Journaling is helping me, along with much prayer and letting go! I say the serenity prayer every time I start to ruminate, or peace be still and know that I am God. It’s been helping the obssesive thoughts. They taught me that in a recovery group. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, thy will be done. Also, self care. I’m praying for all of us on this feed! We should get a group of us together to encourage each other on this journey to healing and thriving! We were victims, but I know I can’t stay there! I know my worth and I’m not going to allow him to rent space in my head anymore!
Thank you for your comment, I walked away from this type of person, I loved her after 5 years just months later she moved on to another guy and got married it’s been crippling for me , it’s been 3 years and am still struggling, I feel stuck and I’m in constant rumination, I pray at times but I easily give up , how can someone do this , I’ve given up on future relationships, so cold , pray for me please , I’m James , thank you ❤@@BrideOfYashua
There isn’t anything wrong with living in the present moment in fact that is healthier than living in past or future, however people are not disposable and that is how they act towards those who have their own toxic traits that attracts the narcissist in the first place.
@@Aurora-Rose01 It's not always a case of toxic traits that cause attraction. Some of the Law of Attraction isn't really applicable to Narcissistic people and why they enter your life, although it can apply sometimes, I'm sure. If we think along those lines it can easily cross over into victim blaming and this is a huge issue in "spiritual communities". There's different ways of being in the present moment. There's observing, being aware and centered which is a higher consciousness way of being in the present moment, and then there is a lower consciousness way which is largely instinctual like an animal.
Yes so true! Demonic ex husband moves on after 18 yrs married and cheating the entire time. Once I divorced him he stoped talking to me and we have a 16 yr old son but only texts our son but makes it difficult to coordinate when to pick up and drop off our son. I’m done with this person but we need to try to be cordial for our son at least until our he graduates highschool and thank goodness only one year left. So now I will go along and never text the ex narc again and if he wants to see our son he can come pick him up. I’m tired of accommodating the ex narc and doing all the back and forth driving. It’s ridiculous and immature and sadistic. He does not care if it impacts our son but I’m here only to make sure our son is ok. I’m so glad he’s an older teenager and God has got me. I’m good and the ex narc does not know it’s helped my healing by not being in contact with him. I’m glad he’s giving me the silent treatment post divorce. Moving on praise God!!!
@@LeeLyanKing 15 years and just like that, everything's gone all pictures/posts/gifts. divorced her she wanted to reconcil but was seeing another man during that-so hell no. i will start over without them now she has the rebound man whiteknighting for her. all the same game she played with me in the beginning. now i know what they are and will avoid them in the future! never go back to your exes
With my covert narcissistic ex for 5 years. I was manipulated by a narcissist with a PhD in clinical psychology. (Licensed clinical psychologist with a big practice). She was an expert at gaslighting. She was only interested in her own personal interests, material possessions and what I could give her. When she broke up it was brutal,unexpected and very hurtful. Never told me why, broke off all contact and easily moved on. I now know who she is. A selfish person with No responsibility, no emotion depth, no empathy. Now I realize that she never met me half way. Sad way to go through life…
A lot of narcissists focus on psychology sadly it’s a way for them to focus on others issues and not themselves and they almost use psychology as God. Very disturbing.
I went through a lot of that too. She didn't even give 5%. They are emotionally distant because they are empty and have no interest in a healthy relationship. Once they are gone, you slowly return to your old self and you see how awful they treated you. I consider it a gift that she finally left. I gave her the best 10 years of my life and there was no appreciation of anything I did.
@@Aurora-Rose01 very true. She was so focused on her patients that she never did any introspection. I could never have a deep conversation with her. She always deflected any attempt. I feel sorry for her as she is in denial and can’t see who she really is. Sad really and somewhat ironic considering her education and career.
Definitely, they lack empathy, they are not able to establish relationships at a deeper level, and they are revengeful, sadistic in the way they will punish you. I dealt with “friends”, family members, and partners like that, unfortunately. For an empathetic person, it’s something very difficult to accept and understand.
They want us to go down to their pathetic level.. Fortunately we are not like these ones...they don't like us because we have an authentic ❤...they never can! Always protect our real ❤🍀🕊
Best prototype of robotic programming. Difference is that their blood and flesh push them to feel human alike. They sensation of life joy is never fully experienced and because of that, they punish the normal people for their lack of compassion and love for themselves. Sad nature of the narcissistic mind but for own good we must stay away of them as of any other type of predators. No wonder they are craving for power in all levels of society to control everything around them to prove own existence.
I walked on the 10th January and she erased me from Facebook on the same day. New supply was embedded 14 days later!!….Its a total mind f£&@ how little they care for people
Typical narc behavior. My ex Narc is currently with “the new step dad”, in which she’ll probably marry within the next year or so. We broke up six months ago mind you. Already fast-tracking the new man of her life!!! 😂 Gotta secure new supply as quick as possible.
@@sadboi7537 The new man was probably already there and unaware of the relationship you guys had. My replacement, when I spoke to him for the first time a year or two after everything ended, told me that she'd told him that she was divorced. She wasn't. She was still quite married.
My sister I thought she was a narsisist but no she is with a narsisist so she gets inpacted by him. He is putting all his bullshit on her. My sister has my daughter right now Im meeting all with love cause Ive seen my sister is NOT like her husband! I actually feel bad for her cause she is trapped and I do love my sister. She is also protecting my daughter, my daughter told me. I think I will be living here in my hometown for a little while longer. But I do wanna move from here with time and be totally free from this! It has been so though.
I feel for you. I am inner standing all the chaos in my own family. Finally. Sister and mother deeply narcissistic. The mind games I can no longer play.
i still hope my sister is a bit not a narc. I pray to God. But now I think maybe there is no hope for her either. I will keep working on getting my daughter home to me. I pray to God every day that she is not ruining my daughter. She will pay for sure. She will pay big time if she has done anything to my little girl.
I was hoping so too; but after 2 years+ he is trying to contact me again! Ugh. Through fake SM accounts, and trying to call too. Ugh. Blocking seems to do no good. Yeah his relationship/marriage must have gone south. No surprise there.
This is one of the best videos on narc behavior, as it helps the target understand how the narc can go from love bombing to complete disinterest. Normal people don't do that. But covert narcissists do.
This is my life, 42 years married, she started calling me a covert narcissist, didn't even know what it was, I told her I thought we had a great relationship, she said she made it look good for 40 years I've been researching it now for 2 years, been separated 3 years, can't get my head straight, to much to tell. Thank you.
My narc-now-ex-wife called me a narcissist, too. It's called "projection" - when the narc says you are doing what they are doing, or you are what they are. Mysterious and vexing, right? Fortunately for me, getting called a narc was the key that unlocked the gateway of information about covert narcissim. Now, we know. I hope you have gone "no-contact" - blocking phone, text, email, social media. Or, at least "gray rock", if you have kids or a business together.
@annenew8220 Hoovering is when a narc shows back up in your life, attempting to suck you back into their toxic antics. They will call, text, send songs, leave messages, send pix, confess their feelings to your friends and family hoping it gets back to you. They will show up to YOUR gym, YOUR grocery store, and even YOUR job, "See, I've changed." They pretend to have changed only bc they have lost control of you and the situation, and they do this with hopes of you returning ONLY SO THEY CAN REJECT YOU...AGAIN!!!!! This is a power move narcs use when either you discard them OR they discard you BUT couldn't find an adequate replacement. No contact and become a ghost. Tell your friends you don't wanna hear anything from that person, etc.
@annenew8220 ....and act like you don't see them. Like they are a 👻, boo! Get your life, get healthy, and become somebody that they used to know. Hoovering never stop if they have a means to contact bc they try to catch you at the "right time" to rekindle the relationship.
What i felt was like i was with a predator which was just busy with only their needs.. when the mask was off a few seconds i saw an empty shell which only reflects you nothing more.. sad to be them, broken people
I finally had my lightbulb moment and escaped the narcissistic abuser after 27 years of marriage. Over a decade later he continues to take me to court, abuse me financially and alienate our adult children. I could only wish that he would let me go, move on in his life and get control of his unhealthy behavior. Thank you for explaining the specifics of this character disorder and providing such meaningful journal prompts and video posts.
I got a second... Dr, I have all your books. always with a sense of nostalgia; Dr? Anoushka introduced me to the community a few years ago. About that time, I got to hang-out with you guys; The Three Amigos. Podcast, years and years ago, hahah. I had a ton of fun and you lit up the Podcast, you were so vibrant! No lie, to this day, when I see you in the threads every now again, I know credibility still stands for something. No lie, Mad Respect. I am glad you posted.
I came across this kind of relationship as a young person, before the present day heightened awareness about narcissistic people, since that separation and them moving on, I am a lot more cautious and look for similar behaviors in the people that I meet. When I pick up on it I exit. That person, I still admire some of her qualities, there are fond memories, but I am wise to it now.
Thats Me after being a bf for 35 years to one!! I said No for the first time and...POOF...I no longer have a friend and I must be dead! But....I'm doing Very Well ...Living without her!!!!
I have been erased by some family members. Don't really care anymore. They aren't relevant. I was used by them. but not anymore. The only thing I am pissed off about is how stupid I feel and like an idiot to even trust these people.
Hey guys, just wanted to say this for anyone going through it. I was with a covert narcissist for 8 years. It’s been a year since I cut all ties and blocked her on everything. It was so hard at first. But accepting reality for who these people are was paramount. Now that I’ve had time away to connect to myself I’ve never been happier. I have the strangest since of freedom and peace that I had forgotten about over the years. These monsters will stalk you and reach out to you if they need supply and you seem vulnerable. Do not give in at all. Not for closure. Nothing. They will not change. You empower yourself when you remove them for good. No contact. It gets easier with time I promise. Hope you all find someone who treats you well! You got this!!
Mine would do things like steal from her employer. She was coming home with wads of cash. I kept insisting she tell me what she was involved in. She finally told me and I told her she was going to eventually get caught. She insisted what she was doing was undetectable. She was finally fired after a few months. Probably the worst thing she did that should have made me realize how broken she was, she drowned an entire litter of newborn baby puppies. I was like WTF. I asked her why??? Her response was we have too many dogs. The last straw was when she got covid. She INTENTIONALLY gave it to me. And she wouldn't even take off work. She was spreading it to her coworkers. I could not unsee her wickedness, she knew it, and she soon after filed a divorce. But the front she presents to world is a quiet angel. These people are sick 🤢
Quite literally, this exact same thing happened to me five years ago. I didn't know at the time what happened, and I didn't understand the nuances of all of it, and i didn't know about any of this terminology or what clinical narcissism was. All I knew was was I was in agony after having been so brutally thrown away like a bag of trash. What helped me was when I went to the house for the last time and had the opportunity to poke around as I was there alone. I'd found evidence of the replacement man, at least one trio to a hotel, and other disturbing things. At least then I knew that I wasn't crazy and it wasn't my fault. We were married for nearly 11 years and it's as if not a single day ever mattered to her at all. Absolutely insidious. I don't know how people like this live with themselves. They must be devoid of any real life.
I was 14 he as 16. What a not love story it was full of lies and deceit. 51 years of my life then he skipped out the door cause I got a hold of his playbook.. painful but im thankful im free now to laugh and make friends i can even speak to people amazing. His favourite name calling was calling everyone a Waster. Horrible word he had no hobbies and no friends after 51 years freedom now. No more manipulation life is good I think he knew he was the waster. Thankyou for a great video. x
It feels like that in the beginning but eventually they come back and they don’t stop coming back. I had two different ones come back at two different times 26 years later I got one that just came back after two years trying to get back in I don’t believe they forget about you.
I got her a new phone for Christmas and one day she asked me to help her backup all her stuff to her computer. I thought I was being helpful and here I was being used to erase myself from her life. Next level p.o.s.
Best course of action that I took…. Ok, find a new place to live, best of luck. And full steam ahead with my life, zero intentions of having another relationship after that “experience”. I leaned heavily into family and educated myself on what I experienced. The single most important thing you can do is prepare yourself with educating and expect a Hoover.
Consider it a gift he treats you like a stranger. I have one that has harassed me for 16 years after I did the break-up. Her Smear Campaign targeted my family, close friends, and one co-worker. She went to my work and tried to get me fired. There are other hateful things she did to get back at me. Malignant narcissists will make it their mission in life to destroy you.
@racebannon96 well he dumped me and quickly moved in with his new supply he had been cheating on me with. Even tho he put me up in a pedastol for 3 yrs and I was "the one" and talked marriage n all that. All the while he had her on the side for months and then boom I was dropped and now im non existent. Not heard from him in 6 months. Never got any reasoning or never got to say my peace. Nothing. He runs. Hides.
When the narcissist doesn't know you know that means you beat em in their own game but...because they are narcissists they will always assume you deserve everything they are planning to do or already did from the get go of the relationship because they don't give a flying fk about anyone but themselves. Sometimes we stick around more than we are supposed to and keep playing "the game" but that's useless if we stay there because we don't like it as much as they do and if you stick around basically you are out of character and you are acting as a narcissist too so in that case they too got a little victory because they made you play their game so get out asap.
My narc of 18 years just moved out with no explanation no closure didn't care who or what it affected. But im glad they are gone now and ready to move on in life. I dont even care for closure at this point. Im just upset i was so blind for so long I feel so used. When I stopped doing every thing for them,which I never got in return I was discarded
I was discarded to be ‘used’ later. Imagine that! The whole shelving dynamic that I refused to be part of. No parking in the harem garage for me. Funny that when he came to pick up where he left off then … i was gone. Believe he was a bit surprised. What a shame! One discard is all you need to get back on your feet, folks! They so ain’t worth it!
I did that to my ex narcissist. It’s called no contact. It was extremely difficult and I still think of her. I don’t care what she thinks about me. That’s not my problem. I wish she didn’t exist in my life, ever.
Don't worry, there is a retribution to all the things you have been through. You can heal and grow, but they will always be trapped in that selfish mentality. They will never be happy nor content, although they can fake being on top of the world. But they fear and panic at the idea of being alone, they need constant supply to fuel that alternate reality they leave in. Forget about them, they don't care about anyone at a true deep level. They are to be dealt with at best on a superficial level only. People around them will grow tired of their antics, you're free now, and they will chase money and partners and material stuff like its oxygen. You are better off without them. Go find healthy people, and learn to detect fake people and avoid making any deep connection with someone who doesn't even exist. They're abusers, and you can apply no contact as well if needed. But never take another narc in your personnal n private life, they'll ruin your life in so many ways.
They wish they could erase you but when you heal and get back on track they hate that because when you catch them or discorver who they really are they want you to rot and die ( those are the exact words of my last narcissist when I beat her in her own game) they hate that you know who they really are but in their world you can't live because no one else knows who they really are.
They were abused as children, accepted only if they performed, as a superior specimen. They had to be smart, beautiful, clever etc. They were taught everyone else was inferior and they had to perform, to become a successful adult. They were taught a set of values that would make them into a superior human - know extra languages, know how to code, be gorgeous, be rich... didn't matter. When they interact with someone, they assign a certain role to that person, based on these values or this plan of being superior. You're either below in every important aspect, so they don't look at you, treating you with contempt from the get go. Or you'll be kept as "junk food", the one that's the loser in every aspect. They can always have a "snack", by belittling you once in a while. (The bully at school, at the office etc.) Or they admire a certain aspect of you and want you in their lives. However, you have to be inferior in other aspects and they'll focus on those. "You're intelligent, but you are a loser when it comes to social interactions. You're lucky you have me as a friend! No one would even consider being a friend of yours. You're sooo awkward." or "My god, honey, you are gorgeous! You know this! But you know you're not really good when it comes to math, computers and things like that." They can only tolerate someone that will make them look good, but they cannot be superior either. If you stop adhering to their "plan", they'll discard you. If you become too successful, when you were considered to be a loser, or, the opposite, when you fail at certain things, in their eyes. You don't matter, the "plan" does, their set of values, accomplishing their goal of proving they're superior. This is how they were taught. They themselves were treated the same way, as children. Caring for others implies failing at their plan. They can't care, because they were never taught how to care. On the other hand, thinking of others, being giving, becoming in the service of you, implies failure. If they fail, they die. They felt like they were going to die when they were abused in this way, by their parents. So, when you want them to care for you, change your assigned role, you want to kill them, literally. If you want a long lasting romantic relationship, when they were taught to f*** everything that moves, to validate themselves, you are a murderer. When you want your parent to care for you, to admit what they did, again... you are a murderer. When you want to become more than "just friends", again... you're a murderer. How dare you? Know your place!
That is what really hurts me, was I nothing 💔 did he ever really loved or my children 💔 😢. It's not even who you left me for and abandoning our family! But to just putvher in my place and so fast
The situation is too layered to leave in a comment section...but I've been bogged down by not having family. I have 8 grandkids I will never see because my kids were so wowed by their dad when he finally showed up. Their Daddy Hunger was so intense by the time they were adults he was like a Super Star to them.
Even when they do favors, it’s transactional specially if they say oh I helped this person because they helped me instead of saying I would help them regardless if they help me, that’s that’s true kindness
Yes, he told me once I was gone he would never think of me and probably will not remember my name. I believe it, too. He thought getting attached to people was a waste of time. Very sociopathic. He thought relationships were stupid. He wanted sex, and he did not want to be called or bothered in between. He will call if he wants to see you. Never meany any human like this, hope I never do again. Sociopath and highly narcissistic. Started insulting everything about me the second time we got together.
She threw away literally 20 years worth of knowing/being intimate with each other when she decided to publicly trash me on her Instagram page. She crossed a line that she can never come back from. See ya later. ✌️
Sorry that happened but I’m confused? Why would she be trashing you on ig just because 😂 Your saying she threw 20 years away by trashing you but probably leaving out everything in between why would she randomly just trash you after 20 years if you didn’t do anything to her lmfao odd sounds like my Pathological cheating lying abusive ex mad that I’m trashing his ass online oh well that’s what happens
How can you do this to someone and feel good about yourself. They are despicable people. I just can't believe I was with him for so long. I ignored the red flags.
Yep. 3 years + ago i was dropped over night with no rhyme or reason. To this day i still have no freakin clue what happened, but i do know she was using me. Still hurts.
I was discarded after going on vacation with a friend. 4+ years of friendship and poof * gone. I moved back to the town where we met, saw him on the street once from my friends car, living his life as usual, unbothered. Hope to never run into him ever again. It’s such a confusing thing when someone can erase you over night after years of investment and one on one times together
I actually realised that once, she just flattered my ego at first, and made me feel something for her, but there wasn't much depth, intellectually, I actually thought she was quite dull. Wanted to tell her something I felt she would find interesting, but she just switched off, even walked away and ignored me, felt that was really strange.
This may have been my part of my mother’s purpose, for switching me into the scapegoat role. I think she became consumed with jealousy, as she aged. And, as it seemed a folie a deux, my sister has grabbed the baton, acting as if her life is a complete nightmare, because I exist.
I notice with apps like whats*pp, when the woman is mad at me , she would take down her profile pic, if she doesn’t get her way. And happens many time with different women, especially when they don’t get their way. Like that going to hurt my feelings. I guess they don’t like Dark Empaths🤭Love your content! ✌️
This is literally what happend to me after years marriage ( without no real reason)... No explanation no conversation no nothing. Literally " light off " What's the...f...? Not even meeting clousure explanation
No matter the investment you make with selfish people, they look at you as a novelty item, easily replaced. I have discovered that more than 90% of the people i KNOW, not just met, but KNOW, are narcissistic AF! Yeah, we ALL had a "Tough" upbringing, but c'mon Man! I have also found that treating others like children when they act as such, susses the Snake out of the woodpile. As a result, I have no friends. Bummer, but I have time for my narcissistic endeveaours now, so I guess in final analysis, we as a specie are evolving into narcissists, so don't hold back, it IS ALL ABOUT YOU!, I will be over here not giving a F!
Imagine this. Help her in any way possible..Helped her get her Visa to stay in country , cause she came to make better living as a whole.I didnt had job at the moment, no benefits from social system , spend all my savings on us and for her to be able to stay. Finnaly found myself a job which was not really good payed. I struggle to pay for all expenses for two years but still i gave her gifts from time to time , my time and my love. As soon as she found a job that was better payed as mine she broke up with me. Not a normal break up , after two years living together, she just moved out our apartment while i was working, sending me msg that she is breaking u with me. No talk after two years, it feels like i never materred in first place ..i feel used . I am healing thou
My narc mother and narc siblings did that to me. They stole my part of the inheritance I got from my dad and then said, I don’t belong to the family. And since then they act like if I had never existed.
My ex narc discarded me , but thought she could keep me on the back burner in order to use for me money purposes. Little did she know I cut loses and quit talking to her , period. So as far as erasing me , no. It’s a two way street where I come from. After all , all she caused was drama and heartache. I don’t like to live that kind of life , and every time I start thinking of her , I just remind myself of everything she done to me and our “so called” relationship.
It really feels like someone held up the Men in Black pen in front of them while they weren't wearing their sunglasses (mask). We don't exist anymore, we never existed to them. Maybe the saddest part is that many of their family and friends have seen them do the same to previous partners but don't say anything fearing the same fate, their silence probably makes them enablers.
This is exactly what a woman did who I lived with for over 6 years & who was a (non) friend. She went out with her fiancé for those 6 years but I never MET HIM.. she was talking to him on FaceTime once & he asked could he say hello to me so I went over to her to say hello to him but she COVERED HER CAMERA…. She used me as she needed money & asked me for several months rent in advance .. but once she got a consultant job she didn’t need that any more… She then floor married and at that point she immediately asked me to “move out” (no she wasn’t going to be living there in that apartment anymore)- she just didn’t need the money anymore. And my father had JUST DIED. And she told me all along “no I won’t need you to move out (if she got engaged)” - she waited until the engagement and then SLAP BANG.
After we finally broke up I made her confess her wrong doing by provoking her with some slick tactics on my part then she spit out all the bad things she did to me because I got her so mad but one thing she said of all the things that shocked me to this day...she wish that I rot and die...yeah she cant stand to know im alive and well and that I exist. She wanted me erased for sure.
Really ? A bad thing if a narcissist firvets about you? Its a gift.onlyif another host comes in line tbat is possible. Otherwise dodging TOXIC is crucial and appreciated
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
They can erase you physically BUT you will ALWAYS exist, rent-free, in their minds. 💯
I have to keep reminding myself that my ex narc is mentally ill. If I do not, the rumination is crippling.
I hear you. I ruminated for almost 2 years. They grip you in that way.
I've been ruminating for nearly a year. It's finally starting to ease up
I still have pain after nearly 3 years...
Journaling is helping me, along with much prayer and letting go! I say the serenity prayer every time I start to ruminate, or peace be still and know that I am God. It’s been helping the obssesive thoughts. They taught me that in a recovery group. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, thy will be done. Also, self care. I’m praying for all of us on this feed! We should get a group of us together to encourage each other on this journey to healing and thriving! We were victims, but I know I can’t stay there! I know my worth and I’m not going to allow him to rent space in my head anymore!
Thank you for your comment, I walked away from this type of person, I loved her after 5 years just months later she moved on to another guy and got married it’s been crippling for me , it’s been 3 years and am still struggling, I feel stuck and I’m in constant rumination, I pray at times but I easily give up , how can someone do this , I’ve given up on future relationships, so cold , pray for me please , I’m James , thank you ❤@@BrideOfYashua
They live firmly in the present moment. They can erase anything they did five minutes ago, and once they leave you, you are just as easily erased.
There isn’t anything wrong with living in the present moment in fact that is healthier than living in past or future, however people are not disposable and that is how they act towards those who have their own toxic traits that attracts the narcissist in the first place.
@@Aurora-Rose01 It's not always a case of toxic traits that cause attraction. Some of the Law of Attraction isn't really applicable to Narcissistic people and why they enter your life, although it can apply sometimes, I'm sure. If we think along those lines it can easily cross over into victim blaming and this is a huge issue in "spiritual communities". There's different ways of being in the present moment. There's observing, being aware and centered which is a higher consciousness way of being in the present moment, and then there is a lower consciousness way which is largely instinctual like an animal.
Yes so true! Demonic ex husband moves on after 18 yrs married and cheating the entire time. Once I divorced him he stoped talking to me and we have a 16 yr old son but only texts our son but makes it difficult to coordinate when to pick up and drop off our son.
I’m done with this person but we need to try to be cordial for our son at least until our he graduates highschool and thank goodness only one year left. So now I will go along and never text the ex narc again and if he wants to see our son he can come pick him up. I’m tired of accommodating the ex narc and doing all the back and forth driving. It’s ridiculous and immature and sadistic. He does not care if it impacts our son but I’m here only to make sure our son is ok. I’m so glad he’s an older teenager and God has got me. I’m good and the ex narc does not know it’s helped my healing by not being in contact with him. I’m glad he’s giving me the silent treatment post divorce. Moving on praise God!!!
10 years of relationship just like this
@@LeeLyanKing 15 years and just like that, everything's gone all pictures/posts/gifts. divorced her she wanted to reconcil but was seeing another man during that-so hell no. i will start over without them now she has the rebound man whiteknighting for her. all the same game she played with me in the beginning. now i know what they are and will avoid them in the future! never go back to your exes
With my covert narcissistic ex for 5 years. I was manipulated by a narcissist with a PhD in clinical psychology. (Licensed clinical psychologist with a big practice). She was an expert at gaslighting. She was only interested in her own personal interests, material possessions and what I could give her. When she broke up it was brutal,unexpected and very hurtful. Never told me why, broke off all contact and easily moved on. I now know who she is. A selfish person with No responsibility, no emotion depth, no empathy. Now I realize that she never met me half way. Sad way to go through life…
A lot of narcissists focus on psychology sadly it’s a way for them to focus on others issues and not themselves and they almost use psychology as God. Very disturbing.
I went through a lot of that too. She didn't even give 5%. They are emotionally distant because they are empty and have no interest in a healthy relationship. Once they are gone, you slowly return to your old self and you see how awful they treated you. I consider it a gift that she finally left. I gave her the best 10 years of my life and there was no appreciation of anything I did.
@@Aurora-Rose01 very true. She was so focused on her patients that she never did any introspection. I could never have a deep conversation with her. She always deflected any attempt. I feel sorry for her as she is in denial and can’t see who she really is. Sad really and somewhat ironic considering her education and career.
Sounds identical to mine.
I hate that u had to go through that. If u never married her or had a child or children with her, u dodged a major bullet.
You serve a purpose.
Once that purpose is served you cease to be of any value. You're history.
Definitely, they lack empathy, they are not able to establish relationships at a deeper level, and they are revengeful, sadistic in the way they will punish you. I dealt with “friends”, family members, and partners like that, unfortunately. For an empathetic person, it’s something very difficult to accept and understand.
They want us to go down to their pathetic level..
Fortunately we are not like these ones...they don't like us because we have an authentic ❤...they never can!
Always protect our real ❤🍀🕊
Best prototype of robotic programming.
Difference is that their blood and flesh push them to feel human alike.
They sensation of life joy is never fully experienced and because of that, they punish the normal people for their lack of compassion and love for themselves.
Sad nature of the narcissistic mind but for own good we must stay away of them as of any other type of predators.
No wonder they are craving for power in all levels of society to control everything around them to prove own existence.
I walked on the 10th January and she erased me from Facebook on the same day. New supply was embedded 14 days later!!….Its a total mind f£&@ how little they care for people
14 days later means the other guy was already there, unbeknownst to you, and likely in full swing. He was probably lied to as well about you.
Typical narc behavior. My ex Narc is currently with “the new step dad”, in which she’ll probably marry within the next year or so. We broke up six months ago mind you. Already fast-tracking the new man of her life!!! 😂 Gotta secure new supply as quick as possible.
@@sadboi7537 The new man was probably already there and unaware of the relationship you guys had. My replacement, when I spoke to him for the first time a year or two after everything ended, told me that she'd told him that she was divorced. She wasn't. She was still quite married.
I realize my family is Narcissistic as well , I now know its not my craziness , its such dysfunction .
My sister I thought she was a narsisist but no she is with a narsisist so she gets inpacted by him. He is putting all his bullshit on her. My sister has my daughter right now Im meeting all with love cause Ive seen my sister is NOT like her husband! I actually feel bad for her cause she is trapped and I do love my sister. She is also protecting my daughter, my daughter told me. I think I will be living here in my hometown for a little while longer. But I do wanna move from here with time and be totally free from this! It has been so though.
@@ainahagaListen to your guts...absolutely protect your daughter❣️🍀🕊
I feel for you. I am inner standing all the chaos in my own family. Finally. Sister and mother deeply narcissistic. The mind games I can no longer play.
i still hope my sister is a bit not a narc. I pray to God. But now I think maybe there is no hope for her either. I will keep working on getting my daughter home to me. I pray to God every day that she is not ruining my daughter. She will pay for sure. She will pay big time if she has done anything to my little girl.
I hope I am erased forever.
I was hoping so too; but after 2 years+ he is trying to contact me again! Ugh. Through fake SM accounts, and trying to call too. Ugh. Blocking seems to do no good. Yeah his relationship/marriage must have gone south. No surprise there.
I WANNA BE ERASED, YES I DO!
Precisely, narcissist is like the haunting ghost that stick to you forever. 'Being erased' by them is a dream come true.
I thought I was losing it ( breakdown ) until I stumbled across this material . Thankyou ever so much
This is one of the best videos on narc behavior, as it helps the target understand how the narc can go from love bombing to complete disinterest. Normal people don't do that. But covert narcissists do.
This is my life, 42 years married, she started calling me a covert narcissist, didn't even know what it was, I told her I thought we had a great relationship, she said she made it look good for 40 years I've been researching it now for 2 years, been separated 3 years, can't get my head straight, to much to tell. Thank you.
My narc-now-ex-wife called me a narcissist, too. It's called "projection" - when the narc says you are doing what they are doing, or you are what they are. Mysterious and vexing, right?
Fortunately for me, getting called a narc was the key that unlocked the gateway of information about covert narcissim. Now, we know.
I hope you have gone "no-contact" - blocking phone, text, email, social media. Or, at least "gray rock", if you have kids or a business together.
Worst. Pain. Ever.
Be strong it will get better.
Good news I was discarded ‼️Now I can restore my credit, save money, & spend time with family & friends. Marry a real man with a back bone.
Yes ma'am, freedom!!!! Watch out for the hoovering when he sniffs out your happiness.
@@cierrabennett206 what hoovering?
The devil is a liar and his agent too
@annenew8220 Hoovering is when a narc shows back up in your life, attempting to suck you back into their toxic antics. They will call, text, send songs, leave messages, send pix, confess their feelings to your friends and family hoping it gets back to you. They will show up to YOUR gym, YOUR grocery store, and even YOUR job, "See, I've changed." They pretend to have changed only bc they have lost control of you and the situation, and they do this with hopes of you returning ONLY SO THEY CAN REJECT YOU...AGAIN!!!!! This is a power move narcs use when either you discard them OR they discard you BUT couldn't find an adequate replacement. No contact and become a ghost. Tell your friends you don't wanna hear anything from that person, etc.
@annenew8220 ....and act like you don't see them. Like they are a 👻, boo! Get your life, get healthy, and become somebody that they used to know. Hoovering never stop if they have a means to contact bc they try to catch you at the "right time" to rekindle the relationship.
What i felt was like i was with a predator which was just busy with only their needs.. when the mask was off a few seconds i saw an empty shell which only reflects you nothing more.. sad to be them, broken people
I finally had my lightbulb moment and escaped the narcissistic abuser after 27 years of marriage. Over a decade later he continues to take me to court, abuse me financially and alienate our adult children. I could only wish that he would let me go, move on in his life and get control of his unhealthy behavior. Thank you for explaining the specifics of this character disorder and providing such meaningful journal prompts and video posts.
😢🙏
I got a second...
Dr, I have all your books.
always with a sense of nostalgia; Dr? Anoushka introduced me to the community a few years ago.
About that time, I got to hang-out with you guys; The Three Amigos. Podcast, years and years ago, hahah.
I had a ton of fun and you lit up the Podcast, you were so vibrant!
No lie, to this day, when I see you in the threads every now again,
I know credibility still stands for something.
No lie, Mad Respect.
I am glad you posted.
The beauty is the door can be locked on both sides
I came across this kind of relationship as a young person, before the present day heightened awareness about narcissistic people, since that separation and them moving on, I am a lot more cautious and look for similar behaviors in the people that I meet. When I pick up on it I exit. That person, I still admire some of her qualities, there are fond memories, but I am wise to it now.
Thats Me after being a bf for 35 years to one!! I said No for the first time and...POOF...I no longer have a friend and I must be dead!
But....I'm doing Very Well ...Living without her!!!!
Well done brother happy for you it's been 5 days for myself I accept she didn't wanna be with me anymore and I left 🎉
I have been erased by some family members. Don't really care anymore. They aren't relevant. I was used by them. but not anymore. The only thing I am pissed off about is how stupid I feel and like an idiot to even trust these people.
Same here.
Yes, this is what my Nex did- 20 years together, found out he’s a pathological liar, and boom- he’s gone…. Unreal
Hey guys, just wanted to say this for anyone going through it. I was with a covert narcissist for 8 years. It’s been a year since I cut all ties and blocked her on everything. It was so hard at first. But accepting reality for who these people are was paramount. Now that I’ve had time away to connect to myself I’ve never been happier. I have the strangest since of freedom and peace that I had forgotten about over the years. These monsters will stalk you and reach out to you if they need supply and you seem vulnerable. Do not give in at all. Not for closure. Nothing. They will not change. You empower yourself when you remove them for good. No contact. It gets easier with time I promise. Hope you all find someone who treats you well! You got this!!
Mine would do things like steal from her employer. She was coming home with wads of cash. I kept insisting she tell me what she was involved in. She finally told me and I told her she was going to eventually get caught. She insisted what she was doing was undetectable. She was finally fired after a few months.
Probably the worst thing she did that should have made me realize how broken she was, she drowned an entire litter of newborn baby puppies. I was like WTF. I asked her why??? Her response was we have too many dogs.
The last straw was when she got covid. She INTENTIONALLY gave it to me. And she wouldn't even take off work. She was spreading it to her coworkers. I could not unsee her wickedness, she knew it, and she soon after filed a divorce.
But the front she presents to world is a quiet angel. These people are sick 🤢
Torture and killing of pet / animals is a major red flag of sociopathy / psychopathy.
Drowned a litter of newborn puppies? Sounds like you dodged a major bullet...
Because I was too strong.
That’s part of it. Possibly because you saw through their bs.
Exactly
Quite literally, this exact same thing happened to me five years ago. I didn't know at the time what happened, and I didn't understand the nuances of all of it, and i didn't know about any of this terminology or what clinical narcissism was. All I knew was was I was in agony after having been so brutally thrown away like a bag of trash. What helped me was when I went to the house for the last time and had the opportunity to poke around as I was there alone. I'd found evidence of the replacement man, at least one trio to a hotel, and other disturbing things. At least then I knew that I wasn't crazy and it wasn't my fault. We were married for nearly 11 years and it's as if not a single day ever mattered to her at all. Absolutely insidious. I don't know how people like this live with themselves. They must be devoid of any real life.
I was 14 he as 16. What a not love story it was full of lies and deceit. 51 years of my life then he skipped out the door cause I got a hold of his playbook.. painful but im thankful im free now to laugh and make friends i can even speak to people amazing. His favourite name calling was calling everyone a Waster. Horrible word he had no hobbies and no friends after 51 years freedom now. No more manipulation life is good I think he knew he was the waster. Thankyou for a great video. x
It feels like that in the beginning but eventually they come back and they don’t stop coming back. I had two different ones come back at two different times 26 years later I got one that just came back after two years trying to get back in I don’t believe they forget about you.
I got her a new phone for Christmas and one day she asked me to help her backup all her stuff to her computer. I thought I was being helpful and here I was being used to erase myself from her life. Next level p.o.s.
Just pure evil and not human.
Best course of action that I took…. Ok, find a new place to live, best of luck. And full steam ahead with my life, zero intentions of having another relationship after that “experience”. I leaned heavily into family and educated myself on what I experienced.
The single most important thing you can do is prepare yourself with educating and expect a Hoover.
He even sees me in passing here and there because unfortunately we live in the same small town and he acts like im a stranger like i dont exist
Consider it a gift he treats you like a stranger. I have one that has harassed me for 16 years after I did the break-up. Her Smear Campaign targeted my family, close friends, and one co-worker. She went to my work and tried to get me fired. There are other hateful things she did to get back at me. Malignant narcissists will make it their mission in life to destroy you.
@racebannon96 well he dumped me and quickly moved in with his new supply he had been cheating on me with. Even tho he put me up in a pedastol for 3 yrs and I was "the one" and talked marriage n all that. All the while he had her on the side for months and then boom I was dropped and now im non existent. Not heard from him in 6 months. Never got any reasoning or never got to say my peace. Nothing. He runs. Hides.
@racebannon96 Hes one those vulnerable narcs. And hes a coward. He just hops from person to person. No closure
Fantastic video & great insight into this. It's the strangest thing to go through.
When the narcissist doesn't know you know that means you beat em in their own game but...because they are narcissists they will always assume you deserve everything they are planning to do or already did from the get go of the relationship because they don't give a flying fk about anyone but themselves. Sometimes we stick around more than we are supposed to and keep playing "the game" but that's useless if we stay there because we don't like it as much as they do and if you stick around basically you are out of character and you are acting as a narcissist too so in that case they too got a little victory because they made you play their game so get out asap.
My narc of 18 years just moved out with no explanation no closure didn't care who or what it affected. But im glad they are gone now and ready to move on in life. I dont even care for closure at this point. Im just upset i was so blind for so long I feel so used. When I stopped doing every thing for them,which I never got in return I was discarded
I was discarded to be ‘used’ later. Imagine that! The whole shelving dynamic that I refused to be part of. No parking in the harem garage for me. Funny that when he came to pick up where he left off then … i was gone. Believe he was a bit surprised. What a shame! One discard is all you need to get back on your feet, folks! They so ain’t worth it!
We ought feel invited to do deep, thorough and regular Shadowork, as individuals, and as a collective.
Thank you for making these videos!!! I had a friend that I believe is a narcissist. All of this makes sense to me now.
I'd say Yay! Ive left family behind due to this and never looked back. Time was even better proof.
Brutal is the perfect word. One day fine, next day they went no contact. It will take a very long time. Very insightful video.
I did that to my ex narcissist. It’s called no contact.
It was extremely difficult and I still think of her.
I don’t care what she thinks about me. That’s not my problem.
I wish she didn’t exist in my life, ever.
Don't worry, there is a retribution to all the things you have been through.
You can heal and grow, but they will always be trapped in that selfish mentality. They will never be happy nor content, although they can fake being on top of the world.
But they fear and panic at the idea of being alone, they need constant supply to fuel that alternate reality they leave in.
Forget about them, they don't care about anyone at a true deep level. They are to be dealt with at best on a superficial level only.
People around them will grow tired of their antics, you're free now, and they will chase money and partners and material stuff like its oxygen.
You are better off without them.
Go find healthy people, and learn to detect fake people and avoid making any deep connection with someone who doesn't even exist.
They're abusers, and you can apply no contact as well if needed.
But never take another narc in your personnal n private life, they'll ruin your life in so many ways.
They wish they could erase you but when you heal and get back on track they hate that because when you catch them or discorver who they really are they want you to rot and die ( those are the exact words of my last narcissist when I beat her in her own game) they hate that you know who they really are but in their world you can't live because no one else knows who they really are.
wow ! Spot on
They were abused as children, accepted only if they performed, as a superior specimen. They had to be smart, beautiful, clever etc. They were taught everyone else was inferior and they had to perform, to become a successful adult. They were taught a set of values that would make them into a superior human - know extra languages, know how to code, be gorgeous, be rich... didn't matter.
When they interact with someone, they assign a certain role to that person, based on these values or this plan of being superior.
You're either below in every important aspect, so they don't look at you, treating you with contempt from the get go. Or you'll be kept as "junk food", the one that's the loser in every aspect. They can always have a "snack", by belittling you once in a while. (The bully at school, at the office etc.)
Or they admire a certain aspect of you and want you in their lives. However, you have to be inferior in other aspects and they'll focus on those. "You're intelligent, but you are a loser when it comes to social interactions. You're lucky you have me as a friend! No one would even consider being a friend of yours. You're sooo awkward." or "My god, honey, you are gorgeous! You know this! But you know you're not really good when it comes to math, computers and things like that." They can only tolerate someone that will make them look good, but they cannot be superior either.
If you stop adhering to their "plan", they'll discard you. If you become too successful, when you were considered to be a loser, or, the opposite, when you fail at certain things, in their eyes.
You don't matter, the "plan" does, their set of values, accomplishing their goal of proving they're superior. This is how they were taught. They themselves were treated the same way, as children. Caring for others implies failing at their plan. They can't care, because they were never taught how to care. On the other hand, thinking of others, being giving, becoming in the service of you, implies failure. If they fail, they die. They felt like they were going to die when they were abused in this way, by their parents.
So, when you want them to care for you, change your assigned role, you want to kill them, literally. If you want a long lasting romantic relationship, when they were taught to f*** everything that moves, to validate themselves, you are a murderer. When you want your parent to care for you, to admit what they did, again... you are a murderer. When you want to become more than "just friends", again... you're a murderer. How dare you? Know your place!
A perfect explanation
Imagine being erased from your childrens lives.
Hurts like hell !!!
That is what really hurts me, was I nothing 💔 did he ever really loved or my children 💔 😢. It's not even who you left me for and abandoning our family! But to just putvher in my place and so fast
He loves no one. I'm sorry you are hurting. He is a pretender with everyone. Don't let him use the kids as puppets.
Why I listen to techno music and a lecture on narcisism at the same time? Trippy as hell.
The situation is too layered to leave in a comment section...but I've been bogged down by not having family. I have 8 grandkids I will never see because my kids were so wowed by their dad when he finally showed up. Their Daddy Hunger was so intense by the time they were adults he was like a Super Star to them.
Even when they do favors, it’s transactional specially if they say oh I helped this person because they helped me instead of saying I would help them regardless if they help me, that’s that’s true kindness
They are the definition of coward
Yes. All narcs are cowards!
Yes, he told me once I was gone he would never think of me and probably will not remember my name. I believe it, too. He thought getting attached to people was a waste of time. Very sociopathic. He thought relationships were stupid. He wanted sex, and he did not want to be called or bothered in between. He will call if he wants to see you. Never meany any human like this, hope I never do again. Sociopath and highly narcissistic. Started insulting everything about me the second time we got together.
She threw away literally 20 years worth of knowing/being intimate with each other when she decided to publicly trash me on her Instagram page. She crossed a line that she can never come back from. See ya later. ✌️
I hope you have blocked her in every form of social media, phone, text, email. It's critical to your sanity.
Now, heal.
Sorry that happened but I’m confused? Why would she be trashing you on ig just because 😂 Your saying she threw 20 years away by trashing you but probably leaving out everything in between why would she randomly just trash you after 20 years if you didn’t do anything to her lmfao odd sounds like my
Pathological cheating lying abusive ex mad that I’m trashing his ass online oh well that’s what happens
How can you do this to someone and feel good about yourself. They are despicable people. I just can't believe I was with him for so long. I ignored the red flags.
Yep feels good
Yep. 3 years + ago i was dropped over night with no rhyme or reason. To this day i still have no freakin clue what happened, but i do know she was using me.
Still hurts.
I was discarded after going on vacation with a friend. 4+ years of friendship and poof * gone. I moved back to the town where we met, saw him on the street once from my friends car, living his life as usual, unbothered. Hope to never run into him ever again. It’s such a confusing thing when someone can erase you over night after years of investment and one on one times together
I actually realised that once, she just flattered my ego at first, and made me feel something for her, but there wasn't much depth, intellectually, I actually thought she was quite dull. Wanted to tell her something I felt she would find interesting, but she just switched off, even walked away and ignored me, felt that was really strange.
This may have been my part of my mother’s purpose, for switching me into the scapegoat role. I think she became consumed with jealousy, as she aged. And, as it seemed a folie a deux, my sister has grabbed the baton, acting as if her life is a complete nightmare, because I exist.
I notice with apps like whats*pp, when the woman is mad at me , she would take down her profile pic, if she doesn’t get her way. And happens many time with different women, especially when they don’t get their way. Like that going to hurt my feelings. I guess they don’t like Dark Empaths🤭Love your content! ✌️
This is literally what happend to me after years marriage ( without no real reason)... No explanation no conversation no nothing. Literally " light off " What's the...f...? Not even meeting clousure explanation
No matter the investment you make with selfish people, they look at you as a novelty item, easily replaced. I have discovered that more than 90% of the people i KNOW, not just met, but KNOW, are narcissistic AF! Yeah, we ALL had a "Tough" upbringing, but c'mon Man! I have also found that treating others like children when they act as such, susses the Snake out of the woodpile. As a result, I have no friends. Bummer, but I have time for my narcissistic endeveaours now, so I guess in final analysis, we as a specie are evolving into narcissists, so don't hold back, it IS ALL ABOUT YOU!, I will be over here not giving a F!
Imagine this. Help her in any way possible..Helped her get her Visa to stay in country , cause she came to make better living as a whole.I didnt had job at the moment, no benefits from social system , spend all my savings on us and for her to be able to stay. Finnaly found myself a job which was not really good payed. I struggle to pay for all expenses for two years but still i gave her gifts from time to time , my time and my love. As soon as she found a job that was better payed as mine she broke up with me. Not a normal break up , after two years living together, she just moved out our apartment while i was working, sending me msg that she is breaking u with me. No talk after two years, it feels like i never materred in first place ..i feel used . I am healing thou
My narc mother and narc siblings did that to me. They stole my part of the inheritance I got from my dad and then said, I don’t belong to the family. And since then they act like if I had never existed.
She is right is not personal is just buiness😂❤
You said in other video that the final discard is an illusion...
My ex narc discarded me , but thought she could keep me on the back burner in order to use for me money purposes. Little did she know I cut loses and quit talking to her , period. So as far as erasing me , no. It’s a two way street where I come from. After all , all she caused was drama and heartache. I don’t like to live that kind of life , and every time I start thinking of her , I just remind myself of everything she done to me and our “so called” relationship.
In my case, she underestimated me? I write her off before she knows what happens. ..absolute rubbish 🗑
That's how it felt..one minute we was good and the next she was done with me.
No erasing with mine! I'm not allowed to go anywhere
Started a narc series on my page about my experiences dealing with somebody with this disorder. Hope it helps somebody.
It really feels like someone held up the Men in Black pen in front of them while they weren't wearing their sunglasses (mask). We don't exist anymore, we never existed to them. Maybe the saddest part is that many of their family and friends have seen them do the same to previous partners but don't say anything fearing the same fate, their silence probably makes them enablers.
There is something don't go
This is exactly what a woman did who I lived with for over 6 years & who was a (non) friend. She went out with her fiancé for those 6 years but I never MET HIM.. she was talking to him on FaceTime once & he asked could he say hello to me so I went over to her to say hello to him but she COVERED HER CAMERA…. She used me as she needed money & asked me for several months rent in advance .. but once she got a consultant job she didn’t need that any more… She then floor married and at that point she immediately asked me to “move out” (no she wasn’t going to be living there in that apartment anymore)- she just didn’t need the money anymore. And my father had JUST DIED. And she told me all along “no I won’t need you to move out (if she got engaged)” - she waited until the engagement and then SLAP BANG.
Sounds like a terrible person. ??
After we finally broke up I made her confess her wrong doing by provoking her with some slick tactics on my part then she spit out all the bad things she did to me because I got her so mad but one thing she said of all the things that shocked me to this day...she wish that I rot and die...yeah she cant stand to know im alive and well and that I exist. She wanted me erased for sure.
she sure did,and a year later started stalking me ,flying monkeys and odd # text messages.i dont even answer
Never
You control me at end of day
Oh this is for Real!! Hot and so good, then I was his immediate “Road Kill” in a heartbeat.. insane. I’ll never go back!
I ALREADY DONT EXSIST , THEY RUNNING AFTER ILLUSIONS😊
Did they love their exes? As he didn't block his exes but me. Is his current partner better than me? does he feel connect with her?
Really ?
A bad thing if a narcissist firvets about you?
Its a gift.onlyif another host comes in line tbat is possible.
Otherwise dodging TOXIC is crucial and appreciated
When is the next live?
Told me after 6yrs we didn't have a relationship Go and re program your brain
Why do they come back? X
You ain't superficial
I only love Anoskhas
What does he do getting intimate with new people just put it in what is he saying..........??? Not looking at the person just the act .?? Correct...
I watch you coz want
got dump by a divorced single mom with a text message after 4 years .
I think narcacissism is a relationship style.
Yeah she wasn't worth it
Wants?
I might fucking love you
You might be
Never it's weird that speak like this but something about you
Do u think I can't love u?
But you
N you love?
Stop talking......period
Crave what
I wish👈🏻