Judge To Trump Lawyer: Control Your Client | Christie’s Hot Mic Moment | Belichick Exits

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2024
  • The former president lost his cool in front of the judge in his New York fraud trial today, Chris Christie trashed his GOP rivals before dropping out of the presidential race, and New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is stepping down. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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ความคิดเห็น • 3.1K

  • @toyotaboyhatman
    @toyotaboyhatman 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1127

    Trump said "this attorney general is the reason why Exxon corporation left NY and moved to Texas".. They moved in 1989, 30 years before she was attorney general.

    • @gogreen7794
      @gogreen7794 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +127

      Does Trump have one concrete policy/program/proposal to MAGA? Something that doesn't make him and his cronies wealthier? Something that doesn't blame "the others" for whatever problems Trump makes up and constantly rants about?

    • @amberandrews6842
      @amberandrews6842 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

      ​@@gogreen7794not that I've seen? He yammers on about all kinds of things that weren't done in the four years he had...

    • @GusCraft460
      @GusCraft460 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

      @@gogreen7794I think he said he wanted to build a dome, but that’s as close to a coherent policy as he’s come.

    • @stephaniehenry5617
      @stephaniehenry5617 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +71

      It won't matter to his supporters they believe everything he says. They don't know the definition of research or truth

    • @cheriem432
      @cheriem432 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

      That doesn't matter. To Chump, it's *still* her fault!

  • @jaggerkate
    @jaggerkate 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +169

    The butthole joke has me in tears 🤣🤣😭

    • @TheClairemyst
      @TheClairemyst 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Oh yes it was perfect 🎉🎉🎉

    • @secheclare
      @secheclare 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Ditto. I love when he uses risque words since he's relatively clean.

    • @carolw8579
      @carolw8579 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Yes 😂😂😂😂😂😂!!

    • @xxxx-qo9dh
      @xxxx-qo9dh 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Ew that was SO GROSS

    • @bbigrocker1
      @bbigrocker1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      DITTO!!

  • @mikeblades
    @mikeblades 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    DAMN!!!! Colbert is on fire with these insults and digs. NICE

  • @shelleyc7726
    @shelleyc7726 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    Still trying to catch my breath for laughing so hard at his Fox butthole reference. This will keep a smile on my face and a chuckle in my soul all day. Thank you 😂

  • @xbubblehead
    @xbubblehead 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +609

    Trump 2024: "I'm not gonna have time for retribution."
    Trump 2016: "I'm not gonna have time for golf." And we know how that turned out.

    • @coosoorlog
      @coosoorlog 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Me: "I'm not gonna have time to watch a new netflix show."

    • @pamjones8007
      @pamjones8007 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I have gotten More than one thing from him. That says at the very top in bold guards letters. I am your retribution. That's exactly what he's gonna do.

    • @carlrodrigues6919
      @carlrodrigues6919 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      What ever he says go opposite.. FDT

    • @brianclark9110
      @brianclark9110 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      we need retribution for what the current idiots have done to this country

    • @ParahSalin
      @ParahSalin 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      We all know he’s incapable of telling the truth 😂

  • @mspenney3
    @mspenney3 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +361

    Why don’t these judges ever hold this fool in contempt of court? They let him do whatever he wants in a court room setting

    • @NZBigfoot
      @NZBigfoot 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Their working a fine line, they dont want him to have any recourse for an appeal based on the judge being unfair... its infuriating for us all, and its infuriating for the Judge and his staff, but its all part of the play... give him enough freedom to screw himself over, and make it impossible for him to just get it all thrown out and repeated again and delayed because he calls bias, which is all he's trying to get to happen...
      The gavels coming down on trump soon, but its gotta be done right, or its never gonna end... just gotta have patience.

    • @dankelly2147
      @dankelly2147 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +64

      IMO, the judge allowed him to speak, knowing he isn’t capable of adhering to the caveats, that he would violate them. By allowing a couple minutes of histrionics which the judge called him on, he has ripped the rug out from under any basis of being gagged upon appeal. As Trump does consistently, his own incapacity for self-restraint digs his hole deeper.

    • @c2757
      @c2757 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There is also the fact that it is this judge - on his own with no jury or other judges - who picks the number for the amount Ole' Orange has to pay. Just describe the kind of idiot who twists the tail of someone with that sort of power. Trump got to deliver his final address; in his own mind, the judge just added $20m to Orange's bill for being annoying and orange.

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      no, you must have missed the entire reason this leaden piece of unfunniness was put up: he CAN'T 'do what he wants' im a courtroom setting. . . see the diff?

    • @mynameisworld
      @mynameisworld 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      By letting him stay in the courtroom, they give him more opportunity to say things that can be used against him later.

  • @suezbell1
    @suezbell1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

    How could any woman -- anyone at all -- support that man for any public office. That judge should have held him in contempt and put him in jail for the weekend.

    • @joeygonzo
      @joeygonzo 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because Biden is a saint ? He's a pedo

  • @ChrisEastwoodComedy
    @ChrisEastwoodComedy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    The monologue tonight was FIRE. So many zingers! 😂

  • @intimeoflilacs3528
    @intimeoflilacs3528 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    daaaaaaaaamn son who wrote this monologue 🤣😵 absolutely savage

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +940

    Here's to hoping Donnie gets the punishment he deserves.... in the courts and at the ballot box!

    • @squalley
      @squalley 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      exactly

    • @karowak1
      @karowak1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      And a back alley

    • @guessmyhandle
      @guessmyhandle 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

      I'd prefer a prison cell and all the health care we can provide.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      Somebody has to move into Bernie Madoff's old cell after all. Might as well be Donnie.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      ​​​@@guessmyhandleImagine how much Trump would rage living on welfare made by the BLACK president. Imagine the ketchup stains across the walls.

  • @Stickey14
    @Stickey14 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    YOU ARE GREAT!!!!! DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME WE NEED YOU AND YOUR HUMOR!

    • @QUICKBOOKS1
      @QUICKBOOKS1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This TH-cam Channel, and others, have pulled me through all of this.

  • @patriciatinkey2677
    @patriciatinkey2677 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    Thank you Stephen! 🏆 I missed you when you were gone. Belated thanks, too, for your pandemic work as well. We really needed your humor then, & still do!😊😊😊

    • @OurFoundingLiars
      @OurFoundingLiars 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The humor that literally was sponsored by fiserv

  • @KaiChao1005
    @KaiChao1005 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +139

    Trump's air accordion was going into overdrive during last night's Townhall.

    • @daveedwards1257
      @daveedwards1257 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Hypno Hands 👐🤡
      🤪🥺🤲😳🫣😰

    • @chrisgorman1652
      @chrisgorman1652 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      maybe he's swapped it out for a dynamo so he can make energy for the hamburger?

    • @TheZig726
      @TheZig726 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      His lie meter

    • @user-tn3qf1gg1j
      @user-tn3qf1gg1j 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He uses it to signal to Putin, Russia if your listening I'm about to lose my business license and most of my asset's.

    • @user-nz3gf7sn3p
      @user-nz3gf7sn3p 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Putin runs this shit show, c'mon, the meat puppet is trying to shut the US govt down. I can just see him plotting a way for 22 years to destroy democracy by exporting criminal thugs to all countries near him AND the US (little Odessa in New York) . Everything he does is to continue his kleptocracy, half his country's income goes to evil Putin, and destabilizing the US is good for business​@@user-tn3qf1gg1j

  • @andrewo.b.7638
    @andrewo.b.7638 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +418

    I'm hoping that there will one day be a Trump court appearance in which he will leave the court in handcuffs.

    • @bettinadewoof3309
      @bettinadewoof3309 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      Or one where he has a stroke that leaves him unable to speak.

    • @Legend-mg2ry
      @Legend-mg2ry 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      @@bettinadewoof3309I rather see him get convicted first.

    • @charlesbridges3991
      @charlesbridges3991 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Well if he gets convicted he will have a stroke, so 2 birds one stone. Oh the day. 😮

    • @mortalclown3812
      @mortalclown3812 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@bettinadewoof3309
      Look, I can't stand the mf'er either, but hate devours the hater.

    • @katherineweber8955
      @katherineweber8955 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Oh, please, God, me, too.

  • @rachelmathews6097
    @rachelmathews6097 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Worth the standing ovation…I’m saying this as a New Englander

  • @cz2165
    @cz2165 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Brilliant writing and Stephen always nails the delivery, best in the Biz!

    • @michaeld9682
      @michaeld9682 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He is a corporate shill

  • @shaund9759
    @shaund9759 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +118

    To the writers who wrote this monologue... genius! I hip my hat to you

    • @TallyRocky
      @TallyRocky 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      How do you hip a hat?

    • @dielaughing73
      @dielaughing73 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@TallyRocky Tip Tip, Hooray!

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      what, the side-splitting funny 'gay whale' hilarious joke? geez Louise you're easy to please

    • @jcoopes5604
      @jcoopes5604 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fat fingers too, I’m always off by a key!

    • @Slo-ryde
      @Slo-ryde 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@GaZonk100agree, Dems should use it in their campaign ads😅

  • @JoRiver11
    @JoRiver11 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    The 20 to 30 year bit was gold

  • @amommalee9105
    @amommalee9105 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Damn Stephen, those zinger STUNG. Bravo.

  • @karstenpeters8684
    @karstenpeters8684 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Greetings from germany! Thanks for all the fantastic, intelligent entertainment. I love the show.

  • @robwessels6899
    @robwessels6899 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +200

    Gotta love having Colbert back and Healthy!

    • @nunyabiz1780
      @nunyabiz1780 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      oh he's sooo healthy

  • @bartstarr972
    @bartstarr972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    The butthole joke was spot on and friggin' hilarious !😅😅😅

  • @dawnroth-smith9120
    @dawnroth-smith9120 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    One of the best openings to date, well written and delivered!!! Thank you Stephen (and your excellent Writing team!)!!

  • @Robert.Sheard
    @Robert.Sheard 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

    Even if he's not guilty (and he is SO guilty), his regular breaks from reality should disqualify him from running for anything.

    • @diamondmx3076
      @diamondmx3076 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Definitely. Would be nice if there was some kind of minimum competency bar for the most powerful job on the planet.
      We could throw away most of the candidates!

  • @samanthafordyce5795
    @samanthafordyce5795 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +683

    No time for retribution just as he had no time for golfing while he was president. Yeah, sure. Lies, all lies.

    • @hemlockVape
      @hemlockVape 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I plan to rate my candidates on how many lies told to the public that *have* been disproven.
      💪🏼💙👍🏼

    • @TheDanishGuyReviews
      @TheDanishGuyReviews 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      You're right. You sound like Invader Zim, but you're right.

    • @civil_villain
      @civil_villain 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

      Trump spent about 307 days or about 21% of his presidency golfing. And that doesn't include his "executive time" spent watching TV and tweeting - sometimes as much as 9 hours a day. He was a really hard worker 🙄

    • @salviaspuzzle
      @salviaspuzzle 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      Right! Remember how much he mocked the former for golfing?

    • @JusticeAlways
      @JusticeAlways 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Heard his golf clubs are completely worn out. 😅

  • @Redskizzers
    @Redskizzers 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +212

    can we please go back to never saying his name again?

    • @susanfanning9480
      @susanfanning9480 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Yes. Keep reminding us. Now if we could just make the media to knock it off.
      I'm with you.

    • @6kat103
      @6kat103 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Your mouth to God’s ear. ❤

    • @watersipper1116
      @watersipper1116 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I'm on board with that.

    • @stefanhall3219
      @stefanhall3219 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I Wish.

    • @honorsilverthorne7227
      @honorsilverthorne7227 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      That's what I'm waiting for.

  • @prissilou
    @prissilou 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

    This is why I love Stephen Colbert. He seems to do Trump better than anyone else. And in right on the mark with his comments about Fox News hosts.😂

    • @dianesmith-vaughn1495
      @dianesmith-vaughn1495 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I LOVE YOU. KEEP REPORTING SIR. 70YO BLACK WOMAN IN ATLANTA 😊

  • @kaiateya
    @kaiateya 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The look on the hosts' faces at 4:43 is truly priceless. "For all that is holy, how are we supposed to spin this into supportive comments..."

  • @dmercury292
    @dmercury292 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

    Letitia James bet a dollar she could put Chump in the poor house. Best dollar she ever bet.

  • @laalaa99stl
    @laalaa99stl 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +87

    It was a lost cause as soon as the judge stipulated "follow some rules."

    • @OriginalCreatorSama
      @OriginalCreatorSama 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Any rules at this point. i'm pretty sure trump doesn't see rules and laws, only a biiiiiig bucket list.

  • @countmein33
    @countmein33 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Laughed all the way through this segment! Love Stephen Colbert!

  • @trevorjames1851
    @trevorjames1851 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Writers and Stephen was on fire this monologue.

  • @HappyLife693
    @HappyLife693 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    Butthole joke was epic. 😅

    • @anitatimmons9525
      @anitatimmons9525 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I know so many Flavors were going thru my head then I almost Vurped in my mouth .lol

  • @omobanedo9602
    @omobanedo9602 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +151

    Mr Colbert's satires are out of this world! He is so an expert that he is a virtuoso!!

    • @TallyRocky
      @TallyRocky 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      He has fabulous writers!

    • @suetaylor5159
      @suetaylor5159 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I think some of them are doing coments. If not some of these commenter should be given a job!!!!💙💙💙💙

    • @vercoda9997
      @vercoda9997 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      The other late night hosts are mediocre. Seth Meyers is decent, but Colbert runs rings around them. He should be nicknamed Sonic.

    • @omobanedo9602
      @omobanedo9602 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@suetaylor5159 The commenters are learning from him! He is that good!
      I would not encourage anybody to have words fight with him, he is sure to make a grown man cry instantly!

  • @jenniferschramn4095
    @jenniferschramn4095 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I like his straight communication & clear values. His campaign was a class-act.

  • @sdhm808
    @sdhm808 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Great monologue!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

  • @ULTRAVCATASTROPHE
    @ULTRAVCATASTROPHE 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +225

    I saw Colbert live the day of trump’s inauguration; it’s been great following this entire shitshow with Stephen!

    • @Sjalabais
      @Sjalabais 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      How hard is it to get tickets?

    • @karidavidson1166
      @karidavidson1166 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      The only thing keeping me sane at this point

    • @ULTRAVCATASTROPHE
      @ULTRAVCATASTROPHE 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Sjalabais they’re free! I think they only let you book a month out (but it may be different now) but it just takes looking on the website and waiting for the next time they open bookings

    • @Sjalabais
      @Sjalabais 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ULTRAVCATASTROPHE whoo, amazing! I'm in Norway, but if I ever return to NYC, this is part of my itinerary. :D

  • @Tadicuslegion78
    @Tadicuslegion78 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +165

    now I'm no legal expert, but Judges do have the right to throw people in jail if they misbehave in court?

    • @tabbyreed8925
      @tabbyreed8925 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yes but this judge is completely ball-less.

    • @markwhisler3501
      @markwhisler3501 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      ​@@tabbyreed8925 Engoron is trying to pre-empt reasons for appeal.

    • @swanandrew
      @swanandrew 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      I believe so, which only highlights just how much Trump is getting special treatment.

    • @guessmyhandle
      @guessmyhandle 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Fucking hell, what will trigger contempt of court???

    • @tabbyreed8925
      @tabbyreed8925 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@markwhisler3501 I don't see how holding him in contempt when he is obviously in contempt would lead to that.

  • @torrencarlson180
    @torrencarlson180 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wow what a great monologue! Every joke was a banger! They are always good but this one was excellent. Bravo.

  • @DrKim503
    @DrKim503 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +66

    Does Donald Trump realize he is the single most hated person on the planet?

    • @nancychandler3673
      @nancychandler3673 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Malignant Narcissists never know.

    • @ArtemisSilverBow
      @ArtemisSilverBow 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      ​@nancychandler3673 Malignant narcissists know, they just don't care.

    • @debbievoss3496
      @debbievoss3496 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Oh, he has some competition for that honour.

    • @realtimebiblicalinterpreta6972
      @realtimebiblicalinterpreta6972 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Correct

    • @romulusswiss3467
      @romulusswiss3467 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think he is very loved by at least 50 % of all people

  • @Mamita0352
    @Mamita0352 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +95

    Tonight's monologue was a masterpiece. You killed it Mr. Colbert! Don Quijote tilting at windmills, A lot of people are saying windmills are turning our whales gay. there were so many excellent jokes and puns.

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      no he said this is what Republicans think, but I'm flat out trying to find any comedy in that. . . you found it funny? like, you laughed out loud? at that?

    • @mortalclown3812
      @mortalclown3812 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      The idea that TFG knows who Don Quixote is, tho. 😊

    • @CobaltContrast
      @CobaltContrast 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Paella 🥘

    • @Slo-ryde
      @Slo-ryde 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The joke writers are top notch!

  • @RGNSS-hn8ew
    @RGNSS-hn8ew 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +684

    Trump for Penitentiary 2024!! ⛓️😫⛓️

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Not even Bubba thinks he has a pretty mouth.

    • @LollieVox
      @LollieVox 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      Orange is the new orange!

    • @mpulleyscott
      @mpulleyscott 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Lock him up

    • @user-my9rh7tx1l
      @user-my9rh7tx1l 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Are you going to cry when he loses?
      Can I be there?

    • @MrPhotodoc
      @MrPhotodoc 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's gonna be a great 2024 baby!

  • @qj1247
    @qj1247 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You should have titled that 'Trumper Tantrum'!! 😁

  • @griiseknoen
    @griiseknoen 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

    _"They're transing kids!!!"_
    We now live in a time when a presidential candidate can _seriously_ say insane shit like that in a debate.
    Even worse - a huge chunk of the country actually BELIEVES that insane shit and are "very concerned" about it. America is a tragic comedy.

    • @CMDR_John_Crichton
      @CMDR_John_Crichton 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What's maddening and completely evil is the widespread and targeted hatred of trans people in general in the last few years, with hundreds of anti-trans laws popping up for the sole purpose of either making life for trans people incredibly difficult, or in some places, deliberately trying to push the suicide rate up.
      And what exactly did trans people do to deserve this? Being a bit different, swapping genders, and generally keeping to themselves. THAT'S IT! The entire trans agenda is to just simply survive, to live an authentic life, and mind one's own business, but a huge amount of people, even internationally, seem to believe that's grounds for eradicating the entire trans population. Disgusting.

    • @tiffany5441
      @tiffany5441 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      If you knew what schools are like now, you’d know they’re indeed “transing the kids.” Maybe not directly, but something isn’t adding up. I’ve been a teacher for 30 years, and 10 years ago I’ve had maybe 5 gay students in total. In These last 3 years I have seen so many trans and gay kids that it statistically doesn’t make sense. I know people say “they’re just more accepted and they can come out.” But we legitimately wouldn’t have a human species if 25% of us were trans or gay. There’s some form of unnatural LGBTQ influence

  • @lbednaz
    @lbednaz 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +37

    We can only hope DUMPTY gets 30 years!

  • @D.E.X
    @D.E.X 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Two of the Diaper Don's most important statements:
    If I am elected, I won't have any time to play golf.
    When elected, I won't have time to be a dictator.
    Though those are doozies, he best is still when he said ""I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
    It is that lie that always gets me, right here.

  • @PeskySheBeard
    @PeskySheBeard 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Like a scalpel... You are exacting and brilliant Mr. Colbert

  • @jameshallett5395
    @jameshallett5395 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    God Bless you, Stephen.

  • @MoreThanYouTimesTwo
    @MoreThanYouTimesTwo 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    Remember when he said he wouldn't have time to golf as President????

    • @michaeld9682
      @michaeld9682 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Remember when Trump achieved energy independence, a secured border, and less crime?

    • @MoreThanYouTimesTwo
      @MoreThanYouTimesTwo 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@michaeld9682 not really, no. I remember being embarrassed by his representing our Country, not being able to make a reasonable statement, acting like a second grade bully calling people names, begging for love, no one's ever blah blah blah tears in his eyes... Just lies and nonsense

    • @michaeld9682
      @michaeld9682 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @MoreThanYouTimesTwo are you a victim of operation mockingbird?

    • @MoreThanYouTimesTwo
      @MoreThanYouTimesTwo 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@michaeld9682 no a victim of the Electoral College putting in a person as President who lost the vote by more than 3 million votes.

  • @DanteMasaru
    @DanteMasaru 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +38

    Stephen was on a roll tonight with the jokes.

  • @barbaraolson6783
    @barbaraolson6783 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you for your humorous insights . Stress has United the world as we watch him free

  • @balestra-fe5qc
    @balestra-fe5qc 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Stephen on top form - brilliant!

  • @civil_villain
    @civil_villain 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +750

    Trump spent about 307 days or about 21% of his presidency golfing. And that doesn't include his "executive time" spent watching TV and tweeting - sometimes as much as 9 hours a day. He was a really hard worker 🙄

    • @c0mpu73rguy
      @c0mpu73rguy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

      Wasn’t that a blessing in disguise in a way? Imagine if he 100% commited to his program instead.

    • @TheKillerman3333
      @TheKillerman3333 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      I would like to point out that he also passed almost 1200 bills into law based on congress's official website. However that means that while he was working, he was signing away people's freedoms too.

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      well, at least HE is awake in the day hours

    • @mynameisworld
      @mynameisworld 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      Hey, come on now, give him some credit! It's hard to ride around in a golf cart! Those things don't have doors or seat belts! You have to use your own strength to ride in it without falling out! And those TV remote buttons can be such a pain, trying to find the right button to push when you read at a 3rd grade level!

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      didn't he address the United Nations (without sharting) once?

  • @Cypresssina
    @Cypresssina 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Remember when he said he wouldn't have time for golf?

  • @brentgarrett65
    @brentgarrett65 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The writing just gets better... You should win the Amy for this show😂 just because of his attachment to old news laced with new news

  • @sememmer1
    @sememmer1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The jokes were extra on point this night!

  • @bazzer124
    @bazzer124 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +89

    Absolute immunity? More like absolute insanity. Lock up Capt Poopy Pants. Cheers....

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      whoops, you got the wrong one there, fella

    • @jenniferjaurigue9660
      @jenniferjaurigue9660 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@GaZonk100No, you have the wrong one ..Traitor

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      er, no. . .who was the one who sharted overseas in a meeting with THE POPE lol?@@jenniferjaurigue9660

    • @bazzer124
      @bazzer124 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@GaZonk100 which one is wrong? The absolute immunity or insanity? Cheers....

    • @gracemunich1476
      @gracemunich1476 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      absolute incompetence, evilness and pure stupidity.

  • @desireeespinosa3954
    @desireeespinosa3954 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +390

    Any one of us would have been arrested IMMEDIATELY for Contempt of Court 🤬

    • @user-rx9lq9mn3y
      @user-rx9lq9mn3y 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Most definitely! This just shows There's 2 justice systems in this country

    • @57Strudel
      @57Strudel 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      He keeps whining about how unfair all of this is. Yes! It's completely unfair to the vast majority of us who follow instructions and recognize a court's authority, who pay our taxes, who do NOT lie on returns... I got dinged for reporting an amount that was off by twenty bucks on our taxes a few years back. Didn't ever get a form for the exact amount so I made a good faith estimate. Got the bill for the underpayment AND a penalty - for twenty bucks. And this gross excuse for a human being gets away with lying about millions.

    • @chrisg9840
      @chrisg9840 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Any average person. That in itself should tell you both sides are garbage.

    • @richborn6700
      @richborn6700 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@57Strudelwhat confounds me the most is how this situation that happened to you has happened to millions of other Americans, who still watch Trump on TV and say "Yep that is still my guy till the end" as he blatantly gets away with everything you never could. Sycophants

    • @julioperes4430
      @julioperes4430 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not mister white privilege in the flesh Hunter Biden!

  • @ezechialtaylor2331
    @ezechialtaylor2331 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The "we have to kill the batman " and lawyer grimace had me laugh out loud lol

  • @susanmepham2492
    @susanmepham2492 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Colbert was running on all cylinders tonight!! Every joke hit the mark!

  • @JadeValour
    @JadeValour 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

    I love you and your writers, Stephen! You make living in The Age of Trump bearable!💖💖💖🤣🤣🤣

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ah,yes I remember the age of Trump when there weren't ten million illegals a year flooding the country. . .glad those days are gone!

  • @dadadadoog
    @dadadadoog 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +681

    I used to think that stupidity was just zero intelligence, but Trump has shown it to have a magnitude of its own.

    • @bookie5667
      @bookie5667 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      Shouldn't that be magnet-tude?

    • @susanfanning9480
      @susanfanning9480 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Trump is a negative 1 ,000.

    • @gabriellemolinaro6750
      @gabriellemolinaro6750 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      MAGA-tude. But yeah, he has a magnetic personality to a lot of people (charismatic).

    • @jenniferwinn5536
      @jenniferwinn5536 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Ignorance is a choice. Stupid is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Intelligence is a whole other thing. Very difficult to measure.

    • @teresaflynn2831
      @teresaflynn2831 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      "The measure of intelligence is the ability to change"​@@jenniferwinn5536

  • @thisismetoday
    @thisismetoday 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Oh the buckle joke was 😚👌

  • @SevenEasy
    @SevenEasy 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Always good to see Colbert killing it, makes me laugh everytime

  • @Coolestmovies
    @Coolestmovies 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +44

    Grimace is the ideal lawyer for a fast food clown.

  • @shermanculbertson6244
    @shermanculbertson6244 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2863

    The fact than even one person supports Trump is horrifying and completely embarrassing.

    • @berneyvonk1
      @berneyvonk1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +170

      The big problem is that there are millions of them and they vote

    • @MrFancyFingers
      @MrFancyFingers 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +233

      @@berneyvonk1
      And they’re allowed to parent, that’s scary.

    • @greenthumb8266
      @greenthumb8266 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

      And my comment was censored, guess you can’t tell the truth on YT if it’s against the dictator wanna be.

    • @greenthumb8266
      @greenthumb8266 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      @@berneyvonk1not if he tells them not to, like he did last time, dim bulb that one.

    • @philster6383
      @philster6383 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +134

      Look at the crowd applauding him all white and over 90% old. I am also white and old and am disgusted with these enablers

  • @gregmillage1275
    @gregmillage1275 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "I'm not going to have time for retribution" Sippy Cup Caligula said the same thing about golf when he was running the first time... We saw how that went.

  • @eric2500
    @eric2500 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "Control your client"
    Yeah, that'll work.

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +77

    The entire monologue was just brilliant. So many good walk-off jokes.

  • @hemlockVape
    @hemlockVape 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    He already had his shot and showed his ass the whole time. We know what his idea of 'success' is: hard pass.
    💪🏼💙👍🏽

    • @susanfanning9480
      @susanfanning9480 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Sadly, money hungry politicians and people who can't read. That's the reason in a nutshell .

  • @zacharybarthelman7295
    @zacharybarthelman7295 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Given the fact that Mr. Colbert lost his father and 2 brothers in a plane crash, it strikes me as especially brave that he can joke around with such humorous ease about airlines, planes, related malfunctions, and so on.

  • @MarkLRandall
    @MarkLRandall 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Can't believe the judge slipped, and let the con man speak. It's not a surprise what he's going to say.

  • @sabinawoods5134
    @sabinawoods5134 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    Man Stephen you were on fire tonight! Joke after spot on joke, hilarious! Thank you for the continuous laughs!

  • @nancyaydell1208
    @nancyaydell1208 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    Comedy GOLD 🎉😂❤

  • @oscarlacson1471
    @oscarlacson1471 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    “Deflated!”😂😂😂

  • @annefitz7346
    @annefitz7346 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    VOTE BLUE. great writing great delivery- again 👍👏👍💕

  • @anewactor
    @anewactor 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +75

    Stephen Colbert is truly the best! Priceless anecdotes that'll last the test of time!

    • @1979snicks
      @1979snicks 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      A-freakin-men!! Mate... since university on the daily show, he has been my bloody favorite I swear!

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      or until dwindling unwatched show is cancelled lol

    • @mortalclown3812
      @mortalclown3812 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@GaZonk100
      Yet GaZonkKaren is here
      😂

    • @GaZonk100
      @GaZonk100 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      where am I wrong?@@mortalclown3812

    • @joesmith6524
      @joesmith6524 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He sucks!

  • @goblinwisdom
    @goblinwisdom 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    After losing which lawsuit, do we get to call him disgraced former president?
    Because hes already lost the E Jean carol sexual assault case, when do we accurately describe him.

    • @davidlundquist1979
      @davidlundquist1979 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He was a disgrace long before he was a former president. It's just kind of his default state of being.

    • @LeafHuntress
      @LeafHuntress 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      In the UK a programme already does.

  • @WevvMang
    @WevvMang 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    If I could two thumbs up I would. Great monologue Colbert!

  • @debaser7514
    @debaser7514 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It's all energy...

  • @ncooty
    @ncooty 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    5 stars for that deflation joke.
    Well done, writers.

  • @robertshields4160
    @robertshields4160 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    Stream of consciousness? More like Deluge of Diarrhea.

  • @christophermitchum6829
    @christophermitchum6829 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Friggin hilarious 🤪

  • @gregieduran2634
    @gregieduran2634 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love the deflated joke that is awesome!

  • @Kpimpmaster
    @Kpimpmaster 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    Pity it was a civil trial or the judge can question his mental competency and lock him up in the nut house

  • @terimiller6814
    @terimiller6814 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +205

    Dear Mr. Colbert please never quit, you're keeping me sane!

    • @ivantibormate7086
      @ivantibormate7086 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Sane by Colbert. Accept my sympathy.

    • @christopherdowdey7463
      @christopherdowdey7463 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Stephen colbert is a complete partisan far left Democrat..
      Always speaking to a far left audience. He constantly promotes the hate Trump narrative. VOTE IN 2024 FOR TRUMP

  • @eagledice2008
    @eagledice2008 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The sketch artist deserves an award😂😂😂

  • @maynewzion2661
    @maynewzion2661 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You’re the best. Thank you

  • @synchronicitystudios8217
    @synchronicitystudios8217 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +54

    The “deflated” joke was top tier

    • @RedDragonM1
      @RedDragonM1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No it wasn't.

    • @ray.shoesmith
      @ray.shoesmith 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It was a terrible joke tbh, and I hate the Pats

    • @YouWinAFREEiPOD
      @YouWinAFREEiPOD 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I too, the minority of the audience, did not laugh and in my unbiased, unbutthurt, non-petulant findings: No. It is not a funny joke.

    • @porunga1615
      @porunga1615 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      No clue what the hell it even means.

    • @ray.shoesmith
      @ray.shoesmith 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@porunga1615 There was a controversy about New England playing with underinflated footballs a few years back that's all. It was called deflategate or something like that.

  • @swmsalem
    @swmsalem 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Guitar riff to Jail House Rock... Well done sir.

  • @donnao2685
    @donnao2685 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    "Energy is so big!" declared the stable genius.

  • @LovePixels
    @LovePixels 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Colbert and Fallon have the best musical bands in late night!

  • @missybarbour6885
    @missybarbour6885 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    The "Jail House Rock" sting was comedic genius by Lewis, and Stephen didn't miss a beat!

  • @Aace00
    @Aace00 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +76

    I love how Colbert just casually inserts Bilbo Baggins into his monologue lol

  • @Tocatheowlfreak
    @Tocatheowlfreak 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I'm happy he didn't intend to deadname grimace 💜

    • @--REDACTED--GS1
      @--REDACTED--GS1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There's always options though

  • @nmga4022
    @nmga4022 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Windmills are actually The Netherlands posta cards and they are beautifuls 🎉🎉🎉

  • @marceld6061
    @marceld6061 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    That 20-30 years joke ran in my head before it rolled off his lips. The 'deflated' one got me though.

  • @Ironcorgi2
    @Ironcorgi2 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    It’s a really bad strategy to insult the judge in a bench trial

  • @marksanders768
    @marksanders768 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    10:16 - THANK YOU for saying "Airbus A319" and not "Airbus 319"... I can't believe how hard it is for people to get that right.

  • @markfilipas1763
    @markfilipas1763 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    The fact that there are 1.4k "dislikes" for this video goes to show how many people take themselves so seriously that they can't laugh at themselves. The fact that there are 52k "likes" gives me hope.