Cartman only wins with prep time. We’re shown time and time again that if you just walk up to him and hit him he has little to no way to defend himself. Literally bodied by Wendy. He has to sneak up and blindside you Update: I have now beaten the fractured but whole, and have realized that my Batman claim is inaccurate.. he is the Batman who laughs. Taking over the world with a 10 year old joke.
You'll also probably have to kill him the during the fight. If you give him time to recoup he will almost certainly find a way to ruin your life in an incredibly cruel manner.
He trained Craig to fight tweek and won a fight between a midget and the main reason he lost to Wendy because there was a cage behind them, if there was no cage there he would have a chance at winning.
@@dogwashthefirst597 No, because Homophobic now just means you don't like Gay people, not necessarily because you're scared of them. If Homophobia meant what it should, there would be very few cases of it, at least anywhere but Texas and Arkansas.
As a 11 year old I went to the elementary school attached to the local juvenile detention center for about half a year. I once an 8 year old boy who was in the juvy who had gotten angry and he decided to try to escape, they needed 4 adults to keep him pinned down. If kids are angry enough they are a serious threat.
@@MouldMadeMindyea I was gonna say, those must have been some weak ass adults, but then I remembered they'd get in huge trouble if they broke an arm or something
Very true. I was one of the kids who got beat by my dad and gave me severe anger issues in elementary school and at the worst I picked up an entire desk with my teacher sitting on it to try to stop me. I literally can't even lift half as much weight now and it's been 10 years I seriously don't understand either but at least I got therapy and help and stopped doing that
Naw adults restrain themselves as to not hurt the child. Kids are slippery and full of energy but one able bodied adult puts a kid in a full Nelson that kids stuck
@@aquamarinerose5405 maybe, but he has some of the best hands in the series and he will always come back no matter what, at one point your not gonna have the will to kill the same 9 yr old child again
Thing to note if we count The Fractured But Whole,Craig is the only character besides Kenny whose powers aren't all make believe (in the context of stuff like Human Kite and Fastpass). His bare punches can take out mobsters. I think he can possibly beat you with THAT much physical power.
@@ebsishdvdhsbd idk frankly, I'm just going off of what little connection between TFBW and the show (which is a few episodes confirming only one character having powers (Kenny)), so it's all just guesswork
@@diverwerk fair, but if I remember correctly Timmy is mentioned in the video. I mostly mentioned Craig because he's essentially just REALLY strong with no explanation (I think). So that may mean he's just normally that strong, or it may be adrenaline based.
With the goth kids you also have to take into account that most of the time they're together as a group, and that's why I think it would be very dangerous to try and fight any of them for the most part.
Butters has been shown to throw hands before, and there always a chance you end up dealing with Professor Chaos. The only way you beat Butters in a fight is to find a way to get him grounded before he grounds you to a pulp 😂
Yeah, it's an EZ W unless its The Fractured But Whole Chaos because of Chaos Beam, Chaos Confus-O-Tron, and all of his chaos minions, then again, that applies for all TFBW characters.
With pip I think it could be 50/50 because if you call him French ie or upset him (remember the dogde ball episode guys) he definitely has it in him, if u give him a ball.
Canadians themselves seem to be a wildcard. They're all chill and going about their business but if war or ice hockey happens, it seems to set off some suppressed primal Canadian rage leading to carnage
Pip is now to the blooms cinematic universe what vriska is to homestuck, a character so controversial they need to be locked into a isolation chamber to not cause further chaos
This is hilarious! Tbh I think you overestimate crab people, even in a group they are small and sure they have armor with their shells but it seems pretty easy to take out their eyes
@@bartvansliedregt5482 see that's something I'm not sure about, I'd assume they are powerful but I don't remember seeing them use their claws , but they still have pretty short reach, so maybe a 50/50 chance lol
Then again, they could also be extremely strong crabs. Have you ever seen big crabs do things with their pincers? They can cut your fingers clean off. And given this is a fight, I wouldn't be surprised if the crab people could do that. Also, *crabs can regrow lost limbs.* So even if you get rid of one of their legs, they can come back again. Edit: Bold of you to assume I'm thanking you for likes.
this was the best thing ive watched in a while. when you finally got to tweek i went bonkers. hes my favorite + yr right he'd probably go into a meth fueled rage and obliterate you.. and everyone else in his way
did i just watch a whole 37:35 video of a dude ranking south park character he could beat upvery seriously at like 2AM? yes, yes i did, i'm suprised you didn't put pip in his own tier like "beat him on SIGHT" or something lmao
Clearly before watching this randy would beat us all up due to "not hearing no bell" and his combo moves. Young cartman easy but older Jewish Cartman is a beast.
Would you ever do a playthrough of either of the SP games for the channel? ( I'm asking for FBH or SoT, I know about the other games but I think those would be the best to watch)
Always beware the nice ones. Such as Canadians. Like Ike. Let alone Mr Mackey caving your head in with one (1) headbutt. Also I like that Saddam is the only one who doesn't have a transparent backdrop.
I know you said “I’d beat Toweely is he was high” but what if he wasn’t high? In TFBH we see that Sober Toweely is very on edge and quite scrappy using aerosol and lighters to set his opponents on fire.
26:19 i think that pip should get into the category: Probably winning because he is very good at basketball and he hits kyle hard in one episode. Still he is a Kid
You probs should’ve took into consideration with Clyde at he literally created an army of nazi zombies in the stick of truth thanks to using the alien Taco Bell green sauce
No fucking chance with Mr Slave; he went through a high-story plate glass window and still kept his personality about him, and then was immediately fine.
PC principal is one dude I wouldn't mess with I mean, there's a scene when he's walking in the hallway and he was so tough they gave him ichigos hollow music from bleach when he was walking 😂
If I was fighting Cartman, it would be a fight where I’m aiming to kill him. I wouldn’t be able to let him get up again ever, because he’ll come back for me.
Craig and Tweek should be closer in the ranking, not saying that bc it’s a ship but the way they beat each other up and both ended up in the hospital and beat each other up AGAIN for something as small as insulting each other shows a lot. Plus they were in the hospital recovering and they didn’t even hesitate, from that alone it shows that they can resist the pain and keep going no matter what-
Let’s all remember Kenny is an actual superhero and he has been ready to fight Cthulhu so I feel like Kenny is very obviously the most powerful character in South Park excluding characters like Jesus or god because that’s not fair
See, what we don't know is where he lives. Assuming since he said "Certain weather events" I'm just gonna guess Florida. Us flordians can kill anything and are unbeatable.
If we are taking the games as canon, Henrietta would destroy you. Physically, yes she looks like she's gonna lose in a fist fight, but taking into account that some of the powers are like "real" (with real i mean Kenny), Henrietta has the power of satanism in her side
I’m 6’3 200 lbs btw. Just in case you didn’t know.
I was curious, thank you.
I'd fold you like paper.
And absolutely ripped & sweet
GayAnalDildo
That's cool and all, but how tall and heavy are you?
Keep in mind tho; when fighting Karen you’d have to also beat Mysterion cause he’s her guardian angel
oh fuvk
Ain't no way he can beat mysterion since he's pretty much immortal
@@fletchqc9900 he's also a 4th grader that's very easy to kill. I mean he's relentless I'll give him that.
@@fletchqc9900 while he is immortal, he needs to wait until tomorrow to resurrect, so blooms would still win.
@@fletchqc9900 while he is immortal, he needs to wait until tomorrow to resurrect, so blooms would still win.
Cartman only wins with prep time. We’re shown time and time again that if you just walk up to him and hit him he has little to no way to defend himself. Literally bodied by Wendy. He has to sneak up and blindside you
Update: I have now beaten the fractured but whole, and have realized that my Batman claim is inaccurate.. he is the Batman who laughs. Taking over the world with a 10 year old joke.
eric cartman would get beaten and end up killing everyone you love behind your back then feeding you them
You gotta put eric in the ground or whoop him so bad he doesnt seek revenge because well its cartman
Cartman is the Batman of the Southpark Universe.
You'll also probably have to kill him the during the fight.
If you give him time to recoup he will almost certainly find a way to ruin your life in an incredibly cruel manner.
@@guythatdosethingssometimes2651 such as turning your parents into chili and feeding them to you
You could 100% beat Cartman in a fight, but you'd only win the battle and not the war after he makes you cook your dog alive
He killed someone's parents and put their flesh in a chilli soup
@@bobuxman1434 again, you'd win the battle but lose the war
@@keksidy yea
Cartman is easy to fight just throw kfc on the ground and shoot him as he goes for it.
He trained Craig to fight tweek and won a fight between a midget and the main reason he lost to Wendy because there was a cage behind them, if there was no cage there he would have a chance at winning.
Cartman with prep time will destroy anyone.
Without prep time, he gets stomped.
Imagine if cartoon tried to ruin someone like the jokers life, which probably won't happen since you cant break whats already broken
Cartmen and Kevin mcalaster are both equally prep time based
Then after the fight cartman takes revenge in a fucking disturbing way
@@otro_random_del_monton9875 "NANANANANA NA! I MADE YOU EAT YOUR PARENTS! NANANANANANA-"
I just wonder why he never murdered Wendy after she beat his ass
"Big Gay Al is scary"
this guy puts the phobia in homophobia
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
i mean homophobia should mean fear of gay people. should because phobia=fear.
@@snakyYT that was the joke
So… the actual meaning of homophobia
@@dogwashthefirst597 No, because Homophobic now just means you don't like Gay people, not necessarily because you're scared of them. If Homophobia meant what it should, there would be very few cases of it, at least anywhere but Texas and Arkansas.
After watching South Park so much, it's no wonder Blooms started wondering who he can beat the crap out of.
Considering Pip, he is skilled at archery, and can go into crazy mode when you call him French. Likely a 50/50
And if he was to be resurrected, he would likely be more careful and likely do the Roshambo
Fr
That time he got mad at kyle but that was only a nose bleed tbh
He didn’t even give poor Pip a chance 😭
The dodgeball part too
As a 11 year old I went to the elementary school attached to the local juvenile detention center for about half a year. I once an 8 year old boy who was in the juvy who had gotten angry and he decided to try to escape, they needed 4 adults to keep him pinned down. If kids are angry enough they are a serious threat.
Only if you're not allowed to hurt them.
@@MouldMadeMindyea I was gonna say, those must have been some weak ass adults, but then I remembered they'd get in huge trouble if they broke an arm or something
Very true. I was one of the kids who got beat by my dad and gave me severe anger issues in elementary school and at the worst I picked up an entire desk with my teacher sitting on it to try to stop me. I literally can't even lift half as much weight now and it's been 10 years I seriously don't understand either but at least I got therapy and help and stopped doing that
Why are they putting 8 year olds in juvie lol
Naw adults restrain themselves as to not hurt the child. Kids are slippery and full of energy but one able bodied adult puts a kid in a full Nelson that kids stuck
13:09 I love how no hesitation on Kenny’s, just “I’m getting destroyed by him,”
there’s no possible way of beating kenny... as soon as you think it’s over, the fight starts back up again
@@pixigirldust kenny is the epitome of, "i didn't hear no bell"
@@communistskeletonpiss he's the epitome of "I can do this all day"
I feel like you don't lose to kenny, The universe just causes him to die halfway through from some unrelated accident.
@@aquamarinerose5405 maybe, but he has some of the best hands in the series and he will always come back no matter what, at one point your not gonna have the will to kill the same 9 yr old child again
PC Principal punched a hole through Leslie's head, so given her position on the list, his makes perfect sense being so high.
Even aside from that, PC principal could beat most people
Thing to note if we count The Fractured But Whole,Craig is the only character besides Kenny whose powers aren't all make believe (in the context of stuff like Human Kite and Fastpass). His bare punches can take out mobsters. I think he can possibly beat you with THAT much physical power.
I've always wondered, if all their powers are make believe how do they work against adults like cops and literal aliens
@@ebsishdvdhsbd idk frankly, I'm just going off of what little connection between TFBW and the show (which is a few episodes confirming only one character having powers (Kenny)), so it's all just guesswork
and timmy’s as well
@@diverwerk fair, but if I remember correctly Timmy is mentioned in the video. I mostly mentioned Craig because he's essentially just REALLY strong with no explanation (I think). So that may mean he's just normally that strong, or it may be adrenaline based.
@@professorantasma6591 true
With the goth kids you also have to take into account that most of the time they're together as a group, and that's why I think it would be very dangerous to try and fight any of them for the most part.
They also have damaged lungs because underage smoking. They'd be gassed out in no time.
they shipped a kid to scottsdale
And one of them has a fucking knife.
Nah, 0 energy. Destroy them.
Leg kick them
Moral of the story: In a show about some kids, most characters will fuck you up.
7:32 "I think i could take most normal sized women" Blooms 2022
[insert unfunny futa joke]
@@hmmm.74 delete your comment
@@hmmm.74 shut up
@@2fortcow delete your comment
@@s-t-a-r-r-y_n-i-g-h-t-s delete your comment
Butters has been shown to throw hands before, and there always a chance you end up dealing with Professor Chaos. The only way you beat Butters in a fight is to find a way to get him grounded before he grounds you to a pulp 😂
Shouldn't be too hard.
Simple, if I carve his face on with a bat, ez dubs
Yeah, it's an EZ W unless its The Fractured But Whole Chaos because of Chaos Beam, Chaos Confus-O-Tron, and all of his chaos minions, then again, that applies for all TFBW characters.
And his nut punch is strong enough to make a face red with pain.
Butters recreated reality, he beat the shit out of a talk show host he can handle you
Not only is Kenny immortal and keeps coming back to kill you he literally defeated death himself
I'm pretty sure that was a story he told but it was fake.
@@babysnake297 it was a false memory from an episode full of false memories
@@Skibidi_Biden69 I’m 99% sure Kenny actually killed death in season one like episode six I think
@@kaylynecarr42 nah death killed him and it was in stan’s dream where he remembers false memories people tell
There's actually a scenario in which Pip destroys you, but you would have to be dumb enough to call him French to his face.
And have him use a dodgeball
With pip I think it could be 50/50 because if you call him French ie or upset him (remember the dogde ball episode guys) he definitely has it in him, if u give him a ball.
And the archery factor too
Canadians themselves seem to be a wildcard. They're all chill and going about their business but if war or ice hockey happens, it seems to set off some suppressed primal Canadian rage leading to carnage
remember, craig can shoot lasers out of his eyes (pandemic part 2)
Blooms is gonna give Pip his own tier isn't he?
Pip is now to the blooms cinematic universe what vriska is to homestuck, a character so controversial they need to be locked into a isolation chamber to not cause further chaos
Nah no one can beat pip he is the strongest character (not
I could punt that mfer across the room like a football
Yeah man Pip is an absolute beast. (Please help me the Pip fans are holding me captive.)
@@TraumaSandwich I'm one of those Pip fans :)
I like that you gave Timmy his mind powers as an advantage but didn’t give Jimmy his fast pass abilities
Not to mention the two have fight fought before
Yep he ran around the world in less than a second.
You forgot to mention kennys fighting skills as mysterion, but good on you for putting him on the destroy-you list, especially without any hesitation.
I like how this isn’t just a reupload of the stream and it has editing
Same! The editing helps the pacing and makes the video 6ft 200IBS
damn this blooms guy is truly a beefcake
Beeeeeeeffff caaaaaakkkeeee
Beefcake!
BEEFCAKE!
I hear he’s 6’3 200LB but don’t quote me
BEEFCAKE
This is hilarious! Tbh I think you overestimate crab people, even in a group they are small and sure they have armor with their shells but it seems pretty easy to take out their eyes
Normal ass crabs can already pinch off your fingers. I don't want to know what those huge ass pincers can do....
@@bartvansliedregt5482 see that's something I'm not sure about, I'd assume they are powerful but I don't remember seeing them use their claws , but they still have pretty short reach, so maybe a 50/50 chance lol
Then again, they could also be extremely strong crabs. Have you ever seen big crabs do things with their pincers? They can cut your fingers clean off. And given this is a fight, I wouldn't be surprised if the crab people could do that. Also, *crabs can regrow lost limbs.* So even if you get rid of one of their legs, they can come back again.
Edit: Bold of you to assume I'm thanking you for likes.
@@bartvansliedregt5482 Stan or Kyle beat them up lil buddy
The reason why anyone can beat pip is because he is dead!!!!
And french
@@rverusu 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑french
Pip actually goes into rage when mistaken for French so that’s be an advantage
Pip would just surrender because French.
4:54 Kim literally built a replica of the Great Wall of China by himself with his own hands
“I don’t wanna turn into a South Park channel”
Glad to see you’re keeping that promise lol!
this was the best thing ive watched in a while. when you finally got to tweek i went bonkers. hes my favorite + yr right he'd probably go into a meth fueled rage and obliterate you.. and everyone else in his way
Oh really? Then what would you do if Butters started to dance? You know what carnage could this force of destructive chaos unleash when he dance? :P
"I'd destroy Butters"
Professor Chaos needs a word
He literally got such money that he afforded tons of minions and a big mecha
@@bobuxman1434 yet in game couldn’t pay his minions, so lost your house for you
@@cheddarsmith6568 but he did get em back with a side quest
There’s a little uncertainty when you say you can take a baby in a fight…?
Probably because he's only 6ft 3 200Ibs ykno?
A Canadian baby
35:23 tolkien gets pretty strong in post covid like he fights people
Token*
my bad
Yeah but we're walking about 9-year-old Tolkien not adult Tolkien
@@solluxander2421 YOU MONSTER
@@solluxander2421 super racist smh
did i just watch a whole 37:35 video of a dude ranking south park character he could beat upvery seriously at like 2AM? yes, yes i did, i'm suprised you didn't put pip in his own tier like "beat him on SIGHT" or something lmao
Everybody: ....
Blooms: I’m 6’3 200 lbs
Clearly before watching this randy would beat us all up due to "not hearing no bell" and his combo moves.
Young cartman easy but older Jewish Cartman is a beast.
Fighting children, this man is a hero
Would you ever do a playthrough of either of the SP games for the channel? ( I'm asking for FBH or SoT, I know about the other games but I think those would be the best to watch)
that would be so much fun actually
The chat saying he could take Cartman when he literally fed Scott his parents
Yea, after days of scheming and setting it up
love your videos, keep up the good work!!! :D
Much Appreciated
Cwtchy moment
Always beware the nice ones. Such as Canadians. Like Ike. Let alone Mr Mackey caving your head in with one (1) headbutt.
Also I like that Saddam is the only one who doesn't have a transparent backdrop.
I happens to notice that Bradley Biggle wasn’t on the list. Though that’s fair, since he has actual superpowers, He takes it 150%
I know you said “I’d beat Toweely is he was high” but what if he wasn’t high? In TFBH we see that Sober Toweely is very on edge and quite scrappy using aerosol and lighters to set his opponents on fire.
I absolutely adore your South Park content!!!!
26:19 i think that pip should get into the category: Probably winning because he is very good at basketball and he hits kyle hard in one episode. Still he is a Kid
Us Canadians are extremely powerful, but we are extremely hard to get angry
You probs should’ve took into consideration with Clyde at he literally created an army of nazi zombies in the stick of truth thanks to using the alien Taco Bell green sauce
Seeing what Mimsy did in Bring the Crunch, saying that dude is terrifying is accurate lol
Mr.Slave not being in the top tier is absurd
Mr Slave would literally Devour him lemmi winks style
I could not beat Kyle, he'd kick my arsee
No fucking chance with Mr Slave; he went through a high-story plate glass window and still kept his personality about him, and then was immediately fine.
so we really scraping the bottom of the south park barrel i’m still here for it
jimmy one on one is a kid who must have insane shoulder strength because of his situation. He also has 2 metal rods.
PC principal is one dude I wouldn't mess with I mean, there's a scene when he's walking in the hallway and he was so tough they gave him ichigos hollow music from bleach when he was walking 😂
Francis
You know for me personally I'd put everyone in destroying them, but you know I'm just built different
26:44 that's why her hair is so big. It's full of SECRETS
my guy...ain't no way your beating Karen with Mysterion there...
Pip solos Mike Tyson.
Pip also killed an entire Chinese dodgeball team in one shot
Cartman is 50/50 maybe you can beat him easy like a wuss with one slap but there’s also a chance he goes crazy on you and gets Cthulhu or some shut 😂
"Karen is easily beatable"
Mysterion (Basically Alter-ego of kenny): I'm 100 meters from your location and approaching rapidly, start running
Bloom has 0 confidence in his fighting ability lmao
If you forget to put the toilet seat down then Mrs Donovan could beat anyone!
If I was fighting Cartman, it would be a fight where I’m aiming to kill him. I wouldn’t be able to let him get up again ever, because he’ll come back for me.
i'm just gonna put it out there Mr Hat goes in the Getting Destroyed Category
I won’t beat any of them. Because I love them all 😔🍺
“I can take on a baby. Most likely”
-Blooms, 2022
Humor me.
Now that season 26 has started, is "Cupid Me" still losing? I mean... If he goes Cupid Ye you're in trouble
7:54 I would assume you would have the fairest fight with PC
Dude he punched a hole through a mechanical head with his bare hand. He's beating any man on the planet alive rn in unnarmed combat.
Craig and Tweek should be closer in the ranking, not saying that bc it’s a ship but the way they beat each other up and both ended up in the hospital and beat each other up AGAIN for something as small as insulting each other shows a lot. Plus they were in the hospital recovering and they didn’t even hesitate, from that alone it shows that they can resist the pain and keep going no matter what-
Personally I’m bodying Mr. Hat🤷♂️
Kyle, one tapped cartman. I feel like I would kill him.
If it was movie Cartman with the v chip, he’s destroying you
Funny enough, I’ve Crab People for my kryptonite in the Fractured But Whole game. XD
The way I just became obsessed with this channel… I hope you get 100k buddy. Your one of my faves ❤
Much appreciated
Kyle simply slapped Cartman and he got absolutely demolished. TWICE!
Mackey lost a fight to mr.Hat
We all know Timmy is an unbeatable beast
Stan, Cartman, and Sharon are strapped so you would lose.
"Thankfully, I'm not black" -Blooms 2022
Cartman is like batman if you give him prep time he wins.
Let’s all remember Kenny is an actual superhero and he has been ready to fight Cthulhu so I feel like Kenny is very obviously the most powerful character in South Park excluding characters like Jesus or god because that’s not fair
Butters beat up Doctor Oz. You push him far enough, he'll get ya
He also beat up his own dad
I’m 200lbs over 6’… anyways 50/50 chance I can take this girl…
Because he is not
Fighting Kenny is like fighting a GTA Online player you're not gonna win that
See, what we don't know is where he lives.
Assuming since he said "Certain weather events" I'm just gonna guess Florida.
Us flordians can kill anything and are unbeatable.
Let's be honest Pip doesn't deserve it but obviously he would kick pips ass in a heartbeat 😂
Idk about grandpa Marsh..he might summon Manbearpig on you
This is a pretty funny concept for a video, nice 👍🏼
If we are taking the games as canon, Henrietta would destroy you. Physically, yes she looks like she's gonna lose in a fist fight, but taking into account that some of the powers are like "real" (with real i mean Kenny), Henrietta has the power of satanism in her side
I’ve waited for this.
You can easily beat cartman in a fight because you nick once he will bawl like a baby
I’ve been blooming with rage because I haven’t been graced with a blooms upload
Pls stop💀
@@NolanBarford never my puns will live on
@@Ya_Brotha_Bilo you have reached your limit on puns
@@NolanBarford no I haven’t I’m not an alien you are
alternate title:
6'3 man beats up children but loses to babies with shades
Didnt craig literally shoot energy rays from his eyes 😂
I'm 5'5 and 150lbs and i would destoy PC principal. Why? Because it would be beating up a minority and he's too PC to do anything about kt
If you did beat Cartman in a fight, he would do something very diabolical as revenge
Not if you make him fear you
Not if you murder him.
@@justafurrywithinternet317 good point, and, unless he's a hydra, beheading should work just fine
I would hope you could beat all of them. They're made of construction paper.