In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: th-cam.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html
@@helloimellieful I would think someone who doesn't have sex often would notice a lot quicker because like nothing has ever been up there lmao unless she stretches really easily and lubed the fuck up. Drugs and/or alcohol can play a big part in it though.
She didn't go ahead and update him on his "altered" flight plan? Like, when you set the plan out, most women usually give you a warning that you're in the wrong neighborhood. Metaphors.
I seriously have that one bottle of lube that's been sitting there for God know how long half full. The bottle of lube has even changes houses with me haha.
"if you see [someone with a sleeve of tattoos], theres one thing you can guarantee, not a virgin" well clearly the universe is telling me to get a sleeve before losing my v-card 🤷
Preston Wagner There's a stereotype that Hispanic woman get pregnant extremely easy. I can only assume it kinda started because the main religion is catholicism and the catholic church is anti-condom.
jwarrior2011 Oh man that's what I dug into the comments down here to find out, did you ever find out if it was Yiddish or Hebrew? I tried to repeat it into an audio Google search, Google didn't know what to do with me
In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: th-cam.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html
dude ive been on a binge watching this dude hes hilarious
Check out his podcast, Skeptic Tank. It's rad like him.
@@OuroboroArturo me tooo
I adore him.
Same
Found him on this day. Been binging for hours now
"Hungry Hungry hippo Ass"
I need this on a hoodie
Do you really tho?
yes preston
yes i do
Perfect christmas story
For those who aren't familiar with the Hebrew phrase at 8:50, בתיאבון "b'teavon" is basically the same as saying "bon appetit."
Thanks
Just what I was looking for! Thank you.
תודה!
Thx dude
I don't speak french
“There’s no worse STD than a baby” 😂
That guy in the back, making faces like it's all happening to him right at the moment hahah
The show was sooooo much better with Ari. I can't believe CC banished him from his own show cause he dared do a Netflix special.
I'm happy he has a special. He deserves it! Bout to go watch that tonight!
Yeah, fuck Comedy Central.
Comedy Central is a shit hole.
I’m all for Ari and not CC in this case. They should give him back his intellectual property.
"Hungry hungry hippo ass", that's a classic!
Wait, wasn't SHE supposed to notice?
I was thinking that too.. like he SHOULD have said something if it didnt feel right. But like.... she would have been the first to notice
He even made the point that any sexually active person with a vagina will IMMEDIATELY let you know when you're going for the wrong hole
Unless they were both HEAVILY intoxicated, then I could sort of understand but yeah
@@helloimellieful I would think someone who doesn't have sex often would notice a lot quicker because like nothing has ever been up there lmao unless she stretches really easily and lubed the fuck up. Drugs and/or alcohol can play a big part in it though.
She just wanted a baby lets be adults.
Ari, Tom and Bert. The most laughs I've ever shit out.
Y- You laugh out your ass? wtf?
She didn't go ahead and update him on his "altered" flight plan? Like, when you set the plan out, most women usually give you a warning that you're in the wrong neighborhood. Metaphors.
Simple Sonata 😂
Who's flying from neighborhood to neighborhood?
I know you commented this 5 years ago, but I just wannna show you some love. AMAZING comment. Thank you.
@@sydneyhensley4444 i know this was 11 months ago but also amazing comment haha lol im fucking wsted
I'm just binge watching tf out of Ari Shaffi This Is Not Happening videos
Same. Watching every last one on here.
Busted out laughing when Ari hit us with the air quotes. Hilarious.
Ari had me rolling again. He said "Yes" so fast. Got a new subscriber. Was fun to watch. Great video
So he is Napolean Dynamite's cooler older brother. Right?
funny
you're just jealous because he's been chatting with hot chicks on the internet all day
Best episode so far I haven't laughed out loud so much to stand up in a while.
No.
"What are you Mexican or something," 😂😂😂
I'm actually lost, what was the joke behind that?
"there's a cure but its pretty illegal" no one in the crowd laughed but i fucking died
"other genus of hard-ons" lol
my favorite part haha
I hate people that hate Ari Shaffir
+HipsterHolocaust what the fuck
it would help if he was funny
No one hates him, it's just that he's a jew
I hate people that hate people that hate Ari Shaffir.
I hate people that hate people that hate people that hate Ari Shaffir.
"... there's a cure for it, but it's *way* illegal." Lol, brilliant.
I seriously have that one bottle of lube that's been sitting there for God know how long half full. The bottle of lube has even changes houses with me haha.
Leonard Carlson same lol.
Ari Shaffir is damn funny. I watched him before and he always delivers best jokes!
8:50 "B'tei avon" --> Hebrew: "Enjoy your meal."
Tal Moore thankyou
This crowd sucks, like seriously did you go out to funerals to find them?
that girl was dying
its not true just because You say so.
Are you the fucking crowd police? Get lostvtroll
TheCaymanRasta HehEHEH
gO tO tRuTHCoNtESTCom< rEAd The PREsent
thomascampr Good one.
Love these Apex Twin intros, with their sick get ready for "Fun" stories.
Did you mean _"Aphex Twin"?_
when it goes in the wrong hole, the woman would ever so gently say
NO
NO
NOOOOOOO
(With swatting motions like she's shooing a fly away) 😂
Then you reply *Bite The Pillow I’m Goin In Dry*
I think If a girl says wrong hole the only good is answer “well yeah this should be mila kunis’ ass but here we are@
Nooo my ex did this dry and I kicked him and was crying
These "this is not happening" episodes are really making me sad that I never had cable
Ehhh this 10 minute joke would have taken about 20 on cable soo your just missing the commercials if anything lol!
It's been long enough for it to recommend Ari again
1:00 for the start
9:57: "hungry hungry hippo ass" look at the dude in the blue shirt in the background, youre welcome
Zachary Alton I made the same exact as I watched him
Ari is pretty underrated.
9:30 Lol Ari took the words right out of my mouth
YO I JUST DIED LAUGHING 9:52 INTO IT. I HAVEN'T LITERALLY LAUGHED OF JOY IN A WHILE. 👍
GET ARTIE LANGE ON THIS!
That'll fill the next 3 seasons
He has been now
he was
Ari always make me laugh so hard
Guy in the blue shirt when he said "are you Mexican " definitely looked at someone Hispanic to cage their reaction before he laughed 🤣🤣🤣
favorite comedian
“With your hungry hungry hippo ass” 😂😂😂
All I do is watch theses all day everyday 25/8
Precious! I laughed sooo hard.
BRING BACK ARI🙋♀️
I lost my mind when he said hungry hippo. 🤣
"Pregnant? What, are u Mexican?' 😮😂
The intros are fine
But waiting’s a sin
The video starts at 1:00 in
“Meh we’re done” sounded like Brandon Novak
That was awesome. But as far as anal horror stories, you dodged a bullet
This was so funny 😂
The thing to know about the Uncensored videos, is to *always* skip directly to the 1:00 minute mark.
Ari is great at telling stories.
"if you see [someone with a sleeve of tattoos], theres one thing you can guarantee, not a virgin" well clearly the universe is telling me to get a sleeve before losing my v-card 🤷
Bro that totally happened to me man makes it so much funnier
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
My nigga ari
I wouldn't call a shit hole a VIP entrance myself. More like the walk through a GRIMEY kitchen getting ya best clothes covered in "shit" lmao
I know it's been 3 years, but nobody made a joke about rolling out the red carpet.
This dude is so nonchalant fucken funny as hell...
Haha!! Can someone explain to me the "What are you, Mexican?" Joke though, that one didn't register for me LOL
Brown baby = brown shit?
Preston Wagner There's a stereotype that Hispanic woman get pregnant extremely easy. I can only assume it kinda started because the main religion is catholicism and the catholic church is anti-condom.
+john pshitek your a fucking dipshit.
Uh may zing!
Closed it so strong, 10/10 on the last two lines!
6:20 absolutely made me lose my shit hahahaha this guy is crack up
Rocking that Napoleon Dynamite suit lol
What girl wants someone to last 2 minutes
@@accuser_of_the_brethren7816 haha yup! Time is $$
A girl that has shit to do the next day?
Ari is fs in the top ten comics of all time
Omg this was so hilarious
Lmao genus of hard ons 😂😂😂
Saw Ari open at just for laughs years back
Even funnier nowadays
Damn, Ari. Slay'd it.
With love from Wales.
Kevin Christy... CRUSHING IT!
Dont move 😂
This exact same thing of mistaken hole identity happened to me before too..
go ari! best show ever
Whats the name of the song used for the intro?
Anyone know what he said to the jews in the front row after the shit it out bit?
jwarrior2011 Oh man that's what I dug into the comments down here to find out, did you ever find out if it was Yiddish or Hebrew? I tried to repeat it into an audio Google search, Google didn't know what to do with me
B'tayavon, roughly translated as bon appetit!! Had to Google it as I was curious too!
Ari you the man.
From the few times I've watched Ari on Joe Rogan, I thought he might be gay. Clearly my gaydar is busted, lol. This was a funny, awkward story.
3:04 oooooh
Hacky material
Give aRi his show back!
Wow, that was hilarious
That muscular Ari will haunt my dreams hahahaha
Adrone The teeth - what the shit?
This Is Not Happening, Fucking Excellent every episode
Why do I keep hearing H. Jon Benjamin every now and again. Swear Ari sounds like Archer half the time..
Oh my God, Ari is a fucking savage! My ribs hurt! xD
Look in for the "did he just introduce himself"
'This is Not Happening' without Ari = not happening!
This dude is toooo fucking funny 😆
oh ari shaffir... you arent the only one bro
Ari is really emphasizing the title of this show with this story.
this was so hilarious
🤣🤣🤣
why does ym com go green in the dark
I ain't fuckin no shit hole unless we're married Lol
This bit thxD
3 point stance..funny af
Yo I lost it at hungry hungry hippo ass!!!
bring back Ari!
The intro before "This is not Happening" is one of the more disturbing things I've seen.
I bought this, I usully dont do that sort of thing... worth it.
Don’t try to hit a bong during a comedy set or else you’ll have a bad time
I didn’t really like ari at first but this nigga be funny af 😂😂😂