Can I Date A Non Believer? Moving In With A Guy? ⎮ OUR ADVICE
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
- What's up wolf gang! We are sharing part one of our advice video. This video has a lot of relationship and dating questions and we did our best to give some solid advice and speak into your situations. In this video we talk about if a girl should pursue a boy she likes, staying in a relationship with a non believer, moving in with your spouse, and navigating close friendships with the opposite sex.
Podcast Mentioned:
www.heartofdating.com/podcast...
#datingadvice #relationshipadvice #kianandkyle
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Kian ⇢ / kiantilton
Kyle ⇢ / @kylewolfgang
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Love this video! I relate to the 2nd question so much because I was in a very similar situation with an ex-boyfriend. When we got together he was an Athiest and hated anything to do with God/religion and I wasn't Christian but had grown up in a Christian family and believed in God. So, we dated for about a year until I started to read the Bible and become interested in going to church and watching people's testimonies and NDEs on youtube. I began feeling super convicted of my sin and was realising that having sex before marriage, in particular, was wrong. I would pray and pray for months for Jesus to free me of this sin, but I was also scared of losing a guy that I loved. In the end, I told him I needed to stop having sex, but that I hoped we could stay together and work through it. He said he couldn't stay with me, which hurt, but now I'm so thankful he said that, because the relationship wouldn't have worked anyway, or I would have ended up going back to my sin. After we broke up, Jesus told me he has someone awesome for me. From my experience, being unequally yolked is a no go, and being single as a new believer has been life-changing and I have gotten to know Jesus so much more
What you went through is exactly what I went through as well! Super hard but in being single I’ve just been praying and trusting that Gods will be done🙏🏽 God bless you💗
My boyfriend and I have been together two years now…. When we met I wasn’t a Christian (although had been brought up in a Christian family so had some understanding) but I wouldn’t have called myself an Atheist either - perhaps I always thought there was something bigger than us 🤷🏼♀️
My boyfriend had been a Christian his whole life and was always certain that he wanted to meet/date someone who also had faith but something clicked when we met and he never pushed his beliefs on me.
Fast forward 12 months into our relationship and the lord saved me and changed my life. I have very much been on my own journey wand with the lord and my faith is now my priority in first instance.
However my relationship with my boyfriend has grown even closer and we can see fruits of the lord working in our relationship - we’re now at a stage where we go to church and do bible study together regularly which is so nice.
I am certain that the lord brought us together for a reason (partly my boyfriend had an influence on me to explore faith although I think God always knew he’d call me home!).
I see him as my future husband and am so grateful that he didn’t give up on the relationship due to my lack of faith at the time.
I completely agree that a relationship whereby both people have a strong faith is key however it can also be a beautiful journey you go on together. I would advise that there is so much strength in praying and the lord listens and will make it happen if they are meant for you.
Beautiful testimony 🙌 thanks for sharing! It's awesome to see what the Lord has done in your lives and we praise Him for it! We couldn't agree more, praying is vital and the Lord does listen and hears our prayers! It's powerful to know that He truly will make it happen if it's meant to be and we don't have to do much but follow Him! God bless you guys 🙏💛
Loved this video, you guys are so real and honest, thank you for your advice. I must say you've helped me bring God into my life, i was always a believer but never really studied the word, prayed, etc so i thought you should know how much you have influenced me (and i believe many others) to lead a more spiritual life.
Wow thank you for sharing! That’s amazing! God is so good and Loves you so much - all glory to Him 🙌 Keep following Matthew 6:33-34 and Proverbs 3:5-6 and as you do we pray blessings over your life and relationships in Jesus name 💛
Loved it. Great job, y’all!
Another great video filled with faith, insight and transparency!!! Love you both!!! 🙌💛🥰
You and Kyle are one of my favorite Christian married couples to watch 🙂❤. I enjoyed watching this video.
Thank you so much for the podcast! I needed it.
Thank you for taking the time to edit and upload yet another great video Kian and Kyle!! ❤❤
You’re welcome and thank you for watching and engaging with us 💛 we appreciate you!
My husband wasn’t a Christian when we first started dating. We had known each other for awhile (9 years). His family was Christian but he had walked away from God due to some horrible experiences within church. He vowed to work on his relationship with God and he did. He did Bible study with my dad (pastor) started regularly coming to church again and meeting with other men to talk through his questions. He got saved and baptised and now we’re married!
I knew in my heart that we were meant to be together and it was what God wanted. But i wouldn’t recommend it to everyone.
Relationships are really between you, the other person and God. Other people will try to tell you what to do but if you are seeking God’s will and know in your heart, their opinion doesn’t matter.
Well said 👏👏 God bless you, your husband, and your marriage 💛
I truly want to thank you guys because I'm currently struggling with the topics you just talked about, like non-equally yoked relationships, temptation with the opposite sex and doing things I know I shouldn't do because I left aside my relationship with the Lord, and you guys instead of making me feel ashamed for it, hearing the truth in your videos has brought me so much freedom and clarity from all the lies and confusion, you constantly encourage me to come back to God. So eternally grateful with you both, God bless you and your marriage, I'm so excited for part 2! 🤗💖
Wowwww comeonnnn! So amazing! Praise the Lord 🙌 and God bless you 💛
Thanks for the video Kian and Kyle!😊❤🙏
You’re welcome 💛
thank you guys for being so wise and honest❤️ your family is an example for me
Aw so sweet praise God! We appreciate you 💛
You guys are the cutest! I love your videos together. Such an inspiration 🙌🏻🙏🏻
Awww thanks 🙏💛
Kyle throwing so many wisdom bombs! Wow!
Love your videos!!
Thank you :)
The cardigan turned out so cute AH! Also love you guys!
Haha we love you too!
Great advise 👏🏻 keep serving the Lord. It's such an inspiration
Thank you! God bless you 💛
I started watching Kian's channel before I got saved and watched it for a while after I got saved as well and now I just don't come to TH-cam that much in general, so I stopped, but tonight I was just aimlessly scrolling and this was much needed! I've been a bit apathetic about my relationship with God for quite some time now and feel like lately I'm finally coming back again. And seeing you guys talk on here and bringing God into everything is amazing and so refreshing! Just what my soul needed! Thank you guys! Could you please also pray for my walk with God? As I feel I really need that 🙈
To the lovely new Christian dating a non Christian, I hope you know you are so worthy of a profound love. The man you are loving now is a precious image bearer and he may be in a prodigal season. We have all at some point been in a prodigal season, God was still in love with us and rejoiced when we came home. You cannot pressure someone to come home, I know because you love him you want him to be a Follower of the Way. He will come home just keep praying. When I was dating someone who didn’t believe, I prayed to God to break my heart if this relationship isn’t His Will for my life. You are not alone in the pain 💕
I am going through a mixture of these situations right now and I hate how obvious and simple the answers are (from an objective pov), like I know what I should do in theory (which is exemplified by what you are saying), but in practice when you are dealing with a real-life-human-being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions it just makes it so difficult :( I'm finding it really hard to know what the next step is.
Totally understand this and you're right it's easier said then done... but the freedom that comes from following the Lord and not our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions is what it's all about. Praying you seek the Lord in all of this, give it all to Him, and allow Him to lead you in a way that honors Him, yourself, and the individuals involved 🙏💛
@@KianandKyle That's what I want more than anything x Thank you
You guys are the best! Love your advice videos💛💛💛 thanks for your service for the Lord. Sending hugs and praying daily for your sweet family
Woohoo! God bless you 💛
Great advice! Those birds are crazy! Im going on 8 years of marriage and it’s work! It’s all worth it though!
I know right they show up everyday without fail! And thanks we definitely agree. Takes a lot of work but is a total blessing 🙌
Love you guys
We love you too!
When it comes to working together as a new couple, I would agree with Kyan to express your expectations clearly and talk about things, the earlier in the journey the better. Also, have low expectations because people are bound to disappoint us one way or another (non of us are God after all). And then on what Kyle said of keeping the suggestions light-hearted, I would say, keeping your attitude and expectations light-hearted is a good idea (many times more than needing the other person to change we need to change ourselves), but I would say the light-hearted comment won’t really work for everyone because what would some man take as a light-hearted comment, others will take as passive-aggression and others as sarcasm so it all depends on your husbands personality (also same thing applies to us woman as well, not to make it one dimensional).
It truly does depend on the couple and the situation... but yes 👏 well said!
so i’m not christian but for some reason i’m always interested to hear your perspectives on different topics. one thing that confuses me is your fear of temptation, especially with the question about guy/girl friendships. it’s interesting to me that you would avoid even the possibility of temptation (there are plenty of friendships that never enter this territory). and even if there is temptation, can’t you resist it? is there no such thing as self control? if you find yourself getting close to sin, then i understand taking a step back, but why not give these friendships a chance? as a non-religious example, i don’t eat meat for ethical reasons, but i also don’t go out of my way to avoid temptation because i know that my morals will always outweigh any “temptation” i experience. i’d love to hear what i’m missing here!
Hey thanks for being here :) and great question. To clarify, we don't "fear" temptation or anything for that manner because the victory is already ours in Christ Jesus. What we do is we GUARD ourselves as the Bible encourages us to do, so we can live in a way that honors God with our lives. It's easy for that to come off as fear but it's actually the opposite, its faith. So thanks for bringing that up!
We honor God by following His Word and the Bible tells us much about all of this... A FEW scriptures for you are:
Proverbs 4:23
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
1 Corinthians 6:18
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body."
1 Timothy 6:11
"But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness."
God does also talk about that last part you mentioned but He is very clear that we cannot overcome sin and temptation out of our own flesh, it's only through His Spirit can we live in true freedom. In fact we cannot even fully recognize sin without having faith in Him and being filled with His Spirit. But when we are in relationship with Him, then yes we can overcome sin because once again the victory is already ours through what He did on the cross.
1 Corinthians 10:13
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."
To wrap this up, it's not that you cannot have a friend of the opposite sex, is that you need to have wisdom within it and maybe we didn't do the best job in making that clear within the video so I apologize for that. It's the wisdom and discernment from the Lord to help us see that CLOSE relationships with the opposite sex CAN lead to temptation and sin which He calls us to FLEE from... not flirt with. With that in mind, if you are looking for a serious relationship and a spouse, is it really smart to have a "best friend" with someone of the opposite sex. How will that make your future spouse feel? How will it even work?
I hope this helps you see where we are coming from and why we avoid certain things. We avoid certain things to protect ourselves and those around us, all while honoring God for what He has done for us. It's about following the Holy Spirit and not just our own flesh which is deceiving. It's not out of fear, it's out of faith in God 💛
John 3:16
"For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."
Btw we LOVE these genuine questions so never be afraid to speak your mind and ask! God bless you 💛
I 100% agree with the question about if the girl should stay in the relationship with the non believer. In the beginning of my relationship, my boyfriend told me he grew up Catholic but never practiced. I would tell him that practicing Catholicism is a big part of my life and I want someone who will be with me to walk in my faith but he kinda shut me down and was like not right now like yeah I believe in God but I don’t want to go to church. Thank God he soon realized like if I want to be with her, I’m going to at least try and ever since then he has grown soooo much and created his own relationship with the lord it’s insane! He is the one that reminds me to pray when I sometimes forget! I’m saying this because he was already a believer and even then we struggled with religion. I’m lucky enough to have him by my side and to be able to practice our faith together but unfortunately that’s just not always the outcome…
So good thanks for sharing! And so true, it's not always the outcome. In one of our most previous videos we talk about our walks with the Lord, and they aren't always on fire or look the same. It doesn't mean to give up on the person and we hope that's not what this answer came across as. It's more, if the other person has no relationship with God and doesn't want one but you do... well that's another story. Anyways, thanks again for sharing this awesome testimony of God working in your lives and we pray blessings over your relationship as you seek the Lord together and individually, in Jesus name 🙏
im really glad Kyle is more emotionally stable now. or seems to be. I dont see as many videos of him being distraught over his new life and responsibilities as a husband.
Hey I have a question, how do you prepare yourself for a relationship and how should you work through it with God? I know that I need to really grow in my faith significantly before I even think about a relationship with a guy but while in the waiting what should I do. Also I just got out of a relationship because he was not strong in his faith at all and we didn’t have the same values and everyone is judging me for it but I feel I made the right decision what are your thoughts. I know I struggle a lot with sexual sin and lustful thoughts and what are good ways to defeat that with the Lord. Thank you so much love you’re videos
Kian!!! Can you do a video on what it means to be equally yoked? I hear you two talk about it but I don’t know what it means. Please add scripture references if you do😊😊😊
We sure can - stay tuned 😊
Hi Kian, What do u do for a living? Love you guys! From 🇦🇷
Thanks we love you too! Kian is full time TH-cam and also runs Hallelujah Sunday :)
Great video
Thank you!
You guys look the same now😄
thought i was the only one who noticed lol
I disagree on your opinion regarding best guy/girl friendships. Firstly, because there certainly can be platonic male/female best friendships as I have experienced such types of friendships with guys. We knew we only saw each other as a brother and sister.
Secondly, it is entirely possible that God purposefully brought a guy and a girl to be friends at first so that He would have them get married later on. It could be that it was His design from the start to bring them together that way.
Thirdly, if they truly are good friends and they ended up marrying other people, they would respect their friend's space with their new spouse.
Also, you said it could be a source of temptation in these best guy/girl friendships. But everyone's temptation thresholds are different. I've spent lots of alone time with my close guy friends where there's a mutual sibling feeling between us. And nothing has happened.
I certainly agree that with a married couple, certain boundaries with friends should be respected and kept, esp. with opposite sex friends. However, if both friends are single, they are equally yoked, they're compatible in all the most important ways, and they develop feelings for each other, I don't see an issue with them taking their relationship to the next level, and even to marriage. The best marriages are built on a strong friendship. On the other side of it, if their interaction is "lopsided" where one develops feelings but the other doesn't, if they are true friends, they would be able to work it out.
Men and women CAN be friends
Sure they can, but would we recommend being CLOSE friends - like best friends who talk all the time and hand out alone together? No. It's asking for temptation to come in, and if you are looking for a serious relationship with someone else, it will more than likely cause problems down the road. We've seen this before, and obviously every situation is different, but this would be the general consensus especially to those walking with the Lord.
REPENT FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND TURN FROM SIN AND TURN TOWARDS RIGHTEOUSNESS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS
JESUS CHRIST IS COMING BACK SOON AND WE MUST BE READY FOR WHEN HE COMES BACK
Your responses to the questions about the male/female friendships are strange...you're basically inferring that everyone should be viewed simply as a sexual being and therefore people of the opposite sex should not be close friends. I'm not sure how it matters whether one of my close friends has a penis or vagina. Humans are highly developed animals and sex isn't the be all and end all of our lifespan. It is quite possible to develop a deep emotional relationship with someone without any romantic/sexual/physical feelings whatsoever.
No that's not at all what they have said... They didn't say that two people of the opposite sex can't be friends. But if we are all honest: you can't be super close with each other and not develop romantic feelings AT ALL (at least one of them).
Your comment is just unnecessary and mean..