Livestream: The truth of Cheating and Monkey Branching
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I've been married for 21 years my wife left me and my three children soon as she found and replacement.I fine cheating is the worst thing that can happen emotionally to anyone.
It really is. 😢I’m very sorry that happened to you and your kids
I am going through this right now, and this video has been incredibly helpful for helping me get through it. I’ve listened to it over and over again. Thank you so much for this.
Hi Ricky, I hope you’re feeling. I’m going through this right now as well. I just understand how you feel and I hope you’re doing good!
Dude, you are perhaps the most perceptive person I’ve come across in this breakup journey I’m on. I really appreciate you and the insights you’re bringing here. The raw honesty is humbling. Thank you! ( I was dumped, and blindsided. My best friend and lover was cheating on me perhaps for years. I only wish I had known or looked into our issues years ago and known about attachment etc. you’ve said all the things that are buried inside my mind and heart).
I was never really afraid of the silly little cooze- I was afraid that she would cease to love me, and because I loved her to pieces, I didn't want that to happen. I still love her, and I suppose that I always will. I've learned to live with it. I still wear my original weather-beaten wedding ring, so I've still got a long way to go in healing. But however long the feeling lasts I'm going to honor it, and honor myself. I know what happened, I know what I gave, and I know what I lost. But I didn't lose my feelings for her at all...I just know now (after a year of pseudo-research and deep examination of my psyche) that I don't need to do anything about that fact. I can carry the love I have for her without denying it or lying about it, but I don't need to give her any access to it.
I came across this video tonight. It is very insightful and informative. My Fearful Avoidant ex monkey branched to another woman, a distant cousin, six weeks ago. I am secure attachment, BTW. We were in a relationship/situationship for four years. Actually, I thought we had a good relationship. We had few arguments, enjoyed each other's company, and had a great connection. I noticed the slow fade taking place over time, but thought he needed his space. I am also an independent person with my own family, friends, and life. What made absolutely no sense is that he offered me "friendship" and business as usual. In other words, he wanted to keep me as a side chick while he dated the new love "to see how it goes". I said no and walked away without a tear. I have had no contact with him since. After a period of heartbreak and sadness, I am beginning to live again. My life is better now without the weight of a toxic relationship. We both love each other. I know him very well, and he does love me. It's very sad. Sometimes love is not enough. I sympathize with folks with insecure attachment styles.
I think mostly monkey branching people are hearbroken by an ex relationship, with previoys emotional wounds from his own life, childhood or personality.
And sometimes there is compulsive sexual attitude, drug abuse, emotional turmoil...
Since my divorce three years ago i am at my journy of my self develepment. Recently been ghosted by a new LTR. For the first time i hear from monky branching instead of a rebound. I just wanna say that i have again a big step in the understatement of life thanks to this post. Greetings from belgium. Many thanks!
I've watched tons of videos and I've found yours quite informative. My situation wasn't the typical, but i gave up everything for my ex gf. Two years together and after a series of fights and childish behaviors between us both, she dumped me by text and attempted to ghost me. I tracked her down and told her what she did was shitty and showed me my value and learned I was monkey branched. She texted me that night and I ignored her until she texted again and pissed me off. Found out she was drunk and the next day gave her a choice and she chose the other guy. Told her have a nice life and walked out while she sobbed. That was now 26 days ago and the pain was excruciating. I'm really trying to focus on me now
I’ve been where you are now. I know it’s hard- but all you can do is turn that love inward and focus on taking care of yourself. Rebounds almost always fail. She will be sorry in the long run. Stay strong. Don’t let her see how hurt u are.
The same thing just happened to me she denied it up until I caught them in the bar together. Unbelievable she still text me everyday saying she loves me and that she's sad and lonely yet she is staying at the new dude's house. In this video really really really helped out of all the ones I've seen
Hey man can I get an update? This was three years ago and I know enough time has passed. How are you now?
Wow this got real deep. You are such a wealth of knowledge and wisdom in a way that is accessible and easy to follow. Thank you for sharing these insights with us that many would probably never learn in a couple of lifetimes! Your content is amazing.
It means a lot, thank you :)
Extremely informative, I’ve watched hundreds of hours of relationship videos including the personal development school. This video describes my FA ex to a tee. Thanks for your wise words. It came at the right time for me
I'm really glad to hear! All I ask is that you pay it forward! When you're in a good place, help someone who isnt.
My ex of 5 years monkeybranched to her 2nd last ex. 7 month later she came crawling back. Went to therapy and in a matter of 5 month seemingly we worked it out. Then I found out she also had a sexual-mailing "friend" to whom they exchanged what would they do with each other, in every bit of detail. So I stopped dating her. She full chased me heavy, and in 2 month we worked it out.
3 years later she sais me: "i think we should break up". Only to find out again, that her very first ex finally got divorced, and she jumped on it immediately.... And its not her fault, I found out who she is. Totally my fault to trust her.
Why fight for someone who monkey branches...let them go..monkey branching is highly deceptive and a choice...look for a more high value partner instead... someone with integrity!
Very enlightning !!! Just in time to start 2021 in a new way, to let go of the past no matter how much it hurts and move on. Thanks !!!
This was an amazing and insightful video. Thankyou very much.
This was the most informative video. Thank you
Childhood trauma.... funny thing is that these ppl dont like secure ppl .. secure ppl are boring btw my ex is FA beginning was anxious at the end she was avoidant
Thank you for what you do buddy! It's a good reflection on why things happen the way they do.
I've found my husband downgraded with the coworker he monkey branched to. Why do they choose to downgrade and go the complete opposite of you?
My husband did the same. She can have him. They are both cheaters
14 dislikes from cheaters and monkey branchers who can't admit they have security issues. LOL.
Jokes on them. 14 is a lucky number!
My ex left me after 4 years and two children, she says she was miserable for years and wanted to leave for a long time , I always gave her the option to but she decided to cheat on me with her childhood friend, funny thing is I sat in the pain and let go .
The “ no contact” behavior is perfectly working for couples without children. My Ex husband monkey branched me and is insisting to see our children daily after work at least 1 h and he brings them to the kindergarten ( since he works there- by the way his new branch girl is his team worker at work!)- at least our kids are not in the same group🤮 so how can I do this then?
If you put on your thinking cap and activate your Spidey sense, you can feel what they're trying to pull on you, and then beat them to the punch. They HATE that. 😁
I grew up with my parents cheating and never cheated but my husband did and his parents never cheated
After 10yrs together, we split he came back 4wks later for 7mths in my new home, then left 28/11... 2 wks later I heard he is seeing someone just like that. Hello MBing. 💔
I am determining what actually happened here re timelines, but from our side, the viewers, for many of us it's not what we wanted at all.
Your informative videos I am finding to be of immense value helping me to try and be strong daily as I listen and take your advice. My mind feels numb with emotional pain.
This week has been tears again, feeling really down.
I cannot even think of wanting another man and starting over again at 49. I'm just focussing on my son and I right now. After all I did for our blended-family of 6, with adult children 24/7, (which hurt us as a couple). I wish we at least were missed! 🙈 Ive not spoken to him as I feel disrespected and hurt.
He destroyed the trust we had which I believed in the most. 💔 I need to see my 2 big dogs at what was 'our home' as they're like my kids then walk them regularly, but I do not know how to handle myself if and when I see him!! 🙈🙈🙈 The clock is ticking as I want to see them and they cannot stay with me.
Could you please do a video on how to keep control and how to be that high-value person if you have to see each other for kids, dogs, work, sports whatever 🤷🏼♀️ of course all of us want our ex's to see the now better version of the person, they discarded.
What I beautiful name Alena
Acceptance can be the hardest thing when betrayal is so sudden. You’re left questioning your value consistently. Know that when people discard like this is says more about them than it does about you. With time you will find peace as your brain physically heals from the trauma. I can make a video in the near future. Feel free to jump on the discord if you need to talk about it. A lot of people are free to help
My ex emotionally cheated and I was aware and we broke up. I did the no contact and 5 days later he contacted me. Then that weekend we are in bed and then the the girl texts him and he wouldn’t show me when I asked. That weekend I know I freaked him out with the 24/7 questioning. The Monday we broke up again. In the matter from Monday to Thursday we had a wave of letting go and the u will always be in my heart. He told me in the end that he needs time to think and he texted me back too soon because I was asking the questions but while he @needs time to think@ he is now spending time with this girl. I texted again and now he’s ignoring me. Did I miss my shot ? I immediately started the no contact now. This all happened so fast I’m talking 3 weeks. The only reason he finally left is because I saw the text from the girl. I feel if I didn’t see it we would be together now.
Nothing you could have done to prevent him staying in touch with this girl if he was going to in the first place...and you seeing the text was a blessing. Let him go figure that out. If he's uncertain, that's your answer. Ignoring texts is inexcusable (assuming they're not inflammatory). Go work on getting yourself right...with the ability to move on without wanting to take him back if he can't figure things out definitively. At this point, taking him back diminishes your value...and while you may want him back at the moment...you really don't. You want somebody that offers more safety and security and that values you enough to clearly provide it. Good luck!
Move on, know your worth, you are wasting your life on this idiot
For all of you that are listing to Clutch. He set me very straight on this subject. I was hurt badly. His wisdom and advice was much needed. As soon as my ex monkey branched 5 months ago I got into therapy right away. It’s a place I can talk it out and I can cry safely and get it out. I’m just someone that went through it and this Coach helps and so does therapy. I couldn’t imagine going through this alone. I’m glad there is a forum such as this. Best to all of you going through any kind of break up
Hi Todd. I’m glad the video response helped! You got this!
thank you for this comment. maybe I do need therapy. just feel less as a man thinking about it. I'm just gonna have to do it. never in my life did I think id ever get to this point. makes me feel like she's won and even more defeated. congrats, she fucking broke me. she wins. she got her wish, I can't even act like it doesnt bother me. she knows how destroyed I am and it probably repulses her even more. why did I have display to her that it broke me. why couldn't I have just acted like it didn't bother me. sorry I can't just be strong and act like our whole relationship didn't mean anything, like how she acts. i just want to explode even after it's been 4 or 5 months
@@lootsk4210 look I completely emphasize with you. I was devastated as well. It’s been 6 months for me this month. I’ve been in therapy from day one. It helps. I have not heard anything from her. She’s happy and engaged and lives with him. I didn’t think I could live either. Didn’t want to. I prayed for death to take me. But therapy helps and so did some close friends that cared. I still do love her, not sure that will ever change. I journal every single day and that also helps get things on paper and out of your head. I read on abandonment and attachment styles. Letting Go is a good book as well. I’m just here to say if anyone knows what your feeling and going through I’m probably that person. I still am having a difficult time with this break up but I’m proactive and everything I do helps. Let me know if there’s any I can help you with. And I’m so very sorry your going through this. I truly am
I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other.
I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from
Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim
And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while.
The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would visit him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her !
There’s a big difference between calling something “normal” versus “common”.
I think I did watch this when you released it. In Jan of this year I did find out my ex did monkey branch and maybe was the reason we split too. I had a feeling she was being disloyal. The guy told me himself after I spoke with him. That she started flirting with him. I was on cloud 9 because I had ended the relationship initially but then tried to work it out the day after around 12 hours later. She was nope nope nope. So in turn I became the dumpee? But after hearing she did that made me much happier and solidified that my gut was correct.
monkey branching implies cheating
it doesn't imply... it is cheating. Emotional cheating is the stage before physical cheating.
Monkey b is evil. Or its hurts the other, is hurts the person 's temple, relationship doesn't start normally
How do you show another your interested but know you can't because of the pandemic. This day is so messed up
Love this video good job keep up the great work 👍
Wow! I am stunned at MY ex......but to understand this video, it's content, how it TRULY applies to my ex. ......this is truly incredible.
Thank you for THIS video in particular!
So far this is everything in my situation.
LDRS monkey branch can apply it tioo?
Can relationship born out of monkey branch survive?
glittern Glossed sure it can. The main question is why did the person need to monkey branch? More than likely they have some underlying issues on being alone that need to be addressed.
Beware.
I feel like if they did it once, they will do it twice.
That monkey brancher will only do it again. I hope it gets done to them 10x worse. People who leave trails of broken hearts deserve to be hurt worse
@@MikeKillian this happened to me this year. Completely Devastated. But don’t forget, the other person is usually an Orbiter. They are relentlessly trying to get your significant other away from you. This happened and truthfully I didn’t see t coming. She didn’t give me any outwardly signs . So I wasn’t mindful of my relationship. I wasn’t taking care of the relationship and it happened. Please people, if you really love your partner, work on your relationship daily. Get needs met for both of you. And things like this might not happen
It’s been 2 years, why is it taking so long. He monkey branched and is in another relationship after that.
You shouldn’t be waiting. You should be healing and learning. Don’t lose sight of what’s important in this journey
Dont wait, you move forward. If they ever reach out, good. If not, good.
One of my ex who monkeybranched (we was in our 30's) reached out just last year, after 14 !!! years. Dont wait for them please. Almost all of them reached out to me, the soonest ~7month, the record is 14 years. The median was about 3-4 years.
Damn . So much man