Congrats on your engagement Hannah! Me and my partner came to see your Doing It Live Tour in Manchester, during the 'dating profile' segment, you coincidentally matched us up and we came on stage to meet you! You jokingly told us to let you know when the wedding is, well he proposed and we're due to be married in 2021! Your love matching skills appear to be pretty spot on! :D
My husband and I got engaged via a conversation - which basically went like "When are we getting married?" "March?" "Sounds good." Then we went to the courthouse, got married by a judge in front of his parents, his brother and my dad, then we went out to dinner with his parents and went home. The wedding was unimportant to both of us, we just wanted to be married and for everyone to know that was the level of commitment we had for one another.
My parents did the same thing. Dad asked mum do u want to get married but we will have to buy a new motor for the boat. She asked him why and he replied cause they would need the boat for the honeymoon. Mum said okay - still not sure if she was saying okay to the wedding or the boat motor
This was almost us and I really wish we could have agreed on a courthouse wedding. As it was, even our very small wedding was super stressful for me to plan and the same people who would have been mad anyway were mad. Should have saved some stress and money!
@@fuzzzysock We had a follow up tiny ceremony in the state where the rest of my family was and the whole time I was just like "is it over yet?". I hated it, so I know where youre coming from.
My husband proposed to me as we were about to get pushed down a snowtubing hill. We had already talked about getting married and I knew he would propose soon but didn't know when. He said "So when do you think we should get married? Like soon?" And then we were pushing down the snowtubing hill and I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard. At the bottom of the hill, he pulled the ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. It was perfect and simple and I think that was so important. Took a photo afterwards and we are in all our snow clothing and coats and looking ridiculous but we look so happy.
I was planning on proposing to my boyfriend in November this year on our 7 year anniversary. I saw your post on instagram about you having proposed to your bf, and I remember being happy to see another woman in a opposite sex couple do the same! I had a cute idea where an artist had drawn a comic book style poster with reference pictures of us from each of the years we've been together as well as text bubbles with things we'd said. The last image would be me saying "will you marry me?" I had even picked out my own ring because I thought 'hey, I'm gonna wear it, I could pick it out'. And then he proposed in September to my complete surprise! (without a ring, because he thought I would want to pick it myself) and I had to say" well.... I already have one!" So funny looking back in hindsight, like something out of a movie. 😅
What a great idea for a proposal! Seems to me like you could still pull that one off and return the favor :) Or maybe a version updated for your wedding vows as a wedding gift? Maybe a bubble that says "I Do"? Best of luck to you!
@@SamarkandChan Love this! Not sure what Charlotte's problem is... I've been with my partner over 6 years and we don't have any plans to get married yet!
@@padijeff5675 because she loves Dan? What kind of question is this? Should she just marry a woman to express her support for feminism or anything else? Definetly not.
@@halvedemi It's not about what she said but what @Padijeff commented to Ryan. Since the origianl comment is deleted, it was something like "why didn't Hannah propose to a woman?". And my comment is simply a reply to him. She didn't propose to a woman because she loves Dan and doesn't want to marry a woman only to show her support for feminism.
for me a ring would be important but that doesnt mean that it has to cost much. A cute 20 dollar ring would be fine but i would just like to have something that i could look at every day and be excited about the future together
I thought this too and was super proud that we found a very pretty Swarovski ring for about €40. Until I wore it for a couple of days and already noticed the metal start scratching and chipping. We've been engaged almost a year now and there's hardly any of the coating left and it's turning my finger green. I'm now having it remade in white gold so I can wear it together with my wedding band because I still absolutely love the look of it, but I am now wishing we would have gone with real silver or at least steel in the first place. By the way, silver doesn't have to be that expensive, he got me a €25 silver ring as a souvenir 3 years ago and I've been wearing that every day and it still looks fine.
@@iwasalllikeomg Just so you are aware (I wasnt until I started ring shopping), white gold is made white by mixing gold with other metals like nickel. It is then coated with rhodium which keeps it from tarnishing or turning your skin green. The downside is that plating wears off, so you will have to have it regularly re-coated to keep everything behaving. In your shoes, I would look at having the ring made in platinum which is nonreactive for most people and is similar in look to white gold.
Yes I don't really like wasting money And for me personally an expensive ring would make me super scared of damaging it or losing it Obviously if it's sentimental I don't want to lose it either but I'd rather have a simple cheaper one It's the meaning behind it that *means* a lot 😂 not the price for me But I understand people who want to splash out on a special ring too :)
Tanya F actually I’ve been wearing a white gold ring everyday for 10 years and it looks exactly the same as it did on the first day (except for like 1 or 2 tiny scratches that were actually my fault and could’ve happened with a “normal” gold ring as well). I don’t want to say that what you said isn’t true though, maybe I’m just lucky.
I’m a dude in a straight relationship. We’ve been dating for 5 years. We are also in this strange place where we’ve pretty much already started planning but neither has proposed however the expectation is very much on me. I’m not a huge fan of the pressure but I’m happy to make my girlfriend happy. Sometimes I worry it won’t meet her expectations but I’m sure it’s going to be fine.
my parents were just sat on the couch one day and said "should we get married?" and the other one was like "ok!", they've been happily married for 25 years now hahaha! you'll be fine :)
Just do it! No matter how you do it. Go get a ring (if you want to) next week, and then just ask her whenever (If you want to!). The proposal doesn't matter that much. Do it at home or on a walk or wherever. She will love it, she loves you!
I’m sure he’ll never say no to playing flux ever again 🙈 so excited for you Hannah!! Happy Engagement! I can’t wait to see photos from your wedding, I know it’s going to be so joyous 🥰🥰
I’d be so interested to know what your thoughts are on some other marriage/wedding social norms such as taking your husbands surname, father walking down the aisle, maid of honour, men doing all the speeches etc etc. GREAT VIDEO 💍💜 congrats on your engagement!!
My parents had a conversation and then my dad bought my mom a washing machine instead of an engagement ring. I think it was lovely, but not what I personally would like for me and my partner.
Literally I am that person that got married and when people asked me how we got engaged I had to say “we had a chat??” 😂 here’s to doing things your own way!
personally, I want an engagement ring because I treasure simple jewellery that I wear every single day and can touch/look at and feel happy and that means something to me because it comes from my partner. I don't want something pricey or super shiny, just something nice and elegant.
i guess my parents had a pretty “untraditional” engagement. they got “engaged” by mutually agreeing that it would be a good idea to get married for financial/tax reasons lmao. they had a very small ceremony at a registry office (my mum didn’t even wear white) and went to the pub with their friends afterwards. they didn’t go on a honeymoon, and they don’t have wedding rings (mainly because my mum doesn’t like how her hands look with rings on lol). 29 years later and they’re still going strong. i guess it’s because of them that i don’t really care about the traditions and conventions surrounding marriage (also because i’m gay so things will end up being a bit more non-conventional anyway)
haha yeah my parents got married (after they'd had 2 kids!) when my dad got a job in Texas and they needed to be married for the visa so my mum could go with him!
@@hannahwitton My parents got married after have 2 kids as well! I'm not sure their reason but I do know my mom went to sign the papers in her pajamas.
Love this story! My parents also had like 2 proposals (one per conversation and one I believe by my mum) before my sister and me were born, and they always considered them to be engaged but somehow life happened and so they married after being together over 30 years. But that time my dad got a ring and proposed while on vacation. Although really they had a conversation beforehand going a little bit like this "hey, we are getting old, and if someone of us gets hospitalized or dies then the other has no legal ground to work on, and everything gets complicated" sooo not much of a romantic reason really. 😁 But I liked being at the wedding as a grown up.
Evolve they were together for 8 years before getting engaged and have been married 20 years since, so not much worry there 😁 also obviously had talks about getting married in the build up to that
As a wedding registrar I meet lots of different couples with completely different stories of who proposed, why, when, how and the sort of wedding they want. I’ve been doing the job 10 years and it shows there’s no one size fits all when it comes to weddings and proposals x
my parents had a low-key but cute engagement where they were sat watching the sunset and my dad did that magic trick where he was like “what’s that behind your ear?” and produced the ring 💍🧙♂️
Yes, 100%. I read this title and thought she was going to explain why they were getting married vs just staying as de facto partners or whatever. I did not think it was odd that Hannah would do the asking
4 years ago, I got proposed by my boyfriend, then of 5 months (only), after I nearly killed us both in a car accident. He saw that I was shattered and that I thought he would leave me, so he proposed to me during the evening of the accident, with his broken watch. 4 years later I still have that watch, and I'm forever keeping it. We kept the engagement secret, knowing that it was not the time to display our affection thus. But now we talk openly about our futur marriage to our friends and family. I kinda want to propose to him, but I know he wants to do it again, and I kinda want the real traditional moment too. Anyway, I'm very happy for you both and I totally understand you!
My parent's got engaged by making a pros and cons list and then got married really quickly after the engagement. They've been married 30 years and still going strong and I love their engagement story, it always makes me laugh! Congrats to you two!
Oh I think in the vast majority of healthy relationships, people are "engaged" before they are "officially" engaged. I don't know any couple who had the proposal *before* having conversations about marriage. When true surprise proposals happen in real life, it tends to lead to bad outcomes where not everybody is ready or problems come up later that people didn't think through before committing to the engagement. It's a great thing to know you both want to get married before officially popping the question. In my own relationship (heterosexual), my husband did propose, but we had talked about it a lot beforehand, and I had even picked out the ring I wanted (he was positive that he would choose wrong if left to his own devices). So I knew full well it was coming, though I didn't know the how* or when. *He legit wrote me a fantasy novel with lead characters based on us. It was a rough first draft of a novel that needed some major grammatical editing, but HE WROTE ME A NOVEL. And he is not a writer. I cried.
We had various conversatiom for a while, then it kinda exploded in a convo that I felt we would split up after and he then said he has a ring at home but not with him and then I told him that I didnt want this nasty me crying my eyes out in a forest moment to be our proposal if he was fine with it. So he got a timeframe of a month to do sth special. I didn't tell anyone the following week and then he did sth cute and it was fine. It couldve been a small thing at home or out but not crying out of fear preferably.
I learnt this lesson from my parents. My dad did a surprise proposal to my mum after six months of dating... she said no (her parents had got divorced and she wanted to be completely sure before she said yes). Then he surprised her again some time later... no again. Only by the third time was she actually ready.
@@elexneonabingdon I love this. Being ready is important and so is being able to hear no when someone isn't ready and supporting them. Your parents sound cool.
I think my paternal grandparents did something similar. They had been together since my grandma was 15, and got married when she was 18. From my understanding there was never any kind of proposal, more that they just knew they wanted to be together so when she was old enough to marry they went ring shopping together (both people wear rings during an engagement where I'm from) and that was that.
My parents are the same, there wasn't a proposal moment just like an agreement after time. And then when dad got the ring made he just gave it to her I think.
Hey as someone who is older and been married for 7 years I think this video was thought provoking and fantastic! You are an awesome lady! Congratulations!
This made me so bloody emotional, because SAME. We got engaged in August, I asked him, we had already jointly decided we wanted to get marred beforehand. Congratulations ❤ the thing that surprised me the most is how HAPPY it made everyone! People flippin love an engagement!!! And so few people raised an eyebrow about it being me. Yay - happy chill wedding planning x P.s. I got myself a ring!
My mom proposed to my dad 30 years ago after dating for 3 months. She was like: « so should we get married? » and my dad agreed. Doesn’t sound very romantic but it was so obvious to them that they didn’t need to prepare a whole thing, they just new they wanted to be together forever 😊
I didn't get engaged until I was in my thirties (a few years ago), so I'd had a good amount of time to think things over, and being a feminist I turned my nose up a bit at the idea of all the traditional things expected from relationships In fact, my now-husband and I talked multiple times about how marriage itself wasn't important to us, and we had no plans to have children, so we were pretty comfortable with just being in a long-term relationship with the understanding we were fully committed for life. Then my husband lost his mom, and I think that maybe changed some things for him. He proposed in a non-conventional way (no ring, no knee), and I was very surprised given our previous conversations, but it was also really special. And our wedding day was also unique to us, and it was the best party I've ever been to :) Every couple has to figure things out for themselves. I think overall people want their relationship to feel special, and the best way to do that is to figure out what really matters to you and your partner. Congrats to you and Dan! And congrats to you both also for talking things through and deciding what's important to you and what's not.
I also proposed to my boyfriend in August, using a ring box I'd made out of Lego. And we've also been together 3 years! I was kind of surprised by so many people thinking it was a big deal that I did it. Congratulations to you both! ♥️
I'm a 19 year old bisexual woman and my current thoughts are that if I ever want to get married, I'd like to be the one that proposes, regardless the gender of my partner. So I'm really grateful that you did and shared this because now I don't feel like I'm the only person that thinks this way. Also, something I've seen and think it's terrible is when the one who's proposing asks the father her daughter's hand before asking her. It makes me feel like the wonan's live belongs to the father
30 years ago my Mum decided she was sick of waiting and if my Dad didn’t want to marry her, it was better to junk him sooner rather than later; so she proposed in the car, on the way home from a trip to their favourite pub. I’m amazed that 30 years on, the Metro ran a story - that, is the real shock!
My parents just agreed to get married on a random day. According to my mum this is how the conversation went: My mum: I think that we should get married. My dad: so do I. Mum: I’m being serious. Dad: so am I. Mum: ok. Dad: ok. It’s the most chill proposal ever.
aw i love this idea! i'm almost engaged myself (lol)! my partner and I have been together for two years and on a recent trip to guadalajara for a friends wedding we decided that it was time to really get serious. it was a very sweet and exciting conversation in this beautiful location and now we're planning on getting our ring sizes on our third year anniversary-- I'm very excited :) congratulations hannah and dan on the engagement, marriage, and now baby!
I proposed to my husband. And he always said it was biggest compliment he's ever had! It's so empowering and I felt no pressure to do it a certain way! Totally recommend x
Our engagement and proposal story has been all out of order, and I absolutely appreciate doing certain things to make it make sense to other people. And what made it more complicated was that each of our families have a different understanding and cultural traditions in the whole wedding thing! Some people consider us married now, some people see us as engaged. We see it as half way married aha. I am very glad to hear your story and explanation 😊 resonates a lottt
Congratulations! I am so ready for our favourite productivity/organisation queen to spill the tea on wedding planning! (If you two don't want it to be a private thing of course :) While the process would be fascinating to know more about, I totally respect that we all have to have boundaries at some point!)
7:15 Oh, this is totally my reason why I want to get married soon (me and my partner have been together almost 5 years) - I'm like - I have a friend who's known her husband for a year altogether and in the society, they're respected as a proper couple who are serious about their relationship while I get a lot of "yeah, boyfriend, right". And I want that because I feel like when it comes to the level of commitment we've been in the "marriage, wanna be together basically forever" for years now. I'm a pragmatic person, always have been. Also - I had no idea Shan got married, that's so awesome! :) Congrats to Shan&Jared and of course Hannah&Dan!
JudyCZ honey don’t pressure him, sometimes men aren’t sure about what they want! If you are afraid he will make you wait until your best years are gone, assess why you love him and if he makes your life better. Who cares if others move fast, divorce rate is almost 50% so obviously there are tons of people making poor decisions. If being married is more important than having him in your life, you have to let him go
@@gladlock I'm not pressuring him, don't worry. :) We had a talk about it in July that was very honest, so I think we're good; no one's having to guess what the other wants, etc.
Hearing your story and what's important to you is so cool! I've wanted to be the one to propose since I was 14. Now I'm 21, and I still haven't seen any real-life examples of a woman proposing to a man, so thank you so much for sharing! School House Rock's song "Mr. Norton" had a lyric that said "Who says women can't propose?" in it and I think that planted the idea in my brain when I was like 4. Then, I saw the musical version of Legally Blonde, which changes the ending so that Elle proposes to Emmett, and that was what really sealed the deal. I even got to play the role of Elle as a senior in high school, so the idea of proposing is really special to me. Also, it's so great to know that you aren't traditional about rings! I just really hate wearing rings and I would get paranoid about the ring being unsanitary, so I've been thinking about maybe doing an engagement/wedding necklace instead, but I always worry people will judge me for that choice. (I'm aggressively single though and don't want to get married for several years, so I have some time to decide haha) Thanks for teaching women that we should be empowered to choose whichever aspects of tradition we like and discard the ones we don't. :)
So happy for you! congrats!! Our story: we had been together for 6 months, walked around the city laughing and talking and I just went:" should we get engaged?" and he said:"yeah!" :D 6 years after that we got married at a magistrate with two friends as witnesses, we sent pretty postcards to our family to announce the marriage, and had a little get away vacation. People were a tad shocked, some were even a bit disappointed and angry. They were okay in the end though. we did it this way for ourselves! If we had realized we don't have to do what everyone else is doing when they get married we would've gotten married years before. It always got us both anxious when we started thinking about how to do the wedding. Thank goodness we ended up doing what was best for us! We've been married for almost 7 years, together for almost 12. We do have rings but I don't wear mine due to joint pain. They were not expensive though, mine was like 55 euros.
I bloomin' LOVE the message behind this story, that people should choose their own path and not be afraid to do things their own way! So lovely! Thanks for sharing!
Love that emerald ring, I wore it the whole time when I was in my 20's, but was scared cos the emerald was getting scratch so put it back in Granny's jewellery box, love that you want to wear it as your engagement ring, that is so cute....xxxx
my girlfriend and i have talked openly about marriage and what it means to us. it’s really nice to be able to be fully honest and discuss differents parts of it like which one of us wants to propose (both of us), how traditional we’d want the proposal + wedding to be (surprisingly lot), and when we’d get engaged (still not for many years as we are only twenty). i loved this video! very fascinating to see everyone’s take on marriage.
Congratulations! I'm in a similar, we already feel engaged, sort of boat. A lot of people in my life find it weird that I know that my boyfriend is going to propose in february when we go to disney world. I even know the day. But all of the other details I'm in the dark about. This was super important to him, that hes the one who does the asking. Otherwise, I would have no problem asking him. We already know we will be getting married. We know we are making the conscious decision to be life partners. But he wanted to formally ask, so that's how its gonna be
I LOVE this! I proposed to my fiancé last fall because he wanted me to! I picked and bought myself an engagement ring, and he picked out a nice watch for him to wear in instead of a ring, and I planned a whole thing! He was thrilled, and loves it because I gave us an adorable story to tell!
of course there's no judgement and this is just a question but why do you also want him to propose? That kind of surprised me after all the other points in this video. What's the purpose/meaning of that for you? would love to know x
My husband asked my parents for their blessing and I was there. We already had a date and everything but he still proposed while we were on a hike with a none expensive but beautiful ring. I love having that memory and the fact that he did it without me bringing it up. It meant a lot to me
i asked my partner pretty early on in our relationship how long he'd have to be with someone before getting married and he said five years, so i immediately set a reminder on my phone for five years from the day we got together called 'propose to nicholas'. we're both v queer but he's the one ppl would assume to be the 'man' in the relationship
I recently got engaged and waited for my partner to pop the question because we talked about it before and he was clear that he wants to be the one to do it. But this weekend I'm "proposing back" to him because I love surprising him and he loves surprises and he even joked a few times about me proposing to him so I think he will really really love it. I agree with you Hannah - make your own rules and make your relationship your own! :)
You are just so fabulous! I love that "you do you" and are unapologetic about asking for what you want in life (consensually of course). I'm so glad that you've found someone who has similar values and supports your choice to not follow certain social scripts.
After I voted I thought to myself "wasn't it contradictory?" 😅 Shoot, I think we need to see more women in opposite sex relationships doing it. It's really inspiring! Hopefully mindsets will shift someday soon 😆
Congratulations on the engagement! So happy for you two! Why shouldn't you propose?! Also, I remember you being single and NOT ready to mingle, so the fact that you're engaged now gives me the feels... PS love the orange lip and earrings combo, so aesthetic!
My boyfriend has a lot of nerves surrounding the potential of being the one to propose, so he asked that I be the one to propose, which is great, because he cares about a ring and I don't. He told me that he wants it private, and told me his ring size and what kind of ring he'd want. So, though we're not ready for engagement yet, I'm glad we know what we want to do when the time comes, and I'm excited about the idea of proposing to him!
When my mom and dad got engaged there wasn't anyone who got down on one knee. They just kind of agreed to be engaged and changed rings. My cousin and her fiancee did the same (but a lot of years later).
Re: wedding planning, my fav resource was A Practical Wedding (both website and book). As you might guess, it’s very practical and down to earth advice. One of the main pieces of advice I appreciate from it is pick the three or so things you really care about (dress, food, photography, etc) and everything else realize it’ll get done one way or another, but you’ll drive yourself crazy if you try to control every single element of the event. It really helped me lower my stress throughout the process.
I don't think you need to get those accomplishments out of the way first. Love is love, no matter your status or big things you succeeded at. Good luck on your proposal!
@@ItsaboutbeautyNl That is true, but we've had conversations about marriage and it's important to me to graduate college and get a job first. It's just our choice. 🥰
Absolutely love this! My boyfriend is 24 and I'm 26 and we're kind of at this weird point where I'm ready to be married but he still feels too young (we've also been going out for 5 years). We've been talking about this A LOT lately and realized a lot of the pressure I feel is based on the friends around me getting engaged/married and the image I had for my life at this point when I was younger. Through the chats we've been having recently settled on how many more years we want to wait, when we want to have kids, and all the financial planning that comes with that. He will be the one to propose (and he's asking BOTH my parents) but in a lot of ways the knowing when it will happen and the fact that we are planning to own a home by then and be in a financial place to support a family makes it all the more romantic to me. Our future is more important than a ring and a ceremony and I couldn't love him more for helping me learn that. Congrats to you and Dan!!!
I love that you did it and this was right for you. My husband proposed but that felt like the right thing for us. My feminist spin on the tradition was this: Women do most of the emotional labor in the relationship. This gives men a task that falls squarely on them if that's what's best for the couple
that’s nice. i don’t think we should need a reason, most people have a preference of whether they’d rather be proposed to or propose, so just go with that. at the end of the day, ya just a question that you probably know the answer to anyways
Congrats!! My husband proposed with tarot cards to me! I totally agree with what you were saying about "already" being engaged. We wanted to elope but both have big families that wanted to be involved in some way. So our engagement (four months before the elopement) was a way of us telling everyone what was coming.
Congrats! I love that you've done it your own way! My husband and I decided to get married a few months ago. There was no big proposal, nobody dropped to one knee, nobody even popped the question really. It was just a discussion about the future and we both agreed we want this so let's do it. No ring, no fuss. We gave notice of marriage, then we asked his sister and her partner to be our witnesses and voila! We were married 2 months after. We told our families after we eloped, they were shocked but chuffed. I'm so glad we did it our way. I am a huge advocate now for doing it the way it feels right for you. Engagement, marriage, the whole shabang. Do what feels right. Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness!
I'll start with congratulations on your engagement! I'm in a same-sex relationship (both men) and we're 3 years in, have lived together for most of it (over 2 years) and have talked casually about marriage and future plans like career and kids. We've established we want to get married at some point and I sometimes refer to him as my husband for extra cuteness but I feel like engagement and marriage should wait for a few more years. We're both young yet (21) and I figure if we're gonna be together forever anyway, it wouldn't hurt to wait a few years to get hitched. In terms of engagement, I'm the more romantic person in the relationship and I have made more active plans about proposal so I'd probably be the one to do it though honestly I'd be thrilled either way.
I'm 27 now and have been with my partner for 10 full years now, marriage really can wait and isn't as important as some people make it out to be. Just enjoy being with each other and do all the legal stuff later if you want to. If not, then don't because this is the 21st century and a lot of people never marry but still have been with their partners for decades. Wish you all the happiness for your future!
Some people fancy the traditional way but some are pressured to follow those paths. So I think it’s important to step back and think “do we like doing things like this? Or like this?”
Congratulations (even tho I saw on your socials) but it such an interesting thing about dan saying you’re already engaged as me and my boyfriend have always said they same. None of us have officially proposed to one of enough but we basically class ourselves as because we are as much that then not tbh.
This is awesome! My husband and I definitely had a conversation before the proposal. It was important to my man that he did the asking. He also listened to my plea for no engagement ring (didn't want one, for ethical reasons). It was a beautiful moment next to Lake Michigan and then we had a courthouse wedding three weeks later! I say do what is important to the two of you.
Skylar S I’m not trying to be judgmental here, but if the traditional proposal is important to her why did she decide to propose? It feels so contradictory, I’m so confused.
Congrats! We did it the “traditional” way in that my husband proposed to me but we had already had several conversations about marriage and engagement and so knew that we were both on the same page! He knew I didn’t want anything public so he just proposed in our living room but it was sweet and personal to us and that’s what matters 😊
congrats! I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years, and we do plan on getting married (probably not until 2025 or later tbh, because we're both studying long term (both want to be doctors and that's a long-ass journey lol)). I'm going to propose to her probably within the 1-2 years before we plan on getting married. I already see her as my life partner/wife/fiancee/whatever, but I am really excited to officially tie the knot, though I know that we're nowhere near ready for that life stage yet and we are still way too young to have the sort of married life we both want. We've already talked a lot about engagement and we are both on the same page in that I will be the one to propose. As much as it may be heteronormative, proposing to the love of my life is something I have always wanted to do, I've always wanted to plan something special and make the event memorable, and my gf also has said she would rather be the one to be proposed to, so it kinda worked out. I'm also trans and one of my goals for my life, when I was coming to terms with my gender identity (we're talking like 10 years ago when I was only 13-14), was getting married and engaged and going through those big life changes as a man, and how I saw it in society is how I've always really wanted to do it. By no means are we following through with anything toxic or antifeminist that we don't agree with because that's how we feel we are meant to do it or something, but we are probably going to be fairly traditional bar certain traditions (eg asking her father for his 'blessing', being handed over etc), which we probably will go about in our own way? I think as long as the people getting married are on the same page and want the same things (or are willing to compromise) it shouldn't matter how it's done or who does what. Love is love, engagement and marriage is what you want it to be!
I've already completely planned my proposal lol. I know where and how I want to do it, but not too sure on the timing as it'll depend on when we graduate and where we are at. The only thing I haven't really thought about is the ring. I've got a good friend who's dad is a goldsmith so I will probably go to him sometime closer to arrange something custom. My girl is pretty chill and not really one for big flashy things, so I'll probably just go for something pretty minimal and subtle, with a matching chain so she can wear it around her neck when she needs to for work. I plan on doing the same for my wedding band.
I love this so much!! My fiance and I got engaged a couple months ago (he proposed to me), but I also plan on proposing to him with a ring (because we both want rings), and then for our wedding we plan on engraving each other’s rings, and the engravings will be a surprise for the wedding. We are loving picking and choosing the traditional parts of marriage that we enjoy, and making it more fun for us.
Congrats on the engagement ❤ I have been with my current partner for just shy of 4 years and am dying to propose to her. We have talked before about marriage etc and she was keen but not excited. Hoping to get the nerves together and take the plunge when I feel the time is right x
My (male) fiance proposed to me in July, but we too were already sort of planning a wedding. He's known for years that it's important to me to get married in January and last year at Christmas, he said that he thought a January 2020 wedding could happen for us. It was a whole conversation. For me, that feels like the moment we got engaged, even though the official proposal didn't come for seven more months. I really hated the whole "big question" thing for myself, like it was taking away my autonomy. We'd spent four years being in a partnership, making decisions together, so I really pushed back against the traditional "man buys the ring, plans surprise proposal and woman has no idea what's coming." I do have an engagement ring, which I picked out myself. I love it so much and I'm glad it was a decision we made together. And now we're getting married in 37 days!
Husband and I got engaged while walking in the town we first met, by the beach. We've been talking about marriage for a long time, and that afternoon we were like "so are we engaged for real? Yes", then walked two blocks to the next jewelry shop, bought 2 silver plain bands (sooo cheap), put each other's rings (customary here in Argentina to wear the engagement ring on the right hand and the wedding band on the left) and started planning. We both wore the engagement ring (not really common), we walked together down the isle (we are free people choosing each other, no one "hands me down"), I made my own wedding dress in a cream color, and we did it at midday with less than 80 people. It was glorious, and the best decision for us. Make the traditions your own and it will be amazing 💕 congratulations!!! Best wishes to the both of you.
My husband and I were friends first, we hung out everyday for a year. When he “proposed,” we were at my home. He was working from home (at my house) while I was paying my bills. He asked me “I think we should get married, what do you think?” I told him I agreed and then we both agreed on a date and also a Vegas wedding. We were of course happy and then we went back to what we were working on. Our wedding was not a small event because his parents (without us knowing) invited everyone they could. In a tiny chapel we had 60 people in total, which was fine cause the wedding was only ($120 with video included in the deal, haha). We’ve been married for 19 years now. Looking back, my husband wishes he would’ve done the traditional proposal but I told him what he did was perfect cause I don’t think I could’ve handled traditional. Congratulations on your engagement!!
I don't feel like society expects me to do anything, I think like I am equally part of it and of its set of expectations and that there are a lot of things out there that I can use, whether they are a norm or not (I should mention that getting me to a place where I can avoid pressure has been a lot of work and took a lot of difficult decisions). I'm grateful to live in a time and place where I can enjoy more freedom and comfort than there's ever been, playing around with ways of getting my needs met adds meaning to my life and it makes it fun! I've always considered that both partners should have a conversation about equal expectations of proposal, now I'm at a place where honestly I'd like to be proposed to. Who knows what the future will bring! Anyhow, I admire everyone who has the courage to take this big, meaningful step in their own hands! xoxo
I've been in an almost 3-year relationship and I've started getting people commenting on us getting engaged soon, which makes me laugh because we don't even live together 😂
Oh god same 3 yes in Jan 20. And everyone always asks me if we are getting married. I didn't realise itwas still such a pressure . We don't live in the same country even. I really don't understand.
@@AthynVixen Same! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years so not that long, but we also don't live in the same country. Though for me that has created kind of the opposite scenario - I would happily spend my life with him without ever getting married, but because we live in different countries (different continents, even) we might get married just for convenience. I live in Europe and he lives in America, which really complicates things since the US has strict rules about how long you are allowed to visit. If we got married I could get a green card and stay with him for as long as I want, and then when he finishes his military contract in a little less than two years and we move to Europe it should be a lot easier for him to move here as he's married to a citizen. Marriage is really unimportant to me, so for us it'd really just be to make it easier for us to be together.
I love how down to earth this video is! I don't love the high pressure "insta worthy" expectations for engagements/weddings so this was a really good reminder of "you do you" :D
That's not why she did it really. She just did it because she felt like it and thought she could do a good job I think. The #feminism bit just meant she wasn't scared to do it because "men are meant to do it" if that makes sense
@@miriamkorver1443 It should be normal but it isn't normal at all. I don't know one couple where the women proposed. You don't have to do it as a women but I think if there were more women that just do it many other want to do it too or find the courage to do it.
I always thought it was embarrassing to be the one to propose. But after hearing this story it's all about what you want to do and what's best for you. Congratulations!
my parents got engaged on their way home from a wedding because my mam said that was a lovely wedding we should have one
hahaha love it
Smooth AF
Awww i love that !!!
Hint hint 😂
Congrats on your engagement Hannah! Me and my partner came to see your Doing It Live Tour in Manchester, during the 'dating profile' segment, you coincidentally matched us up and we came on stage to meet you! You jokingly told us to let you know when the wedding is, well he proposed and we're due to be married in 2021! Your love matching skills appear to be pretty spot on! :D
oh my GOODNESS I'm so buzzed to hear this!! congrats!
ah this is so cute!!
haha that's awesome!
That's lovely, but she doesn't read/reply have anything to do with her channel as she pays someone to monitor it.
AAAAHHH AMAZING!! Congrats!! :)
I can't stop looking at Hannah's earrings. They're amazing!
I knowww
Same makes me wish i had ears
I just keep staring at them instead of her face :'D So amazing
And they go perfectly with her skin and lipstick colours!
Me too
No one:
Absolutely no one:
Hannah: “I AM ADORABLE”
Yup
Well, she is!!
@@hannahwitton
🤵👰 👍👍
My husband and I got engaged via a conversation - which basically went like "When are we getting married?" "March?" "Sounds good." Then we went to the courthouse, got married by a judge in front of his parents, his brother and my dad, then we went out to dinner with his parents and went home. The wedding was unimportant to both of us, we just wanted to be married and for everyone to know that was the level of commitment we had for one another.
love this!!
I LOVE that
My parents did the same thing. Dad asked mum do u want to get married but we will have to buy a new motor for the boat. She asked him why and he replied cause they would need the boat for the honeymoon. Mum said okay - still not sure if she was saying okay to the wedding or the boat motor
This was almost us and I really wish we could have agreed on a courthouse wedding. As it was, even our very small wedding was super stressful for me to plan and the same people who would have been mad anyway were mad. Should have saved some stress and money!
@@fuzzzysock We had a follow up tiny ceremony in the state where the rest of my family was and the whole time I was just like "is it over yet?". I hated it, so I know where youre coming from.
My husband proposed to me as we were about to get pushed down a snowtubing hill. We had already talked about getting married and I knew he would propose soon but didn't know when. He said "So when do you think we should get married? Like soon?" And then we were pushing down the snowtubing hill and I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard. At the bottom of the hill, he pulled the ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. It was perfect and simple and I think that was so important. Took a photo afterwards and we are in all our snow clothing and coats and looking ridiculous but we look so happy.
I was planning on proposing to my boyfriend in November this year on our 7 year anniversary. I saw your post on instagram about you having proposed to your bf, and I remember being happy to see another woman in a opposite sex couple do the same!
I had a cute idea where an artist had drawn a comic book style poster with reference pictures of us from each of the years we've been together as well as text bubbles with things we'd said. The last image would be me saying "will you marry me?" I had even picked out my own ring because I thought 'hey, I'm gonna wear it, I could pick it out'. And then he proposed in September to my complete surprise! (without a ring, because he thought I would want to pick it myself) and I had to say" well.... I already have one!"
So funny looking back in hindsight, like something out of a movie. 😅
What a great idea for a proposal! Seems to me like you could still pull that one off and return the favor :) Or maybe a version updated for your wedding vows as a wedding gift? Maybe a bubble that says "I Do"? Best of luck to you!
@@bethbcrafts thank you! Yes I'm saving it as a wedding present as I manged to keep it secret! 😀
7 years? Yikes
@@charlottewicks yikes?
@@SamarkandChan Love this! Not sure what Charlotte's problem is... I've been with my partner over 6 years and we don't have any plans to get married yet!
Flux needs to sponsor this. Do they know this story? They should.
Congrats! That's such a cute way of proposing and I bet Dan is gutted for not playing 😂
@@padijeff5675 what?
@@padijeff5675 because she loves Dan? What kind of question is this? Should she just marry a woman to express her support for feminism or anything else? Definetly not.
You are adorable s as was the proposal. How could he say no.
@@Bladewing342 what did she say? 😅 sorry for being nosy but this has triggered my interest lmao
@@halvedemi It's not about what she said but what @Padijeff commented to Ryan. Since the origianl comment is deleted, it was something like "why didn't Hannah propose to a woman?". And my comment is simply a reply to him. She didn't propose to a woman because she loves Dan and doesn't want to marry a woman only to show her support for feminism.
Can we just take a moment imagine hannah getting married in a YELLOW dress it would be gorgeous
She would look sensational!
Dodi yellow?
L S yes! & it’d be perfect since she’s a hufflepuff 💛
Gold peacock dress that she loves so much 😍
@@greensteve9307 Yup only Dodie yellow would do!
for me a ring would be important but that doesnt mean that it has to cost much. A cute 20 dollar ring would be fine but i would just like to have something that i could look at every day and be excited about the future together
Aasa S Yes! I feel the same on this 😂
I thought this too and was super proud that we found a very pretty Swarovski ring for about €40. Until I wore it for a couple of days and already noticed the metal start scratching and chipping. We've been engaged almost a year now and there's hardly any of the coating left and it's turning my finger green. I'm now having it remade in white gold so I can wear it together with my wedding band because I still absolutely love the look of it, but I am now wishing we would have gone with real silver or at least steel in the first place.
By the way, silver doesn't have to be that expensive, he got me a €25 silver ring as a souvenir 3 years ago and I've been wearing that every day and it still looks fine.
@@iwasalllikeomg Just so you are aware (I wasnt until I started ring shopping), white gold is made white by mixing gold with other metals like nickel. It is then coated with rhodium which keeps it from tarnishing or turning your skin green. The downside is that plating wears off, so you will have to have it regularly re-coated to keep everything behaving. In your shoes, I would look at having the ring made in platinum which is nonreactive for most people and is similar in look to white gold.
Yes I don't really like wasting money
And for me personally an expensive ring would make me super scared of damaging it or losing it
Obviously if it's sentimental I don't want to lose it either but I'd rather have a simple cheaper one
It's the meaning behind it that *means* a lot 😂 not the price for me
But I understand people who want to splash out on a special ring too :)
Tanya F actually I’ve been wearing a white gold ring everyday for 10 years and it looks exactly the same as it did on the first day (except for like 1 or 2 tiny scratches that were actually my fault and could’ve happened with a “normal” gold ring as well). I don’t want to say that what you said isn’t true though, maybe I’m just lucky.
I love the idea that it could've gone on for days or weeks of you just being like "Hey Dan, wanna play flux?" And him just being like "Nah, I'm good"
I’m a dude in a straight relationship. We’ve been dating for 5 years. We are also in this strange place where we’ve pretty much already started planning but neither has proposed however the expectation is very much on me. I’m not a huge fan of the pressure but I’m happy to make my girlfriend happy. Sometimes I worry it won’t meet her expectations but I’m sure it’s going to be fine.
You can do it! I bet it will be beautiful.
my parents were just sat on the couch one day and said "should we get married?" and the other one was like "ok!", they've been happily married for 25 years now hahaha! you'll be fine :)
You got this! As long as it fits who the two of you are as a couple.
Just make it romantic and special for the two of you.
Just do it! No matter how you do it. Go get a ring (if you want to) next week, and then just ask her whenever (If you want to!). The proposal doesn't matter that much. Do it at home or on a walk or wherever. She will love it, she loves you!
I’m sure he’ll never say no to playing flux ever again 🙈 so excited for you Hannah!! Happy Engagement! I can’t wait to see photos from your wedding, I know it’s going to be so joyous 🥰🥰
Eeee thanks Ariel!! 💛
I’d be so interested to know what your thoughts are on some other marriage/wedding social norms such as taking your husbands surname, father walking down the aisle, maid of honour, men doing all the speeches etc etc. GREAT VIDEO 💍💜 congrats on your engagement!!
My parents had a conversation and then my dad bought my mom a washing machine instead of an engagement ring. I think it was lovely, but not what I personally would like for me and my partner.
Literally I am that person that got married and when people asked me how we got engaged I had to say “we had a chat??” 😂 here’s to doing things your own way!
personally, I want an engagement ring because I treasure simple jewellery that I wear every single day and can touch/look at and feel happy and that means something to me because it comes from my partner. I don't want something pricey or super shiny, just something nice and elegant.
i guess my parents had a pretty “untraditional” engagement. they got “engaged” by mutually agreeing that it would be a good idea to get married for financial/tax reasons lmao. they had a very small ceremony at a registry office (my mum didn’t even wear white) and went to the pub with their friends afterwards. they didn’t go on a honeymoon, and they don’t have wedding rings (mainly because my mum doesn’t like how her hands look with rings on lol). 29 years later and they’re still going strong. i guess it’s because of them that i don’t really care about the traditions and conventions surrounding marriage (also because i’m gay so things will end up being a bit more non-conventional anyway)
haha yeah my parents got married (after they'd had 2 kids!) when my dad got a job in Texas and they needed to be married for the visa so my mum could go with him!
@@hannahwitton My parents got married after have 2 kids as well! I'm not sure their reason but I do know my mom went to sign the papers in her pajamas.
Love this story!
My parents also had like 2 proposals (one per conversation and one I believe by my mum) before my sister and me were born, and they always considered them to be engaged but somehow life happened and so they married after being together over 30 years. But that time my dad got a ring and proposed while on vacation. Although really they had a conversation beforehand going a little bit like this "hey, we are getting old, and if someone of us gets hospitalized or dies then the other has no legal ground to work on, and everything gets complicated" sooo not much of a romantic reason really. 😁 But I liked being at the wedding as a grown up.
My husband and I didn't get engaged we just decided to get married.
Thank you for sharing this is awesome!!
When my mum and dad got engaged my mum just threw an Argos catalogue at my dad and told him to pick a ring for her
🤣
I LOVE YOUR MOM
I hope it worked out but women should never pressure a man to commit, no matter how bad you want to be wifey. It’s a recipe for disaster.
Evolve they were together for 8 years before getting engaged and have been married 20 years since, so not much worry there 😁 also obviously had talks about getting married in the build up to that
Love it!!
As a wedding registrar I meet lots of different couples with completely different stories of who proposed, why, when, how and the sort of wedding they want. I’ve been doing the job 10 years and it shows there’s no one size fits all when it comes to weddings and proposals x
Ahem!
my parents had a low-key but cute engagement where they were sat watching the sunset and my dad did that magic trick where he was like “what’s that behind your ear?” and produced the ring 💍🧙♂️
I saw the title and just thought-
“Uhh,,, because u love him??”
I forgot it wasn’t ‘normal’ for the woman to propose lmao
Yes, 100%. I read this title and thought she was going to explain why they were getting married vs just staying as de facto partners or whatever. I did not think it was odd that Hannah would do the asking
Same here 😂 I would totally propose to my boyfriend
True lol. Like, the one who wants to propose proposes, and that's it!
February 29th. Its a thing
Lalogue okay but i’m a lesbian so in my mind, my first thought about proposals is that a man isn’t even involved at all lmao
4 years ago, I got proposed by my boyfriend, then of 5 months (only), after I nearly killed us both in a car accident. He saw that I was shattered and that I thought he would leave me, so he proposed to me during the evening of the accident, with his broken watch. 4 years later I still have that watch, and I'm forever keeping it.
We kept the engagement secret, knowing that it was not the time to display our affection thus. But now we talk openly about our futur marriage to our friends and family. I kinda want to propose to him, but I know he wants to do it again, and I kinda want the real traditional moment too. Anyway, I'm very happy for you both and I totally understand you!
My parent's got engaged by making a pros and cons list and then got married really quickly after the engagement. They've been married 30 years and still going strong and I love their engagement story, it always makes me laugh! Congrats to you two!
Oh I think in the vast majority of healthy relationships, people are "engaged" before they are "officially" engaged. I don't know any couple who had the proposal *before* having conversations about marriage. When true surprise proposals happen in real life, it tends to lead to bad outcomes where not everybody is ready or problems come up later that people didn't think through before committing to the engagement. It's a great thing to know you both want to get married before officially popping the question. In my own relationship (heterosexual), my husband did propose, but we had talked about it a lot beforehand, and I had even picked out the ring I wanted (he was positive that he would choose wrong if left to his own devices). So I knew full well it was coming, though I didn't know the how* or when.
*He legit wrote me a fantasy novel with lead characters based on us. It was a rough first draft of a novel that needed some major grammatical editing, but HE WROTE ME A NOVEL. And he is not a writer. I cried.
Hihi the novel part was adorable. People do things like that when they are in love. X
We had various conversatiom for a while, then it kinda exploded in a convo that I felt we would split up after and he then said he has a ring at home but not with him and then I told him that I didnt want this nasty me crying my eyes out in a forest moment to be our proposal if he was fine with it. So he got a timeframe of a month to do sth special. I didn't tell anyone the following week and then he did sth cute and it was fine. It couldve been a small thing at home or out but not crying out of fear preferably.
I learnt this lesson from my parents. My dad did a surprise proposal to my mum after six months of dating... she said no (her parents had got divorced and she wanted to be completely sure before she said yes). Then he surprised her again some time later... no again. Only by the third time was she actually ready.
@@elexneonabingdon I love this. Being ready is important and so is being able to hear no when someone isn't ready and supporting them. Your parents sound cool.
elexneonabingdon what a mature response. Yes surprises are romantic but a forever commitment is too important to just jump into
I think my parents just had a conversation and decided to get married. I think it was my mum who initially said "Let's get married".
Exactly the same!
I think my paternal grandparents did something similar. They had been together since my grandma was 15, and got married when she was 18. From my understanding there was never any kind of proposal, more that they just knew they wanted to be together so when she was old enough to marry they went ring shopping together (both people wear rings during an engagement where I'm from) and that was that.
My parents are the same, there wasn't a proposal moment just like an agreement after time. And then when dad got the ring made he just gave it to her I think.
Hey as someone who is older and been married for 7 years I think this video was thought provoking and fantastic! You are an awesome lady! Congratulations!
congrats! loving the earring/lipstick combo
This made me so bloody emotional, because SAME. We got engaged in August, I asked him, we had already jointly decided we wanted to get marred beforehand. Congratulations ❤ the thing that surprised me the most is how HAPPY it made everyone! People flippin love an engagement!!! And so few people raised an eyebrow about it being me. Yay - happy chill wedding planning x
P.s. I got myself a ring!
I love this video but oh my god, I can’t stop staring at your earrings! They’re brilliant, I’m obsessed
Hannah where are they from?
My mom proposed to my dad 30 years ago after dating for 3 months. She was like: « so should we get married? » and my dad agreed. Doesn’t sound very romantic but it was so obvious to them that they didn’t need to prepare a whole thing, they just new they wanted to be together forever 😊
I didn't get engaged until I was in my thirties (a few years ago), so I'd had a good amount of time to think things over, and being a feminist I turned my nose up a bit at the idea of all the traditional things expected from relationships In fact, my now-husband and I talked multiple times about how marriage itself wasn't important to us, and we had no plans to have children, so we were pretty comfortable with just being in a long-term relationship with the understanding we were fully committed for life.
Then my husband lost his mom, and I think that maybe changed some things for him. He proposed in a non-conventional way (no ring, no knee), and I was very surprised given our previous conversations, but it was also really special. And our wedding day was also unique to us, and it was the best party I've ever been to :)
Every couple has to figure things out for themselves. I think overall people want their relationship to feel special, and the best way to do that is to figure out what really matters to you and your partner.
Congrats to you and Dan! And congrats to you both also for talking things through and deciding what's important to you and what's not.
I also proposed to my boyfriend in August, using a ring box I'd made out of Lego. And we've also been together 3 years!
I was kind of surprised by so many people thinking it was a big deal that I did it.
Congratulations to you both! ♥️
I'm a 19 year old bisexual woman and my current thoughts are that if I ever want to get married, I'd like to be the one that proposes, regardless the gender of my partner. So I'm really grateful that you did and shared this because now I don't feel like I'm the only person that thinks this way. Also, something I've seen and think it's terrible is when the one who's proposing asks the father her daughter's hand before asking her. It makes me feel like the wonan's live belongs to the father
30 years ago my Mum decided she was sick of waiting and if my Dad didn’t want to marry her, it was better to junk him sooner rather than later; so she proposed in the car, on the way home from a trip to their favourite pub. I’m amazed that 30 years on, the Metro ran a story - that, is the real shock!
My parents just agreed to get married on a random day. According to my mum this is how the conversation went:
My mum: I think that we should get married.
My dad: so do I.
Mum: I’m being serious.
Dad: so am I.
Mum: ok.
Dad: ok.
It’s the most chill proposal ever.
This got me laughing, so lovely!
I proposed to my husband 24 years ago ! Still together at 50 years of age ... people still seem surprised when I tell them ! Congratulations 😘
aw i love this idea! i'm almost engaged myself (lol)! my partner and I have been together for two years and on a recent trip to guadalajara for a friends wedding we decided that it was time to really get serious. it was a very sweet and exciting conversation in this beautiful location and now we're planning on getting our ring sizes on our third year anniversary-- I'm very excited :) congratulations hannah and dan on the engagement, marriage, and now baby!
I honestly never gave this much thought, but this talk is hella inspiring.
I proposed to my husband. And he always said it was biggest compliment he's ever had! It's so empowering and I felt no pressure to do it a certain way! Totally recommend x
Congratulations Hannah and Dan 👫👩❤️👨
Robert Menzies Dannah?
Our engagement and proposal story has been all out of order, and I absolutely appreciate doing certain things to make it make sense to other people. And what made it more complicated was that each of our families have a different understanding and cultural traditions in the whole wedding thing!
Some people consider us married now, some people see us as engaged.
We see it as half way married aha.
I am very glad to hear your story and explanation 😊 resonates a lottt
"my parents are away travelling for most of next year"
the rona: evil laugh
Congratulations!! That is awesome!
Congratulations! I am so ready for our favourite productivity/organisation queen to spill the tea on wedding planning!
(If you two don't want it to be a private thing of course :) While the process would be fascinating to know more about, I totally respect that we all have to have boundaries at some point!)
We love a 21st century Queen. Congrats
I’ve never actually thought about how I’d like to propose/be proposed to. It’s weirdly exciting to realise that it can be anything I want!
I had plans on proposing to my partner. He did it first 🙄 I'm still annoyed about it but it was lovely 😂
Also, congrats!
You could propose in so many years after you're married and renew your vows?
This video was so effective, I followed the advices and 2 years later I proposed to my boyfriend! Just had to come back to this video and thank you 🤩
7:15 Oh, this is totally my reason why I want to get married soon (me and my partner have been together almost 5 years) - I'm like - I have a friend who's known her husband for a year altogether and in the society, they're respected as a proper couple who are serious about their relationship while I get a lot of "yeah, boyfriend, right". And I want that because I feel like when it comes to the level of commitment we've been in the "marriage, wanna be together basically forever" for years now. I'm a pragmatic person, always have been.
Also - I had no idea Shan got married, that's so awesome! :)
Congrats to Shan&Jared and of course Hannah&Dan!
JudyCZ honey don’t pressure him, sometimes men aren’t sure about what they want! If you are afraid he will make you wait until your best years are gone, assess why you love him and if he makes your life better. Who cares if others move fast, divorce rate is almost 50% so obviously there are tons of people making poor decisions. If being married is more important than having him in your life, you have to let him go
@@gladlock I'm not pressuring him, don't worry. :) We had a talk about it in July that was very honest, so I think we're good; no one's having to guess what the other wants, etc.
Hearing your story and what's important to you is so cool! I've wanted to be the one to propose since I was 14. Now I'm 21, and I still haven't seen any real-life examples of a woman proposing to a man, so thank you so much for sharing! School House Rock's song "Mr. Norton" had a lyric that said "Who says women can't propose?" in it and I think that planted the idea in my brain when I was like 4. Then, I saw the musical version of Legally Blonde, which changes the ending so that Elle proposes to Emmett, and that was what really sealed the deal. I even got to play the role of Elle as a senior in high school, so the idea of proposing is really special to me. Also, it's so great to know that you aren't traditional about rings! I just really hate wearing rings and I would get paranoid about the ring being unsanitary, so I've been thinking about maybe doing an engagement/wedding necklace instead, but I always worry people will judge me for that choice. (I'm aggressively single though and don't want to get married for several years, so I have some time to decide haha) Thanks for teaching women that we should be empowered to choose whichever aspects of tradition we like and discard the ones we don't. :)
So happy for you! congrats!!
Our story: we had been together for 6 months, walked around the city laughing and talking and I just went:" should we get engaged?" and he said:"yeah!" :D 6 years after that we got married at a magistrate with two friends as witnesses, we sent pretty postcards to our family to announce the marriage, and had a little get away vacation. People were a tad shocked, some were even a bit disappointed and angry. They were okay in the end though. we did it this way for ourselves! If we had realized we don't have to do what everyone else is doing when they get married we would've gotten married years before. It always got us both anxious when we started thinking about how to do the wedding. Thank goodness we ended up doing what was best for us! We've been married for almost 7 years, together for almost 12. We do have rings but I don't wear mine due to joint pain. They were not expensive though, mine was like 55 euros.
I bloomin' LOVE the message behind this story, that people should choose their own path and not be afraid to do things their own way! So lovely! Thanks for sharing!
Love that emerald ring, I wore it the whole time when I was in my 20's, but was scared cos the emerald was getting scratch so put it back in Granny's jewellery box, love that you want to wear it as your engagement ring, that is so cute....xxxx
my girlfriend and i have talked openly about marriage and what it means to us. it’s really nice to be able to be fully honest and discuss differents parts of it like which one of us wants to propose (both of us), how traditional we’d want the proposal + wedding to be (surprisingly lot), and when we’d get engaged (still not for many years as we are only twenty). i loved this video! very fascinating to see everyone’s take on marriage.
Congratulations!
I'm in a similar, we already feel engaged, sort of boat. A lot of people in my life find it weird that I know that my boyfriend is going to propose in february when we go to disney world. I even know the day. But all of the other details I'm in the dark about. This was super important to him, that hes the one who does the asking. Otherwise, I would have no problem asking him. We already know we will be getting married. We know we are making the conscious decision to be life partners. But he wanted to formally ask, so that's how its gonna be
I LOVE this! I proposed to my fiancé last fall because he wanted me to! I picked and bought myself an engagement ring, and he picked out a nice watch for him to wear in instead of a ring, and I planned a whole thing! He was thrilled, and loves it because I gave us an adorable story to tell!
of course there's no judgement and this is just a question but why do you also want him to propose? That kind of surprised me after all the other points in this video. What's the purpose/meaning of that for you? would love to know x
My husband asked my parents for their blessing and I was there. We already had a date and everything but he still proposed while we were on a hike with a none expensive but beautiful ring. I love having that memory and the fact that he did it without me bringing it up. It meant a lot to me
i asked my partner pretty early on in our relationship how long he'd have to be with someone before getting married and he said five years, so i immediately set a reminder on my phone for five years from the day we got together called 'propose to nicholas'. we're both v queer but he's the one ppl would assume to be the 'man' in the relationship
I recently got engaged and waited for my partner to pop the question because we talked about it before and he was clear that he wants to be the one to do it. But this weekend I'm "proposing back" to him because I love surprising him and he loves surprises and he even joked a few times about me proposing to him so I think he will really really love it. I agree with you Hannah - make your own rules and make your relationship your own! :)
Congrats Hannah, so happy for you two!
You are just so fabulous! I love that "you do you" and are unapologetic about asking for what you want in life (consensually of course). I'm so glad that you've found someone who has similar values and supports your choice to not follow certain social scripts.
After I voted I thought to myself "wasn't it contradictory?" 😅
Shoot, I think we need to see more women in opposite sex relationships doing it. It's really inspiring! Hopefully mindsets will shift someday soon 😆
Congratulations on the engagement! So happy for you two! Why shouldn't you propose?! Also, I remember you being single and NOT ready to mingle, so the fact that you're engaged now gives me the feels...
PS love the orange lip and earrings combo, so aesthetic!
Thank you for sharing! 💖
My boyfriend has a lot of nerves surrounding the potential of being the one to propose, so he asked that I be the one to propose, which is great, because he cares about a ring and I don't. He told me that he wants it private, and told me his ring size and what kind of ring he'd want. So, though we're not ready for engagement yet, I'm glad we know what we want to do when the time comes, and I'm excited about the idea of proposing to him!
When my mom and dad got engaged there wasn't anyone who got down on one knee. They just kind of agreed to be engaged and changed rings.
My cousin and her fiancee did the same (but a lot of years later).
Re: wedding planning, my fav resource was A Practical Wedding (both website and book). As you might guess, it’s very practical and down to earth advice. One of the main pieces of advice I appreciate from it is pick the three or so things you really care about (dress, food, photography, etc) and everything else realize it’ll get done one way or another, but you’ll drive yourself crazy if you try to control every single element of the event. It really helped me lower my stress throughout the process.
I want to propose to my boyfriend as well. Gotta wait till I accomplish major goals first but it could be in one or two years! yeeee!
wooooo!! good luck!
I don't think you need to get those accomplishments out of the way first. Love is love, no matter your status or big things you succeeded at. Good luck on your proposal!
@@ItsaboutbeautyNl That is true, but we've had conversations about marriage and it's important to me to graduate college and get a job first. It's just our choice. 🥰
Absolutely love this! My boyfriend is 24 and I'm 26 and we're kind of at this weird point where I'm ready to be married but he still feels too young (we've also been going out for 5 years). We've been talking about this A LOT lately and realized a lot of the pressure I feel is based on the friends around me getting engaged/married and the image I had for my life at this point when I was younger. Through the chats we've been having recently settled on how many more years we want to wait, when we want to have kids, and all the financial planning that comes with that. He will be the one to propose (and he's asking BOTH my parents) but in a lot of ways the knowing when it will happen and the fact that we are planning to own a home by then and be in a financial place to support a family makes it all the more romantic to me. Our future is more important than a ring and a ceremony and I couldn't love him more for helping me learn that. Congrats to you and Dan!!!
I love that you did it and this was right for you. My husband proposed but that felt like the right thing for us. My feminist spin on the tradition was this: Women do most of the emotional labor in the relationship. This gives men a task that falls squarely on them if that's what's best for the couple
that’s nice. i don’t think we should need a reason, most people have a preference of whether they’d rather be proposed to or propose, so just go with that. at the end of the day, ya just a question that you probably know the answer to anyways
Congrats!! My husband proposed with tarot cards to me! I totally agree with what you were saying about "already" being engaged. We wanted to elope but both have big families that wanted to be involved in some way. So our engagement (four months before the elopement) was a way of us telling everyone what was coming.
Why not? My best friend's girlfriend proposed to him in 2000. He accepted and they have a nice life and a cute kid.
Congrats! I love that you've done it your own way! My husband and I decided to get married a few months ago. There was no big proposal, nobody dropped to one knee, nobody even popped the question really. It was just a discussion about the future and we both agreed we want this so let's do it. No ring, no fuss. We gave notice of marriage, then we asked his sister and her partner to be our witnesses and voila! We were married 2 months after. We told our families after we eloped, they were shocked but chuffed. I'm so glad we did it our way. I am a huge advocate now for doing it the way it feels right for you. Engagement, marriage, the whole shabang. Do what feels right. Wishing you both a lifetime of happiness!
I'll start with congratulations on your engagement!
I'm in a same-sex relationship (both men) and we're 3 years in, have lived together for most of it (over 2 years) and have talked casually about marriage and future plans like career and kids. We've established we want to get married at some point and I sometimes refer to him as my husband for extra cuteness but I feel like engagement and marriage should wait for a few more years. We're both young yet (21) and I figure if we're gonna be together forever anyway, it wouldn't hurt to wait a few years to get hitched. In terms of engagement, I'm the more romantic person in the relationship and I have made more active plans about proposal so I'd probably be the one to do it though honestly I'd be thrilled either way.
I'm 27 now and have been with my partner for 10 full years now, marriage really can wait and isn't as important as some people make it out to be. Just enjoy being with each other and do all the legal stuff later if you want to.
If not, then don't because this is the 21st century and a lot of people never marry but still have been with their partners for decades.
Wish you all the happiness for your future!
Some people fancy the traditional way but some are pressured to follow those paths. So I think it’s important to step back and think “do we like doing things like this? Or like this?”
We just planned our wedding. Neither my husband or I purposed. Do I don’t have an engagement ring which to me doesn’t matter
Good luck, guys! Have a nice life as a couple!
Now I'll be waiting for the first pregnancy!
Congratulations (even tho I saw on your socials) but it such an interesting thing about dan saying you’re already engaged as me and my boyfriend have always said they same. None of us have officially proposed to one of enough but we basically class ourselves as because we are as much that then not tbh.
This is awesome! My husband and I definitely had a conversation before the proposal. It was important to my man that he did the asking. He also listened to my plea for no engagement ring (didn't want one, for ethical reasons). It was a beautiful moment next to Lake Michigan and then we had a courthouse wedding three weeks later! I say do what is important to the two of you.
12:34 “I made it very clear to Dan that I still expect a proposal back at some point.” Why? :p I’m curious
Because she still wants the traditional proposal..
Skylar S I’m not trying to be judgmental here, but if the traditional proposal is important to her why did she decide to propose? It feels so contradictory, I’m so confused.
@@mimicovers97 I'm slightly confused too!
Yeah that's a bit odd lol. What's the point in proposing if you actually do want to be proposed to?
I love women and their feelings even if they don't make any sense
Congrats! We did it the “traditional” way in that my husband proposed to me but we had already had several conversations about marriage and engagement and so knew that we were both on the same page! He knew I didn’t want anything public so he just proposed in our living room but it was sweet and personal to us and that’s what matters 😊
congrats!
I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years, and we do plan on getting married (probably not until 2025 or later tbh, because we're both studying long term (both want to be doctors and that's a long-ass journey lol)).
I'm going to propose to her probably within the 1-2 years before we plan on getting married. I already see her as my life partner/wife/fiancee/whatever, but I am really excited to officially tie the knot, though I know that we're nowhere near ready for that life stage yet and we are still way too young to have the sort of married life we both want. We've already talked a lot about engagement and we are both on the same page in that I will be the one to propose. As much as it may be heteronormative, proposing to the love of my life is something I have always wanted to do, I've always wanted to plan something special and make the event memorable, and my gf also has said she would rather be the one to be proposed to, so it kinda worked out.
I'm also trans and one of my goals for my life, when I was coming to terms with my gender identity (we're talking like 10 years ago when I was only 13-14), was getting married and engaged and going through those big life changes as a man, and how I saw it in society is how I've always really wanted to do it. By no means are we following through with anything toxic or antifeminist that we don't agree with because that's how we feel we are meant to do it or something, but we are probably going to be fairly traditional bar certain traditions (eg asking her father for his 'blessing', being handed over etc), which we probably will go about in our own way?
I think as long as the people getting married are on the same page and want the same things (or are willing to compromise) it shouldn't matter how it's done or who does what. Love is love, engagement and marriage is what you want it to be!
I've already completely planned my proposal lol. I know where and how I want to do it, but not too sure on the timing as it'll depend on when we graduate and where we are at. The only thing I haven't really thought about is the ring. I've got a good friend who's dad is a goldsmith so I will probably go to him sometime closer to arrange something custom. My girl is pretty chill and not really one for big flashy things, so I'll probably just go for something pretty minimal and subtle, with a matching chain so she can wear it around her neck when she needs to for work. I plan on doing the same for my wedding band.
I love this so much!! My fiance and I got engaged a couple months ago (he proposed to me), but I also plan on proposing to him with a ring (because we both want rings), and then for our wedding we plan on engraving each other’s rings, and the engravings will be a surprise for the wedding. We are loving picking and choosing the traditional parts of marriage that we enjoy, and making it more fun for us.
Congrats on the engagement ❤ I have been with my current partner for just shy of 4 years and am dying to propose to her. We have talked before about marriage etc and she was keen but not excited. Hoping to get the nerves together and take the plunge when I feel the time is right x
My (male) fiance proposed to me in July, but we too were already sort of planning a wedding. He's known for years that it's important to me to get married in January and last year at Christmas, he said that he thought a January 2020 wedding could happen for us. It was a whole conversation. For me, that feels like the moment we got engaged, even though the official proposal didn't come for seven more months. I really hated the whole "big question" thing for myself, like it was taking away my autonomy. We'd spent four years being in a partnership, making decisions together, so I really pushed back against the traditional "man buys the ring, plans surprise proposal and woman has no idea what's coming." I do have an engagement ring, which I picked out myself. I love it so much and I'm glad it was a decision we made together. And now we're getting married in 37 days!
2 seconds in ... and already in love with the earrings and colour combination with the lipstick 🧡🧡
Husband and I got engaged while walking in the town we first met, by the beach. We've been talking about marriage for a long time, and that afternoon we were like "so are we engaged for real? Yes", then walked two blocks to the next jewelry shop, bought 2 silver plain bands (sooo cheap), put each other's rings (customary here in Argentina to wear the engagement ring on the right hand and the wedding band on the left) and started planning. We both wore the engagement ring (not really common), we walked together down the isle (we are free people choosing each other, no one "hands me down"), I made my own wedding dress in a cream color, and we did it at midday with less than 80 people. It was glorious, and the best decision for us.
Make the traditions your own and it will be amazing 💕 congratulations!!! Best wishes to the both of you.
I've been binge watching your old videos and there's one when you say you'll never get married!
My husband and I were friends first, we hung out everyday for a year. When he “proposed,” we were at my home. He was working from home (at my house) while I was paying my bills. He asked me “I think we should get married, what do you think?” I told him I agreed and then we both agreed on a date and also a Vegas wedding. We were of course happy and then we went back to what we were working on.
Our wedding was not a small event because his parents (without us knowing) invited everyone they could. In a tiny chapel we had 60 people in total, which was fine cause the wedding was only ($120 with video included in the deal, haha).
We’ve been married for 19 years now. Looking back, my husband wishes he would’ve done the traditional proposal but I told him what he did was perfect cause I don’t think I could’ve handled traditional.
Congratulations on your engagement!!
Congratulations 🥳🎊
From one 2020 bride to another 🙈 xx
I LOVE THAT YOU PROPOSED!! Woman of the decade!
You are amazing ! So happy to know you had crush this gender role. I wish you all the love in the world.
I don't feel like society expects me to do anything, I think like I am equally part of it and of its set of expectations and that there are a lot of things out there that I can use, whether they are a norm or not (I should mention that getting me to a place where I can avoid pressure has been a lot of work and took a lot of difficult decisions). I'm grateful to live in a time and place where I can enjoy more freedom and comfort than there's ever been, playing around with ways of getting my needs met adds meaning to my life and it makes it fun! I've always considered that both partners should have a conversation about equal expectations of proposal, now I'm at a place where honestly I'd like to be proposed to. Who knows what the future will bring! Anyhow, I admire everyone who has the courage to take this big, meaningful step in their own hands! xoxo
I've been in an almost 3-year relationship and I've started getting people commenting on us getting engaged soon, which makes me laugh because we don't even live together 😂
this is literally me and my gf! we’re going to be together 5 years this year but we JUST moved in together so, no marriage yet 😂
Oh god same 3 yes in Jan 20. And everyone always asks me if we are getting married. I didn't realise itwas still such a pressure . We don't live in the same country even. I really don't understand.
@@AthynVixen Same! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years so not that long, but we also don't live in the same country. Though for me that has created kind of the opposite scenario - I would happily spend my life with him without ever getting married, but because we live in different countries (different continents, even) we might get married just for convenience. I live in Europe and he lives in America, which really complicates things since the US has strict rules about how long you are allowed to visit. If we got married I could get a green card and stay with him for as long as I want, and then when he finishes his military contract in a little less than two years and we move to Europe it should be a lot easier for him to move here as he's married to a citizen. Marriage is really unimportant to me, so for us it'd really just be to make it easier for us to be together.
Same here, but nobody has asked when we're getting engaged lol (I'm in France)
I love how down to earth this video is! I don't love the high pressure "insta worthy" expectations for engagements/weddings so this was a really good reminder of "you do you" :D
Proposing to your boyfriend is fine, but feel like you shouldn’t do it just to prove a point because of #feminism
Agreed. I don't even think it's necessarily very feminist for a woman to propose to her boyfriend. It is (or should be) just normal.
yes, but like she said, that’s not the only reason she did it, she just said society wasn’t stopping her :)
That's not why she did it really. She just did it because she felt like it and thought she could do a good job I think. The #feminism bit just meant she wasn't scared to do it because "men are meant to do it" if that makes sense
@@miriamkorver1443 It should be normal but it isn't normal at all. I don't know one couple where the women proposed. You don't have to do it as a women but I think if there were more women that just do it many other want to do it too or find the courage to do it.
I always thought it was embarrassing to be the one to propose. But after hearing this story it's all about what you want to do and what's best for you. Congratulations!