They should have tried ethanol derived from sugar with the chocolate in the cake, A toxic cocktail like that would surely work. A chocolate-rum tainted cake would have surely had them rolling on the floor in agony!
"We will torture you for answers! Prisoner.A: Will the torture be physical or mental? You see physical torture is contra productive as we will say anything to make it stop and there's no way for you to know if what we're saying is true or not. Prisoner.B:or we'll enjoy it too much and then you're going to have another thing to deal with."
well.. it's more like "Never torture someone unless you know what hurts them." but eh, he gets points for intention. the second one is even more epic. feels like this one is actually possible in some distant future.
imagine if they gave them adrenaline, in some of the other stories like this adrenaline is considered highly toxic even in tiny doses, but humans produce it within their bodies, give a human a lil bit of adrenaline and they would likely start trying to break free and would be hard to stop
@@zyanidwarfare5634 I remember this one HFY were an alien ambassador described Adrenalines effects on a human as . It causes them to lose the ability to feel pain or fear.
they looked at our boldest reach out to the stars, a representation of our species as a whole, a culmination of years and years of study, research, and development, and said "wow it looks a bit like [equivalent of Dora the Explorer] teaching the importance of patience"
So reverse sweating hypothesis and nerd warning... Homeostasis, and capillary action. Their equivalent of sweat gland work like wood fibers and our hair. It takes in ambient moisture or gives it off depending on local humidity. That's why wood boards warp when not protected. I also know feathers as well as hair and nails do the same thing, and because keratin does the same at a cellular level, thats why your nails and hair are softer after a hot bath as well as why conditioners work on hair. So take typical cellular homeostasis processes, capilary pours and apply them to an arid species that only sees humidity or dew and little if any standing water and absorbing water through the skin in this manner makes sense. The rule of thumb in us and most other carbon based life is thats, "where water goes salt and sugar follow." Thats how those larger molecules pass the cell membrane to fuel our mitochondria, so it just stands to reason that chlorine would do the same to a primarily capillary action hydrating species. Highly water efficient and beneficial evolutionary trait to drink through your skin. Great in space, a desert world or low resource situation since dihydrogenmonoxide is about 8.3lb per gallon (or 1kg per liter). But in this case I would say it's like amphibians (frogs and salimanders), mollusks (clams etc) and gastropods (slugs and snails). It leaves one that is evolved in such a case, extremely susceptible to water soluable contaminations. For example, like say H2SO4, hydrofloric acid or Ca(CIO)2, pool chlorine or even basic NaCl salt. Lol so most probably our big bird buddy is some form of feathered reptile that gets its liquid water requirements from its food, like desert animals, and trough osmosis like trees and the genera listed above. Or it's a sapient predatory plant species that looks like a bird and doesnt use roots or photosynthesis but still uses plant like capilary action. OR a combination of all of the above. Though I'm just spitballing here.
Aw, beautiful. Comments like this make my day. Some of that I knew (but maybe forgotten), some I might figure out based on what I know, & some I had no idea. Add a so much to the stories. Thank you.
I'm love your comment I didn't know any of that stuff and greatly enjoy going though the comments to find out if the random might be impossible thing (reverse sweating???!) is actually possible or has already been done by x on earth.
I always appreciate someone pouring their knowledge into a comment to help others understand. Sometimes even adjust how to view the thing that you just watched or read. Even if said comments are walls of text. I appreciate the explanation of how hair conditioner works the way it does.
Story 2: so, someone found the Voyager probe and decided to backtrack to where it came from and they discovered that humans decided to use gravity propulsion, aka slingshot, to get our letter of hopes and dreams outside our “tower of isolation”
Theobromine (the chemical found in cocoa that’s toxic to most carnivores) is seriously no joke. My dog found and tore into a bag of dark chocolate chips that were just a little too low. He ate half a pound. Since theobromine is a stimulant, he went through what a human might endure if he got caffeine poisoning. Severe tremors, vomiting, nervousness, elevated heart rate. Me and my brother stayed up all night with him to keep him company. We both thought he was going to die, but I think having us there gave him the strength to pull through. So the idea that the aliens would execute the captives with chocolate is actually really sadistic.
@@mcarrowtime7095 maybe they thought it'd be too late for that already and/or had none around (-> farm etc.). Or they didn't know better but I think without a good reason or due to your location you'd always try to get your dog to the vet
Seriously, the main reason why we don't get poisoned by theobromine when we eat chocolate is because we're so big and chocolate contains relatively little theobromine. The other significant reason why theobromine doesn't poison us is because we're able to process it out of our systems before enough can accumulate to badly affect us. And just in case anyone didn't know, there is special animal chocolate which has all or nearly all the theobromine removed so that it's safe to use as a treat for small animals.
imagine being a combat crew on a space-ship you loose a fight you get captured (scuttling your ship in the process because only an idiot leaves valuable equipment complete with manuals available for the enemy to capture and use) your captain is separated from you and you are shunted into a cell in groups of 10 with armed guards outside. you get dropped in a particularly pungent swimming pool (a BATH, you haven't had a proper bath in months far too wasteful of vital ship resources), get fed chocolate cake (avian enemy, egg based food. . . . screw it it's gods damned CHOCOLATE! i'm sure if we survive this the scientists will do what they want for a while but that's tomorrows problem). Then your captain gets put back in with you and he's been crying? no sign of injury, face undamaged, a little shakey but what's with that absurd grin he can't get rid of?
That reminds me of how an Enigma machine and all of its code books were captured from a German submarine during WWII. There was a movie made about that, but the only things which the movie got right were: 1. They captured an Enigma machine and code books and; 2. They captured them from a submarine. Everything else in the movie was pretty much fiction. (The submarine had been badly damaged in an attack and its captain expected it to sink so he and his crew abandoned it and took to inflatable boats. It didn't sink and was later boarded by a crew from an allied warship. The captain should have taken the code books with him and dropped them overboard. They were printed with water-soluble ink for just such an occasion.)
@@johnmullholand2044 you psych0, I bet you'd try to boil them in a jacuzi and break ther psyche with a relaxing joint afterwards wouldn't you? edit: lmao, yt flagged the coment due to the lack of leet-speech. They can reccomend videos good enough to keep you interested for hours but have no AI to check for a number in the word...
@@AgroSquerril Think you missed and got me by mistake. I have yet to have the honor of having you read anything of mine. Could have something to do with never having posted any... I should look into changing that..
story 1: I actually saw a comic with this exact same premise just days ago that was drawn by baalbuddy. Funny xeno things think chlorine is deadly when it's chemically mixed with water!
You could also mix that chlorine with a highly reactive metal that burns when it comes into contact with water, grind up that poison, put it on top of some sliced and fried roots of a highly poisonous plant. They will never recover from poison on poison as food.
@@dikkie1000 Yea. Kinda mond blowing when you think about it. Chlorine is deadly. Sodium is deadly. Put them together and we need it to live. Two things you really want to keep away from fire. Hydrogen and oxygen. What do we throw on fires? Hydrogen di oxide... The universe loves irony.
...first story was amusing and all, but the author clearly has no idea what it is in chocolate that actually makes it lethal to many species. Hint: It isn't the sugar content.
@@voidtraveller8667 Nope, nope, and nope. The sugar and the dairy proteins are only lethal if taken in excess for extended periods of time. And it's not the caffeine because chocolate contains no caffeine. It does, however, contain theobromine, a very close chemical cousin to caffeine that has near-identical effects on most living organisms. It also happens to be what makes chocolate lethal to dogs, cats, horses, and a number of other animals. Theobromine's effects on the heart are far stronger than the one caffeine has, to the point that for such sensitive animals, it's similar to a chemically-induced heart attack. A particularly bad case of theobromine poisoning can even cause the creature's heart to very literally explode.
@@DaZebraffe well, according to the FDA, cocoa solids contain both caffeine and theobromine, with the USDA stating Dark chocolate has ~12 milligrams of caffeine per ounce, around 8 for milk chocolate. Sugar and any proteins can be deadly depending on a given organism's biology. its more than possible an organism outside of earth's biosphere could have adverse reactions to them. That said, i actually forgot Theobromine was even a thing, so there's that. Also not mentioning white chocolate, because in all honesty it's more like chocolate flavored sugar/ icing than actual chocolate.
The part of chocolate that is poisonous to cats and dogs is a molecule called theobromine. It’s closely related to caffeine and works in pretty much the same way but with fewer side effects, so long as your liver and kidneys are working well.
Crew member: *takes bite of the "poisoned" cake* Crew member: *dramatic, near frightened face with perfectly still body to match, before continuing* "THIS SHIT BUSSIN!"
Those aliens better count their lucky stars that they weren't/ they didn't have a mind reader because good god the human imagination can be downright scary If an evil alien began reading my mind I'll give them a front row seat in World War 1 history lesson safe to say he would probably be traumatised beyond any sense of the word or rendered catatonic with horror Because who the hell else but us would even consider let alone use the idea of firing pressurised canisters full of deadly gas was a good idea Don't even get me started on flamethrowers
“Hey you got a drink? Can’t have a pool party without a drink” The aliens utterly horrified by what there seeing a race casually swinging in essentially acid to them
Homeostasis, and capillary action. Their gland work like wood, takes in ambient moisture or gives it off depending on local humidity. That's why wood boards warp when not protected. I know feathers do the same thing because keratin does the same at a cellular level, thats why your nails are softer after a hot bath. So take typical cellular processes, apply them to an arid species that only sees humidity or dew and little if any standing water and absorbing water through the skin in this manner makes sense. The rule of thumb in us is where water goes salt and sugar follow, thats how those large molecules pass the cell membrane to fuel us, so it stands to reason that chlorine would do the same to a capillary action hydrating species. Highly water efficient to drink through your skin... but like amphibians, leaves one extremely susceptible to water born contamination like say H2SO4, hydrofloric acid or Ca(CIO)2, pool chlorine or even basic NaCl salt. Lol
Considering how many things we enjoy for food and drink that are technically poisonous or acidic this is just funny. Poor birds. The second story....these guys have interstellar space flight and FTL....and they can't get a good look at the inner part of the solar system? We're directly imagining forming star systems from hundreds and thousands of lightyears away, and can detect planets close to their sun from here, with barely any space capability at all. How does that work out?
In ISRO's MOM( Mars Orbital Mission ) because our budget wasn't much so it was made small and it can't carry much fuel . That's why slingshot method was used to shot it toward it. Our rockets wasn't powerful to send it directly.
Oh my Diety, you are dropping Humans in Lightly Chlorinated Water! You Fiends, how can you be so cruel! Just wait until the fleet hears about your torture of my men! They will be rushing to be captured and tortured by you! Well I mean, that is if you win the battle that is! Now we shall force you at Gunpoint, To Eat The Deadliest Poison In The Known Galaxy, The Chocolate Cake! Mu, Ah, Ha, Ha!
@@johnmullholand2044 And don't force us to eat your poisonous concoction of yeast-risen dough, spice-laden tomato sauce, fermented secretions of your beovanes, and meat slices flavored slightly with capsaicin! The terror! Whatever shall we do?
Depending on how long the probe was out there, micro meteoroids, space dust and such might've made it illegible, and scratched the record beyond playability. Like V'ger from Star Trek Motion Picture.
The same can be said for many humans. Not unreasonable to think others could have the same issues. Kinda leaves the question of intelligent life open....
It was certainly a portal to failure. Silly avians. They used the wrong neurotoxin. Maybe instead they should have made a neat gun, for the people who are still alive.
![Humans Are Space Orcs [Another Binge Compilation]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RwUc1WzKYjE/mqdefault.jpg)
They should have tried ethanol derived from sugar with the chocolate in the cake, A toxic cocktail like that would surely work. A chocolate-rum tainted cake would have surely had them rolling on the floor in agony!
sounds about right
Yea, the next day..
Oh No!
I'm so full... just one more bite
...
Ok two.
@@isaacvincent8443, You Can Do It Bruce!
Come On Brucie! You Can Do It!
After eating too much, perhaps.
ROTFLMFAO i just realised Garl'not LITERALLY threatened the captain with a good time
:)
Genius
Oh no…how horrible! *were and when is it btw?*
Some downtime in a swimming pool and then forced to eat a sweeter version of a chocolate cake, all with your friends? Not a bad off day if you ask me
"Enemy dreadnought targeted Captain."
"Fire gumdrop cannons and peppermint casters now!"
lol
@@AgroSquerril And now, BRING THE COMFY CHAIR!
@@Amyante and the pistachios!
THROW THE CHEESE!
@@TarsonTalon *pap* *pap* *pap* *ping* *pap* *ping* *pap*
yay
"We will torture you for answers! Prisoner.A: Will the torture be physical or mental?
You see physical torture is contra productive as we will say anything to make it stop and there's no way for you to know if what we're saying is true or not. Prisoner.B:or we'll enjoy it too much and then you're going to have another thing to deal with."
Ah a man of culture i love the helluva boss reference
@@calliatatsu4455 yes
Torturer 1: Whaddo yous mean?
@@RaulDiaz-mp8ms ""Ah you're stupid huh? I can work with stupid daddy like'y dummy.""
Harder daddy lol
well.. it's more like "Never torture someone unless you know what hurts them." but eh, he gets points for intention.
the second one is even more epic. feels like this one is actually possible in some distant future.
Alien finding probe be leik: "Huh...neat."
*Alien spanks human *
Human: harder! (daddy)
Alien: what?
Human: what?
If you put ricin in the cake that tast like chocolate for humans
I half expected they were going to torture him with "the comfy chair"
A chair so soft, you will get no traction and be trapped... FOREVER!
@@Hopalongtom oh no! Please sir not the comfy chair!
Aka: "the chair of reasonable comfort"
lol
Massage chair
A nice dip in the pool and then chocolate frosting on sponge cake, sounds like a summer birthday party 🥳🎉 woohoo! ROFL silly xenos
wohooo parrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttttt
Sounds like you're not a parent. Children's birthday parties can be quite torturous.
@@d3m0n54in7 I am the father of a 9 1/2 year old girl and a 2 1/2 year old girl, plus plenty of cousins whose kids have kids LoL
Well, at least they didn't try to burn the humans with flaming candles on top of the cake.
Imo if the torture you're planning doesn't work the second time, move to dismemberment.
This is why you research the species you're at war with, this shit might happen. Imagine if they had tried to make them eat jalapenos or drink coffee
all round good time
imagine if they gave them adrenaline, in some of the other stories like this adrenaline is considered highly toxic even in tiny doses, but humans produce it within their bodies, give a human a lil bit of adrenaline and they would likely start trying to break free and would be hard to stop
@@zyanidwarfare5634 I remember this one HFY were an alien ambassador described Adrenalines effects on a human as .
It causes them to lose the ability to feel pain or fear.
@@voodoovince8001 which one
@@voodoovince8001 yes which story I must find it?
So basically, the second story is aliens finding a primitive probe, and after realizing how efficient its trajectory of travel was, went "Huh...neat."
They likely found one of the Voyager probes.
they looked at our boldest reach out to the stars, a representation of our species as a whole, a culmination of years and years of study, research, and development, and said "wow it looks a bit like [equivalent of Dora the Explorer] teaching the importance of patience"
For NASA and other space focused organisations Jupiter isn't just a gas giant but is also a slingshot.
i... yea thats true
Any gravity well is just a sling waiting to be used properly.
Good lord. I will never be able to think about playing with a sling shot the same again..
And for people researching the early universe its a shield
@@nullpoint3346 Any gravity well is just a sling waiting to be shot
So reverse sweating hypothesis and nerd warning...
Homeostasis, and capillary action. Their equivalent of sweat gland work like wood fibers and our hair. It takes in ambient moisture or gives it off depending on local humidity. That's why wood boards warp when not protected. I also know feathers as well as hair and nails do the same thing, and because keratin does the same at a cellular level, thats why your nails and hair are softer after a hot bath as well as why conditioners work on hair. So take typical cellular homeostasis processes, capilary pours and apply them to an arid species that only sees humidity or dew and little if any standing water and absorbing water through the skin in this manner makes sense. The rule of thumb in us and most other carbon based life is thats, "where water goes salt and sugar follow." Thats how those larger molecules pass the cell membrane to fuel our mitochondria, so it just stands to reason that chlorine would do the same to a primarily capillary action hydrating species. Highly water efficient and beneficial evolutionary trait to drink through your skin. Great in space, a desert world or low resource situation since dihydrogenmonoxide is about 8.3lb per gallon (or 1kg per liter). But in this case I would say it's like amphibians (frogs and salimanders), mollusks (clams etc) and gastropods (slugs and snails). It leaves one that is evolved in such a case, extremely susceptible to water soluable contaminations. For example, like say H2SO4, hydrofloric acid or Ca(CIO)2, pool chlorine or even basic NaCl salt. Lol so most probably our big bird buddy is some form of feathered reptile that gets its liquid water requirements from its food, like desert animals, and trough osmosis like trees and the genera listed above. Or it's a sapient predatory plant species that looks like a bird and doesnt use roots or photosynthesis but still uses plant like capilary action. OR a combination of all of the above. Though I'm just spitballing here.
Aw, beautiful. Comments like this make my day. Some of that I knew (but maybe forgotten), some I might figure out based on what I know, & some I had no idea. Add a so much to the stories.
Thank you.
I'm love your comment I didn't know any of that stuff and greatly enjoy going though the comments to find out if the random might be impossible thing (reverse sweating???!) is actually possible or has already been done by x on earth.
I have no idea if this is accurate or not, but I am impressed.
I always appreciate someone pouring their knowledge into a comment to help others understand. Sometimes even adjust how to view the thing that you just watched or read.
Even if said comments are walls of text.
I appreciate the explanation of how hair conditioner works the way it does.
Story 2: so, someone found the Voyager probe and decided to backtrack to where it came from and they discovered that humans decided to use gravity propulsion, aka slingshot, to get our letter of hopes and dreams outside our “tower of isolation”
Humans be subtly flexing their knowledge of orbital mechanics...
Just wait till they find New Horizons screaming out of our system
After playing KSP I can't ignore when ships in sci-fi shows burn their engines in the wrong dirrection anymore.
@@dynamicworlds1 lmao yea
Human throw rock around other rock, which skip to next rock.
Theobromine (the chemical found in cocoa that’s toxic to most carnivores) is seriously no joke.
My dog found and tore into a bag of dark chocolate chips that were just a little too low. He ate half a pound. Since theobromine is a stimulant, he went through what a human might endure if he got caffeine poisoning. Severe tremors, vomiting, nervousness, elevated heart rate. Me and my brother stayed up all night with him to keep him company. We both thought he was going to die, but I think having us there gave him the strength to pull through.
So the idea that the aliens would execute the captives with chocolate is actually really sadistic.
Why didn’t you get the dogs stomach pumped, or at least gone to the vet for some charcoal tablet equivalent
@@mcarrowtime7095 maybe they thought it'd be too late for that already and/or had none around (-> farm etc.). Or they didn't know better but I think without a good reason or due to your location you'd always try to get your dog to the vet
Seriously, the main reason why we don't get poisoned by theobromine when we eat chocolate is because we're so big and chocolate contains relatively little theobromine. The other significant reason why theobromine doesn't poison us is because we're able to process it out of our systems before enough can accumulate to badly affect us.
And just in case anyone didn't know, there is special animal chocolate which has all or nearly all the theobromine removed so that it's safe to use as a treat for small animals.
imagine being a combat crew on a space-ship
you loose a fight
you get captured (scuttling your ship in the process because only an idiot leaves valuable equipment complete with manuals available for the enemy to capture and use)
your captain is separated from you and you are shunted into a cell in groups of 10 with armed guards outside.
you get dropped in a particularly pungent swimming pool (a BATH, you haven't had a proper bath in months far too wasteful of vital ship resources), get fed chocolate cake (avian enemy, egg based food. . . . screw it it's gods damned CHOCOLATE! i'm sure if we survive this the scientists will do what they want for a while but that's tomorrows problem).
Then your captain gets put back in with you and he's been crying? no sign of injury, face undamaged, a little shakey but what's with that absurd grin he can't get rid of?
That reminds me of how an Enigma machine and all of its code books were captured from a German submarine during WWII. There was a movie made about that, but the only things which the movie got right were: 1. They captured an Enigma machine and code books and; 2. They captured them from a submarine. Everything else in the movie was pretty much fiction.
(The submarine had been badly damaged in an attack and its captain expected it to sink so he and his crew abandoned it and took to inflatable boats. It didn't sink and was later boarded by a crew from an allied warship. The captain should have taken the code books with him and dropped them overboard. They were printed with water-soluble ink for just such an occasion.)
if they think orbital mechanics are impressive wait till they see us skipping stones across a body of water.
lol
Or craft across an atmosphere.
Wow that first story somehow made me laugh so hard!
:)
All they were lacking was some coffee to wash it down with, and a cigarette to smoke afterwards!
@@johnmullholand2044 you psych0, I bet you'd try to boil them in a jacuzi and break ther psyche with a relaxing joint afterwards wouldn't you?
edit: lmao, yt flagged the coment due to the lack of leet-speech. They can reccomend videos good enough to keep you interested for hours but have no AI to check for a number in the word...
Thanks for narrating my story, Elegant Trajectories. It was a fun story to write
Thank you for putting it out there for him to narrate. Seems to me, this is most likely to be how first contact will happen.
Thank you for the permission
@@AgroSquerril Think you missed and got me by mistake. I have yet to have the honor of having you read anything of mine. Could have something to do with never having posted any... I should look into changing that..
@@mstrfool yup was meant for the OP
No one expects the Avian Inquisition!
Fetch... The comfy chair!!
It's best for one's interrogation subjects to be comfortable, useful answers come out easier.
When you don't understand that the pool party was supposed to be a torture session and laugh at the nice joke
story 1: I actually saw a comic with this exact same premise just days ago that was drawn by baalbuddy. Funny xeno things think chlorine is deadly when it's chemically mixed with water!
interesting
You could also mix that chlorine with a highly reactive metal that burns when it comes into contact with water, grind up that poison, put it on top of some sliced and fried roots of a highly poisonous plant.
They will never recover from poison on poison as food.
@@dikkie1000 Sodium?
@@dikkie1000 I'm sure that wouldn't taste all that nice. But sounds edible enough to me!
@@dikkie1000 Yea. Kinda mond blowing when you think about it. Chlorine is deadly. Sodium is deadly. Put them together and we need it to live. Two things you really want to keep away from fire. Hydrogen and oxygen. What do we throw on fires? Hydrogen di oxide... The universe loves irony.
For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!
...first story was amusing and all, but the author clearly has no idea what it is in chocolate that actually makes it lethal to many species. Hint: It isn't the sugar content.
Sugar, caffeine, various proteins from dairy depending on its maker.
Pretty sure the sugar content was more of a side note, like “yay sweeter chocolate!”
@@voidtraveller8667 Nope, nope, and nope. The sugar and the dairy proteins are only lethal if taken in excess for extended periods of time. And it's not the caffeine because chocolate contains no caffeine. It does, however, contain theobromine, a very close chemical cousin to caffeine that has near-identical effects on most living organisms. It also happens to be what makes chocolate lethal to dogs, cats, horses, and a number of other animals. Theobromine's effects on the heart are far stronger than the one caffeine has, to the point that for such sensitive animals, it's similar to a chemically-induced heart attack. A particularly bad case of theobromine poisoning can even cause the creature's heart to very literally explode.
@@brianl8481 That's possible, I suppose.
@@DaZebraffe well, according to the FDA, cocoa solids contain both caffeine and theobromine, with the USDA stating Dark chocolate has ~12 milligrams of caffeine per ounce, around 8 for milk chocolate.
Sugar and any proteins can be deadly depending on a given organism's biology. its more than possible an organism outside of earth's biosphere could have adverse reactions to them.
That said, i actually forgot Theobromine was even a thing, so there's that.
Also not mentioning white chocolate, because in all honesty it's more like chocolate flavored sugar/ icing than actual chocolate.
The part of chocolate that is poisonous to cats and dogs is a molecule called theobromine. It’s closely related to caffeine and works in pretty much the same way but with fewer side effects, so long as your liver and kidneys are working well.
Hey now, I've been tortured sometimes going to pool parties too. Don't underestimate how torturous a bad pool party is
Crew member: *takes bite of the "poisoned" cake*
Crew member: *dramatic, near frightened face with perfectly still body to match, before continuing* "THIS SHIT BUSSIN!"
Well at least they didn’t put pure chlorine gas in the pool or else the humans would have melted in chloric acid. :-(
that would be bad
I'm glad that torture was not used on me. I'm sensitive to the chlorine in a clean pool and chocolate gives me migraines.
First the swimming party; then, Death by Chocolate. (I wonder if they would later try poisoning by adding peanut butter to the chocolate.)
"If this is torture, chain me to the wall!"
cant eat cake like that.... also swimming gets a little tricky :)
@@AgroSquerril Seems I was a day late. And dang it, where did that dollar go..?
Thank the gods the birds did use the COMFY chair
Those aliens better count their lucky stars that they weren't/ they didn't have a mind reader because good god the human imagination can be downright scary
If an evil alien began reading my mind I'll give them a front row seat in World War 1 history lesson safe to say he would probably be traumatised beyond any sense of the word or rendered catatonic with horror
Because who the hell else but us would even consider let alone use the idea of firing pressurised canisters full of deadly gas was a good idea
Don't even get me started on flamethrowers
no you should give them a front row seat to some hardcore R34 of their species
@@michielwitteveen6676 Hay... Some things are just too evil.
@@mstrfool let's create an entirely new category of warcrime.
Now I can't help but think of Yugopotamians from Fairy Odd Parents.
Reverse sweating could work by cooling the outer layers in the tissue and could reduce the need to drink water as the body already been pulled in
This was part of the first space ork videos ive ever.
I thought this was going to be about how angry humans got if torture went to far. Did not expect what we got instead
the ole switch-a-roo
I choose to picture the Avion captain as the peacock from the Kung Fu Panda movie
A comment to appease the algorithm and help the channel.
Thank you Agro for 2 good readings.
a pleasure
I'm sorry but the torture one just made me think that the comfy chair.
“Hey you got a drink? Can’t have a pool party without a drink”
The aliens utterly horrified by what there seeing a race casually swinging in essentially acid to them
97% ethanol
That or moonshine.
Thank you for the reading
Swimming Pool and Chocolate Cake? Now that sounds like a fun "torture". Hahahaha
If anyone is wondering there is infact an short animated version of this.
Where?
@@mstrfool th-cam.com/video/nD6DG0MI1h0/w-d-xo.html
"Humans Are Weird: Interrogation Animatic"
LOL I'm pretty sure I saw a fan animated version of this.
How the hell would reverse sweating work?
Absorb water through your skin and eventually vomit water
@@logancowie Aquaman
Might be less of only absobring but a combination of absobring and exuding. Like snails, that's why salt works on snails so well.
@@modarkthemauler yeah that sounds about right.
Homeostasis, and capillary action. Their gland work like wood, takes in ambient moisture or gives it off depending on local humidity. That's why wood boards warp when not protected. I know feathers do the same thing because keratin does the same at a cellular level, thats why your nails are softer after a hot bath. So take typical cellular processes, apply them to an arid species that only sees humidity or dew and little if any standing water and absorbing water through the skin in this manner makes sense. The rule of thumb in us is where water goes salt and sugar follow, thats how those large molecules pass the cell membrane to fuel us, so it stands to reason that chlorine would do the same to a capillary action hydrating species. Highly water efficient to drink through your skin... but like amphibians, leaves one extremely susceptible to water born contamination like say H2SO4, hydrofloric acid or Ca(CIO)2, pool chlorine or even basic NaCl salt. Lol
Considering how many things we enjoy for food and drink that are technically poisonous or acidic this is just funny. Poor birds. The second story....these guys have interstellar space flight and FTL....and they can't get a good look at the inner part of the solar system? We're directly imagining forming star systems from hundreds and thousands of lightyears away, and can detect planets close to their sun from here, with barely any space capability at all. How does that work out?
Different tech progression and method possibly
Didn't need better till before they could go there and not need better.
@kuroryuu010 I hear a writer out there.
Let me guess. The next turture will be .... The Cushy Overstuffed Chair !!! Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition!!
In ISRO's MOM( Mars Orbital Mission ) because our budget wasn't much so it was made small and it can't carry much fuel . That's why slingshot method was used to shot it toward it. Our rockets wasn't powerful to send it directly.
Being unable to eat chocolate is the greatest of tortures.
#2 is really cool!
keeper going
Bro i just feel bad for the captain, he doesn't get to hangout with his crew swimming and eating cake ✊😔
lol
For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!
For the algorithm
Bless the Squerril
Bless the Author
OMG I think this is probably the best one so far I absolutely love this one. I love that the chocolate can kill them and chlorine.
#1 is Hilarious!!!
...yay!
That Yay
I love that second story
Oh my Diety, you are dropping Humans in Lightly Chlorinated Water!
You Fiends, how can you be so cruel!
Just wait until the fleet hears about your torture of my men!
They will be rushing to be captured and tortured by you!
Well I mean, that is if you win the battle that is!
Now we shall force you at Gunpoint, To Eat The Deadliest Poison In The Known Galaxy, The Chocolate Cake!
Mu, Ah, Ha, Ha!
NO, not the chocolate cake! BTW, whatever you do, don't force us to drink coffee, or force us to smoke tobacco! Oh, the horror! You monsters!
@@johnmullholand2044 And don't force us to eat your poisonous concoction of yeast-risen dough, spice-laden tomato sauce, fermented secretions of your beovanes, and meat slices flavored slightly with capsaicin! The terror! Whatever shall we do?
Too funny ... LMAO
A GREAT STORY, well told.
Thank you.
A pleasure
Death by chocolate...don't mind if I do
gonna need more and 1 cake
The "elegant Trajectories" story is just too short... :/
Where did they get chocolate from anyways?
neat
Well damn...the author of the first story has deleted his Reddit account.
Bummer...
the first story was like a parody of the subreddit
For the algorithm
For the algorithm
I knew this would be funny. I love hfy.
:)
FOR THE ALGORITHM
For the algorithm
Great story
:)
Please no, Don't torture me😁
Did they lose the gold plate with a map to our planet? Or the record with our lexicon and images?
Depending on how long the probe was out there, micro meteoroids, space dust and such might've made it illegible, and scratched the record beyond playability.
Like V'ger from Star Trek Motion Picture.
A comment for the Algorithm.
For the algorithm
To the chocolate as evil human see it as evil around swimsuit season
Don't torture humans. They only keep screaming "Harder daddy!"
a little bit of background info would really help so many aliens be more competent, or at least help then preserve their dignity
lol
The same can be said for many humans. Not unreasonable to think others could have the same issues. Kinda leaves the question of intelligent life open....
@@mstrfool that was an unwarrantedly accurate statement
@@henrypaleveda7760 Don't worry. I made-up for it on a different post. Half asleep and really biffed it. Now I can't find the dang thing to fix it.
@@mstrfool :)
👍👍
Oh I know this there's a animation like it
First story put me in mind of this,th-cam.com/video/Mf6csGvNYQU/w-d-xo.html
mmmm chocolate
nom nom
🍫🍫🍫🍫
Nice, i read this once!!!
Noice!!!
So was the cake a lie?
It was certainly a portal to failure.
Silly avians. They used the wrong neurotoxin.
Maybe instead they should have made a neat gun, for the people who are still alive.
words
replies
Reminds me of all the other stories where capsaicin (the stuff in fx. chili) is deadly to other species, so they try to "poison" humans food with it.
239th, 6 January 2024
First :)
nice
F.A.S.
For the algorithm
For the algorithm
For the algorithm
For the algorithm
For the algorithm
For the algorithm