets them up to get stuck in abusive situations. and even if it's not THAT bad, they still make traditional christian marriage seem like the kind of loveless hell i'd rather die alone than be trapped in.
thanks, but i'll take my healthy secular relationship complete with autonomy, trust and genuine caring any day
To see someone (the girl) CONSTANTLY being fake laughing sooooo obviously tense cause she just cannot relax and be herself... like.. thats not ok at all
I was stunned when she said an HOUR. Oh, child…regarding the last comment about the video, a perfect example of just how emotionally unhealthy it is, was when he said her crying would make a good intro click. Think about that? Your partner had a pure emotional reaction about your relationship and that’s what you thought of. I mean. 😶
Honestly, divorcing her might be a huge gift in disguise. Their content is so hard to watch, he's so callous with her 😢
Paul saying “you just got off your period” to the worldwide web is crazy
Win for the week: therapy is going well & I have a great therapist! 💙✨️
I know this is an old comment, but that’s so great! I’m now in the throws of finding a good therapist in my area, and it’s definitely a journey.
If my partner blamed my period for expressing my opinion in a certain way, I would destroy him. It’s not really even funny to joke about (unless the person experiencing periods starts it) ESPECIALLY in front of an audience
It seems like they have awful arguments so often. It’s sad. Also they talk so so much about how much work marriage is and how difficult it is. Marriage shouldn’t be *that* much work. I don’t like speculating on another marriage (they put it all out there to the world, though), but it doesn’t seem like a good situation…
Morgan laughs the same way the girls who bullied me in high school did 🥴
I had a baking night with my friend and cousin! It was really fun
Win for the week, I'm eleven months sober! 🎉
Congratulations!! What an amazing accomplishment ✨💛
Congrats! I’m proud of you, that’s really hard but you’re doing it!
Good on ya.
Wow!!!! That’s incredible! ❤
If I were to guess about fight sex, I'd say the point is excitation transfer. All the rage transforms into sexy energy. However, I'm pretty sure that's not what this pair are referring to 😅
Yeah, it really sounds like they go out of their way to be intimate regardless of how they're feeling or if they actually want to. We all know what it's giving, but I can't type it here
I always feel so gloomy and sad after watching these two. It brings up painful memories from my own unhealthy relationships.
I hate how he keeps bringing up her period as if it is a trial God had given mankind to endure and we just need to hold on until it is over. Like he deals with it bc he has to??? If I was forced to be with a guy like that, I would never ever speak about my period or anything having to do with it to him ever ever ever again.
That creep probably forces Morgan to mark her cycle on a calendar
My win for the week is being there for someone I care about who was going through a hard time. ☺♥🙏
Every video they do just comes off as so awkward and uncomfortable. Great video as usual!
This is so sad…they don’t look like they are happy with each other. It’s just so uncomfortable to watch them interact.
Why is every TMI moment that Paul shares actually Morgan's business? 🤔 then he says "TMI for DMI 🤪" like, "you can't get mad it's for the video 🙃" like sir.. 🤦🤦
And the dig about her being on her period is just condescending. But that's how he usually acts, so I'm not surprised. Thank you, Paul, for showing me what I don't want in a man! Not being respectful about what someone goes through on their period is just a no from me. 🙅🚩🚩🚩