You probably dont give a shit but if you guys are stoned like me atm you can watch all of the latest movies on InstaFlixxer. Have been watching with my girlfriend for the last couple of days =)
Lol! 😂😂If it makes you feel any better..I had a comedy skit about being fat reccomened to me the other day. Today I started getting ARRP adds.😂😂(I'm 31) Then I got this reccomened to me. 😂😂😂 Fat. Old and awkward. 😂😂😂 Thanks alot,you tube!
Just remember, the first rule of fight club is that you don't talk about fight club. LOL. Seriously though, if you have kids or nephews or nieces, that might be just the therapy.
So basically, you're less awkward if you've had the experience and safe environment for finding out the boundaries of what is socially acceptable? Is that it?
@@BigTroubleD A place you won't be heavily judged for making mistakes. The best way to discover boundaries is to bump into them sometimes, and that's what mistakes are.
In my experience double akward person convo turns out good in the end if one manages to break the ice. Hard af with one akward and normie. Me being the akward one seems like normies reject me even when i try and even when they initiated conversation they quickly notice im "weird" and trear me bad after that.
@@eloelo6944 embrace the awkwardness. Acknowledge the fact before anyone can use it against you. More common these days, we will say something that is misunderstood. Then the other person immediately writes us off instead of taking the time to try and understand. Since they feel awkward about not knowing what to say… they go to insults, in order to make them feel better about themselves. Don’t worry later on at some point; they realize that oh that’s what that person meant I was the idiot during that convo. The ones that don’t have more issues than everyone so feel bad for those people.
@@Saveg36 Yes, and so what if that is indeed the case? I know this was not about me, but to me conversation is way to emotionally connect and bond with another person. I want to know their feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears...those things deserve to be talked about seriously. However most people will talk about EVENTS while leaving out what they felt or thought during the events, which makes it hard for me to connect. I'm just not getting any emotion from them in that way. And then I have to start asking really personal questions in an attempt to get them to open up. But ofcourse they take it as prying or me playing the psychologist. They'll feel put on the spot and quickly try to end the convo or write me off as boring, while I was actually very interested in finding out the sea of thoughts and feelings in them. This is why people claim they know each other for 10 years, but then some type of problem will make them realise they didn't know each other at all. Well you didn't connect, you were just talking about events. And yeah okay, the fact you brought them up already means they have a significance to you, but what did that event change WITHIN you? That's what I want to know.
Anyone else just awkward around bad vibes? Energy Leaches. When I’m with the right people, I be the center of attention, respected. it almost seems like thoughts and things to say just flow right out my mind without much thinking. When I step in a group that seems to reject my vibes I slowly start to feel madd awkward son. So weird how that works
Bruh this is 100% me. It's frusterating cause I know I can be a fun and interesting guy but there's just some groups where I'm too dam awkward and shy to do anything
Every time I watch Jordan Peterson's videos I start to analyse my own upbringing and behaviours and realise I am in some way dysfunctional, they are often painful to watch
Yea but having an explanation is better than continueing with a mindset that one is just " broken" we're not. And knowing the areas we were "failed" can give usbyhe oportunity to mend those areas and not repeat those mistakes on future generations👍
lmfao if you watch enough self-help videos you'll find that by "experts" definition, you're very dysfunctional person (including me lol) But somehow we're still functioning
Most people are suffering from childhood dysfunction and haven't healed or transformed in adulthood. This is a universal experience, but it affects us each differently. If you can breathe deeper and sink into the feeling, expand it physically and feel it more physically, you are on the path of transforming it. Waking up is inherently painful, you are feeling what was already there. Dive in and see what happens. I've been through it, and I would never go back to the old way.
OK - but no one forced you to watch, or stay watching!?🤯 Feeling 'attacked' vs. learning is your perspective. I have zero irrational defense or a feeling attacked reaction to watching & learning about this. Hmmm 😱
This isn’t the only cause of social awkwardness, I played with my dad as a kid and I used to be a social butterfly. Then I was forced to take adhd meds for about a year when I was in third grade, they gave me anxiety and the whole time I was on them I barely socialised with anyone. I went from being the class clown to sitting by myself at lunch. I was only on them for a year but I have never recovered from all that missed social development, I’m still socially awkward to this very day 10 years later. If any parents of kids with adhd are having a hard time handling their hyperactivity please, don’t take the easy way out. Discipline >>> meds
This is really weird considering alot of good data says medication works for far more people than discipline, the best scientists working on adhd say kids miss out on social development with out meds and that they can flourish alot more with them. Do you know what medication it was?
@@Jay-vt1mw I was on multiple, they all pretty much made me unable to socialise. I’ve started taking them again as an adult and strangely they make me more social now, I now take concerta (known as Ritalin in america). They effect adults very differently to how they effect kids
@@TonkaTitan this isn’t true at all I’m not sure where you got this from. They’re not the best thing ever but pretty much all the data says that meds are by far the most effective treatment for adhd.
Alright everyone, You are awkward because your dad didn’t play much with you in childhood in terms of physical involvement where the games are often adventurous Here’s your answer. Go now
I remember the first time I was invited to play some backyard football. It was too late. I was like 10 already without any rough play before in my life. So, people bumping into me was too weird for me by then. I don’t fault my parents. They had multiple jobs in a new strange country. I can’t imagine their stress at the time. But it does suck to be the product of that. The thing now is to make the best of it.
@@SunSunSunn I’m no Peterson but that just means something else went wrong in your childhood. Maybe a traumatic experience or the lack of friends during early childhood. I myself grew up in a fucked up family and so I get anxiety when meeting new people but I still manage to come off as confident and social. It’s all about acting. Copy other confident people and fuse the skills to urself. In a way find yourself in others.
I love JP so much. he has helped me in so many ways. He's inspiring to say the least. He really cares so much about the quality of his teachings. He puts his whole heart into it - you can tell. This whole video has good information in it, and that last tidbit he through in there about how the brain anatomy is not fixed and well known at all. its mostly all for anatomical structure convenience. how the brain is very much "terra incognita" really kind of blew my mind. it blows my mind how much we think we know about how we work as human beings, but we hardly have a grasp on it
That is obviously a factor but not the sole one. My brother rough housed a lot with his two sons. One is fine, but the other is awkward. I think genetic and temperamental factors also have a part to play as well.
You need to focus externally. When you are talking to people focus on what they are saying and doing. When you focus on yourself and worry about how you appear, you will make yourself nervous and this often causes your mind to go blank. Focusing on others will allows you to have natural conversation. You should read the book “overcoming social anxiety and shyness” by Gillian Butler. Trust me, you don’t want to live with this your entire life, you will end up very lonely and it limits opportunity. It isn’t hard to overcome. And don’t worry about not thinking you are interesting… there are really boring people that talk constantly but have nothing to say and I am sure most people aren’t judging them for that like you think they judge you. People don’t pay close attention to others, so your fear is irrational.
Yeah, I’m active in socializing when it comes to gaming / online but whenever it’s meeting up face-to-face with people that’s when I tend to get nervous, especially with women! I like being in solitude and have been in solitude these past few months since I stopped talking / playing with my friends and focused my time in college. But i want to socialize now, meet new people, make new friends, and be in a relationship. You make a good point and I always feel like I always need to say the right words in order for that person to stay interested / not get bored with me and I keep overthinking what I’m about to say to other people whom I first meet and that makes me feel lost in the conversation so most of the time I listen and stay quiet. That book you recommended is unavailable in my country but I will see if I could get my hands on that book, i might order it in amazon. I have read books but most of them are self help, psychology, spiritual, business, investing book. I will give this book a try.
Just get some up and down quarks, glue them together with gluons and have some electrons circling them. Get enough of them and put them together in the right way and voila, you get you.
@@BboyKeny if you’re referring to consciousness when you say “you get you”, then I’m not buying it. There’s something more than matter that goes into us.
@@BboyKeny Makes all sense summed up everything please someone give this man a nobel prize for solving one of humans greatest questions and finding the soul: a bunch of stuff silver taped together
I love this excerpt. So important that we develop with play as one of our building blocks. I was fortunate I had a lot of fun play growing up. I wasn’t aware of the great importance it “played” in my life😁. I love philosophy, and I’m a painter. I’ve always been creative, and I mentor young women. Every day is an adventure because of how I view it.Very grateful.
As a young child my dad would hold me down so I couldn't move. It wasn't fun, it was terrifying. His adult weight was on me and I couldn't breathe and got really overheated trying to escape. He told me, "learn control" and would only let me go when I stopped panicking and would calm down. I wasn't a bad kid that was being punished for something. This was just his twisted form of Play. I guess I sometimes wonder how this has effected me in adulthood. I feel like it perhaps made me less confident and less likely to stand up for myself. I'm surprised I'm as normal as I am considering things. I do stay pretty calm under stressful conditions however.
I feel like for me I prefer to be awkward and quiet than to be exposed to things that upset me. I always want to act on what I don't like, or what I feel could harm others, and so I want to confront the source however this is difficult when it is; my teacher, peers, parents. I wonder if I should try and be less judgemental, but then when I don't judge anyone it can be difficult to care about anything or hold to a sense of morality. Sometimes it's easier to present a quiet idea than to lay all the emotion out in front of you. Then you begin to think that person is you and you can't be loud around the people you do like. I can be afraid of what would come out if I wasn't quiet, so it's a safer option. Free thinking is discouraged and sometimes speaking the truth is a dangerous game. When I do care it can be overwhelming. I can confirm that I did partake in a lot of "rough and tumble" though so I can get over it ahaha.
I was plunged into a severe depression, the 2nd of 2 that I'd had in a 5 month period. I'd never been seriously depressed before these 2. I went to a shrink. He told me I had anxiety disorder. This was immediately interesting because I'd wondered why my social life was uniformly awkward. And I reviewed many of the awkward moments in my life and I understood what happened. I trip out. My brain goes a little bonkers ( it feels like it's floating ) resulting in me saying the wrong thing, and having an inappropriate or unsympathetic attitude. Also, in interpersonal intimacy, I am gripped with unknown fear. And when I trip, almost always I say the wrong thing and people either get angry, sad or fearful of me. And then I considered my parents, and from childhood I knew they were a little crazy. Now, it is probable that both had anxiety disorder. A double whammy. And I suspect other relatives have it, too. I'm the only one in my family that has ever visited a psychiatrist I think. I think the causes of awkwardness is not limited to environmental factors. It can be inherited.
@@eloelo6944 - There are people who get along with other people, and don't get weird when emotions run high. I do wonder what the ratio of crazoids to normal folk are. 50-50? From the stories of my family, and what I've witnessed, I reckon this abnormality of anxiety disorder goes back centuries, and is probably part of the reason why my great-great-grandfather moved to the U.S. in the 1st place.
I was never able to explain my feeling and social anxiety and this is it. This is exactly how I feel. I simplified it to a fear of rejection but it’s more than that. This is the reason the fear of rejection occurs in the first place. It’s almost like I haven’t been socialized correctly and I don’t know how to form a relationship or start talking to strangers to get there in the first place
@@bluemountainw1789 - I have that same feeling of not being trained to be social. After so many rejections, you come to expect it. This kind of feeling gripped me early in life, as early as the 3rd grade.
@Iline Cuty - I have not considered this. I will look into the disorder and see if it pertains to me. It might be helpful. Looking back, there have been times where I've experienced irrational anxiety around people, and it makes for awkward interactions, for certain. I do know that I am triggered by other people's emotions. I usually enjoy talking with people. I've been to parties and concerts and in groups and crowds and never got depressed. Whenever I was in a fight with a person, I didn't feel depressed. And I always felt good having sex. So, in normal interactions, I feel normal, usually. It's the emotions that trip me into a depression. Or at least, that is the pattern so far. I've been around emotional people and noticed how it affects me, and so I've learned to make myself scarce in emotional situations. I've learned to pay attention to myself in social situations. Thanks for the suggestion, and it's another thing to explore.
My father passed away before I turned 2, and as a result, my psychosocial development was significantly hindered. The kicker is that it gets exponentially more difficult to recondition yourself the older you get.
This is so true. I used to always make my nieces wrestle their brother. I would always play with them, like picking them up and throwing them around, grabbing them by their feet and spinning them around; stuff like that. It’s the same thing my brothers did to me when I was their age (about 4-6). But my other brother’s kid is completely different. He didn’t really get much play like that because they isolated him from others. When I would pick him up and play with him his body was unbelievably stiff. It’s was honestly scary.. My nieces are so loose and nimble in their bodies. One of them, when I pick her up, she goes completely limp, it’s the cutest thing ever. Like I’ll pick her up with my hands on her back, like how you hold a baby, and she would completely throw her head back and loose like a noodle. One day, I made my nephew wrestle with my nieces and I noticed his body wasn’t so stiff anymore (he’s only 5 or 6). At first he didn’t really know how to act. He was being way too aggressive and very defensive. But then the more we did it the more he was starting to have fun. Like you could see the discomfort on his face turn to happiness and playfulness the more he wrestled with them. I announced them like they were professional fighters and they loved it haha. “Introducing first, fighting out of the red corner, he holds a professional record of 1 win and 1 loss, standing 3 feet 2 inches tall, ADAMMMM!” They love it haha and sometimes when they come over they ask to wrestle.
So this explains why children growing up with single moms are so weak and fragile (on average, yes there are exeptions), hence everyone getting so offended these days. No father figure=No male influence to toughen them up with rough play. It's all so obvious now, when he explains it so clearly.
I suppose that’s true for females too. My dad taught me how to punch properly. I don’t throw “girl” punches. I only had real life use for this once, but I was glad I did!
I have no memories of wrestling with my dad as a kid (as great a dad as he was) but I sure as hell wrestled my little brother and he is way less awkward than I am. Just a little anecdote..
I had a 2 year old cousin once look me straight in the face, smiled, and poked me in the eye. I was like you slick ... 😑 As I cried like a ... Any other resolution would have been awkward.
The people I've met with the most limited social exposure and range tend to be most likely to call me or a situation awkward. I also find there are plenty of situations going neglected or mistreated and I handle it bluntly and right away, which is another reason some people feel awkward. You can project on another person what you feel. And I do see value in physical challenging play, DEEP play as I call it. I've definitely become more capable by doing that as an adult after missing out in childhood. But I have never cared about if an experience is awkward. My favorite experiences with people feel much closer and more intimate when I show acceptance and really immerse into an experience that some people resist as "awkward".
I think anxiety is mainly present when we feel that people are judging us all the time. We can't change that people will judge each other anyways. So on the other hand we shouldn't try to take control about sth. we can't change. With other words: Try to give a f*ck about the personal judgement of people and your anxiety will shrink every day a bit more.
@@BullsBooyachaka if you can't bring yourself not to give a fk. Then remember the spotlight effect; you may feel like you're in the spotlight (and being judged by everyone else) but everyone else also feels like they're in the same spotlight, too preoccupied with thinking about how people will be judging them to judge others. So whilst you may notice your mistakes/shortcomings others probably don't.
Too much pride causes awkwardness. Pride can come from wounding, but is basically too much self focus. Pride can be chipped away if you spend time with Jesus reading the Word, Praying, worshipping and especially fasting.
people get so wrapped up in their own perception they fail to realize that with the amount of humans that exists, there is no one reason why people are "awkward".
I have a 15yr old daughter that has been awkward since preschool, her father has always been awkward. Our son however is not. I'm conflicted to say the least.
My husband isn't the type but my Dad though plays with my kids. God bless him for that. Being a girl, I'm awkward around him but he's so good with my kids..
his lectures have changed many peoples lives specifically by improving their behavior (including my own), I'd recommend looking up his website and podcasts.
Yes..JP once said ...and I paraphrase -if you cant negotiate your situation you are a slave. Then I asked a raise from my boss, and got it, I didn't want to be a slave at work so I negotiated.
...because punching you in the face is the morally correct reaction to your very presence, but is an action forbidden by law; it's an awkward situation
If rough and tumble play helps make you more comfortable with the abilites of your body, does martial arts, especially grappling types, help improve that ability maybe even after childhood?
I got three sons, I played with them exactly discribed here, my older one loved it so did my younger one, but middle one thought I might hurt him, so will get serious, so I usually don't play with him too rough. But they were all played.
I might sound dumb here but I've been called awkward by a guy during our first time meeting with our mutuals. I just let him have it because the guy is known for not have doing much and gone very little outside his community while I've met people from many cultures playing sports around the country and out. that and he talks highly about himself above everyone else almost every time. of course he's only like that with his circle. alone though, he's got nothing on me
I am awkward because I have no positive qualities about myself. I have nothing in common with other people to relate to. I am defiant, don't like or trust people, anti-social, and the only thing I enjoy in life anymore is playing video games.
@@carmenchantilly9049 wow such sound fucking advice, just stop drinking guys, just stop smoking weed guys. Wow thanks dude didn’t know how easy it was to kick the thing keeping my sanity in check
I always hated seeing men have "rough n tumble" play with kids because men tend to not be mature enough to say, "No, that's the end of it!". I seriously don't think it's a good thing because ultimately the man usually gets so frustrated that he overpowers and gets too rough rather than authoritatively saying that's enough. Then I ended up having to tell them to fuck off I've seen this happen over and over with in-laws, other friends, and my own family, and heard stories. Wth is that? Why are they like that? I don't buy it.
![กิโลเมตรที่ 0 เดินทางรอบโลกไม่ใช้เครื่องบิน [Around The World Ep. 1]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/toJG9oofLFY/mqdefault.jpg)
Your Identity Is Intertwined With Your Future Self (It's a great talk):
th-cam.com/video/N8yZLTzKYkc/w-d-xo.html
):
Lol
You probably dont give a shit but if you guys are stoned like me atm you can watch all of the latest movies on InstaFlixxer. Have been watching with my girlfriend for the last couple of days =)
@Avery Marcus Yup, been using instaflixxer for months myself :)
Thanks TH-cam. I can take a hint...
Lol
Lmao
Lol! 😂😂If it makes you feel any better..I had a comedy skit about being fat reccomened to me the other day. Today I started getting ARRP adds.😂😂(I'm 31)
Then I got this reccomened to me. 😂😂😂
Fat. Old and awkward. 😂😂😂 Thanks alot,you tube!
Haha holy shit
Dark humor
That's it. I'm going out on the street to wrestle some random guy for that rough and tumble play that I missed in my younger years.
me too. lets meet?
Just remember, the first rule of fight club is that you don't talk about fight club. LOL.
Seriously though, if you have kids or nephews or nieces, that might be just the therapy.
You can exercise rough and tumble play with contact sports to some extent. A pick-up game of basketball with friends is a good example.
Jiu Jitsu
Let's meet bruh, for real.
So basically, you're less awkward if you've had the experience and safe environment for finding out the boundaries of what is socially acceptable? Is that it?
Yeah if you wanna reduce it to vague words. Those words wouldn't be as comprehensible if we hadn't watched this video to derive context.
@@pepperparadox7667 I know? I was only wondering if I understood his point correctly.
@@soupisgood_2080 oh bet.
Well I’m fucked. Safe environment? What’s that.
@@BigTroubleD A place you won't be heavily judged for making mistakes. The best way to discover boundaries is to bump into them sometimes, and that's what mistakes are.
I love the double awkward person’s convo. Where both walk away wondering who was the awkward one
In my experience double akward person convo turns out good in the end if one manages to break the ice. Hard af with one akward and normie. Me being the akward one seems like normies reject me even when i try and even when they initiated conversation they quickly notice im "weird" and trear me bad after that.
@@eloelo6944 embrace the awkwardness. Acknowledge the fact before anyone can use it against you. More common these days, we will say something that is misunderstood. Then the other person immediately writes us off instead of taking the time to try and understand. Since they feel awkward about not knowing what to say… they go to insults, in order to make them feel better about themselves. Don’t worry later on at some point; they realize that oh that’s what that person meant I was the idiot during that convo. The ones that don’t have more issues than everyone so feel bad for those people.
@@eloelo6944 I think you expect too much out of a conversation that’s why you feel awkward.
@@Saveg36 Yes, and so what if that is indeed the case? I know this was not about me, but to me conversation is way to emotionally connect and bond with another person. I want to know their feelings, thoughts, dreams, fears...those things deserve to be talked about seriously. However most people will talk about EVENTS while leaving out what they felt or thought during the events, which makes it hard for me to connect. I'm just not getting any emotion from them in that way. And then I have to start asking really personal questions in an attempt to get them to open up. But ofcourse they take it as prying or me playing the psychologist. They'll feel put on the spot and quickly try to end the convo or write me off as boring, while I was actually very interested in finding out the sea of thoughts and feelings in them. This is why people claim they know each other for 10 years, but then some type of problem will make them realise they didn't know each other at all. Well you didn't connect, you were just talking about events. And yeah okay, the fact you brought them up already means they have a significance to you, but what did that event change WITHIN you? That's what I want to know.
Anyone else just awkward around bad vibes? Energy Leaches. When I’m with the right people, I be the center of attention, respected. it almost seems like thoughts and things to say just flow right out my mind without much thinking. When I step in a group that seems to reject my vibes I slowly start to feel madd awkward son. So weird how that works
Straight up.
Bruh this is 100% me. It's frusterating cause I know I can be a fun and interesting guy but there's just some groups where I'm too dam awkward and shy to do anything
Yes.
YES this 100%.
This is so true. I’m already awkward but there are some groups that are just extra special you just want to disappear.
Every time I watch Jordan Peterson's videos I start to analyse my own upbringing and behaviours and realise I am in some way dysfunctional, they are often painful to watch
you are not the only one
Yea but having an explanation is better than continueing with a mindset that one is just " broken" we're not. And knowing the areas we were "failed" can give usbyhe oportunity to mend those areas and not repeat those mistakes on future generations👍
Don't be pained. Everyone is flawed. Use it to grow. You didn't have control over your upbringing but you have control over your life now.
lmfao if you watch enough self-help videos you'll find that by "experts" definition, you're very dysfunctional person (including me lol)
But somehow we're still functioning
Most people are suffering from childhood dysfunction and haven't healed or transformed in adulthood. This is a universal experience, but it affects us each differently.
If you can breathe deeper and sink into the feeling, expand it physically and feel it more physically, you are on the path of transforming it.
Waking up is inherently painful, you are feeling what was already there.
Dive in and see what happens. I've been through it, and I would never go back to the old way.
I watch JP videos for many deeply personal reasons. Discussions about tickle-induced ultrasonic rat laughter is only one.
Y e s.
I have pet rats and I'm awkward. Is this a coincidence?
@@andreaberumen6063 haha
@@breenie_shaye do you tickle the rat?
@@andreasrasmussen6362 Of course. They love it.
I did not open up the TH-cam app to be so personally attacked like this, and THAT'S THAT!
Suck it up, Bucko!
Reading this in JP voice is so good 😍
Information, not a personal attack.
😂😂
OK - but no one forced you to watch, or stay watching!?🤯 Feeling 'attacked' vs. learning is your perspective. I have zero irrational defense or a feeling attacked reaction to watching & learning about this. Hmmm 😱
This isn’t the only cause of social awkwardness, I played with my dad as a kid and I used to be a social butterfly. Then I was forced to take adhd meds for about a year when I was in third grade, they gave me anxiety and the whole time I was on them I barely socialised with anyone. I went from being the class clown to sitting by myself at lunch. I was only on them for a year but I have never recovered from all that missed social development, I’m still socially awkward to this very day 10 years later. If any parents of kids with adhd are having a hard time handling their hyperactivity please, don’t take the easy way out. Discipline >>> meds
This is really weird considering alot of good data says medication works for far more people than discipline, the best scientists working on adhd say kids miss out on social development with out meds and that they can flourish alot more with them.
Do you know what medication it was?
@@Jay-vt1mw I was on multiple, they all pretty much made me unable to socialise. I’ve started taking them again as an adult and strangely they make me more social now, I now take concerta (known as Ritalin in america). They effect adults very differently to how they effect kids
@@Jay-vt1mw ADHD meds shut off the play circuit in kids. It's not good, so glad I didn't take them. ADHD kids need sports with discipline.
@@TonkaTitan this isn’t true at all I’m not sure where you got this from.
They’re not the best thing ever but pretty much all the data says that meds are by far the most effective treatment for adhd.
Summary- Kids who have rough and tumble played with their fathers are less likely to be awkward physically.
So are women more likely to be awkward physically? Cuz dads are less likely to go rough on girls
@@NegativeAccelerate No.
not necessarily with their fathers but with kids especially before the age of 4
@@NegativeAccelerate Boys and girls develop differently...
Thank you for bottom-lining it. Cheers!
Alright everyone,
You are awkward because your dad didn’t play much with you in childhood in terms of physical involvement where the games are often adventurous
Here’s your answer. Go now
Helpfull. Now what to do to un-awkward myself.
Holy crap, that's so true of me. So simple and just wow!
I remember the first time I was invited to play some backyard football. It was too late. I was like 10 already without any rough play before in my life. So, people bumping into me was too weird for me by then. I don’t fault my parents. They had multiple jobs in a new strange country. I can’t imagine their stress at the time. But it does suck to be the product of that. The thing now is to make the best of it.
thats cap, my dad and i used to play hella sports. still ended up awkward lol
@@SunSunSunn I’m no Peterson but that just means something else went wrong in your childhood. Maybe a traumatic experience or the lack of friends during early childhood.
I myself grew up in a fucked up family and so I get anxiety when meeting new people but I still manage to come off as confident and social. It’s all about acting. Copy other confident people and fuse the skills to urself. In a way find yourself in others.
I love JP so much. he has helped me in so many ways. He's inspiring to say the least. He really cares so much about the quality of his teachings. He puts his whole heart into it - you can tell.
This whole video has good information in it, and that last tidbit he through in there about how the brain anatomy is not fixed and well known at all. its mostly all for anatomical structure convenience. how the brain is very much "terra incognita" really kind of blew my mind. it blows my mind how much we think we know about how we work as human beings, but we hardly have a grasp on it
That is obviously a factor but not the sole one. My brother rough housed a lot with his two sons. One is fine, but the other is awkward. I think genetic and temperamental factors also have a part to play as well.
So many factors go into a person.
Im socially awkward tbh. really hard to keep the conversation going because i dont know what to say.
What are your interest yo?
@@randygraham7966 I have a lot of interests.
Do you have one that you feel that you truly can grow with and become better then you are now
You need to focus externally. When you are talking to people focus on what they are saying and doing. When you focus on yourself and worry about how you appear, you will make yourself nervous and this often causes your mind to go blank. Focusing on others will allows you to have natural conversation.
You should read the book “overcoming social anxiety and shyness” by Gillian Butler. Trust me, you don’t want to live with this your entire life, you will end up very lonely and it limits opportunity. It isn’t hard to overcome.
And don’t worry about not thinking you are interesting… there are really boring people that talk constantly but have nothing to say and I am sure most people aren’t judging them for that like you think they judge you. People don’t pay close attention to others, so your fear is irrational.
Yeah, I’m active in socializing when it comes to gaming / online but whenever it’s meeting up face-to-face with people that’s when I tend to get nervous, especially with women! I like being in solitude and have been in solitude these past few months since I stopped talking / playing with my friends and focused my time in college. But i want to socialize now, meet new people, make new friends, and be in a relationship. You make a good point and I always feel like I always need to say the right words in order for that person to stay interested / not get bored with me and I keep overthinking what I’m about to say to other people whom I first meet and that makes me feel lost in the conversation so most of the time I listen and stay quiet.
That book you recommended is unavailable in my country but I will see if I could get my hands on that book, i might order it in amazon. I have read books but most of them are self help, psychology, spiritual, business, investing book. I will give this book a try.
Realizations pouring in ... Inner child healing happening rn 😭 so many misunderstandings bc idk how to play smh
I’ve never clicked on a video so fast
True
lol same
I tried to click it fast but I dropped my phone and fell down trying to catch it...
are you me
Of course you're a Joshua
Every Jordan Peterson video I watch shows me something about me that sucks and I'm slowly piecing together how I'm a failure of a human being
Same now I'm questioning my existence and every thought and action
The complexity of the brain terrifies me.
Just get some up and down quarks, glue them together with gluons and have some electrons circling them.
Get enough of them and put them together in the right way and voila, you get you.
Kenny Omg what do you mean?
@@BboyKeny if you’re referring to consciousness when you say “you get you”, then I’m not buying it. There’s something more than matter that goes into us.
@@BboyKeny Makes all sense summed up everything please someone give this man a nobel prize for solving one of humans greatest questions and finding the soul: a bunch of stuff silver taped together
Complexity is not needed. Human nature is simplicity. Don't think, just act.
Me at 2am: fascinating 👁👄👁
I love this excerpt. So important that we develop with play as one of our building blocks. I was fortunate I had a lot of fun play growing up. I wasn’t aware of the great importance it “played” in my life😁. I love philosophy, and I’m a painter. I’ve always been creative, and I mentor young women. Every day is an adventure because of how I view it.Very grateful.
As a young child my dad would hold me down so I couldn't move. It wasn't fun, it was terrifying. His adult weight was on me and I couldn't breathe and got really overheated trying to escape. He told me, "learn control" and would only let me go when I stopped panicking and would calm down. I wasn't a bad kid that was being punished for something. This was just his twisted form of Play. I guess I sometimes wonder how this has effected me in adulthood. I feel like it perhaps made me less confident and less likely to stand up for myself. I'm surprised I'm as normal as I am considering things. I do stay pretty calm under stressful conditions however.
I feel like for me I prefer to be awkward and quiet than to be exposed to things that upset me. I always want to act on what I don't like, or what I feel could harm others, and so I want to confront the source however this is difficult when it is; my teacher, peers, parents. I wonder if I should try and be less judgemental, but then when I don't judge anyone it can be difficult to care about anything or hold to a sense of morality. Sometimes it's easier to present a quiet idea than to lay all the emotion out in front of you. Then you begin to think that person is you and you can't be loud around the people you do like. I can be afraid of what would come out if I wasn't quiet, so it's a safer option. Free thinking is discouraged and sometimes speaking the truth is a dangerous game. When I do care it can be overwhelming. I can confirm that I did partake in a lot of "rough and tumble" though so I can get over it ahaha.
I was plunged into a severe depression, the 2nd of 2 that I'd had in a 5 month period. I'd never been seriously depressed before these 2.
I went to a shrink. He told me I had anxiety disorder. This was immediately interesting because I'd wondered why my social life was
uniformly awkward. And I reviewed many of the awkward moments in my life and I understood what happened. I trip out.
My brain goes a little bonkers ( it feels like it's floating ) resulting in me saying the wrong thing, and having an inappropriate
or unsympathetic attitude. Also, in interpersonal intimacy, I am gripped with unknown fear. And when I trip, almost always
I say the wrong thing and people either get angry, sad or fearful of me. And then I considered my parents, and from childhood
I knew they were a little crazy. Now, it is probable that both had anxiety disorder. A double whammy. And I suspect other
relatives have it, too. I'm the only one in my family that has ever visited a psychiatrist I think. I think the causes of awkwardness
is not limited to environmental factors. It can be inherited.
Lmao its like you are writing my biography
@@eloelo6944 - There are people who get along with other people, and don't get weird when emotions run high. I do wonder what the ratio of crazoids to normal folk are. 50-50? From the stories of my family, and what I've witnessed, I reckon this abnormality of anxiety disorder goes back centuries, and is probably part of the reason why my great-great-grandfather moved to the U.S. in the 1st place.
I was never able to explain my feeling and social anxiety and this is it. This is exactly how I feel. I simplified it to a fear of rejection but it’s more than that. This is the reason the fear of rejection occurs in the first place. It’s almost like I haven’t been socialized correctly and I don’t know how to form a relationship or start talking to strangers to get there in the first place
@@bluemountainw1789 - I have that same feeling of not being trained to be social. After so many rejections, you come to expect it. This kind of feeling gripped me early in life, as early as the 3rd grade.
@Iline Cuty - I have not considered this. I will look into the disorder and see if it pertains to me. It might be helpful. Looking back, there have been times where I've experienced irrational anxiety around people, and it makes for awkward interactions, for certain. I do know that I am triggered by other people's emotions. I usually enjoy talking with people. I've been to parties and concerts and in groups and crowds and never got depressed. Whenever I was in a fight with a person, I didn't feel depressed. And I always felt good having sex. So, in normal interactions, I feel normal, usually. It's the emotions that trip me into a depression. Or at least, that is the pattern so far. I've been around emotional people and noticed how it affects me, and so I've learned to make myself scarce in emotional situations. I've learned to pay attention to myself in social situations. Thanks for the suggestion, and it's another thing to explore.
Why did that make me deeply sad that my dad didn’t play with me like that lol its so awkward to even hug my dad in my adult life
I know the feeling.....
@@Ken-iu2zp sorry
@@ghadixsa same to you....I could relate though.
I was play fighting with my dad when I was about 7 or so. I ended up kneeing him in the groin. That was the 1st time I knew that was a no no. Ahah
I haven’t even gotten to the video yet, don’t know if this has any context, it just looks like a super meta awkward joke
Bruuuh, I went for there when I was fighting my big bro when young. I never knew it was a bad place until then😂
You established dominance.
@@MrVoraxTranstellaris only the T Pose establishes dominance. Nothing else.
My source is personal. It works everywhere
@@mickj9203 What's the T Pose?
My father passed away before I turned 2, and as a result, my psychosocial development was significantly hindered. The kicker is that it gets exponentially more difficult to recondition yourself the older you get.
This is so true. I used to always make my nieces wrestle their brother. I would always play with them, like picking them up and throwing them around, grabbing them by their feet and spinning them around; stuff like that. It’s the same thing my brothers did to me when I was their age (about 4-6). But my other brother’s kid is completely different. He didn’t really get much play like that because they isolated him from others. When I would pick him up and play with him his body was unbelievably stiff. It’s was honestly scary.. My nieces are so loose and nimble in their bodies. One of them, when I pick her up, she goes completely limp, it’s the cutest thing ever. Like I’ll pick her up with my hands on her back, like how you hold a baby, and she would completely throw her head back and loose like a noodle. One day, I made my nephew wrestle with my nieces and I noticed his body wasn’t so stiff anymore (he’s only 5 or 6). At first he didn’t really know how to act. He was being way too aggressive and very defensive. But then the more we did it the more he was starting to have fun. Like you could see the discomfort on his face turn to happiness and playfulness the more he wrestled with them. I announced them like they were professional fighters and they loved it haha. “Introducing first, fighting out of the red corner, he holds a professional record of 1 win and 1 loss, standing 3 feet 2 inches tall, ADAMMMM!” They love it haha and sometimes when they come over they ask to wrestle.
5:53 this man just explained my whole life
So this explains why children growing up with single moms are so weak and fragile (on average, yes there are exeptions), hence everyone getting so offended these days. No father figure=No male influence to toughen them up with rough play. It's all so obvious now, when he explains it so clearly.
I suppose that’s true for females too. My dad taught me how to punch properly. I don’t throw “girl” punches. I only had real life use for this once, but I was glad I did!
@@ErikaLaGrande Exactly. This applies to both men and females growing up.
I understand why Lebron is soft when it comes to calls
I have no memories of wrestling with my dad as a kid (as great a dad as he was) but I sure as hell wrestled my little brother and he is way less awkward than I am. Just a little anecdote..
Always fun to be zinged by professor Peterson
Son, its time for our weekly wrestle session
"No dad it hurts"
Its called the piledriver, you're gonna thank me one day
This felt illegal to read
"Try this one out with me, son, Peterson recommends it -- it's called the Canadian destroyer!"
@@sassswoosh5136 lmaooooooo
This made me laugh pretty hard
The part at the end made me think of a fun fact. The brain is the only thing that named itself.
Wtf it's true.
@Some Words it's still not the people who change their names but their brain who chosed the other name
does that make the brain God?
@@gmma125_5 God is an omnipotent extra dimensional deity, so no.
Dude that's like the deepest shit I heard.
I had a 2 year old cousin once look me straight in the face, smiled, and poked me in the eye. I was like you slick ... 😑 As I cried like a ... Any other resolution would have been awkward.
2 year old would have learned what a roundhouse kick looks like that day
I laughed pretty hard at this comment.. lmao
Lol you got owned
The people I've met with the most limited social exposure and range tend to be most likely to call me or a situation awkward. I also find there are plenty of situations going neglected or mistreated and I handle it bluntly and right away, which is another reason some people feel awkward. You can project on another person what you feel.
And I do see value in physical challenging play, DEEP play as I call it. I've definitely become more capable by doing that as an adult after missing out in childhood. But I have never cared about if an experience is awkward. My favorite experiences with people feel much closer and more intimate when I show acceptance and really immerse into an experience that some people resist as "awkward".
I’ve rough and tumbled with my brother and friends my whole adolescent and some of my teenage life. But my anxiety makes me awkward ):
Same here. Anxiety is my problem.
@MrLeonthepro I appreciate that
I think anxiety is mainly present when we feel that people are judging us all the time. We can't change that people will judge each other anyways. So on the other hand we shouldn't try to take control about sth. we can't change. With other words: Try to give a f*ck about the personal judgement of people and your anxiety will shrink every day a bit more.
@@BullsBooyachaka if you can't bring yourself not to give a fk. Then remember the spotlight effect; you may feel like you're in the spotlight (and being judged by everyone else) but everyone else also feels like they're in the same spotlight, too preoccupied with thinking about how people will be judging them to judge others. So whilst you may notice your mistakes/shortcomings others probably don't.
Sick of this guy attacking me
Lol
I had zero of that as a kid. Maybe that's why I still struggle socially
Same
Act like the person you want to be and forget the loser you were yesterday
I feel like social anxiety is really really just tied to your self esteem and self efficacy
i am awkward as i wasn't thrown around up in the air back when i was 2-3. its true though my father used to live outside the country due to his work
Too much pride causes awkwardness. Pride can come from wounding, but is basically too much self focus. Pride can be chipped away if you spend time with Jesus reading the Word, Praying, worshipping and especially fasting.
He has an answer to every question.
I didn’t have a father growing up and never had rough and tumble play. Makes sense!
I can do that for you.
Willy Wonka watch it bud
@@kilehillson2743 relax white night
@@PrankCallV1 relax, radioactive behemoth
I LOVE BEING PURPLE!!
people get so wrapped up in their own perception they fail to realize that with the amount of humans that exists, there is no one reason why people are "awkward".
I have a 15yr old daughter that has been awkward since preschool, her father has always been awkward. Our son however is not.
I'm conflicted to say the least.
Basic motivations including emotions...... , when basic needs are satisfied then..... Hypothalamus - exploration.... Openness... cognitive....
I feel attacked by TH-cam on a daily basis.
Stop going on TH-cam
Now it's clear you already have several generations who grow up dadless. They are aggressive, without control, knowing no consequences.
Awkwardness stems from lack of exposure
I couldn’t even have “rough and tumble” play even if I had wanted to - I had cancer at one years old. I’m also autistic and didn’t know for 27 years.
My husband isn't the type but my Dad though plays with my kids. God bless him for that. Being a girl, I'm awkward around him but he's so good with my kids..
has anyone ever improved their personal behavior or more specifically social skills after watching JP for any amount of time? I'm curious
his lectures have changed many peoples lives specifically by improving their behavior (including my own), I'd recommend looking up his website and podcasts.
Yes..JP once said ...and I paraphrase -if you cant negotiate your situation you are a slave. Then I asked a raise from my boss, and got it, I didn't want to be a slave at work so I negotiated.
He's so brilliant!!
when 2 awkward people come together, it ends up being less awkward
nope
...because punching you in the face is the morally correct reaction to your very presence, but is an action forbidden by law; it's an awkward situation
Note to self: play fight with kids to be less awkward 🥵
Ah this must be about someone like me
😂🤗
that's a weird thing to say
@@TJ-kk5zf weird yes that's why its awkward
Everyone can be alittle awkward at times but when it happens too much you have a problem
This didn’t appear in my recommendations
I specifically searched for it
Don’t put up with awkward people …
Just warn them - if you don’t change your ways I’m gonna severely hurt you
My housemate lacks disgust. Its really weird. I wonder what development stage she missed. She is a covert narc.
I don't understand
TH-cam must have been listening to me during my last meeting
I love this man.
I'm awkward but I behave that way so others can't dominate or control me
If rough and tumble play helps make you more comfortable with the abilites of your body, does martial arts, especially grappling types, help improve that ability maybe even after childhood?
I got three sons, I played with them exactly discribed here, my older one loved it so did my younger one, but middle one thought I might hurt him, so will get serious, so I usually don't play with him too rough. But they were all played.
Starting each video saying "In this video, Jordan Peterson talks about..." with an awkward voice, is awkward
Great video. Needs a little bit of a trailer added to the end so that the autoplay doesn't make it jump to the next video so abruptly.
Oh, I always wondered why sometimes it rolls into the next, and sometimes it stops.
Me reading the title of the video: Are you talking to me?
Today I found out rats laugh and that made me laugh.
Love your videos. Very eye opening.
This is so true, great talk
So what do we do now? Therapy? Rugby? :D
Anyone with a presence can be awckward to those barely here.
Good question Jordan.
The divorce of parents is directly related to the growth of awkwardness in their children.
I saw this video and felt automatically related 🧐
Sorry, what book he is talking about in the beginning?
Affective neuroscience by Jaak Panksepp
What are the books/authors he mentioned? Thanks.
Watch it again? 😆
Society don't accept us 😭😭😭😭😭
I'm awkward because I can't shut off my brain 🤣
I’m not an awkward person but when somebody is awkward it makes me feel weird Nd makes me awkward too is this normal ? Or ?
Rats lough...
Love Raphel and tamble Play...
How long before your youtube channel is deleted for stealing content?
I never just liked rough and tumble aside from occassional tickling
I always loved all rough and tumble except tickling lol
How do you reproduce these videos without infringing copyrights?
It’s definitely infringing copyright.
I might sound dumb here but I've been called awkward by a guy during our first time meeting with our mutuals. I just let him have it because the guy is known for not have doing much and gone very little outside his community while I've met people from many cultures playing sports around the country and out. that and he talks highly about himself above everyone else almost every time. of course he's only like that with his circle. alone though, he's got nothing on me
I played with my dad once, when I was 3 or 4. It ended when I kicked him between the legs. There was no more play after that. Yes, I'm now awkward.
I am awkward around awkward people
Loool I love Jordan but I can 4:02 - 4:11 was jargon 😅
I am awkward because I have no positive qualities about myself. I have nothing in common with other people to relate to. I am defiant, don't like or trust people, anti-social, and the only thing I enjoy in life anymore is playing video games.
Stop playing video games!
Stop playing video games. Time you’ll never get back on something that doesn’t give you any return aside from momentary enjoyment.
@@carmenchantilly9049 wow such sound fucking advice, just stop drinking guys, just stop smoking weed guys. Wow thanks dude didn’t know how easy it was to kick the thing keeping my sanity in check
I'm sure there are other people who also like to play video games like you!
We need to be around other people and learn to relax and joke around them. Not just be by ourselves
Awkward is a vast / wide concept. I believe I'm not one .
I forced my dad to wrestle with me as a child and I'm still akward. There seems to be a flaw in your theory ...🧐
The fact that you say you had to force him is probably a clue as to what went wrong...
He knows just as everyone else your a nancy boy
By the time you have the cognitive ability to force him to do it, it might be a little late. I think this needs to be done in early childhood stages
But dont worry, I started wrestling in my late teens and im still awkward lool
I'd have to disagree with this one, from an early age I was literally tossed across a room reinacting WWE with people.
3:41 damn what da dog doin
where could i get this pansect book?
At no point in the video did he adress why some people are awkward? Wtf is wrong with these titles?
Interesting.
I always hated seeing men have "rough n tumble" play with kids because men tend to not be mature enough to say, "No, that's the end of it!". I seriously don't think it's a good thing because ultimately the man usually gets so frustrated that he overpowers and gets too rough rather than authoritatively saying that's enough. Then I ended up having to tell them to fuck off
I've seen this happen over and over with in-laws, other friends, and my own family, and heard stories. Wth is that? Why are they like that? I don't buy it.