No kids? No worries! Not a biological failure. | Kristen Sadler | TEDxNTU
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ค. 2016
- Not planning to get married or have kids aka not aspiring propagate your genetic material? Biologist Dr. Kristen Sadler argues that you may not be a biological failure. In this thought-provoking funny talk, She highlights prominent biological facts on reproduction and attraction. Concluding, why it is biologically 'okay' and not to feel bad if you don't get married or have kids.
Trained in life sciences, with a specialisation in biochemistry and immunology, her research areas have included vaccine and immunocontraceptive development and working with a diverse range of species, from viruses to parasitic worms to vertebrates.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Personally I don't care if I'm viewed as a biological failure, I just can't see myself being happy with having children.
HunterWolf wtf is wrong with you?
I`m happy that you know who you are and what you want/not want. More power to you!
HunterWolf good for you. We don't need to have children to be happy and your not being selfish either. The ones that are selfish are the ones that shouldn't have them in the first place.
Yes. Isn't it great that we knows ourselves well enough to decide that for ourselves? Vs just doing the same thing everyone else does? Bless you for knowing yourself and making a smart choice.
Agreed. All I would add is that I don't understand why even the ones that 'should' have them are considered unselfish. Are they not also selfish?
No, I don’t like children.
No, I do not want any.
Yes, I’m sick of people judging me.
Yes, I’m sick of explaining myself. 🙄
Gal you owe no one explanation
Found my wife
Key Himself Ikr for real.
Rebecca Ariga You’re right I really don’t :) The other day someone asked me why I don’t want kids , I said “I just don’t.” they’re we’re like ok... 😆
Kindah Ummmmm Good for you? What do you want like a medal or a cookie or something like that...? LOL
I'm almost 30 and have no children. My husband and I couldn't be happier!!!
Good! You do you! That’s good
y think your husband is happy talk for yourself
Tell me how you feel in 10 years.
sterntube
Probably happier and younger looking like two of my sisters and other women I know.
And wealthier, retiring early,etc.
I can relate completly 😃
When i was little ive been longing for a day to come to marry a handsome dude and have kids. But years later that desire is fading away. Having kids is not the best thing in the world,because when i hear those mothers whine and see how their kids misbehave ive started to change my mind. Some kids kill their parents for money and most dump them in the old folks home. Im studying to be a nurse and during internship is see no visitors for these seniors. One of them has 4 kids and they never visit. So why give up your whole life and put all friends,hobbies, dreams,spoiling yourself at the bottom of your priority list because the kid must come first and afterwards be dumped in the old folks home because you are no longer fit to babysit the grandkids?
Exactly. If it was just stupid people who reproduced then I would understand it; they were indoctrinated and fell for the illusion. But very very intelligent people have children. That makes me sometimes doubt my decision to stay child-free but despite trying to analyse this from all angles I cannot for the life of me see why people do this.
Rich P Being childfree has its benefits. You can focus on your career and be at peace everyday. In my opinion childfree friends are more reliable youll never have a call from someone that they cant meet you because their kid has a blister or something minor. Also hollidays are more pleasant with childfree friends,they dont have to plan a holliday during those expensive seasons because its the only month where the kids are free from school no nagging during the whole flight ect. But Its up to you if you want a baby or not but remember You'll be a slave to responsibility 24/7 for the next 18 years and with first born babies you'll lose sleep for the next half year,you'll lose the ability to let your days pass as you wish nor come home from work to rest since you have your kids to look after even If youre exhausted. I think its too much stress and demanding.
Off topic here, but know that some don't visit their parents because their parents were and continue to be emotionally abusive. You won't know it, as these parents are narcissists skilled at getting strangers to like them, but there may be a very valid reason some don't visit. These parents already destroyed their children so the parents are only reaping what they've sown.
Sounds like I've found my wife
@@richp3526 maybe for having someone to success business or wealth
If you don't have kids you're a hero/heroine and deserve a medal!
Lol what for? Parents don't deserve a medal. And they are doing something. You don't deserve a medal for NOT doing something.
@@squidlytv parents are selfish, they want happiness from another creature. Most of the time they want to do their children whatever they do like.
@@dreamandmakeit6221 Happiness? Being a Parent isn't about being happy. In fact it's the people who don't become parents that state it's because they want to be happy.
yup yup
Thank you ❤
How do you explain this to your grandma? Simply, dont do it. It is not of her business.
Ofcourse dude!
And if she created my mother and then my mother created me then it's not important that I'll also create someone
This is just ridiculous, I don't want kids and also don't wanna adopt any. I just wanna spend my money how I want and don't wanna spoil my life in handling children and just listening to their sh*t.....TERRIFIC!
Just don't tell her you're not hungry when she offers you food so she wouldn't kill you.
Kids are annoying.
and expensive and brats
Strongly disagree
I don't like kids either
Olwyn Payne Why? They are annoying and mostly because their incompetent parents don’t know how to teach their kids to shut.
@@missxmarvel not all parents are 'incompetent parents' ... Each child is different and raised according to what they are taught by their parents, older siblings, grandparents etc be it right, wrong or indifferent.. Don't tar every child with the same brush....
Life is pain. Then why do I have to pass it to the new one. For what?
Ko Zo Life is more worse than non-existent my opinion
Pain!
Because we're egoistic fucks that breed for our own gains. Then we cry out loud when the children comes out disfigured or if there is any other fault to them.
@@bakatobijuu REALLY? LET ME GIVE YOU A SCENARIO FOR EXAMPLE ONE FAMILY IS IN POVERTY AND THEY MAKE MANY CHILDREN, DO YOU THINK THEY CAN SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN? AND THE CHILDREN WILL BE HAPPY WITH THEIR LIFE LIVING IN POVERTY?
Goku Godly No!!! Non existence is way better.Have you ever worried about the unborn??? No you didn't.
Life gets harder each year. It's not easy at all. Think twice before bringing an innocent into this cruel world. Welfare won't be around much longer
Consider there's still so many people want to have children, billionaires can still treat their cheap labor so bad. Sad world.
My main reason nt to have kids
Spoiler Alert:
We *ALL* die in the end.
@SickWithConsciousness It's sad that the majority of people can't understand this.
@alex gould Isn't it more narcissistic to believe that the human species is so great that it needs to continue to survive? If not please explain.
@@trevagraham1605the human species is so great that it should survive. I see my kids and can't imagine a would with them not in it. They r the biggest gift. I traveled before having children. While I traveled I had fun but it was nothing complained to the fun and joy I have raising my kids. Its not easy. Don't have kids if you don't want to. If you do decide to have them and you are blessed to get pregnant it's a joy like no other.
@@Jessica-kj8yd I would love to believe that the human race needs to survive but that's simply not the case. I love children, which is why I will never bring any into this horrible world. I would never be that selfish to force life onto another human being for absolutely no good reason. The only guarantee in life is death, and just the thought of my child dying because of my irresponsible actions makes me want to cry.
@alex gould what? Human is more than a breeding machine
If you have a niece or a nephew, you pass on 25% of your genetics to that child. So actually, if you have siblings, it doesn't matter half as much if you don't have kids.
and then there's me who will never have niece or nephews because I'm a only child
Klara Bow Piechocki I have 3, and only one niece slightly resembles me 😅
My nieces and nephews, like my siblings, are horrible people - selfish, greedy, and most likely sociopaths like their parents. Their coming into existence hurt the world.
There's 4 kids in our family, but I think only 1 of us may possibly have children in the future
My sisters daughter looks like me, talks, thinks, acts, eats the same things I like and don't like, I truly am blessed as she is a perfect mini me.... if I had a kid it wouldn't be like this one who's exactly like me😂...... I don't have kids of my own but this tiny Miss is more my kid than my sisters.... personality and all.... like I'm talking and playing with the tiny version of me😳😂 shocks ppl all the time and everyone assumes she is my kid and she also calls me mommy too 😂😂😂
I've never wanted children and knew that from an early age-my teens. I dont consider myself a 'failure' because I've chosen to stay child free. And, having been thru one marriage, no way do I want to repeat that venture again! I'm perfectly content with my life the way it is now.
When I'm older I'll never have children.. I don't care what people say I'm still not having them.
Amen.
My take on life is to experience the things we want to. We're here to grow and nurture our soul. Some believe having children is the whole purpose of life (and that's your choice)and others, like myself, believe we're here to have fun and make our life what we want it to be. Not what society expects of us! If you want children, great! If not, great! That's the beauty of being human. You decide how you want your life to be.
I am a 37 year old male and I have never wanted to have children as I really don't see the point for several reasons. The first reason is the world is an overcrowded and hostile place. As time goes on, life will become more stressful. I am ugly and would hate to pass that on and watch any offspring suffer. Also, I am not financially well off to give any children the future they deserve and people in society are just vile ignorant scum that children have to grow up amongst, not to mention the fact that life is depressing and difficult at times. And when I die, any children I had would be left behind to grieve, just as much as I am grieving for my father that passed away two and a half years ago. Not having children has been a no brainer.
There is hope in the world... people who think!!! Why not HELP the 7 billion children called humans that are already here
1100HondaCB It all depends on where you live, the community too. I work in a busy city, its cold and isolating. Overseas people have children but lots of support and family around. I dont see the point esp. when kids will grow up knowing sickness, pain, death.
I think mostly people have kids for the reason "because I want to" like theyre still kids themselves. Those people are the most anoying and most selfish. Them again I hear them complain and cant help myself from thinking muhahaha
Isabelle Amé - EN What about the people who want foster kids? Do you still call them naive?
@@whathell6t thats a completely different situation where people stop caring about their genes and save a life instead of creating more
We're overpopulated anyway...so let the people who want kids have them and let the people who don't want any not have any. Although this is mean to say we're already a virus on this earth. I used to want kids and I never ended up having any. Now I'm perfectly happy with that and given the choice I probably would not have any. I get to borrow my niece who I love and bring her back. lol. People were not brought into this earth to fulfill other people's perceived life purpose. Live life, have fun with or without kids!
Tis Life yes we are overpopulated as is and the ones that should not have anymore are in third world countries where they can't afford or of famine and\or no work but they keep having more regardless. Now that is selfish when you don't have the resources to have them in the first place and also good for you.
KiddRogers You're extremely paranoid and making up false reasons to not have children.
earth can nourish nearly 20 billion.we are not overpopulated
Tis Life not overpopulated at all
Why 3rd World keeps breeding?
Besides giving birth is scary. I just can't do it. I freak out at the sight of needles and the whole progress is scary.
What about home birth? No needles etc., just a midwife and the father of the baby nearby. That's how I did it and I'm quite happy with it.
A friend of mine has a fear of hospitals and all of her four children are born at home.
Oh, it gets even more horrific if you watch a labor all the way through.
@@Onda_Wilde that would not work for someone who is afraid of the pain:)
Onda_ Wilde It’s still scary.
@@missxmarvel I think many people regret having their children, like you said the world has changed and now the youngest of children now have phones and the internet.. Also many parents are like children themselves and are not able to be a parent that can be a good guide for a child. The missing father does not help the matter. Another reason I never had kids was because finding a man that i thought would be a good father never crossed my path. I was horrified of raising a child alone or with an unreliable man.
Life is living your life how you want not others expectation.
Often oneself doesn't know what they need.
@@infamouscrusader3363 I know exactly what I need. And it's certainly not time, money, life consuming little parasitic monsters. :D
@@kikisekscotermann5332 The bitterness in this response is clearly present. Anything to make yourself feel better I guess.
@@infamouscrusader3363 yes thank you. And I mean to keep it that way, until the very day I die. In any way, I wish you all the best.
@@kikisekscotermann5332 He that is unjust, let him be unjust still. The fact you are hear is only to no longer be insecure in your mentality.
47, single, no kids, and happy as can be...I chose not to pass on a high IQ paired with madness and addiction that runs in my family, along with twins, triplets and redheads...my brother had a son, I helped take care of him when he was little, that's my contribution
Even if you do not help raise your nieces and nephews or make art to contribute to the future of humanity, it is still okay to not have kids and contribute to the world in your own way. You don't owe this world anything other than your kindness and respect, otherwise do what makes you happiest.
Never knew my wife's name would be Lili..oh well I'm in!
This ⬆️ thank you! Why do women have to be the fun aunt if they don’t have their own children.. this narrative needs to go away! As well, this idea that those who do not have children are materialistic or hedonistic needs to go away.. some of the most wasteful & materialistic people I know are parents.
I've read in something by Dr. Edward O. Wilson (a hero of mine) that there are members of every species group that don't reproduce, who basically "elect" or are destined to support their species' survival through other supportive measures. I suddenly realized I'm one of those, when I read it... and that it's normal, valuable, necessary, and even common in many species. I've done volunteer work for many decades, never wanted or had kids, and people are glad when they find me. I was born to do what I do, it's my "calling." Being child-free gives me the time and space to do my volunteer work. It's not always easy being nonconforming in our culture, with its emphasis on pairing and breeding, but I'm lucky to do what I'm gifted to do. So she's right.
Lol I love your comment! 👌
Loving this comment as well. I want to create technology to transcend biology. Break the cycle, rise above nature, focus on Transhumanism!
The passing on of genes isn't going to mean a damn thing when you're dead.
I'm not sure why people care if others don't decide to have children, or get married, or whatever else. It's not their lives and it's not going to affect their lives either. Children are money, stress, responsibility and something that you're stuck with for the rest of your life.
It is because you are Narcissistic. Even when you are dead, you care about materialistic things.
Imagine your mother said?!?
@@ZackMeetsWorld Sheesh another idiotic comment.
@@vaderladyl go chase your paycheck "Vaderlady" big cringe !
Self-Taught POLYGLOT How are they Narcissistic if they are living their life the way they want to?
@@selftaughtpolyglot I don't want kids because our planet is already overpopulated, I don't want to bring children into a world like this, I never wanted to be a mother (every child deserves to be wanted), and I would rather spend my time by helping others than raising a child. Which of these reasons to not have a child is narcissistic? I always thought that if for some reason I changed my mind, I would either foster or adopt a child, because there are already millions of homeless children in the world.
Now, may I hear why you wanted to have children?
Love this, I have no interest in procreating but love my niece and nephew! They will always have all my love and support but do not need to have my own children to feel the same connection.
same
I love all children but don t waant any, just want the "maake them happy" part, I'm aa unicef member
Thank you so much for helping me feel like less of a failure for not procreating. Very inspiring presentation
You are though
Why are women that don't want to breed, vilified. I see this roaring covert hatred, mostly from men and the zealously religious, all over the place whenever the subject comes up. I feel incredibly lucky to live in a time where i, as a woman, actually have that choice now, without altering my choices in life. I made it too. In the past, i would have been convent fodder, that was the only viable option, working as a teacher in a catholic school. I'm no longer forced to take on a task that doesn't fit me but i am perfectly able to pitch in when it comes to care. I have put a mom all the way through university by babysitting after the guy was long gone. Sure, we can discuss responsibility from the other side too. Go right ahead and nitpick my day, gentlemen. We are simply addapting to benefit the species here. More carers, less parents. Great for the environment. Hey, we might even survive this ordeal this way.
I don't care one bit if my genes survive or not. Is a cuckoo a bad parent for dropping an egg in a nest of another bird? Bad mother, the species won't survive? Ants and bees are of course completely stupid, right? One female breeding, stop the presses! About to die out! ohh em gee. Give me a break. Social and mating behaviours in species evolve. They addapt to the environment. This is what makes species time resilient. Lack of food, lack of oportunity, abundance of this or that, they addapt. We do too! Cool huh?
And humans even have the brain to foresee shortages and maybe reduce the population without half of them starving in a horrible way. Even cooler! Most animals do it too by the way. Some of them don't reproduce at all during a shortage or reduce their clutch size automatically. Now why would you see this phenomenon all over the animal kingdom if it wasn't universally beneficial for the perpetuation of species? If you really want to be angry about the women who are not reproducing, you might want to take a look at unnaturally thin ones. The lack of meat on their bones automatically shuts off their reproduction, because the body thinks there is famin going on. The fertillity clinics are full of them.The first thing they hear is "Start eating healthy".
That is why men like plumper figures. (I'm not talking obese because that has it's own fertillity implications.) A full figure is a sign of fertillity. Always has been. They know intuitively that unnaturally thin women are most likely not going to perpetuate their genes or not much and are a waste of precious time and provider efforts. The efforts and resorces one child takes is extremely taxing on both, both physically and resources and is a long term commitment.
What this really is, is men projecting their insecurity on women. I don't care about your genes passing on either. You can keep them. We're the boss now. Get used to it. This genie is not about to go back into the bottle. We all know, populations will suddenly boom in times of plenty, might we ever have one again. We are not about to go extinct, lol. You might, but the species, no.
Because it's okay if men choose not to have children, they see it as taking back freedom. But if a woman chooses not to have children men think they're being denied some kind of a right to choose over our bodies. It's been like this for years. A man that chooses to be alone is seen as a hero, a woman that chooses to be alone is seen as unloved and will die alone! Men feel the need to mark their territory and through the centuries they have enjoyed it when women cried out for them to settle down and have babies, they liked having that power over us. Now, when women say no, and since it is our bodies men get scared, they are now being denied instead of being the one that denies. They lose power and therefore hate those whom would take that power away from them. Even if the one holding the power is just simply exorcising their freedom.
I recall hearing several times that it's other women who are more likely to look down on Child Free women. And when it comes to religion, it really depends on the sub-culture and denominations (e.g. Catholics). I'd be considered highly religious, yet I don't care much for kids. I also don't find plump women all that attractive. Cut the feminist bulshit, this isn't male insecurity and females are no better than men.
+Gratowl I am religious and don't want kids either. I don't even get the connection between religion and wanting kids.
LOL @ men losing power because of women who don't want children. The truth is that women with children force society to support those children.
According to the article, men are to blame for having kids late in life. So, don't me that men want to have control over a women's body by forcing to have kids. There are a lot of men who don't want kids too. Also, there's a whole movement called MGTOW. I don't see how is it that they want to control women.
She's overloading the mic pretty badly. Distortion hurts the ears. Love her voice and accent though. Good topic. Child-free by choice here too. No marriage for me either and I've never been married.
Save your hard earnings..no need in giving it up in a possible divorce that may or may not be your fault.
Some people are confused why I don't want pets. Cats and dogs are so adorable, they say. Of course they are adorable, but doesn't mean I want to keep one in my home.
I love pets but I do get you don't want any. It is a big responsibility too.
People really think the pinnacle of my life is getting skeeted in. Great.
😂😂
Some people think reproducing is the ONLY reason and purpose for life, it's kind of sad really
U r very beautiful by the way!)
Lol too funny! So true though.
@@seastorm9548 Exactly. Reproducing for what?
Most people spend more time thinking about which sweater to buy online than having children. Rarely anyone thinks about the unborn child, the argument is always about ‘it’s true love’, ‘it’s the best decision of my life’ but what about those children who had no choice in the matter. It’s a gamble and I simply don’t want to risk it because this is about someone else’s life.
I'm Japanese and have deemed myself unworthy of reproduction based on my poor intellect and undesirable physical characteristics. Now I've been considering financially supporting my family members with gifts, etc and Japanese charities. In fact I donated to the Kyoto animation studio case on gofundme. What she says is true. In the absence of my own descendants, I have the desire to make up for it by taking care of my own kind.
have some more confidence in yourself develop your skills and talent.....believe in yourself ! dont listen to brainwashing and propaganda
Same here. I want to focus on creating technology to transcend biology instead. Break the cycle, rise above nature, focus on Transhumanism!
Ohh cmon rice-kun, thats not about worthiness, its about have someone else with your DNA. You don't have to be worth of it, you just have to do it
We genuinelly need people who don't want to have kids. Often, in nature, childless adults help take care of orphaned children that the adults with children cannot take careof.
I have no Kids. This video give me thoughts and encourage me to think that my feeling about that is fine 🤔
I'm 50 years old and I don't have kids I told my ex I don't want kids she broke up with me. I been looking for a woman that don't have kids and don't want kids but no luck.
You'll find her. Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 women refuse to have kids. It's way more common than I once thought, which is very reassuring. I'm 38 years old, have never wanted kids, and one of the happiest days of my life was when I got a tubal ligation 5 years ago. My fiance has also never wanted kids, so that works out for both of us.
We're out there, buddy. :)
We are all part of the samefamily, and its time to tear down the barriers, and care for each other, just as we would care for our own children / parents. One family one planet.
Agreed, but most parents are not so keen on other adults disciplining THEIR children.
yeah humans aren't that smart yet.... and the ones that are, well they don't have kids, they help as many of the the 7 billion "kids/adults" that are already here struggling and lost marching toward there own inevitable death.
Long ago when I was 18 I got snipped on my birthday, when it was finally "legal".. I'm no longer a young man but act like one in many ways, I travel, I've acquired a great many things to live a good life.. I was never married and in my younger days played the field in exotic locales with ever more exotic women.. Whoever says my childless, wife free life was selfish yes it is! Life for ME AND ME ONLY! When I die all I will leave this world is massive credit debt (I'm going apeshit before I die) and as for me..poof I'm a ghost!
Uno Carb I don't think it's selfish! It's selfish to have something you don't want- getting into relationships and not giving your all and being fake. :)
Still selfish to have something you DO want isn't it?
No you cant be ghost
I really like your comment !
Complete agree, I wish I could get sterlizated at 20, but it’s highly unlikely. I don’t want to be tied down biological or legally
Very few people are really skilled at parenthood.
I just don't see how anyone could bring a child into this world.
Only fools will bring kids into the world sad part people know what kind of world we live on and how we all make it.
@@missiemcmissusthemysteriou4717 I don't see how most hate the idea of procreation.
@@infamouscrusader3363 because the world is overpopulated and us (humans) are diseases on earth. We have caused global warming to skyrocket.
@@narcissus1111 Even the back of vows and volcanoes have done worse. Your point? If it's so bad, what are you going to do about it?
@@infamouscrusader3363 what will I do about it? Not have children. As I’ve said, humans are diseases on earth. I have no problem with us dying out.
Be a parent if u can be good parent dun be a parent because you want a purpose to live ,society demands so ,parenthood should be felt as a beautiful way to give somebody something you never had .trust me trying is enough .just be good to your kids if you plan to have there already a lot for a person to bear wen we come in this world we dun want parents who never wanted us .
I don’t want kids - I did at one point but I changed. Is that bad? I want to be free and follow my dreams without having to take care of a child. As a woman I know this isn’t accepted by society . The thought of having a child makes me feel like I have a heavy metal tire hanging off my neck.
Tree seer Same. I see it as a death trap.
Same here, its not bad at all. Whats bad is expecting everyone to have children. People often don't even realize how much children will change their life. They think it will bring them happiness, secure their marriage, and make them fulfilled. Then they realize they are actually in a nightmare with no escape.
Tsubasa Kids ruin marriages,your body and your life if you haven’t achieved your life goals yet.
@@missxmarvel Thats why I don't want any either.
That's not bad at least you know what you want. I have learned that society will always find fault in something you believe.
Even if I elected to become a father, I would not have a biological child. Depression and substance abuse are problems in my family lineage. There has been enough history in my family to support that there likely is a genetic link. I wouldn’t dare expose a child to this possibility.
Same , I also don’t want to spend my genes to by biological offspring. The anxiety, the insomnia,and I also have ADHD . I don’t want a “mini me”
@@cheyennemurray4491 Same. People always ask “Don’t you want a mini-me?” NO! I would never wish that upon anyone. My life is far too difficult with my mental and physical illnesses. My husband also has numerous problems. We are barely hanging on in this game we call life. Let the happy, healthy people do the procreating. I don’t care about “blood” or “lineage”. I’ll be dead. Won’t care
I suffer from egregious health issues...whole family and me has horrible mental illness... my genes must be stopped
No kids, no future slaves!!!! Travelling the world and enjoying!
I don't have kids never will.... I'm in my 30s .... The only thing tha scares me is not having friends who are likeminded.... all my friends have small kids and are never available to do things with me because "no babysitter" or " I'm so tired because the kids..." I've also noticed that our friendships are suffering because they are jealous of the freedom I have (they'll never admit it tho lol) .... anyway does anyone know if there are there any online groups (or IRL) that I can maybe join and find likeminded friends?!? I'm in the UK... xx
Am in the same boat. Wish I could find like minded friends too. Am in the U.S.
I’m a like minded female in my 30’s. I’m in the US
r/childfree on reddit is a good place
I agree with you 100% Im 50 now and am still waiting to regret not having children. I might when i get older, my nieces say they will put me in a nursing home,, my children probably would have to do the same. I had the same problem with relationships with female friends everyone was too tired to do anything but be parents. I don't fault them for being parents it's cool seeing how their kids come out. Im a like minded person. Don't laugh but what is IRL.?
So you care about you only= Narcissism.
And it is a bad personality trait.
Don't want kids. I'm still trying to get a full hysterectomy
You are the type of woman that I need to marry.
Liz Mowrey I will tell you this, from someone who got a similar thing done, tubal litigation is permanent sterilization but not nearly as invasive and with less than a fourth of the recovery time of hysterectomy.
You can find a lot more info on the different types of permanent sterilization available to women and read their stories if you haven’t found it already as well as a list of childfree doctors from all over the world on the r/childfree subreddit!
I think it’s awesome that you’re making this decision!
Getting a hysterectomy really fucks with your hormones and can have a loooot of complications. Honestly, there are other ways of sterilization that you should probably consider well before you go for a hysterectomy.
@@rainyday6430 Only if they take the ovaries as well. Ovaries produce the hormones while a uterus does not and hysterectomies don't always take the ovaries. Those prone to cancer might really need to consider this rather than other forms of sterilization.
Research bilateral salpingectomy. It’s more effective than tubal ligation and leaves the ovaries:)
why are women( i say women because i am one and i dont see this happening with men that much) always question about why they dont want to have kids?
it is always interesting to me to see how when a woman says she doesnt want kids she is immediately view as an outcast. At least from what i have seen.
Why arent women with many kids questioned in the same way. ?
Just today I say a lady at the school with a full ride of kids. She has 4 kids under the age of 10 i would say and she was pregnant with the 5th. The smaller kids were running everywhere and one older man told her oh is this your kid? then she say yes and they started talking I overheard that she said she has 4 kids and one on the way (which was very obvious) and he said "oh nice, just like in the old times" and she said yes, i will be having 5 next month and the many more to come...
And the many more to come...that really got in my head and got me thinking about this reality. Why women with many kids dont get questioned the same way?
I have no jeans to pass on but I do have some lovelly slacks for the kids that I didn't have, by choice, to inherit!
Anyone else actually want kids, but have zero interest in marrying/a relationship of any kind? I feel like these folks are nonexistent. Let's adopt and coparent! :)
Im not even interested in that. Living life with the idea that it’s never too late for anything,and you can do whatever your interest lies is a good life.
Yeah I am newly divorced (respect and care for my ex but she drove me mad as my wife).
I am 36m and do want a child, but will be hard to now especially with having severe Crohns with permanent ileostomy (with anxiety and depression to boot). Hard enough to date even without these health problems.
But I always wanted a couple of kids. But also know with my track record in relationships I could end up in a custody battle in 10 years, not just splitting a house which I have just had to do.
I worry about ageing without children.
@@Sulegibongtoo176 Adoption and fostering is another great option! If you can afford to, become a single dad and you won't have to worry about any of that.
I have no kids and I am very happy with my decision now more than ever before especially with the covid pandemic is extremely dangerous
great talk!!!
Knowing that my art/others is important is really nice. Thank you :)
Go child free.. no need more human kids in this over populated polluted earth.. go child free.. save the earth.. love from 🇮🇳🇮🇳
I wish there were more women who are open about not having any kids. When it comes to men we often are told that most women want kids & by choosing not to have any kids that our chances having a female parter decreases. drastically.
That’s so funny cause they told me (a woman) the same about finding a male partner. That I would never find a man who’d be ok with not having children.
The point or should I say purpose to living, is growth in understanding. Weither its in discovery in self or things around you. Understanding the causes and effects that lead you or things around you to its current state. You won't know everything and that's fine, but while you find meaning to life, your pursuit of happiness or rather peace is what shapes your purpose in life. Grow and pass on your wisdom to your peers, families or strangers. Knowledge is a precious key to life.
Having children is the most egoistic thing there is if you think about it
Isabelle Amé - EN Yea no kidding .
What do you mean?
It is because you are very Narcissistic. That's all.
Imagine your mother said that to you!
I think of this idea of genes having a "purpose" for us as absurd.
Back in the days of single-celled organisms, only cells that replicated continued as a "species." There naturally became more of cells that replicated more.
There's no need to see "purpose" in that...it's just what naturally and logically happens.
Life's moto should be ease of living, even if it's with or without kids. At the end, it doesn't matter how many kids you will have. You are still going to die and nature will carry on without you. Be smart with the way you lead your life.
Caution: if your siblings are jackasses, then don't shower your nieces and nephews with expensive gifts and give them all your love and attention. When they grow up they will discard you like the ingrates they were raised to be. Concentrate on yourself mainly.
This was my situation.... did so much to help care and raise my sisters kid.... truly helped her and fell inlove with my niece who used to call me mom as well.... I neglected myself to do for them and afew years later when my sisters life was perfect she told me " this is not your child, you should not over step" " she stopped me from visiting my niece as we were so close and she was jealous and didn't like me teaching the little girl good things, opening her mind to think in an unbiased non toxic way which is not how my sister thinks.... she is arrogant, toxic, negative, and I now raising that little girl with all her twisted backward ideas and suppresses her learning and development to become like my sister , controls her..... brainwashed her to not like me anymore..... truly heart breaking ..... also she is a narc..... I finally walked away n went no contact and it's been 3 yrs....
That little girl looks just like me, thinks eats, liked everything of me, a mini me.... like she is my kid just I didn't give birth to her but our attachment and bond is undeniable but my sister didn't like how much she was becoming and growing up to be like me.... I never truly understood how much my second sister hated me and it became apparent as time went by.....
It was heart breaking how she made sure to destroy my relationship with her daughter.... it hurt me terribly but unfortunately that innocent little girl will be raised to be an aweful person that resembles her toxic mother.... a tragedy in motion 😔
I spent thousands of dollars on the best gifts, clothes, toys, food ect bcoz I saw her as my own kid and had made a promise to my sister when she was pregnant and terrified of raising her that I would be there for them both and she felt so much happier and braver in her tough times.... but today Iv been ill treated and kicked away.... discarded.
It was a massive life lesson for me.... NEVER EVER put anyone including a kid before yourself, love me, look after me and provide for me and take care of me first before anyone or anything else!
@@Kim-vs4vb A lesson we both learned too late, but better late than never. Time to give to ourselves now - for a GOOD change!
M gmail totally agree🤗 my life has changed so much since I stopped giving financially, emotionally and physically of my mind, body, heart n soul to my family members who took but never gave, who knew me only when they needed help, after I helped then I was discarded.... dare I ever ask any of them for help.... before I can complete a sentence of help, the answer was no.... I'd have to literally beg for the smallest of help yet I would freely give and do anything for them.... only to be told we'll u did nothing!
Sacrificed many years of my life and nothing I ever did was good enough.... after walking away.... I feel like a rebirth of sorts and rediscovering myself..... I'm enjoying this new part of my life and quite excited for my new future..... takecare and all the best to you 🤗
I don't want kids either
I'm a pet person
The only gene I'm gonna pass is frozen embryos for future cloning, genetic engineering, or for couples who wants a kid by frozen embryo
I hope you're the sort of pet person who is responsible with respect to leash laws, cleaning up after your pet and being mindful that some people have serious health conditions that a pet can make worse. So many pet owners nowadays are not.
wow, you like animals more than humans. What a good person (sarcastic)
@@greengoblin9567 why sarcastic? pet people adopt animals that have been born, a tiny% of us breeds their own animals. we actually care about life that is already here instead of creating a mini-me. im going to an animal shelter after i return from vacation to get a 3rd cat
Existence in order to perpetuate the species is a rhetorical fallacy. The species exists to keep existing, it's circular argument with no final objectives, no ultimate goals, just a bunch of small-minded drones repeating the same pointless cycle over and over again.
Thank you
There's also the fact that theres's no rational, selfless or ethical reason to breed children at all. Neither is there any obligation to do so at all.
Feel free to post whatever absurd dogmatic retorts and fallacies you have at it natalist but they're going to alter it as any less factual.
Well said, absolutely right. Why do most people not get this?
You are aware of the Truth that having kids is done for _the greater good of the human species_ , right?
John Whitesell please tell me that's sarcasm?
No, I am being genuine and honest. If nobody has kids, the human species dies out. Ergo, having kids is done for the greater good of the human species. If having kids perpetuates the human species, then anything that prevents people from having kids is bad, _and infertility and the childfree ideology are therefore both _*_dangerous to the human species_* . People also have parental instincts, which in Childfree people will manifest in having dozens of cats and/or suddenly deciding to conceive only 2 or 3 periods before menopause.
John Whitesell what is the negative if the human race doesn't continue?
I have an angel baby ,now I should face the world all alone ..I will just raise my baby in heaven afterlife see you there my love.❤
I agree with you..and maybe that will be where i will have children it will be a much better place than this. God Bless
i really don’t think i want children. i want a teenager if anything. i don’t want my life to revolve around children, they are boring and annoying and make a massive mess wherever they go.
How are you even "selfish" for someone who is completely nonexistent??
Of course forget about all the thousands or millions of kids needing a home or parents, we must have our own kids -----we are so damn awesome!!
We have convinced ourselves we are so unique that we need copies of ourselves for our lives to mean something.
If passing our genes to our offspring is the goal, then donating them to some organisation for others would solve it, but it seems women (mostly or more than men, want to have their own kids, the ACT of birthing someone is the point, it seems, like all other animals women were designed for it and don't feel complete until they do (mostly), and men are almost universally unable to resist a woman/female in heat. As a man, I have never gone to bed with a woman thinking or hoping she gets pregnant.... and I bet most women don't either, most of humanity is an accident, a surprise pregnancy.
I do get a bit jealous of my friends when I see the love they get from their kids on certain days. But I am not jealous of the responsibility, the fear of your kid stepping in front of a bus, the fear of them inheriting a disease you gave them through your DNA, or even the fear of inadvertently psychologically damaging them by a parenting style or whatever.
I would only ever have kids with someone who I have a rock solid relationship with. I quit a marriage recently as I knew we were not going to be good parents together.
So you let fear rule you? Nice.
Thank you. Well done. Love your presentation. You rock.
i dated someone who called me a waste of life because i said i didn’t want to have children . like , imagine spending time , money , energy etc on someone who thinks you’re not worthy of living because you choose not to reproduce . sad . didn’t wanna know why , didn’t care when i disclosed my reasons … i have real , valid reasons
Absolutely agree, not all dead end streets will make you crash. Or will they? Now I am not sure.... Just writing it made me doubt
I really don't like other human beings. I'm much happier with animals and nature than people.
Kids, in my opinion, are a financial and emotional drain that I don't want. If I raised a child to, I don't know, let's say 18 and that child died, I'd be more annoyed at how much money I spent on it.
Needless to say, I'm doing my possible children a favour.
We have too many people on the planet. I would prefer to see the population of endangered animals increase than ours.
Call me a biological failure or a person who'll regret it or (the best yet) a soul damned to eternity because God commanded us to procreate because I don't really care.
I feel exactly the same, this sounds awful but whenever I read or hear about a kid dying just before Christmas my first thought tends to be "Hope the parents kept the receipts for all the presents they've probably bought for him/her.."
I believe that my unborn child are thanking me
I'm 43 and I have no kids! My bloodline ends with me! GOOD!
I’m 33 and I Have no interest in kids and never have
In the comment section I see a lot of cases of "you want what you can't have". People without kids sometimes regret it and wish they had them but its too late. People with kids sometimes look at child-free people and wish they had that life. For me the real dilemma comes from having kids in our current society which I believe has become too chaotic and lacking in principles. I get very depressed looking around at the lack of effort people put into life. Parents who can't bother to pay attention to their kids, rampant narcissism and excessive vanity and novelty (tattoos is a big one I see everywhere now, particularly on those who complain they are always broke), people caring more about dogs and cats then people, lack of communities. Its very grim, I desperately want children but I fear for the quality of their lives.
Fabulous summary of the state of affairs. No one dares mention people caring more about dogs and cats. Thank you.
You can't do anything against the passing of time. You can try to slow down the bad consequences of aging. But it's ultimately inevitable. I can't see the real value of youth. It's just a state. Not a real value.
long live the argies. you bastards need to win a world cup, it's long overdue
Good talk
I'm 22y/o and I am not so hip in having my own children.
So I was wondering if I should get an IUD so that I wouldn't have to keep worrying about this.
Where oh where are all the nice women who don't want kids!?
I wonder the same about men
All these videos I see are about women not wanting to reproduce. Im a man and I don't want children where are these videos ??
smoove criminal Because it’s not taboo or unnatural when men don’t want them. Besides you hardly do anything in the child’s upbringing so it’s not like men ever acted like a father 9 out of 10.
@@missxmarvel someone's projecting...
aetherflow I’m telling the truth dude.
I like this pleasant debate continue
smoove criminal You got your popcorn ready? 😂
I'm 30 and have never ever been with a man, woman or child (
Very interesting . I have 2 kid though
I'm attracted to a guy and I dun have the bravery to confess due to fear of rejection. I have only dated once in my life that only lasted for 3 weeks.
Breath...you will be fine. Just relax and remember that he is human just like you. Do not make him a Idol in your mind but a person you respect and admire for specific reasons. When you realize we are all human and not perfect, it can be alot easier to approach people. Because you realize most people are like you and struggle with the same things.
What does this have to do with the video?
@@infamouscrusader3363I think they mean fear of confessing that they don’t want children
I love how triggered people who want kids or have kids get when people who don’t want kids say how happy they are or they don’t plan on having none at all in the future.
It’s gold.
I don’t want kids either f that.
_Les _lie_ Not just triggered but also hostile and insulting. They think they have a right to insult you as a human being and only see you as worthy if you decide to be like anyone else. Work pop out look after the grand kids and die. Child birth causes depression,no sleep and no opportunities, and no time to be yourself unless you dump your kids on someone else which is a very scummy thing to do.
They all be jealous and wish they thought about it before popping out kids.
Tsubasa Yes. I’m going to university and a university dropout said that she had to stop because her kid wanted her attention. I would never let go of my dreams even if I was as unfortunate as her because even if you sacrifice your whole life there is no guarantee that you won’t be dumped in the old folks home. Lucky for me I don’t want a family and I have a whole life ahead of working and be a student whenever I see fit. When I see family members having boyfriends and then abandoned by the baby daddy I know I made the right choice. It’s not worth being a single mother.
They secretly wish the same at certain times :)
We keep hold to the wrong things looking for a fit I just wish for a rwal(real) conversation. To grow anyone wish to make or help me from past conventional understanding. I'm a supposedly educational challenged but far from blind wish I could conversation about my understanding no joke anger if want to change thoughts
My people!
We indians have 1.4 billions this is adirty country
I would agree that not all people need, want, or should have children. I also agree that the "interesting" Aunt is in some cases as valuable to society, as is an artist, as a parent. That being said, most of us are not creative enough to make lasting art, and to be an Aunt, someone has to have kids in your family. If you are smart, creative, adventurous, you may be the parent that raises the next great artist, or inventor, etc that enhances the lives of future generations. If you have the luxury to choose, to travel, to create, you can also give your kids the opportunity to do the same. There is nothing wrong with having fun, but I see no reason to limit yourself to fun versus responsibility. Raising your kids is hard for about 10 years, then they are actually fun to travel and do stuff with, sometimes they can make travel more fun, perhaps just with less alcohol. Be careful doubting mother nature, you have drives for a reason, and sometimes they are precursors, not end goals, passing on your genes is a biological impertative, not a universal rational conclusion.
♥️
The hypothesis I feel was just a way for her to feel better about not passing on her individual genes
The "selfish gene" hypothesis only goes so far. Your point is well taken than kid-less humans contribute to human gene propagation too - but that view also is wanting. If one appreciates life in general (and perhaps even views humans as a natural disaster - the 6th great extinction), and one remains kid-less - THAT benefits the whole of genetics, the whole of life on Earth, not just one's own selfish little branch of genes. A bit more god-like, that, isn't it? - and you can still say the genes made me do it if you must. :-) (Take it easy Mr. Dawkins.) :-)
We are to many people on the planet 🌎 so is okay if woman don’t want kids 😎
You're damn right.I'm a man 22 years old and don't want kids overpopulation is the real problem
Enrique Aguilar yeah bro I used to stay in cali is over populated there 🤣 tell me about it also take a look at New York
@@luisescalera5933 the worst problem is people who can't even afford kids have them anyways and also it's either you want a career or you sacrifice your career for kids.i wanted a career
@@luisescalera5933 you should come to las vegas bro rent is cheap,gun laws are fairly reasonable and lots of fine woman
I see the propaganda has done it's work here
Title is misleading
She is funny... I hope she gives another talk
The self-deprecation humor really NOT working for her... Ouch
LOL! She was not funny at all but hei... the presentation os ok...ish
People who want kids are clueless. People who have kids are doom.
Some good points but I have to admit that this vid did not hold my interest the way that many Ted Talks do.
It is not true that full figure women have better genes(healthier bla bla) I would say that sport-shape types have best chance of "surviving".
I really would rather, if I am going to plan a family, adopt a child. It really dont bother me if it is not biological mine because the child dont have my genes. If I really want to raise a child, this would be my option.
There are so many children who need a family...
Especially most of them are the children whose mother was not allowed to abort and people told them to give them to adoption so the child have a happy family when they are adopted....
So my question to you is....have you, or do you know someone in your Family, Friends, work etc. who adopted a child?
So many!
Please don't have children. Although something tells me you're glad, in some subconscious way, that you're alive. I love the intellectual argument she develops just to say that Kids are too much trouble. I want to just enjoy life... This has nothing to do with selfishness. I can deal with people like this if they would just come out and say ... Having children means giving of myself and I don't want to do that...ie selfishness. Truth... what a concept ... lol
It's not selfish to not want kids. Being selfish means to only care about yourself and no one else. How do you expect one to care for a non-existent, hypothetical child? Absolutely ridiculous. 🤦♀️
A lot of salt in this thread.... much like the consequences of "salting the earth".
Anastasia 32 ans et jai jamais voulu d enfants ni aime les bébés ni asume ni man ocupe jai mon appartement mon chat mes parents sa me suffit je suis contente comme sa on et aset nombreux sur terre