I love how you talked about being friends with everyone in high school. That was me. I dressed in a way that I could meld in with any group. On my 18th birthday I stressed out because I had a few friends in each group and back then, the groups did not like each other. My mom said, "They are your friends, so they will have something in common." For 1989, it was the most bizarre party. Jock guy talking to nerdy girl. Headbanger talking to cheer leader. Goth talking to prep boy. Like I wish I had taken video of my 18th birthday party. I could have made it into a weird movie.
Awesome you were and are a bridge builder how very cool and super powery is that!?!? That is a great story when you can appreciate the beauty in each and not be limited to a particular clique, I just think that’s great.
Summary: 1) Popularity isn't created by attractiveness, but by how many people you like- popular people had the longest lists of how many people they like in which activated a science principle "we like people who like us". 2) Ambivalence is the killer of connection and your health, career and happiness suffer. Ambivalent people are more toxic than toxic people. 3) Don't try to pretend you're an extrovert, don't fake it until you make it - it creates hesitancy in your voice, inconsistent behavior and a terrible impression in which the other person thinks you're fake. 4) Every interaction is an experiment. When you take this approach, you'll be calmer and braver. 5) The best approach - signal "friend, not foe" with showing your hands with purposeful hand gestures, creating eye contact, and sparks questions. The best opener - you want to signal this interaction is going to be different. You set up someone's response based on the trigger you ask. Don't say "what do you do?", it signals autopilot, I don't want to invest too much in this, and I judge you on your career. Produce dopamine, the pleasure hormone, with priming - the words you use create emotions in other people. So use positive words, "I can't wait to see you on Friday", "we're going to have so much fun". Then you signal their brain to look for hits, not misses. Don't cue the person to feel depressed, anxious, sad. Conversation sparkers: "What are your personal passions?", "Do you plan a vacation?", "Wasn't this presentation great?". You don't want to talk about surface things and boring questions, but don't go to personal topics either when you barely know each other. 6) When we feel fear and anxiety, we produce a fear chemical in the people around us, and they catch and mirror it. Your emotions are contagious. Infect excitement, not anxiety. 7) Make a note of every interaction you had through the day. Average interactions create average results. 8) If you haven't seen a friend in 8 years, how would you greet them? Treat people like old friends- be verbally, physically excited. 9) Think: what emotion do I wanna infect today? Is it excitement, gratitude, calm, confidence, assertiveness? It doesn't mean you can't have a bad day or you can't feel down. Just be honest about it, apologize to the people around, and don't think about it too much. Don't hide in your house, get out, and let others infect you too. 10) Serotonin is a chemical that make us calm. High neurotics, they don't produce as much as serotonin and not as fast. And sentences like "it's all going to be fine", "there's nothing to worry about", "calm down" just stress them more. You can take care of the issue itself on your own with practical, doable solutions immediately to really take off the rock from their chest. 11) There are 6 resources to humans- status, money, love, information, goods, services. We need all of them but we have a primary one, usually it's the one we didn't get in childhood. You have to be able to ask for the main resource and recognize it from others through their complaints. 12) You can optimize parts of your personality but 35%-55% is genetic while the rest is shaped in early childhood. So don't try to change people or make them better. Just turn fights into discussions: talk about how you're wired, so you don't try to change the other person, but simply ask for your resource. For example, high openness people can say to their romantic partner "are you up to try this new restaurant or should I call my friend?". 13) The big five traits theory- openess, conscientiousness, extraversion, neuroticism, agreeableness. It's the only personality assessment which is scientifically based. Everyone has them, it's a spectrum of high, low, or moderate. Figure out what are your trigger points and have another person take care of it so you stay calm. 14) Conscientiousness difference creates the most relationship problems. 15) Happiness: the small and daily things make you happy- not big, euphoric experiences that happen once in a while. Also, it comes from optimization of your natural personality. This feeling of control, capability and optimization creates happiness. 16) We're biased to think negatively and expect the worse. We can retrain the brain and flip it to a not necessarily positive state but neutral state. 17) A lot of pain, suffering and stress in dating comes from not asking important questions- and going after lust. Ask questions about their values, routines, preferences, religion, future goals, early on so it won't get discovered on the first fight! Avoid giving in to chemical reactions that have no real basis. 18) It's not what you say but how you say it: your tone, cadence and pitch consist of your vocal power. Keep your voice in the lowest range possible. 19) Answer the phone in the right way: speak from the outbreath, and be expressive as they are, to show you're on the same emotional page. 20) Amateur lie detectors do worse than people who don't know anything about lying. Look for leaks in incongruencies, read microexpressions and listen to your first intuition. 21) Couples that show contempt will get divorced in the next 30 years. One sided lip raise shows contempt. 22) Liars look you in the eyes more to see if you believe them. Shifty eyes show nervousness, not necessarily lying. 23) Phone has the most amount of lies. To decrease it, say it "I'm going to be taking notes and send you the full summary afterwards. Please review them and check if we got everything right". 24) In negotiation, make sure you have the downward inflection in your voice and have authorative tone. 25) Prior a meeting, practice saying the hardest things to another human, not mirror. 26) 3 different kinds of proofs: social, testimonals, media.
Lewis Howes Thank you for being an amazing host and interviewing gorgeous Vanessa! The school of greatness is such a great way to learn what truly matters in life :) Wish you two all the best, thank you for inspiring me!
I watched this interview twice it was so good! This girl is incredibly smart, resilient, and confident. I actually enjoyed observing her so much! She is such a positive role model for other girls and people in general. Such good points she makes. Was so glad to have found this. Absolutely loved the way you both interacted together as well. Also love how confident Lewis is. I never realised how hot he was before I watched the way he acts in this video.
Is she ? I mean I like her too but I feel like she knows exactly what she must say and exactly what she shouldn't. She has mastered the art of getting into a frame of mind before entering a conversation, so the right things come out. I really like the analysis of this right frame of mind. I'd like to talk to her when she's being normal.
@@rajeshj8383 that makes her all the better. I can’t even count all the times Lewis interrupted and interjected and that could have easily made her lose her train of thought. But it didn’t, she still managed to bring the conversation back to the point of what she was talking about.
I love, love, loved this episode. I love how she talked about being a "recovering awkward" person. It made be laugh out loud and feel a sense of relief at the same time. It's good to know that the awkwardness will pass with practice and work. Thank you Lewis, you've really made a difference in my life and in turn my families' life.
Love how she explained how to be a better partner in a relationship by understanding if they're more or less neurotic and how to reassure them with what they need! Thank you, Lewis!!!
I saw you at Chalene's marketing impact a couple years ago and found your story so inspiring and memorable. So much has changed for me since then, becoming a mother & wife, LIFE CHANGING. I listen to your podcasts as I drive, run, lift, any time I can and the information and inspiration you spread helps me become a better mom, wife, and overall as a better person! I appreciate the amazing people you bring onto your podcast you attract such positivity and I just want you to know how much I look forward to learning from your podcasts whether it's just five minutes or an hour. THANK YOU!! Keep spreading knowledge, positivity, and kindness!!
The School Of Greatness is really providing the type of education a lot of us wished they`ve had in the traditional educational system. It`s such a pleasure to watch you manifesting this vision that you had with SOG, Lewis. Love your interviews!
I LOVEEEEEE her!!! I can't believe she said she thinks she's awkward, like in what world?! lol...her personality is one of a kind, draws you in and makes you smile!
I was so nervous to meet you Lewis when we were at the Summit Of Greatness in Ohio. You made me feel so comfortable. You are very present in the moment and that immediately put me at ease with you. You really are a fantastic human being creating amazing connections.
not even 30 minutes and I'm already a big fan of Vanessa!! her body language & face expressions are the cutest things ever :D ....ps I'm def getting her book (handsdown)
3 years late in the comments section, but even as a woman I smile at pretty much everyone. That or I do the nod even if I feel intimidated. My personal reason for that is that someone is much less likely to come at you if they see you see them and aknowlege them. People are much less likely to attack someone who faces forward confidently. The sharper your claws the less you need to use them.
wow its been forever since I've watched but glad to se there's an intro Lewis. I'd say work on/ test it more but I like the idea. Biggest takeaways : 1. vulnerability is sexy 2. own your weirdness 3. your confidence is contagious
I feel social media is a great tool to get you where you need to be and have so much to talk about that the person can't turn you away. I'm understanding now you have to put yourself into the conversation otherwise you will be left out. I like the part where she said that if you show up to an event and you feel really nervous that others will feel it and without a doubt you will make leave with getting so much out of it that you have no choice but to do something with it.
this episode was incredible. Vanessa has info that will help so many! buying her book to read on an upcoming long flight. No where near a failure! No way, no how. Thank you L and Vanessa
I am really impressed by everything Vanessa said and want to thank you Lewis for giving me an opportunity to get answers for so many questions that bugged me for so long. You guys are a true inspiration, thank you for what you do.
That’s a strong soulmate connection right here!!! The chemistry between the two of you is undeniable but also the brave, effortless friendship. You can just tell it’s soulmates:)))
I've been doing something since February called the Chaos Challenge but I don't want to spoil what it is because one of my goals is to meet Vanessa and have her be the daily participant. It has truly changed my life.
This is my second interview with Vanessa first I came across at Impact Theory which I loved 🥰 was awesome interview and now with Lewis I do really love this girl she is so positive wickedly smart and very honest thanks to Lewis also for his work and effort also very positive and nice guy . Kepp up the great work
wow. When im going thru my notes on this podcast i have NEVER had so much of notes as i have now :D Amazing podcast, Vanessa is absolutely wonderful women. I have to read that book :D Thanks Lewis! :)
Maybe times have changed, but in the 1990s when I was in high school, the popular kids were not necessarily the ones who like the most people but they were the ones who were feared by the most people.
Vanessa Van Edwards and Lewis Howes, you have done a great job with this podcast! You have put some very complicated and scientific information in terms that everyone can understand. I’m teaching Human Relations and communications and I love this idea about excitement or fear transferred from person to person as a chemical and hormonal marker. Wow! If you can influence your own attitude and state of mind, you can influence other people just my being near them without saying a word. Vanessa, you are going to sell lots of books. I love your stories and examples. Lewis, you have done an amazing job with the podcast and the videos. Thanks for the inspiration!!! Attila
I would love to review or give feedback, but when I clicked on the link nothing happened. Would you provide a link maybe through your website? Anyhow, your content is amazing! Thank you for inspiring millions of people!
New 'all time favorite' episode, Vanessa Van Edwards is such an incredible human, driven by meaningful work and consistently delivering in an authentic way! Just like the one and only Lewis Howes👌Thank you both for all that you do, your work has changed my life and I'm so, sO grateful for that! 🤗🙏
Thanks for the fun episode! It's inspired me to "infect" everyone around me with excitement more intentionally (and I'm already seeing improvements in my relationships!!) So glad I paused the podcast app to watch this video because it was fun to follow along with the body language cues, haha. Keep up the greatness, you two!
I didn’t even know I was popular in school until my friends told me I was lol it makes sense saying this bc I was friendly with everyone even though I was very alternative in my style I was friends with every group. I made friends in all the groups and was kind to everyone. I made friends with nerdy kids all the way to my other popular friends. I hung out mostly with middle of the spectrum kids even though my main group I grew up with was apparently the popular group (although none of us considered this bc we were the skater/alt group lol). I never thought about it that way but I just was happy to see people and always waved or hugged and was excited to see anyone I knew 😂 so that makes sense. Of course some people hated me for being friendly with everyone or were jealous of this but you can’t please everyone 🤷🏻♀️
Me too. I only found out when my boss told me in my review that I was very personable and people are comfortable talking to me and because of that I woud make a great leader.
The 😍 TWO OF YOU 😍 would make a great couple 💖. I know you're married Vanessa... and Lewis, you're in a relationship, but there's definitely some magical attraction going on here. ADORABLE!!!! I just discovered each of you tonight. Your smiles are INFECTIOUS, you're both GORGEOUS, INTERESTING and INSPIRING. Thanks for sharing your past struggles and vulnerabilities and for such an informative video!!!
Am I the only one sense his tiredness and rushing at the end of the interview? He even blocked his face using the book. And that caused her fawning with huge smile and trying to catch his eyes while he was dodging her eye contact. I don’t know. Vanissa is a kind, genuine sweetheart. I feel bad and sorry for her for the ending part. She deserves an apology, at least in my book. Otherwise it’s a great interview.
I had Vanessa’s book on my Audible wish list, and scrolled back to this interview to decide if it was the best choice of book for this month....Yes. I’m a group fitness instructor and have an endless storehouse of energy and motivation to workout. I often think about how I intend for people to catch that from me (like it’s a contagious thing) but didn’t know if that idea had any validity. I love how she talked about that concept and how it’s scientifically proven. 🙏🏼
Incredible video! I think I share some character traits of Vanessa. I really loved the whole PQ/EQ, optimization and capability talk. I love topics on the science of the brain and people!
Lewis, fantastic interview. Vanessa is one of my favorites. Her research and insight on human interaction is fascinating. And love her book, Captivate, reading it now. You have some of the most interesting and informative guests. Thank you sir.,well done again.
That's crazy! I never thought of ambivalence people! It's so true! There are days when I want a toxic coworker back because I know where I stand with them. I really hate the silent gossip types.
Great interview! I love to hear Vanessa, her observations and advice are so good. She is a real expert in body language and in the science of people, in general. Congratulations for this episode, Lewis.
Lewis, I absolutely loved this interview... Truly powerful, inspirational and reassuringly comforting. Vanessa's awkwardness is her superpower! Truly a beautiful Soul.
So, I always thought I couldn't calm down as quickly as other people because I'm a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), but I may be neurotic too! 😂 Powerful talk. I have owned my weirdness for years, but not my competence, capability or power to be loving or forgiving.
Thanks for this great interview!! Vanessa has been one of feel people that helped change my way of seing and interact with life. I watched her course on The Great Course Plus and I felt in Love with what I learned from her. Even know english is not my first language, Im a brazilian and my primary language is portugues, it's still clean enough to understand everything!! May God Bless all!!
I loved this episode! It was fascinating start to finish because it not only teaches about connecting better with other people but also taught me a ton about myself. I'm totally a "recovering awkward" person. Lol Keep up the great content Lewis! 😁
The information about the "fear" smell is interesting. I used to think it was just "reading the room" using cues from visual observation to try and anticipate whats going on around you. I assume that more women have this kind of "6th sense" too since they pick up on body-language more so than the average man? Very interesting.
Love this!! Took 2 days for me to finish but I absolutely love listening to both of you separately so I LOVED listening to you two together. I sent the interview to all my friends :)
Negotiating, re: vocal pitch, totally agree not to have vocal inflection go up. In addition to pitch going down, it still sounds strong on repeating the pitch
i love you! you are so cool, humble, real, great interviewer you know when to shut up lol and also when to ask more questions. even when you have people that don't really answer your questions and keep going on and on you know how to still try to stay on point. but love how you have all these people i have been finding "naturally". its such a small world but now really. anyways you ROCK
So many notes from this one single podcast. Thank you both for this awesome conversation. Started as a form of procrastination (not gonna lie, right? ) and ended up as one of the most valuable things in a long time. Cheers from the Czech republic.
HI Maam Vanessa your personality it so amazing and very attractive the way how you explained i love it too much. enjoying to watch again and agiain this vedio.💟
I enjoyed watching this interview and learnt about some interesting concepts. Thank you Vanessa and Lewis for sharing such empowering and transformational content.
I lived in NY and she just described a typical way people get their gold chains and bags snatched in the subways...it 'almost' happened to me one time but I 'got that feeling' and walked away before the 3 guys that were surrounding me had a chance to mugged me .
![Megan Thee Stallion - Neva Play (feat. RM) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TpYTyAaTRts/mqdefault.jpg)
I love how you talked about being friends with everyone in high school. That was me. I dressed in a way that I could meld in with any group. On my 18th birthday I stressed out because I had a few friends in each group and back then, the groups did not like each other. My mom said, "They are your friends, so they will have something in common." For 1989, it was the most bizarre party. Jock guy talking to nerdy girl. Headbanger talking to cheer leader. Goth talking to prep boy. Like I wish I had taken video of my 18th birthday party. I could have made it into a weird movie.
Same 😂 always a random mix with me
Are u a Libra by chance ? Lol 😂
Awesome you were and are a bridge builder how very cool and super powery is that!?!? That is a great story when you can appreciate the beauty in each and not be limited to a particular clique, I just think that’s great.
Summary:
1) Popularity isn't created by attractiveness, but by how many people you like- popular people had the longest lists of how many people they like in which activated a science principle "we like people who like us".
2) Ambivalence is the killer of connection and your health, career and happiness suffer. Ambivalent people are more toxic than toxic people.
3) Don't try to pretend you're an extrovert, don't fake it until you make it - it creates hesitancy in your voice, inconsistent behavior and a terrible impression in which the other person thinks you're fake.
4) Every interaction is an experiment. When you take this approach, you'll be calmer and braver.
5) The best approach - signal "friend, not foe" with showing your hands with purposeful hand gestures, creating eye contact, and sparks questions. The best opener - you want to signal this interaction is going to be different. You set up someone's response based on the trigger you ask. Don't say "what do you do?", it signals autopilot, I don't want to invest too much in this, and I judge you on your career. Produce dopamine, the pleasure hormone, with priming - the words you use create emotions in other people. So use positive words, "I can't wait to see you on Friday", "we're going to have so much fun". Then you signal their brain to look for hits, not misses. Don't cue the person to feel depressed, anxious, sad. Conversation sparkers: "What are your personal passions?", "Do you plan a vacation?", "Wasn't this presentation great?". You don't want to talk about surface things and boring questions, but don't go to personal topics either when you barely know each other.
6) When we feel fear and anxiety, we produce a fear chemical in the people around us, and they catch and mirror it. Your emotions are contagious. Infect excitement, not anxiety.
7) Make a note of every interaction you had through the day. Average interactions create average results.
8) If you haven't seen a friend in 8 years, how would you greet them? Treat people like old friends- be verbally, physically excited.
9) Think: what emotion do I wanna infect today? Is it excitement, gratitude, calm, confidence, assertiveness? It doesn't mean you can't have a bad day or you can't feel down. Just be honest about it, apologize to the people around, and don't think about it too much. Don't hide in your house, get out, and let others infect you too.
10) Serotonin is a chemical that make us calm. High neurotics, they don't produce as much as serotonin and not as fast. And sentences like "it's all going to be fine", "there's nothing to worry about", "calm down" just stress them more. You can take care of the issue itself on your own with practical, doable solutions immediately to really take off the rock from their chest.
11) There are 6 resources to humans- status, money, love, information, goods, services. We need all of them but we have a primary one, usually it's the one we didn't get in childhood. You have to be able to ask for the main resource and recognize it from others through their complaints.
12) You can optimize parts of your personality but 35%-55% is genetic while the rest is shaped in early childhood. So don't try to change people or make them better. Just turn fights into discussions: talk about how you're wired, so you don't try to change the other person, but simply ask for your resource. For example, high openness people can say to their romantic partner "are you up to try this new restaurant or should I call my friend?".
13) The big five traits theory- openess, conscientiousness, extraversion, neuroticism, agreeableness. It's the only personality assessment which is scientifically based. Everyone has them, it's a spectrum of high, low, or moderate. Figure out what are your trigger points and have another person take care of it so you stay calm.
14) Conscientiousness difference creates the most relationship problems.
15) Happiness: the small and daily things make you happy- not big, euphoric experiences that happen once in a while. Also, it comes from optimization of your natural personality. This feeling of control, capability and optimization creates happiness.
16) We're biased to think negatively and expect the worse. We can retrain the brain and flip it to a not necessarily positive state but neutral state.
17) A lot of pain, suffering and stress in dating comes from not asking important questions- and going after lust. Ask questions about their values, routines, preferences, religion, future goals, early on so it won't get discovered on the first fight! Avoid giving in to chemical reactions that have no real basis.
18) It's not what you say but how you say it: your tone, cadence and pitch consist of your vocal power. Keep your voice in the lowest range possible.
19) Answer the phone in the right way: speak from the outbreath, and be expressive as they are, to show you're on the same emotional page.
20) Amateur lie detectors do worse than people who don't know anything about lying. Look for leaks in incongruencies, read microexpressions and listen to your first intuition.
21) Couples that show contempt will get divorced in the next 30 years. One sided lip raise shows contempt.
22) Liars look you in the eyes more to see if you believe them. Shifty eyes show nervousness, not necessarily lying.
23) Phone has the most amount of lies. To decrease it, say it "I'm going to be taking notes and send you the full summary afterwards. Please review them and check if we got everything right".
24) In negotiation, make sure you have the downward inflection in your voice and have authorative tone.
25) Prior a meeting, practice saying the hardest things to another human, not mirror.
26) 3 different kinds of proofs: social, testimonals, media.
Lewis Howes Thank you for being an amazing host and interviewing gorgeous Vanessa! The school of greatness is such a great way to learn what truly matters in life :) Wish you two all the best, thank you for inspiring me!
oh my God. thanks
@@seyfun1452 ....i take it that you are a super high conscientious type....thanks for the breakdown
@@WE23anime absolutely right!!
@@seyfun1452 thank you!
I watched this interview twice it was so good! This girl is incredibly smart, resilient, and confident. I actually enjoyed observing her so much! She is such a positive role model for other girls and people in general. Such good points she makes. Was so glad to have found this. Absolutely loved the way you both interacted together as well. Also love how confident Lewis is. I never realised how hot he was before I watched the way he acts in this video.
I love this girl. She's so honest in her interactions.
Me too lol.
Is she ? I mean I like her too but I feel like she knows exactly what she must say and exactly what she shouldn't.
She has mastered the art of getting into a frame of mind before entering a conversation, so the right things come out. I really like the analysis of this right frame of mind. I'd like to talk to her when she's being normal.
@@rajeshj8383 so true. I agree. But her content seems non manipulative too so she is probably a pretty good person without using her learned skills.
@@rajeshj8383 that makes her all the better. I can’t even count all the times Lewis interrupted and interjected and that could have easily made her lose her train of thought. But it didn’t, she still managed to bring the conversation back to the point of what she was talking about.
I love, love, loved this episode. I love how she talked about being a "recovering awkward" person. It made be laugh out loud and feel a sense of relief at the same time. It's good to know that the awkwardness will pass with practice and work. Thank you Lewis, you've really made a difference in my life and in turn my families' life.
Fastlife me too
Captivating face like it
for real tho, I think this is my favorite interview of all time. pretty much ever
Is there the possibility to exist friendship between a man and a woman without sex?!
Which is the line between flerting and aiming sex interraction?
The energetic flow is so organic with these two. I love it, feel like I’m hanging w friends with wonderful conversation. 🧠 ❤️ ⚡️✨
I thought she was friendly flirting at some points 😂😂😂.. but it was respectful whatever it was 😂 Xx
I thought Lewis interrupted her sooooo much. She’s so goood! It didn’t even phase her and she would stay on course.
Love how she explained how to be a better partner in a relationship by understanding if they're more or less neurotic and how to reassure them with what they need! Thank you, Lewis!!!
Her smile is stunning
I love their chemistry. This is one of the first interviews where I felt they acted like it was just the two of them talking.
I saw you at Chalene's marketing impact a couple years ago and found your story so inspiring and memorable. So much has changed for me since then, becoming a mother & wife, LIFE CHANGING. I listen to your podcasts as I drive, run, lift, any time I can and the information and inspiration you spread helps me become a better mom, wife, and overall as a better person! I appreciate the amazing people you bring onto your podcast you attract such positivity and I just want you to know how much I look forward to learning from your podcasts whether it's just five minutes or an hour. THANK YOU!! Keep spreading knowledge, positivity, and kindness!!
The School Of Greatness is really providing the type of education a lot of us wished they`ve had in the traditional educational system. It`s such a pleasure to watch you manifesting this vision that you had with SOG, Lewis. Love your interviews!
This was one of the most awesomeeeeee interviews I have ever seen :))))) love you both..you're such a great people:) much love. Thanks a million:)
I so agree with her opinion on ambivalent people ! They really drain your energy.
Wow! How can you not love her?? Just a lot of energy genuine!
I LOVEEEEEE her!!! I can't believe she said she thinks she's awkward, like in what world?! lol...her personality is one of a kind, draws you in and makes you smile!
I was so nervous to meet you Lewis when we were at the Summit Of Greatness in Ohio. You made me feel so comfortable. You are very present in the moment and that immediately put me at ease with you. You really are a fantastic human being creating amazing connections.
I would like too Lewis. You made quite an impression on all of us with your first one.
not even 30 minutes and I'm already a big fan of Vanessa!! her body language & face expressions are the cutest things ever :D ....ps I'm def getting her book (handsdown)
3 years late in the comments section, but even as a woman I smile at pretty much everyone. That or I do the nod even if I feel intimidated. My personal reason for that is that someone is much less likely to come at you if they see you see them and aknowlege them. People are much less likely to attack someone who faces forward confidently. The sharper your claws the less you need to use them.
wow its been forever since I've watched but glad to se there's an intro Lewis. I'd say work on/ test it more but I like the idea.
Biggest takeaways :
1. vulnerability is sexy
2. own your weirdness
3. your confidence is contagious
wow! didnt expect this. she has a lively personality, plus good knowledge. :)
Harry, if you get a chance to see her in person, you see how fantastic she is in person.
Reza Molavi i will endevour to. thank you my friend!
thanks dr vanessa and the show presenter to praising me
I feel social media is a great tool to get you where you need to be and have so much to talk about that the person can't turn you away. I'm understanding now you have to put yourself into the conversation otherwise you will be left out. I like the part where she said that if you show up to an event and you feel really nervous that others will feel it and without a doubt you will make leave with getting so much out of it that you have no choice but to do something with it.
I love love love this women! Religiously watching your podcasts every morning Lewis, so good!
Two of the loveliest people talking together-what a pleasure!
Own your weirdness! Love it.That was great Lewis. Thank you and a big hug to both of you!
this episode was incredible. Vanessa has info that will help so many! buying her book to read on an upcoming long flight. No where near a failure! No way, no how. Thank you L and Vanessa
Hi Amanda!
Vanessa deserves so much credit and love from her fans!
I am really impressed by everything Vanessa said and want to thank you Lewis for giving me an opportunity to get answers for so many questions that bugged me for so long. You guys are a true inspiration, thank you for what you do.
every new interview manages to be a favorite. I don't know how you do it, but keep doing it!
Getting this book asap. Great interview and she is beautiful!!
Vishal I agree that she is hot as heck and leaked out tons of blazing hotvinformation
Plants evolved before us and they communicate chemically too. Makes sense for us to respond to each other this way. Language is relatively new.
People always remember how you made them feel. Now that's the truth 💖
10:42 I smiled at this guy in a wheelchair and he said "wtf you smiling at?" lol
This woman is incredible, so authentic and smart! I’ve ordered two of her books just now. So excited to read them!
🧡
That’s a strong soulmate connection right here!!!
The chemistry between the two of you is undeniable but also the brave, effortless friendship.
You can just tell it’s soulmates:)))
I've been doing something since February called the Chaos Challenge but I don't want to spoil what it is because one of my goals is to meet Vanessa and have her be the daily participant. It has truly changed my life.
This is my second interview with Vanessa first I came across at Impact Theory which I loved 🥰 was awesome interview and now with Lewis I do really love this girl she is so positive wickedly smart and very honest thanks to Lewis also for his work and effort also very positive and nice guy . Kepp up the great work
Glad you enjoy it! 😊
One of my favorite conversations. She's amazing and spot on.
I read her first book and it's helped so much! This video just makes me like her more and Lewis you are always a great host! Great job to you both!
wow. When im going thru my notes on this podcast i have NEVER had so much of notes as i have now :D Amazing podcast, Vanessa is absolutely wonderful women. I have to read that book :D Thanks Lewis! :)
I am 4 chapters into CAPTIVATE and I am loving it. It is a great book and a very fun read. Well done Vanessa!
The ambivalence was the best insight i got from it. Was exactly what killed my last relationship.
Maybe times have changed, but in the 1990s when I was in high school, the popular kids were not necessarily the ones who like the most people but they were the ones who were feared by the most people.
Very interesting. And Vanessa's voice is a pleasure to listen to. Beautiful Vanessa. Much love. xx
Vanessa Van Edwards and Lewis Howes, you have done a great job with this podcast!
You have put some very complicated and scientific information in terms that everyone can understand.
I’m teaching Human Relations and communications and I love this idea about excitement or fear transferred from person to person as a chemical and hormonal marker. Wow! If you can influence your own attitude and state of mind, you can influence other people just my being near them without saying a word.
Vanessa, you are going to sell lots of books. I love your stories and examples.
Lewis, you have done an amazing job with the podcast and the videos. Thanks for the inspiration!!!
Attila
I would love to review or give feedback, but when I clicked on the link nothing happened. Would you provide a link maybe through your website? Anyhow, your content is amazing! Thank you for inspiring millions of people!
I listened to this podcast on Spotify, and it was so interesting I'm re-watching on YT. I plan on buying both her books. Terrific podcast!
Thank you so much❤️
Vanessa Van Edwards is such a beautiful and inspiring person. I love this so much!
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Thank you so much ❤
New 'all time favorite' episode, Vanessa Van Edwards is such an incredible human, driven by meaningful work and consistently delivering in an authentic way! Just like the one and only Lewis Howes👌Thank you both for all that you do, your work has changed my life and I'm so, sO grateful for that! 🤗🙏
Wonderful interview. I can't wait to read Vanessa's book and keep moving forward with my passions!
Keep it up team!
I love watching her and listening to her speak. Very smart woman. There's a lot of aha moments every time I watch her.
Vanessa has the coolest communication style. Her cadence and tone is so special! =)
Thanks for the fun episode! It's inspired me to "infect" everyone around me with excitement more intentionally (and I'm already seeing improvements in my relationships!!) So glad I paused the podcast app to watch this video because it was fun to follow along with the body language cues, haha.
Keep up the greatness, you two!
Loved her, great companion on my AM walk :)
what a great way to listen I'll have to try it
I could listen to these two forever
I’ve got to stop watching this podcast ...I buy all the books! Including THIS one. AMAZING!
Appreciate you! 🙏
I'm glad I herd this about high neurotic people because I always worry and I thought that it can't be normal.
I didn’t even know I was popular in school until my friends told me I was lol it makes sense saying this bc I was friendly with everyone even though I was very alternative in my style I was friends with every group. I made friends in all the groups and was kind to everyone. I made friends with nerdy kids all the way to my other popular friends. I hung out mostly with middle of the spectrum kids even though my main group I grew up with was apparently the popular group (although none of us considered this bc we were the skater/alt group lol). I never thought about it that way but I just was happy to see people and always waved or hugged and was excited to see anyone I knew 😂 so that makes sense. Of course some people hated me for being friendly with everyone or were jealous of this but you can’t please everyone 🤷🏻♀️
Me too. I only found out when my boss told me in my review that I was very personable and people are comfortable talking to me and because of that I woud make a great leader.
The 😍 TWO OF YOU 😍 would make a great couple 💖. I know you're married Vanessa... and Lewis, you're in a relationship, but there's definitely some magical attraction going on here. ADORABLE!!!!
I just discovered each of you tonight. Your smiles are INFECTIOUS, you're both GORGEOUS, INTERESTING and INSPIRING.
Thanks for sharing your past struggles and vulnerabilities and for such an informative video!!!
Yes.🙏🏻
Am I the only one sense his tiredness and rushing at the end of the interview? He even blocked his face using the book. And that caused her fawning with huge smile and trying to catch his eyes while he was dodging her eye contact. I don’t know. Vanissa is a kind, genuine sweetheart. I feel bad and sorry for her for the ending part. She deserves an apology, at least in my book. Otherwise it’s a great interview.
Absolutely best interview ever. Best interview of Lewis. And one of best Vanessa's interviews.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for listening.
I had Vanessa’s book on my Audible wish list, and scrolled back to this interview to decide if it was the best choice of book for this month....Yes.
I’m a group fitness instructor and have an endless storehouse of energy and motivation to workout. I often think about how I intend for people to catch that from me (like it’s a contagious thing) but didn’t know if that idea had any validity. I love how she talked about that concept and how it’s scientifically proven. 🙏🏼
Omg! She’s so cute! I love her! You always have great guests, Lewis! You always deliver excellence!
Incredible video! I think I share some character traits of Vanessa.
I really loved the whole PQ/EQ, optimization and capability talk. I love topics on the science of the brain and people!
This girl is awesome.
❤ Excellent. Something that never gets discussed with a men and women's insecurities
Glad you enjoyed it!
Lewis, fantastic interview. Vanessa is one of my favorites. Her research and insight on human interaction is fascinating. And love her book, Captivate, reading it now.
You have some of the most interesting and informative guests. Thank you sir.,well done again.
Vanessa is awesome! Thanks for watching.
I have just discovered Venessa but i already like her!
Yesssss!!!! 37:48
"I love big ideas, but I know a an athlete that you have to execute on a daily basis to make them happen"
This was a great conversation to listen to while working on a project proposal!
The chemistry between these two is electric.
Wow! Whoever said Smiling was contagious was absolutely right on point. Thanks for transmitting your positive vibes and points. XOXO 💯💓😁😁😁🙌🙌🙌👑👑👼👸
That's crazy! I never thought of ambivalence people! It's so true! There are days when I want a toxic coworker back because I know where I stand with them. I really hate the silent gossip types.
Control, capability and optimization are the key to be happy. Loved that part, plus the tetris effect.
Great interview! I love to hear Vanessa, her observations and advice are so good. She is a real expert in body language and in the science of people, in general. Congratulations for this episode, Lewis.
Lewis, I absolutely loved this interview... Truly powerful, inspirational and reassuringly comforting. Vanessa's awkwardness is her superpower! Truly a beautiful Soul.
She's fascinating and incredibly insightful. Loved the interview.❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much for watching!
Loved this podcast! Many brilliant gold nuggets here. Just bought your book Vanessa. Looking forward to learning more from you!
So, I always thought I couldn't calm down as quickly as other people because I'm a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), but I may be neurotic too! 😂 Powerful talk. I have owned my weirdness for years, but not my competence, capability or power to be loving or forgiving.
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Thanks for this great interview!! Vanessa has been one of feel people that helped change my way of seing and interact with life. I watched her course on The Great Course Plus and I felt in Love with what I learned from her. Even know english is not my first language, Im a brazilian and my primary language is portugues, it's still clean enough to understand everything!! May God Bless all!!
I loved this episode! It was fascinating start to finish because it not only teaches about connecting better with other people but also taught me a ton about myself. I'm totally a "recovering awkward" person. Lol Keep up the great content Lewis! 😁
The hand hugs and SOUND that went with it 😂😂😂😂
The information about the "fear" smell is interesting. I used to think it was just "reading the room" using cues from visual observation to try and anticipate whats going on around you. I assume that more women have this kind of "6th sense" too since they pick up on body-language more so than the average man? Very interesting.
Great energy in this episode! I was positively surprised by how both of you opened up and showed very personal stories. Thank you
You're welcome 🧡
Lewis Howes W/Vanessa Van Edward's appreciate your commentary Listening from Mass USA TYVM 💙 Vanessa
Love this!! Took 2 days for me to finish but I absolutely love listening to both of you separately so I LOVED listening to you two together. I sent the interview to all my friends :)
Negotiating, re: vocal pitch, totally agree not to have vocal inflection go up. In addition to pitch going down, it still sounds strong on repeating the pitch
SHES REAL, AND AMAZING
i love you! you are so cool, humble, real, great interviewer you know when to shut up lol and also when to ask more questions. even when you have people that don't really answer your questions and keep going on and on you know how to still try to stay on point. but love how you have all these people i have been finding "naturally". its such a small world but now really. anyways you ROCK
Lewis is always a sweetheart. Love him ❤
Vanessa is amazing. Thank you both for this extremely helpful and intelligent conversation.
So many notes from this one single podcast. Thank you both for this awesome conversation. Started as a form of procrastination (not gonna lie, right? ) and ended up as one of the most valuable things in a long time. Cheers from the Czech republic.
This is one of my favorite books I read this year! I loved that she read her own audiobook. So much value!!
HI Maam Vanessa your personality it so amazing and very attractive the way how you explained i love it too much. enjoying to watch again and agiain this vedio.💟
She is my spirit animal!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Just went to Amazon to purchase her book after listening to this podcast. Thank you!
I enjoyed watching this interview and learnt about some interesting concepts. Thank you Vanessa and Lewis for sharing such empowering and transformational content.
Bought this book read it already, Great book, dont buy starsucks coffee today and tomorrow just invest money for buying this amazing book!
I lived in NY and she just described a typical way people get their gold chains and bags snatched in the subways...it 'almost' happened to me one time but I 'got that feeling' and walked away before the 3 guys that were surrounding me had a chance to mugged me .
you're one of a kind person Mr Lewis
Favorite guest so far
I needed this that you Lewis
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5:50 what makes popular ppl popular- like more people
15:35 approaching ppl
Maverick Gyamfi Gotta be fake to do that? Psychopath!