The Narcissist Is A Sex Chameleon
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2024
- Sex is an integral part if the dynamic with the narcissist. Understand the chameleon nature of the narcissist when it comes to sex. Why do some narcissists engage in certain sexual behaviours ? What about closeted behaviour?
Sex and the Narcissist gum.co/JBqtY
This is why when they leave and you see what they replaced you with is so shocking. They will get with anyone who lets them do what they want. Thank you!
Exactly that's all they look for young people that are naive usually the target
Yeppp
@Paradigm Climb yep and sometimes less attractive
You very right she left me for a drug consumer
So true! You should see what the narc took up with in secret...I saw his attempts at triangulation and decided to play detective...let's just say that KY which was purchased, "for no particular reason" which subsequently went missing can be squirted into any doughy roll of choice. Sex done ordinarily, in this instance, would be akin to hucking a hotdog down a hallway.
I was very young and a virgin when I married my narc, he kept telling me I was frigid, after I left him I found a kind, tender man and had wonderful sex and I had my first orgasm, proving it was him not me, he was a lousy lover but unfortunately I had no comparison. Also all my physical complaints and my anxiety and depression disappeared. He was truly a devil and my whole experience was soul crushing.Feeling so much better now, thank God.
Old supply, new supply, meet n f*ck supply, meat n suck supply, anonymous supply, secret supply... It's all good... Projectile vomit
Vomit is too good for these f -tards
The one I dealt with used to say 'I wanna f*** your soul'... took me a while and a few months of education on this topic to finally understand what he really meant. He was always pretty honest. 'I hate women. I wanna control everything. The cat hates you. I have two faces. I am dangerous. You are mine....' You better listen well and believe every word you hear. And then...RUN for your life.
😲😯🤢 no joke, mine said those words verbatim. The hair on my arms stood up reading your comment.
Did we date the same narc? I also had the same mirroring emotional devaluing.
She ever said that other than you're mine u belong to me, I don't like to share. But it was with this, shy yet firm tonality. It's aggression but like this flirty aggression I guess u could say. She definitely was proud as hell to have me ill give her that.
I guess that's what sorta heirs too. That proud feeling just vanished in a blink after 13 yrs some random day. Went and lived with her family.. Exactly how she was before we met. Feels so weird.
I got baptized by my ex-husband who I thought had my good intentions but he tried to steal my soul and it didn't work. He baptized my children and grandchildren and it did work on them. I've lost my whole family due to psychonarcs.
My goodness. My ex narc used to say that he didn’t only wanted my body, but also my soul 😳when we were having sex.
😂😂😂 nothing shocks me anymore with narcs. Even bestiality..
😀😱🤣
Fido sit!!!!! Fido I said sit!!!
Ok Fido bend over...it's downward dog for you!! (Orders the narcissist ; )
😜😂😜😂
Omg 😔
@V Torfin that’s f-ing gross and unacceptable. Call the cops!
Sex is another way for them to simply seduce you, and then harm you entirely, by discarding your needs.
The most horrible thing human can go through 😞
@@dzevadzahirovic244 I see
I have learned that now
I have now experienced this, I knew something wasn't right, it was on their terms the whole time, no passion, no show of desire for me, I was so blind to it, but I could feel them draining my energy in every aspect of my life, thankfully I put pieces together and ended the relationship April 21.
Thank you so much for the super information. The narcissist I spent time with is probably gay. The explanation of lower mid range, with tough manly facade fit him perfectly. So this video was a nice validation of what I eventually understood. There were many things that pointed to him being gay, but he refused
everytime I brought it up.
After 2 narcissists, I have also noticed that sex reveals that the person is a narcissist. Because there is no emotional contact when you have sex.
You are welcome.
I learned that there is fake sex they have with you. They pretend to be so deeply passionate with you that you believe it. They do this with everyone.
Can you say why you felt he was gay? Im very interested in your reasons. Purley to see if they match with my hunch. I feel the same but its so far removed from who he is but i just feel it
Thanks
When i was with the narcissist, i suspected that he was bisexual. I caught him staring at men sometimes. 😒
You were being triangulated.
@@hgtudor-theultra I didn't know then. 😔
A lot of so called straight men are bisexual or bi curious.
@Brooklyn Bridge I too dated a narcissist & recently found out that he is into men & women🙄😡 Which literally took me by surprise...jaw dropping as well as disturbing😰😵 if I knew any of these things about this guy… I would have never in my life dated him whatsoever! I literally feel traumatized with disgusted🤮😤
I felt that too
Hello H.G. 👋🏻
I already read your book about sex and the Narcissist. It's hurtful but very helpful ! To realise,
how your kind use sex as a weapon helped me out of that nightmare !!
Good to know, how emotionally cold your kind is ! It makes it easier to leave !! Cause it's absolutely senseless !!
Thank you for reading and it is an exceptional insight into the mind of the narcissist.
@@hgtudor-theultra
Yes, ..not to understand for me, but I accept it . I wouldn't want to exchange... 😉
The worst part is living with them knowing what they are and dealing with trying to get out of the mess and years of trauma. They just drain all the life out of everything and need to have their fix like a wild untamed beast with no control except in hiding their “truth”
Dealing with this right now.
@@WorldOfARandomVegan sorry to hear. 13 yrs w a covert narcissist. 😕
If u think about a baby crying for a bottle, they don't care the mom is tired and probably sick. They want what they want.
This never went awy with the narcissist. The word human is just another catagory like table, pets, and vehicles are to us. They don't assign value to the word human.
They're just soemthing that can be used to get what they want. It's like a hammer. We're used to drive the nail in. If the hammer breaks, get another one. Some hammers like us are more hugh quality and last a lot longer.
Yep. 9 years single as a result. My freedom is not for sale nor negotiable.
So, in fact the narcissist himself is just "nobody" but a puzzle made of other people: a little piece of James, another little piece of John, a bigger piece of Matthew, another little piece of Helen and a little bit of Ella. No own personality, no own sexual preferences, no self because the true self (aka The Creature) has been gone and imprisoned long time ago. What´s left is a mere and empty construct. There´s no person. No person, no sexuality.
That comes fairly close. Their ego development was severely impaired before the age of three, and now it's irreparable.
You could say that about anybody. None of us exist independently with our own original ideas styles or behaviours.
@@amberl4053 We´re talking about the PATHOLOGIC manifestation of narcissism (NPD) here! See DSM-5 and ICD-10 and H.G. Tudors material.
Sounds like a 🎶 song
@@prim9999 thanx
This explains the relationship between my brother and my ex boyfriend. Both posing as heterosexuals but looking for every opportunity to be together. they tried to triangulate me but I was having non of it and am disgusted by their behavior. my brother, especially is a pillar of the community. If I had called them out on this, I would have been branded "crazy".
Wow that's epic totally in the realm though, that's must have been weird as, 🦋🌺
I am so sick of being told " I'm making it up" 😒
@@trisharitter I know you not girl this is real..
This is why you have to learn to postpone sexual activity as long as possible and ask lots of questions about their past relationships and their sexuality. Pay attention to their response. Narcs are super uncomfortable with this and might totally disappear if you don't spread your legs to their amazing selves from the start. Some are really good at pretending to be patient but it's likely they are getting their needs met on the side with several other options. Be careful and never give too much too soon. They usually believe themselves to be sex gods and goddesses and they establish control through sex.
Have you observed this in both genders or only in men?
I've observed this in Men. He told me he loves to get his target and spoil them with sex, then leave's them hanging once he's conquered said target because they have had such a great sexual experience with him so expect it again and again, thinking he feels the same!
WRONG.
This is where he gets t fuel, by not giving anymore but withdrawing, showing a total disinterest in that person and the mind blowing sex and sense of connection he tricked them into thinking and feeling!?
He will probably go after a new source of supply, right before their eyes once he's done, and probably someone in their clique, loke their best friend or their Sister ect, its a sick game they Play and they think they are so unbelievably gifted at sex and they only have to wiggle a bit and the target is in planet heaven. So delusional. The same type don't.
They make rhe effort and pull out all the stops, once or twice and that it. The rest of the time its literally all about him. He doesn't even want to know let alone care about you and your anticipation.
Once they've achieved that high of getting you, drinking up.that fuel at rhe first second droppings, you are done.
You wont get a repeat performance loke that ever again. What you get is used, for whatever he got off on that you did that he loked the most, until he secures another sucker to do the same.
And all the BS in-between.
Bit some Narccists really do think they have a magic wand, literally.
Only people who fall for and put up with this are vulnerable, lonley, and/or have issues and poor self esteem.
Once you know, get out and stay out.
Horrible
.@@dsarah60
that part❕❕❕❕❕
@@dsarah60 It is ABSOLUTELY BOTH GENDERS, a narc is a narc no matter the gender!
You’ve outlined the narcissist I knew in fine detail, in every way. He is definitely mid range and has he’s sexual wants and desires always in many different pools (male, female, anything), covert or otherwise at any given time.
Indeed, I know my kind inside out.
Sex was used for every possible circumstance.....to settle a argument, get something he wanted from me , other than sex, everything was settled in the bedroom, bang, bang..thank you mam. It had no love, sweetness, no cuddling or hugging. I was an instrument to be used. I believe he had several affairs, while married to me. Always looking for someone to stick it in. Always told everyone how holy and saintly he was, haha.very, very judgmental with other people’s behavior. What a nightmare.
Sounds like mine. He was shit in bed looking back
@@TheFaro2011 happened to me lived for 13 years once you learned it's most descasting thing you have gone long though 😞
Yawn! Only missionary. One-sided and lacked connection. BUT, all the women he cheated on with got lovemaking and connection, even if temporary. I was the fuel to make him better for others.
I know one who wud post a praise god post then send a what time can we meet text within the same minute yucks
I can Relate to what you're saying
Sex and the Narcissist is an outstanding, intelligent read. I highly recommend and I am a big prude.
I am a prude also❤️👍🌸
Many times Narcissists were sexually abused as children and thus it became the genesis that ignites the beginnings of their perverse sexual lives.
HG, your information is clarifying, hilarious, insightful and nonpareil. Fantastic video. This information is gold.
Thank you for confirming things I finally worked out about my narcissistic ex of 12 years and my ex husband if 25!. Definitely and interesting mindset. I was listening going yes, yes, yes!!! I unfortunately now understand how frustrated he (12yrs) must have been when I lovingly accepted and encouraged his cross dressing, she male predilection. I strongly suspected homosexual tendencies. He would go to work in his male dominated industry wearing ladies underwear under his overalls. When so I took a break from him that didn’t go well, he started taking transitioning hormones, I knew what they were as I had a friend who had gone through the process. He started going out with my sister when I took my time to step back to see what could be done to keep the relationship going as I had run out of ideas (had a narc husband of 25 years before that so I can put up with a lot trying to make them love me and I started this process of with a narcissistic mother so that was the set up! It took me 53 years to work it out in the state so was in. My last ex of 12 years knew that my husband withholding sex and affection very much hurt me and he used that for the last 10 years of the “relationship”. He knew the stonewalling was very potent so he used that too. He knew my sister was my Achilles heal so he’s with her and embedded in my bio family who I was always the outsider to (thank you for confirming the hypocrisy as he hated them as they were users and we rarely saw them when we were together. ) I knew he cannot be alone and has minimal chance of finding others so my family are a known quantity. I probably upset him when sharing my thoughts on his cross dressing (he refused to actively share that area with me) , she male, homosexual aspects with my family and sister. I did it because I knew the family have a high acceptance of these things as we have a diverse range of sexual orientations in the family and we are all okay with that! It was so he’d already be accepted! As you can imagine that was a huge fail!!!! How to piss a narcissist off hey! Anyway I was told by all the family that I would have to suck it up and watch them all play happy families. I just decided that I just didn’t want to play their game anymore and got off the merry go round and shut the door on them all. I realised after cutting them out that every time I engaged with them in anyway that they were still manipulating me in various ways which meant it triggered a trauma response every time. I finally feel peaceful and not in survival mode. It has been so good finding out about narcissistic/sociopathic individuals (unfortunately after 53 years and in hindsight but better late than never!) as I had pieced things together the long and hard way which isn’t easy to comprehend by a “normal” person and more so an empath, I did it more by observation of the damage and chaos created by them. Stepping away from them all and in detachment it is clear as day now. I wish them and their mind f-kery well without me. Having nearly no one believe me even though I was right (one person my DV worker at 42 was the first and pretty much in of 3 people in the end (they had experienced it themselves) made life very challenging, it taught me extreme resilience (what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger) and forced me to finally love myself as they were never going too. That was their gift to me by pushing me too far. I am grateful to them for that after healing as this is EXACTLY what they DIDN’T want!!! That has given me total freedom to not require any external validation from ANYONE and being more than okay with being on my own!!!
Information and awareness would have made this journey so much easier than questioning everything due to gaslighting from all angles. I do appreciate the sharing of the inner world of narcissists. Thank you for the peace and clarity every time I read or hear something that 💯validates my warped experiences. ❤️
So all that great, deep, spiritual sex was him reflecting what I wanted. Good thing I loved great, deep, spiritual sex and it made him feel great!! He played right along because he got great fuel. I praised and worshipped him like a god. I finally understand the comment about the empath's narcissistic tendencies. I was being exactly what he needed so I could get exactly what I wanted. A deep, spiritual connection, even if it was an act, until I did my supernova move and confronted/exposed questionable behaviour. To which he responded, "I'm done. Stop talking. Please leave!" and it was over in a flash. 3.5 years of playing pretend was gratefully over. (except I miss the perfect sex, perfect for me ;) ).
I can relate.. I realized even as the empath I had a narcissistic agenda, wanting to help him grow and change so we could have a healthy relationship when I've always known who and what he is (I've known him 25 years). I tried to force my desire for a loyal, monogamous relationship on him knowing full well he is, in his words, "damaged but not broken" and incapable of emotional connection and a complete inability to be vulnerable without injecting humor (which he always pointed out in the moment). Same with the sex. He said he enjoyed looking into my eyes and connecting (but I know he's also into rough and possibly really gross stuff which isn't me and I think I bored him) but pretty sure that was mirroring. He ghosted me a month ago after I brought up some issues we had that he just tried to sweep under the rug. I reached out to apologize for a few things because I take responsibility and accountability for myself, despite the fact he owes me MUCH more in the apology department. He didn't respond but that's fine. It was to release my part from my chest and to release any thoughts about the situation. Lessons learned and moving forward.
You’re blowing my mind with this comment. I was struggling with this feeling of, why if i know he is a Narc do i want that sex so bad? It was because he did it just perfectly. All my kinks and tender emotion all faked by him. I could almost see his mask flickering on and off at times. He had different looks. I wish I could talk more about this with people.
@@oregonsnob31 I understand you fully…I enjoyed his sex for amazing sex purposes…he satisfied me
I’m going through the same thing now too ;
We get addicted to the sex hormones released through orgasms as women , oxytocin , it’s a chemical thing , so that’s why it’s damn hard to give up the narcs if they are good in
Bed , I’m feeling that I’m going cold turkey and grieving him .
My ex narc informed me on his first Hoover attempt that he ended up buying a silicone sex doll! 😂🤷 The more I thought about it, the more I felt like it was truly the perfect woman for him. 😁😉
When I was in a relationship with a narcissist, I noticed he frequently asked “did you enjoy x and y? Did it feel good?” But there came a point when I asked, “why is it that you don’t seem to.want to know if I’m happy about anything else in the relationship?” He got angry and said “maybe I shouldn’t talk to you at all then.” Yep.
He was checking the extent of control (unconsciously) with a rather obvious behaviour.
@@hgtudor-theultra
Thank you for the response. It’s funny, because I was very young and had no idea about a narcissist, and after a while, I felt confused and as though I must’ve accidentally made the question sound offensive. And as things continued, one day I said, I feel like you’re trying to train me like a dog. If I do something you want, you’re happy with me. If I talk about me or things I want, you’re angry or you just disappear. I seems like you don’t want to think about me.” He said, “Don’t tell me I treat you like a dog. You’re a human. So it’s literally impossible for you to be treated like a dog. Impossible. Because you’re are not a dog. That doesn’t even make any sense.” My gosh. This channel has helped me so much. The why. And just the peace of knowing that I did try, but that nothing I said or did would’ve ever been enough. Thank you.
Yeah mines ask if I came every time or if it was good.smh
Typically narc characteristic
I was asked would I do 3somes .
I did many years ago but was not proud of myself having done this, it makes me cringe when I think about it.
I had an inkling he also took part in bi sexual activity it would not surprise me.
The sexual experience with this person was the worst, no foreplay, just a bang.
Very humiliating! Very creepy!
I haven't watched this yet but can say 2 narcs I've dealt with were terrible at sex, neither could bare reciprocal touch and had ED issues. Both were obsessed with pleasuring me, and constantly looking for validation about just how amazing they were at that. Spoiler alert 📢 it became lame and boring AF really fast and they didn't like being told THAT! 🤣
Second husband was exactly like this. Thus I've been single for 10 yrs. 😂 Better to be alone than with one of those again. 😂😂❤ Self love.
Need for power determines behavior, illuminating, thank-you!
My toxic ex narc loved it when gay men were checking him out on the street. He denied it but I know he LOVED the attention!
I'm sure that's not all he loves 🤔😉
My Narc ex, who likes females, flirted outrageously with a guy friend of mine after I told Narc he thought he might be gay. Not because he liked my friend, but because he *loved* the power of having him in his thrall.
@@kate6458 damn
I believe that his problem was drugs, not narcisism. And gay man possibly represented a way to get drugs more easily, or share some commom ground.
My ex husband once blushed when a Random guy smiled at him. He started acting weird.. That random guy didn't do anything wrong ..i was also present there..Afterwards he bragged that the guy had winked at him when I was not watching.
Narcissists are constantly seeking approval and sex is no different. They really are THAT insecure.
My narc seemed to want me to mark her out of ten. I felt like a judge scoring an ice dance at the Winter Olympics. She wasn't all that good either so forget all this garbage about what great lovers they all are.
The narcissist does not recognise insecurity, it is the threat to control which manifests (for most) unconsciously. Many narcissists are exceptional between the sheets (I regularly consult with people who have experienced that and I know of my own prowess in that regard), but yes, some narcissists are incompetent sexually or mechanical in that regard.
Must day HG ur kind loves sex is darn good at it
It's the trap
Is it not
No I don't believe insecurity come into it
I saw he diff he ws during sex very very diff
Fuel i must of BURST frm it
You should have told her to try again and make her work. Lol
I know they have twisted minds. An enjoyable act between 2 people is turned into a competition event. They are so shallow.
@@hgtudor-theultra Oh brother
@@hgtudor-theultra once you've had narc how the hell do you go back?
This video was lightbulb moment. It answered a lot of questions & confirmed my suspicions. This is one of the main reasons why I've been so aggressively criminally stalked & harassed by the narc long after ending it. He's misrepresenting himself & I found out thanks to my intuition & his dirty trail of breadcrumbs💣💥💥💥
Everytime I come across a video on Narcissists, I want to tell a short story of my experience but knowing myself that could lead into a long story due to me not wanting to miss out all the details.🤷🏾♀️
Same same😊
Mine did a discard and ended up covered in scabies 6 months later-dodged that bullet
Delightful.
@@hgtudor-theultra i agree 🤣
Good! Karma! Well rid 🙌😘
omg lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank you, this is one of the most interesting and shocking topics. 🤯
Indeed it is and you are welcome.
You used the word "shapeshifting." On our first date he told me that his name meant "shapeshifter." He told me what he was then. I just thought it was romantic and mysterious. Turns out his name doesn't even mean that. So he told me who he was in the context of a lie. Sexually, he used to describe himself as fluid - his tastes odd and eclectic. He was so charismatic, damn. I was hooked. I'm so glad to be rid of him.
My ex-husband who never showed gay tendencies that I knew of became obsessed with a trans person with a penis. He went into a rage when I confronted him about being gay. Called me a delusional pathological liar at the same time he was shoving this person in my face. Projection, buddy.
Is y'all name Legion & Y'all Are Many??? Real Talk...I'm not even being funny.... I'm serious as fuck!!!💯💯💯
Thats HIGHLY possible!! I've already considered that.
I definitely think Legion is accurate. 💯
HG this was a very interesting video!! I’m now sure that the ex Narc(Mid range) is bisexual!! The things he said he fantasized about had me totally baffled. It all make sense to me now. Thank You!!
You are welcome.
I found out during the marriage that my then husband was engaging in perverse behaviour. I have the impression that the last narc was pursuing both men and women behind my back. He also claimed sexual impotence because of xyz injury. The sex was not fulfilling, very rare and was focused all about him. I bought the book 'Sex and the Narcissist'. It should be a good read as I had encounters with men in the past who had fetishes.
Thank you for your purchase, you will find it a jew dropper.
These creatures are absolutely repulsive 🤮 How someone can be this manipulative, deceitful and exploitative is absolutely sickening and truly horrifying. On top of that they also have multiple side pieces on the go too! You just can’t make this stuff up!
Please do a video on the way they affect our health. Thank you
Yes !
This
Badly. End of video. 😋
Please do 🙏🏽
Yes
Haven't even started this, and, all I can think of is a question someone asked me about a (narc) ex....."Do you think he actually gay?"
My response?
"Nope. Now that so much of what he hid has come out, I can confidently say that his sexual orientation is *himself* "
And, I wasn't being flippant.
Just honest & matter of fact, based on his (now, at least partly-known) sexual history.
Curious to listen to your take on this now!
I just realised I've lived a pretty sheltered life 😆
They'll destroy you....yet the sex act will always be the best you'll ever experience. So good in a dark weird way.
He thought he was the best! 😄
Not in my experience, he humiliated and berated me during sex,I lost all confidence
Nah
Nah, narc is so sucks in sex because we can’t feel the emotional connection with them, and how great they are it’s a turn off for me. LOL.
12 years of marriage 50 years old wife 48 she ghosted to be August 1 I’m here to tell you now,That SHE fucked me from here to Hiroshima,,!! what I’m saying is that theof all day long is fucking,If you’d like to see a picture type Thomas Wilson on Facebook and look for the sable Go to Photos and you’re gonna see a cute little gentle ,unassuming lady --+++=+=+=== cc+++. she will mess your life up dude
Honestly can't say I'd be surprised, phone always guarded, did spend time in prison, not my problem anymore,
On all the dating apps now, you see people label themselves as “pansexual”
They’re basically saying they’re sexuality is a chameleon / highly adaptive one
Socially engineered!
@@timmywitty1432 exactly 💯👏
Dating apps are danger zones and quick guarantee of meeting the devil of your nightmares. No dating sites no matter what
There’s a term for this. I’ve heard it called “try sexual”.
Actually, it is called narcissism.
A gay guy was hitting on me once online. I said you realize I'm a female right. He said, honey I'm try sexual, I will try anything😲😂
@Notamemberof Theharem or "pansexual".
Quite a few sociopaths have been described this way on documentaries recently. I find myself saying to the TV/computer/phone screen "he's a Narcissist... it's about fuel.... they're addicted to fuel, and any source will do".
@@hgtudor-theultra a 🌹 by any other name...
@@tranquility9325 He was more like desperate.
My ex said he was bi sexual after I found 97 hardcore gay screenshots on his phone .... what kind of heterosexual guy has 97 pics like that !!! I’m sure he is a closet gay .... nothing wrong with being gay except if you are masquerading as a straight guy telling your woman you love her ..... makes me sick 😷
Ooohhhh so when he is with his gay best mate he is gay .... when he’s with me he’s straight lol 😂 I understand so much more thank you
The narcissist I was with “ did not like women on top and I was special because he didn’t mind it with me” lol. True story.
All they say is hq BS
Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this made me lol
Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this made me lol
That’s all part of their game to make you feel like your more special than anyone else they have been with. Trust me .
Yup he was gay......
I suspect my ex is a covert narcissist. I have a question. Whenever we would have sex and she climaxed she would get furious with me, almost indignant. She would actively resist having the climax many times, literally push it down, hold it back, and I never understood why. Why is that? Does it have something to do with her loss of control?
I first encountered my narc on a Houston chatline. I had been talking on that chatline for years, but the first time I heard his voice, I thought he sounded incredibly sexy, polite, articulate, and Charismatic. I had to message him first, but he responded. When I listened to his characteristics, it said he was looking for a couple for sex. I didn't like that, but I found his other characteristics irresistible. We started talking every day, and he love bombed me, so I fell in love. But, it wasn't long before he started telling me he wanted me to find other women for him as well. I refused, and he threw a major tantrum. After that, I told him he needed to start going to church. He did, and found a woman there. He said he wanted both of us. I again refused. After that, he started telling me every time he had sex with a woman. He wanted to tell me every detail. We talked for years, but never met in person. Things got worse and worse. Finally moved in with another man, even though women find him very attractive. I finally confronted him about his homosexual leanings, but he refused to admit it. I think he is bisexual or homosexual. He had been married and had had sex with many women. I finally realized he wanted me for friendship and to control. He had no sexual desire for me.
It hurts😭! Imagine a person you feel for to ask you get a woman for him 😭😭😭
liar liar 🤥 Thank god you were just a distraction
"We talked for years but never met."
"When I first met him he was upfront looking for couple sex."
Then I fell in love with him anyway and he treated me badly.
Are you serious sis?
No empathy for you. Your comment is an insult for those of us who actually experienced a "narc".
Wait so you two never actually date? You were just flirty friends where he's that one annoying guy who like to boast about his sex prowess? It was one sided crush on your part, at that?
You can't really mad about him asking to get him hoes then, considering you're not even his partner. I mean, that's annoying that he's throwing a tantrum, but that's it, he's that one annoying friend that you should stay away from. It's kinda your fault for keeping up hope when you already know he's that hopeless. Like, you heard him unashamedly admitting about this, what did you even expect?
In this area I am narc immune because I am a (romantic) asexual.
I think this throws all the narcs I have dealt with....
Now this totally explains why he never cared about “him”. It’s “all about you”, and for once, that was actually true. Same sex? The gay men around him were simply confused by his entire vibe. I actually believe he’s truly straight, but he did like the attention from gay men. Even women have said oh I thought he was gay.
Hmm. Nope. Just well dressed, well kept together, always neat and clean. And it’s true he would flirt with a dishrag if it would flirt back.
So they don't actually like sex ,They just want fuel. Do they like having an organism or is that losing control.
They will enjoy the physical sensation of having an orgasm like anyone else, however, if holding back from that generates more fuel from the partner then they will hold back. If abstaining causes upset and generates negative fuel plus greater control, then they will abstain. The physical responses are secondary to the generation of fuel and the assertion of control.
They could care less about sex or the orgasm. That's why in relationships they will sex you like crazy and then lose their sexual interest as soon as they believe you have feelings for him.
Sex is only a ploy to manipulate others and to dominate ppls brains.
@@tranquility9325 That was said Perfectly....
I have absolute certainty that I am dealing with a narc. The only difference is that he wants sex quite often, even when he is in his silent times which he is often also. I came to realize that sex is self worship, the pleasure is everything to him. I could care less anymore. I had told him that it was the ONLY thing that we ever did as a couple. I also noticed that after having it and all his moans of pleasure that he would be grumpy as hell most of the times. He is truly an enigma. Sex seems to be very important to him so I am puzzled by some of these comments. I also am 100% sure that he is a passive aggressive covert narc!!!
@@tranquility9325 so true 👏🏽
Sex was like watching paint dry. The first time was the only time it seemed legitimate..Ewwwww my biggest regret !!!
What colour of paint?
Beige ? 😆
@@hgtudor-theultra 😆
@@MsEm-xr8ns not 30 shades of grey???😂😴🛌
@@hgtudor-theultra 🤣
Please, I would so appreciate a video on incest and the narcissist. I’m a survivor of this abuse from covert narcissist father. Is this addressed in your book about Sex and the Narcissist? Thank you.
My ex narc boyfriend was obsessed sexually with his mother, grandmother and daughter! It’s definitely in some of them 🤮
My ex narc called everyone and everything "gay". Maybe it was all an act?🤔
Yes!! I support gays and trans and he hated it. Was always about how disgusting it is. Found out he had trans ppl on dating apps.
@@livvielocke9137 yes, I always wondered that after I acquired more knowledge. I have a gay niece and nephew and he was always saying stuff, but now it does make me wonder. He very well could be bisexual if it's all about fuel.
@1991windsor perhaps he was using it as an insult as some people use "gay" not to mean homosexual but something which is lame or a bit rubbish.
@@hgtudor-theultra thanks HG, that could be true, as well.
Check his I pad lol
He criticised me for being too experienced in bed (haha) complained that I like it "rough". The irony is, my replacement displays behaviour of a dominatrix.
My father pretended to not be homosexual because of the strict religion he was in. I think he was a middle mid range angel with a dirty face.
Mine had a male best friend whom i believe was his lover. They both were hyper sexual woman haters.
Mirroring sexual preferences also gives the narc something to later withdraw during devaluation. Any quirks and nuances that form a particular persons tastes or desires are stripped right back to the basics. One example of this would be “I don’t want to do that now that we are married”. The narc is triangulating the event of marriage with the appliance and covering the shifting sands with what seems to be a gesture of integrity and purity. It’s a hard dot to connect for an empathic individual without the necessary ground work and can be explained and resolved as something well meaning.
I’m starting to get suspicious that HG is the narcissist I was entangled with... 😎
No, that was The Mad Hatter, not me.
Maybe a clone...
@@hgtudor-theultra lol good one
Lol
My ex used to triangulate me with his best friend . I think they had a crush on each other but because they are big bad military guys they can’t live it out loud 😂
“Flick of the wrist BEN 10” -Ayam JC. He is a shape shifter just like he said. Even when it comes to his sexuality.
Are most male narcissist’s gay or bi as they are misogynists?? Thx HG. The majority ???
Oh yes
I have the exact same question! THANK YOU!
Thoroughly engrossing topic HG.
Thank you!
I Enjoy your videos, you are education me a lot about yourself and other Narcisistic people.
Thank you 👍🤗🥰
Take care about yourself
Disgustingly enlightening. Thanks HG.
Good morning!
Thank you for all you do.
You are welcome Gigatt.
👏👏👏
Our sex life was pretty abysmal which was so confusing to me. He said He had been with hundreds of people but said all but 3 were one time things. He was so lazy and just laid there and just had no emotion the whole time. It was so creepy like just a blank stare. But then he followed me up with someone he has an open relationship with. He just constantly needs someone new I guess.
In my 1st marriage we were really in love. There was intimate sex, combined with love, fantastic sex!! In this next relationship with my narc there wasn't any intimacy. I would question him why don't you want to make love? He'd say it's too much work. LMAO. It takes me 3 minutes tops of foreplay and I will be done. Is that too much work? O....k....we hardly ever had sex. Maybe a hundred times in 20 years?!!!
What a crazy hard life these people put themselves through. I'm so glad I'm a normie who doesn't have to work so hard to accept myself the way I am.
What a pitch you have for that video. Natural salesman.
👏👏👏
My ex married a man and had 3 kids with him and said she hated having sex with him and had to be drunk as well. The last kid (a supposed mistake) she f@*ked him when they'd already broken up. Then she went with a woman (who she kept telling me was a narcissist) Now I've recently been told that she just wants to be with anyone 🤔 A true narc and her relationship with alcohol was more important than any good and loving relationship 😳 I've learned my lesson now
Reminds me of Philip Schofield.. Pretending to be straight when he was a secret gay narc.
This is not really my experience with my ex mid-narc. He was quite set in his ways and told me from the beginning what he liked. He did like being dominant and pushing boundaries, but he never dared become abusive during the 1.5 years I was with him.
I think mine was bisexual but he didn’t know it. Mine was overwhelming boring in bed.
That's because he wanted you to entertain him by doing all the work! Lol
Snap..
Mine too
Hahahahaha...that’s what the ex gf of my ex said! He’s boring and has a ED problem. Relationship with me is LDR, so I was safe 😂
@@shellybailey7762 no, he’s very controlling, won’t even want to get his butt touch! 😂😂😂 and won’t have sex during daytime.
a big thank you for the insights of your most deepest motives and thoughts. I have purged today my whole life has been filled with the likes of your vampire energies. I now know how to switch off and for that I'm internally grateful. peace x
H.g tudor can i ask why my ex narc told me he was impotent ? He was a drug user which can cause this i do know, but it never added up...the sex just got less and less, and i know he was capable, apparently his ex who he has children with is gay, but she was in a new relationship with a man and pregnant..he told me she used to cheat on him with women???? None of it made scene 😬
Nothing they say makes sense hun xx
@@nellsmith9721 🤣🤣🤣
The way they are is twisted and I would compare it to a 👿helper.👺
The pictures I discovered on my pc after I moved...he is a total deviant...OMG...
My ex narcissist boyfriend spent 37 years in prison I often wondered if he has been with a man during his time in prison It's questionable. If so he will never tell anyone. 🤔
Ask him if anybody ever slipped in the shower.
Rhonda, I've heard people talk about men being "gay for the stay" while they're inmates.
I wondered if this meant that they were Ns incarcerated and desperate for fuel.
@@caroliner2029 good point 👌 I agree.
Yes, he has. He was on top. The bottom is associated with "gay". Top is associated with releasing ones testosterone in a tight hole because toilet paper rolls don't have a base. Real talk.
Im pretty sure the only reason the last one was into me was because he felt involvement with me would impress the people around us. Privately yeah, I think he was just mirroring the shit out of me. Seemed to effortlessly check off several of my biggest "quirks".
How is what you have discussed here be translated into autogynophelia?
Run into a panty pretender?
My first experience resulted in my:
"I've been looking for that, you assh*le! It has a matching cover-up"
He could have waxed first to save my eyes. Dirty girl.
My ex is text book mid range. One time I tried the restraints on him and he had a total meltdown panic attack. The loss of control made him crazy. He couldn’t breathe (and not because he was getting gagged 🤣). Very interesting reaction. He told me when I met him he was a chameleon. Into a lot of control type fetishes and kinks. Very pushy too. Plus he liked to use toys on himself.
Disgusting
Just ordered your book. Very much looking forward to reading it
Thank you for doing so, you will be enlightened
I'd love to hear about D/s relationship and BDSM lifestyles and narcissism.
Me too. My current BF and I started our relationship as D/s but either I did something or he changed his mind after about 3 years. I think he got bored with me or got offended when I safeworded during a scene during which he had been drinking and I didn’t realize it. I see all the signs of him being a narcissist when it comes to sex, and the fact he’s told me he’s bi. Makes perfect sense to me know.
Are There Any Real True Men or Women Out Here Now Days?👫
All is for control and fuel.
Indeed, the two most important parts of The Prime Aims.
Cliff notes for the entire manual for narcs...
Thanks so much for the video it's very helpful.
You’re welcome
This video hurts. Sex is the reason I can't let her go. I know I need to, but it is so hard. She discards then returns over and over and over again. She lets me execute every sexual fantasy I have and I am stuck. I have tried to leave and as soon as she hoovers, she hoovers with sex. Every time...
Played a huge role in me staying for way too long too. However, I can tell you, once you leave and find someone who actually reciprocates deep emotional feelings you'll see her for the narc loser she is and will not even think the sex was good. Also I'd look at why you need it so much, could be a key to your freedom.
This answered so many questions
I am pleased it did. The book "Sex and the Narcissist" will answer even more.
For me too thank you
Jesus what have I been jumping into bed with 😔
:-(
Jesus won't answer, but I will - if this video resonated, there's a good chance that person is a narcissist.
A cold car that hadn't ever been started... Even adding fuel it won't start without the spark.
Yourself. Minus the emotions
@@bobka1122 what a great answer!
Hi from Sal great video thx hun 😊⭐️🇬🇧
Are vampires,sucubi,incubi, and sirens an allegory for narcissists ? 🤔🤔🤔
They like to call it pansexual. Some of the narcs that are open about it anyways.🙄
Pansexuality is a real thing. Not sure if you're saying that it is or isn't though...
@@HexagonSun990 The old term is whore
Closets, I have been with a few
@God do you believe you are god? haha, hilarious
I don't think we have the same definition or perception as to what "control" of another person is. Or how eliciting a "normal" emotional response from another is "fuel". Good video though- I sensed he was a fruit.
I think what he means is from a narcissist perspective. Because for them none of it’s honest. They are calculating how to get a certain response with you. They’re not actually having an honest interaction with you. So if you knew a guy had no emotions but was being fake and saying how much he loves you, you would certainly walk away.
I also didn't quite get the word 'control' when he described the narc doing things that the victim requested. I substituted the word 'manipulate' instead of 'control' and it made more sense.
More on them being incest and have ED too?! Just wow. Omgggg
My ex was such a sex chameleon that I haven’t found her for years when it came to sex!
I appreciate the humor HG
HG, Is it possible for a narcissist to be a racist?
TIA
If it achieves the prime aims YES
@@mrsmallpinky9041 no questions are stupid in this environment
Yes it is possible and many narcissists are racist. I am not. I do not have any prejudices as I hate everybody equally.
@@hgtudor-theultra I'm just trying to get thru knowing or not if my narc purposely had biracial children knowing we would have a struggle in life. Thank you to those who love all and don't see color. 💟
"...I have no prejudices as I hate everyone equally" funny. And funny people like that too.
Very interesting ..it explains a lot. I had a frank discussion with my male exes female partner after my discard...
I said he was extremely dominating with me in the bedroom ...dragging me out of bed ..pushing me down on my knees...in the middle of the night. She said he wasn't like that with her and possibly he was punishing me and dominating me that way because she had left him..
When i was with him i noticed how he would freeze up if my hand went near his buttocks...
In the discard phase ..when of course i didn't know i was being discarded..i was doing a particular sexual act and he commented .."you are so good at that' ...saying it as a comparison ...he also made a really wierd and rude comment about my anatomy...I asked if that was in comparison to everyone else he had slept with and he said 'yes'...i found his personal insult re comment bizarre. As it was not true and rather than be hurt in my feelings ..i inwardly laughed at the incongruence. I was discarded a couple of weeks later. 4 weeks prior he had asked me to marry him.
I always wondered how he stayed so fit and now i know it was with all his bedroom olympics with me and whoever else...
Which part of your anatomy?
What I don't get is.... you can't fully control others! You can't control their thoughts and you can't really know what others are thinking? With mine, I was planning on leaving for years, he hadn't got a clue. I played 'the game', for years. It all came to an end, when the time was right for me to go. When I had support from others, a career, a financial income, when his behaviour became unbearable. He never really controlled me. I would agree that I would behave in a way that he wanted, through fear. But deep down, because I hated him, it wasn't true control, it was fear. If that makes sense? My mind wasn't controlled. I had accepted my fate for years, and just bided my time. Narcs underestimate others, that's their downfall! I had warned him, not to underestimate me, he never listened. It ended in a messy divorce and I laugh every day, knowing that he 'lost' control of me. Does that displease him? I hope so. If that was his main aim, then ,he failed! He's a failure and most narcs are failures if they think they control other people's minds, fully. Jokes on them! Thanks for your insight, it has made me realise this. I suppose, they don't understand that love is more powerful than anything. And they don't have any love or received any, so in fact they are powerless. No love, no power. I can say that I have so much love, from and for my children and grandchild. My ex narc husband has nothing! Who's the more powerful one? Me. He's a loser, he'll never be happy with his, fat wife (lol). I feel sorry for her, he's just using her for her money. And he'll never change, so he must be a total nasty, unhelpful, lying, weirdo towards her? What sort of person, has no contact with their own children? I'm lost for words, when it comes to him. He owes our children so much, yet refuses to even contact them. Mind you, if he did contact any of them, they would berate him, so much. He probably realises that and 2 of them are fully grown men now, with more integrity and nerve than he will ever have. So he'd probably be scared of them? And my daughter would have a lot to say to him. He'd be squished, metaphorically speaking.
Also, they obviously don't realise that sex is only a very small part of any relationship. There is so much more to any relationship. If they deny sex, and there's no much more to the relationship, then eventually, they'll lose that relationship. So it's self destruction. I found that narcs are self destructive, their behaviour pushes people away from them, losing them the control, they so desire. Once a victim realises that,.normal people don't try to tare others down, then gaslight them etc, the game is over. Once the victim realises that love, doesn't involve devaluing someone, again the game is over. They're pretty stupid really. How to lose someone's who loves you, gaslight and devalue them! Self destructive behaviour. Just for control!? Not very clever. I suppose, because they can't love, it's their way of survival? Not a very good survival tactic. All you need is love, love is all powerful, love conquers all etc etc. Maybe they know that, and that's why they love bomb, but can't keep up the pretence?! In which case, they need to go and live on a remote island in the middle of nowhere, all together and leave the rest of us normal people alone!
Most selfish lover...it was all about him