Ted 2 | "You're Not a Person"

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 867

  • @samgspot
    @samgspot 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3337

    “Everything’s going to be okay!”
    “ *It really isn’t* “
    Lmao Ted and TL’s face

    • @qunt100
      @qunt100 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      You are not in good hands

    • @simondeane7003
      @simondeane7003 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Awesome, #. Shit happens! 😂😅love Ted

    • @aggyxl8170
      @aggyxl8170 ปีที่แล้ว

      That hit different 😂🤣

    • @Johnfromaustralia
      @Johnfromaustralia ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂😂

    • @magdavillafuerte
      @magdavillafuerte 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😅

  • @stevema2
    @stevema2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2423

    "I don't understand, we would have made such good parents!"
    *smokes a joint* 🤣🤣🤣

    • @liahtomlinson2105
      @liahtomlinson2105 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      😂😂

    • @mzanfhri8726
      @mzanfhri8726 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      😂😂😂😂

    • @danatedawg1018
      @danatedawg1018 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      To be fair marijuana usage isn’t bad. It’s around kids it can be

    • @Fel1xF7W
      @Fel1xF7W 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@danatedawg1018 yeah that joke is stupid, as long as you're a good parent the occasional weed is harmless

    • @moodyowlproductions4287
      @moodyowlproductions4287 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He's a fucking toy bear!!!!!!

  • @cupsonplushproductions5959
    @cupsonplushproductions5959 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1138

    "dear Ted you are no longer a Papa Gino's rewards member, fuck that's a big one" LMAO

    • @Anathema_009
      @Anathema_009 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I mean that is a big one to lose.

    • @Kadin73
      @Kadin73 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Anathema_009 what's Papa Gino's?

    • @Kadin73
      @Kadin73 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@Anathema_009 nevermind. Just looked it up. It's a pizza chain.

  • @picklebobpie5314
    @picklebobpie5314 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2109

    “You make history come alive”

  • @comicalcosmonaut959
    @comicalcosmonaut959 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +311

    I like how they treat the sequel more maturely in the sense that they tackle real life issues thrown at Ted like having kids or his identity. That realism makes him a lot more relatable and charming

    • @mainstreamerchannel9919
      @mainstreamerchannel9919 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Steven Universe could have had a story arc on some civil rights on their true identities and where they really came from. Especially for the titular character itself on why he can't have that when he turns 18 and 21.

  • @jmw9904
    @jmw9904 4 ปีที่แล้ว +896

    The irony of this is Allstate guy is the one saying it's not going to be alright.

    • @KategariYami
      @KategariYami 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      And now he's a God.
      So now a God is telling them it's not gonna be alright

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ​@@KategariYami Lucifer: wish I could say thanks dad, but I can't

  • @хип-хоп-канал
    @хип-хоп-канал 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2253

    This doctor is straight gangsta honest 😅

    • @timothyfarrand8407
      @timothyfarrand8407 3 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Isn't he the allstate guy?

    • @omidhussaini7504
      @omidhussaini7504 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@timothyfarrand8407 yes he is

    • @rayunited2010foryou
      @rayunited2010foryou 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      He's Ex-President Palmer, you see.

    • @FrankMontes24
      @FrankMontes24 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      He also stopped two marine snipers from killing an Iraq officer during the gulf war in favor of calling an air strike to kill everyone around the officer.

    • @ThePriceisRightB
      @ThePriceisRightB 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@FrankMontes24 was that another movie...or his real life?

  • @DialgaMarine3
    @DialgaMarine3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3940

    When I saw this, I threw up and almost quit medicine.

    • @Leyla7292
      @Leyla7292 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      DialgaMarine3. That comment of the Dr in the movie = 😅

    • @purifiedwater4217
      @purifiedwater4217 3 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      “Tammy its gonna be Okay”.
      “It really isn’t? XD

    • @bigchubz4995
      @bigchubz4995 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I honestly thought he said "Quick medicine" 😂

    • @anthonylong9067
      @anthonylong9067 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      “I almost quit medicine and did commercials for Allstate insurance”

    • @postingmemesuntiligetasilv3598
      @postingmemesuntiligetasilv3598 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You forgot the " "

  • @officialziahh9867
    @officialziahh9867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +769

    "we don't know any lawyers , all our friends make sandwiches" ☠️

    • @cookiebetts6341
      @cookiebetts6341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      “Sheezus, look at that black 🐓”

    • @officialziahh9867
      @officialziahh9867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      👁️👄👁️

    • @Reaction87483
      @Reaction87483 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cookiebetts6341 I prefer di OK never mind

    • @colmdurkin7915
      @colmdurkin7915 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yea ' i agree ' so fucking funny 😅

    • @RTWLR
      @RTWLR 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Just like everybody else older than 12

  • @spookkss6840
    @spookkss6840 4 ปีที่แล้ว +510

    "yeah.. yeah... and also a million kids who did nothing" had me

  • @stark_man0278
    @stark_man0278 4 ปีที่แล้ว +922

    "I'll tell ya what, I'm gonna go drive around the block and I'll be back with 200 dollars"
    Bruh. I'm dying 🤣

    • @DgardsGaming
      @DgardsGaming 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      I wish I could do that for real, if it was that easy 😂

    • @SilvirDragon
      @SilvirDragon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@DgardsGaming i would be drifting and doin donuts

    • @dragapultgaming6030
      @dragapultgaming6030 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Dont worry ill land on chance get visit jail Then Go to free parking and Get 2,000 dollars lol

    • @jaydragonplays
      @jaydragonplays 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "Are you guys just saying monopoly stuff?"

    • @C_Williams84_Vlogs
      @C_Williams84_Vlogs 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dragapultgaming6030 I’ll Be waiting At Marvin Gardens for My 1000

  • @daisho509
    @daisho509 2 ปีที่แล้ว +498

    "I'm gonna get a migraine in the parking lot in about 20 minutes" Seth will forever be funny to me 😂

    • @mattgerrish908
      @mattgerrish908 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What the hell does that even mean? Is Ted mistaking the word migraine and boner?

    • @patrik6636
      @patrik6636 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@mattgerrish908 She has medicinal of weed because of migraines whilst they smoke it for fun, the joke is , as he smokes it for fun, he will smoke in his car in 20 mins, saying he will have a migraine.

    • @mattgerrish908
      @mattgerrish908 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@patrik6636 Oh ok

    • @milascave2
      @milascave2 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@patrik6636 I thought it was his way of bumming weed off of her, because he claims to have the same condition as her, and it's coming on soon, so he needs some to ward it off.

  • @sonam6873
    @sonam6873 3 ปีที่แล้ว +426

    “I don’t understand we would’ve made such good parents” and then proceeds to puff a smoke from a joint.
    Classic ted.

    • @tonoblanco1931
      @tonoblanco1931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      well how's that being a bad parent?

    • @cb-9938
      @cb-9938 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@tonoblanco1931 it's the devil's lettuce, you go straight to the bottom level of hell if you smoke weed (this is a joke)

    • @limericky8548
      @limericky8548 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tonoblanco1931 how are burnout parents bad? Ask me how I know you came from a broken home lol

    • @danatedawg1018
      @danatedawg1018 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@limericky8548 doesn’t seem to affect anyone badly unless over usage

    • @mysteriousinformer3198
      @mysteriousinformer3198 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      usually kids are the reason joints appear

  • @johnmcauliffe8824
    @johnmcauliffe8824 2 ปีที่แล้ว +206

    When the doctor breaks the bad news to Tammy, Ted is the one to bring her out of the room. When the social worker breaks the bad news to Ted, Tammy is the one to bring him out of the room. Those two are really meant for each other.

    • @ivantheterrible2594
      @ivantheterrible2594 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      At least the social worker gave them the heads-up about what they were in for just as they were about to leave.

  • @eco-mark1469
    @eco-mark1469 4 ปีที่แล้ว +667

    "you ever watched any movie, ever?".."he is the black guy"

    • @yt-sh
      @yt-sh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      th-cam.com/video/OdxMkQhq58g/w-d-xo.html

    • @devongrander6733
      @devongrander6733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Ted? Yes!

    • @devongrander6733
      @devongrander6733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Or Mexican like Bender.

  • @Redvines69
    @Redvines69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +518

    So basically, trying to have kids ruined his life. It fits.

    • @TieflingKumasi
      @TieflingKumasi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Doesn’t that usually happen after?

    • @MarquesLKing
      @MarquesLKing 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeh yknw, sleepless nights, teenage years, ungrateful little s*** moments when they forget ya bday.

    • @camrae4309
      @camrae4309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MarquesLKing So…it doesn’t get easier?😰

    • @MarquesLKing
      @MarquesLKing 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@camrae4309 No ma'am it does not. Least till their mid/late teens when they must be gently booted up the backside to find a casual job and to no one's surprise start goin' steady with their study buddy. Then you have the angst years...

  • @rafa1857
    @rafa1857 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    It was so freaking hilarious when Ted told TL "it's ok honey, everything is gonna be ok" and they looked at the Doctor's face, expecting some hope's words from him, but instead he said "it really isn't".

    • @juliancortina6638
      @juliancortina6638 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well I mean the doctor can’t just lie to the patient, I get it that people expect for there to be some hope but sometimes you just gotta tell the truth

    • @DeletedDevilDeletedAngel
      @DeletedDevilDeletedAngel 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@juliancortina6638 a lil hope cant hurt like "I hope you could get through this" or something

    • @ivantheterrible2594
      @ivantheterrible2594 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well just imagine if they talked to Doc Martin, he probably would've called them idiots and thrown them out

  • @panborlangmarbaniang6431
    @panborlangmarbaniang6431 2 ปีที่แล้ว +137

    "Are you guys just saying Monopoly stuff???"
    Still gets me🤣

    • @farcicalgaminghd2169
      @farcicalgaminghd2169 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Tell ya what, I’m gonna drive around the block and I’ll be back with 200 dollars

    • @lpr5269
      @lpr5269 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The funniest was when Ted said "I'm going to go drive around the block and come back with $200."

    • @deadx0815
      @deadx0815 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I want to know if I’m not the only one that does this. When I play monopoly when anyone lands on free parking we collect all the money on the board

  • @infinightsky
    @infinightsky 3 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    I love how Seth puts Star Trek actors/characters in his productions

    • @OneofInfinity.
      @OneofInfinity. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      And keeps that tradition on the Orville (the only good Trek atm).

    • @infinightsky
      @infinightsky 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@OneofInfinity. facts!

    • @seanchukwuezi3079
      @seanchukwuezi3079 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Amanda seyfried was in a million ways to die in the west and ted 2

    • @jacobmassey3897
      @jacobmassey3897 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@seanchukwuezi3079 because Mila Kunis got better job offers 😆

    • @cadendimo8317
      @cadendimo8317 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What’s Star Trek?

  • @ocularzombie6679
    @ocularzombie6679 4 ปีที่แล้ว +448

    Ted is just a comedy, but Ted 2 is emotionally deep as fuck.

    • @nathanbarker9165
      @nathanbarker9165 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Yea I felt bad for Ted

    • @David-lo1fo
      @David-lo1fo ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Adoption and personhood ,
      Two deep subjects we all
      Don't think about until it's
      A issue.

    • @Suchwerewolf
      @Suchwerewolf ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Yeah I don’t get why some people don’t like Ted 2
      I thought it was great

    • @ranelgallardo7031
      @ranelgallardo7031 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Suchwerewolf In retrospect a lot of people think its too "woke"

    • @captaincabbage6245
      @captaincabbage6245 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@ranelgallardo7031 That's because "Woke" is a term used by assholes to denigrate empathy.

  • @abhishekm3752
    @abhishekm3752 3 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    Not giving candy for free. That a real Lawyer there.

  • @nickdanaher8593
    @nickdanaher8593 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    “WOW you make history come alive “ funniest thing I’ve heard all day

  • @JazzyPantsINC
    @JazzyPantsINC 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    I like how Ted is wearing glasses like he’s a papa bear

  • @SaifSKH
    @SaifSKH 4 ปีที่แล้ว +422

    “What like garbage or a piece of shit?” 🤣

  • @Narmerlover
    @Narmerlover 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2252

    "Adoption is great, right?"
    "Yeah, i mean, STEVE JOBS was adopted!"
    "Yeah, Also a million other kids who did nothing."
    That line killed me

    • @jaydabazil1801
      @jaydabazil1801 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So!soa

    • @PrinceRebel2000
      @PrinceRebel2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      i'm willing to bet you have no idea what that joke meant

    • @Boredoutofmywits
      @Boredoutofmywits 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@PrinceRebel2000, enlighten us.

    • @Khulu6061
      @Khulu6061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@PrinceRebel2000 please!

    • @mondo8003
      @mondo8003 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      6:06 🙄😒 MacFarlane mind😔 think of about.

  • @diemausdietastatur8738
    @diemausdietastatur8738 3 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    so if he is not a person. He isnt accountable for crimes he commit, right?
    Federeal Reserve Bank, lets do it

    • @MarquesLKing
      @MarquesLKing 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Wooh buddy Iam so in. I'll bring the booze n slim jims

    • @finlandguy427
      @finlandguy427 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That makes Ted a lucky criminal.

    • @joshuagawidan482
      @joshuagawidan482 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But they will stop him, worse case scenario maybe shoot him to smithereens.

    • @ACS2
      @ACS2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      If he's property john (I believe) will be the one held accountable

  • @deirdre108
    @deirdre108 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    "I just don't want my lawyer singing 'Frozen' songs during the opening argument". The writing !

  • @dallasyap3064
    @dallasyap3064 4 ปีที่แล้ว +326

    When they discuss about adopting a baby and having a dog. A part of me was thinking if they are gonna have a dog, especially a German Shepherd, that dog is probably going to bite Ted into pieces 😂 bcoz the dog doesn't recognized him as a person.

    • @DgardsGaming
      @DgardsGaming 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Well you’re not wrong

    • @skybot7091
      @skybot7091 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I mean in the beginning yes, but after a while the dog would see the small fluffy moving thing as a living thing and stop commiting intense mauling within a few years

    • @zachall101
      @zachall101 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Either that or hump him lol 😆 some dogs just love to hump stuffed animals ha ha

    • @jacobmassey3897
      @jacobmassey3897 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@skybot7091 but he'll already be in bits all over the living room floor by then 🤣🐻

    • @karlfranz9373
      @karlfranz9373 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He actually rode a german shepherd in the first movie.

  • @alula2439
    @alula2439 3 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    8:03 i just don't want my lawyer singing frozen songs during an opening arguments😂😂

  • @nickclark18
    @nickclark18 3 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    "we don't know any lawyers , all our friends make sandwiches" ☠lmao

  • @storyteller0633
    @storyteller0633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    The whole "Sam L. Jackson" bit got me *HARD* 🤣

    • @Suchwerewolf
      @Suchwerewolf ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Phrasing

    • @Cuythulu
      @Cuythulu 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That's what she said!

    • @storyteller0633
      @storyteller0633 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ...bruh....

  • @AM-vy2pp
    @AM-vy2pp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    "I'm gonna get a huge migraine in the parking lot in about 20 minuets" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @SJMJ91
    @SJMJ91 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Ted is literally both as much and as less as a person as Stuart Little. 🤣

    • @mainstreamerchannel9919
      @mainstreamerchannel9919 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      What about Steven Universe? He's not a citizen of any kind from where he's raised in. He's below the radar because he has no birth certificate, social security, and never went to school unless he was properly educated from being homed schooled. As for the parents of their son: The father has spent much of his young adulthood being a bum musician and the mother is an alien race of some kind that gave up her life form for the baby as some kind of reverse abortion. They weren't even married or being official by the state as well.

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      under the radar* There! FTFY, ​"@@mainstreamerchannel9919"

    • @thedukeofchutney468
      @thedukeofchutney468 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It depends on if you’re talking about the book or the movie. In the book Stuart is literally a human who was born looking like a mouse. While he’s an animal in the movies, animals at least have rights, things don’t.

    • @maazkalim
      @maazkalim 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's the dilemma repeatedly addressed in scifi involving robotics, "@@thedukeofchutney468" - and it is actually a challenge to the dogma over whom we can justify dominion over by mere classification.

    • @liger5953
      @liger5953 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Same with Garfield

  • @himanshukumarmaurya7326
    @himanshukumarmaurya7326 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    "We don't know any lawyer , all of our friends makes sandwiches"

  • @jrc01718
    @jrc01718 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I like how Ted and Tammy Lynn's marriage somehow didn't raise any red flags initially, though lol.

  • @Overninethousand14
    @Overninethousand14 4 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    When he turned into property and then his mortal enemy stole him and he said that he’s not kidnapping because he’s not a person that means that he’s stealing did anybody get that because that was crazy and he’s stupid

    • @devongrander6733
      @devongrander6733 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He's right. According to 1500's. He's property. No matter if he can walk, talk and smart enough to do the things you do. Dark humor. It's funny but it ain't funny.

    • @rayunited2010foryou
      @rayunited2010foryou 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      In the eyes of the law, he bought Ted for $40 from the seller, that's what everyone saw.

  • @colapepsiman2366
    @colapepsiman2366 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    John: Um, are those hard candies like just to take?
    Karl Jackson: Uh, those aren’t supposed to be out. 😂

    • @godisgood1359
      @godisgood1359 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@ivantheterrible2594Tootsie rolls 😂

  • @almythical1096
    @almythical1096 3 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    The lawyer was such a nice dude recommending his niece for free. And then dem hard candies lol

  • @BlueBrixProductions
    @BlueBrixProductions 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    If I had a teddy bear dad I would hug him everyday.

    • @joshuaford2831
      @joshuaford2831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That is adorable, never change! 🥺

  • @rajithasan9319
    @rajithasan9319 3 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    "I don't understand, we would've made such great parents.."
    *smokes pot

    • @amandaeklund8136
      @amandaeklund8136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That makes them pretty bad parents because drugs are very dangerous:-( 😝😨

    • @stephenking5852
      @stephenking5852 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What I like about this movie is that Tammy Lyn’s role is bigger than the first.

  • @dakotastein9499
    @dakotastein9499 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    imagine keeping the same job for 3 years despite intentionally bombing an interview and breaking the rules several times and bragging to your boss about it only to be fired due to a technicality

  • @gilbertobm
    @gilbertobm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Ted 2 is somehow deeper than I thought.

  • @SuperDuperNick
    @SuperDuperNick 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    3:33 Lmao I love Joy (if I read her name tag correctly) I wish we saw more of her in this movie

  • @bilalaft17
    @bilalaft17 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Ted : “ Everything is going to be ok , everything is going to be ok”
    Her wife : *feels relieved and ok *
    Meanwhile the doctor : It isn’t

  • @emanuelmartinez7496
    @emanuelmartinez7496 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    4:46 Yeah you would’ve been great parent, Your’re a teddy bear who smokes weed and works at a mini mart

    • @emmonybrown582
      @emmonybrown582 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      except the teddy bear part he sound human to me, a teddy bear can’t get high or drunk 😂😂

    • @BasedLamb
      @BasedLamb หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@emmonybrown582 How do u know

  • @SBPepperminion
    @SBPepperminion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    6:45 When they said the Monopoly analogy, it made me laugh.

  • @Kayakingoff
    @Kayakingoff 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    - Steve Jobs was adopted
    - Yeah also a million kids who do nothing 😂

  • @razorguy13396
    @razorguy13396 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    "I Don't know, We would make such great parents"
    Smokes Pot in next frame.

  • @ThePartarar
    @ThePartarar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    “You my friend, are an oppressed minority”
    “Yea **exhales** no shit”

  • @joshstern5047
    @joshstern5047 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    “All of our friends make sandwiches”😭😭

  • @itzsonic27
    @itzsonic27 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    We would make good parents, puffs on a spliff😂

  • @robertolopez-montes1412
    @robertolopez-montes1412 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I must say that Allstate guy has really not changed since I was 6

  • @sorenauto2525
    @sorenauto2525 4 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    That’s the Allstate guy right lol

  • @Deathpony9000
    @Deathpony9000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    MAJOR KIRA!! As soon as I heard that voice!

  • @DefLeppardVanHalen
    @DefLeppardVanHalen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Major Kira gave Ted a heads-up on what's to come.

  • @alpha5664
    @alpha5664 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Fun fact German Shepherd's are known to be excellent with babies and they should've gotten a dog if the human baby thing didn't work out it's pretty much the same as raising a human baby if you think about it

  • @cjm-jr9xk
    @cjm-jr9xk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    I was dying at 6:02

    • @DgardsGaming
      @DgardsGaming 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      WTH was he looking at, he has a problem. 😂

  • @Gavsterkie
    @Gavsterkie ปีที่แล้ว +17

    5:17 gives me goosebumps everytime

  • @prodigy-1600
    @prodigy-1600 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    i wish a family guy was this funny...

  • @owenbentley9287
    @owenbentley9287 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Gun dog baby family is the most American thing I’ve heard in a while

  • @jacksonl.grimes8384
    @jacksonl.grimes8384 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Ted and Tami are the cutest couple ever!!!!.

  • @carlospena9713
    @carlospena9713 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    “We would’ve made such great parents” proceeds to hit joint

  • @reynardyonatan5521
    @reynardyonatan5521 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The transition is so family guy 😂

  • @moolissa379
    @moolissa379 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    06:06
    Everyone get your minds out of the gutter, it’s a picture of a dark rooster.

  • @johnnorth1961
    @johnnorth1961 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Ted and Ted2 are the funniest movies I've ever seen

    • @godisgood1359
      @godisgood1359 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And the series on Peacock is awesome!

  • @C_DOGG_805
    @C_DOGG_805 4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    That one guy sounds like he’s from State Farm

    • @SmokeyGames420
      @SmokeyGames420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      That doctor at the beginning? That's the guy from all state.

    • @walter7054
      @walter7054 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He is

    • @wisdomleader85
      @wisdomleader85 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      All state, buddy.

  • @kochumolpc3159
    @kochumolpc3159 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Well Ted gives me hope of getting a girlfriend..

    • @Kyle-sr6jm
      @Kyle-sr6jm 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well, he is hung like a bear.

  • @davebancos
    @davebancos 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    “Yeah we appreciate your time-”
    *Pulls out bong*
    “-But what we’re probably gonna do is take a seat and get to work.”

    • @godisgood1359
      @godisgood1359 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I died laughing 😂😂😂

  • @caseyw1286
    @caseyw1286 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Wait? Isn’t the doctor also the “Allstate” guy?

    • @fx520
      @fx520 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes he is

    • @G.F.Browning
      @G.F.Browning 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Totally

    • @ki5aok
      @ki5aok 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yep, and he played God on Lucifer.

    • @ryanrahebi9490
      @ryanrahebi9490 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This movie is in good hands lmao

    • @ki5aok
      @ki5aok 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ryanrahebi9490 And it may qualify for a safe driver discount. :-)

  • @SSKO2
    @SSKO2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    “You are property”
    And then he managed to get fired as soon as it’s heard he’s not a person

  • @carmanstevenson4186
    @carmanstevenson4186 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    A human and teddy bear love it ❤

  • @zSwagsterz
    @zSwagsterz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    They should make a movie about John Bennet growing up in highschool. Ted probably beat up his bullies, even the ones who laughed at him for bringing his teddy bear to the bar. That would be hilarious lol. They could flashback to those days while talking to Ted's kids. John could teach Ted's son how to bring his Teddy Bear to life. There should be a Chucky reference, but Ted's son turns out to be a real prankster. Oh, and they get the german shepherd puppy, and set the others free. The remaining plot could be about catching the puppies - and keeping all of them.

    • @KingDavo215
      @KingDavo215 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      im down for this then again im high as a kite sooooo i would believe any of this

    • @mysteriousinformer3198
      @mysteriousinformer3198 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You have read the sacred scriptures, were did you find them

    • @elainekerslake6865
      @elainekerslake6865 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      If it's TED related...I want it!

    • @zeronos2844
      @zeronos2844 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Well not a movie but a series.. thats something

    • @r41n36
      @r41n36 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ayoo, this bro just predicted the Ted series!

  • @emeraldblaziken
    @emeraldblaziken 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    I am proud to say that my dad is a teddy bear :D

    • @DgardsGaming
      @DgardsGaming 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So you’re half teddy bear, does that mean you’re half made of cotton. Not judging just asking 😂

    • @cianoleary8226
      @cianoleary8226 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@DgardsGaming you do realize that comment was a joke right? Lol

    • @nathanbarker9165
      @nathanbarker9165 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@cianoleary8226 I think his reply was a joke too

  • @DarkwearGT
    @DarkwearGT 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    imagine dating a teddy bear

  • @wallybazoum
    @wallybazoum 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    The sad thing is that there are actually 26 year olds who don't know who Samuel L Jackson is.
    I work with a few.

    • @TieflingKumasi
      @TieflingKumasi 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      At least she has a valid excuse

    • @MarquesLKing
      @MarquesLKing 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      F'real? Pulp Fiction, Star Wars, Marvel?
      Did their parents never put them in front of the TV to go make another, and the kid was like, hey a black guy aka Sam Jackson.

    • @isaiahgarza87
      @isaiahgarza87 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@MarquesLKing Don’t forget he was in Jurassic Park as well.

    • @splatoonistproductions5345
      @splatoonistproductions5345 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@isaiahgarza87 he was?? Which one?

  • @Weirdmster
    @Weirdmster 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    “Wow, you make history come alive.” 😂

  • @coolsal7577
    @coolsal7577 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    1:28 “And a gun to protect us all” 😂

  • @TrenchMan93
    @TrenchMan93 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    You know this wouldnt happen if she got allstate.

  • @mrcakashi5192
    @mrcakashi5192 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    i love it when doctor's when asked if it's possible and put the word's their reaction

  • @roystonlodge
    @roystonlodge 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She drives a Crown Vic?
    (a minute later)
    OMG, it’s Major Kira!

  • @NicheXCC
    @NicheXCC 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    If Ted is working, he must be automaticaly paying taxes.

  • @GHC3
    @GHC3 4 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    As much as 8 liked this movie, my question is why are they uploading this 5 years after the movie came out?

  • @qzy-179SanTzxkW
    @qzy-179SanTzxkW 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Have you ever seen any movie ever? He's the black guy" always cracks me up

  • @rasyid_titit_gede_racing_team
    @rasyid_titit_gede_racing_team 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    What I like about Ted is you can watch movie while imagine it is Family Guy life action.

    • @robertmoffit1135
      @robertmoffit1135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah Ted is basically peter griffin

    • @ryles9503
      @ryles9503 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@robertmoffit1135 because some movie does dark humour and comedy doesn't mean that but okay...

    • @ranelgallardo7031
      @ranelgallardo7031 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s made by the same guy

  • @drewlovelyhell4892
    @drewlovelyhell4892 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I laughed the whole way through this! HAHAHAHAH! 😂

  • @LuisAlvarez-mr5wm
    @LuisAlvarez-mr5wm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    4:26 Dear Ted, your Chase bank account has been terminated due to a lack of citizenship. Dear Ted, your Discover card has been revoked. Dear Ted, you’re no longer a Papa Gino’s rewards member. F**k, that’s a big one.

  • @339blackdiamond
    @339blackdiamond 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "No it's this new strain my dealer gave me called 'help me get home' "
    *20 seconds later*
    Mark: hey guys... i'm having some trouble heye... Panics*
    Can you help me get home??!"

  • @rasnac
    @rasnac 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When Major Kira Narys of Bajoran Militia says you are not a person, you better believe it.

  • @PatricksCrazyPlace
    @PatricksCrazyPlace 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The Allstate Guy and Kira Nerys throwing out bad news left and right.

  • @maureencora1
    @maureencora1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    We Need a Ted 3.

  • @absurdcheesecake
    @absurdcheesecake ปีที่แล้ว +2

    when the doctor says it's not going to be okay, you KNOW its bad.

  • @paranormalabilitynetwork1434
    @paranormalabilitynetwork1434 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    You cant have a baby but you could save with Allstate 😂!

  • @fortmcmurrayoilbaronsfan7
    @fortmcmurrayoilbaronsfan7 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    “We really appreciate your time, but I think what we’re probably gonna do….is just take a seat and get to work!”

  • @joeandcoffee
    @joeandcoffee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "You're technically NOT a person"

  • @aypeekay5669
    @aypeekay5669 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    “AND A GUN TO PROTECT US ALL”
    I was crying after this

    • @blazesavior
      @blazesavior ปีที่แล้ว

      Same and I was like that’s America😂

  • @therealhexx4115
    @therealhexx4115 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    4:25 why are they sending him mail if he's not a person 💀

    • @MccaulWilson-pr1bw
      @MccaulWilson-pr1bw 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I was wondering the same thing I don't know 🤔

  • @comsvs5708
    @comsvs5708 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Gun dog baby family best line ever

  • @Nightwing-bh2tn
    @Nightwing-bh2tn 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    3:50 Ted says he doesn't have a Drivers License here but in the new TV show Blair specifically asks him to be her designated driver.

  • @Annabelle66633
    @Annabelle66633 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "🙂👉🏻🍬Um are those hard candies like just too take?"
    "Those aren’t supposed too be out😐"😂

  • @warock567
    @warock567 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    he became a god now..