It's worse than it sounds. Thane doesn't have "lizard cancer", he has a species-specific version of Multiple Sclerosis. Dude is in a hospital, getting constant treatment, but he can't breathe properly and he has dizzy spells and numbness. Cardio messes him up. He still goes toe to toe with Kai "bad fanfic self-insert" Leng before dying.
Can confirm Kai Leng is a cheating edgelord scrub. The second fight with him is a giant "YOU DIDN'T WIN!" where he cheats, runs away then sends you a shitpost email
I have always and will always maintain that Shepard didn't lose to Kai Leng on Thessia, but to the gunship. Apart from the fact that on easier difficulty settings its actually possible to softlock your game by killing him too quick.
My favorite part is the back and forth between him and Shepard when you finally fight him. Shepard: "You ran on Thessia! You ran at the Citadel!" Kai Leng: "Shut up! (ಥ﹏ಥ)"
You know what's even funnier? If you beat Kai Leng's ass hard enough in one of the fights, the fight just breaks. You HAVE to let him run back and suck his thumb and recharge his shields.
My last playthrough in the final Kai Leng fight I was using the Particle Beam and he turned to goo before the cutscene triggered. It was extra cathartic.
I think Saron did something like that to me in ME1 (original) when I had everyone lock his powers and weapon down at once as soon as the fight started. With his health still pretty much maxed, he just floated there, shook his fist, and initiated the following scene.
Because that ending is next level, one cringe space ninja man no matter how lame, is nothing compared to a ending that throws everything you worked towards across three games in the bin.
@@li-limandragon9287 Mass Effect 2 is one of my favorite games ever, and I love 99.9% of Mass Effect 3. The ending to ME3 is so bad it permanently soured me on the series.
Honestly I was there in the thick of the mess and I still remember people mocking Kai Leng. It's just hes so lame as the years went by people forgot he existed. At least the ending was memorably bad.
@@Nickels-n-Dimes Whoa hold on there chief! Then again, multiple Langs would be pretty damn cool. Why he never failed, there’s an army of clones to cover for his edgelord shittiness
Kai Leng is like that one dude from Indiana Jones who did all the sword flips and flourishes and then Indy just shoots him once and he dies but is treated as if he's final boss material
To be fair, I feel really bad for that actor, because they had a huge choreography prepared but for different circumstances, he couldn't do it and now is a joke.
Ngl, if you told me about a character who presents as this badass but their major accomplishment was stealing someone’s cereal, I’d find that to be the most endearing thing in the world. Shame that’s bot the case here.
@@trevingrayek1671 I have the exact same thought about it. If he weren't such a miserable fucking fanfiction OC it could've just been this cute character along the same lines as Conrad.
So Kai Lang proves the shadow broker right, that if Miranda and Jacob leave Cerberus is crippled. Kai Lang is the best agent the elusive man has, when those two leave and can't beat a guy who needs an oxygen tank to sleep.
Its well established in all three games that reviving Shepard is basically the only successful project Cerberus ever had, literally everything else they ever touch ends in disaster. Its an organization with two hyper-competent individuals, and everyone else (including the Illusive Man) is a bumblefuck.
@@matrix3509 well to be fair cereberus goes up against Shepard(the player) so it makes sense they fail. Even there biggest success when they take omega is ruined when plot Armour Shepard comes in and takes it back for aria a crime boss instead of the general who seems way more honorable than aria(whom petrovsky let's live in the initial capture)who tries to kill him immediately after she retakes the afterlife
Don't worry, they make up for the lack of ability with lots of grunts that have SUPER AUGMENTS. They are improved with worse aim, dumb armor, and the ability to do stuff off screen.
I love Kai Leng, he's so PERFECT in his awfulness. After everything you've faced in this series, you see this guy and your immediate gut reaction is something like "Oh honey, you're not ready for this. Here, sit down, I'll make you some tea." It's like he's just this cosplayer who saw the apocalypse happening and thought "Yes, this is my moment. I finally have an excuse to unleash my TRUE SELF."
Everytime I play ME3 I am vibing until I hit him and roll my eyes and groan through the encounter. They should have just integrated the Shepherd clone into the main game and had him take Kai Lengs place. Have him somehow escape at the encounter at Cerberus HQ so that he can show up in the Citadel DLC
He reminds me of the dude in that Operation Ghost game by Sega that's in some arcades who's like "my knives are faster than your guns" 🤣 like nooooo sweetie.....Don't make a fool of yourself. Like on Thessia? I literally beat him so bad and the only reason he walked away with the VI was cuz of that chopper in the air....And then at the Cerberus Base, I cut through him quick as can be.
Yeah but cancer ridden space John Wick got a 3 month terminal life sentence *9 months* before the start of the game which means that *he could have died at any point during ME2*.
"Space John Wick" had trouble breathing, dizzy spells, and couldn't do cardio for long without getting seriously fatigued. Yet Kai "Self Insert Space Ninja" Leng still managed to lose to him despite having biotic powers, cyborg parts, some of the best military training available in the Galaxy, and the advantage that Space John Wick had trekked his way across a warzone space station beforehand. No matter how much a a badass Thane was originally, there is no defense of Kai Leng for this, it was just that pathetic.
The best (worst?) part about Thane kicking Kai Leng's ass is that KL succeeded in stabbing Thane before running away, BUT! It was a completely clean wound, Thane literally walked it off in S E C O N D S and starts shooting toward running KL. He didn't even die from it, he died from his disease because he lost blood and he needed all the blood he had.
That and he was more so going to die soon given he was in his last month or so by doctors. That he didn't even attempted temporarily joining Shepard because he couldn't do what he did during the suicide mission. If anything it obviously shows if Thane wasn't on Deaths bed already he win pretty easily. Honestly I always pick the final renegade option during the chair scene so don't know what else happens. But the whole part Shepard saying this is for killing Thane is giving Lang undeserved credit... Mind at the time I liked it due to easily emotional manipulation and etc. Still Lang only victory was due to poor writing/game design and everything else shows him as the scrub he is🤣.
@@VanTesla KL never won. On Thessia he got his ass kicked again, so Cerberus brought in gunship that blows up the temple - while KL was smugly hiding behind cover fire. Also, i love that mission, Javik dabbing on Liara and whole asari culture is delicious.
@@teacakes6861 I should better worded. His "win" in that I mean like you said he needed the gunship. But in my original that I meant to cover in the bad writing and scripted cutscene. Given even with said Gunship he should have lost given Shepard and his companions dealing with worse situations easily. I mean remember how the fight plays and even when easily win it just ignores that. In essence the scene that played out was so unbelievably stupid. Mind that can be given to all scenes with Kai Lang. Even when we get to kill him it is just meh. I would say in fact this is the most discussion Kai Lang has likely gotten since original ME3 release. All just to bash on the clown of a character 🤣. As others stated he is also strangely forgettable till brought up😅.
@@teacakes6861 Just to further clarify I mean the gunship shouldn't been a big problem. We talking about Shepard who has dealt with such things on occasion. With usually squads, a mini boss, or two gunships. Sure the floor being hollow and going for the supports... But again bad cutscene given Shepard didn't do anything and let it happen... So the way Shepard failed is because of a scene we have no control in where Shepard does absolutely nothing... Then the wannabe Ninja gloats about it... I really wish in a petty way we could have conveyed Thane's taunt directly at Kai Lang. Prior to the killing and to mock the guy.
@@VanTesla Amen. Also, my first ME3 run was pure hero, so i know what happens when you don't renegade stab him in third encounter - after gunning him and like a dozen cerberus dudes you sit down and start browsin' the console. KL sneaks up behind and tries to stab, and if you press renegade prompt you stab him instead, which is cool. But you if don't press it, KL misses you! I shit you not, Shepard not even dodging, he misses you point blank with a fucking sword and your team guns him down, this time for good. I think it is even better end, because he died liked he lived - with a wet fart.
Kai Leng's evil harem ninjas are actually way more dangerous than him. Cerberus Phantoms have a one-hit-kill attack. Kai Leng doesn't. He's a boss-character who's less dangerous than his own adds.
@@SirFeatureCreature This is why smart people shoot their enemies with guns instead of just bodyslamming them. You're a lot harder to instantly kill with a one-hit-melee-attack when you're not facefucking every enemy in the game.
It's even better and way stupider than that: Kai Leng does have a one-hit kill, it's the same instant kill animation that the Phantoms have... but you get a button-mash prompt to escape it that, if successful, evades it and damages him. His insta-kill is literally a *SHITTIER* version lol.
You guys are calling him Shadow the hedgehog, but the Infinite in sonic forces is literally _that guy_ to Shadow. Shadow doesn't even remember him when Infinite rants about not being weak anymore.
@varna Shadow is more adapt though, because like Kai Keng he’s not the main antagonist, he’s “the rival”... who was completely unnecessary. Knuckles already filled the role of foil but noooo *not edgy enough*
What’s hilarious is Infinite by comparison doesn’t get nearly as bitched out as Leng, cause Shadow was already leagues stronger by a country mile, on top of not dying of cancer.
So you should always do the renegade interrupt after his last fight, but the absolute funniest thing about Kai Leng, far better than his adrenaline fueled cereal eating, is that if you DON'T take the renegade interrupt and break his sword... he fucking MISSES and Shepard shanks him anyhow
Pat is late to the party on this, but he's so fucking right and it's mega cathartic to listen to. "He looks like he doesn't belong in Mass Effect." Nobody has ever said anything more correct.
After playing through so many times I just sorta pretend Shepard just deletes the email before even reading it cause they know it's just his lame prank/ edgy comments.
This character is so forgettable. I literally forget him every time. Like i swear people have reminded me more times than i can remember, and yet i never remember this guy
My favorite part of Kai Leng is that he literally cant do anything without screwing up in some way. He'll fail to kill the Councilor in 99% of playthroughs Traynor tracks him to Horizon after he steals the Thessia object Miranda plants a bug on him that leads you to Cerberus HQ. He sucks so bad.
I'm betting thr writer for Kai Leng chose what was "canon" for default (no save import) playthrough since in these, there is nobody to save the councilor.
@@music79075 rachni queen is dead, Wrex is dead, the council died, Udina became chancellor, Legion, Jack, Thane, Kelly, Kaidan, Morinth, Samara and Grunt died (possibly Jacob, can't remember well), the data on the genophage was destroyed and Tali was banished.
Fuck the ending discourse, Kai Leng is actually the worst part about ME3. That fight on Thessia sucked so hard. Like oh here's this gunship you obliterated in ME2 at the beginning of the game, but for some reason you just can't beat it here because I don't know it has flood lights or something.
He goes against the rules of the game. In Mass Effect most enemy follows the rules of combat with health shield and armor regardless of how important they are even a boss fight can get some statuses. There’re a few exceptions but they were huge boss shaped enemies like the human reaper at the end of 2. Kai Leng in 3 where stasis is buffed is completely immune to it. When I first played it I thought he had a special shield that only he had, nope the Shadow Broker was the one with the special shield.
@@J_Themborn You can cheat right back at him. Complete the Omega DLC and equip Aria's Lash bonus power. Fully upgraded, it ignores protection. Meaning you can non-stop ragdoll that asshole in both fights against him...and boy does it feel _good_ to bully him :P.
The worst part about Kai Leng is that not only does he suck, he's so utterly forgettable. I will never remember Kai Leng on my own. I have to be reminded of that character's existence, and I've played ME3 twice.
I had no idea who the title was referring to until Pat says Mass Effect 3. Before this moment the best I could manage was "wait wasnt there a stupid cyborg ninja in ME3?"
If you don’t take the renegade interrupt to kill Kai Leng (even though he dies either way, but I’ll be damned if I don’t give him the additional “fuck you” of shattering his precious katana) you’re objectively playing the game wrong.
Its funny how not taking the option isn't even all that different. You let him hit the keyboard and then kill him. Its pathetic either way like whoever animated both sequences wanted his death to be as mediocre and a splash of cool piss in the face to the guy who wrote him. Tldr. The renegade option is literally breaking his favorite toy before you kill him by comparison.
I love the bit where he jumps on Shepard's car during the Citadel air chase, and he takes forever to dramatically look up because he's that desperate to look cool.
As someone who's never touched Mass Effect, I had never heard of Kai Leng, hearing Pat describe him makes me think he comes from some alternate universe Hunt Down the Freeman but for Mass Effect.
The best part about Kai Leng is that gameplay-wise he’s just a reskinned Phantom except he’s actually weaker because he doesn’t have the instakill. Second-best part: The fight with Thane obviously only happens if he survived ME2. But if he didn’t, Kirrahe from ME1 will intervene instead. If Kirrahe also died, Kai Leng will actually succeed and kill the Councillor. In other words, you need to have fucked up twice for him to get a win on you.
Kirahe the old ass silarian also puts up a pretty good fight against leng as well and he's not even close to Thanes level Kai really does just suck ass
I know this comment is old, but I would like to add that the skin they slapped on him is a custom head, on a N7 Slayer's body. Which is funny because the Slayer is a vanguard with some insane biotic abilities(in universe). This not only makes him weaker than where his move set comes from, but weaker than where his skin comes from.
Holy fuck. I knew ME3 had a short development but fucking 14 MONTHS!? It is astounding and a credit to how good Bioware once was that even half that game was as good as it was. Christ.
Yeah, it was actually going to come out in 2011 too surprisingly. Essentially EA fucked them over and said “you gotta make a game even better than ME2 in half the time.”
@@Takashita_Sukakoki no shot I’ve watched quite a few videos on the dev cycle, and no competent dev team would turn down more time on a 14 month cycle, it’s illogical.
@@217adaptiveperspective 6 yeara of getting constantly fucked over by ea and the main bioware team Having any and all ideas they had thrown out the window because it was outsode the scope of the support EA was giving them Or having main bioware team devs butt in and demanding they change shit. And bad management. And having the team be spread over multiple regions while also having shit communication.
Thank you Editor Woolie for reducing the lead-in time to the video. I know you may not know if we noticed, but we did, and we appreciate it greatly. Sincerely, The people who listen to these in the background.
Literally the only thing memorable of Kai in my only playthrough was, no shit, one-shotting him at the Cerberus base in such spectacular fashion. I was an Infiltrator and immediately cloaked to try to get some distance or cover, but he bum-rushed me like it didn't even matter. So while he was closing the distance, I was charging a shot from my Geth Javelin sniper rifle, and nailed a point blank headshot on him just as he got to me. This so called master assassin couldn't last even 10 seconds against a sniper at their most troublesome range. Pathetic.
On one hand I love how much they drag Kai Leng. On the other this video keeps re-emerging in my recommendations and reminding me of Kai Leng against my consent.
I remember playing this back when it came out and thinking- "They're doing this on purpose, right? They want me to think this dude is a huge jobber? There's no way they think he's cool." And Pat, don't you dare talk shit about the greatest assassin in the galaxy, Thane. Thane is JUST THAT GOOD and he got all the heat they wanted Kai Leng to have. And then the best scene in the game happens after he beats him.
Literally all I know about this character is that he (SPOILERS) Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet. So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death. -KL
I love how after he's introduced the game has a scene where they literally say "That guy should be ashamed." because someone basically almost dead from lung cancer kicks his ass.
Technically if you start with ME3 by itself then he kills the Councilor and makes a clean getaway. And remember what the marketing said, "If you have never played a Mass Effect game before, ME3 is the best place to start."
@@andrewaddison777 Well that's honestly dumb if anyone did say that, because a fresh save file on ME3 is set up to be prime material for an absolutely tragic experience, with multiple important characters from previous entries already dead from the start
ME3 came out the same year as MGR if I'm not mistaken. You could've fought Kai Leng and Jetstream Sam back to back shortly after each released. Just imagine that.
I dont like the thane disrespect going on here. Its not that hes so bad a lizard cancer dude can sneak up on him. Its thane is so good he can sneak up on him even with advanced stage lizard cancer
The best part of Thane beating up Leng is how it unintentionally makes Thane even cooler. Even on the brink of death, Thane snuck up and beat down this dweeb. If Thane was healthy he would've 100% killed Leng there lol.
@@altoid3453 Yeah never meant to imply he wasnt cool. Thane knows how and probably has killed Turians and Krogan with his bare hands lol. It's just hilarious in a scene meant to show how cool and dangerous Leng is, instead it just shows further why Thane is a badass.
So, here's the fun bit about Kai Leng. PRIOR to the release of Mass Effect 3, there were a series of Mass Effect books which star Mr. Leng as their POV character. These books aren't TERRIBLE. But they DO read like those Star Trek books that William Shatner commissioned back in the day about Captain Kirk -- the ones that served to mostly jerk off Captain Kirk and by proxy, William Shatner. Then, during prerelease coverage of ME3, you can interviews where Bioware folks are GIDDILY talking about how Cerberus is 'back' and in a 'big' way and how they have a FOIL to Commander Shepard that makes them ULTRA dangerous oooooo~ The people conducting those interviews, despite the tight lips of Bioware, IMMEDIATELY called out that the only person this 'mystery anti-shepard' could be was Kai Leng. Because Kai Leng is the *ONLY* character who is *EVER* compared to Commander Shepard. Ever. No character compares Wrex to Shepard. Or Ashely. Or Vega, or Garrus *fucking* Vakarian! Because *EVERYONE* else gets to be their *OWN* badass in the ME universe, they do their own badass things independent of Shepard and are recognized as individuals, who just so happen to hang out with Shepard. This is good, since it not only makes Shepard look cool, by letting Shepard be Shepard, but it makes eeeeeeeeveryone else look cool too, by letting them *NOT* be 'Commander Shepard but...' Not Kai Leng though. Kai Leng, of all characters, is constantly reffered to as the 'anti-shepard'. Which is somewhat funny, when you realize cerberus has an ACTUAL CLONE OF SHEPARD that would have been an unironically BETTER choice for the main campaign as a counter to commander shepard -- you COULD have saved Kai Leng for the Citadel DLC and had a BLAST with him being this galaxy trotting psychic cyborg ninja samurai assassin... and having NOBODY hear about him. The jokes write themselves. But no. Instead we unironically get a guy who's biggest claim to fame is that he's called the 'anti-shepard' without anybody realizing that THAT termonology, "anti-shepard" means that he is everything Shepard is not. Such as: Charismatic, driven, capable, successful, well-liked, respected, skilled, good humored, caring, relentless, AND MANY MORE THINGS! practically
The funny part is that in the multiplayer, you can play a Vanguard class called the *N7 Slayer,* who basically have Kai Leng's moves but not his name or personality, or L's Already cooler.
So is Woolie making these thumbnails or hired someone to do them? Cos either way they look quite nice. Also that ceral nonsense is great, god I love bad game novels
Eh. Personally I'm not a fan of the conventional Reaction Image-ass thumbnail, but I do also know that apparently they play nicer with the almighty algorithm, so I can tolerate it.
@@The5lacker I'm going to be honest; I hate the aesthetic of Human Revolution. Everything is too angular, everything is covered in piss-yellow and all the characters are wearing renaissance fair outfits. The sunglasses built into his face are the worst.
There's something to be said for an in-universe tryhard character. Revolver Ocelot and Teruki Hanazawa are great not because they're cool, but because they absolutely think they're cool. A properly written Kai Leng would be largely the same but with the rest of the cast being appropriately baffled by his goofiness.
I found out about a mod that straight up just takes out all of kai legs dialogue and changes his appearance to be a male version of the phantom enemies that he's the boss of, makes him match cerberous visual design. Legit improves his character so much. When the way to improve a character is to literally take out all of his dialogue you know you fucked up.
I know this is a hot take but Kai Leng is way overheated he's an extremely cool character. Heck he's even better then Virgil who's actually kinda lame when you think about. I know that's gonna get a lot of hate but let me just explain why: Good. You expanded this comment. This isn't actually an explanation on why Kai Leng is cool because he's actually a total bitch.
Thing is though the best thing about Vergil is that he’s actually a bit lame, he’s this dude who constantly carries a katana, refuses to have fun and is unable to live up a impossible legacy and gets petulant when things don’t go according to plan. And that nasally voice. Vergil is great because he can be awesome and threatening while still being kinda of a loser. Kylo Ren could’ve been a similar character if the sequel trilogy hadn’t shit the bed. This Kai Leng guy is all the edge and wannabe coolness with nothing to back it up.
One of my favorite things about the terrible Kai Leng cereal novel is that they never even made the promised revised version. They just hid in the corner until people stopped asking them about it.
I had completely forgotten about this character but, Pat's description brought it back. I remember having the same reaction. Everyone is talking about how amazing and dangerous Kai Leng was but, everything I saw made him look like a parody. I was expecting the whole scenario to be some kind of rich kid paying to pretend to be awesome.
@@darkpuppetlordful I mean it's actually the getj infiltrator if we're being honest. The geth Juggernaut is a close.second in my heart just because brick tank house
This is why Sam is the best in Revengence. Cause in midst of all the superpowered cyborg bullshit, he's just a guy with a cool suit and a REALLY cool sword Also his theme is amazing
Heihatchi despite being a douchebag is awesome because he’s fighting his laser spamming son and grandson and doing well because he’s just that strong. Sam is the same, he can cut a Ray apart because he’s just badass.
I will always remember the fight my engineer Shepard had against Leng in the Asari temple. Sabotage w/+100% tech damage, and maxed out Overload. Bitch didn't take five steps without "falling back to heal."
7:35 - Yeah. Coming from someone who played 1 and 2 with three different Shepherds before finally getting to 3 with almost all of its vital DLC and finishing it, unspoiled, eight years after the original release came out, and you can feel it on the wall. Granted, it kinda depends on your situation. But I'm sitting on the opposite end of solving the Geth and Quarian conflict only to get to the Mass Effect 3 ending and the game is telling me I can't solve that type of problem so we're all doomed. But I literally already solved that problem. I didn't hate Mass Effect 3 or its ending, but I certainly didn't LOVE its "best" ending and its things like what Pat's describing that did it for me, in addition to the fact that you just don't see the other side of the ending really. Not in the way a massive trilogy like Mass Effect would warrant. You'd WANT the 40 minutes falling action akin to Return of the King, but you don't get that. That's the true sour note in 3's ending for me.
Interesting theory by Pat. I remember getting the vibe that this guy supposed to be something to worry about and then literally laughing every time he's on screen 🤣
I will NEVER get over how the big fight with him on Thessia concludes with him summoning a gunship to give him covering fire while he runs away, then he sends you a fucking email talking about how he won that fight and is so much better than you, and I was just reading it like "fucking WHAT?", I wasn't even angry, I was confused as hell at why he was bragging about winning a fight he lost, and I know he lost because I WAS THERE
I legit forgot that Kai Leng exists, seriously, I don't remember him even right now that Pat is talking about him, I can't remember encountering him in ME3. Hell, I remember the awful Jessica Chobot cameo, but not Kai Leng
At least the awful Jessica Chobot cameo was something we could choose to ignore. Remember, you have the option of either bringing her on the Normandy or not. There is no choice with Kai Leng, we have to suffer regardless.
As someone who knew nothing and had never played Mass Effect until getting the Legendary Edition, Kai Lang was a real interesting surprise. He was such and unlikeable, cringey, tryhard, self-insert OC, wannabe billy badass that he single-handedly brought down the game. He (and really the rest of Cerberus) really just serves no purpose in the story besides dragging it down- they add nothing, they don't do anything that random Indoctrinated or the Reapers couldn't, and yet the game does basically everything to insist that they are a massive threat. They even give Kai a "nuh-uh you can't hurt me" anti-everything shield so that you can't beat him until they finally let you. He was so bad, I didn't even think about all the other shortcomings ME3 had. Finally stabbing him on Cronos Station is such sweet relief, I can't even tell you. It felt like I was finally free. Shame that only happens at the end of the game.
Kai Leng reminds me of that one guy in From Russia With Love who was supposed to be a super awesome Anti-Bond and he got his shit rocked on that train.
Having just played LE, I feel he doesn’t need to be there. A more interesting idea would’ve be that out of Jack,Miranda and Jacob, you can only save 2, the one left behind gets warped into serving Cerberus. More emotional punch that way.
The worst part of the Revengance Nightwing rivalry is that he doesn't even APPEAR until halfway through the game, and even then you only meet him like 3 times. That no where near enough time to establish someone who is treated as the Dragon of Cerberus. Edit: I can't speak for the novels, but I will say what little I've seen of the books they actually handle Kai better for one reason, he keeps loosing, but then he upgrades. Shot in the legs, amputee them and get cybernetics. Overpowered by biotics, get better ones. Hand gets broken, get a cyber one with a freaking Shotgun. It really adds to his "I WILL BE BETTER" personality. They should had that be the plot in ME3 where everytime you beat him he gets more and more Reaper Tech, instead of this Gary Stue BS.
The coolest thing about Kai Leng is how you kill him. He's sneaking up on Shepard, about to stab him, when you spin around, shatter his sword, and shank him with the omni-blade.
I literally forgot that character existed until I saw this pop up in my feed. Like goddamn Kai was such a lame wet fart in the legacy of Mass Effect characters
I'm so glad they dropped that lameass version pretty quick. I remember the story was that he was the real Lobo and the one we'd known and loved for years was a fake or some shit. That just made the new one ten times lamer. Man, New 52 had some dumb character changes.
Amen to that, the law of fanfiction is quite simple. Most of it is mediocre, some of it is legitimately great and some if it is UTTER DOGSHIT But reading it let's you be able to spot those dogshit tropes in canon works from a MILE off
Remember, Disney made a trilogy of Star Wars movies no plan whatsoever and tried to make Creulla DeVille sympathetic by having dogs push her mom over a cliff. “Professional” quality is a goddamn myth.
I'm reminded of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Dude jumps out of the crowd and swings and twirls and edgelords a pair of scimitars and Indy just pulls out his gun and shoots him.
That scene was originally intended to be an epic fight, but Spielberg had to cut out scenes and replaced it with Indy simply shooting the challenger. Wich, unintentionally became an even more memorable scene in the movie.
Going with the Metal Gear parallels...I think the fight against Gray Fox is a good example. Because the way you beat him is by using Chaff grenades to interfere with his cybernetics and that fight becomes a straight fist fight halfway through, and it ends in a draw.
I honestly don't remember using chaff grenades to fight him, but I think the comparison works because Grey Fox isn't supposed to be the coolest and strongest. He's pretty much a broken man on the verge of death at that point.
I remember genuinely laughing my ass off when the mission came up that Cerberus had invaded the Citadel. It was just one of those moments that I realized the writers had not paid attention to the lore of the previous games and wanted to make Space COD. That was only further solidified with Kai Leng, he existed to be the supra kewl badass but only succeeded in pissing off the fanbase with how lame he was.
They screwed cerberus up in me3. Me1 they were some random organization found in some optional side quest Me2 nah we're good guys. The alliance and council are to lazy to kill the fake dead protheans so you kill them for us Me3 holy shit now we're space isis
I've never heard of Kai Leng since I never played ME3, so I looked him up and found the picture Pat was talking about right above an article titled: "Kai Leng Would Have Sucked Less If He Shut The Fuck Up." Incredible.
They could have fixed his entire character with one line of dialogue: " He's using some sort of experimental Cerberus / Reaper tech, my bullets aren't hitting him!" Is he a bad fighter? Yeah, but he's being carried by new tech. Thane had to run up and punch him only to get stabbed? Yes, because shooting him has been explained to not work. He's able to beat you on Thessia? Because you haven't learned how to beat his tech yet. Just give a reason for the Plot Armor, and people will stop calling it Plot Armor.
"3 vs 1, these are bad odds" "No, now it's fun" You know, every sci fi space opera game, but especially shooters, has been dogged for twenty years by the question "How does it measure up to Halo?", and if I were the guy at Bioware writing the dialogue I would REALLY focus on avoiding anything that calls that question back into the player's mind, especially from a tryhard character like Kai Leng, quoting the Shipmaster does not make him seem any cooler
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The fact that Kai Leng is the lamest person in a galaxy full of badasses is legitimately the funniest thing about him.
Conrad Verner is better at playing a badass than Kai Leng.
When even wannabe badass *Conrad Verner* is cooler than you.
Even *before* he gets his moment in 3.
Nobody ever topped Garrus’s reintroduction in ME2 in terms of badassery.
Blasto the Hanar Spectre is more badass than Kai Leng could ever dream of being
Heck, even that one Volus who thought he was "a biotic GOD" was more badass than Kai Leng.
It's worse than it sounds. Thane doesn't have "lizard cancer", he has a species-specific version of Multiple Sclerosis. Dude is in a hospital, getting constant treatment, but he can't breathe properly and he has dizzy spells and numbness. Cardio messes him up. He still goes toe to toe with Kai "bad fanfic self-insert" Leng before dying.
Nobody cares, lizard cancer is easier say, amounts to the same thing and is funnier
Now now... to be fair to Leng... He was still fighting the best assassin the galaxy ever saw. at 10% of his abilitys. (Thane, not Leng)
"That dude should be _embarrassed_ " says Thane.
“That assassin should be embarrassed. A terminally ill Drell stopped him from reaching his target”- Thane Krios
@@Feasco I care. So, you're wrong.
Can confirm Kai Leng is a cheating edgelord scrub. The second fight with him is a giant "YOU DIDN'T WIN!" where he cheats, runs away then sends you a shitpost email
The shit post mail !!!!
I FORGOT ABOUT THE EMAIL!
Kai "Next time I won't miss" Leng coming at you on his fucking space hotmail talking shit.
That was the only fight that I had shields go down. It was the helicopter. Nothing to do with kai.
I have always and will always maintain that Shepard didn't lose to Kai Leng on Thessia, but to the gunship.
Apart from the fact that on easier difficulty settings its actually possible to softlock your game by killing him too quick.
@SpielkindFR the gunship you've killed ten times before is suddenly invulnerable cause big light.
My favorite part is the back and forth between him and Shepard when you finally fight him.
Shepard: "You ran on Thessia! You ran at the Citadel!"
Kai Leng: "Shut up! (ಥ﹏ಥ)"
"You shoulda seen him, when you couldn't see him" is the best thing I've heard in a bit
I dunno. Am I doing it right now? If so, then that's so cool!
You know what's even funnier? If you beat Kai Leng's ass hard enough in one of the fights, the fight just breaks. You HAVE to let him run back and suck his thumb and recharge his shields.
That is both fights.
"I need to recharge! Cover me!" Seriously, he can spend more time recharging his shields than in actual combat.
My last playthrough in the final Kai Leng fight I was using the Particle Beam and he turned to goo before the cutscene triggered. It was extra cathartic.
If you have Lash you can just ragdoll him
“the fight breaks”
Well of course you can’t just steamroll beloved OC don’t need steal.
I think Saron did something like that to me in ME1 (original) when I had everyone lock his powers and weapon down at once as soon as the fight started. With his health still pretty much maxed, he just floated there, shook his fist, and initiated the following scene.
It says a lot about how much people hated the ending that this guy somehow escaped years of ridicule.
Because that ending is next level, one cringe space ninja man no matter how lame, is nothing compared to a ending that throws everything you worked towards across three games in the bin.
@@li-limandragon9287 Mass Effect 2 is one of my favorite games ever, and I love 99.9% of Mass Effect 3. The ending to ME3 is so bad it permanently soured me on the series.
Honestly I was there in the thick of the mess and I still remember people mocking Kai Leng.
It's just hes so lame as the years went by people forgot he existed. At least the ending was memorably bad.
I'd take 5 more Kai leng boss fights if it meant even a slightly better ending.
@@Nickels-n-Dimes Whoa hold on there chief!
Then again, multiple Langs would be pretty damn cool. Why he never failed, there’s an army of clones to cover for his edgelord shittiness
Kai Leng is like that one dude from Indiana Jones who did all the sword flips and flourishes and then Indy just shoots him once and he dies but is treated as if he's final boss material
To be fair, I feel really bad for that actor, because they had a huge choreography prepared but for different circumstances, he couldn't do it and now is a joke.
@@EduardoFlores-bt4fo All because Harrison Ford had a cold
@@fenris5932 Dysentery, actually. It's the same reason that Indy is lying down to look down at the pit of snakes.
@@fenris5932 Well, he had dysentery
Literal. Cereal. Killer. Pretty much the only thing he ever successfully killed.
he's good at killing defenceless innocents on Thessia and the Citadel.
Ngl, if you told me about a character who presents as this badass but their major accomplishment was stealing someone’s cereal, I’d find that to be the most endearing thing in the world. Shame that’s bot the case here.
@@trevingrayek1671 I have the exact same thought about it. If he weren't such a miserable fucking fanfiction OC it could've just been this cute character along the same lines as Conrad.
@@Archdaemos Leng in the books is like a parody of the edgy OC.
Leng in the game is THE edgy OC
He killed Aria T'Loak's daughter according to the wiki. Think she was a red sand addict so it probably wasn't much of a fight.
So Kai Lang proves the shadow broker right, that if Miranda and Jacob leave Cerberus is crippled. Kai Lang is the best agent the elusive man has, when those two leave and can't beat a guy who needs an oxygen tank to sleep.
Its well established in all three games that reviving Shepard is basically the only successful project Cerberus ever had, literally everything else they ever touch ends in disaster. Its an organization with two hyper-competent individuals, and everyone else (including the Illusive Man) is a bumblefuck.
@@matrix3509 well to be fair cereberus goes up against Shepard(the player) so it makes sense they fail. Even there biggest success when they take omega is ruined when plot Armour Shepard comes in and takes it back for aria a crime boss instead of the general who seems way more honorable than aria(whom petrovsky let's live in the initial capture)who tries to kill him immediately after she retakes the afterlife
@@james192599 didn't petrovsky enslave Omega, destroy their mining equipment and create reaper zombies to convert the people of Omega?
Don't worry, they make up for the lack of ability with lots of grunts that have SUPER AUGMENTS. They are improved with worse aim, dumb armor, and the ability to do stuff off screen.
@@toko099o never underestimate dumb armor
I love Kai Leng, he's so PERFECT in his awfulness. After everything you've faced in this series, you see this guy and your immediate gut reaction is something like "Oh honey, you're not ready for this. Here, sit down, I'll make you some tea." It's like he's just this cosplayer who saw the apocalypse happening and thought "Yes, this is my moment. I finally have an excuse to unleash my TRUE SELF."
Everytime I play ME3 I am vibing until I hit him and roll my eyes and groan through the encounter.
They should have just integrated the Shepherd clone into the main game and had him take Kai Lengs place.
Have him somehow escape at the encounter at Cerberus HQ so that he can show up in the Citadel DLC
He reminds me of the dude in that Operation Ghost game by Sega that's in some arcades who's like "my knives are faster than your guns" 🤣 like nooooo sweetie.....Don't make a fool of yourself.
Like on Thessia? I literally beat him so bad and the only reason he walked away with the VI was cuz of that chopper in the air....And then at the Cerberus Base, I cut through him quick as can be.
In later seasons of _Game of Thrones_ I call Ramsay and Euron Kai Lengs. They are the villain equivalent of Mary Sues.
Konrad Verner would have been more of a threat.
To be fair, the cancer-ridden guy who beat him was basically Space John Wick
yeah but hes got a kid he wants to do right by.
its more grounding.
Ah yes, Spajock, the most powerful terminal patient in the galaxy.
Yeah but cancer ridden space John Wick got a 3 month terminal life sentence *9 months* before the start of the game which means that *he could have died at any point during ME2*.
"Space John Wick" had trouble breathing, dizzy spells, and couldn't do cardio for long without getting seriously fatigued. Yet Kai "Self Insert Space Ninja" Leng still managed to lose to him despite having biotic powers, cyborg parts, some of the best military training available in the Galaxy, and the advantage that Space John Wick had trekked his way across a warzone space station beforehand. No matter how much a a badass Thane was originally, there is no defense of Kai Leng for this, it was just that pathetic.
@@MoostachedSaiyanPrince "Whoever that guy was he should be ashamed that he was defeated by a terminally ill drell." - Thane.
The best (worst?) part about Thane kicking Kai Leng's ass is that KL succeeded in stabbing Thane before running away, BUT! It was a completely clean wound, Thane literally walked it off in S E C O N D S and starts shooting toward running KL. He didn't even die from it, he died from his disease because he lost blood and he needed all the blood he had.
That and he was more so going to die soon given he was in his last month or so by doctors. That he didn't even attempted temporarily joining Shepard because he couldn't do what he did during the suicide mission. If anything it obviously shows if Thane wasn't on Deaths bed already he win pretty easily.
Honestly I always pick the final renegade option during the chair scene so don't know what else happens. But the whole part Shepard saying this is for killing Thane is giving Lang undeserved credit... Mind at the time I liked it due to easily emotional manipulation and etc. Still Lang only victory was due to poor writing/game design and everything else shows him as the scrub he is🤣.
@@VanTesla KL never won. On Thessia he got his ass kicked again, so Cerberus brought in gunship that blows up the temple - while KL was smugly hiding behind cover fire. Also, i love that mission, Javik dabbing on Liara and whole asari culture is delicious.
@@teacakes6861 I should better worded. His "win" in that I mean like you said he needed the gunship. But in my original that I meant to cover in the bad writing and scripted cutscene. Given even with said Gunship he should have lost given Shepard and his companions dealing with worse situations easily.
I mean remember how the fight plays and even when easily win it just ignores that. In essence the scene that played out was so unbelievably stupid. Mind that can be given to all scenes with Kai Lang. Even when we get to kill him it is just meh.
I would say in fact this is the most discussion Kai Lang has likely gotten since original ME3 release. All just to bash on the clown of a character 🤣. As others stated he is also strangely forgettable till brought up😅.
@@teacakes6861 Just to further clarify I mean the gunship shouldn't been a big problem. We talking about Shepard who has dealt with such things on occasion. With usually squads, a mini boss, or two gunships. Sure the floor being hollow and going for the supports... But again bad cutscene given Shepard didn't do anything and let it happen...
So the way Shepard failed is because of a scene we have no control in where Shepard does absolutely nothing... Then the wannabe Ninja gloats about it... I really wish in a petty way we could have conveyed Thane's taunt directly at Kai Lang. Prior to the killing and to mock the guy.
@@VanTesla Amen. Also, my first ME3 run was pure hero, so i know what happens when you don't renegade stab him in third encounter - after gunning him and like a dozen cerberus dudes you sit down and start browsin' the console. KL sneaks up behind and tries to stab, and if you press renegade prompt you stab him instead, which is cool. But you if don't press it, KL misses you! I shit you not, Shepard not even dodging, he misses you point blank with a fucking sword and your team guns him down, this time for good. I think it is even better end, because he died liked he lived - with a wet fart.
Kai Leng's evil harem ninjas are actually way more dangerous than him.
Cerberus Phantoms have a one-hit-kill attack. Kai Leng doesn't.
He's a boss-character who's less dangerous than his own adds.
Phantoms, the bane of even the mightiest of vanguards.
@@SirFeatureCreature
This is why smart people shoot their enemies with guns instead of just bodyslamming them.
You're a lot harder to instantly kill with a one-hit-melee-attack when you're not facefucking every enemy in the game.
It's even better and way stupider than that: Kai Leng does have a one-hit kill, it's the same instant kill animation that the Phantoms have... but you get a button-mash prompt to escape it that, if successful, evades it and damages him. His insta-kill is literally a *SHITTIER* version lol.
@@iamnuff1992 there is no honor in pew pews only in headbutts.
@@perfectharbinger1398 wtf 😭
EVERYTHING'S COMING UP KAI LENG!!! *proceeds to stub toe repeatedly, get ass beaten by a supposedly weakened non-combatant*
Thane was literally on death's door and couldnt even run without exhausting himself and he still beat the shit out of Kai Leng
Ha-ha-HA! Nothing bad ever happens to Kai Leng!
@@jeangreffsbp i cant believe this arrogant shit kid couldnt beat a middle aged lizard man with end stage space emphysema. Talk about pathetic.
He even gets knocked on his ass and disarmed before getting beaten once more by the guy he just stabbed
If you and your cybernetics couldn't beat a terminally ill lizard dad who bitch slapped you, just sit down.
You guys are calling him Shadow the hedgehog, but the Infinite in sonic forces is literally _that guy_ to Shadow. Shadow doesn't even remember him when Infinite rants about not being weak anymore.
Exactly.
@varna Shadow is more adapt though, because like Kai Keng he’s not the main antagonist, he’s “the rival”... who was completely unnecessary. Knuckles already filled the role of foil but noooo *not edgy enough*
Infinite had a wasted design and name, Leng's design is perfect for what a piece of shit character he is
Couldn't agree more, even said it on stream.
What’s hilarious is Infinite by comparison doesn’t get nearly as bitched out as Leng, cause Shadow was already leagues stronger by a country mile, on top of not dying of cancer.
So you should always do the renegade interrupt after his last fight, but the absolute funniest thing about Kai Leng, far better than his adrenaline fueled cereal eating, is that if you DON'T take the renegade interrupt and break his sword... he fucking MISSES
and Shepard shanks him anyhow
So really, by using the Renegade interrupt, we're saving him from one final embarrassment before he dies XD
Oh my God. Oh my fucking God.
I INTENTIONALLY ignored the interrupt to see what happens!
And it changes NOTHING!!
@@missytusara8274 true but you're also asserting your dominance by shattering his katana with a backhand before stabbing him.
Someone on the team must’ve hated him as much as we do
Pat is late to the party on this, but he's so fucking right and it's mega cathartic to listen to.
"He looks like he doesn't belong in Mass Effect."
Nobody has ever said anything more correct.
Kai Leng looks like he belongs in Star Wars or even WH40k bwfore Mass Effect
Kai Leng sends you an email that basically says "next time, I won't miss"
After playing through so many times I just sorta pretend Shepard just deletes the email before even reading it cause they know it's just his lame prank/ edgy comments.
@@BlazinVoid59 Shepherd never even checked, he just assumed it was spam
This character is so forgettable.
I literally forget him every time.
Like i swear people have reminded me more times than i can remember, and yet i never remember this guy
......who?
Me: Kai leng? Why do I remember him? OH YEA hes from mass effect. Wait did I ever kill him? Oh yea I did
Yeah, that's why people can't use him as the "Nothing personal, kid" because it would imply that we care about him.
I completely forgot him to the point that I forgot Thane died shit talking him.
I remember him solely for being one of many reasons I don’t like this game
My favorite part of Kai Leng is that he literally cant do anything without screwing up in some way.
He'll fail to kill the Councilor in 99% of playthroughs
Traynor tracks him to Horizon after he steals the Thessia object
Miranda plants a bug on him that leads you to Cerberus HQ.
He sucks so bad.
Literally the only way he really wins over you, is if you're one of those psychos who gets your party members killed or ignores them
I'm betting thr writer for Kai Leng chose what was "canon" for default (no save import) playthrough since in these, there is nobody to save the councilor.
Wait, he CAN kill the councilor?
@@teecee1827 what is the canon default for ME3?
@@music79075 rachni queen is dead, Wrex is dead, the council died, Udina became chancellor, Legion, Jack, Thane, Kelly, Kaidan, Morinth, Samara and Grunt died (possibly Jacob, can't remember well), the data on the genophage was destroyed and Tali was banished.
I like the idea of the two writers trying to race their drafts to the editor’s desk in the morning which sets Kai’s characterisation for the day.
The Shepard clone fight is way more dramatic than any fight with Kai Leng.
Hardest fight in the game
Fuck the ending discourse, Kai Leng is actually the worst part about ME3.
That fight on Thessia sucked so hard. Like oh here's this gunship you obliterated in ME2 at the beginning of the game, but for some reason you just can't beat it here because I don't know it has flood lights or something.
He goes against the rules of the game. In Mass Effect most enemy follows the rules of combat with health shield and armor regardless of how important they are even a boss fight can get some statuses. There’re a few exceptions but they were huge boss shaped enemies like the human reaper at the end of 2. Kai Leng in 3 where stasis is buffed is completely immune to it. When I first played it I thought he had a special shield that only he had, nope the Shadow Broker was the one with the special shield.
Idk why people complain about that fight so much, he dies in like 5 sniper shots.
I literally beaten him lest than 2min
@@J_Themborn You can cheat right back at him.
Complete the Omega DLC and equip Aria's Lash bonus power. Fully upgraded, it ignores protection. Meaning you can non-stop ragdoll that asshole in both fights against him...and boy does it feel _good_ to bully him :P.
@@GaldirEonai that sounds wonderful
"No, now it's fun." Woolie died from cringe immediately after hearing such concentrated cringe.
The worst part about Kai Leng is that not only does he suck, he's so utterly forgettable. I will never remember Kai Leng on my own. I have to be reminded of that character's existence, and I've played ME3 twice.
I have played ME3 over two dozen times and I still forget about him until he shows up.
I had no idea who the title was referring to until Pat says Mass Effect 3. Before this moment the best I could manage was "wait wasnt there a stupid cyborg ninja in ME3?"
@@TurboNemesis nah fr😭😭
@@RedCaesar97 I forgot playing the trilogy 30 times isn’t normal
I only remember Kai Leng purely so I can use him as an example of a terrible character
If you don’t take the renegade interrupt to kill Kai Leng (even though he dies either way, but I’ll be damned if I don’t give him the additional “fuck you” of shattering his precious katana) you’re objectively playing the game wrong.
I played as a straight Paragon throughout an entire playthrough. Still had to take that one Renegade action.
Its funny how not taking the option isn't even all that different. You let him hit the keyboard and then kill him. Its pathetic either way like whoever animated both sequences wanted his death to be as mediocre and a splash of cool piss in the face to the guy who wrote him.
Tldr. The renegade option is literally breaking his favorite toy before you kill him by comparison.
I didn't know you could choose to not take that option. I just assumed it would be the worlds lamest gameover.
“That’s for Thane you sunnuvabitch!”
I love the bit where he jumps on Shepard's car during the Citadel air chase, and he takes forever to dramatically look up because he's that desperate to look cool.
12 seconds. It takes 12 seconds for Shepard to react in that scene
As someone who's never touched Mass Effect, I had never heard of Kai Leng, hearing Pat describe him makes me think he comes from some alternate universe Hunt Down the Freeman but for Mass Effect.
YOU FUCKED UP MY CEREAL
The best part about Kai Leng is that gameplay-wise he’s just a reskinned Phantom except he’s actually weaker because he doesn’t have the instakill.
Second-best part: The fight with Thane obviously only happens if he survived ME2. But if he didn’t, Kirrahe from ME1 will intervene instead. If Kirrahe also died, Kai Leng will actually succeed and kill the Councillor. In other words, you need to have fucked up twice for him to get a win on you.
Kirahe the old ass silarian also puts up a pretty good fight against leng as well and he's not even close to Thanes level Kai really does just suck ass
@@infamous6283 He held the line
@@Feasco damn straight
No but like, the sad thing is that he DOES have an instakill but you CAN JUST QTE OUT OF IT, LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN IMITATE HIS JOBBER ADDS PROPERLY
I know this comment is old, but I would like to add that the skin they slapped on him is a custom head, on a N7 Slayer's body. Which is funny because the Slayer is a vanguard with some insane biotic abilities(in universe). This not only makes him weaker than where his move set comes from, but weaker than where his skin comes from.
Holy fuck. I knew ME3 had a short development but fucking 14 MONTHS!? It is astounding and a credit to how good Bioware once was that even half that game was as good as it was. Christ.
Meanwhile Andromeda had *6* years
Yeah, it was actually going to come out in 2011 too surprisingly. Essentially EA fucked them over and said “you gotta make a game even better than ME2 in half the time.”
@@charlestonobryant807 they where actually offered more time by EA...they turned it down! (according to pat, could be crazy talk)...wtf?
@@Takashita_Sukakoki no shot I’ve watched quite a few videos on the dev cycle, and no competent dev team would turn down more time on a 14 month cycle, it’s illogical.
@@217adaptiveperspective 6 yeara of getting constantly fucked over by ea and the main bioware team
Having any and all ideas they had thrown out the window because it was outsode the scope of the support EA was giving them
Or having main bioware team devs butt in and demanding they change shit.
And bad management.
And having the team be spread over multiple regions while also having shit communication.
That "Ooooh no, they made fan fiction" just slays me.
"We want this character to have a spinoff."
They gotta earn it first.
Kai "Pussy" Leng
Remains one of my favourite insults toward a fictional character ever XD
Pisstream Sam is also amazing XD
"People were getting, you know, hate-excited?"
The word Pat is looking for is "excitred."
Thank you Editor Woolie for reducing the lead-in time to the video. I know you may not know if we noticed, but we did, and we appreciate it greatly.
Sincerely,
The people who listen to these in the background.
Literally the only thing memorable of Kai in my only playthrough was, no shit, one-shotting him at the Cerberus base in such spectacular fashion. I was an Infiltrator and immediately cloaked to try to get some distance or cover, but he bum-rushed me like it didn't even matter. So while he was closing the distance, I was charging a shot from my Geth Javelin sniper rifle, and nailed a point blank headshot on him just as he got to me. This so called master assassin couldn't last even 10 seconds against a sniper at their most troublesome range. Pathetic.
I would pay to see that absolute humiliation 😆
That is hilarious.
I have a strong memory of Leng charging at me slowly with his head in the middle of the scope...Several times...The Geth had better survival instinct.
On one hand I love how much they drag Kai Leng. On the other this video keeps re-emerging in my recommendations and reminding me of Kai Leng against my consent.
I remember playing this back when it came out and thinking- "They're doing this on purpose, right? They want me to think this dude is a huge jobber? There's no way they think he's cool."
And Pat, don't you dare talk shit about the greatest assassin in the galaxy, Thane. Thane is JUST THAT GOOD and he got all the heat they wanted Kai Leng to have. And then the best scene in the game happens after he beats him.
Literally all I know about this character is that he (SPOILERS)
Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're busy tending to what's left of their planet.
So you survived our fight on Thessia. You're not as weak as I thought. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. Now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. The legend of Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
-KL
Goddamnit I fall for it every time.
Frick you and good job sir
This didn't even ask for me to click read more my phone just decided I lose
OH FOR FUCK SAKE.
Fuck, I was taking a drink.
I love how after he's introduced the game has a scene where they literally say "That guy should be ashamed." because someone basically almost dead from lung cancer kicks his ass.
Technically if you start with ME3 by itself then he kills the Councilor and makes a clean getaway. And remember what the marketing said, "If you have never played a Mass Effect game before, ME3 is the best place to start."
@@andrewaddison777 did the marketing really say that? I was hooked on ME2 so I didn't look at any trailers or anything for ME3
@@andrewaddison777 Well that's honestly dumb if anyone did say that, because a fresh save file on ME3 is set up to be prime material for an absolutely tragic experience, with multiple important characters from previous entries already dead from the start
No,its space Turbeculosis
@@jeangreffsbp There's no pathogen involved. Space lung cancer is better
ME3 came out the same year as MGR if I'm not mistaken. You could've fought Kai Leng and Jetstream Sam back to back shortly after each released. Just imagine that.
So you had Jetstream Sam in one game, and diet watered down Setstream Jam in another
Yes they’re so comparable, one a epic boss who’s challenging and awesome and the other you can Gears of War chest high wall shoot to beat.
@@troggdorthesecond Shitstream Leng
I dont like the thane disrespect going on here. Its not that hes so bad a lizard cancer dude can sneak up on him. Its thane is so good he can sneak up on him even with advanced stage lizard cancer
The best part of Thane beating up Leng is how it unintentionally makes Thane even cooler.
Even on the brink of death, Thane snuck up and beat down this dweeb. If Thane was healthy he would've 100% killed Leng there lol.
@@JillLulamoon thane was always super cool. In 2 He says a prayer then disappears on his loyalty mission and that was the coolest shit ever
Me neither. Thane is my terminally ill snake-frog husbando for life. He is the sole reason “why snek?”. Thane. Thane is the reason why snek, Pat.
I always thought he was more of a fishmen than lazard.
@@altoid3453 Yeah never meant to imply he wasnt cool. Thane knows how and probably has killed Turians and Krogan with his bare hands lol.
It's just hilarious in a scene meant to show how cool and dangerous Leng is, instead it just shows further why Thane is a badass.
So, here's the fun bit about Kai Leng.
PRIOR to the release of Mass Effect 3, there were a series of Mass Effect books which star Mr. Leng as their POV character.
These books aren't TERRIBLE. But they DO read like those Star Trek books that William Shatner commissioned back in the day about Captain Kirk -- the ones that served to mostly jerk off Captain Kirk and by proxy, William Shatner.
Then, during prerelease coverage of ME3, you can interviews where Bioware folks are GIDDILY talking about how Cerberus is 'back' and in a 'big' way and how they have a FOIL to Commander Shepard that makes them ULTRA dangerous oooooo~
The people conducting those interviews, despite the tight lips of Bioware, IMMEDIATELY called out that the only person this 'mystery anti-shepard' could be was Kai Leng. Because Kai Leng is the *ONLY* character who is *EVER* compared to Commander Shepard. Ever.
No character compares Wrex to Shepard. Or Ashely. Or Vega, or Garrus *fucking* Vakarian! Because *EVERYONE* else gets to be their *OWN* badass in the ME universe, they do their own badass things independent of Shepard and are recognized as individuals, who just so happen to hang out with Shepard. This is good, since it not only makes Shepard look cool, by letting Shepard be Shepard, but it makes eeeeeeeeveryone else look cool too, by letting them *NOT* be 'Commander Shepard but...'
Not Kai Leng though. Kai Leng, of all characters, is constantly reffered to as the 'anti-shepard'. Which is somewhat funny, when you realize cerberus has an ACTUAL CLONE OF SHEPARD that would have been an unironically BETTER choice for the main campaign as a counter to commander shepard -- you COULD have saved Kai Leng for the Citadel DLC and had a BLAST with him being this galaxy trotting psychic cyborg ninja samurai assassin... and having NOBODY hear about him. The jokes write themselves.
But no. Instead we unironically get a guy who's biggest claim to fame is that he's called the 'anti-shepard' without anybody realizing that THAT termonology, "anti-shepard" means that he is everything Shepard is not. Such as: Charismatic, driven, capable, successful, well-liked, respected, skilled, good humored, caring, relentless, AND MANY MORE THINGS!
practically
The funny part is that in the multiplayer, you can play a Vanguard class called the *N7 Slayer,* who basically have Kai Leng's moves but not his name or personality, or L's
Already cooler.
Does the multiplayer still work? I need to try this.
@@TheMarg0r In the original version yes, no multiplayer in the legendary.
@@BIaziken2 Another reason to NOT buy the legendary
So is Woolie making these thumbnails or hired someone to do them? Cos either way they look quite nice. Also that ceral nonsense is great, god I love bad game novels
he hired someone. said he was looking for someone to help him with thumbnails during a recent stream.
Eh. Personally I'm not a fan of the conventional Reaction Image-ass thumbnail, but I do also know that apparently they play nicer with the almighty algorithm, so I can tolerate it.
@@GIZMONDO987 Yeah it's basically required to do thumbnails like that if you want to increase engagement. Small price to pay.
@@GIZMONDO987 I'll side with the zoomers a bit here and say that I actually think they're quite visually appealing.
They all have that "buuuuuuuuh!!?" energy.
Kai Leng looks straight out of Deus Ex: Human Revolution. It's such hideously out-of-place character design.
Hey now, don't do my man Deus Ex dirty like that. Kai Leng looks straight out of Syndicate.
@@The5lacker I'm going to be honest; I hate the aesthetic of Human Revolution. Everything is too angular, everything is covered in piss-yellow and all the characters are wearing renaissance fair outfits.
The sunglasses built into his face are the worst.
There's something to be said for an in-universe tryhard character. Revolver Ocelot and Teruki Hanazawa are great not because they're cool, but because they absolutely think they're cool.
A properly written Kai Leng would be largely the same but with the rest of the cast being appropriately baffled by his goofiness.
That was some fancy writing.
*You're pretty good.*
Kai Leng is a rwby character stuck in mass effect operating on the same "nu uh!" Writing that show has.
I found out about a mod that straight up just takes out all of kai legs dialogue and changes his appearance to be a male version of the phantom enemies that he's the boss of, makes him match cerberous visual design. Legit improves his character so much.
When the way to improve a character is to literally take out all of his dialogue you know you fucked up.
Every time Kai Leng isn't on screen, Shepard and everyone in the party should be asking, "Hey, where's Kai Leng?"
Yet no-one ever asks: *"How's* Kai Leng?"
I keep seeing this quote, where does it originate from?
@@IndoorSitup it's a Simpsons reference. Look for the episode with Poochie the Dog
@@PanWilder Ah, got it. Thought maybe it was a reference to Lightning from Final Fantasy or something like that.
@@PanWilder It's NOT Phineas and Ferb?
I know this is a hot take but Kai Leng is way overheated he's an extremely cool character. Heck he's even better then Virgil who's actually kinda lame when you think about. I know that's gonna get a lot of hate but let me just explain why:
Good. You expanded this comment. This isn't actually an explanation on why Kai Leng is cool because he's actually a total bitch.
You legit had me in a mixup for a second.
You has us for a second there.
This is the best comment, can't like this enough.
Thing is though the best thing about Vergil is that he’s actually a bit lame, he’s this dude who constantly carries a katana, refuses to have fun and is unable to live up a impossible legacy and gets petulant when things don’t go according to plan. And that nasally voice.
Vergil is great because he can be awesome and threatening while still being kinda of a loser. Kylo Ren could’ve been a similar character if the sequel trilogy hadn’t shit the bed. This Kai Leng guy is all the edge and wannabe coolness with nothing to back it up.
I thought this was gonna be the post-Thessia email copypasta for a moment
Kai Leng! He can really move!
Kai Leng! He's got an attitude!
Kai Leng! He's the fastest thing aliiii- *gets waffle-stomped*
Next to the ghost kid, Kai Leng is the walking embodiment of everything wrong with Mass Effect 3.
That one terrible Mass Effect book is like that one guy who made The Entity in SWOTOR and was like “That’s Kreia!”.
They knew nothing.
Betrayal
THE ARROGANCE
@@EviIPaladin *Zaps the fuck out of the Author of that fucking book*
(I wish)
@@EviIPaladin *BETRAYED ME*
One of my favorite things about the terrible Kai Leng cereal novel is that they never even made the promised revised version. They just hid in the corner until people stopped asking them about it.
how could a character be such a mary sue but job so much at the same time??
he's the cody rhodes of mass effect
Korra says hello.
I had completely forgotten about this character but, Pat's description brought it back. I remember having the same reaction. Everyone is talking about how amazing and dangerous Kai Leng was but, everything I saw made him look like a parody. I was expecting the whole scenario to be some kind of rich kid paying to pretend to be awesome.
Kai Leng may suck, but at least the cyborge ninja infiltrator in multiplayer was dope as fuck
Remember that signature move it has, the nothing "personnal kid" move
N7 Slayer or bust
too bad that was locked behind the gacha
Vanguard is the best class. End of story. And in the Multiplayer it consumed everyone's lunch
@@darkpuppetlordful I mean it's actually the getj infiltrator if we're being honest. The geth Juggernaut is a close.second in my heart just because brick tank house
my favorite part about him is he actually sends you trolling hate mail. He's literally what happens if a fedora gain sentience and writes an OC
This is why Sam is the best in Revengence. Cause in midst of all the superpowered cyborg bullshit, he's just a guy with a cool suit and a REALLY cool sword
Also his theme is amazing
The reveal that he barely had any augmentations _after_ you kill him was a nice touch.
@@SuzakuX That makes him even COOLER
@@SuzakuX He wins even in death
@@leowei771 The fact his sword is the only thing that can hurt Armstong is another great touch
Heihatchi despite being a douchebag is awesome because he’s fighting his laser spamming son and grandson and doing well because he’s just that strong.
Sam is the same, he can cut a Ray apart because he’s just badass.
I will always remember the fight my engineer Shepard had against Leng in the Asari temple. Sabotage w/+100% tech damage, and maxed out Overload. Bitch didn't take five steps without "falling back to heal."
7:35 - Yeah. Coming from someone who played 1 and 2 with three different Shepherds before finally getting to 3 with almost all of its vital DLC and finishing it, unspoiled, eight years after the original release came out, and you can feel it on the wall. Granted, it kinda depends on your situation. But I'm sitting on the opposite end of solving the Geth and Quarian conflict only to get to the Mass Effect 3 ending and the game is telling me I can't solve that type of problem so we're all doomed. But I literally already solved that problem. I didn't hate Mass Effect 3 or its ending, but I certainly didn't LOVE its "best" ending and its things like what Pat's describing that did it for me, in addition to the fact that you just don't see the other side of the ending really. Not in the way a massive trilogy like Mass Effect would warrant. You'd WANT the 40 minutes falling action akin to Return of the King, but you don't get that. That's the true sour note in 3's ending for me.
Interesting theory by Pat. I remember getting the vibe that this guy supposed to be something to worry about and then literally laughing every time he's on screen 🤣
I will NEVER get over how the big fight with him on Thessia concludes with him summoning a gunship to give him covering fire while he runs away, then he sends you a fucking email talking about how he won that fight and is so much better than you, and I was just reading it like "fucking WHAT?", I wasn't even angry, I was confused as hell at why he was bragging about winning a fight he lost, and I know he lost because I WAS THERE
Further proof that he is a weaboo, he was likely expecting a reply saying
"That line is for when you win Kai"
I legit forgot that Kai Leng exists, seriously, I don't remember him even right now that Pat is talking about him, I can't remember encountering him in ME3.
Hell, I remember the awful Jessica Chobot cameo, but not Kai Leng
Oh god, why did you remind me that happened too? DX>
At least the awful Jessica Chobot cameo was something we could choose to ignore. Remember, you have the option of either bringing her on the Normandy or not. There is no choice with Kai Leng, we have to suffer regardless.
An insufferable weeb OC in *my* military space opera?
It's more likely than you think!
14:14 Woolie is in physical pain here
So cathartic to listen to someone complain about kai leng to someone who doesn't know him
Literally the lamest character Troy Baker has ever voiced. This is basically his Green Lantern.
Apparently even Troy Baker himself is like fuck that guy he sucks.
Hal Jordan is a badass compared to this guy and I can’t stand Hal Jordan when he isn’t voiced by Nathan Fillion.
@@li-limandragon9287 I think they mean the movie green lantern
@@gyui1091 I meant in general.
As someone who knew nothing and had never played Mass Effect until getting the Legendary Edition, Kai Lang was a real interesting surprise. He was such and unlikeable, cringey, tryhard, self-insert OC, wannabe billy badass that he single-handedly brought down the game. He (and really the rest of Cerberus) really just serves no purpose in the story besides dragging it down- they add nothing, they don't do anything that random Indoctrinated or the Reapers couldn't, and yet the game does basically everything to insist that they are a massive threat. They even give Kai a "nuh-uh you can't hurt me" anti-everything shield so that you can't beat him until they finally let you. He was so bad, I didn't even think about all the other shortcomings ME3 had.
Finally stabbing him on Cronos Station is such sweet relief, I can't even tell you. It felt like I was finally free. Shame that only happens at the end of the game.
EXCELLENT thumbnail, God damn.
Kai Leng reminds me of that one guy in From Russia With Love who was supposed to be a super awesome Anti-Bond and he got his shit rocked on that train.
Hey Red Grant was awesome he only lost due to Bond gadgeting his ass don’t compare him to this shitty ninja dweeb.
Having just played LE, I feel he doesn’t need to be there. A more interesting idea would’ve be that out of Jack,Miranda and Jacob, you can only save 2, the one left behind gets warped into serving Cerberus. More emotional punch that way.
True but let’s face facts… Jacob is getting left behind in 99% of runs.
@@InquisitorThomas well his is the boring strait guy in a BioWare RPG, it’s tradition.
I don't care how paragon your Shepard is, in ME3, when you see THAT renegade interrupt, you smash that button with the righteous fury of all the gods!
The worst part of the Revengance Nightwing rivalry is that he doesn't even APPEAR until halfway through the game, and even then you only meet him like 3 times.
That no where near enough time to establish someone who is treated as the Dragon of Cerberus.
Edit: I can't speak for the novels, but I will say what little I've seen of the books they actually handle Kai better for one reason, he keeps loosing, but then he upgrades.
Shot in the legs, amputee them and get cybernetics. Overpowered by biotics, get better ones. Hand gets broken, get a cyber one with a freaking Shotgun.
It really adds to his "I WILL BE BETTER" personality. They should had that be the plot in ME3 where everytime you beat him he gets more and more Reaper Tech, instead of this Gary Stue BS.
Having seen what they did to revan and the exile in the kotor novel. I would believe bioware themselves could write cringey characters like Kai leng
The coolest thing about Kai Leng is how you kill him.
He's sneaking up on Shepard, about to stab him, when you spin around, shatter his sword, and shank him with the omni-blade.
I literally forgot that character existed until I saw this pop up in my feed. Like goddamn Kai was such a lame wet fart in the legacy of Mass Effect characters
Does anyone remember the New 52 version of Lobo?
He reminds me of Kai Leng, as In he became the very thing he was supposed to be a parody of
When I saw New 52 Lobo:
*YOUR WERE THE PARODY LOBO!*
*YOU SUPPOSED TO MOCK THE ANTI-HEROES NOT JOIN THEM!*
I'm so glad they dropped that lameass version pretty quick. I remember the story was that he was the real Lobo and the one we'd known and loved for years was a fake or some shit. That just made the new one ten times lamer.
Man, New 52 had some dumb character changes.
Also kinda looks like New 52 Lobo as well.
boy, I'm glad I read fanfiction, the quality is leagues above what professional authors could ever dream of!
Amen to that, the law of fanfiction is quite simple. Most of it is mediocre, some of it is legitimately great and some if it is UTTER DOGSHIT
But reading it let's you be able to spot those dogshit tropes in canon works from a MILE off
I read RE2make fanfic comic the other day, it’s about the characters on the road after Raccoon City, it’s fucking great.
Remember, Disney made a trilogy of Star Wars movies no plan whatsoever and tried to make Creulla DeVille sympathetic by having dogs push her mom over a cliff. “Professional” quality is a goddamn myth.
The only memorable thing about Lieutenant bitch Kai Leng is that he can make even Pure Paragon Shepard's go renegade just once.
What about udina and gatatog uvenk?
Kai Leng looks like a rejected Metal Gear cyborg
"Piss-Stream Sam" is my favorite.
Leng is forever that now in my mind.
I'm reminded of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Dude jumps out of the crowd and swings and twirls and edgelords a pair of scimitars and Indy just pulls out his gun and shoots him.
Does that mean Shepard also had diarrhoea?
@@TheSumisus Yes and all he wants to do to fly his plane/ship, which crashes.
That scene was originally intended to be an epic fight, but Spielberg had to cut out scenes and replaced it with Indy simply shooting the challenger. Wich, unintentionally became an even more memorable scene in the movie.
@@Svoorhout85 Because of the aforementioned diarrhoea?
@@TheSumisus Not diarrhea, I believe, but actually dysentery.
"nothing personal kid" - Kai Leng as the super heated omni blade enters his abdomen.
Going with the Metal Gear parallels...I think the fight against Gray Fox is a good example. Because the way you beat him is by using Chaff grenades to interfere with his cybernetics and that fight becomes a straight fist fight halfway through, and it ends in a draw.
I honestly don't remember using chaff grenades to fight him, but I think the comparison works because Grey Fox isn't supposed to be the coolest and strongest. He's pretty much a broken man on the verge of death at that point.
@@Kango234 Yeah and even then at LEAST Gray Fox got a lead up of fucking cool. Also if you tried to fight him with guns, he'd proceed to cut you down.
I remember genuinely laughing my ass off when the mission came up that Cerberus had invaded the Citadel. It was just one of those moments that I realized the writers had not paid attention to the lore of the previous games and wanted to make Space COD. That was only further solidified with Kai Leng, he existed to be the supra kewl badass but only succeeded in pissing off the fanbase with how lame he was.
It never made any sense, given what they'd established as early as a few hours into the first game about The Citadel.
They screwed cerberus up in me3.
Me1 they were some random organization found in some optional side quest
Me2 nah we're good guys. The alliance and council are to lazy to kill the fake dead protheans so you kill them for us
Me3 holy shit now we're space isis
Just ran into Kai Leng a few days ago and I can already tell he's a fucking goober
I am so glad more people are noticing how wierd Kai Leng is. Pat's simple description of it all makes it funny.
The way you kill him is really good tho. It’s a very “you and your stupid space ninja bullshit is stupid” way to kill him
Kai Leng is the perfect example of why book shit should never take precedent over what's been established in the games.
I really hope we get another Kai Leng segment after Woolie gets there.
I've never heard of Kai Leng since I never played ME3, so I looked him up and found the picture Pat was talking about right above an article titled: "Kai Leng Would Have Sucked Less If He Shut The Fuck Up." Incredible.
Who else can't wait for Woolie and Reggie to reach Kai Leng?
Glad I ain't the only one XD
They could have fixed his entire character with one line of dialogue: " He's using some sort of experimental Cerberus / Reaper tech, my bullets aren't hitting him!"
Is he a bad fighter? Yeah, but he's being carried by new tech.
Thane had to run up and punch him only to get stabbed? Yes, because shooting him has been explained to not work.
He's able to beat you on Thessia? Because you haven't learned how to beat his tech yet.
Just give a reason for the Plot Armor, and people will stop calling it Plot Armor.
"You didn't win." - KL
"I didn't lose though it was a draw GG Re?
"3 vs 1, these are bad odds"
"No, now it's fun"
You know, every sci fi space opera game, but especially shooters, has been dogged for twenty years by the question "How does it measure up to Halo?", and if I were the guy at Bioware writing the dialogue I would REALLY focus on avoiding anything that calls that question back into the player's mind, especially from a tryhard character like Kai Leng, quoting the Shipmaster does not make him seem any cooler
Preggo Leng The Immortal Hedgehog
The cereal thing isn’t cool, but man is it fucking hilarious.