I hid my crappy memory from my family most of my life because it hurt their feelings so much when I didn't remember important life events. When I realized that I had aphantasia and SDAM in my late 50s it was a god send because by then everyone was getting really worried that my memory issues were age related. Now I make it a point to let everyone know about my memory issues. And everyone is really great about helping me fill in my blanks.
Yes! Good point I left out. Everyone else got so hurt I didn't remember things. They thought it was because I didn't care. But I literally just can't remember.
You would make an incredible advocate ❤ What a gift you would be to any parent who is fighting for equal rights for an appropriate education for their child.
Thank you, I'm working on it. Right now this channel is my outlet. I have to work within my capabilities and content creation gives is an accessible way for me to so at this time. ☺️
Every time I've told an employer about my epilepsy, they drastically cut my hours and won't let me work alone anymore. It affects every decision i make each day, especially if i need to drive anywhere. It affects how much insurance i carry, what kind of car i can drive, makes me feel like disclosing my condition to parents of any child i drive.
Do you know your rights under the American's with Disabilities Act? If not, you may want to look into it. What you are describing is illegal discrimination by your employers. They are required by law to make reasonable accomodation for you and your condition. I'm an architect. The ADA impacts every area of architectural practice just to make sure my buildings are accessible to everyone. The consequences for not following the law are severe. I suggest retaining an employment law autourney. You might win a LOT of money in settlements from your past and/or present employers if you sue or even just threaten to sue them through a big scary employment law firm. Many of these lawyers will work on a contigency or even pro-bono basis if you are unable to pay them upfront. The main reason to go after employers like this isn't financial . It's to stop this sort of bullsh*t from happening to anyone in the first place. Here's a link to more informantion about the ADA and employment discrimination. Your Civil Rights are being violated, and those rights give you enormous power over bigoted employers. This one specifically addresses epilepsy and employment: th-cam.com/video/I1SZwi1S2Dg/w-d-xo.html Stand up for your rights. For all of us.
@@TheWilliamHoganExperience this was a long time ago. I didn't think epilepsy was a disability. Is it? It does affect everyday decisions. I can see them not wanting me responsible for the cash drawer alone, someone could hurt me or worse and destroy or rob the business. I was in college. The last time I didn't tell them because I made a couple dollars more at a second location where I was alone. But responsible for cash again, and so much more . Felt like I was between a rock and hard place. Going through a nasty divorce, if I don't try to make as much money as possible they'd use that against me. So I put myself and clients in danger I've had it since I was 14. Now 50 years later I'm thinking I'm most likely autistic. My mother and sisters are, a nephew, well neice now. I don't know who I am and trying to figure it out. Put pieces together Parents never even got me a medic alert bracelet.
@@recoveringsoul755 Hey JAN, Job Accomodations Network has a list of recognized disabilities, as well as suggested requests for each. Also, check out Matthew MCcord's piece there about the required evidence that a request would cause an employer " undue harm" to fulfill it in the refusal. Also, some workplaces can dance around this if they are tax exempt. Check your state's dept. human rights for back up. You can ask them about investing the employer if you feel they have not done their part in proving possible " undue harm".
My roommate in college was blind without her glasses and they were like a half inch thick! I think she was considered legally blind because of how severe her vision deficit was. I am legally disabled in the US and my autism diagnosis factored into that getting approved. It's also the reason I got an official diagnosis. I also have physical disability that was part of that decision though. I was 38 when it all happened, I was in too much pain and burnt out. My partner had an IEP and said it helped a ton. He can't watch movies or TV so it allowed him to ask for alternative assignments and leave the room during that. TV makes him really anxious and he will ruminate on it for weeks, it's like he has the opposite of aphantasia. Thank you for being an advocate!
That is interesting what you share about your partner being unable to watch tv or movies, I’ve never heard anyone talk about that before and I have a similar problem. It is embarrassing for me to explain it to others and they just think I’m a wuss. I get too affected by certain things and it never goes away. I have the same issues with books as well and I think this had a lot to do with why I failed my English Lit A Level - I just couldn’t bring myself to attend classes because of how the subject matter made me feel.
I think to be legally blind you can't have 20/20 with corrective lenses. So if lenses correct to 20/20 you can still drive. But without the correction you would be blind. It's a perfect example of how accomodations can vastly improve the quality of life. People don't think twice about the fact that glasses (at any strength) are an accessiblility accomodation. Many people think accomodations have to be complicated. And sometimes they do, but not always. I digress. That's interesting about not being able to watch TV. I'm glad he was able to get an IEP for that.
hi traci k. Traci o also does not watch movies or television for the same reasons. too bright, too jarring, too loud, too much motion, too unpredictable, too much emotion, too much inauthenticity (acting). happy to see I'm not the only one.
Non-abilities are such a fractal pattern. I have vivid memories of many little snippets of my life, but have always had a big problem remembering people's names. 10 seconds after an introduction, I will be horrified to realize that I have already lost their name. Strangely, this non-ability does not seem to apply to dogs.
I'm also better at remembering dog names than people names! Lol. I know all my neighbors by their dog's names. We live in a very dog friendly neighborhood with a small dog park just across the street from me. 😊
I just leave my accounts open. I can not remember passwords either. Or where I wrote them down. It's frustrating. I came out autistic right away 9 years ago. I am 51. I never heard back from 95% of those people ever again. I have hidden hearing impairment for a while. Now I can't anymore. I can read lips. I taught myself with closed captioning feature. I'm glad I thought of earlier on. I speak loudly. I also unable to speak unfiltered thoughts.
I thought I had hearing loss but it's really more of auditory processing disorder. I actually am missing some low tones (I often don't register deep make voices) but it's not to a point where I'd need hearing aides.
Thank you Mike. Parenting is hard. It's pushed me past my comfort zone many times advocating for my kids when I'd rather just ignore. But I'm hoping they get tools that I didn't have access to, because no one knew I needed them.
I saw a post on a world wide Facebook autism group I'm in that someone was working on a Neurodivergent school in England. It really would be remarkable! Yes, neurodivergent and neurotypical need to learn to live and work together in community. But let's have our learning years supported. Would be really affirming.
I'm sure I have the same memory condition. I've never known there was a name for it until I learned it from you. I often forget words and names, too. So I go through the alphabet one letter at a time to build the word or name. It feels like I'm trying to break a password.
@@ASSman864 I have stalkers who are into cyber crime. Have deleted or disabled email multiple times, stolen my phone number after I password protected it, still using my numbers 10 years later. I got a new phone in November, and while I was charging it the first time, they were already accessing it. I just assume they're watching and listening at all times. I even found a recording device in my therapist office. The last 3 lawyers I had sent email I never received. Somehow they intercept them. How do I fight what I don't understand and can't see or prove? My phone thinks it's travelling around while I've been in one spot with locations turned off. They're even deleted from my phone an outgoing call I made. From some other location.
Ah okay! I thought I had it turned on. I uploaded this video from my phone and that got unchecked. Hopefully they are added now. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
Yes, I have been disclosing my (self-diagnosed) ASD to family and some very close friends. I couldn’t be bothered, frankly, to disclose to just anyone. I’m striving to not mask as much as possible, but I’ve been doing it my entire 70 years so it’s a challenge. I didn’t disclose as a way to “excuse” or “explain away” my behaviour; rather, it was to say that my brain is wired differently and I’m excited about it.
Thank you for adding that bit at the end. That is exactly the struggle we are going through as a family. I have one kid with ADHD and one with autism. Because they are at or above grade level, we continue to be discouraged from getting IEPs, but that does not take into account the cost to their mental health. Please continue the advocacy.
Yes, school admins need to learn that just because a student has good grades doesn't mean that they aren't struggling. Mental health is more important than any grade.
As an autistic person with low support needs, it was never an option to me to refrain from disclosing my diagnosis. I can pass as neurotypical, and it's a helpful skill, but I can't justify hiding who I am when I think about people on the spectrum who find masking so much harder and/or have higher support needs. In order to understand that it's a spectrum, people have to see everyone within that spectrum.
Any Autistic voices that are safe to disclose it helps erase the stigma for those that can't. ☺️❤️ Some women can't get an official diagnosis because it can actually be held against them in custody battles, there is still unfortunately discrimination at work places which is hard to fight against, there are people who don't have a support system. And probably reasons I'm not thinking about where some people don't feel comfortable disclosing. Also, some people just don't want to and that is their right too.
@@i.am.mindblind Oh, absolutely. I am definitely privileged to be in a space where I can be confident with disclosing my autism, and I don't think anyone else should have to or feel badly if they don't. Everyone handles things differently, and everyone has different things to handle. I just meant that since I am in a privileged position and I feel I can handle the stigma head on, I have always believed that I should -- I don't think anyone else has to/should, it's just a personal rule for myself.
AuDHD, Trans, SDAM, "gifted student" and other letters. =oP I'm pretty out with the Autistic. I've been able to unmask enough in the last few years that NT people start to notice that I am kinda dancing to a different song... and they like it... It also makes other ND people more relaxed and I am getting better at going, "Oh, but maybe that's just my Autism and/or ADHD, what do I know?" But I have also used it as a jumping off point with even students in my motorcycle classes learning about Aphantasia and they tell me cool ways about how they can imagine the world. I'm working to accept the "disabled" label, but it is also hard for me to see when I have done such a good job able-ing myself and my general situation... I have no idea how I found the spoons to be a kid, but part of it is that having an upper middle class support system was very ableing... To each their own path, but for me, this feels like "coming out as trans" all over again with Neurodivergence. If I can mark myself in a way that is out and proud and advocating for Trans, I can do it again for Autism. I've said before, but it would be nice if Autism groups can take more an LGBT Pride approach and away from the Cancer/AIDs approach. Neurodivergence seems sooo close by taking the rainbow ribbon and turning it into infinity; rather than a start and an end, it is a life cycle. But like G "all by itself" in the 50's, Autism needs to find their "LBTIA++"... I'm looking at you Chronic Fatigue Syndrome I can't speak for having kids... but yes totally to the "pass as good as you can and stay under the radar". I am sad to hear things have not improved in the schooling system... my parents only praise when I meet my full "NT Capability" and get chastised harshly for failure to meet expectations. They still have no interest in updating their knowledge on Autism from the 1970s.
It's like the question for ADHD, "Are you often late?" and the answer is "No! I have a very carefully crafted system with 3 alarms to go off so I don't miss appointments!" Neurotypical people don't have to do that. Our systems and accommodations help us function, but we need them because of our disability. And, there's literally nothing bad about being disabled. It's like the LGBT+ community taking back the word Gay. Disabled has been used as a negative for so long people have it collapsed in their mind as an insult. But many people in the disability community are working to destigmatize and let people know disability is just one way "human" shows up in the world. ❤️❤️❤️
Another insightful video Amanda - keep them coming! The part about internalized ableism really resonates. It's what masking is all about. It's an internalized adaptive (but pathological) response to the ableism of society and our need to assimilate in order to survive. Being open about our "disabilities" is as imporatnt for us as being open about sexual orientation is for gay people. The term "disability" is unfortunately freighted with negative stereotypes. So is the term "deficits" and even "issues" . I preffer to talk about how autism impacts my experience of the world and social behavior in ways that are fundamentally different than that of non autistic people. The way I see it, "disability" frames "ability" in positive terms since "dis" means "lacking". It also generalizes my specific challenges into an identity "I am disabled" in ways that are not helpful for people wishing to offer support. So I find it's best to be specific: "I have difficulty reading social cues, especiily if there are multiple people I'm interacting with. So I need to socialize with people one on one rather than in groups" "I'm very sensitive / reactive / responsive / insensitive / non-reactive / unresponsive to light / sound / taste / touch / hot / cold / smell. This means I'm burdened heavily by XYZ / PDQ in this situation." "You might find clothing tags "anoyying". They torture me to the point I cannot think clearly, so I have to cut the tags out of my clothing. Supermarkets are loud environments, so I wear noise canceling headphones. There are overhead flourescent lights that hurt my eyes and give me visual disturbances, auras, and migraine headaches. Eye contact is also difficult for me because it feels so intimate. So I wear a hat and sunglasses indoors to protect my nervous system" So my "disabilites" are situational and enviromnetally / contextually determined. A better way to frame them might be as "limitations" but these same limitations enable my artistic and musical gifts, while my social limitations provide me with the extended solitude required to make art and compose and practice and rehearse my music" I'm still figuring it out, but the basic concept is this: When I'm dealing with autism unfreindly / ignorant / hostile nuerotypical society and people, I AM disabled. I'm Crippled. By THEM. When I'm dealing with informed, compasionae, empathetic people, I'm not disabled at all. I'm gifted. By them too. Enabled. Valued. Seen and heard. ...and that's the miracle of TH-cam. This beautiful, flowering autism community I've found here assuring me I'm not alone or broken or bad or a failure. You and so many others like you have transformed my autism into a gift, rather than a deficit. So thanks Amanda =)
Thank you for this very insightful comment. It's exactly the world I want to head towards. Many disabilities are from lack of accomodations. There are people who are blind without the accomodation of glasses. With glasses they don't feel disabled anymore. With the right accomodations and understanding, Autistic people won't feel disabled by their neurotype.
@@i.am.mindblind Exactly. I would go further and note that while blindness limits what a blind person is capable of percieveing and doing, vision limits what a sighted person is capable of percieving and doing also. When we are reading something (visual activity) our ability to hear (listening activity) is limited. Our senses come at the expense of each other to a large degree. The mechanisms for this are not well understood because the brain and it's processing, thinking, and conciousness itself are not well understood. It is a fact however. When I was first studying architecture and learning how to draw freehand / sketch I read a book titled "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards The book contained a clever exercise that involved copying a lovely Picasso sketch of a man sitting in a chair. An unskilled artist has great difficulty copying such a sketch, but it's very easy to copy once you aquire the skill. The thing is, the skill itself involves perception, and the perception required involves something called "lateralization of brain function" Broadly speaking, the brain is divided into two bi-laterally symmetrical hemespheres connected by the corpus collostum, a third structure. The right hemephere controlls the left side of your body, (motor functions) and the left controlls the right side. The hemepheres are also - again broadly speaking - specialized and responsible for other cognitive tasks like language and logic and symbolic / abstract thinking (Left hemesphere) and observation, visualization, and non-lateral, intuitive non-verbal creative thinking (right hemesphere). The thesis of Edwards book is that almost anyone can draw accurate representations freehand as long as they have the ability to see reasonably well and have the fine motor skills necessary to hold a pencil and sign their name. The trick is to "turn off" the left hemesphere. This is challenging for most people - including me - because the left hemesphere tends to be dominant. She proves her thesis with the Picasso drawing by having readers turn the drawing UPSIDEDOWN and then attempting to copy it. This shuts down the left hemesphere by overloading it with a confusing scramble of lines and shapes it cannot pigion-hole with logic and language short-cuts as "man in chair" followed by a crappy 3 second stick-figure symbol of a man in a chair. This allows the right hemesphere to do it's thing: To SEE and then draw each line accurately in relation to other lines. Before you know it, an accurate albeit upsidown copy of a Picasso masterpiece emerges from the tip of your pencil, and when you invert the finished product, you are ASTONISHED that you were able to draw so well. As an architecture professor teaching drawing and sketching I used that exercise hundreds of times over the years, and I never met a student that couldn't make an accurate copy of that Picasso sketch if they took the time and made the effort to copy it inverted. Some of the most gifted muscians in history were blind. Bethoven was actually deaf at the end of his life, yet he was still able to compose magnificent symphonies. Our senses are what determine both how the world comes to us AND how we interpret and engage with it. Autistic people have extreme sensory profiles. These profiles lead to completely different inner expereinces of the world because sensory data is all our brains have to work with in the end when it comes to interpreting the world around us. The brain itself is a black box. Conciousness is a mystery that science has litterally no factual ideas or explainations about - just a lot absurd theories - like "reality is a simulation" and utterly useless metaphors and analogies that rely on a-priori assumptions about the supposed truths used to prove their validity. There's an apocryphal story about a woman arguing with a scientist about the earth resting on the back of a giant turtle. The scientist challenges her by asking: "....and what is that giant turtle standing on?" to which she replies: "Another turtle" Laughing, the scientist says "C'mon! what is THAT turtle standing on?" "Oh, that's easy! It's turtles all the way down!" Whenever anyone challenges the validity of the perceptions and beliefs and attitudes of another person as being pathological or incorrect or disordered, it's best to remind them - and ourselves - that in the end, it's all just turtles all the way down for everyone. So a little compassion and a lot of humility go a long way when attempting to understand how others understand the world. ...and of course, turtles =)
The brain really is facinating isn't it? One of my best friends is completely blind and she is better at finding things with her "finger eyes" as she calls them than I am. She'll be searching for a pair of earrings for instance in a jumble of them on her dresser and her fingers find the right pair before my eyes can distinguish the different sets. She often jokes at how "blind" us sighted people are!
@I am MindBlind Nailed it! This is exactly what I've realized about autism itself: It's a difference in distribution of human aptitudes and attention and capacity for focus that's a product of sensory systems exquisitely tuned to sensory information few can percieve. I have "perfect" color discrimination, but bright light in my eyes causes migraines. I have a form of musical pitch discrimination called relative pitch and can learn songs quickly on guitar just by listening. But loud sounds and sierens cause a massive adreniline dump I used to think were panick attacks, but were actually meltdowns resulting from sensory overload. These sensitivities neccessarily color our reality and thus behavior relative to the black and white reality of nuerotypical people. When their burden becomes to great, we simply cease functioning. "How can they be so blind?" That is the most beautiful and concise ways of summarizing the situation autistic people find ourselves in when it comes to our gifts. They are fragile. When broken they become dangerous, because we carry them so close to our hearts. Shattered gifts can pierce it and kill us. I believe our gifts choose us. We have no say in the matter. It's our fate, and we must learn to accept and love our fate. This is the meaning of life: To be happy, no matter how much suffering life brings. As Nietsche puts it: “Amore Fati!” - Love Your Fate! We are fated with these gifts. They burden us - yet they are us - the essence of our humanity. So who amoung my autistic sisters and brothers would trade it all for a quiet life in the Matrix? For a quiet, superficial life of tepid, predictable, flat grey normalicy. A life that slowly kills you.... Not me! - That's for damn sure! ;-)
Hi Amanda. Another great video! May I ask if you could leave any extra text you put on the screen for longer please because I process written words slow and find I miss all that. At least if the text is there longer I get a chance to pause the video and read it rather than trying to go back and find it ❤❤😊
Yes, thanks for the feedback. I edited this one on my phone and I completely failed to lengthen the duration of the words. I'm so sorry, that was a failure on my part!
thanks for sharing the last little tid bit. You are an amazing advocate and I appreciate you sharing your experiences; it helps me to process my own autism diagnosis; I was diagnosed last year, and still processing it and learning how I can unmask without it being overwhelming or making my husband feel uncomfortable.
Will do! And my kids are great at advocating for themselves. In their online school they can schedule calls with teachers and my daughter especially makes many calls to remind about her IEP.
I am more willing to disclose my ADHD, but being self-dx autistic I don’t really share that with anyone, not even family except for a small few. I do disclose what is necessary when I feel the need to advocate for myself, but I’m not securely in the habit of self-advocacy just yet. I’m getting there.
@@i.am.mindblind Agreed. Also, still loving my floor cleaning machine. It’s perfect for adhd person - small ‘batches’ of water, it’s fun, cleans well and it tells you what to do! Maybe tell people about your other channel in the intros?
Thanks! I'm taking a short break from my other channel while recovering from my foot surgery, although another Wet Vac company just sent me one to review! (I bought the Tineco myself.) I've got to figure out how to film it while on crutches or knee scooter. I'm thinking one of my kids will probably help me out! 😂
Like you I have been loud and proud of my disabilities because now I make sense I was amazed to found out that 75% of narcoleptics don't tell anyone because 75% of the "normal" population does not think it is real. Narcolepsy is real its just not what you see in movies.
@I am MindBlind don't get me wrong... I can laugh at a good narcolepsy joke .... but then I can't move! lol See, that's funny because most people don't know that there are 2 types of narcolepsy. I have narcolepsy 1, which means I have cataplexy. With cataplexy, strong or sudden emotions, good or bad, make my muscles go paralyzed. Your brain decides that you must be dreaming and you go dead weight. Sometimes, there's a warning. You also get really good at falling.
I've often wondered if I had a memory or brain disorder. I can never remember the gifts I give people or the gifts they give me (unless I literally wear it everyday - like my wedding ring). I just figured that it was normal to not remember any teachers' names, except Ms.Higginbotham - like who could forget that name? She was the only one that was nice to me in elementary - I think, unless I just forget about the others. smh
Love that you remember that teachers name. It is a fun name to say. SDAM often I can remember facts like the teachers name, just not the actual experience in that classroom for example. But there are actually lots of different memory disorders, so worth looking into. ❤️
Due to my experience with such, I have strong feelings about special ed classes. They were a horrible experience for me from the last quarter of sixth grade through the first quarter of eighth. Everybody else in the class was so much lower functioning that me. I just knew I didn't belong. Thankfully, a different school system was willing to put me in normal classes. Yes, I got As, Bs and Cs throughout 3/4 of eighth grade and high school, but I never failed a single class. I even ended up taking pre-calculus my senior year as well as physics and did well in both. It was stressful, yes, but much better, for me, than being in special ed classes. That said, my son has ADHD and auditory processing disorder. He'll be a senior this fall and has had a 504 plan in place since second grade. He's not doing as well as I did, but I think putting him in special ed classes would be an even bigger mistake. My wife, who has been a full time teacher since 2004, is a huge proponent of inclusion. Thus, she feels the same way.
That's a sweet puppy (they're _all_ puppies to me). I was 100% healthy for my entire life but now have an invisible disability. In my case, I got Covid which gave me heart failure and crisis level high blood pressure. You can't see that stuff just looking at me. A lot of people have invisible disabilities. Doesn't mean they're not disabled.
I'm sorry covid got you so bad! 😞 That's one reason I'm a disability advocate, it's the one marganlized group any one can become a part of at any time. Yet people don't want to accept or accommodate us.
The flip side of "disabled" is "gifted". I have to constantly fight to get people to understand how broken I feel because all the outside sees is how "accomplished" I am. Yeah, I have a master's degree, but I'm currently jobless. Yeah, I have genius level IQ, but very few friends. I struggle to "adult" at a badic level everyday because living is exhausting. And the constand refrain is exactly what you said. "You dont look disabled" or "just go flip burgers" (my nightmare of social interaction). Our capitalist mindset gives no leeway to mental health.
I guess I can agree with a word, it is just a word after all. It's the quality and nature of how that worrd is percieved. You can see how people's faces change when they are told because they ask or comment about the weirdness. Le Poof, Hey where'd you go?!? I'm pretty sure that's why I hide and mask. If someone is just a little too different, that's just too much for most to handle. Some even consider it sick to befriend or partner up with someone who is mentally disabled. It doen't feel good to see your value rearranged in their eyes when they are informed. Now, try to get them to google it or listen when they now think I'm rainman (turns out dude wasn't autistic or a savant) or banging my head against the wall at home or something. Well you did mention stigmas. Well, that too contributes to our overall downfall as well. I'm pleased you have a spouse and kids and stuff, it makes me happy. That's not how others see me when they get to know me once my physical attractiveness wears thin.
I'm working to destigmatize disability. I'm only one voice, but I'll keep doing my best and I don't judge anyone who doesn't disclose their invisible Disabilities because each situation is unique. I'm in a place of privilege where I can advocate safely and want to, so I do. Not everyone can or wants to and that is fine.
@@i.am.mindblind None of it is an attack. This is my best communication of my own experience. I'm older and it doesn't look like things are going to work out for me. That's ok. Maybe someone will read this and it will save some younger person a lifetime of grief.
How does one go about getting diagnosed for all these things, especially at a late age? I am on Medicaid and I'm not sure if they even cover this type of care.
I'm not sure. Unless you need a medical diagnosis for a legal reason a lot of adults are just researching and self diagnosing or it's called "Self Realized" Autism. There's not much support for Adult autistic so other than understanding your own neurotype and self accomodating there's not much a medical diagnosis can provide. Still, I know it does provide validation and that is something. Some insurance doesn't cover it, I don't know about medicade. You'd need to find a psychologist that is able to do adult autistic evaluations.
Yes! I named it Kitty because I have a black cat (named Echo) and everytime I walked in the room and saw my new dragon I thought it was my cat do I thought Kitty was the perfect name. I don't name all my stuffies, but this one is special.
I learned about aphantasia and SDAM and 38. Self diagnosed, because they aren't in the DSM. They are still being researched. I got medically diagnosed autistic & adhd at 42.
How is any of this a disability? I have 90% of everything you discuss in the videos? I just think im quirky or different. And otherw are as well obviously. But im not sure it effects my daily life and survival. I respect you and your concerns and sharing yourself openly with strangers. I see you and I understand. But I promise you shouldn’t focus on your new diagnosis. Almost everyone has something and you seem healthy and smart and outspoken. Focus on what makes you feel good. All the best xx
Actually studies show that masking shortens the lifespan of Autistic people. Learning about my diagnosis and how to unmask is best for my mental health. If you relate to 90% of what I'm experiencing you might consider doing more research. Autism is very under diagnosed, especially in women.
Triggered..........I am diagnosed at age 58 my sister found out ..I didn't tell her, as I knew how she would respond and I was right...she said " I work with autistic kids and I don't believe you are autistic , you are just an over thinker and just forget about it and get on with your life...she had no idea how important the whole discovery and diagnosis was to me in my life......ignorant....and probably autistic herself......works with autistic kids yet has no idea what adult late diagnosed high masking autism looks like...I am so angry and hurt and again missunderstood.
I hid my crappy memory from my family most of my life because it hurt their feelings so much when I didn't remember important life events. When I realized that I had aphantasia and SDAM in my late 50s it was a god send because by then everyone was getting really worried that my memory issues were age related. Now I make it a point to let everyone know about my memory issues. And everyone is really great about helping me fill in my blanks.
Yes! Good point I left out. Everyone else got so hurt I didn't remember things. They thought it was because I didn't care. But I literally just can't remember.
Not hiding. Tired of hiding. Will share.
Good for you Amanda is inspiring
You would make an incredible advocate ❤ What a gift you would be to any parent who is fighting for equal rights for an appropriate education for their child.
Thank you, I'm working on it. Right now this channel is my outlet. I have to work within my capabilities and content creation gives is an accessible way for me to so at this time. ☺️
@@i.am.mindblind you have an incredible gift 🌹🌹🌹your channel is proof and your courage speaks Volumes 🔊
Every time I've told an employer about my epilepsy, they drastically cut my hours and won't let me work alone anymore. It affects every decision i make each day, especially if i need to drive anywhere. It affects how much insurance i carry, what kind of car i can drive, makes me feel like disclosing my condition to parents of any child i drive.
Do you know your rights under the American's with Disabilities Act?
If not, you may want to look into it. What you are describing is illegal discrimination by your employers. They are required by law to make reasonable accomodation for you and your condition.
I'm an architect. The ADA impacts every area of architectural practice just to make sure my buildings are accessible to everyone. The consequences for not following the law are severe. I suggest retaining an employment law autourney. You might win a LOT of money in settlements from your past and/or present employers if you sue or even just threaten to sue them through a big scary employment law firm. Many of these lawyers will work on a contigency or even pro-bono basis if you are unable to pay them upfront.
The main reason to go after employers like this isn't financial . It's to stop this sort of bullsh*t from happening to anyone in the first place.
Here's a link to more informantion about the ADA and employment discrimination. Your Civil Rights are being violated, and those rights give you enormous power over bigoted employers. This one specifically addresses epilepsy and employment:
th-cam.com/video/I1SZwi1S2Dg/w-d-xo.html
Stand up for your rights. For all of us.
@@TheWilliamHoganExperience this was a long time ago. I didn't think epilepsy was a disability. Is it? It does affect everyday decisions. I can see them not wanting me responsible for the cash drawer alone, someone could hurt me or worse and destroy or rob the business.
I was in college. The last time I didn't tell them because I made a couple dollars more at a second location where I was alone. But responsible for cash again, and so much more . Felt like I was between a rock and hard place. Going through a nasty divorce, if I don't try to make as much money as possible they'd use that against me. So I put myself and clients in danger
I've had it since I was 14. Now 50 years later I'm thinking I'm most likely autistic. My mother and sisters are, a nephew, well neice now. I don't know who I am and trying to figure it out. Put pieces together
Parents never even got me a medic alert bracelet.
@@recoveringsoul755 Hey JAN, Job Accomodations Network has a list of recognized disabilities, as well as suggested requests for each. Also, check out Matthew MCcord's piece there about the required evidence that a request would cause an employer " undue harm" to fulfill it in the refusal. Also, some workplaces can dance around this if they are tax exempt. Check your state's dept. human rights for back up. You can ask them about investing the employer if you feel they have not done their part in proving possible " undue harm".
My roommate in college was blind without her glasses and they were like a half inch thick! I think she was considered legally blind because of how severe her vision deficit was.
I am legally disabled in the US and my autism diagnosis factored into that getting approved. It's also the reason I got an official diagnosis. I also have physical disability that was part of that decision though. I was 38 when it all happened, I was in too much pain and burnt out.
My partner had an IEP and said it helped a ton. He can't watch movies or TV so it allowed him to ask for alternative assignments and leave the room during that. TV makes him really anxious and he will ruminate on it for weeks, it's like he has the opposite of aphantasia.
Thank you for being an advocate!
That is interesting what you share about your partner being unable to watch tv or movies, I’ve never heard anyone talk about that before and I have a similar problem. It is embarrassing for me to explain it to others and they just think I’m a wuss. I get too affected by certain things and it never goes away. I have the same issues with books as well and I think this had a lot to do with why I failed my English Lit A Level - I just couldn’t bring myself to attend classes because of how the subject matter made me feel.
I think to be legally blind you can't have 20/20 with corrective lenses. So if lenses correct to 20/20 you can still drive. But without the correction you would be blind. It's a perfect example of how accomodations can vastly improve the quality of life. People don't think twice about the fact that glasses (at any strength) are an accessiblility accomodation. Many people think accomodations have to be complicated. And sometimes they do, but not always. I digress. That's interesting about not being able to watch TV. I'm glad he was able to get an IEP for that.
hi traci k. Traci o also does not watch movies or television for the same reasons. too bright, too jarring, too loud, too much motion, too unpredictable, too much emotion, too much inauthenticity (acting). happy to see I'm not the only one.
@@i.am.mindblind ah! Thanks for explaining that.
@@tracirex hi again! Yes I can’t handle anything gory, violent, scary or even people being nasty to each other. And 3D gives me vertigo.
Non-abilities are such a fractal pattern. I have vivid memories of many little snippets of my life, but have always had a big problem remembering people's names. 10 seconds after an introduction, I will be horrified to realize that I have already lost their name. Strangely, this non-ability does not seem to apply to dogs.
I'm also better at remembering dog names than people names! Lol. I know all my neighbors by their dog's names. We live in a very dog friendly neighborhood with a small dog park just across the street from me. 😊
I just leave my accounts open. I can not remember passwords either. Or where I wrote them down. It's frustrating. I came out autistic right away 9 years ago. I am 51. I never heard back from 95% of those people ever again. I have hidden hearing impairment for a while. Now I can't anymore. I can read lips. I taught myself with closed captioning feature. I'm glad I thought of earlier on. I speak loudly. I also unable to speak unfiltered thoughts.
I thought I had hearing loss but it's really more of auditory processing disorder. I actually am missing some low tones (I often don't register deep make voices) but it's not to a point where I'd need hearing aides.
My takeaway from this video is you’re a wonderful mother.
Thank you Mike. Parenting is hard. It's pushed me past my comfort zone many times advocating for my kids when I'd rather just ignore. But I'm hoping they get tools that I didn't have access to, because no one knew I needed them.
There needs to be schools run by neurodivegent staff. I got that idea from the end of this video.Thank you.
I saw a post on a world wide Facebook autism group I'm in that someone was working on a Neurodivergent school in England. It really would be remarkable! Yes, neurodivergent and neurotypical need to learn to live and work together in community. But let's have our learning years supported. Would be really affirming.
I'm sure I have the same memory condition. I've never known there was a name for it until I learned it from you. I often forget words and names, too. So I go through the alphabet one letter at a time to build the word or name. It feels like I'm trying to break a password.
I've done that before, sometimes it helps, but not always. ☺️
@@i.am.mindblind it's a last resort because my autism brain nags me until I figure it out
I had to create a spreadsheet to keep track of passwords
Then theres me 💀 if you can hack this youtube youll have all my passwords for everything ive ever created lol
@@ASSman864 I have stalkers who are into cyber crime. Have deleted or disabled email multiple times, stolen my phone number after I password protected it, still using my numbers 10 years later. I got a new phone in November, and while I was charging it the first time, they were already accessing it.
I just assume they're watching and listening at all times. I even found a recording device in my therapist office. The last 3 lawyers I had sent email I never received. Somehow they intercept them.
How do I fight what I don't understand and can't see or prove? My phone thinks it's travelling around while I've been in one spot with locations turned off. They're even deleted from my phone an outgoing call I made. From some other location.
Speaking of disabilities... could you set up your recordings to allow auto-generated close captioning? It helps with my auditory processing disorder.
Ah okay! I thought I had it turned on. I uploaded this video from my phone and that got unchecked. Hopefully they are added now. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
Yes, I have been disclosing my (self-diagnosed) ASD to family and some very close friends. I couldn’t be bothered, frankly, to disclose to just anyone. I’m striving to not mask as much as possible, but I’ve been doing it my entire 70 years so it’s a challenge. I didn’t disclose as a way to “excuse” or “explain away” my behaviour; rather, it was to say that my brain is wired differently and I’m excited about it.
Thank you for adding that bit at the end. That is exactly the struggle we are going through as a family. I have one kid with ADHD and one with autism. Because they are at or above grade level, we continue to be discouraged from getting IEPs, but that does not take into account the cost to their mental health. Please continue the advocacy.
Yes, school admins need to learn that just because a student has good grades doesn't mean that they aren't struggling. Mental health is more important than any grade.
As an autistic person with low support needs, it was never an option to me to refrain from disclosing my diagnosis. I can pass as neurotypical, and it's a helpful skill, but I can't justify hiding who I am when I think about people on the spectrum who find masking so much harder and/or have higher support needs. In order to understand that it's a spectrum, people have to see everyone within that spectrum.
Any Autistic voices that are safe to disclose it helps erase the stigma for those that can't. ☺️❤️ Some women can't get an official diagnosis because it can actually be held against them in custody battles, there is still unfortunately discrimination at work places which is hard to fight against, there are people who don't have a support system. And probably reasons I'm not thinking about where some people don't feel comfortable disclosing. Also, some people just don't want to and that is their right too.
@@i.am.mindblind Oh, absolutely. I am definitely privileged to be in a space where I can be confident with disclosing my autism, and I don't think anyone else should have to or feel badly if they don't. Everyone handles things differently, and everyone has different things to handle. I just meant that since I am in a privileged position and I feel I can handle the stigma head on, I have always believed that I should -- I don't think anyone else has to/should, it's just a personal rule for myself.
Listening to your videos is so soothing. You are knowledgeable and easy to understand and your compassion is evident.
Thank you, I appreciate this so much. ❤️😊
AuDHD, Trans, SDAM, "gifted student" and other letters. =oP
I'm pretty out with the Autistic. I've been able to unmask enough in the last few years that NT people start to notice that I am kinda dancing to a different song... and they like it... It also makes other ND people more relaxed and I am getting better at going, "Oh, but maybe that's just my Autism and/or ADHD, what do I know?"
But I have also used it as a jumping off point with even students in my motorcycle classes learning about Aphantasia and they tell me cool ways about how they can imagine the world.
I'm working to accept the "disabled" label, but it is also hard for me to see when I have done such a good job able-ing myself and my general situation... I have no idea how I found the spoons to be a kid, but part of it is that having an upper middle class support system was very ableing...
To each their own path, but for me, this feels like "coming out as trans" all over again with Neurodivergence. If I can mark myself in a way that is out and proud and advocating for Trans, I can do it again for Autism. I've said before, but it would be nice if Autism groups can take more an LGBT Pride approach and away from the Cancer/AIDs approach. Neurodivergence seems sooo close by taking the rainbow ribbon and turning it into infinity; rather than a start and an end, it is a life cycle. But like G "all by itself" in the 50's, Autism needs to find their "LBTIA++"... I'm looking at you Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
I can't speak for having kids... but yes totally to the "pass as good as you can and stay under the radar". I am sad to hear things have not improved in the schooling system... my parents only praise when I meet my full "NT Capability" and get chastised harshly for failure to meet expectations. They still have no interest in updating their knowledge on Autism from the 1970s.
It's like the question for ADHD, "Are you often late?" and the answer is "No! I have a very carefully crafted system with 3 alarms to go off so I don't miss appointments!" Neurotypical people don't have to do that. Our systems and accommodations help us function, but we need them because of our disability. And, there's literally nothing bad about being disabled.
It's like the LGBT+ community taking back the word Gay. Disabled has been used as a negative for so long people have it collapsed in their mind as an insult. But many people in the disability community are working to destigmatize and let people know disability is just one way "human" shows up in the world. ❤️❤️❤️
Really appreciate your afterthoughts.
Thanks, I'm glad I added it in. 😊
Another insightful video Amanda - keep them coming! The part about internalized ableism really resonates. It's what masking is all about. It's an internalized adaptive (but pathological) response to the ableism of society and our need to assimilate in order to survive. Being open about our "disabilities" is as imporatnt for us as being open about sexual orientation is for gay people.
The term "disability" is unfortunately freighted with negative stereotypes. So is the term "deficits" and even "issues" . I preffer to talk about how autism impacts my experience of the world and social behavior in ways that are fundamentally different than that of non autistic people. The way I see it, "disability" frames "ability" in positive terms since "dis" means "lacking". It also generalizes my specific challenges into an identity "I am disabled" in ways that are not helpful for people wishing to offer support.
So I find it's best to be specific:
"I have difficulty reading social cues, especiily if there are multiple people I'm interacting with. So I need to socialize with people one on one rather than in groups"
"I'm very sensitive / reactive / responsive / insensitive / non-reactive / unresponsive to light / sound / taste / touch / hot / cold / smell. This means I'm burdened heavily by XYZ / PDQ in this situation."
"You might find clothing tags "anoyying". They torture me to the point I cannot think clearly, so I have to cut the tags out of my clothing. Supermarkets are loud environments, so I wear noise canceling headphones. There are overhead flourescent lights that hurt my eyes and give me visual disturbances, auras, and migraine headaches. Eye contact is also difficult for me because it feels so intimate. So I wear a hat and sunglasses indoors to protect my nervous system"
So my "disabilites" are situational and enviromnetally / contextually determined. A better way to frame them might be as "limitations" but these same limitations enable my artistic and musical gifts, while my social limitations provide me with the extended solitude required to make art and compose and practice and rehearse my music"
I'm still figuring it out, but the basic concept is this:
When I'm dealing with autism unfreindly / ignorant / hostile nuerotypical society and people, I AM disabled.
I'm Crippled. By THEM.
When I'm dealing with informed, compasionae, empathetic people, I'm not disabled at all.
I'm gifted. By them too. Enabled. Valued. Seen and heard.
...and that's the miracle of TH-cam. This beautiful, flowering autism community I've found here assuring me I'm not alone or broken or bad or a failure. You and so many others like you have transformed my autism into a gift, rather than a deficit.
So thanks Amanda
=)
Thank you for this very insightful comment. It's exactly the world I want to head towards. Many disabilities are from lack of accomodations. There are people who are blind without the accomodation of glasses. With glasses they don't feel disabled anymore. With the right accomodations and understanding, Autistic people won't feel disabled by their neurotype.
@@i.am.mindblind Exactly. I would go further and note that while blindness limits what a blind person is capable of percieveing and doing, vision limits what a sighted person is capable of percieving and doing also.
When we are reading something (visual activity) our ability to hear (listening activity) is limited.
Our senses come at the expense of each other to a large degree. The mechanisms for this are not well understood because the brain and it's processing, thinking, and conciousness itself are not well understood. It is a fact however.
When I was first studying architecture and learning how to draw freehand / sketch I read a book titled "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Betty Edwards
The book contained a clever exercise that involved copying a lovely Picasso sketch of a man sitting in a chair. An unskilled artist has great difficulty copying such a sketch, but it's very easy to copy once you aquire the skill. The thing is, the skill itself involves perception, and the perception required involves something called "lateralization of brain function"
Broadly speaking, the brain is divided into two bi-laterally symmetrical hemespheres connected by the corpus collostum, a third structure. The right hemephere controlls the left side of your body, (motor functions) and the left controlls the right side. The hemepheres are also - again broadly speaking - specialized and responsible for other cognitive tasks like language and logic and symbolic / abstract thinking (Left hemesphere) and observation, visualization, and non-lateral, intuitive non-verbal creative thinking (right hemesphere).
The thesis of Edwards book is that almost anyone can draw accurate representations freehand as long as they have the ability to see reasonably well and have the fine motor skills necessary to hold a pencil and sign their name. The trick is to "turn off" the left hemesphere. This is challenging for most people - including me - because the left hemesphere tends to be dominant.
She proves her thesis with the Picasso drawing by having readers turn the drawing UPSIDEDOWN and then attempting to copy it. This shuts down the left hemesphere by overloading it with a confusing scramble of lines and shapes it cannot pigion-hole with logic and language short-cuts as "man in chair" followed by a crappy 3 second stick-figure symbol of a man in a chair.
This allows the right hemesphere to do it's thing: To SEE and then draw each line accurately in relation to other lines. Before you know it, an accurate albeit upsidown copy of a Picasso masterpiece emerges from the tip of your pencil, and when you invert the finished product, you are ASTONISHED that you were able to draw so well.
As an architecture professor teaching drawing and sketching I used that exercise hundreds of times over the years, and I never met a student that couldn't make an accurate copy of that Picasso sketch if they took the time and made the effort to copy it inverted.
Some of the most gifted muscians in history were blind. Bethoven was actually deaf at the end of his life, yet he was still able to compose magnificent symphonies. Our senses are what determine both how the world comes to us AND how we interpret and engage with it. Autistic people have extreme sensory profiles. These profiles lead to completely different inner expereinces of the world because sensory data is all our brains have to work with in the end when it comes to interpreting the world around us.
The brain itself is a black box. Conciousness is a mystery that science has litterally no factual ideas or explainations about - just a lot absurd theories - like "reality is a simulation" and utterly useless metaphors and analogies that rely on a-priori assumptions about the supposed truths used to prove their validity.
There's an apocryphal story about a woman arguing with a scientist about the earth resting on the back of a giant turtle. The scientist challenges her by asking:
"....and what is that giant turtle standing on?"
to which she replies:
"Another turtle"
Laughing, the scientist says "C'mon! what is THAT turtle standing on?"
"Oh, that's easy! It's turtles all the way down!"
Whenever anyone challenges the validity of the perceptions and beliefs and attitudes of another person as being pathological or incorrect or disordered, it's best to remind them - and ourselves - that in the end, it's all just turtles all the way down for everyone.
So a little compassion and a lot of humility go a long way when attempting to understand how others understand the world.
...and of course, turtles
=)
The brain really is facinating isn't it? One of my best friends is completely blind and she is better at finding things with her "finger eyes" as she calls them than I am. She'll be searching for a pair of earrings for instance in a jumble of them on her dresser and her fingers find the right pair before my eyes can distinguish the different sets. She often jokes at how "blind" us sighted people are!
@I am MindBlind Nailed it! This is exactly what I've realized about autism itself: It's a difference in distribution of human aptitudes and attention and capacity for focus that's a product of sensory systems exquisitely tuned to sensory information few can percieve.
I have "perfect" color discrimination, but bright light in my eyes causes migraines. I have a form of musical pitch discrimination called relative pitch and can learn songs quickly on guitar just by listening. But loud sounds and sierens cause a massive adreniline dump I used to think were panick attacks, but were actually meltdowns resulting from sensory overload.
These sensitivities neccessarily color our reality and thus behavior relative to the black and white reality of nuerotypical people. When their burden becomes to great, we simply cease functioning.
"How can they be so blind?"
That is the most beautiful and concise ways of summarizing the situation autistic people find ourselves in when it comes to our gifts. They are fragile. When broken they become dangerous, because we carry them so close to our hearts. Shattered gifts can pierce it and kill us.
I believe our gifts choose us. We have no say in the matter. It's our fate, and we must learn to accept and love our fate. This is the meaning of life: To be happy, no matter how much suffering life brings. As Nietsche puts it:
“Amore Fati!” - Love Your Fate!
We are fated with these gifts. They burden us - yet they are us - the essence of our humanity.
So who amoung my autistic sisters and brothers would trade it all for a quiet life in the Matrix? For a quiet, superficial life of tepid, predictable, flat grey normalicy.
A life that slowly kills you....
Not me! - That's for damn sure!
;-)
Hi Amanda. Another great video! May I ask if you could leave any extra text you put on the screen for longer please because I process written words slow and find I miss all that. At least if the text is there longer I get a chance to pause the video and read it rather than trying to go back and find it ❤❤😊
Yes, thanks for the feedback. I edited this one on my phone and I completely failed to lengthen the duration of the words. I'm so sorry, that was a failure on my part!
@@i.am.mindblind Thank you so much. I was not complaining at all, just need a bit more time because my brain doesn’t brain.
I didn't take it as a complaint, it's good feedback and a reminder to adjust that time (the default time set it just too short!) ☺️
As soon as I was diagnosed I disclosed to all my coworkers and my parents.
thanks for sharing the last little tid bit. You are an amazing advocate and I appreciate you sharing your experiences; it helps me to process my own autism diagnosis; I was diagnosed last year, and still processing it and learning how I can unmask without it being overwhelming or making my husband feel uncomfortable.
Thank you, the end piece was appreciated.
My son who just finished his senior year, has an IEP (ADHD, pda) but it was rarely respected by his teachers. Stay on top of that, please.
Will do! And my kids are great at advocating for themselves. In their online school they can schedule calls with teachers and my daughter especially makes many calls to remind about her IEP.
Also for videos and presentations its good to write out some points and a breakdown of your discussion or lecture on some small cue cards. It helps
I do sometimes.
I am more willing to disclose my ADHD, but being self-dx autistic I don’t really share that with anyone, not even family except for a small few. I do disclose what is necessary when I feel the need to advocate for myself, but I’m not securely in the habit of self-advocacy just yet. I’m getting there.
We are all on different journeys and different support systems. No need to disclose unless it benefits you.
Another good video with lots of useful information, Amanda. I marked the video to watch again, to go back and read comments. Thank you.
Such amazing comments! I am so thankful for this community. ❤️❤️❤️
@@i.am.mindblind Agreed. Also, still loving my floor cleaning machine. It’s perfect for adhd person - small ‘batches’ of water, it’s fun, cleans well and it tells you what to do! Maybe tell people about your other channel in the intros?
Thanks! I'm taking a short break from my other channel while recovering from my foot surgery, although another Wet Vac company just sent me one to review! (I bought the Tineco myself.) I've got to figure out how to film it while on crutches or knee scooter. I'm thinking one of my kids will probably help me out! 😂
Good for you mom! IEP for the kids so they don't have to learn how to mask up and can spend their life being themselves!❤❤
Like you I have been loud and proud of my disabilities because now I make sense I was amazed to found out that 75% of narcoleptics don't tell anyone because 75% of the "normal" population does not think it is real.
Narcolepsy is real its just not what you see in movies.
Yep. Media gets so many things wrong.
@I am MindBlind don't get me wrong...
I can laugh at a good narcolepsy joke .... but then I can't move!
lol
See, that's funny because most people don't know that there are 2 types of narcolepsy.
I have narcolepsy 1, which means I have cataplexy. With cataplexy, strong or sudden emotions, good or bad, make my muscles go paralyzed. Your brain decides that you must be dreaming and you go dead weight. Sometimes, there's a warning. You also get really good at falling.
I've often wondered if I had a memory or brain disorder. I can never remember the gifts I give people or the gifts they give me (unless I literally wear it everyday - like my wedding ring). I just figured that it was normal to not remember any teachers' names, except Ms.Higginbotham - like who could forget that name? She was the only one that was nice to me in elementary - I think, unless I just forget about the others. smh
Love that you remember that teachers name. It is a fun name to say. SDAM often I can remember facts like the teachers name, just not the actual experience in that classroom for example. But there are actually lots of different memory disorders, so worth looking into. ❤️
Due to my experience with such, I have strong feelings about special ed classes. They were a horrible experience for me from the last quarter of sixth grade through the first quarter of eighth. Everybody else in the class was so much lower functioning that me. I just knew I didn't belong. Thankfully, a different school system was willing to put me in normal classes. Yes, I got As, Bs and Cs throughout 3/4 of eighth grade and high school, but I never failed a single class. I even ended up taking pre-calculus my senior year as well as physics and did well in both. It was stressful, yes, but much better, for me, than being in special ed classes.
That said, my son has ADHD and auditory processing disorder. He'll be a senior this fall and has had a 504 plan in place since second grade. He's not doing as well as I did, but I think putting him in special ed classes would be an even bigger mistake. My wife, who has been a full time teacher since 2004, is a huge proponent of inclusion. Thus, she feels the same way.
It's good to hear when 504s and IEPs work. Some parents fight for them but the school doesn't uphold them.
That's a sweet puppy (they're _all_ puppies to me). I was 100% healthy for my entire life but now have an invisible disability. In my case, I got Covid which gave me heart failure and crisis level high blood pressure. You can't see that stuff just looking at me. A lot of people have invisible disabilities. Doesn't mean they're not disabled.
I'm sorry covid got you so bad! 😞 That's one reason I'm a disability advocate, it's the one marganlized group any one can become a part of at any time. Yet people don't want to accept or accommodate us.
@@i.am.mindblind Exactly.
I am an artist no way i could paint anything without a picture
The flip side of "disabled" is "gifted". I have to constantly fight to get people to understand how broken I feel because all the outside sees is how "accomplished" I am.
Yeah, I have a master's degree, but I'm currently jobless. Yeah, I have genius level IQ, but very few friends. I struggle to "adult" at a badic level everyday because living is exhausting. And the constand refrain is exactly what you said.
"You dont look disabled" or "just go flip burgers" (my nightmare of social interaction). Our capitalist mindset gives no leeway to mental health.
Perfectly stated.
I guess I can agree with a word, it is just a word after all. It's the quality and nature of how that worrd is percieved. You can see how people's faces change when they are told because they ask or comment about the weirdness. Le Poof, Hey where'd you go?!? I'm pretty sure that's why I hide and mask. If someone is just a little too different, that's just too much for most to handle. Some even consider it sick to befriend or partner up with someone who is mentally disabled. It doen't feel good to see your value rearranged in their eyes when they are informed. Now, try to get them to google it or listen when they now think I'm rainman (turns out dude wasn't autistic or a savant) or banging my head against the wall at home or something. Well you did mention stigmas. Well, that too contributes to our overall downfall as well. I'm pleased you have a spouse and kids and stuff, it makes me happy. That's not how others see me when they get to know me once my physical attractiveness wears thin.
I can't begin to communicate the heartbreak of someone you like or respect losing faith in you simply because they learn of the nature of your birth.
@@humanbeing4995 A solacing song (by Gila Antara) from my heart to yours: th-cam.com/video/idoxVRFokQQ/w-d-xo.html
I'm working to destigmatize disability. I'm only one voice, but I'll keep doing my best and I don't judge anyone who doesn't disclose their invisible Disabilities because each situation is unique. I'm in a place of privilege where I can advocate safely and want to, so I do. Not everyone can or wants to and that is fine.
😔😔
@@i.am.mindblind None of it is an attack. This is my best communication of my own experience. I'm older and it doesn't look like things are going to work out for me. That's ok. Maybe someone will read this and it will save some younger person a lifetime of grief.
How does one go about getting diagnosed for all these things, especially at a late age? I am on Medicaid and I'm not sure if they even cover this type of care.
I'm not sure. Unless you need a medical diagnosis for a legal reason a lot of adults are just researching and self diagnosing or it's called "Self Realized" Autism. There's not much support for Adult autistic so other than understanding your own neurotype and self accomodating there's not much a medical diagnosis can provide. Still, I know it does provide validation and that is something. Some insurance doesn't cover it, I don't know about medicade. You'd need to find a psychologist that is able to do adult autistic evaluations.
probably a dumb unrelated question, but does your dragon plush have a name? i have the same one in blue
Yes! I named it Kitty because I have a black cat (named Echo) and everytime I walked in the room and saw my new dragon I thought it was my cat do I thought Kitty was the perfect name. I don't name all my stuffies, but this one is special.
@@i.am.mindblind i know what you mean, when you hold it, its practically cat sized as well
Did u get all those diagnosis together at the same time?
I learned about aphantasia and SDAM and 38. Self diagnosed, because they aren't in the DSM. They are still being researched. I got medically diagnosed autistic & adhd at 42.
How is any of this a disability? I have 90% of everything you discuss in the videos? I just think im quirky or different. And otherw are as well obviously. But im not sure it effects my daily life and survival. I respect you and your concerns and sharing yourself openly with strangers. I see you and I understand. But I promise you shouldn’t focus on your new diagnosis. Almost everyone has something and you seem healthy and smart and outspoken. Focus on what makes you feel good. All the best xx
Actually studies show that masking shortens the lifespan of Autistic people. Learning about my diagnosis and how to unmask is best for my mental health. If you relate to 90% of what I'm experiencing you might consider doing more research. Autism is very under diagnosed, especially in women.
Triggered..........I am diagnosed at age 58 my sister found out ..I didn't tell her, as I knew how she would respond and I was right...she said
" I work with autistic kids and I don't believe you are autistic , you are just an over thinker and just forget about it and get on with your life...she had no idea how important the whole discovery and diagnosis was to me in my life......ignorant....and probably autistic herself......works with autistic kids yet has no idea what adult late diagnosed high masking autism looks like...I am so angry and hurt and again missunderstood.