Staying Sane w Stage 4 Cancer vlog #39 - the grief of watching myself die is just too much sometimes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
- I've said it before - knowing you are dying is a strange thing. It does weird things to your mind. In order to survive mentally you got to let it flow.
It is my two year cancerversary in a few days. It is incredible and quite lovely that I am still here. I value every breathe I take. I marvel at everything I lie eyes on. To have stage 4 cancer and crushing life at the moment is amazing.
But that doesn't mean I do not also grieve and mourn the loss of what could have been. The loss of my dreams and aspirations for the future. The impending loss of my life way too early.
Today I am sad and I am sitting in it for a bit. Just a bit.
#Stage4ColonCancer #Cancer #ShittingRainbows
Your dog just living his best life 🥰
That little dog on your back is the perfect way to bring yourself back. I watched him this whole video. He is safe and content on your back. Smiling in the sunshine, sniffing the fresh air. Mindful and present. Pets can teach us if we stop to pay attention.
Whenever I come across someone who is dying (or well, we are all dying, but you know what I mean), I think about the fact that people such as yourself who are aware of their life running out of time are so awoken, so grateful, and so alive. Connected to the present moment, to the people you love. Connected to deeper thoughts and true awareness.
And I then feel guilty. I feel guilty from the fact that I am so detached (emotionally/mentally) That I don’t feel alive. Physically yes. But I am not alive emotionally.
I feel like time is just passing by, and I don’t even feel grateful as I am not emotionally or mentally present during the happenings of things.
I have looked back at the past 10 years of my existence, and thought to myself, was that even my past? It feels so unfamiliar. Like it does not belong to me. That I did not exist or live in the past even though I know I did, it could have been a movie I watched a year ago, or someone else’s past being re-told to me by someone else.
I struggle with dissociation. In my chase it is chronic. I am very certain that when I am old (if I get old), and look back at all the decades that have passed, I will feel the same way. I was never truly there, it does not belong to me, I was detached.
I would truly want a few years of living, and feeling, and loving, and hurting, and grieving, and thinking deeper thoughts, and feeling strongly while doing so, and die early, rather than being a literal waste of space.
I wish I could have given you my time as I am sure you would have taken full use of it. I wish I could have an awakening too somehow.
You are truly alive and you are living way more than many of us. You are so connected to yourself, and as much as you are grieving, I still see you as way better off than me. I envy you, I admire you, and I appreciate you for sharing your thoughts. Your video reminded me of what being alive is supposed to be, and I want to seek therapy to find a way to stop dissociating if possible.
You get so used to it that you don’t even realize it, but time moves on regardless. When I come across people like yourself I am yet again reminded of what I am missing out on, and I want to work on that if possible. Thank you.
You are a poet and a philosopher. I was a Hospice case manager for years. Your wisdom is beautiful. Thank you. I am here listening to you and absorbing your expression of grief and depth of your loss. Anticipatory grief is a real and valuable part of the end of life process for those with terminal illness. The most valuable thing that those of us around can do is to give space for those we love or are treating to express that part of the necessary process. With out trying to "make it better" or to deny it or to tell the person experiencing or expressing to "cheer up" or tell stories of your aunt/uncle/ friend who "recovered and lived another 40 years with what you have!" That is not helpful. What is helpful is to sit with the person who is giving you the gift of expressing their anticipatory grief to you. With out any "buck up buddy" or "So & so got better" statements.
I am sorry if my writing is a little jumbled, I have had 2 brain injuries and my verbal and written words have been impacted.
Bless you and your wife. I hope this was helpful. I listened with great appreciation and love for what you expressed.
I was cured stage 4 pancreatic in 2009 so believe in life rather then more time. I am a walking miracle and you are too. Ps one of the best things I did for myself was to go to an acupuncturist to keep my stress levels under control, it really helped.
I am sad with you. I'm glad that you can speak your truth. I was watching your dog and it gave me pause. He is just there, in that moment, breathing in the air, watching the water, sniffing at you at times...just being a dog. I watch my dog do the same thing, just being a dog in the moment. I want to be a dog. Hugs to you.
Rosemary S just being a dog is not being in a bag over someone's back..being a dog would be him running up and down the beach
You have the heart of a poet. You should continue speaking, don't stop. Listening to you was amazing
You are lovely...you remind me of Diane Keaton. Sending you all the good vibes...this world is better with people like you in it!
Your fur-baby is just precious, I am so glad the two of you have one another. My thoughts are with you!!
Your thoughts are very normal. I fought cancer for four years with my mom. She was 84 so fighting was harder at that age. I saw some amazing things happen to patients along the way. All I can say is that we never know what amazing things may happen. We just don’t know so stay within each day as best you can.
When you spoke of holding onto your pain like a fucking Diamond, rubbing it, marvelling in it, but then throwing it away, that really hit me. I need to throw my fucking Diamond away!!!! Thanks for that image. I wish you peace and nothing but the best. Your little doggo is so precious. Big hugs❤️❤️❤️🇨🇦
I'm so very sorry that this day was such a very sad one for you. We have those ideas when we lose a child. We wanted to see them grow up and see who they would become, then they die and we are grieved because we feel that we've been robbed. I see that you are that chid in your life. I love you Nicky and pray for healing for you, physically and spiritually. God is awesome.
I struggle with depression. It helps me to do small things that make one other person happy outside of my family circle.
I happened to come across this video. I could not stop watching. I just want to say that you are so articulate, intelligent, and strong. I don't have any good coping mechanisms to share. I struggle to hang in there myself. One day at a time.
P.S.--You have one of the cutest dogs I have ever seen.
I deal with depression. What helps me is to acknowledge the depression but not allow it to dictate my actions. I carry on with everything thing I do when I’m not dealing with such a heavy load. That keeps me from drowning in it. You are doing well. Thank you so being so in touch with your feelings and for sharing.We all have so much to learn from each other.
Doggie is one of your spiritual companions
Your an amazing woman. Your strength is palpable. Your wife is a Lucky woman. Sometimes you just need a good ole fashion breakdown and The loudest Scream you can muster up to release that which is inside. The water is beautiful and relaxing. Remember that scene in steel magnolias, sometimes it feels good to just knock the hell outta something to get that anger out too. ,❤️😘💪 Fight on you are a warrior!
Sending you ❤️❤️❤️
Cancer is seriously the worst thing I have ever witnessed first hand. I’ve had a few people in my life taken too soon from this awful disease. My aunt passed from colon cancer at the age of 59 a year ago. Watching her go through intense chemo and radiation for three years to be told she was cancer free only to then be told the cancer was back three months later and progressed through every organ in her body except her brain was by far the hardest thing for me. It gives me peace knowing that her last year alive was her best she stopped taking the chemo and just lived and lived her best life ❤️ she traveled many places and done everything she wanted to that last year. We all know we are going to die but knowing when is a hard thing to accept. You and your family will be in my deepest thoughts. ❤️
Appreciate your honesty and realness..We cry with you. Wish that I could give you a giant hug! I hope that you know how much we all care about you even if we have never met. Hang in there girl..I truly believe that you have many more memories to make. Love from SC ❤️❤️
I had a near death experience long ago on a cold winter night by a river, I remember the darkness, the light. The sky was beautiful blue, the sky towered into the sky and was as far as I could see, I was standing on a cloud and a man stood on my left. He asked me something and I nodded. He pointed the way we should go. And I remember the wonderful marvelous feeling of feeling no weight on me feet. It was wonderful. I ll be looking for you.
You are so strong! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Your pup is adorable. I wish I could help you. It’s good to express your feelings. We are here for you! Love to you always!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your words and reflections on life resonate with my inner self. I am grateful to you, taking the time and making the effort to share your thoughts, they are precious
You are beautiful heart and soul .Prayers for you sweety but you have this. Just remember there are lots of us with you and we’re on this journey wi right beside you.Love and be happy.
You are such a amazing person !!!! Looking back on your videos …… OMG …… You are living each moments ….. praying for you and your wife Nicole all my love from France
God bless you on your days to come.
I've been grieving with who I'm leaving behind too.
I’m so sorry for the path u r having to go down! U r doing it with grace and giving inspiration to others! U have an awesome smile that makes me smile! Thank you for sharing! God bless u🙏🏻🌷
There are no "tricks" to get over bad situations. I've been in a similar situation (I'm safe for now) and the best thing you can do is be sincere with yourself and make the most with what you got. Except for depression, that's completely different because that's a chemical imbalance in the brain and we can treat that. I can't tell what I would do or think in your place, because I'm not in your place and my thinking would probably be different under these circumstances. I just think that I would think as the very old people do. They also know the end is near (ish) and they cope with that differently, but they all do at some point. Maybe I'm not the best at giving advice, but thinking about what you could have done might not be the best thing to do right now. Also, doing 1000 things you would've loved to do in your life in like...1 year is also a bad idea. Live your life as you would if you were not sick. Get comfortable, get some me time, spend it like you normally would. This is what you miss the most, actually....normality. And this is what I would probably do...live a normal life before the disease stops me from being 100% normal. And that dog looks bored as fuck. "Yada yada yada...let's go home already, it's windy and I'm cold and I'm hungry."
You are so beautifully and honestly expressive of everything you are going through. Thank you for sharing your journey - it's so helpful to others
Your dog is too cute. Beautiful day in Chicago. Good for you on two years. I just started watching your videos. Your a sweet lady and pray for the best for you.
I Know exactly what you're going through exactly......I'm terminal too and missing everything I used to have before cancer I feel like I'm waisting time too
I really felt you on this one...my only child has been chronic ill over a decade.....
Susan Smith
I'm so sorry, that has to be very painful.
May God bless your child.
Thank you for sharing this real and raw moment. I’m sending you so much love xx
And by the way I do what you did. I don’t push it away, just sit with it and cry. I let it go but if it lasts more than an hour or two I tell myself it’s time to stop and I’m allowed to grieve again in a bit.
I'm new to your channel, but you have you just touched my heart with your raw and honest feelings about your illness. You inspire me to look at my health struggle in a different light, thank you!❤️
This just popped up. What a pleasant surprise to see you and your adorable pup. Thank you for sharing your feelings as always. So relatable. I just kept nodding my head. Hugs to you
And I loved you filming by the lake. The wonderful sound of the waves!
I am happy to see your smile! Being around water is great for life anxiety. Enjoy it whenever you can 💕
You showed up in my recommendations. I'm glad you did. ❤
Your honesty and beauty through this process gives me peace in my own life if only for this moment, thank you.
Thank you. It's everything I am going through and thinking in my own life and you somehow worded it for me. It often seems like we are alone and the only one going through this craziness, but it isnt true at all.❤♥️❤♥️❤♥️
Especially related to the part about how you once held onto all the hurt and pain like a precious diamond, lol! I always tried to brace myself with all my might for the "bad" times I knew were coming thinking it would work but you can only let it go and accept what's coming in order to handle it and continue to function. Thank you again. You are handling it better than me in a lot of ways, I still freak out when I actually think about my personal reality, but I let myself. As someone that loves life and invested so much into it its extremely difficult to accept that now you have to let it all go. It's just a testament to how well you did in life to be mourning having to now master this part.
You are beautiful and you are bringing so much light in the world without even knowing ❤️
That pup is just precious.
I just want to give you a big hug.... Even though I'm a stranger..I want you to know I love you. I live in Chicago and visit the lakefront quite often...would be nice if I ran into you.... Much love, Nicky 💜💜💜
That was deep, touching, emotional, honest to the core and straight out beautiful ❤️ Subscribed to your channel ❤️🌹 Greetings to you and a warm hug from me here in Norway 🇳🇴 🥰
I am so glad for your videos and how you can express, share and feel everything. I just don't know how you can balance everything so well. I too love the water. I can sit at the lake and do nothing but listen to the waves and it gives me peace. Many people just die of natural causes, or other issues where things were not known. They just died during sleep or very quickly and just never got to give things a thought. Unfortunately when you are ill or have a terminal chronic illness, there's too much time to think of what you will not see in the future. I can't imagine the struggle. I love that you share.
Thank you. I am your sister, your twin, your friend as I have stage 4 cancer also at our similar, relatively young age. I am with you and I exactly, precisely share your thoughts and feelings. I feel you are speaking my thoughts. And so bravely and beautifully. I am not a fan of cameras especially videos and so you’re doing something I could never do. We are unique group of humans that appreciate every sight, sound, taste, and feeling. It is exhausting but enlightening. I wish you only the most happiness, love and peace and I will be here with you and for you for as long as I continue to live.
Cancer takes a village and we are each others village. I chose to make these videos because I believe no one should go through cancer alone so thank you for joining and thank you for sharing.
For right here right now we are alive and we got each other!
I'm sending healing prayers and hugs your way
New sub, so nice to meet you here, I have long term chronic pain and other health issues as well and every day I want to give up but something keeps me from doing so and wanting to stay here. On days where my pain stops me doing pretty much anything enjoyable I luckily can lie and watch TH-cam as I am today and now I’m blessed to have found your channel. I send love and best wishes to you and your family. Your doing amazing and you have an amazing will in you too. Where most would give up you sure are not doing so. I’m thankful to have found you. I try to find the shining light in the darkness and today’s blessing was finding you here when I am suffering. You brought warm ness to my heart and I didn’t feel so alone so Thankyou for sharing your story here x
Thank you so much for sharing! You are so very loved and you are in my prayers.
You are a sapphire set in platinum.
It’s okay to grieve, of course it is, hell yes it is.
Enjoy your glorious life with your amazing wife (she must be amazing because she is with you).
Your pack baby is mighty cute🐾
We die ,it's so unfare that we understand it. We're all strong but you , you are a warrior . You are at another level of consciousness right now and you can teach others. You're so courageous . Thank you for sharing your thoughts , they mean a lot like you. Love from italy
You are a beautiful being a real. human kind so, you have developed to the person you are and this life is blessed for you are with us
You give us comfort in knowing the tide end & flows the wind bliss then the sun 🌞 too will play it's part in this theatre of life
I’ve heard to let yourself grieve, like really and fully let it out for a day or two then wake up and be done with it. Idk how you could do that in a situation like this. Maybe just set up a certain amount of times per week or month when you allow yourself to do that? I have OCD and I’m supposed to set up a half hour per day to worry and that’s it. It hasn’t worked yet. But that’s all I can share, I’m sorry I don’t have more. I’m so glad your video showed up in my feed. I’ve been suffering with severe chronic pain for years and I’ve lost so many family members to cancer. Watching these types of videos really intrigue me and it keeps me aware of how blessed I’ve been even tho I struggle daily. Thank you for being so vulnerable, so open and honest with us. I m sending love and prayers your way. Xxxx
I am so grateful you popped up in my feed! I’m going through a very scary health scare and I’ve been so scared and so sad and so overwhelmed! You are such an inspiration! 💙❤️💜💚💛
Your dog is so precious. I think all your emotions are normal. We're not here to judge u. We're here to support u. I need to watch your other videos and pray for u and your wife. I think your rt being by the water listening to it in itself mentally healing. Yes cancer brings out all the emotions. Good days bad days. I pray for u and send a big hug 🤗!❤❤
It's really a lot of work to keep sane and enjoy the day when going thru this. You are a beautiful soul. And I enjoy your time here on TH-cam with all of us. You're contributing more than you can imagine with others also experiencing this. The only advice I would give you is to keep doing what you're doing. Keeping yourself going places. Keep doing projects and having goals. ❤️
❤ TH-cam keeps on giving me your videos and I keep reading them and learning more about how to make each minute counts in my life. It seems like I woke up at 70 and said wow, I’m not going to live forever. Wasn’t the age it was my body telling me that. So what time I have left on earth what we all have left I want to really Make the most of it. You are making the most of your life and that’s the important part. Keep on enjoying every moment with your wife and your dog and your friends and family and your loving TH-cam family. Aloha
You are truely amazing keep going xx
Deep... Love this.
I'm feeling this so much right now. There must be something in the change of weather, air or something but two days ago I had my...I don't know what to call it but I felt EVERYTHING. I mourned the fact that I could miss my two youngest becoming adults. I could miss being a grandma to my kids future pets. I felt the loss of being able to travel with my husband when our kids get older. Grief has been so heavy on my heart. Every time I get to this point, I allow myself to feel it when I need to. I probably would have wallowed a little longer but after talking to my sister about how I was feeling, the next day she showed up with a sweatshirt for me that had me laughing all day long. It had a picture of a cat holding guns and the sweatshirt said, "Pew Pew Madafakas". I had told her that every time I sat in the chemo chair, I pictured the chemo going through my body pew pewing all my cancer cells. I usually can lift myself up if I find humor in my life. I have 4 kids and a cat so I can usually find something funny. Hugs to you.
I read what you wrote. I feel every word you wrote. I wish I had a fix for everyone having to go through this. I can empathize as I had several people go through this. I just don't have any more words to describe what I feel for these situations.
Hugs from Sarajevo. I hope you find a way out, somehow. I will never take healthy me for granted.
I don’t know if I have any good coping mechanisms for you or not. I was diagnosed last August 2020 stage 4 with metastasis to the peritoneal area. The first couple of months were crappy because it was all sinking in. I’ve never been sick. Always been strong. Didn’t know shit about hospitals. Just sitting in the hallway in some bumpy wheelchair drooping because I’m devastated. Waiting for them to put my chemo port in. Resenting all the gray haired people in the world. This is not fair! Why do they get to be old and I don’t!? I always knew I would make it to be and 85 year old tough old bird. But now there’s an %85 chance I won’t make it into my mid fifties. No one has told me to handle my final affairs yet. I won’t be a year into this until August. It looks like you may have been told to get ready to handle your final affairs or your just having a bad day . I feel like I got a lot of living into these 50 years. I drove a semi across country for a few short years, then went local but still saw a lot. I served four years in the marines and saw some of the world too. I spent twelve years single, did a lot of fishing, camping, hiking, and canoeing by myself but with my lab mixes too. Looks like your having a bad day but that lake shore is where you go to see YOU and make peace. I think you should keep going to them happy places to be with you and your creator. God or whoever. Another thing I think about is the friends who died accidentally or naturally before they could retire. Just a few months shy or even one year after. I am getting that stage 4 social security and relaxing! I’m going to at least get a couple years out of it! The more the better. With any luck they’ll be telling me to go back to work in a couple more years…but who knows…it’s all up in the air right now. I say keep going to your happy place with your fuzzy faced buddy on your back. I’m fixing to be swimming with my old Labrador in my backyard walmart pool on my floatie staring at the sky wondering if I have another summer coming. Live life to the fullest and enjoy it.
Prayers and love ur way
Beautiful lady , l feel for you so much. Having had stage 2 breast cancer with surgery chemo, radiotherapy etc. l feel that l am cured but there are days of doubt that it is truly gone. No one really knows, so your way of living with your cancer is the best way for you. Enjoy the time with your wife and that cute little pooch, it is a scary shitty disease and it is ok to cry. Sending my love and lots of positivity
I know it's hard, but try to live in the present as much as possible. That's good advice for everyone.
Wow, you’re a totally amazing, strong and courageous soul, my love thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife. I went through and thankfully beat breast cancer back in 2014 at the same time that the man I loved like a father and my mothers partner was dying from pancreatic cancer. Watching him struggle every day was so so hard, but like you he was amazing and so so courageous.
I pray/talk to God just like you were sharing. I keep it real. I hope the art brought you some enjoyment. 🙏
I live 75 metres from the sea. I love beach walking all year round. Today it is 1C. Spring is here but there is no warmth this week.
You are strong to keep getting out, having fun times walking with your dog, rather than curl up in a corner. I know only second hand form caring from my mum what strength that takes. I don’t know if I will be the same come my end, whenever that comes.
The bugger is that you are still so young and had so much left to do with your wife. Cancer is a bastard. Life is good for as long as you have it, so enjoying what you have left is vital. Being grateful for being here is fine, as you say, but also so sad that you will be leaving your loved ones. Going after the cancer with everything in the tool kit has given you and your wife more precious time, so chemo was worth it in your case.
Thanks for sharing. Best wishes from freezing NE Scotland.
Thank you for sharing. I am stuck, too. Not because of cancer but other things. But I hear you and am thinking of you and am sending you a hug.
this popped up on my recommended on TH-cam... Im so glad I come across your channel what a lovely person you are... Im heart broken and sorry you have having to go through this 😔... I hope things get better for you I really do 😪 💕xx
Your so beautiful. Brave and honest. God will protect you and love you forever 🥰😇
I pray God gives you many more days to enjoy‼️❤️
I just came across this video of yours. I know it’s not most recent; I know I know nothing except you’re having your 2 be anniversary out of the 5 YOUVE “been given” as a sort of “Grace period”. That you’re beautiful. That you have a lovely voice. That intuitively I feel close to you, and like you and want to get to know you better.
I’ve lost a LOT of loved ones over the past 14.5 yrs. it doesn’t get easier. It’s just different. Because I’m different and I’ve learned an incredible amount of important things about love, life, people, and dozens and dozens of other relatable things; all of them you’d want in a LIFE MANUAL.
I’m going to go to your channel to get to know you better .
Yes ago about 11; I started to exhibit serious mental health issues for many many reasons. ; one of them from trauma from watching loved ones pass away.; the first two being my newborn twin daughters which was before the 15 yr parameter I began this writing with. It was 1994 at that time. But it shaped me. ; some for the better but also some detrimental for me.; only though do I now know it was mainly detrimental to me as I had SERIOUS LACK of family and extended support from others in my circle and community. I was ALONE. And it took my breath away for the first two yrs. slowly due to what I can now at 48, say, the isolation I allowed to keep happening because I felt I didn’t deserve love, from God, and then of course , clearly nobody else had an obligation to love me and help me through the most painful loss I’d ever experienced out of them all up till then.
But now I’m so thankful due to people just like your beautiful self, with you soul and spirit saying a LOT very LOUDLY. But all positive and helpful and to teach me and anyone one else open to the message etc.....
So THANK YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
I am thankful that your pain is bearable right now and you are so honest and transparent and gracious etc,etc, etc.......
You’ve given me a gift more valuable than any object purchased in a storefront.
I pray I’m not the only one who found this from you. This gift you’ve chosen to share and give to others.
I don’t know you yet-
But I love who I see and hear so far. 💕🦋🥰
I understand your pain of leaving those you love and enjoy. I’m sorry:(
I listen to Lara Fabian and ball my eyes out when she sings Caruso. In fact it was last night. Everybody hurts. Another great song. Forget who sings it.
When any of us lives two years, it means there are two years less left in our lives.
I love the beach also. Not for swimming or tanning. Just walking, I feel very calm and close to God.
I live 12 miles from the coast. Not as close as it sounds. There is a beautiful beach in Malibu, that is my favorite.
I'm sorry that your having a reality day. I've never been in your shoes but I've seen and felt the pain of loss.
A big hug for you Nicole 💞 I hope you have many years to come.
I think about my mortality as I'm getting older. I think when you have a soul mate its more of emotional loss. I only have a few people who will morn my loss.
I hope tomorrow you will have a better day.
A good cry is cleansing. Maybe it would help to have this talk with your wife as she is going through fear and grief too. I went to some therapy sessions with my husband.
She brought up the fact that I would have to deal with the loss. I know that he was fearful of passing but It was helpful that he knew that I will have the hardest time.
Sorry if I made your sadness worse.
Keep up your great positives and enjoy each day. Know that you are loved.
Your friend from Skokie
I donated in honor of your
progress💥
Raw..love your videos
God bless you sweet lady and your pup.
Your insight is enlightening and powerful. And encouraging. Thank you.
You deserve the world and more 💜
I have stage 4 breast cancer an It will be 3 years is October…..an my doctor took me off everything for 6 weeks to give my body a break….I just wanted to say I no where u are coming from…..he wants me to start chemo an I said no… I have tried chemo 2 times now before an did not do good…..🙏🏻 So I am laying here watching u listening to what your saying …. I am feeling the same way…..😭 I love life so much….
Aw cute puppy in ruck sack!!! And great to be by seaside sending you all our hope and love from fellow bowl cancer survivor huge hugs paws from my two K 9 🦮🐕🐶🐶♥️🌈🌻🎁🧸🎗
I love you sweet and lovely soul.
So sorry. You're sharing helps me put in perspective my health issues. Yes, the mind can do you in. Have to have courage and positivity when you can. Mercy for you. Nice calm view in background. Doggie.😊
Thank you for trusting us
Thank you for sharing your beautiful ❤️🙏❤️
My heart goes out to you I think you are so amazing and brave I will pray for you. Thank you so much for sharing. I grew up in chgo but 3 years ago I moved when my husband died 🙏🙏❤️❤️
New subscriber here ,Sending love and strength from us both here in Carmarthen S/W Wales UK xxxxxx
I so enjoy your glasses! Great style! We get the wind like you here in Erie but have just had rain and cold. Cancer sucks. I have been there. We just attended a funeral of our best friend who battled stage four for ten years. You just can’t give in. Thinking of you. Kathy Erie pa
I will pray for you! I think working on staying present with things that bring you joy. ie.. like being with your very adorable doggy or listening to the water etc etc
Sending all the love and virtual hugs to you. What an amazing woman
oh hun. thank you for this video. xxx
❤you shine honey xx love to you a huge hug too from the UK xxx
I often think that our inborn instincts pull us down. It is the oldest and least developed part of the brain that we have in common with animals. Sometimes I find it very annoying. If it weren't for those instincts, everything would be much easier. We would not be afraid of death and the world would still be just as beautiful. Much love
Blessings always ☝🏼💯🙏❤️🥰😘
Hello it’s good to see you.
You are so amazing. This is so brave! 🤭💪 Hugs! 🙌
Sending you love from the other side of that beautiful lake
Praying for you enjoy each day moment god us good. Your videos inspire. Your little dog is very cute. God bless 🙏🙏🙏💙💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗