BBC Panorama - I Helped My Daughter Die
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 พ.ย. 2011
- What drives a mother to help her child die? For almost a year, Panorama cameras have been following Kay Gilderdale - the woman at the centre of the recent Assisted Suicide trial - over her part in the death of her daughter.
Broadcast - February 2010 - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
i think she did the right thing...nobody has the right to tell someone they have to stay alive and suffer
Who the hell do those people think they are, thinking that they have a right to decide whether the daughter lives or dies? I think everybody should have autonomy over their own lives, and it was extremely brave of the mother to help her daughter in such a way, on the daughter's terms.
Atempted murder? Its a shame. This woman loves her child, and did the only thing she could.
I will never be a parent so I cannot relate to what this woman went through. But to give up a child voluntarily must be the most extreme sacrifice a loving mother can make. I do wish her peace. Take care of each other, life is so short.
No life is not measured by quantity but quality
Agreed- She should have never been- She had to live with her daughter suffering for so many years- Then to lose her- What a horrible thing to go through for SO long! To not only lose her daughter..but then to have to suffer to try and be charged to have given her daughter a KINDNESS! WOW! They would rather her daughter have hurt herself and died painfully? This is ridiculous. If someone wants to die- It's their choice- And family who cares wants to help when you need them.
we show kindness to our pets who we love like our children but we watch our human loved ones suffer when they don't want to or have to! This is so wrong! My step dad had cancer all throughout his body and was told he had maybe 3months to live. He was in so much pain that even the pain medication didn't relieve it. He suffered more in the last 3 months of his life than all of his 65 years. He begged to be administered a lethal dose of medication but instead the health care system just watched him deteriorate and suffer. It was something horrible that he didn't have to go through. What good came out of him living those 3 months? Absolutely nothing other than withering away in a hospital bed. This mother showed love,kindness and selflessness to her daughter and her wishes. I am so happy to see that my country of Canada is looking into establishing a right to die law. It comes to late for my step dad but it will save other sick from the experience of going through the pain as well as families having to watch the deterioration of their loved ones and having the horrible memory of how they left this world, instead of how they lived it!
She suffered so long her mom cared for her she did not do anything but help her daughter.
It's a painful decision but if I was a parent and spent years watching my own child in suffer, I'd take the risk because if you're a parent, you love your child and don't want to watch or see them hurt. It brings tears to my eyes hearing that her daughter "begged" her to die because she was in so much agony.
She did the right thing.
What a strong and wonderful lady, my heart goes out to her.
Heartbreaking, I have red her book. Its understanding. I wish her love and happiness, inner peace.
she did the right thing!
What is civilized about watching a person living in horrific agony while every single part of their body slowly shuts down and tortures them for years?
How can you judge this woman for what she did? She has suffered enough!
Poor woman. May she live her life in peace.
There's something very wrong with a society that allows people to euthanize their sick and suffering pets but insists that humans be made to go on and on in agony and misery. It all goes back to the catholic church's doctrine that suicide is a cardinal sin that sends the soul straight to hell, no matter what the circumstance- which is not only ridiculous but unbiblical as well. Paul said, "Nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus." Circumstances have changed radically in the past century; science can now keep the body alive long after the quality of life has become awful, and rarely asks the question- what does this person WANT? Life is not the be all and end all.
i have such a huge respect for Lynne's mum. No mothers no fathers should go through this. RIP pretty girl as you are in a better place now.
Exactly - I totally agree. We really have no idea. You can't judge this lady or anyone like her until you've walked a mile in her shoes.
crying so hard. this women did nothing wrong.....know one understands how painful m.e is .... she wasnt living she was suffering and she deservered to be allowed to be set free. God bless this family
Her daughter is beautiful
that woman that argues against her sounds like theres something seriously wrong with her..
EVERY ONE has the right to die with dignity and pain free. It is time to change attitudes and care for the dying.
Baroness...really? You have a severe disability and you would rather suffer because "what would that do to my husband"? Do you think he would rather see you suffer? Guaranteed if you had a child who was in pain every single day you would change your mind!!
She definitely did the right thing.
I can not imagine walking in this Mom's shoes.....But if we do not own our own lives, who does?
My feelings are very mixed concerning these "Right to die" issues. The reason is because people agree that someone who's physically suffering from a terminal illness should die but, someone with an invisible illness that causes great suffering (mental illness) is not allowed to die and must be forced to stay and suffer.
I'm surprised at the number of people who unconditionally accept law. They were created by humans, and aren't perfect. What the law says is right and what is morally right are often different things. Would it be right to force her daughter to suffer in pain for the rest of her life?
No human deserved to go through what lynn went through in her life, her mother and daughter were very brave bless them and the law is extremely cruel xxxxxxx
Sadism isn't exactly civilised either mate, which is what it is to insist someone in severe pain must live even against their own wishes. And give us a break about taking the law into her own hands. The law should permit this in the first place.
I sincerely hope that you are never placed in this situation.
This poor woman. I would like for them to live a day in her or her daughters life.
My Dad 'died' 7days ago in a hospital, he can still live with 'life support' stuffs but he won't be opening his eyes or make physical responses, his blood pressure is dropping low bcoz his body won't accept blood transfusion, his body was also refusing needles for medicines, all his body was doing is breathing and it's not a pleasant sight since he was all skins and bones. So, we all decided that we have to let him rest as his last doctor suggested. My father's chance of surviving was almost to nothing, he hasn't been eating for months, it's always atleast 3types of medicines everyday and some spoonfuls of milk. He might still be alive 'til April IF he eat but he will still die as his doctors already said. And before people judge me, I don't live with my Dad after my parents separated 18yrs ago, my mother is just 'mother enough' to tell us to always visit him 'til he got sick and thin, and thinner, and thinner, and weaker and unresponsive. He lives with his first family who spoiled him, where he can eat what he wants that he shouldn't, where he can do things that he shouldn't. Anyway, it's for the best that he finally slept that day, when he made his peace with my mother. I know he also doesn't want to be financially dependent on his sister forever nor he wants us to see him in pains whenever we visit him. I'm grateful that I had him, he was not the great Dad, but I saw alot of good movies bcoz of him and I learned the importance of friendship from him. You might not have so much money but if you have so many real friends, you're the richest person in the world.
Euthanasia needs to be revisited everywhere. In this case I totally agreed with what they did. People should have the choice instead of suffering.
Gotta love these barons and baronesses....still telling the people what's best for them and that the upper classes know what's best. Seems to me that the baroness is simply motivated out of a bizarre idea that she would somehow be the first person forced to commit suicide. Guess what? The world doesn't revolve around you...just because you have loads of money to have the best care doesn't mean that others have those options or even want them if offered. Why does everyone feel that they have the right to get involved or even give an opinion in another persons death or wish to die?
One Last Goodbye was written by Kay Gilderdale. I bought the book because I could see the that the girl was in pain but had a lovely smile. It is a very sad book and I cried all the way through it ..Page 45 to page 50 is exactly what we went through in 2009 to 2010. Then at the end or 2010 our daughter was put on a heart tablet and a blood pressure tablet to higher the BP and Salt tablets and the Pill. It took 6 months to see the improvement Bedridden in 2010 and could walk for 30 minutes 2011.
I believe that assisted suicide should be accepted. It is ones own choice. Everyone dies, which means that there probably is a reason for the death. It can also reduce many of the more hurtful methods such as suicide by cop, failed suicides that causes more pain, or make criminals out of loved ones who had to make one of the most difficult choices one can make.
Currently most people who are contemplating suicide don't even tell anyone out of fear of being put into suicide watch. Instead they just secretly plan it and do it when most people least expect it. That then leaves the question of why, I thought they were doing fine, they never said anything.
It becomes an unexplained, unplanned and unexpected suicide instead of explained, planned, and expected.
At some point in the future, the hospitals are going to be overwhelmed with baby boomers and we are going to have to choose to save the lives of those who want to live and those who don't. Why waste resources on those who don't want to live and risk killing those who do want to live.
R I P Lynn
Until you can stand with her heart, having given up16 years of her life, watching, waiting, knowing that your child is suffering and has chosen of her own freewill to end their torment and misery, then you know nothing. I find it appalling that we can end the suffering of a cat or a dog but not allow that same humane end to a human. How much pain and indignity are you willing to live with before you want the same option? Just pray you will never have to live a week in my wheels, and find out.
If I was in Kay's shoes, I don't know if I could assist my daughter in suicide. A part of me says not to play "God" with someone's life, and the other part of me is a mom who wouldn't want to see my daughter suffer so much like Lynn did. Glad the court agreed and didn't convict. May the family find comfort & peace.
Out of love and compassion as a loving Mother, she did what her child wanted. Any Loving parent would have done what she had done. If your child is suffering immensely and had suffered for 17 years, you will do whatever it takes to make your own child at rest. Even if it might put you behind bars for the rest of your life, at least you know that your child is no longer suffering anymore!
I would do the same for my daughter, brave wonderful mother x
It's my life,no one elses and if I wanted to end my life,that is my choice.Animals don't have to suffer. They are lucky.The amount of people that suffer painful,prolonged deaths is unreal. Let them go
The baronesse is scared of having a choice, she do not wish to have the choice, and by all means - that iks ok, but it is unfair to pose your own egocentric opinons on others. The law should embrace both!
Very weird...you don't get charged for standing by when children are being hurt, animals and others..yet when you want to help someone who asks you- to end suffering- You get in trouble?
RIP Lynn
May you rest in peace under the wings of Gabriel
It's great that she was cleared I don't agree with suicide or assisted suicide but I understand the reasons at the end of the day she's a mother !! God bless them both !
You are an amazing mother. God forbid any of my children are ever in a situation such as this, but if they are, I hope I could be as strong as you. God bless. Rest in peace angle Lyn
I am crying, I do not have words to say anything
Bless you all thanks for sharing your experience with the world..... She will be in spirit world watching over all of her Family and Friends XXXX
You cannot know how you would react until you're living the situation. It was a freaky thing when the lights went out before Lyn completed her decision- it was like Angels were watching over her and gave her one last chance to stop and think about it. It would be the hardest thing in the world to do. .
I can't believe any one could want bureaucrats,police,politicians to have that kind of power. I have cancer and I thank god i live in a choice state. To have a govt agency tell me what to when i'm suffering and dying?
Lynn had every right to decide how much pain she was willing to be able to stand as it sends you nearly mad,some people are willing to live at any cost for fear of religion and what people think and of course you dont want to leave those who love you have to live without out you,but those who can really live walk up mountains,get out of bed and not feel pain every day of there lives,it,s easy for them to sit and judge shame on those who have never suffered, to judge.How hard it must of been for Lynn,s family to watch were body breake her,Lynn was on death row only her body was her jail.
Lynn,s mother was so very brave and showed just how much she loved her daughter, it,s letting go of a love one that shows how much you truly love that person than to be selfish, or scared and let them live a life of hell so you still have them no matter what,we dont get a choice to be born,we should be able to die when we want.
In the 1800,s people died in there 30,s before pain came into there lives children died at birth without the means doctors have to save lives today with,for one life beening saved a entire family can breake up for the time and care that is needed to look after the sick family member, can you ever know what heart breake that would bring to know you were the cause of so much sadness and you were living in a body that could not let you do the things you wanted to that you had to let others look after you.
A life of pain and struggle,let he who has not been in the shoes not judge, knowone is asking anyone to kill themselves but for those who want to some stage in there lives it should be a right, most people who wanted to end there lives 10yrs or more ago still do as pain only gets worse not better,LIVE AND LET LIVE, AND LET THOSE WHO WANT TO DIE, DIE.
It's disgusting to punish a mother for a false charge of "murder"! She didn't kill her daughter, she brought some of the morphine & then when it looked like her daughter was suffering, she made her daughter comfortable with painkillers! While bringing her the morphine was wrong, when her daughter was the one who administered the overdose, it is suicide, not murder! She should have been charged with assisting suicide, not murder! It's disgusting! I'm glad the charges were dropped!
I thought England was more compassionate and understanding for their citizens they arevdefinately more supportive than America is towards their citizens !!!!!
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis --
It is an injury to the Central Nervous System usually triggered by an infectious disease process, e.g. a virus, or by chemicals over stimulating the immune system. It is a multi-system disease, affecting not only the neurological system but also the immune, musculoskeletal, endocrine (hormonal) and cardiovascular systems.
In other words it was really painful for her.
no one knows what one would do if put in this position
Kay i am so sorry for your loss,you are the most wonderful,beautiful,caring loving,person in the world to have been brave enough to fight for the right of your innocence,you are innocent,thank you for loving your daughter so much and your family too,i am suffering,i am 56,cant live like this anymore just like your daughter,if there is any help you can assist me with on how and who to contact with this death with dignity,i am very interested,and a very strong advocate on the ability for familiies to assist ill members within reason,your the greatest,Bless you,your daughter is in the most beautiful place,when i saw your video,your daughters story is mine.
I cried when she told the guy her daughters last words.... im so happy they let her go
My home nurse from Oregon married an American and is from Mare. Its a small place and if she retired back to England she may still be taking cases, or have energy to answer questions about home care of ME survivors. Her name is Margaret.
I think its everybody’s right to choose a peaceful death……….no?
For those of you who are opposed to this , I say that your life isn’t over yet and you perhaps need to walk the walk of sufferers and so…..wait until then, you lucky things!
What does this have to do with being civilised? Can't bear to see your loved ones suffer is criminal? And why shouldn't you change the law if it's wrong? People are not stupid, acquitting someone for assisted suicide does not mean vulnerable people won't be protected anymore in the future. Laws have to be adjusted with the time, or we'd still be stuck in the middle ages.
The girl was in a vegetative state and in pain how can you stand there and feed someone crying(if that's even possible) unable to do anything.
At 27:50 you can hear Kay's heartbeat. Mine would be exactly the same if I was in her position.
If anything ever happens to me, I would like to think that someone would be allowed to help me die without risk of facing prosecution. Kay is obviously a very loving and caring person.
When it comes to laws on this sort of stuff, it's a very grey area whenever and however you view it. There is no way of changing that.
Yes, you could be right, but what about the laws of humanity and compassion!? After all, we are humans, not lifeless robots!
this video kinda made me cry god bless her
Australia was the first country to legalise physician assisted dying (PAD) many years ago in the Northern Territory under the ROTI Act (Rights Of The Terminally Ill). The Federal Parliament overturned it and since then whilst other countries such as the Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland, and some states in the US and, recently, Columbia, have all legalised voluntary euthanasia (VE) or PAD whilst Australia has gone downhill in their medical profession's violent opposition to legalising this for either those suffering with a terminal illness or from a chronically disabling (and often painful) *incurable* illness. Recently Dr. Philip Nitschke was, once again, dragged through the law courts in Australia where the medical tribunal again attempted to have him de-registered as a physician. He was the only doctor who helped those under the ROTI Act and has continued to be an advocate for the right to die with dignity particularly through Exit International via both public seminars, private workshops and clinic visits (to the homes of those too ill to travel to him). Now he's been told he can only be a medical practitioner in Australia if he practices only in the Northern Territory and doesn't prescribe any medication for people in pain, and has no real role in Exit. It's absolutely pathetic the way Australia has gone and the fact that people who need to have end of life options now cannot receive advice from Dr. Nitschke via workshops or home visits, and the only option is for those with enough money to jump through bureaucratic 'hoops' to travel to Dignitas in Switzerland (which requires a lot of money most don't have) to die far away from their loved ones in a setting far from home. Or they have to try to get the drugs to commit suicide and die without being around their loved ones or leave those persons at risk of being legally prosecuted if not actually jailed for 'aiding and abetting a suicide' or for 'manslaughter' if the loved ones are believed to have helped them to die. Australia is not the country anyone with a terminal or a chronic incurable condition causing pain and other problems (including the side-effects of pain medications themselves) wishes to be in as a result of the Australian medical profession's violent opposition to assisted suicide, along with that from certain minority (but vocal) powerful religious groups and media figures who have much influence upon the politicians in Australia.
this video kinda made me cry god bless her >3
This issue is entirely due to fiscal greed and cruelty. Trips to the Doctor can be excruciating. Competent and compassionate care at home and assurance that patients will be returned to their home and loved ones instead of being warehoused in brutal and humiliating conditions would go a long way to help people want to live, which means wanting to
endure terrible suffering because of a positive and loving quality of life. Brittle bones, severe seizures are in inconsiable suffering.
The Baroness is so clearly in danger-she is clueless, really. Pampered & sick-so NOT in touch.
the only thing she did was do what her daughter couldn't do herself. her daughter was suffering every day and I am sure she would have wanted to keep her daughter alive for as long as she could. but she left her selfish thoughts aside and made the greatest sacrifice anyone could ever dream to make.
Lynn is no longer suffering to this day. her pain is over. she is no longer wasting away, confined to a cushy prison. she had made her decision.
god bless you my thoughts are with you. You are so brave. i have a daughter and cannot imagine what you went through and especially what your precious daughter went through also. A mothers love is a special thing. You did do the right thing. sending my thoughts always take care
just like here in the u.s., people will be allowed to do this in some way, simply because of the money spent on medical care.
I just can't stand listening to Baroness Campbell, the classic conservative who stands in the way of new ideas to impose her own dated beliefs.
oh god, so brutal. bless them.
I had to make unfortunate to take my 4 mon5h old child off l I fe support. while these 2 cases are different, I can understand her mum. I wish peace to the family.
had to make the unfortunate decisions to take my 4month old chilr sorry little emotional
I looked this up in professional literature since I had no idea what it is. For those of us "across the pond" it is termed chronic fatigue syndrome (which seems to bel a poor description). The technical term is myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME)
Basically, the nervous system has problems, your cells can't utilize energy and your heart, arteries and veins have difficulty working. All of this resuts in lack of energy. You can have resulting pain. That's a very short explanation.
She did the right thing.
good for you lady
I have me/CFS/FMs She did the right thing. No one should suffer like that. Death is better. Revelation 7:17.
Euthanasia at a most unhappy situation. I want this woman to be happy.
I totally agree with you .
I don't know how they all said cheers all happily. I don't even know them but that toast made me tear up omg aha
I respect her choice and know believe she did what she had to
what to say.........
My Dad committed suicide 3 years ago. He asked me to help him... I was 19. I said no, and found him dead on a park bench the next day. I wish I was there to comfort him. I feel disgusted in myself. I'm dirt.
The medical industry in the US, is beginning to take homebound people into custody. ME is so painful that standard medical procedures can provoke metabolic paralysis if not adapted. At home with caregivers accustomed to the ME survivors' needs the protocol can be individually tailored. Unless the diagnosis is clear and support unwavering a hospital or nursing home admittance is licensee to torture. Survivors may be deprived of reflexes or obvious life signs. The outcome improves with rest.
It may be POTS Syndrome It is a rare condition. It is also rare to have siezures with it. My daughter had seizures with POTS and If we had not found a solution she would have ended up just like Lynn. In 2010 we got the wheelchair and she was outside when she had a severe siezure.. a plane went over and she put both hands over her ears and screamed out in pain. However, she is improving everyday thanks to STARS helpline for POTs.
Being American, I don't understand the diagnosis abbreviation "ME". I don't know of one in the U.S. with those symptoms. Especially the fact it affected her so quickly, starting out with cold and flu-like symptoms, quickly moving on to paralysis and affecting her whole body. I certainly am not going to judge the mom as I believe she did what her daughter wanted. And the courts believed the same... she was certainly not another Dr. Kevorkian.
what is ME?
god bless you my thought are with you
She went through enough with the false charges, to then bring assisted suicide charges would have been too much, she'd been punished enough by then. What she went through with the false charge of murder & the fear of those consequences was worse than any prison sentence for assisted suicide. And she has to live with this sadness & loss for the rest of her life. She's been punished enough.
it is a great argument r u a lawyer? i beleive in euthanasia but reading what you said i have my doubts!
Was she being treated for depression? or is her desire to take her own life not considered 'depression' because most of us believe someone so disabled has a life 'not worth living'? Was her mother given any respite, breaks away and / or support for bearing the emotional burden of looking after a child so disabled? I would not like to have been in her position; i cannot claim to know i'd do things differently, but i do wonder if this is not, at the very core, an issue of severe depression in her daughter, and severe carer fatigue in her mother
This family is nuts. ME is not an organic disorder so it all must have been functional.
But I understand that in ME a significant remission is not unusual. The girl was understandably seriously depressed. It seems the mother made an emotional decision, not rational. Don't know the details though.
Her daughter did have ME CFS but also POTS Syndrome and ED Syndrome Lots of people now have these rare Syndromes and it is important to get a Tilt Test and look up videos on You Tube showing ED Syndrome . My daughter has POTS and ED Syndrome and CF Syndrome but never had ME and some people have ME with all. .A Tilt Test Confirms Pots Syndrome if you faint every time you stand up go to an expert In Pots Syndrome.
Daughter Lynn had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, people recover every day. As a mother I would take my child to the ends of the earth to find a treatment. Of course Lynn was depressed and thinking there was no hope in the future she would want to end her life. It was up to her parents to give her the will to keep fighting, where there is life there is always hope. New treatments always become available. Does the mother deserve to go to prison? No what would that achieve.
Now ME,CFS and the rare syndrome called POTS could all be connected and some overlap the other , ED Syndrome is also connected to POTS Syndrome, Look up ED Syndrome and the signs and in three minutes you will know you have this syndrome, If you suffer from this Syndrome you must then look up an expert who knows about this and POTS Syndrome Expert must also be looked up ,There might be two in England and Three in the USA .Dr Rowe In the USA can see the link between all four of these ,look him up
As a parent I would never help my child commit suicide.. This is totally wrong whatever the circumstances.. Mothers just don'tdo this...