Thank you so much for answering my question Kati!!!! (I'm #8) I cried during your whole answer 😩 that's the most validation I have EVER gotten about my mom
I loved your question. I could relate so much to it too. You are definitely not alone and your feelings are definitely valid. So thanks for asking it on behalf of so many people.
Timestamps: 3:20 Hi Kati - can you please talk about ways on how to communicate our needs and hurts to our friends without feeling like an exposed nerve when we do it? 10:30 What do you recommend for those who tend to isolate themselves when they’re feeling down or depressed? I push everyone I know away, and ultimately it... 16:31 Hey Kati I am well into my 30s now but still, feel stuck in a very childlike brain. I feel very incapable of doing adult things... 26:51 Hi Kati, how is it 'normal' to want your therapist to worry about you? I certainly don't exaggerate my issues but I just constantly crave her attention and it makes me feel heard and seen. It also just makes me feel like my eating disorder is more 'real' if... 34:14 Hi Kati! I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to stop having intrusive memories. I’ve always looked at past memories with a feeling of dread because I would always recall memories with... 41:34 Hi Kati, what can we do when positive coping skills just feel too exhausting, too much, too uncomfortable, and too boring? I feel like there is so much I need to do to keep my physical and mental health and I think I really resent it. I feel like a lot of coping skills I am told feel like... 45:53 Hi Kati! What is the difference between dissociation and brain fog? I often (most of the time) feel cut off from the world and unable to take in reality. I "zone out", especially when overstimulated, and I'm not sure what I'm... 51:43 Hi Kati, can you talk about having an emotionally unintelligent parent and how that might affect us? I have been going to therapy for about 4 months now and know now that my mom is emotionally unintelligent. She can be very... 1:00:16 Hi Kati - I'm a sexual abuse survivor who is currently in therapy. I've addressed the trauma, confronted my abuser, and gotten rid of the triggers that used to occur during sex itself, but I still have one nagging issue that I can't seem to get rid of... 1:08:42 What does it mean when my therapist asks me to imagine or think back to something, and I can only think about the fact that I need to imagine or think back to something? 1:11:38 Hey Kati! How do therapists feel when a client tells you that they are having suicidal thoughts?
About isolating, I do that as well, but the worst thing for me is when people push and won't leave me alone because they think they know better and I'd feel better if I just pushed through and socialised anyway. I heard that growing up all the time, and am only now beginning to be honest with myself about what I want and need. Some of my friends get it, but others seem determined to "fix" me so I'll return to what I used to be. That can be very frustrating.
I’ve needed these AKA videos... I confronted my parents a few days ago about their behaviors, trying to set up good boundaries. It didn’t go well. But your videos are helping me feel grounded, understood, and not so...alone. Thank you.
my family who i cu tlose after years of communication an lies and abuse and failuires and i was the happy one the healthy one. so four years ago an event tookplae to undermine me of my happy and healthy and for four years no on asked or ared what this meant and they ran over me deaf ear me to have me mentally il.. after four years of every trick in devils book induce on me startin with a man take me from 24 year of happy and a trick used on me to induce instant mentall death on me. then i was sexually insulted while i lost control of my ife and was put in places to destroy my talent life that would never happen uniless this was done to me to f uck me up. i was to guarded with m life to wise and for four years. i was toture and dosed with all evil and not given the first aid. my ties to god were removed and i was toss back into a family brain damage and in need of fast medical care to prvent permanent loss of life and health and was ignored again smae way. and insulted as having left them and got even. my life is now a nothign worthess trash.. and i fought but did not make it.
It always blows my mind when twice a week therapy is mentioned, because where I live in upstate NY you have to fight to even be able to have a once a week appointment! Every other week is almost all that therapists ever have available.
thank you for making these podcasts. I found them a few days ago and now listen to one of them every day and I feel so validated and just like you are allowing me to feel whatever it is, that my experiences are okay and that I am not alone and somebody understands and doesn't judge me for my mental illnesses ♥♥♥
In terms of being resilient, my therapist has told me that I’m resilient and “rising through the ashes.” To me, describing someone as being resilient can potentially be toxic...like we’re expected to celebrate and be happy of how we came out of our struggle. For me, as someone who has experienced trauma, my “resiliency” is more of surviving, because recovery is hard as hell, and even exhausting.
I feel this so much! I’m not getting though life without having to pay a price on my mental health or on knowing and feeling who I actually am. - I suppose it would make a change, if I changed my understanding of resiliency to a more self caring definition instead of a definition of toughening up and shutting emotions down.
I'm the one with the sixth question. And yes, I kind of know I need more help, but my biggest issue is that trying to communicate is what is most exhausting for me personally. Like, a lot of the time doing a thing is much less stressful then asking a person to do the thing for me, because I need to explain, and that's really stressful to think about the words of things I just do. I always feel like I put so much effort into communicating and explaining and get so little out of it. Also with inpatient treatments, I got trauma from my first one and got retraumatized at the day care treatment I had last year. I've been thinking about that a service dog would probably provide me with the support I need, but I kind of doubt that getting one will be doable for me, and I always think so much that "oh, I'm sure I don't need one because I will sure be better soon".
Maybe use bridge statements about getting a service dog? We got tw cats one/two years ago respectively, after our kids asked for them for years, and I've been surprised how much joy they give me, and help lessen my anxiety. You can keep the dog even if you get better. I think a pet is great! AND I'm so happy your question got picked, I loved it and related so much, and Kati's answer was so helpful! 😊
@@_maia_m Glad you liked the question. What do you mean about bridge statements? Like, what kind of bridge statement and how is that going to help my financial situation/living situation/studying situation/the time I can give? I kind of don't get it. I'm also not sure if I'm actually allowed to have a pet in our flat, and I'd probably have real trouble finding one when I move with a pet, and if I get better I probably really have trouble like I can't leave a pet alone for so long at home.
@@toni2309 Oh, I misunderstood, I thought you just weren't sure if you could/should have one if you got better soon. Like, "I want one but I'm not sure if I should". Bridge statements aren't relevant to those other obstacles of course, I'm sorry.
Kati Morton hello really have been waiting all day for this podcast really not sure what time these are upload I'm here and glad I finally received my notification seriously needed this I wrote a question really hoped I'd get some help and advice I really haven't felt good hopefully next time I am listening to your nice calming voice and very helpful advice good questions s this week its late here in UK 10:30 pm but sticking with the podcast I'll always continue to stay with your channel sending love kati❤
These videos are so helpful, because I do not have a positive support system at this time and can't afford a therapist. I have also gone to some bad therapists in the past. I had one that told me I had ADD and tried to charge me for appointments I didn't make. One helped me to leave my ex, but would bad mouth her daughter, told me she would stop seeing patients that wouldn't follow her advice and suggested I join a commune. I am working on getting over my agoraphobia on my own and taking what works for me from online videos. I have found agoraphobia has been a way to plan my day, since I am now alone and am used to being codependent on others. I only know how to do things when I have work I have to do or someone to tell me what I should be doing. I am learning to trust myself more than others, because I am realizing that those close to me have only been given me advice that is in their best interest, not mine. Unfortunately, my family will help only on their terms and expect compliance and an enmeshed relationship in return. I grew up very easy going and malleable, so I tend to attract people who are controlling and like that I can be manipulated. I'm codependent so I can only focus on a few relationships at a time, so I end up with few friends. I have had to start all over, left my toxic job and ex, and am limiting conversations with my family. I have just realized that someone I thought was a good friend is now not so much once I started sticking up for myself more. I should have known in the beginning when she told me to f off when I said I thought she looked like an actress that she thought was ugly. I cried because she caught me off guard. She said I was too sensitive and didn't understand her passionate way of communicating. I stuck around because I thought she ultimately had my back because she would often praise me and always said how much she appreciated me because I was a good listener. Now I look back and realize she really wasn't ever there for me emotionally and we mostly did things on her schedule where I was often waiting around for her. I have also recognized that I have some long distance friends that I rarely talk to but have a relationship more based on healthy mutual respect. This helps me to know I have people out there that appreciate me for who I really am, not just when I'm agreeable. I now use these healthier friendships as a template for any future relationships I plan on making.
just quit my full time job today, and it was really hard. these podcasts help. hopefully i can ask a question one day- but take ur week off kati! thank you for all the time and thought you put into these episodes!
Question 7 reminds me of exactly the questions I was asking before I got my autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. Sometimes there is just too much information for me to process and I have to shut it out. I get quite sleepy and shut down. It looks a lot like dissociation sometimes. The difference, for me, was that it was an accumulation of little things I found overwhelming rather than a single triggering moment. It gets worse with burnout, too. Maybe have a look at sensory processing disorder and see if anything there makes sense to you? The best strategy I found was to remove the stressors I could (I.e. fond a familiar place, switch the lights off, cuddle under a weighted blanket, listen to music so I can't hear annoying noises, etc. ) and just wait. I hope that helps.
I absolutely hate having dissociation! It’s like experiencing a dream like state to me and watching myself outside my self. I have many health issues going on and live with my very emotionally bad verbally and spiritually abusive husband in a long term marriage. 😢
OH. MY. GAWD. It was as if someone read my mind, and posted my questions....not only that, i felt like you could have been talking straight to me while answering. You made me cry. You validated my feelings and state of emotionality . I just began schema therapy. I'm confused, I dont like it, I feel like it's not the right fit for me. I cant be totally open and transparent yet. I dont trust or talk about my feelings easily. WHY? WHY IS THIS SO DAMN HARD??????
Does anyone else have supportive and caring friends, like the ones who always try their best and take time for you, who however upon telling them something that is bothering you or that is really important to you or something that has been on your mind and you need someone to talk to say that they don't know how to respond, need some time off to process it because it's too much for them, or kind of just say oh yeah but look on the bright side... ?
Yes sometimes they dont know what to say but I dont blame them because sometimes I have difficulty knowing what to say as well when someone opens up to me...it might help to let them know more specifically what sort of help u are looking for. Like letting them know if u are looking for advice or their opinion or just someone to listen.
A bit of an excessively elaborate response to question number 7 (thank you for answering!!!): Yes, I have been feeling particularly stressed and anxious for quite a while now, and I definitely do feel tired and have trouble concentrating, which points towards brain fog. But sometimes (usually when I'm in a stressful situation/ overthinking/in a place with lots of stimuli) I feel like my mind loses contact with either the world or my body (or both); I feel like I'm "disappearing". I have felt like I wasn't really speaking when I really was, like I wasn't controlling my own voice. My memories are usually vague but not completely absent. I've pretty much daydreamed through my teenage years and, although I don't really do that anymore, I always find it very difficult/almost impossible to feel present. Whenever I "space out" I tend to be a lot more careless because I want to feel present. I don't like it at all. Perhaps some people here can relate?
I relate a lot to your experience. And for me, I think, it has to do a lot with sensory processing disorder and me learning to zone out and flee into my head in order to cope with my sensorily overwhelming environment. I have heard that being forced to stay in sensorily overwhelming environments for SPD people *can* be traumatic. For me personally, what Kati explained hasn't been very true to my experiences. I have had brain fog because of neck issues and had a lot of memory issues then, but that definitely wasn't dissociation because it was like a physical thing that got better with heat and exercise and grouding didn't work and it was not trauma induced and stress had some effect but wasn't all. My brain fog I would explain as like not being able to hold more than one thought. Like there's a lot of fog in your head and as soon as I grasp a new thought the other one is gone. On the other hand I have experiences where grounding works and it really feels like I'm kind of super spaced out and far away and it kind of brings me back into my body, but the physical experience is very similar to brain fog, I do feel very dizzy, but in addition my body feels a bit "nonexistant". So like, to me those felt very similar actually and I can't even always distinguish. When I was really stressed out I have experienced a state where I felt really like everything was a dream and lights looked different and it really felt like time was jumping and I have heard an explanation of derealization that went a lot like that. But when I had a traumatic incident or when I am remembered of trauma my memory is actually quite okay. I just feel like I don't really have a body but I'm a spectator kind of controlling my body from far away. And when I'm overstimulated I kind of blank out a lot of sensory experience. I kind of only focus on very few things and everything else is a blur. I find it pretty similar to my trauma experiences because there, too, I don't really feel my body much.
Hi, I can totally relate. I still struggle with this, but it got much better after I realized what it means. I feel like when people say "dissociation", they imagine a very drastic state (like leaving your body) but don't realize that for some people it can take this low-level chronic form that bothers you 24/7. I daydreamed through childhood too :) I was absolutely convinced I had the best childhood ever until I got into therapy and explored all these symptoms. Then I realized my childhood was actually full of very traumatizing events that I just tried very hard not to think about. So that's my experience. Hope this helps :)
@@toni2309 Thanks so much for your response! I definitely am more sensitive to some types of sensory information (mostly sounds and bright light but also internal stimuli like excessive worry) so what you're saying does make sense to me. I definitely think that it's connected to what I experience.
@@betkavargova5900 Thank you!! This definitely does help, because you're right, it does feel like a constant low-level kind of dissociation. I've been on the waiting list to get into therapy for several months so I'm hoping I'll figure it out soon. :)
Milena milena .hello like the comment and agreed about kati shes very calming take care stay safe hope you remember me eathier way it's fine I remember you from other kati podcast s seeyou again next time 🙂🖐
I love the questions thanks for people who asked and thank you for being great and helpful and answering, very helpful ♥️. Also I am so excited about your new book
Just want to add listening to the question s asked and all your answers was very calming it's always good to be able to understand a certain health problem even when you don't suffer from it lastly question number I think its 11 last question was honestly good to hear your answer s also could relate to because iv had on and off bad thoughts in my head uncomfortable and I on and have to question my thoughts I understand and know what's like because even when I don't want the nasty suicidal thoughts I still sometimes get them when I'm feeling very depressed take care people in the comments and thanks kati for your important information x
Nikki, I often read your comments and hope that you are okay. I'm glad that this wonderful community and Kati's expertise can offer you some understanding and relief. I hope that it reminds you in your "darker" hours that you are not alone and that you are an important part of our global community. You matter and we want you here for a very long time. Take care of yourself x
@@duck7237 hello and thank you for your reply and such caring comforting comment so often nobody says anything to me it's really nice to receive your comment thanks again for letting me know I'm wanted here and I matter I suffer from depression and anxiety and its honestly hard for me to reach out and talk to anyone nice to meet you here perhaps we will meet again on another kati video you reached out to me and I'm thankful 🙂
@@nikkimckay860 hi Nikki. I apologise for my belated response. I'm madly working my way through a list of projects before I have to take more time off for yet another surgery. Thanks for your lovely reply. I'm sorry that you are struggling with anxiety and depression; they are such insidious diseases. I also have anxiety and I am often shocked by how debilitating it can become without much warning. That dark world that we sometimes slip into can be such a terrifying place to exist within. The worst thing about it is that we inevitably end up there, in that scariest place, completely alone. I struggle quite a bit opening up too much with those closest to me, so I take a lot of comfort from the Kinions and the rest of Kati's online community. We are all dealing with some dark shit and it's a helpful reminder that we are never truly alone. No matter how it feels sometimes. Take care of yourself, Nikki. You are an integral part of our wonderful, little community. And even if you don't always get a response to your posts, be sure that somebody has read it and related to it and cared. Sending love friend x
I always love your podcasts. Almost always watch them right away. So good. Also the "Kids in the Hall" thing at the end was the best. I used to do that all the time lol
Thank you for your videos. I've been misdiagnosed as having the bipolar dissorder, then rediagnosed as having borderline personality dissorder, PTSD, ADD. I still wonder if there's something else I'm dealing with. I drift off much of the day and have to 'ground' myself somehow. I always feel like I'm not really here. I'm exhausted most of the day, but I get enough sleep so I don't understand. It's been this way all my life. I just thought struggling through daily exhaustion was normal. I'm quiet about all of this to the outside world and am a pro at knowing and making the 'correct' normal happy response. Responding like this is like second nature, but it's not at all how I am in the inside. It's very hard to find a specialist in this area. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Maybe another thought of what's going on with me? I'm sorry for writing a book here. I'm just tired of being tired and not normal. I have no close friends and distance myself from family not realizing it.
I don’t have an answer for you, but I have Borderline too. I’m tired nearly all day. No matter how long I sleep, I never feel rested. I was googling this exact thing today and wondering if there’s some relation between fatigue and bpd. I also feel very floaty and zone out. That is a symptom of bpd as well. So if it helps, I think the things you’re describing do fit well with bpd and I go thru them as well. Either way I hope you find some kind of peace!
I really appreciated your answer to question nr 9, so thank you for answering it, Kati, and thank you to the person who asked this question! I could relate to do much of this. I was sexually abused at the same age, and it makes sense that you get stuck at that age sexually in many ways when you haven't been able to develop your sexuality at your own pace. I never thought about it that way before, but it definitely fits to my experience as well. I really can't wait for your trauma book, Kati, I look do much forward to it!
Being worried about makes me uncomfortable and frightens me a bit. I know exactly why this happens, but I just wanted there to be someone here expressing a different perspective.
wow, thanks for this video. perfect timing.. in my country i’m not really bothered with covid. however, feeling like burning out and dissociating and looking to cope i love all of your videos btw. thanks and take care. take your time :)
I as a transmasculine Agender individual sex is so intimidating regardless of having a kid and been with my partner for 2+ years and now have come completely shut down and disassociating during sex its so disheartening.
Hi, Kati! Could you please talk about gender disphoria? I'm a girl who's always wanted to be a guy, but I'm not trasgender, and when thinking about transforming, I don't want to do that. And when I think about being born a guy on the first place, I think that in that case that wouldn't be me, I wouldn't have been myself then. So I kinda like ME, a person I am, who I am, but I still want to be a guy. I feel so comfortable wearing men's clothes, not shaving, and when I drew beard and moustache it felt so right. So I'm torned! Any advice how to deal with that?
Hey Kati, I have been recently diagnosed with PTSD but I've been having issues taking my psychologists advice of being around friends. I find that I don't let myself "rot" in my depression when I keep regular hang out with friends. In Pre-Covid times i was having a hard time because i just don't have the right friends to hang out I love talking to them when I can but I think my PTSD symptoms are too much for them so I've become that touch and go friend to keep data distance, is this fixable? Can I fix these relationships and how do I so?
I am SO exited for the book, ALSO hahahaha that was FUNY 😆 a podcast with sounds of sleeping. Sometimes I joke that Sia (the singer) and literally sing ahhh ahhh ahh and I would buy tickets for just that LOL cause she’s so talented!!!
Kati Morton thank you for answering my comment I made on question 5 regarding confidentiality. I really wish you can maybe do another video on confidentiality because not every therapist in America is same basic prinicples rules of confidentiality as you do. Every therapist has a right to say what is a limit of confidentiality and is a big reason why do not seek therapy at all and do not trust therapists at all. What is the point of therapy if therapy cannot be guaranteed confidential at all? It never seems like a safe place to talk about anything. What is the point of therapy if there is limits to confidentiality. Some people may not even seek therapy for this reason even! If it was safe, then I can visit any therapist and speak everything on my mind. I still use the crisis text line as a resort when I am in despair and those people there are very understanding and I keep myself anonymous so I do not get my name taken down. I also resort to suicide hotlines because i feel like there it is a safe place to talk about anything. I do have friends I can trust with my secrets in times of distress or despair as emergency crisis friends to reach out to. However,I am still afraid to try going to therapy because I shopped around many therapists and it still seems like it is not a guaranteed safe place to speak your mind of at all. My therapist long ago only would (had not to officially ever actually, knock on wood) report me if I was homicidal or suicidal in my country (which made it why I can tell her anything), but here in America, it does not seem extremely safe to speak your mind to therapists at all. To me it seems like, if you are stressed do not ever see a therapist, do NOT trust in therapists at all, do not see them, they seem to make things more complicated than good if you had to even speak or talk to them. I would still panic to even see one. Honestly, they cost too much money to see and it is a waste of money in my opinion, because you said in your Google Talks for your book that the goal of therapy is to get you to the point where you do not need it anymore. You can easily talk to your mates than speaking to a therapist, because your mates can give you sound advice that a therapist can also give you.
About second question, what about people who don't have friends, but family members were actually responsible, they were the trigger of a mental breakdown?
Hi Katie, I just started therapy of 2 sessions, and I feel like he hates me and judging me. Am I imagining it and maybe I should Not go back? I feel like I’m annoying 😢 and can’t talk about myself. Does he hate me? What should I do? I felt last time, that I’m waiting my time and money.
Not so good this month and year I recently had a family emergency and my poor therapist called me on Tuesday to see how I was doing and then on her day off she had a session with me
Still watching the rest of the video, but the end of your response to #7 gave me pause, I have been noticing lately something that happens to me a lot; when I am feeling a certain way, be it depressed, happy, despair, angry, or pick another major mood, I have a difficult time accessing memories from when I was in a different mood, I have full access to all the memories of that mood, but remembering things from a different mood is foggy and takes immense effort and sometimes accessing those memories can launch me into that other mood, occasionally I can use this to get out of a funk, but more often it leads me into depression, is this a variant of dissociation?
25:28 "it's me, it's not you" since yawns are pretty contagious things, you are a little bit wrong here. 25:39 no! it's not a good answer! what morning news? we need a link!
4:38 - nobody gives a damn how a white man in his 50s "feels". We just gota keep going, pushing any pain down. Anyhow, love both your channels. Keep up the great work.
Warren ... this is very true. People “say” they care and want to hear and help. Until you actually reach out. They’ll listen a little but only a little and then it’s like “dude, you’re supposed to have your sh*t together by now, wtf is WRONG with you???”
@@BeeBeeMacGee hello thanks for reply always nice to receive a reply from someone I'm kinda shy really and not that good with strangers I just sometimes can get myself to write in the comments but I always watch and look forward to kati s video s I struggle on and off with my health so I come here and meeting new people is nice too in off now as late in uk nice to of met you🖐🙂
Due to the nature of the topics we are discussing, this video is deemed not monetizable by TH-cam. If you would like to support the creation of my content, and only if you are able to, please consider becoming a patreon patron here www.patreon.com/katimorton Thanks, everyone & I hope your day is going well!
therapy is for the spineless n weak. She caters to these sheep n collects a check. Her mortgage is payed off the backs of the weak. No self reliance today. Sean needs to be her priority. Id walk if i was him.
It says your a marriage and family therapist not a psychologist or psychiatrist and so you like to read from a book what your saying people wake up don't watch the video get the same book look for yourself god helps those that helps themselves 🙏
Thank you so much for answering my question Kati!!!! (I'm #8) I cried during your whole answer 😩 that's the most validation I have EVER gotten about my mom
You mean ‘our’ mom. We just established Monday that we’re long lost siblings. 😆💜💚
My_Butt haha yes!! 😘
I loved your question. I could relate so much to it too. You are definitely not alone and your feelings are definitely valid. So thanks for asking it on behalf of so many people.
I related to this too, so thank you for asking this question Kaydee! ☺️
@@BeeBeeMacGee ♥️
Timestamps:
3:20 Hi Kati - can you please talk about ways on how to communicate our needs and hurts to our friends without feeling like an exposed nerve when we do it?
10:30 What do you recommend for those who tend to isolate themselves when they’re feeling down or depressed? I push everyone I know away, and ultimately it...
16:31 Hey Kati I am well into my 30s now but still, feel stuck in a very childlike brain. I feel very incapable of doing adult things...
26:51 Hi Kati, how is it 'normal' to want your therapist to worry about you? I certainly don't exaggerate my issues but I just constantly crave her attention and it makes me feel heard and seen. It also just makes me feel like my eating disorder is more 'real' if...
34:14 Hi Kati! I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to stop having intrusive memories. I’ve always looked at past memories with a feeling of dread because I would always recall memories with...
41:34 Hi Kati, what can we do when positive coping skills just feel too exhausting, too much, too uncomfortable, and too boring? I feel like there is so much I need to do to keep my physical and mental health and I think I really resent it. I feel like a lot of coping skills I am told feel like...
45:53 Hi Kati! What is the difference between dissociation and brain fog? I often (most of the time) feel cut off from the world and unable to take in reality. I "zone out", especially when overstimulated, and I'm not sure what I'm...
51:43 Hi Kati, can you talk about having an emotionally unintelligent parent and how that might affect us? I have been going to therapy for about 4 months now and know now that my mom is emotionally unintelligent. She can be very...
1:00:16 Hi Kati - I'm a sexual abuse survivor who is currently in therapy. I've addressed the trauma, confronted my abuser, and gotten rid of the triggers that used to occur during sex itself, but I still have one nagging issue that I can't seem to get rid of...
1:08:42 What does it mean when my therapist asks me to imagine or think back to something, and I can only think about the fact that I need to imagine or think back to something?
1:11:38 Hey Kati! How do therapists feel when a client tells you that they are having suicidal thoughts?
Yay thanks
Thank you!
I was JUST going to ask for this! 🙏
Thank you ♥️
This was one of the BEST podcasts ever! Sometimes I skip a lot of these because many of the topics aren't relevant to me. This episode, however! Wow!
yes!! prioritize your own mental health we will always be here and take as long as you need :)❤️
About isolating, I do that as well, but the worst thing for me is when people push and won't leave me alone because they think they know better and I'd feel better if I just pushed through and socialised anyway. I heard that growing up all the time, and am only now beginning to be honest with myself about what I want and need. Some of my friends get it, but others seem determined to "fix" me so I'll return to what I used to be. That can be very frustrating.
Kati, YOU are that spark for soo many of us!! ❤❤
I’ve needed these AKA videos...
I confronted my parents a few days ago about their behaviors, trying to set up good boundaries. It didn’t go well. But your videos are helping me feel grounded, understood, and not so...alone. Thank you.
my family who i cu tlose after years of communication an lies and abuse and failuires and i was the happy one the healthy one. so four years ago an event tookplae to undermine me of my happy and healthy and for four years no on asked or ared what this meant and they ran over me deaf ear me to have me mentally il.. after four years of every trick in devils book induce on me startin with a man take me from 24 year of happy and a trick used on me to induce instant mentall death on me. then i was sexually insulted while i lost control of my ife and was put in places to destroy my talent life that would never happen uniless this was done to me to f uck me up. i was to guarded with m life to wise and for four years. i was toture and dosed with all evil and not given the first aid. my ties to god were removed and i was toss back into a family brain damage and in need of fast medical care to prvent permanent loss of life and health and was ignored again smae way. and insulted as having left them and got even. my life is now a nothign worthess trash.. and i fought but did not make it.
It always blows my mind when twice a week therapy is mentioned, because where I live in upstate NY you have to fight to even be able to have a once a week appointment! Every other week is almost all that therapists ever have available.
thank you for making these podcasts. I found them a few days ago and now listen to one of them every day and I feel so validated and just like you are allowing me to feel whatever it is, that my experiences are okay and that I am not alone and somebody understands and doesn't judge me for my mental illnesses ♥♥♥
It's already felt like a long time since the last one, so I'm glad this new one came out!
In terms of being resilient, my therapist has told me that I’m resilient and “rising through the ashes.” To me, describing someone as being resilient can potentially be toxic...like we’re expected to celebrate and be happy of how we came out of our struggle. For me, as someone who has experienced trauma, my “resiliency” is more of surviving, because recovery is hard as hell, and even exhausting.
I feel this so much! I’m not getting though life without having to pay a price on my mental health or on knowing and feeling who I actually am. - I suppose it would make a change, if I changed my understanding of resiliency to a more self caring definition instead of a definition of toughening up and shutting emotions down.
I'm the one with the sixth question. And yes, I kind of know I need more help, but my biggest issue is that trying to communicate is what is most exhausting for me personally. Like, a lot of the time doing a thing is much less stressful then asking a person to do the thing for me, because I need to explain, and that's really stressful to think about the words of things I just do. I always feel like I put so much effort into communicating and explaining and get so little out of it. Also with inpatient treatments, I got trauma from my first one and got retraumatized at the day care treatment I had last year.
I've been thinking about that a service dog would probably provide me with the support I need, but I kind of doubt that getting one will be doable for me, and I always think so much that "oh, I'm sure I don't need one because I will sure be better soon".
Toni that really was a brilliant analogy and it explains exactly how I feel too. 💕
@@EllieGrant1 Thank you.
Maybe use bridge statements about getting a service dog? We got tw cats one/two years ago respectively, after our kids asked for them for years, and I've been surprised how much joy they give me, and help lessen my anxiety. You can keep the dog even if you get better. I think a pet is great! AND I'm so happy your question got picked, I loved it and related so much, and Kati's answer was so helpful! 😊
@@_maia_m Glad you liked the question. What do you mean about bridge statements? Like, what kind of bridge statement and how is that going to help my financial situation/living situation/studying situation/the time I can give? I kind of don't get it. I'm also not sure if I'm actually allowed to have a pet in our flat, and I'd probably have real trouble finding one when I move with a pet, and if I get better I probably really have trouble like I can't leave a pet alone for so long at home.
@@toni2309 Oh, I misunderstood, I thought you just weren't sure if you could/should have one if you got better soon. Like, "I want one but I'm not sure if I should". Bridge statements aren't relevant to those other obstacles of course, I'm sorry.
Thanks for being so honest, Kati. It is very helpful xx
You are so welcome!
Kati Morton hello really have been waiting all day for this podcast really not sure what time these are upload I'm here and glad I finally received my notification seriously needed this I wrote a question really hoped I'd get some help and advice I really haven't felt good hopefully next time I am listening to your nice calming voice and very helpful advice good questions s this week its late here in UK 10:30 pm but sticking with the podcast I'll always continue to stay with your channel sending love kati❤
I haven't even watched it yet but I already know this is what i need!
These videos are so helpful, because I do not have a positive support system at this time and can't afford a therapist. I have also gone to some bad therapists in the past. I had one that told me I had ADD and tried to charge me for appointments I didn't make. One helped me to leave my ex, but would bad mouth her daughter, told me she would stop seeing patients that wouldn't follow her advice and suggested I join a commune.
I am working on getting over my agoraphobia on my own and taking what works for me from online videos. I have found agoraphobia has been a way to plan my day, since I am now alone and am used to being codependent on others. I only know how to do things when I have work I have to do or someone to tell me what I should be doing. I am learning to trust myself more than others, because I am realizing that those close to me have only been given me advice that is in their best interest, not mine.
Unfortunately, my family will help only on their terms and expect compliance and an enmeshed relationship in return. I grew up very easy going and malleable, so I tend to attract people who are controlling and like that I can be manipulated. I'm codependent so I can only focus on a few relationships at a time, so I end up with few friends. I have had to start all over, left my toxic job and ex, and am limiting conversations with my family.
I have just realized that someone I thought was a good friend is now not so much once I started sticking up for myself more. I should have known in the beginning when she told me to f off when I said I thought she looked like an actress that she thought was ugly. I cried because she caught me off guard. She said I was too sensitive and didn't understand her passionate way of communicating. I stuck around because I thought she ultimately had my back because she would often praise me and always said how much she appreciated me because I was a good listener. Now I look back and realize she really wasn't ever there for me emotionally and we mostly did things on her schedule where I was often waiting around for her.
I have also recognized that I have some long distance friends that I rarely talk to but have a relationship more based on healthy mutual respect. This helps me to know I have people out there that appreciate me for who I really am, not just when I'm agreeable. I now use these healthier friendships as a template for any future relationships I plan on making.
Wow, there are so many questions which are really relevant to me. Very thankful that those have been answered.
just quit my full time job today, and it was really hard. these podcasts help. hopefully i can ask a question one day- but take ur week off kati! thank you for all the time and thought you put into these episodes!
Question 7 reminds me of exactly the questions I was asking before I got my autism spectrum disorder diagnosis. Sometimes there is just too much information for me to process and I have to shut it out. I get quite sleepy and shut down. It looks a lot like dissociation sometimes. The difference, for me, was that it was an accumulation of little things I found overwhelming rather than a single triggering moment. It gets worse with burnout, too. Maybe have a look at sensory processing disorder and see if anything there makes sense to you? The best strategy I found was to remove the stressors I could (I.e. fond a familiar place, switch the lights off, cuddle under a weighted blanket, listen to music so I can't hear annoying noises, etc. ) and just wait. I hope that helps.
I just had my first session since the pandemic started and it was exactly like the pot on the stove example. Such relief. 💕 we got this y’all
Take that Break, Kati! Much love your way, thanks for reminding us to listen to our body💓
So true..the looking for validation everywhere. If only the parental units stepped up.
Just the questions i need to be answered!
I always think your chapstick is a glue stick when you first whip it out 😂
This was a good watch while driving back home to England from our holiday in South Wales 🤗
Meetup is a good app for people to use to meet people and share a purpose. I started it last month and it's been nice meeting different people!
Love to listen to you talking! You are awesome!
I absolutely hate having dissociation! It’s like experiencing a dream like state to me and watching myself outside my self. I have many health issues going on and live with my very emotionally bad verbally and spiritually abusive husband in a long term marriage. 😢
OH. MY. GAWD.
It was as if someone read my mind, and posted my questions....not only that, i felt like you could have been talking straight to me while answering. You made me cry. You validated my feelings and state of emotionality .
I just began schema therapy. I'm confused, I dont like it, I feel like it's not the right fit for me. I cant be totally open and transparent yet. I dont trust or talk about my feelings easily. WHY? WHY IS THIS SO DAMN HARD??????
Does anyone else have supportive and caring friends, like the ones who always try their best and take time for you, who however upon telling them something that is bothering you or that is really important to you or something that has been on your mind and you need someone to talk to say that they don't know how to respond, need some time off to process it because it's too much for them, or kind of just say oh yeah but look on the bright side... ?
Yes sometimes they dont know what to say but I dont blame them because sometimes I have difficulty knowing what to say as well when someone opens up to me...it might help to let them know more specifically what sort of help u are looking for. Like letting them know if u are looking for advice or their opinion or just someone to listen.
Watching this in tears feeling sucidcal, getting no where with help, shout are not getting back to me and I just feel so alone
Hi Gemma. I’ve been there. More than willing to listen to what it feels like for you. Please share a bit? Or a lot?
And i can’t wait to finish it
Kati, you're such a gem!!
Ahhhh Kati thank you so much for answering my question so thoughtfully :) your answer was so helpful and it made my day xoxo
A bit of an excessively elaborate response to question number 7 (thank you for answering!!!): Yes, I have been feeling particularly stressed and anxious for quite a while now, and I definitely do feel tired and have trouble concentrating, which points towards brain fog. But sometimes (usually when I'm in a stressful situation/ overthinking/in a place with lots of stimuli) I feel like my mind loses contact with either the world or my body (or both); I feel like I'm "disappearing". I have felt like I wasn't really speaking when I really was, like I wasn't controlling my own voice. My memories are usually vague but not completely absent. I've pretty much daydreamed through my teenage years and, although I don't really do that anymore, I always find it very difficult/almost impossible to feel present. Whenever I "space out" I tend to be a lot more careless because I want to feel present. I don't like it at all. Perhaps some people here can relate?
I relate a lot to your experience. And for me, I think, it has to do a lot with sensory processing disorder and me learning to zone out and flee into my head in order to cope with my sensorily overwhelming environment. I have heard that being forced to stay in sensorily overwhelming environments for SPD people *can* be traumatic.
For me personally, what Kati explained hasn't been very true to my experiences. I have had brain fog because of neck issues and had a lot of memory issues then, but that definitely wasn't dissociation because it was like a physical thing that got better with heat and exercise and grouding didn't work and it was not trauma induced and stress had some effect but wasn't all. My brain fog I would explain as like not being able to hold more than one thought. Like there's a lot of fog in your head and as soon as I grasp a new thought the other one is gone.
On the other hand I have experiences where grounding works and it really feels like I'm kind of super spaced out and far away and it kind of brings me back into my body, but the physical experience is very similar to brain fog, I do feel very dizzy, but in addition my body feels a bit "nonexistant". So like, to me those felt very similar actually and I can't even always distinguish.
When I was really stressed out I have experienced a state where I felt really like everything was a dream and lights looked different and it really felt like time was jumping and I have heard an explanation of derealization that went a lot like that.
But when I had a traumatic incident or when I am remembered of trauma my memory is actually quite okay. I just feel like I don't really have a body but I'm a spectator kind of controlling my body from far away.
And when I'm overstimulated I kind of blank out a lot of sensory experience. I kind of only focus on very few things and everything else is a blur. I find it pretty similar to my trauma experiences because there, too, I don't really feel my body much.
Hi, I can totally relate. I still struggle with this, but it got much better after I realized what it means. I feel like when people say "dissociation", they imagine a very drastic state (like leaving your body) but don't realize that for some people it can take this low-level chronic form that bothers you 24/7. I daydreamed through childhood too :) I was absolutely convinced I had the best childhood ever until I got into therapy and explored all these symptoms. Then I realized my childhood was actually full of very traumatizing events that I just tried very hard not to think about. So that's my experience. Hope this helps :)
@@toni2309 Thanks so much for your response! I definitely am more sensitive to some types of sensory information (mostly sounds and bright light but also internal stimuli like excessive worry) so what you're saying does make sense to me. I definitely think that it's connected to what I experience.
@@betkavargova5900 Thank you!! This definitely does help, because you're right, it does feel like a constant low-level kind of dissociation. I've been on the waiting list to get into therapy for several months so I'm hoping I'll figure it out soon. :)
I love you so much, you always come up with awesome videos 💜💜💜
Milena milena .hello like the comment and agreed about kati shes very calming take care stay safe hope you remember me eathier way it's fine I remember you from other kati podcast s seeyou again next time 🙂🖐
I love the questions thanks for people who asked and thank you for being great and helpful and answering, very helpful ♥️. Also I am so excited about your new book
Just want to add listening to the question s asked and all your answers was very calming it's always good to be able to understand a certain health problem even when you don't suffer from it lastly question number I think its 11 last question was honestly good to hear your answer s also could relate to because iv had on and off bad thoughts in my head uncomfortable and I on and have to question my thoughts I understand and know what's like because even when I don't want the nasty suicidal thoughts I still sometimes get them when I'm feeling very depressed take care people in the comments and thanks kati for your important information x
Nikki,
I often read your comments and hope that you are okay. I'm glad that this wonderful community and Kati's expertise can offer you some understanding and relief. I hope that it reminds you in your "darker" hours that you are not alone and that you are an important part of our global community. You matter and we want you here for a very long time. Take care of yourself x
@@duck7237 hello and thank you for your reply and such caring comforting comment so often nobody says anything to me it's really nice to receive your comment thanks again for letting me know I'm wanted here and I matter I suffer from depression and anxiety and its honestly hard for me to reach out and talk to anyone nice to meet you here perhaps we will meet again on another kati video you reached out to me and I'm thankful 🙂
@@nikkimckay860 hi Nikki. I apologise for my belated response. I'm madly working my way through a list of projects before I have to take more time off for yet another surgery. Thanks for your lovely reply. I'm sorry that you are struggling with anxiety and depression; they are such insidious diseases. I also have anxiety and I am often shocked by how debilitating it can become without much warning. That dark world that we sometimes slip into can be such a terrifying place to exist within. The worst thing about it is that we inevitably end up there, in that scariest place, completely alone. I struggle quite a bit opening up too much with those closest to me, so I take a lot of comfort from the Kinions and the rest of Kati's online community. We are all dealing with some dark shit and it's a helpful reminder that we are never truly alone. No matter how it feels sometimes. Take care of yourself, Nikki. You are an integral part of our wonderful, little community. And even if you don't always get a response to your posts, be sure that somebody has read it and related to it and cared. Sending love friend x
I can relate to question number 2! Glad you answered it
Yay I live for these podcasts!
32:14 for the question about brain fog 😊
I always love your podcasts. Almost always watch them right away. So good. Also the "Kids in the Hall" thing at the end was the best. I used to do that all the time lol
Thank you for your videos. I've been misdiagnosed as having the bipolar dissorder, then rediagnosed as having borderline personality dissorder, PTSD, ADD.
I still wonder if there's something else I'm dealing with.
I drift off much of the day and have to 'ground' myself somehow. I always feel like I'm not really here. I'm exhausted most of the day, but I get enough sleep so I don't understand. It's been this way all my life. I just thought struggling through daily exhaustion was normal.
I'm quiet about all of this to the outside world and am a pro at knowing and making the 'correct' normal happy response. Responding like this is like second nature, but it's not at all how I am in the inside.
It's very hard to find a specialist in this area. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Maybe another thought of what's going on with me?
I'm sorry for writing a book here. I'm just tired of being tired and not normal. I have no close friends and distance myself from family not realizing it.
I don’t have an answer for you, but I have Borderline too. I’m tired nearly all day. No matter how long I sleep, I never feel rested. I was googling this exact thing today and wondering if there’s some relation between fatigue and bpd. I also feel very floaty and zone out. That is a symptom of bpd as well. So if it helps, I think the things you’re describing do fit well with bpd and I go thru them as well. Either way I hope you find some kind of peace!
2:50 Kati, you filter to top comments and those are the most liked
I really appreciated your answer to question nr 9, so thank you for answering it, Kati, and thank you to the person who asked this question! I could relate to do much of this. I was sexually abused at the same age, and it makes sense that you get stuck at that age sexually in many ways when you haven't been able to develop your sexuality at your own pace. I never thought about it that way before, but it definitely fits to my experience as well. I really can't wait for your trauma book, Kati, I look do much forward to it!
I didn’t understand much but it cheered me up enormously
This comment made me so happy 💛
Great video!!!
Your bear song is better than mine. I say, when you're going through hell, keep going. Not my words, but so true.
Being worried about makes me uncomfortable and frightens me a bit. I know exactly why this happens, but I just wanted there to be someone here expressing a different perspective.
I do have more brain fog or feels like slog in the bog and is that a frog oh wait I'm rambling. I blame 2020.
I agree 🙃😊
¹
wow, thanks for this video. perfect timing.. in my country i’m not really bothered with covid. however, feeling like burning out and dissociating and looking to cope
i love all of your videos btw. thanks and take care. take your time :)
I as a transmasculine Agender individual sex is so intimidating regardless of having a kid and been with my partner for 2+ years and now have come completely shut down and disassociating during sex its so disheartening.
Yay, another Russian speaking in the community, it’s truly global :)
Woooo! So exciting. Big hugs to you from Russia, Kati. You’re amazing! ☺️
High five!
I was going to write a comment like that :)
Hi, Kati! Could you please talk about gender disphoria? I'm a girl who's always wanted to be a guy, but I'm not trasgender, and when thinking about transforming, I don't want to do that. And when I think about being born a guy on the first place, I think that in that case that wouldn't be me, I wouldn't have been myself then. So I kinda like ME, a person I am, who I am, but I still want to be a guy. I feel so comfortable wearing men's clothes, not shaving, and when I drew beard and moustache it felt so right. So I'm torned! Any advice how to deal with that?
It sounds like you should just be a masculine girl. You could Defintely try doing drag
Hey Kati, I have been recently diagnosed with PTSD but I've been having issues taking my psychologists advice of being around friends. I find that I don't let myself "rot" in my depression when I keep regular hang out with friends. In Pre-Covid times i was having a hard time because i just don't have the right friends to hang out I love talking to them when I can but I think my PTSD symptoms are too much for them so I've become that touch and go friend to keep data distance, is this fixable? Can I fix these relationships and how do I so?
if your friends are not there they are not your friends . take hold of god. use the self isolation as good and get a way to better. and remove them.
Who else went back and held your breath just to hear him sneeze lmao 44:10
I am SO exited for the book, ALSO hahahaha that was FUNY 😆 a podcast with sounds of sleeping. Sometimes I joke that Sia (the singer) and literally sing ahhh ahhh ahh and I would buy tickets for just that LOL cause she’s so talented!!!
Kati Morton thank you for answering my comment I made on question 5 regarding confidentiality. I really wish you can maybe do another video on confidentiality because not every therapist in America is same basic prinicples rules of confidentiality as you do. Every therapist has a right to say what is a limit of confidentiality and is a big reason why do not seek therapy at all and do not trust therapists at all. What is the point of therapy if therapy cannot be guaranteed confidential at all? It never seems like a safe place to talk about anything. What is the point of therapy if there is limits to confidentiality. Some people may not even seek therapy for this reason even! If it was safe, then I can visit any therapist and speak everything on my mind. I still use the crisis text line as a resort when I am in despair and those people there are very understanding and I keep myself anonymous so I do not get my name taken down. I also resort to suicide hotlines because i feel like there it is a safe place to talk about anything. I do have friends I can trust with my secrets in times of distress or despair as emergency crisis friends to reach out to. However,I am still afraid to try going to therapy because I shopped around many therapists and it still seems like it is not a guaranteed safe place to speak your mind of at all. My therapist long ago only would (had not to officially ever actually, knock on wood) report me if I was homicidal or suicidal in my country (which made it why I can tell her anything), but here in America, it does not seem extremely safe to speak your mind to therapists at all. To me it seems like, if you are stressed do not ever see a therapist, do NOT trust in therapists at all, do not see them, they seem to make things more complicated than good if you had to even speak or talk to them. I would still panic to even see one. Honestly, they cost too much money to see and it is a waste of money in my opinion, because you said in your Google Talks for your book that the goal of therapy is to get you to the point where you do not need it anymore. You can easily talk to your mates than speaking to a therapist, because your mates can give you sound advice that a therapist can also give you.
I can't believe I did know about this channel!
About second question, what about people who don't have friends, but family members were actually responsible, they were the trigger of a mental breakdown?
Hi Katie, I just started therapy of 2 sessions, and I feel like he hates me and judging me. Am I imagining it and maybe I should Not go back? I feel like I’m annoying 😢 and can’t talk about myself. Does he hate me? What should I do? I felt last time, that I’m waiting my time and money.
I also say There's no crying in baseball. Mostly because I want to be able to breathe through my nose. I can still feel without crying.
Not so good this month and year I recently had a family emergency and my poor therapist called me on Tuesday to see how I was doing and then on her day off she had a session with me
1:08:43 Aphantasia exists, isn't very well-known and isn't generally thought to be a trauma response.
Can you please talk about PNES because people have bullied me for this and not a lot of people know what it is and I think it should be spoken about!
could you do a video on cptsd. id like to learn the differences between ptsd
If you go to the TH-cam search bar, type in "Kati Morton CPTSD" you will find what you are looking for :)
Still watching the rest of the video, but the end of your response to #7 gave me pause, I have been noticing lately something that happens to me a lot; when I am feeling a certain way, be it depressed, happy, despair, angry, or pick another major mood, I have a difficult time accessing memories from when I was in a different mood, I have full access to all the memories of that mood, but remembering things from a different mood is foggy and takes immense effort and sometimes accessing those memories can launch me into that other mood, occasionally I can use this to get out of a funk, but more often it leads me into depression, is this a variant of dissociation?
ive been on my own for years how do you break the cycle i know its slowly killing me
I like your shirt.
42:05 what was that? Sean, bring high shelf back!
Oh no! No time stamps yet...
Same. I only have a few minutes and was going to listen to certain questions until I can watch the whole thing later.
25:28 "it's me, it's not you"
since yawns are pretty contagious things, you are a little bit wrong here.
25:39 no! it's not a good answer! what morning news? we need a link!
???
@@kelsieskiles2412 isn't it fascinating how world is full of mysteries? maybe we'll solve them all one day and world will become pretty boring place.
Kati- can the thoughts like described happen with Borderline PD?
With the sex differences you mentioned, it has much more to do with socialization and how other people treat you, *not* genetic makeup
4:38 - nobody gives a damn how a white man in his 50s "feels". We just gota keep going, pushing any pain down. Anyhow, love both your channels. Keep up the great work.
Hey.
It's not your fault. It's okay.
Warren ... this is very true. People “say” they care and want to hear and help. Until you actually reach out. They’ll listen a little but only a little and then it’s like “dude, you’re supposed to have your sh*t together by now, wtf is WRONG with you???”
The courage to what? Workbook?
❤️❤️❤️
Kati do your headphones squish your head? What do they feel like? Do they hurt or are they soft???
Hello good evening people how are you all what are times where you are from 🖐
It would have been 17:38 here in my time zone when you posted.
💜💚
@@BeeBeeMacGee hello thanks for reply always nice to receive a reply from someone I'm kinda shy really and not that good with strangers I just sometimes can get myself to write in the comments but I always watch and look forward to kati s video s I struggle on and off with my health so I come here and meeting new people is nice too in off now as late in uk nice to of met you🖐🙂
When you posted, it was around 6:20pm!
Hi Katie,help me! My closest family members political views are opposite than mine and like you say " it's shit"
I don’t cry- until I blow up. Don’t like people to see
Why did you clap 😂😂
Due to the nature of the topics we are discussing, this video is deemed not monetizable by TH-cam. If you would like to support the creation of my content, and only if you are able to, please consider becoming a patreon patron here www.patreon.com/katimorton Thanks, everyone & I hope your day is going well!
🤓👏🏼😄
I'd worry more abt Sean's needs than using him as a camera man ...way to go
Whaaaaa?
therapy is for the spineless n weak. She caters to these sheep n collects a check. Her mortgage is payed off the backs of the weak. No self reliance today. Sean needs to be her priority. Id walk if i was him.
It says your a marriage and family therapist not a psychologist or psychiatrist and so you like to read from a book what your saying people wake up don't watch the video get the same book look for yourself god helps those that helps themselves 🙏