How To Deal With Negative Comments From Family & Friends

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
  • 6 Tips To Deal With The Negative Comments That Come With Self Improvement
    goo.gl/Exsh64
    When we make positive changes and pursue self improvement, we sometimes attract negative comments from our friends and loved ones. It doesn't matter if you start taking your fitness seriously, starting a business, or implementing the charisma tips you see on this channel, whenever you start to grow there are inevitably people who would like to see you stay the same
    In this video I want to teach you how to deal with negative comments and hopefully turn that negativity to positivity. There are 6 tips I cover are
    1. Use the toddler technique
    2. Purposely misinterpret passive aggressive questions
    3. Answer their questions with vulnerability
    4. Use the 1 sentence rebuttal
    5. Don't recruit; live it
    6. Find one other person
    Those 6 things have been a huge help in removing negativity from my own life. I hope you find them helpful in removing negative comments and negative friends from yours.
    Subscribe to Charisma On Command: bit.ly/subscrib...
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    Website: www.charismaonc...
    Facebook: / charismaoncommand
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    Or if you want to see my personal stuff (my regular life + me playing music):
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    Periscope: @CharlieHoupert

ความคิดเห็น • 1.4K

  • @shadesofdeegray
    @shadesofdeegray 8 ปีที่แล้ว +810

    omg...I had to deal with a negative comment. The person I was talking to, said actually what you said in your video. "That why I will never do that!" then they gave that little "I am better than you laugh" My brain was like..say it say it say it!!!!.... I very politely said... "That is why we are different." (could remember actually what you said..dang) And let the awkward silence linger. They had no come back, no laughing no nothing..... then was so nice afterwards.... THANK YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!

    • @MarieBenard
      @MarieBenard 8 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      awesome!

    • @rolkstone
      @rolkstone 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      nice one!!!

    • @wisdom-for-life
      @wisdom-for-life 6 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      I like your response better than the video's suggestion! It's not as aggressive.. it's just a true statement - "that's why we are different"... BOOM.. awesome!!!

    • @charxy_p8574
      @charxy_p8574 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Omg that's badass and I LOVE IT

    • @cheesecakelasagna
      @cheesecakelasagna 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      More powers to you!

  • @DiegoMachida
    @DiegoMachida 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2122

    You kinda did open a philosophy store though. :D

    • @mynametrong5508
      @mynametrong5508 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      truuuuu

    • @kangaroofoot
      @kangaroofoot 6 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      Way to turn other people’s attacks into your paycheck. Pretty great.

    • @bonjourtristesse9433
      @bonjourtristesse9433 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Lmao, best comment!! 😂 😂

    • @mrdarknsxy
      @mrdarknsxy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Most definitely he did for sure

    • @internetenjoyer1044
      @internetenjoyer1044 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      no, he does self development not philosophy. he does more psyscology, philosophy is really a dry, abstract, technical field.

  • @Jamesucht
    @Jamesucht 8 ปีที่แล้ว +285

    "I studied philosophy."
    or...did you??

    • @kyre4189
      @kyre4189 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      hey vsauce

    • @carla4954
      @carla4954 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Cicada3773
      @Cicada3773 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      One does not simply study philosophy. Philosophy studies you.

    • @ejej_shej7958
      @ejej_shej7958 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Vsauce

    • @th3benster909
      @th3benster909 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Cicada3773 one does not go to Russia
      Russia goes to you

  • @BenFitterman
    @BenFitterman 8 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    Great advice for sound engineers. It's hard to work in a stressful environment and then have someone throw a negative comment in the mix. It's taken years to learn how not to over react. Thanks!

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Appreciate that!

    • @SafariPhaladi
      @SafariPhaladi 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Not everything has to be perfect"💯
      ~Kevin Parker

    • @hicknopunk
      @hicknopunk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I know your pain Ben!

  • @davidbennington1214
    @davidbennington1214 8 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Hey man, I just wanted to let you know that what you're doing is a great thing. cutting people out has been difficult, but as my circle gets smaller I have developed more room for my own personal growth.

    • @notequalto5179
      @notequalto5179 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cutting out the negative people is hard but worth it brother.

    • @judys5767
      @judys5767 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here -- so tired of dealing with negative people or trying to please them. I am enjoying life more.

  • @vanessarahimi550
    @vanessarahimi550 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    It feels like when I ignore the negative comments, they get more comfortable with making them and people end up taking advantage of my patience by saying and doing whatever they want. I dont know how to get around it because when I do stand up for myself, they dont take it seriously and tease and keep going or laugh, but when I ignore it then they keep going. I dont mean they keep going for hours, no, they keep going for years. I just dont know how to deal with this anymore

  • @brown-eyednatural1886
    @brown-eyednatural1886 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love that you said 'go find your tribe.' This is exactly the path I've been on lately.

  • @RemusNeo
    @RemusNeo 8 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I just discovered your channel today through your GOT video about Power and I've already watched half of your videos.
    You managed to get a lot of subscribers with not that many total views, a very good ratio, keep it up and this channel will become big! :)

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      +Remus That's awesome! Glad to hear that the non-GoT videos are getting some love too :-)

    • @arielbrill4622
      @arielbrill4622 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      i agree
      great videos

    • @AnonymousAccount514
      @AnonymousAccount514 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      what's got?

  • @celloepearl
    @celloepearl 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much! The last pointer made me realize why what I am trying to do feels so hard and makes me feel like I have an insubstantial, unproductive (and sort of weird) passion for music. I now know what I am looking for. I need someone like me who wants to excel and grow in excellence and experience the beauty of music that I love and find in playing cello.

  • @2131Rachel
    @2131Rachel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I’m a homeschooling mom of six and I frequently get the “I could never…” comment. I’ve always responded that we each need to do what’s best for our own kids. I never understood why that response left them speechless. 😆

  • @callumward3815
    @callumward3815 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This guy is the real deal, he’s helped me so much with social skills and I’ve got so much out of it it’s just a shame about his skinny muscles bless him

  • @Handsun1996
    @Handsun1996 8 ปีที่แล้ว +234

    My personal advice is to not show people that you are improving yourself. Hide it, don't flaunt it. Let them wallow at the bottom of the crab bucket as you covertly become stronger on all dimensions. This makes your success look natural and accidental, leading to less envy and jealousy. Why? Because people will attribute their failures to misfortune if they think you just "got lucky". On the other hand, if they witnessed all the effort that you put into your transformation, they will be harshly reminded that their own shortcomings are actually their own fault. This, I believe, is what will create vitriol that could have been avoided. Let me know what you think, would love to hear your thoughts on this, even though in your case due to your exposure your friends and family are well aware of your self improvement path.

    • @ari29
      @ari29 8 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      +DanyHeatley correct me if im wrong but if they think you got lucky then they will taunt you by saying you dont deserve your success and what not however if you show it they will put you down so you lose either way

    • @Handsun1996
      @Handsun1996 8 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      +Ari Gabriel In those people's minds nobody except for them deserves success. You're right though, it is a lose-lose situation. But at the end of the day, who gives a fuck, you're improving, they're not.

    • @mrjakkiebah
      @mrjakkiebah 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      +DanyHeatley I think you mean don't SHOW-off, if people are genuinely interested, sure tell them about your path, try to teach them something, you may learn something from them as well. I believe your approach is perfect for just about every peasant (90% of people that is). However, do it because you don't want to deal with their negativity, not because you can't handle a little envy and jealousy. Literally f*ck what they think, they're not in your league brother.

    • @jdmaule
      @jdmaule 8 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      +DanyHeatley I agree with this completely. To add to this, I think people will be more likely to accept the new you if it seems like a natural transformation. If they know you are putting so much effort into changing yourself, they may think you are "trying to be someone you're not." In reality, everyone is changing all the time, so why not make an effort to change in positive ways?

    • @mrjakkiebah
      @mrjakkiebah 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      +Joe Maule Spot on, "48 Laws of Power" elaborates a great deal on this specific subject. I recommend for anyone wondering what you are exactly talking about; google for a summary and look into law 3,4,8,9 and mainly law 30 regarding this subject :)

  • @finurra3905
    @finurra3905 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    came here from another video from another creator (Heidi Priebe on YT) who basically cracked my code. I've been self sabotaging all of my adult life when there's high stakes in my life because my inner child was highly criticized in an effort to stamp out my self esteem. It worked but I still became a high achiever. Only to crash and burn a few times due to my own self sabotage. I need to find ways to deal with criticism now as an adult in a way that is healthy and find the tools to push through and not take it personal. That's my next goal. Thank you for giving us some tools we can work with!

  • @ssoradajet7912
    @ssoradajet7912 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is actually very relevant to my current situation. Lately, I have been seeking to improve myself and I have been changing a lot (in a positive way), but I anticipate negative comments from people. But honestly, why should I care about what they say? I am changing for the better, and that's what matters.

  • @shortycareface9678
    @shortycareface9678 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am studying Philosophy currently, and I am dealing with the same situations occasionally. I don't think most people are being passive-agressive, but rather curious, though. What's interesting is when people repeatedly ask me "what that line of studying is good for" or "what I field I'll work in" etc. when I have already answered them a dozens of times already. So thanks for adressing that.

  • @erosempai
    @erosempai 8 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I am so happy to find a youtuber who actualy guives diferente USEFUL content to their viewers, keep up the good work man you are amazing

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks so much - I really appreciate that!

    • @silassinning7621
      @silassinning7621 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      i think so too, man youtube is full of crap

  • @strykeplaysmcjohnpickhypix1205
    @strykeplaysmcjohnpickhypix1205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It’s not about ignoring, but rather about not letting it effect you

  • @ProductCreationFormula
    @ProductCreationFormula 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    When I get the point of "I could never do that" I see it as a compliment. and say "that's okay, that's why we're all different". I usually leave it at that.

  • @atable2505
    @atable2505 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “One other person is gonna make you feel like you’re not crazy and that can mean all the difference” wow

  • @sarasills3042
    @sarasills3042 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think this is going to change my life. Happy to have found you! I am in tears bc I’m so excited to start this with all of the downer people in my life. I’ve almost gone crazy bc of them! Thank you!

  • @austinwallace5993
    @austinwallace5993 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I absolutely love this. I been interested in Psychology, Philosophy, and sociology, for a long time. I always wondered why are we us? What makes us do the stuff we do? Breaking down unaware habbits is amazing and I'm loving it. Keep up the awesome content :)

    • @Prim3Pursuits
      @Prim3Pursuits 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Austin Wallace Yea I get what you mean, I studied accounting but those questions always come to my mind as well :)

  • @gardehusar24
    @gardehusar24 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have used the "I could never live like that" often. The thing is that I never thought that it was as a passive agressive statement, but I used it more as a "Wow, you have more balls/spine than me"

  • @benlozier3290
    @benlozier3290 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    "I could never" is also an expreasion of admiration depending on how it'a frames.

  • @Sahrene2083
    @Sahrene2083 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    You're helping a small youtuber right here. Crazy how a four year old video still helps people today. I really appreciate you posting this video 💞💕💞

  • @superiorseven4814
    @superiorseven4814 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    100k subs to 150k subs in 2 weeks! Well done! It seems more and more people are finding your unique channel.

  • @mz282
    @mz282 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks bro i was trying to shove my ideas down my friends throat in the sense and it caused arguments or i could tell they had no interest in the topics but as i realised i shouldnt try to 'recruit' them even though health science and medicine is the most interesting thing ever(for me) and relates to everything but it was giving me a negative feel from them as i gained more knowledge and understanding and talked about it more more and these are my best friends of 15years+ i will always be their mate and if i look at it objectively we dont have to most postive effect on each others lives if u know what i mean but maybe i need to take this journey by myself or find others on this path like u said but loneliness is rough forsure, very insightful video ty

  • @idar3703
    @idar3703 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I also do the philosphy store thing. It's the best thing to do when you're a really open person who likes to talk about topics that others find weird; just discussing like it's a totally 'normal' thing to talk about.

  • @Arachne-qw1vr
    @Arachne-qw1vr 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I receive such negative reactions about Living History and herbal remedies and feminism/equality and also my ideas on education reform. It is so easy to feel alone because my immediate family don't want to hear any of it. Though I have not found a friend to share my exact journey, I have found lots of groups surrounding my interests and I am reminded that this combination makes me unique.
    This channel explains everything so clearly and gives great examples so I can start trying the techniques myself! Thanks.

  • @susannec659
    @susannec659 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    you are head and shoulders above everyone else. in college most people are way too immature to even care about how the world works and what am I doing here.l it took me more than half a lifetime to understand what existentialism is

  • @alexdromero13
    @alexdromero13 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    pretty awesome advice there towards the end! It IS hard to chase self improvement alone. lol you start to go crazy when no-one else around you shares your ideals!

  • @amitvele
    @amitvele 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Agree and amplify is another powerful way of diverting off negative comments

  • @flyme2themoon720
    @flyme2themoon720 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yeah I'm on that sailing ship by myself..its really hard to sit back and see a friend struggling with something that can easily changed by changing your mind set.the few times I've tried to offer advice had a negative backlash.especially because they knew me before the changes were made..

  • @soulpark3128
    @soulpark3128 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    When I get "sugar coated insults" or "passive aggressive comments" (or others within that genre of negative comments) I either ignore them, take them literally or can't help but smile a little.
    I was at a concert and this girl came up behind me and tried starting a fight with me, I was too surprised at her attempts that I started laughing my but off. She became so upset and started a fight with this other girl and then was thrown out by security.

  • @15nate
    @15nate 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I loved this video. You made some excellent points that are relatable to my own life as well as some close friends of mine. Dealing with passive aggressive people sucks the life out of you. Sometimes it's not always easy to just ignore, I liked the chronological approach and real life experience you shared with us. You've earned a subscriber, keep making great content like this!

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Nate Smithson thanks for subscribing! Will definitely work on more :)

    • @chatgpt4135
      @chatgpt4135 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Charismaoncommand One more question , how to deal with narcissists in ur own family, many people will try to tell you leave ur family , and go far away, but that isn't always a very practical technique, like c'mon u have criticaly ill father in house, u have a daughter whose future is dependant on u but she is abusive towards u, suppose u love ur mother but she is over controlling, maybe u just find all partners till now were narcissistically overbearing , bad n manipulative, running away from them and breaking emotional ties isn't always only thing, cos if u leave them maybe u will find another ppl who may appear sharing same interests as u but as time passes they may take advantage of ur soft nature to bully u , wil u keep running away to find safe ppl for ur whole life like a prey??
      Are there no techniques to be a leader of ur own decisions by living withina narcissistic family, are there no techniques to preserve ur confidence and act clever by counteracting narcissism of pll??

  • @YokoshimaOfficial
    @YokoshimaOfficial 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    When people attack you me 'What are you going to do with this/that', I simply tell them that it's up to me what am I going to do.

  • @pandanation6202
    @pandanation6202 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I like to work out, and my flatmates used to sarcastically say "Of courseeee you've been to the gym" and other irritating comments, that made me feel like I was a freak, unusual or extreme for wanting to train x times a week, or wanting to train on the same day I returned from holiday etc.... I used to respond with "yeah of course, I do actually enjoy the gym so why wouldn't I go?"...
    I'm thinking now that they were probably just projecting their own lack of motivation onto me and framing it into a negative thing to make themselves feel better that they never did any exercise.

  • @jojotheoj
    @jojotheoj 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Another way to address “I could never do that” = “I respect that” and change the subject.

  • @telatomodosh7410
    @telatomodosh7410 8 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Oh my God your face is so intriguing. The way your mouth moves, your eyebrows. It's so coooool ohmahgawd

    • @Newbport849
      @Newbport849 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      What

    • @telatomodosh7410
      @telatomodosh7410 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lol

    • @akshatanon238
      @akshatanon238 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygay

    • @colmyethon5377
      @colmyethon5377 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ANARCHIST all right, we get it your gay.

    • @telatomodosh7410
      @telatomodosh7410 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Hey I'm gonna call out special facial features on stuff alright/

  • @zethany9485
    @zethany9485 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm in a strange situation where I have found my "journey buddy" but they're joined at the hip to a severely negative individual who is the mortal embodiment of every single negative comment example you gave. Hes also a colleague and a peer so I get to see him pretty much every single day... I'm trying to work through it because no amount of negativity is gonna deter me from this path I'm on unless I say so. It's just very difficult to gauge when the negativity is proving to be a toxic situation or just a momentary challenge.

  • @olivia-mariesmith5075
    @olivia-mariesmith5075 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Current philosophy major, been one for a few years and I always get questions on it especially by family- I love the answers you gave! Also just picked up amateur boxing and I love to just express how I love the craft to people, the you get to talk about something you care about and beat the haters! Thank you for your videos they're so awesome, your philosophies and self insights rock :)

  • @adamriekert1984
    @adamriekert1984 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tip #5 is probably one of the most important. I always view people who try to force their hobby, lifestyle, etc. down people's throats as douchebags (especially with lifters). Certain people want to live otherwise. Sometimes only after seeing the success do people want it too.

  • @AmySpitzfaden
    @AmySpitzfaden 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Needed this! I have a friend who is always saying things that I can't tell if they're jabs or not, and I've never been sure how to deal with it. "Ignore." Such a simple answer! xD

  • @WildChief1031
    @WildChief1031 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    This dudes oozes charisma just speaking into the camera. Note his pitch. Far from monotone. Lots of captivating hand motion. His facial expressions are dynamic. We could all learn a lot.

  • @antimczenko
    @antimczenko 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Okay, first question: you can ignore the reaction of people, but what if it hurts you inside?

    • @annarehbinder7540
      @annarehbinder7540 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      RepO MaN you recognize that it hurts and let yourself feel it without trying to suppress it and then let it go and be mindful( see mindfulness and vipassana ) When it gets bad is When you suppress the feelings and they just lurk in the back of your mind and stomach - have extensive experiance with this tip long walks,painting, a diary which you do for a limited amount of time or just write out all the hurt and burn it actually like the latter best because it really releases the feelings physically. ( just gave myself tips which id forgotten for a while - Thank you for bringing it up!)

  • @myboringopinion7965
    @myboringopinion7965 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I never knew "I could never" comments were negative. I've even used them myself not meaning anything negative by it. I try to use in the context of "you do you". There's stuff that I could never do but I don't mind if somebody else does.

  • @Pandaface111
    @Pandaface111 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I literally LOVE this guy. He’s so good, and so spot on. Amazing insight.

  • @barlonrando6270
    @barlonrando6270 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Another great technique is combat negativity with humour, especially self-deprecating humour.

  • @maturingmind964
    @maturingmind964 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I loved your channel before I ever knew u were a philosophy major. Now I like it 10x more. I actually was a philosophy major. I just switched to economics a yr ago. Due to a lot of family & friends saying the same damn things. I love economics as well I make legitimate market quality business plans of my unconventional ideas on Microsoft office as a personal hobby. In between trying to balance having fun with my friends who are uninterested in my nerd stuff, & my obsession with bettering myself as a human being. I originally wanted to get my PhD in Philosophy leaning into economics because I wanted to understand the same exact questions u just stated. I always felt like something was wrong with me because I was so concerned with those questions and nobody else seemed to care about it, or they already had answers satisfactory for them. So I’m happy watching this video seeing u had the same problem. I’m glad you seem to have found ur own. I’m working my way there, just wished I found ur channel sooner. Congratulations on the success.

  • @jaredshaw5023
    @jaredshaw5023 ปีที่แล้ว

    I couldn’t agree more. Recruiting makes you appear more needy.

  • @Ediot
    @Ediot 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think I might of loss my one of my very few friends because I started a business.To sum up the whole situation; I've been job hopping since the day I left school, I've been to a ton of interviews and just had the worse luck when it comes to work. I actually got in with my aunt who manages a cleaning company and even though everyone was looking down on me for being a cleaner I really enjoyed the freedom. I could break when I wanted, do what I wanted, when I wanted so long as everything was done AND there was a future for me there where I could maybe go into security which is what I really wanted. However this was a night shift job which was 4 hours there, 4 hours back and one day they changed the times so I couldn't get there and had to leave. This is just one example of my bad luck with jobs.So after awhile I thought "Well I'll just start my own business" and so I rented a hut on my local pier and it's great. I'm selling stuff that I love and meeting people who share the same interest. It's not the best store and I'm currently making no money on it but it can grow. the fact that I have so many regulars who come to the pier JUST FOR MY STORE is so amazing! I really think if I could get a real store in a real building I would do well. I'm still learning and I know I know nothing about what I'm doing, so naturally I talk about it. I know it's rude to go on and on so I try to keep it short if it dose come up. Anyway, my friend came down with his girlfriend to check the place out and it wasn't bad. the first day was slow so we go to catch up and the second day was booming so it wasn't boring. However I don't get this see this friend much. I actually don't live near any of my friends and he along with another are the only people who I would really call "Friends" and the other one had kinda put me off them a bit when they started bulling this poor girl and wouldn't listen to me when I told them what she was doing was wrong. So he was my only true friend left. However he started getting really offish with me whenever I talked about work, even just saying it in a passing way like "I'm not going to be working through the winter so I can hung out". he actually told me I shouldn't bring it up and has been super negative to me.I recently went on a trip to japan with him and his friend (someone I don't know) and he made it very clear he did not want me there. And his friend just followed his lead because like I said we didn't know each other. At first he wouldn't talk to me, as in if he was asking a question he would ask his friend and wouldn't reply if I was the one to answer. Then they would walk really fast to get away from me then slow down and walk normally so long as I was way far back behind them. It was strange to be treated like that and I brought it up countless times. We were on holiday, it made sense that we would at least try to get along but he just wouldn't. It's only now that I think about it but his behaviour changed rapidly once he came down to see me and my hut. I'm not even making any money so it's hard for me to call anyone jealous because he has so much more going on in his life. He has a good and regular income, he's living with his girlfriend (I've been single for years) he gets to see his friends everyday. Why would he be jealous? To end this all off, I have broken ties with him for now although I may have to see him later since we both go to anime and cosplay expos. But I have blocked him on everything so he can't contact me. Sorry for this rant but I want to see if anyone else has been through anything like this? Just for reference this is someone who I have gotten along with for years even though I rarely saw him, whenever we use to meet up we always had a great time but since I started my business he just seemed bummed out all the time, no jokes, no silly taking the piss out each other. He even hit me when we were in Japan and it was over nothing. Like a real punch to the arm where people had to stop and ask if I was okay, it wasn't a fight he hit me because he needed a document and he wanted to get it from me. He gave me this look like he knew what he had done but he wasn't sorry about it and just pretended like he was calm. It was REALLY weird! Sorry for complaining so much but I haven't been able to talk about this to anyone.

  • @wendymorris4610
    @wendymorris4610 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Most times even a glance can be reinforcement for a person so don't even give them a glance just completely ignore the person all together.

  • @RahulSiyanwal
    @RahulSiyanwal 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I made this mistake a lot of time, Recruiting people. And I have just realized that it was actually a bad idea. People are not always ready even though they are curious about how you are changing your life. They have different experiences, different perception and so they will at some point start doubting on your way of doing things.

  • @BDiTech
    @BDiTech 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi, agree on your points
    but some people don't understand and for them posting negative comments is fun.
    God bless them.

  • @themanunleashed
    @themanunleashed 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When people say to me, "I could never..." I just say," it takes discipline." And that's it.

    • @blckstrdust2703
      @blckstrdust2703 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      themanzl Exactly!! It’s like, yeah, Thanks for highlighting the fact that you’re lazy and unfocused. Now I know to keep my distance so it won’t rub off on me. I’ve made my decision to improve & I already know it’s not easy. I don’t need daily reminders from you. Lol

  • @SashleyStevens
    @SashleyStevens 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for creating this video. I'm graduating college at the end of the week and then I'll be dying my hair purple for the first time.
    My dad is rather aggressive and doesn't like it when I do what he doesn't prefer. Learning these tactics really helps me figure out how to work with him or have him back off

  • @nimblebimble
    @nimblebimble 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel like comments such as the "I could never..." typically isn't adversarial but complimentary or evidence of a willingness to engage in a conversation

  • @jky1771
    @jky1771 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have problems finding people with this extreme of intentions

  • @frankieverdugo1914
    @frankieverdugo1914 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I usually do the opposite and works out really well too. For example, if they were to ask me about opening up a Philosophy-Store... i would say something like..."hey, I've never thought of that, shooot.. I've never seen one before, so there is probably a huge under served market somewhere".... wait for their response... then depending on if they double down on their insult or back off i would say... (if they back-off) "oh, I thought you were serious... and thought you had just solved all my future problems" (or something like that). (if they double down) "Shooot, but now that you gave me this life changing idea, your not going to make me give you a % of the store, right?"... "I mean, I would of course let you invest,... and of course let you be the first investor and all.. and that would be fair, right?... you do look like a fair person, right?" Anyways Charlie, maybe I'm also more of a Jerk (or so I've been told), you seem much nicer than me. (Sorry for the Logorrhea)

  • @bryand6051
    @bryand6051 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    If you were me, then I'd be you. And I'd use your body to get to the top. You can't stop me no matter who you are!

  • @maloriemoore4088
    @maloriemoore4088 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Words cannot explain how much I love this channel.

  • @nura.divergent
    @nura.divergent 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    The FIRST SENTENCE of this video is sooooo real to me. This year I decided to redux myself into a more positive person and its like my eyes have opened to all the hate around me because of it. That really struck a cord. Glad I subscribed.

  • @scorpion6491
    @scorpion6491 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Man if we meet some day we will be best friends

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +scorpion6491 No doubt, dude!

    • @solongsucka
      @solongsucka 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Charisma on Command Thanks. This is depressing me. People hating because I want to do what I love.

  • @drumjod
    @drumjod 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    @Charisma on Command,
    If someone gives me crap about going to the gym I like to respond with another joke, sometimes targeting myself if I can think of something funny or clever. For some generic examples: "yeah I know, I'm already too ripped as it is", "you don't get a belly like this by accident", or "do you even lift bruh?" if the person would get that reference. The thought of ignoring the statement seems really awkward and unnatural to me. When people tease me for being a nerd, I'll talk about one of the stereotypes I fit into because it's fun to step back and laugh at myself every once in a while. Being a nerd used to be a touchy subject for me, but I've found more charisma by building rapport with peers while turning a negative into a positive and genuinely enjoying it.
    Diverting eye contact and changing the subject is essentially telling the other person that you're sensitive about that subject and are not comfortable with it. I prefer the comedic route because it keeps things fresh and entertaining for me, but some might prefer a more serious approach like yours I suppose. I remember one comedian saying that every time he had to make a choice, he'd choose the one that makes for a better story.
    With the "are you going to open a philosophy store?" example, I totally agree that it's a passive aggressive and inconsiderate question. However, I think that you're passing up on a good opportunity to show your sense of humor if you ignore it. Off the top of your head, I'll bet you could invent a few philosophy store jokes and one liners, am I right?
    Those jokes are often good segues into a short explanation about why I like philosophy or why I go to the gym, just like you explained in this great video btw. The comedy route offers a nice transition through the conversation while dodging some needless negativity. Also, I've found that people tend to open up a bit more if I'm willing to put myself on the line.
    Much of this might be a personal preference, but I am curious about your thoughts on it.

  • @magpiewhisperer9055
    @magpiewhisperer9055 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are an incredible and very inspiring human being, you set an example for a confident and successful person that is concerned for the society. Great example, thank you a lot for this

  • @emilywilson7602
    @emilywilson7602 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I might even say “yeah man, I mean it’s not for everybody.” That one I think sounds less defensive.

  • @RUdigitized
    @RUdigitized 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Analasys of The Dovakin from Skyrim

  • @albertvelikonja7096
    @albertvelikonja7096 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    What I love about these videos is that they will ALWAYS be relevant

  • @NYpolerina
    @NYpolerina 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    So so so impressed with your delivery.... didn’t notice any edits - you are SO deliberate, clear, insightful, and passionate. So happy you make so much content.

  • @tugcesenagurkan
    @tugcesenagurkan 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You've just talked like you were watching my life. Thank you for making me feel "not that alone" and Thank you for all the advices, you are very good at this:)

  • @ThugByChoice
    @ThugByChoice 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Wow

  • @WiktoriaSta
    @WiktoriaSta 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I got into the self-improvement so much recently ! It does magic to your life !!! Since I started incorporating it into my life I feel like I am on drugs all the time ;O Can't thank you enough and also the books I have read !

  • @rickswizzle4824
    @rickswizzle4824 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    It's cool that you mentioned the 4 hour work week book. I listened to the audiobook a couple years ago and it really inspired me to shoot for my goals. And I love what you are doing on this channel

  • @tonje.kvivik
    @tonje.kvivik 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just after watching this, I got a very negative comment! Felt so good not to care! Thanks for the helpful tips!

  • @MARKLEO-cc8vv
    @MARKLEO-cc8vv 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So when someone is being negative and trying to bring me down it means they need my help

  • @AP-qr8en
    @AP-qr8en 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    I really want to be a philosophy major but I dropped it after hearing the usual negative rhetoric... this made me reconsider. Luckily I still have time to get back on it. Thank you

  • @Zehsnuts
    @Zehsnuts 8 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Wow, you lived in Brasil? Então você fala português? =D

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      +Hotfix Falo! Mais faz tempo que não pratico

    • @Zehsnuts
      @Zehsnuts 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Que legal! Pelo jeito seu português ainda é muito bom. Se quiser praticar estou a disposição. We can do both English and Português. Abraços

    • @die4europa280
      @die4europa280 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Charisma on Command You're a Brazillian but not brown ? How does that work ?

    • @rafaelsiano
      @rafaelsiano 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Charisma on Command I also volunteer! Feliz de saber, mto bom o seu canal.

    • @crisnacalifornia
      @crisnacalifornia 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Charisma on Command Really??! I'm Brazilian...I was giving you video advice last week...now you get why? we just do that, right, a tad little bit intrusive but it does help in the right instances. :d

  • @Happyhellybell
    @Happyhellybell 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow.. i just read your comments and you get so many negative ones! Thats so incredibly sad. I suppose everyone has their own demons. :( I really appreciated finding your vids today. Huge ups to you. Thank you x

  • @DemonWaffle5
    @DemonWaffle5 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Keep up the videos man, these tips really help me and i'm sure many others grow as people, it's amazing what little parts of our psychology are overlooked that you pick up on :)

  • @channel1channel139
    @channel1channel139 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you man!! Especially for the kind words at the end! :)

  • @jojotheoj
    @jojotheoj 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Philosophy majors are the best! I have a great career in IT. Thanks, symbolic logic and linguistic ambiguity lessons. *high five*

  • @barbaral2313
    @barbaral2313 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are a beautiful soul, keep it up, keep giving, keep loving the lost, way to go, sweetie! God Bless YOU!!!!!

  • @Mary-qz7lo
    @Mary-qz7lo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I stuided translation and I always receive negative comments like "so you spend time using google translator?" but I just ignore them cause their comments show me how ignorant they are about it.

  • @antoinedemm7533
    @antoinedemm7533 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great tips! I hear those negative comments all of the time, I just brush them off with humor or sarcasm and move on to other topics since the laughter creates a nice break for a change of topic.

  • @The_Mad_Arab
    @The_Mad_Arab 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    just found and started watching all your videos and I really dig what you guys have going on

  • @MikePhoenix007
    @MikePhoenix007 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. It was so helpful, I can't even begin to tell you. I love you man! Thanks for this.
    And also, this the best channel on TH-cam. It does wonders.

  • @ParkBongSig
    @ParkBongSig 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are absolutely right.

  • @jg8147
    @jg8147 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is such an important topic that is not often talked about!! Thank you

  • @kennyx8482
    @kennyx8482 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think the hardest thing is to decide whether a comment is actually intended in a negative insulting way...or in a playful tongue in cheek way (which perhaps requires an equally witty reply....that shows a healthy mind). Every situation is different , so how u react to it will also be different. eg. if a guy puts me down badly while at a gym locker room, my reaction wud be different if he put me down in front of a bunch of hot girls within earshot, lol. so u cant take things outta context...ur reaction will depend on:
    1. YOur relationship with the person and past experiences with them
    2. Tone of their voice and body language
    3. The surroundings, environment
    4. your current state of mind
    5. your attentiveness to them...your mind might be preoccupied thinking something else, daydreaming...and what they say just goes in one ear and comes out the other...
    and perhaps many more things i cant recall off the top of my head right now....but if you are being yourself and react with your instinct, it will take into account ALL of these factors and make you feel a certain way overall..and help you give the most appropriate, unique, taylor made, and "real" response from you for that comment, in that situation.......
    nevertheless, interesting video

  • @megmacleod8955
    @megmacleod8955 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wonderful positive outlook with this and all your videos. Thank you!!

  • @mattbown
    @mattbown 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    just found your channel! enjoying what you're sharing, and what its influencing me to think.

  • @AmazingRebel23
    @AmazingRebel23 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can relate to this... As a trans dude I'm trying to be more body-positive, and I while I was hanging out with my cis friends I said that I was happy I'm more buff than I used to be. They all started laughing and saying I wasn't muscular at all... Guess who's not getting Kraft dinner next time!

  • @nurinlife
    @nurinlife 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your comebacks to their statements are so funny!

  • @MistyHaven
    @MistyHaven 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this is one of the most helpful videos I have ever seen, thank you so much for putting out this content

  • @Idk11011
    @Idk11011 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    This channel is my holy grail!

  • @HipHopWorldStar
    @HipHopWorldStar 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Holy crap! I've been doing #2 my whole life and I never imagined that it was a charisma trick! LMFAO

  • @pk03399
    @pk03399 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks man, your videos helped me stepping up my game this year. Stay healthy and have a great new Year!

  • @Vanddark
    @Vanddark 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    Saudações dos brasileiros! =)
    We brazillians got a special way to respond to negative coments like that, it's not that is a brazillian excluve thing, but I don't see other cultures doing it frequently: If people make a negative comment like "what you gonna do? open a philosophy store?" you agree with them (it'll work better if you make a funny comment like "hey, how did you know?"), smile and become part of the joke for a second, they will smile too, this may show them you didn't get offended easely and that you are a fun person, than stop smilling and continue your conversation. If you see what I did there, I took the hit on purpose, turn it around and throw away, I became vulnerable on purpose, but I avoided an akward situation for both me and the person.
    This happens so often here in Brazil, ppl use it every time between friends when they try to mock you like someone say "what are you gay?" and you say something in a gay voice like "what are you homophobic?", by pretending to be gay, ppl will know you are not and you make fun of it, you have shown to be a fun person.
    This may not work if the person pre-dont like you, he may not smile and take your moment of vulnerability as an opportunity. In this case it's not a discussion, it's a fight but uses the same principle, you take the hit on purpose turn ir arount and throw it back to the person like "yeah maybe I open a psicology clinic to give your mom some free consults" this one is well known in every culture, in this case you dont get vulnerable and taunts the person to do the same, if he cant respont than you win.
    I'm searching but I didn't find a video of yours that explain those behavios, this is not a new thing but I would like to know more about it. By the way, recruiting is soooooooooo tempting hahaha.
    Peace! Enjoyed and subscribed to your channel.

  • @prabhatlamichhane8505
    @prabhatlamichhane8505 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    you are one of the very few youtuber who got my genuine respect !!
    keep doing what you do!!

  • @irenak.8544
    @irenak.8544 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi! My name is Elena, I'm from Russia. Thank you very much for your channel!
    When I found your channel, I thought: how you make this professional analys of behavior of celebrities and characters? After this video I understood: you studied philosophy, it helps you to have a good structure for your mind-system. I think, it is very-very cool! Not many people understand it.

  • @tergsy
    @tergsy 8 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are transcendental! I am so fortunate to have found your channel. Keep it up :)

    • @Charismaoncommand
      @Charismaoncommand  8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Tergel Kh thank you for your kind words. Will try my best! :)