Do you actually think Men are trash? If you're going to avoid accountability commenting under a video about accountability using those kind of "whatabout?!"s, you should think carefully about how you do that. Now, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken or anything. It's just that walking right into everyone's point here is sort of dumb behavior. Do with that info what you will.
It sucks, but that's always how it's been. The Allied Powers couldn't have stormed the beaches of Normandy by telling the Germans that they were being toxic.
It’s because men often don’t support emotional expression with one another. If you don’t have an emotionally supportive relationship, you may want to explore counseling to find out why it is in your situation. Everyone is different. “Always” (or “never”)is a warning sign in relationships. And yes, social stereotypes can be a drag. Maybe find someone progressive that’s done their own work. After you’ve done your own work. People are usually emotionally more honest once they’ve learned to be more honest with themselves. One of the toughest parts of life and relationships, it seems.
I've been with dozens of women at this point and lived with many women in my immediate family my entire life. It has been my unfortunate experience that women take zero accountability for their words or actions and never apologize. They also innately have extremely little empathy for the men who take care of them. It is what it is. We're wired completely differently by evolution.
Yeah coz they are low value ones. If u have a career woman in a relatively successful career they will be different coz they know how difficult life actually is
@@sheezy2526not true. A “career woman” lol. My now ex-girlfriend works two white collar jobs remotely and is very career orientated and she struggles with accountability and empathy. A feminine woman of faith is a woman who is different.
I made the mistake of confronting her head on about her behavior, not knowing that I was giving her all the ammunition she needed to confirm her victim mentality
From my experience, avoiding taking accountability for a woman is before the relationship even starts. They usually show those characteristics in the beginning. It hard to tell if it is testing or just a complicated woman.
I don’t think instilling accountability into women should be a man’s job unless it’s the woman’s father. If she can’t take accountability as a woman I’d rather just stay away.
The problem with that is, there are just too many women lacking accountability. You have to leave most women alone. It's not practical unless you're homosexual. So we have to deal with it. At least for straight men.
First I read the comments and wondered why men surround themselves with women like this, then I realized men have families like these women (mothers, sisters..) and I only feel sorry for the men. I'm a woman, I take accountability, I was taught by my father to do that.
you are right i have a mother who dont take responsibility and than blames the men in the house. so you are correct about that part but what i found intressting is how to show the mirror for those who shove there problems on others.
Same. However, I have discovered that women will actually disrespect and attack this (honest/accountability) quality in another woman publically and privately. It's a difficult tightrope walk to fit in with other women when we (few?) have this type of integrity. Always having to switch it up depending on the company is exhausting. I have very few female friends. I'm mostly quiet when in the company of both. And that self-protective act alone leads to most men thinking I'm either mad or boring! Thanks Dad - I wouldn't have it any other way b/c truth/honesty is the good and right thing to do. All I can add/confirm is to be calm and nonthreatening and do not speak in anger or jealous weakness, gentlemen.
This channel attracts men with emotional issues who blame women for everything. They don't realize that both men and women are people with flaws; they think that women are fundamentally flawed lower order beings. I hope they can be honest with the women they meet so the women can avoid them.
what ive learned is that women hate being critiqued but love doing the critiquing. At this point, fellas, dont even bother trying to teach the unteachable. Dont even say nothing, let them fall into the pit of hell without warning. Experience is a harsh teacher, first comes the test next comes the lesson
I agree with the first little bit, but sir, women and men instinctually and naturally need each other to balance each other out. "don't even bother trying to teach the unteachable".. goes both ways buddy. Experience is a hard teacher, but you know whats harder than that.. comprehension. :)
@@BabyRxlla Women do not have any logic and any morals. They have eternal victim mindset. So they do not think they have to learn anything or be responsible.
We can't even have the conversation without your having to soften it for them to protect their delicate feelings. Honestly it's a bit of a joke at this point. Lack of accountability is lack of respectability. You want respect? Grow up. It's really not any more complicated than that.
My observation is that accepting accountability for a woman becomes a defensive posture they take because admitting in front of a man makes them feel vulnerable. So things like apologies and accepting accountability they seem to avoid like the plague and would literally rather take it to the grave. It is actually really sad and needs to improve because the true sign that distinguishes us as adults is not just the willingness to accept compliments and reward but also criticism and accountability otherwise we are all just taller adolescent children in adult bodies.
we don't care if we are admitting our faults... its only the faults which women know their partner can compromise their life situation they have a hard time taking accountability... so then women might start to gain motives to get what they want... instead of taking accountability.. because accountability is just accepting yourself for who you are and what you do.. shouldn't be hard... if they are not taking accountability... either they don't know any better(then as a partner could understand and guild) ... or they know a lot more than you... maybe even more than you think you know... because money and assets are the way of the world sadly... or another reason could be because you are very forceful in your approaches to life and she doesn't feel safe with you or she has taken accountability and you just didn't understand or hear it that way... if its real its yours. best thing is time.peoples true character shows when the lights are dimmed...
@@Cosmicflow9 exactly, they should just own up to it and take accountability.. but people are different, react is different ways, and some people dont take accountability and own uk because they want to protect themselves and their life so they don’t get caught, and some others might not take accountability because of other factors… like they didn’t do anything, or something else
He correctly identifies that the framing of men as predator and women as victim has led to women not taking accountability. However he deliberately downplays it. (Fear of feminists).This is a pervasive and massive problem that has permeated every section of our society., especially the bureaucracies that run it. (Corporations Government etc.) Even now most people have not recognized the profoundly vile implications of this, The sheer unfairness of it all is causing men to check out while the lack of accountability for women means that terrible ideas are spreading like wildfire simply because women will not hold other women accountable. Truth has been sacrificed for so called cohesion and now we have neither.
Interesting. The opposite is usually true in abusive relationships. I wonder if not admitting responsibility is overcompensating or counterbalancing to “not be like that”.
I resonate with these points as a woman. The patriarchy thing not so much as I’m bi and let me tell you, it still happens in relationships with no men lol. For me it has the most to do with feeling emotionally vulnerable when confronted, so the instinct is to get back to emotional safety “but my intentions are good, I’m a good person, you just don’t understand me” It’s unconscious but I would say thats what’s going on internally. Then the interaction is me trying to prove all that and not about the actual issue. The BEST way to respond is with calm and vulnerability (stating the emotional impact). My bf right now does say “you/ that hurt my feelings” and it’s immediately disarming because 1. I can’t argue with it and 2. it puts the focus on his hurt and away from my emotional state, so I actually start thinking about it objectively, and am able to identify with my part in an honest way. Still working on getting to that point sooner though :( Good video, thanks for the balanced take.
Thank you. I’ve yet to meet a woman that explained it well enough to not sound like a child. It’s sad that it’s really like this. It’s exhausting having to deal with all the extra crap just to get a woman to course correct to even want to be around her😂😂😂. My wife is learning, slowly. Hate that the culture allowed y’all to be this selfish. Keep up the good work work and I hope you and your guy go through distance.
Thank you. I’ve yet to meet a woman that explained it well enough to not sound like a child. It’s sad that it’s really like this. It’s exhausting having to deal with all the extra crap just to get a woman to course correct to even want to be around her😂😂😂. My wife is learning, slowly. Hate that the culture allowed y’all to be this selfish. Keep up the good work work and I hope you and your guy go through distance.
well… it is known that lesb. mrrgs. have average expiry of 2..4 yrs, hetero ones 7..9 yrs and gay ones 12..14 yrs. DV rates are at 70+% | 55+% | 25+% relatedly. do we see patterns !? nice we talk about it.
Unfortunately for me, when I used the strategy of you hurt my feelings because of xyz the answer was “you’re too sensitive”… well, after 7 years of trying to communicate and then her ending up cheating on me with a guy at work (while we were doing IVF) I left. BTW - She was a big believer in the patriarchy virus
Feels like this advice on how to get basic human dignity from your girlfriend comes down to treating her like a child. You have to be in complete control emotionally, reasure her and basically abandon the emphasis of your part of the negotiation. This is one of the most basic relational skills. Its understandable that dudes leave if girls cant figure it out.
Women deal with this too. If a man continuously doesn't know/practice very basic house keeping/child rearing things, we lose all patience and want to yell like disciplining a kid. You make it work by knowing how to calm yourself, and know your partner enough to explain so he understands. We both have to regulate our emotions to deal with the differences.
@@ralphiesarch8980 You are conflating things. We are talking about conflict resolution here. You are talking about starting a conflict with your guy and scolding him because you lack clear delegation skills and expectation management.
I couldn't agree more. It is so exhausting dealing with woman in conflict situations. It is not our job to teach woman how to act like an adult in these situations. If you can't take accountability you are functionally a badly raised child. You need to do better.
The dependancy argument is an interesting one. Women cannot admit fault or take accountability under those circumstances out of fear of losing the support, but they don't realise that if they take accountability the respect from their man and the value he places in them will increase. Conversely she is moving herself closer to being dumped by refusing to take accountability.
Even when it wasn't my fault, it was my fault. Which is why I'm getting divorced. 99% of the relationships I've had, the women never could take full accountability for what they had done to ruin the relationship.
I love my wife and daughters very much, and my staff who are women are great people but every single one struggles to take accountability in the best cases and will outright lie to avoid accountability in the worst ones. It makes no sense to me! Since this is a feature of the women we love, there’s no point in sending this video to any of them as they will- 1. Likely not watch it 2. Become angry at you for sending it to them and accuse you of personally attacking them. 3. Combo of the top two. It’s so incredibly frustrating to deal with the sex who we were raised to believe had “emotional intelligence” and are “great communicators”; and we find out in maturity they are the least clear or direct communicators and are actually very emotionally callous towards others, men especially. I just want to have a peaceful home.
How do these women respond to constructive criticism, negative feedback, and performance reviews in their careers? There is an incentive to be accountable in our professions, regardless of our gender. Is it only in their intimate relationships that they choose not to be accountable for their actions or lack thereof?
Bingo. My former partner had no problem communicating and gaining feedback from peers at work. Would be professional and courteous in the face of workplace adversity. But as soon as I brought up any errors on her part of the relationship, the narcissism was in full effect.
@@C737xbrj Connor's wife, Vienna Pharaon, dives deep into our childhood core wounds in her insightful book, "The Origins of You". She explains that most of us have at least one, some or all of the five core wounds from childhood that continue to influence our relationships. They are: the worthiness wound, the belonging wound, the priority wound, the trust wound, and the safety wound. It's often in our intimate partner relationships that our core wounds show up. Your former partner may not have healed from her worthiness wound (not feeling good enough).
@@C737xbrj Connor's wife, Vienna Pharaon, dives deep into our childhood core wounds in her insightful book, The Origins of You. She explains that most of us have at least one, some or all of the five core wounds from childhood that continue to influence our relationships. They are: the worthiness wound, the belonging wound, the priority wound, the trust wound, and the safety wound. It's often in our intimate partner relationships that our core wounds show up. Your former partner may not have healed from her Worthiness Wound (not feeling good enough), which showed up in your relationship.
@@C737xbrj Connor's wife, Vienna Pharaon, dives deep into our childhood core wounds in her insightful book, The Origins of You. She explains that most of us have at least one, some or all of the five core wounds from childhood that continue to influence our relationships. They are: the worthiness wound, the belonging wound, the priority wound, the trust wound, and the safety wound. It's often in our intimate partner relationships that our core wounds show up. Your former partner may not have healed from her Worthiness Wound (not feeling good enough), which showed up in your relationship.
I really appreciate you tackling this topic. The phrase patriarchy virus encapsulates the concept of prejudice against men very well. We recognize prejudice against women as misogyny, and we recognize prejudice against Black people as racism. What do we call prejudice against men? Women can begin to take accountability by answering that question.
Interesting topic. I had a similar conversation with my therapist about how men and women are different. How men tend to be more direct in their communication while women tend to generally be more indirect especially about the part where you said a man will directly hold someone accountable, we’ll say “hey dude that wasn’t cool” and women will be more indirect and character assassinate to the point where they’ll agree. Of course, there are exceptions to this but that’s usually how it is. It’s definitely an interesting concept to tackle. Knowing who you’re communicating with and how they respond to things.
For the most part I agree with Conner, but you have to hold woman accountable, it’s terrible advise to tell anyone otherwise, I was once married to a woman that would not take accountability, and it sucked. Remember men with women, slow to hire, quick to fire.
right. they‘re not to be exempted nor bailed out from bills coming up, neither individually, nor at large (i.e. xx.inism‘s bills). in particular in gents not granting rel.ships | commitment to xx.s that they anyway couldn’t help selves messing around with, and sabotaging, due to their lives before. and of course, there’s no point in even talking about ‚love’ or ‚empathy’ with them, for lack of mutually referable concepts. ENOUGH
You don’t have to hold anyone responsible. You have to hold yourself responsible and accountable for living your life the way you want ( captain of the ship ). Does a captain really care what the passengers are doing after the rules before embarking. He kicks them at next dock after giving them a warning. The issues most men have is its self focus. Most are focused on the woman. Who care about them. It’s about what you want to see and know is right and just. They are the passenger and they are allowed off to other boats if they don’t see their captain is right for them. A captain is too busy to give a F if a passenger gets off his boat if he is always taking inventory if he is doing right. Good. Morally. Just. Rational. Calculated. Calm. Cool. Disciplined…… a captain would rarely take advice from a passenger unless he has a tool the captain lost or in a storm and passanger has a radio or chart he does not have or got damaged is the only time he refers to another.
Fantastic perspective. Well read and well thought out. Most actions stem from ideas of safety and what threatens possible attachment. If you ensure first that the safety and attachment will prevail in spite of the wrong that has occurred, then it is my belief that most people will not feel that overwhelming impending anxiety that causes them to act out in the first place.
This is so interesting because I’ve actually both been good at this and not so good at doing this. However no I’ve become better at always taking ownership and responsibility for my own shit. This is something that’s super important to me because playing the victim and acting like you never do anything wrong is extremely dangerous. Because when you do hurt someone, you act like oh I’m so weak so I can’t really be the aggressor. We are all capable of doing good and bad things, being incredibly loving and extremely dangerous, the sooner we all accept this, the quicker we can incorporate this into our conscious and personality. Bringing the dark into the light
You made a good point - it's when people feel like victims, especially when they feel helpless and powerless, that they can be their most abusive. Most abusiveness comes from someone who feels hurt or attacked or helpless in the moment and cannot see himself or herself as an attacker, even when they are, because they feel backed into a corner themselves.
I recently dated a woman who told me on our first date that she had an affair. She completely owned that she did things the wrong way and should have divorced and moved on instead of cheating to get what she was missing. Instead of seeing this as a "red flag" (like a lot of women probably would if a man told them he had the affair), I kinda fell for her on the first date. I thought her taking accountability and being objective was so awesome. It hit me hard. I was super interested in her from the start because of this.
@@jessbailie1628 Normally I would say once a cheater, always a cheater but in this context and what I’ve learned in the past year. Sometimes people cheat because they want to blow up the relationship because they don’t have the courage to leave. Also I can say for myself, if I were to judge myself on the past things I’ve done in relationships, I would think I was not a great person. But I’ve owned up to my stuff and forgiven myself for it, so I have no shame whatsoever around it and can freely admit to my own wrong doings. I think it’s great that she took accountability and owned up to her shit. I think humans on a very deep level resonate with honesty so it’s always a very attractive thing when someone takes ownership and is honest about the things they have done. Do you have any fear that she may ever cheat on you if she’s not getting her needs met? Or will she have the courage to tell you if something is wrong before stepping out on the relationship. Taking accountability is the first step always but doesn’t signify if they will or will not do it again.
@@TalkToTheWind555 I totally agree with you on this and resonate with this. They always say that weak people are always the most dangerous because they are unaware of their own darkness which lives in everyone. I felt like I was this way before exactly as you described because I didn’t know how to put my own feelings in to words. To acknowledge and validate that I was in pain, I just lashed out to protect myself and I always felt shame after doing that. It was a horrible cycle but thank God I was able to do so much work on myself and to face my own shadow. These videos really helped me a lot to have compassion for myself and deal with toxic shame.
@@RivyOTHIS. The only relationship I ever cheated in was for this very reason, which only became clear to me long after the fact. Shortly after I had began cheating, I found out she had been cheating as well and it eventually brought to me a very poignant conclusion, which still holds true to this day: we both cheated, neither of us wanted to, but we both were checked out, not for any resentful reasons but rather it had just run its course after 7 years. Truth is, neither of us wanted to bring the hammer down on each other because we cared so much for the other. It was a rough year of getting to this point, but I’m proud and thankful to say we are still both very good friends today, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Bias: Men are required to understand women, but neither men nor women are in any way expecting or requiring women to understand men. His "recommendations" simply re-enforce the supposition that he is entirely responsible for emotional maturity and relational repair. In the "techniques" he is "implementing responsibility" by not requiring her to take any. It is a means-ends conflict. He is still being responsible for the relationship, and adapting to her needs while he is the actually the hurt party, while she does nothing except maybe (though probably not) listen. Under his plan of action, recommendations, etc, she is not ever being required to be responsible for the relationship health, or to be emotionally mature. If it is getting to the point where the relational situation is so out of balance that he has to take 2nd order or more degrees of responsibility about how responsibility is being held (or not) in the relationship, then it *is* actually the case that the conversation is a signal that the relationship will be ended by him, due to her failure to account (be responsible) for her part in not taking responsibility and not implementing relational repair practice -- ie; always expecting him to do it. Hence, in this situation, he really should just leave -- it is already reached an unworkable state -- he cannot trust her to learn anything -- all learning/adapting is his work, and so the relationship is actually too brittle to last anyway. Best for him to cut losses and get out.
The joy of being in a relationship where you must spoon feed someone the truth with respect to their shitty behavior lest you threaten their fragile ego...what fun. I'll pass.
The last one is on point. Always best to present to a person the impact an action has on you, the situation, and your overall intentions. This allows for a win win situation to take place where no one losses face, but is rewarded with a thank you for stepping up. Always reward good behaviour.
Something I like to start with is 'im bringing this up with you to form a closer connection with you because if I don't I will begin to feel disconnected. I'm not upset with you. Im upset with a situation and I'm trying to understand the situation so I can better manage it"...
I could have used this video 2 days ago. You hit on every mistake i made the other day. Reeling in the shame of it now, but glad I found this video to kind of help me understand where I went wrong
Gold right there. … If you have a 100 million but spent 1 million. Would you really care? NOPE exactly as you said. They ain’t fighting tooth and nail for the relationship because they can go to any bar. Gas station. Social media. Dating app. And have a F and a date that night if they so choose. The same cannot be said for men unless your name is Rico / Chad / Tyrone / ex convict .. men have 1/100th the optionality as women thus they have a huge huge ass ego
You’ve definitely hit all of this on the nail. The issue is more than just the mere fact that women don’t take accountability for their actions, or lack there of depending on the situation/circumstances. It’s also the fact that society doesn’t generally hold them accountable, and even if or when they do, they’re extremely more lenient with them and give them a slap on the wrist, and sometimes not even that at that. Society treats females like females instead of treating them like adults.
A couple things: 1) acknowledging that women are inherently chaotic is an important paradigm shift we need to accept. 2) The balance between order and chaos is important and needs to be accepted by both men and women. 3) I agree that firm boundaries are important. (Strong fences make good neighbors) 4) Take the risk men for healthy relationships with women. After 28 years of marriage, this is really great advice that I need to incorporate. A loveless marriage is easy to have. I feel that these efforts are worthwhile. It will always take work. That is life. Don’t stop working until you die. That’s the secret truth that deep down we all know and have to accept. Godspeed. Good luck and God bless.
The moment he said "not all women" trying to prevent all women from attacking him is the problem.. as soon as you give any woman the opportunity to say its not me, im not one of these women with accountability problems is already escaping accountability themselves...
Dang, I didn't realize how lucky I am to be with a women who is accountable. The reassurance that the relationship is not threatened/ nothing wrong with you is so clever.
I also realized that this is the MOST IMPORTANT trait a woman needs to have in order to have a working relationship. 1. ability to take accountability 2.personality 3.looks
There is no person that can make sense of this other than Al Bundy “don’t try and understand women, they don’t understand each other and they hate each other”. 😂
Great analysis! Healthy women or women with anxious attachment styles may subconsciously maneuver to avoid accountability when the response to what they did causes them to experience feeling unsafe. Being accountable risks loss of connections they want to maintain. Unhealthy women who don't attach leverage this predilection to avoid accountability to find others who meet their own need to be needed by helping women avoid the consequences of their direct actions.
A lack of accountability is definitely linked to a lack of maturity. The days of men overlooking immaturity in women is coming to an end. Life is just too short to be with someone dragging them down
thank you for speaking on this... but we should also teach the reasons as to why women should take more accountability.... how women are conditioned to be very selfish and materialistic through expectations and social media, growing up and told you will be married, have children, and be provided for, and given baby dolls too play with.. then women start to have false expectations... of love, of family, of money....children being conditioned... and while not understanding what love truly is.. women can tend to be more manipulative to achieve their desires, that were given to them by family friends, and the other influences.. to live out, in the real world as soon as they are young adults... not giving themselves a chance to understand their growing bodies..and why this manipulation works...(dont get this confused with mental strength)... well because men tend to be physically stronger...and so we are very good at indirectly persuading others to our tune, and we are seen as victims due to our perception of being soft, we also dress the part, lipstick helps. the lines get confusing in a society overshadowed with so much confusion of mis valueing valuable things like quality communication, quality time, quality goals, understanding and knowing what you want for yourself TRUELY, understanding the impact of social media and the people who teach you things, and what they actually teach you and seeing people for that they actually are not the subclasses people put them into, we are all capable of anything we want, we have a heart, we have legs, we have a brain, we are only divided in spirit. we are capable of striving to understand each other... but the world is built on a value system of money and getting. in all of the the animal kingdoms women and men are seen to be living in unison.. only out of love... in a survivalist world... our world is not survivalist..its more materialist than anything.. women should take accountability, or we leave out society to be run by "strong broken little boys". the truth is. humans are probably the only species were its everyman for himself.. but a women is an extension of a man. its only fair we take accountability. but ... again.. the world is unfair.
Fantastic video, thank you. It can be interesting in terms of the overlap between individuals and roles. While this video is spot on in the generality, our individual experiences in relationships can almost seem at odds with the general experiences of others. It is sometimes helpful to understand what the 'regular' person might experience in relationships, as if you have had traumatic relationships previously, they can often not fit the norm.
Nice gynocentric talk. It sounded like I'm was in a marriage counseling session. Part of accountability is taking ownership of the one person you can change and that's yourself, not whining to someone else to change so you can feel better about yourself. Guess what, even if someone changes for you, you won't be any happier. Your broke on the inside, and a lot of women need to take accountability for that instead of gaslighting men and trying to make them feel like there the problem. We need to stop making excuses for the feminine gender. If they're honest with themselves they know what they're doing.
8:55 this is just pandering. In reality, we know women initiate the majority of relationship breakdown (even in boyfriend/girlfriend without kids situations). This is because women suffer from higher levels of relationship dissatisfaction. Women are concerned with their emotions and feelings, not keeping the family together.
I have a mum, two sisters, had have like 6 girlfrieds trough my life .... Once I realized women are way more Narcissistic than man like 1000 vs 1. Women's Ego is too big for that, ignore women and destroy that Ego!
It honestly sickens me how true this is. And men will never get any credit. I’m currently in a relationship and I love her to death but she never takes accountability. Here’s what our arguments consist of: She accuses me of apparently ruining last Christmas when I thought it was fine. And then now this Christmas she says it’s also ruined because she thinks she knows how it will go the same way. So ultimately she blames me. And yet she actually thinks she’s justified for treating me this way. And making assumptions. I don’t recall anything bad happening last Christmas but yet she’s blaming me and she genuinely feels in the right for it and I never even did anything wrong today. And today is Christmas and now my Christmas is ruined
Being empathetic, vulnerable, understanding, and honest about your emotions in a relationship is paramount. Don’t disagree on those points. Using anger as a primary form of emotional communication in realtionships doesn't work either. I think two things were missed here though. One, the inability to take accountability for your actions (as a man OR woman) has a name. It has many, actually, depending on context. Being cold, dismissive, unempathetic, self-centered. But, fundamentally, it shows a lack of emotional control on the part of the person who grows defensive. This eats away at the foundation of relationships like acid because it creates an environment where bringing up problems becomes unsafe. By not addressing this, a major piece of many conflicts is being ignored. Second, someone taking accountability for their actions means nothing if it is not followed by a change in those actions. Often, that change needs to be sustained over time. Simply paying lip service doesn't address the underlying problems. Again, this isn't a gendered issue, but it is another major component of this discussion that I think needs to be included. If someone has said repeatedly that they’ll change their behavior, and they don’t, you have to change yours. Also, anger as an emotion in response here is understandable, just be careful about how it is expressed. Don’t hurt someone just because you feel hurt.
Hello Connor: Thank you very much for this. However, I do have one small nit-pick. The camera seemed to zoom in and out a lot. I found it a little distracting. However, after saying that, I found what you said to be very helpful and I've added this video to my list of very helpful videos. Thank you again.
My husband said this about me a lot, and the crazy thing is I do take accountability, but my husband never did. Or at least never listed what it was, but he did expect me to list it. We aren't together now but it was quite tiring.
Why are explaining yourself and worrying about some women not being happy about this? It’s ALL WOMEN on the planet that have issues with accountability. No exception. The worst are those who argue about it.
@ what you mean men ain’t shit after they’ve built EVERYTHING you can see, touch or think of on this planet earth so you can be alive and enjoy the ride. Women say this mostly after they let themselves be used up by men. That ain’t men fault, that’s how those women value themselves.
There really are some women (and men to a lesser extent) who need to suffer the consequences before they start to get it. Why do they refuse to take accountability? Because we let them. That’s why. In your relationship, look at a woman’s behaviour and ask yourself - “would I tolerate this for a second from a man?” It’s that simple.
Because another guy who knows nothing of her past will pick her on the dating app. At the bar. Walking down the street….. They don’t need any accountability when they have endless army of simpas to line up for her 😂
@@ssing7113 the consequence is not having a simp (which is dying out by the way, many men are waking up or offing themself if not cant afford to simp) The consequence is that with her attitude and behaviour will ruin all relations and make many enemies along the line and earn the scorn of many. life does not start and end at sex and no man can save her from herself and her repulsive ways.
i have been troubled by the complete erasure ,of responsibility for young women when they act out impulsively with their sex. But , i very much have experienced the same regret, as well as blaming myself when being taken advantage of by older men. Unfortunately it is a coming of age initiation for all women that we go through in order to understand where our boundaries are. I also have experienced being a hyper codependent who takes the blame for being " the damaged one who always has problems" every time I challenged my partner to improve the quality of our relationship. I was always wrong. I was always just being a bitch and demanding too much. And trust me. I am not using the word "always" lightly. I was told over and over that as long as the rent was paid, I was being unreasonable to expect romance or attention. To this day my EX regrets our separation and wants me back. It makes me sad, but i will never go back. Just so you know...I love men. they are my favorite people.
QUIT MANSPLAINING TO ME!!!!! Jk. Great video. My marriage is ending because my wife would rather divorce than take accountability for the emotional affair that she had or the steps needed for us to rebuild trust.
I cannot relate, I am a woman and I always say sorry if I feel like I'm in the wrong. I don't want to appear like a pickmegirl but I truly do not understand why most women can't do that, and am not even aware of this phenomenon until recently lol. I say sorry to not only my boyfriend but also to friends, family members, co-workers as well. Taking accountability = freedom, people have nothing against you.
Here's the problem, a human being should know when they're wrong, because at the end of the day, wrong is wrong and right is right.. And men, when we're wrong, we openly admit it doesn't take 5 hours a day a week to realize that we're wrong and with them, they'll sit there and even in your calm voice continue to deny that they're wrong, they don't want to take accountability and that's the frustrating part, and that's why men lash out Get overly excited and say things they don't mean or say things that may hurt the relationship and it's not because we want to, but it's because it it's annoying to have someone continuously over and over and over and over and over, deny any accountability in the problem, the matter, whatever maybe.. So for men, it is overly frustrating to have to deal with that over and over and over. I know we're different men and women are different, but yeah, at the same time. F*** that right is right? And wrong is wrong? And when you're wrong, you have to man up or woman up and be confronted and accept what you've done or you're part in it!
What a balanced and insightful take on this topic. I do wish more people would approach conversations like this with the understanding you do. Men and women both seem to struggle with this but it manifests in different ways.
4:25. The aim is not the same and really not even similar. Men hold men accountable to a HIGHER STANDARD and value set. Women shame other women to elevate themselves. Their nature at core is competition for resources.
What do you do, even after following the advice presented in the video, and she still doesn't take accountability? I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place because we have a child together, but the lack of any accountability or even minor consideration for her actions/responses and that I have to be careful with everything I say or feel because as soon as it crosses a very thin threshold she wants out. And if I disagree with her about it, she withdraws further. I'm tired of this pattern, I do my best to provide and be a better man, and it feels like she doesn't see it or chooses not to see it. I don't feel the same way anymore or at least not sure what to feel anymore, but the fact that we have a daughter together makes this situation a tad more difficult to navigate.
This is a great talk, based in substantial truth. But I think an evolutionary aspect explains a part of the difference that has been overlooked here and elsewhere. In traditional societies the men and women live somewhat separately and cover different tasks for the family and community. For men, as noted, status is gained with performance and accountability - for example mens' tasks often have obvious outcomes that everyone knows, such as did your arrow kill the deer or did your bridge across the creek hold up. Women, as we hear often, have a never ending multitasking set of things to attend to. One kid is sick, another needs a diaper change, peas need to be shelled for dinner, canning for the winter, the neighbor is sick, etc. These tasks can be done perfectly or imperfectly to varying degrees, and as long as everything is sort-of being taken care of, it's acceptable enough. In fact, one way for women to be punished by their group is to do these things to a consistently high standard. This difference highlights why women are not raised to be clear in their results and capabilities the way boys & men are.
Your last point, suggesting that laying bare your feelings and explain from a "grounded place" how the woman's behaviour hurt you, is quite contradictory to your other video "Do Women Really Want Vulnerable Men". I understand the principle and it sounds reasonable, but it's an impossibly thin line for most men to navigate
You know what's crazy, i know personally at least 20 women that have cheated on their partners, and have blamed their partners for it. But the even crazier thing, at least 7 of those women have had their now exes dragged away in handcuffs because there woman was caught
@SOM-v4o false accusations, I've watched my exes friend and her sit at the table and discuss how she was going to leave this guy for the new guy, and they came up with she was going to fight him and when he fought back she was going to call the police. And her plan worked. Even my sister inlaws friends were all sitting around doing drugs, and she brought them for she was cheating with over, and the husband suprise got home n found out, yeap same thing, he was gonna fuck up the guy she was cheating with, she jumped in and attacked her husband, n he got arrested. I could keep going on but you get the point
Thank you but this is very difficult for a woman who has been in an abusive relationship. I had to take responsibility more times than I can count. Please clarify that it really depends on how healthy the relationship is.
Sorry for your troubled past, but you've made yourself a good example. Despite his thorough disclaimer already presenting this topic as a softball, you've decided it doesn't apply to you and that he needs to do more to protect your feelings.
lol at the “not me’s” Anytime that I ever talk to a woman about women I always try to preface it with. “I’m speaking in generalities. Don’t personalize this, it’s not about you, just some women” only for them to instantly say “not me, I’m not like that” 😂😅🤯😩
If men didn't allow it, it wouldn't happen. Imagine that every woman who did this got broken up with, or failed to enter into a relationship....women would stop doing it. But women generally get away with it, so it continues.
Do not make excuses for toxic feminine behavior. This is why groups of women fail to function with each other. Feminine behavior may be the reasons, but it is not an excuse.
This guy wasted 15 mins of my time just to tell me to be calm, to which I agree with, but then he said literally lie to her. Bc if a problem is constantly coming up they’re is something wrong with you. It’s not as if the relationship was threatened at every single issue. No it’s threatened bc the same issues kept resurfacing and we have stated already how it effects many times. I didn’t start off mad. I choose to calm myself bc I hate being mad, but to lie and say there’s nothing wrong with her and not have some kinda respect for yourself to leave when the issue at hand has been happening over and over again is exactly why they don’t have accountability. I couldn’t imagine her telling me exactly what I do that effects her negatively, then going off not correcting my behavior, then being surprised when she threatens to leave me. Like what is that.
I’m right in this place: all my fault and I’m told to change or else now. The thing is you come from regulated place yourself and talk about the issue, in no personal way, like you say, but later in life, that person shouts at you next time you argue that she changed for you ( in that calm conversation you had with her before). Hi
If a woman doesnt take accountability and cheats on the man and lies and he isnt the father but she wont take accountability she should be in jail for it all
So stoicism. It’s lonely at the top. Being the leader in your relationship. It seems like it means that you have to be better than your woman at conflict resolution. You can’t expect her to do the fair thing out the gate. As a man you have to be able to handle your personal emotional pain around any situation in healthy ways on your own. It seems unfair or like you’re alone in a relationship where you have to be the adult and it’s kinda true. No one is gonna save us men so it makes sense. it’s kinda just what reality is.
@@marguskiis7711 you again? a lot of option is a delusion. and that does not make the options good. all the bottom barrel simps who want to sleep with her and pass her around are not gold and are running short especially in this economy.
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Most folks won't when they have their ass kissed. Sorry man, the advice in this video isn't the answer. At some point it just boils down to you telling her, the same way she would tell you, that you're not gonna accept her bs. If she walks, she walks. Hope you don't have kids w her, cuz that adds a whole other layer of difficulty.
All you have to do is distance after sending her a sweet goodbye. No sweet goodbye would have them harassing you afterwards. I don't know why. Maybe it hurts their ego when you ghost them.
Women want alpha men.Guess what alpha men aren't putting up with that s***! Because at the end of the day, you should know when you're wrong and you should be able to openly come forward and admit your guilt or responsibility in the matter. That's called being an adult.. You don't need to be a man to be able to know the difference of when you're wrong, and when you're right?And when you should confront the person with an apology or not.. If that's the case, women should go and get the pushover men and the simps.. They definitely won't have a problem with it.Because they'll be too busy getting run over by them
Judge : I sentence you to life in prison without the possibility of parole Mrs Johnson for double homicide of your two children. Attorney : May I remind your honor that my client has a vagina. Judge : Why didn't you say so, councelor? Case dismissed on account of the defendant has a healthy vagina.
Let's be real here. It's all of these simps faults that give them that power to get away with stuff because of their looks or beautiful voice. Now they know they can act a victim and get these idiots to agree with them. Also with sisterhood on their side. It's a battle you have to retreat from. Once they got their sisterhood and the simps. Your world will be rocked and it's time to embrace a week or month being down in the dirt until you recover.
Have you ever met a woman? Your advice sounds like it came from someone that's never been in a relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, when a woman hears the words "Hey, I want to have a conversation with you..." she will instinctively think "He's breaking up with me". Add to that "...about something that you said/did that is not ok with me", she'll immediately think "Ok, he's definitely breaking-up with me" And even worse, if you utter the words "I just want to make it clear that there's nothing wrong with you..." She will instantly take that "He hates me and thinks there's something wrong with me"
The fact that you had to start with a disclaimer to women not to take it personal, proves the entire point of the video.
Yeah that really surprised me! That disclaimer shouldn’t have been there at all. It’s like he’s already absolving them on their behalf. Kinda sad
Are you kidding? Same as the men when some women say « men are trash » you have a bunch of them commenting back « noooot all men 🫠 »
Do you actually think Men are trash?
If you're going to avoid accountability commenting under a video about accountability using those kind of "whatabout?!"s, you should think carefully about how you do that.
Now, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken or anything. It's just that walking right into everyone's point here is sort of dumb behavior.
Do with that info what you will.
@@blackananaas" Men are trash" is equal to "women should take accountability"?
Maybe sit with that for a minute.
@@blackananaas"Men are trash" is literal sexism. "Women avoid accountability" is just an observation.
Why is it that womens emotions are always catered to while men are expected to just deal with it?
I'm sure it's because of "the patriarchy"
Because they have the emotional maturity of a child.
It sucks, but that's always how it's been. The Allied Powers couldn't have stormed the beaches of Normandy by telling the Germans that they were being toxic.
It’s because men often don’t support emotional expression with one another.
If you don’t have an emotionally supportive relationship, you may want to explore counseling to find out why it is in your situation. Everyone is different.
“Always” (or “never”)is a warning sign in relationships.
And yes, social stereotypes can be a drag. Maybe find someone progressive that’s done their own work. After you’ve done your own work.
People are usually emotionally more honest once they’ve learned to be more honest with themselves. One of the toughest parts of life and relationships, it seems.
I've been with dozens of women at this point and lived with many women in my immediate family my entire life. It has been my unfortunate experience that women take zero accountability for their words or actions and never apologize. They also innately have extremely little empathy for the men who take care of them. It is what it is. We're wired completely differently by evolution.
I 100% agree. I am so thankful that my wife does - it's wonderful. And what makes her special.
Yeah coz they are low value ones. If u have a career woman in a relatively successful career they will be different coz they know how difficult life actually is
@@sheezy2526not true. A “career woman” lol. My now ex-girlfriend works two white collar jobs remotely and is very career orientated and she struggles with accountability and empathy. A feminine woman of faith is a woman who is different.
Taking the red 💊 has awakend many men to this truth and has set many men free.
mabye dont suround urself with bad people dude?
I made the mistake of confronting her head on about her behavior, not knowing that I was giving her all the ammunition she needed to confirm her victim mentality
Tell me about it dude.
From my experience, avoiding taking accountability for a woman is before the relationship even starts. They usually show those characteristics in the beginning. It hard to tell if it is testing or just a complicated woman.
I don’t think instilling accountability into women should be a man’s job unless it’s the woman’s father. If she can’t take accountability as a woman I’d rather just stay away.
The problem with that is,
there are just too many women lacking accountability. You have to leave most women alone. It's not practical unless you're homosexual. So we have to deal with it. At least for straight men.
We'd like you to stay far away too until you can resolve your own emotional issues and stop blaming everything on women.
Found the children with zero accountability.
@@jx1668 other countries exist lol
First I read the comments and wondered why men surround themselves with women like this, then I realized men have families like these women (mothers, sisters..) and I only feel sorry for the men. I'm a woman, I take accountability, I was taught by my father to do that.
you are right i have a mother who dont take responsibility and than blames the men in the house. so you are correct about that part but what i found intressting is how to show the mirror for those who shove there problems on others.
Same. However, I have discovered that women will actually disrespect and attack this (honest/accountability) quality in another woman publically and privately. It's a difficult tightrope walk to fit in with other women when we (few?) have this type of integrity. Always having to switch it up depending on the company is exhausting. I have very few female friends. I'm mostly quiet when in the company of both. And that self-protective act alone leads to most men thinking I'm either mad or boring! Thanks Dad - I wouldn't have it any other way b/c truth/honesty is the good and right thing to do. All I can add/confirm is to be calm and nonthreatening and do not speak in anger or jealous weakness, gentlemen.
@@marik8624 Then you're a rarity amongst women.
maybe, until it's your time to be accountable in the simplest of issues, then you'll backpedal lmao
This channel attracts men with emotional issues who blame women for everything. They don't realize that both men and women are people with flaws; they think that women are fundamentally flawed lower order beings. I hope they can be honest with the women they meet so the women can avoid them.
what ive learned is that women hate being critiqued but love doing the critiquing. At this point, fellas, dont even bother trying to teach the unteachable. Dont even say nothing, let them fall into the pit of hell without warning. Experience is a harsh teacher, first comes the test next comes the lesson
Women never learn from experience. They repeat all the mistakes until death.
I agree with the first little bit, but sir, women and men instinctually and naturally need each other to balance each other out.
"don't even bother trying to teach the unteachable".. goes both ways buddy. Experience is a hard teacher, but you know whats harder than that.. comprehension. :)
@@BabyRxlla Women do not have any logic and any morals. They have eternal victim mindset. So they do not think they have to learn anything or be responsible.
We can't even have the conversation without your having to soften it for them to protect their delicate feelings. Honestly it's a bit of a joke at this point. Lack of accountability is lack of respectability. You want respect? Grow up. It's really not any more complicated than that.
Lady Eleanor of Aquitaine popularized chivalry taught through poetry for a reason. Even though your comment makes sense, it's too harsh to listen to.
Agreed. Before even addressing this he started out with apologies. This is sick
But women also demand to be loved unconditionally. Ya know the whole "if you can't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" horseshit
And they never do that for men.
And now we know why hearing the words “I’m sorry” from a woman is so rare.
My observation is that accepting accountability for a woman becomes a defensive posture they take because admitting in front of a man makes them feel vulnerable. So things like apologies and accepting accountability they seem to avoid like the plague and would literally rather take it to the grave. It is actually really sad and needs to improve because the true sign that distinguishes us as adults is not just the willingness to accept compliments and reward but also criticism and accountability otherwise we are all just taller adolescent children in adult bodies.
Right
Agreed
we don't care if we are admitting our faults... its only the faults which women know their partner can compromise their life situation they have a hard time taking accountability... so then women might start to gain motives to get what they want... instead of taking accountability.. because accountability is just accepting yourself for who you are and what you do.. shouldn't be hard... if they are not taking accountability... either they don't know any better(then as a partner could understand and guild) ... or they know a lot more than you... maybe even more than you think you know... because money and assets are the way of the world sadly... or another reason could be because you are very forceful in your approaches to life and she doesn't feel safe with you or she has taken accountability and you just didn't understand or hear it that way... if its real its yours. best thing is time.peoples true character shows when the lights are dimmed...
@@BabyRxllayou make no sense. If a woman cheats she should just own up to it rather than avoiding accountability
@@Cosmicflow9 exactly, they should just own up to it and take accountability.. but people are different, react is different ways, and some people dont take accountability and own uk because they want to protect themselves and their life so they don’t get caught, and some others might not take accountability because of other factors… like they didn’t do anything, or something else
He correctly identifies that the framing of men as predator and women as victim has led to women not taking accountability. However he deliberately downplays it. (Fear of feminists).This is a pervasive and massive problem that has permeated every section of our society., especially the bureaucracies that run it. (Corporations Government etc.) Even now most people have not recognized the profoundly vile implications of this, The sheer unfairness of it all is causing men to check out while the lack of accountability for women means that terrible ideas are spreading like wildfire simply because women will not hold other women accountable. Truth has been sacrificed for so called cohesion and now we have neither.
We deserve neither.
We deserve the truth, good and hard.
This seems to be a recurring pattern on this channel. Maybe one day he can explain why he's actually doing it.
Men: My fault
Women: Yes, your fault. Always your fault
Exactly why many of them never truly grow up .
99%
Interesting. The opposite is usually true in abusive relationships. I wonder if not admitting responsibility is overcompensating or counterbalancing to “not be like that”.
“And it’s all Jermaine’s fault it’s always Jermaine’s fault!”
I resonate with these points as a woman. The patriarchy thing not so much as I’m bi and let me tell you, it still happens in relationships with no men lol. For me it has the most to do with feeling emotionally vulnerable when confronted, so the instinct is to get back to emotional safety “but my intentions are good, I’m a good person, you just don’t understand me” It’s unconscious but I would say thats what’s going on internally. Then the interaction is me trying to prove all that and not about the actual issue. The BEST way to respond is with calm and vulnerability (stating the emotional impact). My bf right now does say “you/ that hurt my feelings” and it’s immediately disarming because 1. I can’t argue with it and 2. it puts the focus on his hurt and away from my emotional state, so I actually start thinking about it objectively, and am able to identify with my part in an honest way. Still working on getting to that point sooner though :( Good video, thanks for the balanced take.
Thank you. I’ve yet to meet a woman that explained it well enough to not sound like a child. It’s sad that it’s really like this. It’s exhausting having to deal with all the extra crap just to get a woman to course correct to even want to be around her😂😂😂. My wife is learning, slowly. Hate that the culture allowed y’all to be this selfish. Keep up the good work work and I hope you and your guy go through distance.
Thank you. I’ve yet to meet a woman that explained it well enough to not sound like a child. It’s sad that it’s really like this. It’s exhausting having to deal with all the extra crap just to get a woman to course correct to even want to be around her😂😂😂. My wife is learning, slowly. Hate that the culture allowed y’all to be this selfish. Keep up the good work work and I hope you and your guy go through distance.
Thank you!
well… it is known that lesb. mrrgs. have average expiry of 2..4 yrs, hetero ones 7..9 yrs and gay ones 12..14 yrs. DV rates are at 70+% | 55+% | 25+% relatedly. do we see patterns !? nice we talk about it.
Unfortunately for me, when I used the strategy of you hurt my feelings because of xyz the answer was “you’re too sensitive”… well, after 7 years of trying to communicate and then her ending up cheating on me with a guy at work (while we were doing IVF) I left.
BTW - She was a big believer in the patriarchy virus
Feels like this advice on how to get basic human dignity from your girlfriend comes down to treating her like a child. You have to be in complete control emotionally, reasure her and basically abandon the emphasis of your part of the negotiation. This is one of the most basic relational skills. Its understandable that dudes leave if girls cant figure it out.
Women deal with this too. If a man continuously doesn't know/practice very basic house keeping/child rearing things, we lose all patience and want to yell like disciplining a kid. You make it work by knowing how to calm yourself, and know your partner enough to explain so he understands. We both have to regulate our emotions to deal with the differences.
@@ralphiesarch8980 You are conflating things. We are talking about conflict resolution here. You are talking about starting a conflict with your guy and scolding him because you lack clear delegation skills and expectation management.
I couldn't agree more. It is so exhausting dealing with woman in conflict situations. It is not our job to teach woman how to act like an adult in these situations. If you can't take accountability you are functionally a badly raised child. You need to do better.
@@rentaleper3816Learned the hard way about women in general. They function emotionally and psychologically like children do .
So parent them?
The dependancy argument is an interesting one. Women cannot admit fault or take accountability under those circumstances out of fear of losing the support, but they don't realise that if they take accountability the respect from their man and the value he places in them will increase. Conversely she is moving herself closer to being dumped by refusing to take accountability.
Chuurch
Even when it wasn't my fault, it was my fault. Which is why I'm getting divorced. 99% of the relationships I've had, the women never could take full accountability for what they had done to ruin the relationship.
And most women nowadays seem to be avoidants. Avoidants never take accountability.
I love my wife and daughters very much, and my staff who are women are great people but every single one struggles to take accountability in the best cases and will outright lie to avoid accountability in the worst ones. It makes no sense to me!
Since this is a feature of the women we love, there’s no point in sending this video to any of them as they will-
1. Likely not watch it
2. Become angry at you for sending it to them and accuse you of personally attacking them.
3. Combo of the top two.
It’s so incredibly frustrating to deal with the sex who we were raised to believe had “emotional intelligence” and are “great communicators”; and we find out in maturity they are the least clear or direct communicators and are actually very emotionally callous towards others, men especially. I just want to have a peaceful home.
Well said!
I’ve never clicked on a video so fast 😂
Same
Haha me too
Me too 😂
How do these women respond to constructive criticism, negative feedback, and performance reviews in their careers? There is an incentive to be accountable in our professions, regardless of our gender. Is it only in their intimate relationships that they choose not to be accountable for their actions or lack thereof?
Bingo. My former partner had no problem communicating and gaining feedback from peers at work. Would be professional and courteous in the face of workplace adversity. But as soon as I brought up any errors on her part of the relationship, the narcissism was in full effect.
@@mattdad8429 No, it's not normal. Is it possible that her boss was trying to dismiss her and colluded with HR?
@@C737xbrj Connor's wife, Vienna Pharaon, dives deep into our childhood core wounds in her insightful book, "The Origins of You". She explains that most of us have at least one, some or all of the five core wounds from childhood that continue to influence our relationships. They are: the worthiness wound, the belonging wound, the priority wound, the trust wound, and the safety wound. It's often in our intimate partner relationships that our core wounds show up. Your former partner may not have healed from her worthiness wound (not feeling good enough).
@@C737xbrj Connor's wife, Vienna Pharaon, dives deep into our childhood core wounds in her insightful book, The Origins of You. She explains that most of us have at least one, some or all of the five core wounds from childhood that continue to influence our relationships. They are: the worthiness wound, the belonging wound, the priority wound, the trust wound, and the safety wound. It's often in our intimate partner relationships that our core wounds show up.
Your former partner may not have healed from her Worthiness Wound (not feeling good enough), which showed up in your relationship.
@@C737xbrj Connor's wife, Vienna Pharaon, dives deep into our childhood core wounds in her insightful book, The Origins of You. She explains that most of us have at least one, some or all of the five core wounds from childhood that continue to influence our relationships. They are: the worthiness wound, the belonging wound, the priority wound, the trust wound, and the safety wound. It's often in our intimate partner relationships that our core wounds show up. Your former partner may not have healed from her Worthiness Wound (not feeling good enough), which showed up in your relationship.
I really appreciate you tackling this topic. The phrase patriarchy virus encapsulates the concept of prejudice against men very well. We recognize prejudice against women as misogyny, and we recognize prejudice against Black people as racism. What do we call prejudice against men? Women can begin to take accountability by answering that question.
"Someday we will talk about feminists the same way we talk about racists and for the exact same reasons." -Karen Straughan
@MonessaLeigh I didn't know there was a word for it. I do now. Thank you! 👍
@MonessaLeighSpoken like a true philosophy... or explained like one, to be more precise!🙂👍
That should read philomath, sorry... damn predictive text!!!! 🙄😅
Interesting topic. I had a similar conversation with my therapist about how men and women are different. How men tend to be more direct in their communication while women tend to generally be more indirect especially about the part where you said a man will directly hold someone accountable, we’ll say “hey dude that wasn’t cool” and women will be more indirect and character assassinate to the point where they’ll agree. Of course, there are exceptions to this but that’s usually how it is. It’s definitely an interesting concept to tackle. Knowing who you’re communicating with and how they respond to things.
For the most part I agree with Conner, but you have to hold woman accountable, it’s terrible advise to tell anyone otherwise, I was once married to a woman that would not take accountability, and it sucked.
Remember men with women, slow to hire, quick to fire.
right. they‘re not to be exempted nor bailed out from bills coming up, neither individually, nor at large (i.e. xx.inism‘s bills). in particular in gents not granting rel.ships | commitment to xx.s that they anyway couldn’t help selves messing around with, and sabotaging, due to their lives before. and of course, there’s no point in even talking about ‚love’ or ‚empathy’ with them, for lack of mutually referable concepts. ENOUGH
You don’t have to hold anyone responsible. You have to hold yourself responsible and accountable for living your life the way you want ( captain of the ship ). Does a captain really care what the passengers are doing after the rules before embarking. He kicks them at next dock after giving them a warning.
The issues most men have is its self focus. Most are focused on the woman. Who care about them. It’s about what you want to see and know is right and just. They are the passenger and they are allowed off to other boats if they don’t see their captain is right for them. A captain is too busy to give a F if a passenger gets off his boat if he is always taking inventory if he is doing right. Good. Morally. Just. Rational. Calculated. Calm. Cool. Disciplined…… a captain would rarely take advice from a passenger unless he has a tool the captain lost or in a storm and passanger has a radio or chart he does not have or got damaged is the only time he refers to another.
Fantastic perspective. Well read and well thought out. Most actions stem from ideas of safety and what threatens possible attachment. If you ensure first that the safety and attachment will prevail in spite of the wrong that has occurred, then it is my belief that most people will not feel that overwhelming impending anxiety that causes them to act out in the first place.
This is so interesting because I’ve actually both been good at this and not so good at doing this. However no I’ve become better at always taking ownership and responsibility for my own shit.
This is something that’s super important to me because playing the victim and acting like you never do anything wrong is extremely dangerous. Because when you do hurt someone, you act like oh I’m so weak so I can’t really be the aggressor.
We are all capable of doing good and bad things, being incredibly loving and extremely dangerous, the sooner we all accept this, the quicker we can incorporate this into our conscious and personality. Bringing the dark into the light
You made a good point - it's when people feel like victims, especially when they feel helpless and powerless, that they can be their most abusive. Most abusiveness comes from someone who feels hurt or attacked or helpless in the moment and cannot see himself or herself as an attacker, even when they are, because they feel backed into a corner themselves.
I recently dated a woman who told me on our first date that she had an affair. She completely owned that she did things the wrong way and should have divorced and moved on instead of cheating to get what she was missing. Instead of seeing this as a "red flag" (like a lot of women probably would if a man told them he had the affair), I kinda fell for her on the first date. I thought her taking accountability and being objective was so awesome. It hit me hard. I was super interested in her from the start because of this.
@@jessbailie1628 Normally I would say once a cheater, always a cheater but in this context and what I’ve learned in the past year. Sometimes people cheat because they want to blow up the relationship because they don’t have the courage to leave. Also I can say for myself, if I were to judge myself on the past things I’ve done in relationships, I would think I was not a great person. But I’ve owned up to my stuff and forgiven myself for it, so I have no shame whatsoever around it and can freely admit to my own wrong doings.
I think it’s great that she took accountability and owned up to her shit. I think humans on a very deep level resonate with honesty so it’s always a very attractive thing when someone takes ownership and is honest about the things they have done.
Do you have any fear that she may ever cheat on you if she’s not getting her needs met? Or will she have the courage to tell you if something is wrong before stepping out on the relationship.
Taking accountability is the first step always but doesn’t signify if they will or will not do it again.
@@TalkToTheWind555 I totally agree with you on this and resonate with this. They always say that weak people are always the most dangerous because they are unaware of their own darkness which lives in everyone.
I felt like I was this way before exactly as you described because I didn’t know how to put my own feelings in to words. To acknowledge and validate that I was in pain, I just lashed out to protect myself and I always felt shame after doing that. It was a horrible cycle but thank God I was able to do so much work on myself and to face my own shadow. These videos really helped me a lot to have compassion for myself and deal with toxic shame.
@@RivyOTHIS. The only relationship I ever cheated in was for this very reason, which only became clear to me long after the fact. Shortly after I had began cheating, I found out she had been cheating as well and it eventually brought to me a very poignant conclusion, which still holds true to this day: we both cheated, neither of us wanted to, but we both were checked out, not for any resentful reasons but rather it had just run its course after 7 years. Truth is, neither of us wanted to bring the hammer down on each other because we cared so much for the other. It was a rough year of getting to this point, but I’m proud and thankful to say we are still both very good friends today, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Bias: Men are required to understand women, but neither men nor women are in any way expecting or requiring women to understand men.
His "recommendations" simply re-enforce the supposition that he is entirely responsible for emotional maturity and relational repair. In the "techniques" he is "implementing responsibility" by not requiring her to take any. It is a means-ends conflict. He is still being responsible for the relationship, and adapting to her needs while he is the actually the hurt party, while she does nothing except maybe (though probably not) listen. Under his plan of action, recommendations, etc, she is not ever being required to be responsible for the relationship health, or to be emotionally mature.
If it is getting to the point where the relational situation is so out of balance that he has to take 2nd order or more degrees of responsibility about how responsibility is being held (or not) in the relationship, then it *is* actually the case that the conversation is a signal that the relationship will be ended by him, due to her failure to account (be responsible) for her part in not taking responsibility and not implementing relational repair practice -- ie; always expecting him to do it. Hence, in this situation, he really should just leave -- it is already reached an unworkable state -- he cannot trust her to learn anything -- all learning/adapting is his work, and so the relationship is actually too brittle to last anyway. Best for him to cut losses and get out.
Right
Spot on
Compact and illustrative explanation.
No judgment; just understanding and translating what it’s like.
The joy of being in a relationship where you must spoon feed someone the truth with respect to their shitty behavior lest you threaten their fragile ego...what fun. I'll pass.
The last one is on point.
Always best to present to a person the impact an action has on you, the situation, and your overall intentions. This allows for a win win situation to take place where no one losses face, but is rewarded with a thank you for stepping up. Always reward good behaviour.
Beaton dont miss. Finally somebody talking about it. Dissecting the things we all scream about but so hard to work through.
Followed the advice in the video and got this response: "I have different views on that subject."
Checkmate, men.
Wow!!! Why am I surprised and not surprised at the same time?!!!!
Me: What matters most, facts or feelings?
Her: It depends.
Me: 😶
Something I like to start with is 'im bringing this up with you to form a closer connection with you because if I don't I will begin to feel disconnected. I'm not upset with you. Im upset with a situation and I'm trying to understand the situation so I can better manage it"...
Sounds like you are walking on eggshells.
sounds like a genious wordsmith, a poet
@rando9574 🕳😂
I could have used this video 2 days ago. You hit on every mistake i made the other day. Reeling in the shame of it now, but glad I found this video to kind of help me understand where I went wrong
Live and learn! If you don't cringe about your past, then you aren't growing
Women just know they have so many options. And they usually care less.
They have lots of options for one night stands or relationships with lower status men. High value men not so much.
Gold right there. …
If you have a 100 million but spent 1 million. Would you really care? NOPE
exactly as you said. They ain’t fighting tooth and nail for the relationship because they can go to any bar. Gas station. Social media. Dating app. And have a F and a date that night if they so choose. The same cannot be said for men unless your name is Rico / Chad / Tyrone / ex convict .. men have 1/100th the optionality as women thus they have a huge huge ass ego
Yeah until 20 years later when looks have deteriorated and they get humbled a bit.
@@SOM-v4o not even then. Far from it.
@@marguskiis7711 That's why I said a bit.
You’ve definitely hit all of this on the nail. The issue is more than just the mere fact that women don’t take accountability for their actions, or lack there of depending on the situation/circumstances. It’s also the fact that society doesn’t generally hold them accountable, and even if or when they do, they’re extremely more lenient with them and give them a slap on the wrist, and sometimes not even that at that. Society treats females like females instead of treating them like adults.
A couple things: 1) acknowledging that women are inherently chaotic is an important paradigm shift we need to accept. 2) The balance between order and chaos is important and needs to be accepted by both men and women. 3) I agree that firm boundaries are important. (Strong fences make good neighbors) 4) Take the risk men for healthy relationships with women. After 28 years of marriage, this is really great advice that I need to incorporate. A loveless marriage is easy to have. I feel that these efforts are worthwhile. It will always take work. That is life. Don’t stop working until you die. That’s the secret truth that deep down we all know and have to accept. Godspeed. Good luck and God bless.
It’s soo ridiculous that it makes me not even want to try.
yes
Nah. Leave it and leave out of any interaction with her as possible.
This was great man. I really enjoyed this. Thank you.
The moment he said "not all women" trying to prevent all women from attacking him is the problem.. as soon as you give any woman the opportunity to say its not me, im not one of these women with accountability problems is already escaping accountability themselves...
This. I've never seen a single accountable woman of any age. Ever.
@@smokingcrab2290 I dated one. Obviously she wasn't American
Dang, I didn't realize how lucky I am to be with a women who is accountable. The reassurance that the relationship is not threatened/ nothing wrong with you is so clever.
I also realized that this is the MOST IMPORTANT trait a woman needs to have in order to have a working relationship. 1. ability to take accountability 2.personality 3.looks
There is no person that can make sense of this other than Al Bundy “don’t try and understand women, they don’t understand each other and they hate each other”. 😂
Rule number 1. Don't negotiate with terrorists
I think this speaks to a trait that extends to other areas, too.
this helped me a ton, thank you
Great analysis! Healthy women or women with anxious attachment styles may subconsciously maneuver to avoid accountability when the response to what they did causes them to experience feeling unsafe. Being accountable risks loss of connections they want to maintain. Unhealthy women who don't attach leverage this predilection to avoid accountability to find others who meet their own need to be needed by helping women avoid the consequences of their direct actions.
A lack of accountability is definitely linked to a lack of maturity. The days of men overlooking immaturity in women is coming to an end. Life is just too short to be with someone dragging them down
Hey that's exactly why men cooperate each other thus solving problems while women brawl each other thus ballooning problems
Zero percent accountability and 100 percent entitlement 🤷♂️
thank you for speaking on this... but we should also teach the reasons as to why women should take more accountability.... how women are conditioned to be very selfish and materialistic through expectations and social media, growing up and told you will be married, have children, and be provided for, and given baby dolls too play with.. then women start to have false expectations... of love, of family, of money....children being conditioned... and while not understanding what love truly is.. women can tend to be more manipulative to achieve their desires, that were given to them by family friends, and the other influences.. to live out, in the real world as soon as they are young adults... not giving themselves a chance to understand their growing bodies..and why this manipulation works...(dont get this confused with mental strength)... well because men tend to be physically stronger...and so we are very good at indirectly persuading others to our tune, and we are seen as victims due to our perception of being soft, we also dress the part, lipstick helps. the lines get confusing in a society overshadowed with so much confusion of mis valueing valuable things like quality communication, quality time, quality goals, understanding and knowing what you want for yourself TRUELY, understanding the impact of social media and the people who teach you things, and what they actually teach you and seeing people for that they actually are not the subclasses people put them into, we are all capable of anything we want, we have a heart, we have legs, we have a brain, we are only divided in spirit. we are capable of striving to understand each other... but the world is built on a value system of money and getting. in all of the the animal kingdoms women and men are seen to be living in unison.. only out of love... in a survivalist world... our world is not survivalist..its more materialist than anything.. women should take accountability, or we leave out society to be run by "strong broken little boys". the truth is. humans are probably the only species were its everyman for himself.. but a women is an extension of a man. its only fair we take accountability. but ... again.. the world is unfair.
Fantastic video, thank you.
It can be interesting in terms of the overlap between individuals and roles. While this video is spot on in the generality, our individual experiences in relationships can almost seem at odds with the general experiences of others. It is sometimes helpful to understand what the 'regular' person might experience in relationships, as if you have had traumatic relationships previously, they can often not fit the norm.
Great video! Mature and forward-looking!
If a woman ever told a man that she was wrong, expect the world to end in the next 10 minutes.
How so?
Nice gynocentric talk. It sounded like I'm was in a marriage counseling session. Part of accountability is taking ownership of the one person you can change and that's yourself, not whining to someone else to change so you can feel better about yourself.
Guess what, even if someone changes for you, you won't be any happier. Your broke on the inside, and a lot of women need to take accountability for that instead of gaslighting men and trying to make them feel like there the problem.
We need to stop making excuses for the feminine gender. If they're honest with themselves they know what they're doing.
8:55 this is just pandering. In reality, we know women initiate the majority of relationship breakdown (even in boyfriend/girlfriend without kids situations). This is because women suffer from higher levels of relationship dissatisfaction. Women are concerned with their emotions and feelings, not keeping the family together.
I saw once somewhere the quote "men will sacrifice their happiness for their family - women will sacrifice their family for their happiness."
@@mattdad8429That is absolutely true.
When you did that it hurt me... she response: i'm sorry you feel this way.
I have a mum, two sisters, had have like 6 girlfrieds trough my life .... Once I realized women are way more Narcissistic than man like 1000 vs 1. Women's Ego is too big for that, ignore women and destroy that Ego!
I ignore -- but it does not work
@@marguskiis7711 combine Ignoring plus Rejection.
@@marguskiis7711 'mom'
Thank you for creating and sharing.
It honestly sickens me how true this is. And men will never get any credit. I’m currently in a relationship and I love her to death but she never takes accountability. Here’s what our arguments consist of: She accuses me of apparently ruining last Christmas when I thought it was fine. And then now this Christmas she says it’s also ruined because she thinks she knows how it will go the same way. So ultimately she blames me. And yet she actually thinks she’s justified for treating me this way. And making assumptions. I don’t recall anything bad happening last Christmas but yet she’s blaming me and she genuinely feels in the right for it and I never even did anything wrong today. And today is Christmas and now my Christmas is ruined
I’ll have to hear this again, bc all I got was treat them like a child
Pretty much. 😂😂
Its hard to respect anyone who simply refuses accountability. And it is insufferable in a work environment.
Being empathetic, vulnerable, understanding, and honest about your emotions in a relationship is paramount. Don’t disagree on those points. Using anger as a primary form of emotional communication in realtionships doesn't work either. I think two things were missed here though.
One, the inability to take accountability for your actions (as a man OR woman) has a name. It has many, actually, depending on context. Being cold, dismissive, unempathetic, self-centered. But, fundamentally, it shows a lack of emotional control on the part of the person who grows defensive. This eats away at the foundation of relationships like acid because it creates an environment where bringing up problems becomes unsafe. By not addressing this, a major piece of many conflicts is being ignored.
Second, someone taking accountability for their actions means nothing if it is not followed by a change in those actions. Often, that change needs to be sustained over time. Simply paying lip service doesn't address the underlying problems. Again, this isn't a gendered issue, but it is another major component of this discussion that I think needs to be included. If someone has said repeatedly that they’ll change their behavior, and they don’t, you have to change yours. Also, anger as an emotion in response here is understandable, just be careful about how it is expressed. Don’t hurt someone just because you feel hurt.
Hello Connor: Thank you very much for this. However, I do have one small nit-pick. The camera seemed to zoom in and out a lot. I found it a little distracting. However, after saying that, I found what you said to be very helpful and I've added this video to my list of very helpful videos. Thank you again.
you actually watch the video when it's just a guy talking to the camera? why?
Make a video on fixing anxious-fearful avoidant relationship
My husband said this about me a lot, and the crazy thing is I do take accountability, but my husband never did. Or at least never listed what it was, but he did expect me to list it. We aren't together now but it was quite tiring.
awesome video thanks
Why are explaining yourself and worrying about some women not being happy about this? It’s ALL WOMEN on the planet that have issues with accountability. No exception. The worst are those who argue about it.
Right
Men ain't shit either but from what I've experienced so far. I have to agree.
@ what you mean men ain’t shit after they’ve built EVERYTHING you can see, touch or think of on this planet earth so you can be alive and enjoy the ride. Women say this mostly after they let themselves be used up by men. That ain’t men fault, that’s how those women value themselves.
There really are some women (and men to a lesser extent) who need to suffer the consequences before they start to get it. Why do they refuse to take accountability? Because we let them. That’s why. In your relationship, look at a woman’s behaviour and ask yourself - “would I tolerate this for a second from a man?” It’s that simple.
Because another guy who knows nothing of her past will pick her on the dating app. At the bar. Walking down the street…..
They don’t need any accountability when they have endless army of simpas to line up for her 😂
@@ssing7113 the consequence is not having a simp (which is dying out by the way, many men are waking up or offing themself if not cant afford to simp)
The consequence is that with her attitude and behaviour will ruin all relations and make many enemies along the line and earn the scorn of many.
life does not start and end at sex and no man can save her from herself and her repulsive ways.
i have been troubled by the complete erasure ,of responsibility for young women when they act out impulsively with their sex. But , i very much have experienced the same regret, as well as blaming myself when being taken advantage of by older men. Unfortunately it is a coming of age initiation for all women that we go through in order to understand where our boundaries are. I also have experienced being a hyper codependent who takes the blame for being " the damaged one who always has problems" every time I challenged my partner to improve the quality of our relationship. I was always wrong. I was always just being a bitch and demanding too much. And trust me. I am not using the word "always" lightly. I was told over and over that as long as the rent was paid, I was being unreasonable to expect romance or attention. To this day my EX regrets our separation and wants me back. It makes me sad, but i will never go back. Just so you know...I love men. they are my favorite people.
Not every woman but like 99.9% lol
QUIT MANSPLAINING TO ME!!!!!
Jk.
Great video.
My marriage is ending because my wife would rather divorce than take accountability for the emotional affair that she had or the steps needed for us to rebuild trust.
I cannot relate, I am a woman and I always say sorry if I feel like I'm in the wrong. I don't want to appear like a pickmegirl but I truly do not understand why most women can't do that, and am not even aware of this phenomenon until recently lol. I say sorry to not only my boyfriend but also to friends, family members, co-workers as well. Taking accountability = freedom, people have nothing against you.
Thank you so much.
Here's the problem, a human being should know when they're wrong, because at the end of the day, wrong is wrong and right is right.. And men, when we're wrong, we openly admit it doesn't take 5 hours a day a week to realize that we're wrong and with them, they'll sit there and even in your calm voice continue to deny that they're wrong, they don't want to take accountability and that's the frustrating part, and that's why men lash out Get overly excited and say things they don't mean or say things that may hurt the relationship and it's not because we want to, but it's because it it's annoying to have someone continuously over and over and over and over and over, deny any accountability in the problem, the matter, whatever maybe.. So for men, it is overly frustrating to have to deal with that over and over and over. I know we're different men and women are different, but yeah, at the same time. F*** that right is right? And wrong is wrong? And when you're wrong, you have to man up or woman up and be confronted and accept what you've done or you're part in it!
What a balanced and insightful take on this topic. I do wish more people would approach conversations like this with the understanding you do. Men and women both seem to struggle with this but it manifests in different ways.
4:25. The aim is not the same and really not even similar. Men hold men accountable to a HIGHER STANDARD and value set. Women shame other women to elevate themselves. Their nature at core is competition for resources.
What do you do, even after following the advice presented in the video, and she still doesn't take accountability?
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place because we have a child together, but the lack of any accountability or even minor consideration for her actions/responses and that I have to be careful with everything I say or feel because as soon as it crosses a very thin threshold she wants out. And if I disagree with her about it, she withdraws further.
I'm tired of this pattern, I do my best to provide and be a better man, and it feels like she doesn't see it or chooses not to see it.
I don't feel the same way anymore or at least not sure what to feel anymore, but the fact that we have a daughter together makes this situation a tad more difficult to navigate.
It is only complex because modern culture enables it
So practically we speak to a child in order to not get it emotional?
This is a great talk, based in substantial truth. But I think an evolutionary aspect explains a part of the difference that has been overlooked here and elsewhere. In traditional societies the men and women live somewhat separately and cover different tasks for the family and community. For men, as noted, status is gained with performance and accountability - for example mens' tasks often have obvious outcomes that everyone knows, such as did your arrow kill the deer or did your bridge across the creek hold up. Women, as we hear often, have a never ending multitasking set of things to attend to. One kid is sick, another needs a diaper change, peas need to be shelled for dinner, canning for the winter, the neighbor is sick, etc. These tasks can be done perfectly or imperfectly to varying degrees, and as long as everything is sort-of being taken care of, it's acceptable enough. In fact, one way for women to be punished by their group is to do these things to a consistently high standard. This difference highlights why women are not raised to be clear in their results and capabilities the way boys & men are.
Guys, I actually heard a woman tell „sorry” it was my Mom. I don’t remember other instances though.
Same here. My mom is one of the VERY FEW women who sincerely apologizes when she's wrong. And I love her - and my dad ofcourse - with my entire world.
Because they're taught not to take accountability
Ironic how this video actually blames everyone BUT women lol
Your last point, suggesting that laying bare your feelings and explain from a "grounded place" how the woman's behaviour hurt you, is quite contradictory to your other video "Do Women Really Want Vulnerable Men". I understand the principle and it sounds reasonable, but it's an impossibly thin line for most men to navigate
You know what's crazy, i know personally at least 20 women that have cheated on their partners, and have blamed their partners for it. But the even crazier thing, at least 7 of those women have had their now exes dragged away in handcuffs because there woman was caught
What? How were the women able to get them cuffed?
@SOM-v4o false accusations, I've watched my exes friend and her sit at the table and discuss how she was going to leave this guy for the new guy, and they came up with she was going to fight him and when he fought back she was going to call the police. And her plan worked.
Even my sister inlaws friends were all sitting around doing drugs, and she brought them for she was cheating with over, and the husband suprise got home n found out, yeap same thing, he was gonna fuck up the guy she was cheating with, she jumped in and attacked her husband, n he got arrested.
I could keep going on but you get the point
Thank you but this is very difficult for a woman who has been in an abusive relationship. I had to take responsibility more times than I can count. Please clarify that it really depends on how healthy the relationship is.
Sorry for your troubled past, but you've made yourself a good example. Despite his thorough disclaimer already presenting this topic as a softball, you've decided it doesn't apply to you and that he needs to do more to protect your feelings.
lol at the “not me’s”
Anytime that I ever talk to a woman about women I always try to preface it with. “I’m speaking in generalities. Don’t personalize this, it’s not about you, just some women” only for them to instantly say “not me, I’m not like that”
😂😅🤯😩
If men didn't allow it, it wouldn't happen. Imagine that every woman who did this got broken up with, or failed to enter into a relationship....women would stop doing it. But women generally get away with it, so it continues.
Women do not need men so much nowadays. So it does not work.
Do not make excuses for toxic feminine behavior. This is why groups of women fail to function with each other. Feminine behavior may be the reasons, but it is not an excuse.
This guy wasted 15 mins of my time just to tell me to be calm, to which I agree with, but then he said literally lie to her. Bc if a problem is constantly coming up they’re is something wrong with you. It’s not as if the relationship was threatened at every single issue. No it’s threatened bc the same issues kept resurfacing and we have stated already how it effects many times. I didn’t start off mad.
I choose to calm myself bc I hate being mad, but to lie and say there’s nothing wrong with her and not have some kinda respect for yourself to leave when the issue at hand has been happening over and over again is exactly why they don’t have accountability.
I couldn’t imagine her telling me exactly what I do that effects her negatively, then going off not correcting my behavior, then being surprised when she threatens to leave me. Like what is that.
I’m right in this place: all my fault and I’m told to change or else now.
The thing is you come from regulated place yourself and talk about the issue, in no personal way, like you say, but later in life, that person shouts at you next time you argue that she changed for you ( in that calm conversation you had with her before). Hi
If a woman doesnt take accountability and cheats on the man and lies and he isnt the father but she wont take accountability she should be in jail for it all
8:41 the sad thing is that the avoidance of accountability is what I think is a greater cause of relationship instability.
So stoicism. It’s lonely at the top. Being the leader in your relationship. It seems like it means that you have to be better than your woman at conflict resolution. You can’t expect her to do the fair thing out the gate. As a man you have to be able to handle your personal emotional pain around any situation in healthy ways on your own. It seems unfair or like you’re alone in a relationship where you have to be the adult and it’s kinda true. No one is gonna save us men so it makes sense. it’s kinda just what reality is.
i think also women can become disinsentivized to being held by having greater financial leverage or independence in the relationship.
Women know they can walk away any minute. They know they have a lot of options. So, no need to work on relationship
@@marguskiis7711 you again? a lot of option is a delusion. and that does not make the options good.
all the bottom barrel simps who want to sleep with her and pass her around are not gold and are running short especially in this economy.
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I do all of that and it seems like she just does not want to change anything.
Most folks won't when they have their ass kissed. Sorry man, the advice in this video isn't the answer. At some point it just boils down to you telling her, the same way she would tell you, that you're not gonna accept her bs. If she walks, she walks. Hope you don't have kids w her, cuz that adds a whole other layer of difficulty.
All you have to do is distance after sending her a sweet goodbye. No sweet goodbye would have them harassing you afterwards. I don't know why. Maybe it hurts their ego when you ghost them.
Women want alpha men.Guess what alpha men aren't putting up with that s***! Because at the end of the day, you should know when you're wrong and you should be able to openly come forward and admit your guilt or responsibility in the matter. That's called being an adult.. You don't need to be a man to be able to know the difference of when you're wrong, and when you're right?And when you should confront the person with an apology or not.. If that's the case, women should go and get the pushover men and the simps.. They definitely won't have a problem with it.Because they'll be too busy getting run over by them
Judge : I sentence you to life in prison without the possibility of parole Mrs Johnson for double homicide of your two children.
Attorney : May I remind your honor that my client has a vagina.
Judge : Why didn't you say so, councelor?
Case dismissed on account of the
defendant has a healthy vagina.
Let's be real here. It's all of these simps faults that give them that power to get away with stuff because of their looks or beautiful voice.
Now they know they can act a victim and get these idiots to agree with them. Also with sisterhood on their side. It's a battle you have to retreat from.
Once they got their sisterhood and the simps. Your world will be rocked and it's time to embrace a week or month being down in the dirt until you recover.
the overwhelming majority of these women have extreme accountability issues. Even having to give that disclaimer further proves it 1:54.
Have you ever met a woman? Your advice sounds like it came from someone that's never been in a relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, when a woman hears the words "Hey, I want to have a conversation with you..." she will instinctively think "He's breaking up with me".
Add to that "...about something that you said/did that is not ok with me", she'll immediately think "Ok, he's definitely breaking-up with me"
And even worse, if you utter the words "I just want to make it clear that there's nothing wrong with you..." She will instantly take that "He hates me and thinks there's something wrong with me"
Sounds like hearing what you want to hear. Take accountability for it being YOU.