I tripped over a Tony Attwood video about three weeks ago, then more of his videos, then onto Paul’s, I believe I can confidently self diagnose and say I’m Aspie. I’m in tears with this video, thank you. It’s such a relief and explains so much, but I can also forgive what I saw as personality faults and continue the work I have done all my life (to mask) but not carry the condemnation I had. 🧡🧡🧡
Thanks for this. My parents described the thought processes as having a 'butterfly mind' as I jumped so fast from one topic to another apparently unrelated one but there is always a train of thought to follow.
Yeah that's a good way to think about, nice name. I used to be told that it was confusing how I would jump from one thing to another. Somebody from my work would say u r so random and I felt kinda bad, made me feel like I should keep things to myself unfortunately
What an incredibly insightful person, thank you for sharing your story Krishna. I can fully relate to your struggles of being told ASD considered a "Hip" diagnosis, knowing that they don't see the cognitive effects underneath. But, overall it sounds like it is never too late for anyone on the spectrum to learn about why they are, the way they are, and obtain a diagnosis.
My reserved emotions I think of as containment because expressing deeply meaningful emotions are overwhelming. My autism very much contributed to my being successful in the world of work. Not that there weren't issues. However, how I looked at the world and problems was often different compared to those around me and my ability to quickly come up with solutions was appreciated.
Yeah, I'm an Aspie mother of 4 who also holds a MA in Counseling. I definitely think that there are great strengths in my parenting skills that are there primarily because I'm an Aspie. Some of those strengths are that I have a very consistent daily routine at home, we have clearly established rules/expectations for the kids, and those rules are consistently enforced. Being clear and consistent encourages a feeling of emotional security in children, especially young children. To me this is super easy to do because that's the way my brain is wired, but I have found from listening to other parents that a lot of people find being consistent as a parent to be very difficult.
Yes! I need to organize by myself! That’s one of my form of self entertainment. Now that my SO understands this we can do our own special interests in peace on the weekends. Especially with noise cancelling headphones or music to block out her football games that I detest. I love that she doesn’t freak out anymore because she feels guilty for not helping me. Help isn’t wanted. She has said she can’t understand how anyone enjoys what I do for fun because to her it’s unpleasant chore work she loathes doing. I reciprocally can not understand how anyone likes football. Three hours of it. It’s beyond boring to me except for moments I notice in passing that there’s a pile of players that got really big or a shocking agility display. It’s noise is the worst besides aircraft noise.
I can really relate to what Krishna has described and would love to hear more about her experiences pre and post diagnose. So many questions I would love to ask her. Maybe a live stream would be great?
What a lovely lady. Her story resonates with so many of us. Tony Attwood is doing great work. She inspires me that I may well end up successful and happy and accepting!
Thank you! Your videos? Sensitive and informative. Interesting. Validating. Love this one! Have you encountered autistic families? Mom & Dad & their children? The mental health community seems unprepared for recognizing autistic reality. Thank you for your really wonderfully helpful work.
Thanks for the conversation! I found it so interesting. Just as an FYI, I prefer that when my husband is "recharging" on his phone, he go to a different room. It's too difficult for me and the kids to see him there physically, but not mentally. We just don't know how to handle it, is it okay to ask something, is he trying to ignore me or is he just checking something, do I need to keep everything quiet not to disturb him, etc. So if he's gone, I'd rather he be completely gone, so that when he's back, it's a clear signal that it's okay to talk to him, etc. But I don't know how to say that without hurting his feelings, so I am telling you instead, haha! Edited to add: this is the case only when I need him to be "on". It's fine if he needs to take a break, but it needs to be clear to everyone that it's a temporary break and then he will resume his responsibilities. After the kids are in bed, or on a lazy day, it's wonderful to hang out together, but not talking. Maybe I'm reading and he's playing a computer game and we're by ourselves together. That's really nice, but when I feel like he's shrugging the burden of conversation or childcare onto my shoulders to take a rest, I'm okay with that but don't want it to be in front of me, especially if I am not even sure if that's what he's doing.
My husband has said: is that autism speaking or my wife speaking or action and I say: is that nt speaking or my husband? And he got the point straight away. My husband is a big joker and despite the years we have been together, I still take him at face value and causing a lot of issues.
All of my life, I too thought that everyone else thought the same way as I do, but I thought that maybe I just needed more self-discipline, so that I don't react to anything around me (because for some reason, it seems to upset people if you react in any way; whether I suddenly start laughing my head off about something that looks mundane to others, or whether I am deeply hurt from somebody doing something that is so inconsiderate). Watching this interview made me truly realize that a normal brain doesn't typically magnify everything (because I can totally relate to how having one thought balloons into many other thoughts and worries, which was why I would always try to avoid negative thoughts).
"I don't have difficulties because I'm stupid; I have them because those abilities simply don't exist in my world." Exactly! An autistic person has to use extremely intelligent 'patch-ins' for practically required abilities; but no replacement is as good as the real thing, so despite our being technically competent, people still notice.
can relate as someone a much older female only just diagnosed and gives an acceptance of the differences we have try to cope with. Tony Attwood triggered awareness for me also. Lovely information and excellent interview. Not a deficit, as we do think everyone thinks like that, and that also gave me confidence in myself, with less self judgements now. Thanks for the honesty.
@@autismfromtheInside I also would love to hear more from Krishna. For me she seems to be wise in a way and reconciled with herself and especially with her Autism, resting in herself (sorry about my english) and I think I could learn a lot from her. Thank you so much for your interviews and for your work for our community.
I have the experience of feeling like I am smiling however it doesn't show in my expression. This happens in photographs and I feel like I am grinning but I look stern. Do other people experience this?
Yeah. I call it my "Resting Autistic Face" - my neutral face is apparrently upset/furious. So you learn to mask - feels like you are beaming like an idiot - looks to NTs neutral
For a while now I've felt i'm on the spectrum, my whole life I've felt different not fitting in alot of pretending, which is so exausting. working with children in the spectrum have raised many ????? about myself, I'm in my mid fiftees. where do I start ,who do I go to for a diagnosis. Thank you so much for these videos. So helpful.
Im sick of it being invisible people dont understand im sick of the struggle im sick of being bullied im staying on my own im going to help autistic children ive tried to get on with n ts but cant
I tripped over a Tony Attwood video about three weeks ago, then more of his videos, then onto Paul’s, I believe I can confidently self diagnose and say I’m Aspie. I’m in tears with this video, thank you.
It’s such a relief and explains so much, but I can also forgive what I saw as personality faults and continue the work I have done all my life (to mask) but not carry the condemnation I had. 🧡🧡🧡
Thanks for this. My parents described the thought processes as having a 'butterfly mind' as I jumped so fast from one topic to another apparently unrelated one but there is always a train of thought to follow.
Yeah that's a good way to think about, nice name. I used to be told that it was confusing how I would jump from one thing to another. Somebody from my work would say u r so random and I felt kinda bad, made me feel like I should keep things to myself unfortunately
She gives me hope to have a family and be able to make contributions in this world.
I have a daughter. I find some things with parenting harder. And some things probably easier.
Glad you didn't cut this video. This was very insightful!
What a lovely lady, thank you for sharing your story with us, Krishna.
What an incredibly insightful person, thank you for sharing your story Krishna. I can fully relate to your struggles of being told ASD considered a "Hip" diagnosis, knowing that they don't see the cognitive effects underneath. But, overall it sounds like it is never too late for anyone on the spectrum to learn about why they are, the way they are, and obtain a diagnosis.
My reserved emotions I think of as containment because expressing deeply meaningful emotions are overwhelming. My autism very much contributed to my being successful in the world of work. Not that there weren't issues. However, how I looked at the world and problems was often different compared to those around me and my ability to quickly come up with solutions was appreciated.
Very nice interview! This lovely Lady is so lucky. She got diagnosed finally. I am happy for her.
Yeah, I'm an Aspie mother of 4 who also holds a MA in Counseling. I definitely think that there are great strengths in my parenting skills that are there primarily because I'm an Aspie. Some of those strengths are that I have a very consistent daily routine at home, we have clearly established rules/expectations for the kids, and those rules are consistently enforced. Being clear and consistent encourages a feeling of emotional security in children, especially young children. To me this is super easy to do because that's the way my brain is wired, but I have found from listening to other parents that a lot of people find being consistent as a parent to be very difficult.
Same. There is safety in consistent routine and structure. Without safety there’s no foundation for building other skills.
Great interview Paul! Asperger’s is our superpower!!
Yes! I need to organize by myself! That’s one of my form of self entertainment. Now that my SO understands this we can do our own special interests in peace on the weekends. Especially with noise cancelling headphones or music to block out her football games that I detest. I love that she doesn’t freak out anymore because she feels guilty for not helping me. Help isn’t wanted. She has said she can’t understand how anyone enjoys what I do for fun because to her it’s unpleasant chore work she loathes doing. I reciprocally can not understand how anyone likes football. Three hours of it. It’s beyond boring to me except for moments I notice in passing that there’s a pile of players that got really big or a shocking agility display. It’s noise is the worst besides aircraft noise.
Wow! Awesome interview. Thanks for posting.
How nice to not see it as a deficit. I have never heard that before.
I can really relate to what Krishna has described and would love to hear more about her experiences pre and post diagnose. So many questions I would love to ask her. Maybe a live stream would be great?
What a lovely lady. Her story resonates with so many of us. Tony Attwood is doing great work. She inspires me that I may well end up successful and happy and accepting!
Thank you! Your videos? Sensitive and informative. Interesting. Validating. Love this one! Have you encountered autistic families? Mom & Dad & their children? The mental health community seems unprepared for recognizing autistic reality. Thank you for your really wonderfully helpful work.
Thanks for the conversation! I found it so interesting.
Just as an FYI, I prefer that when my husband is "recharging" on his phone, he go to a different room. It's too difficult for me and the kids to see him there physically, but not mentally. We just don't know how to handle it, is it okay to ask something, is he trying to ignore me or is he just checking something, do I need to keep everything quiet not to disturb him, etc. So if he's gone, I'd rather he be completely gone, so that when he's back, it's a clear signal that it's okay to talk to him, etc. But I don't know how to say that without hurting his feelings, so I am telling you instead, haha!
Edited to add: this is the case only when I need him to be "on". It's fine if he needs to take a break, but it needs to be clear to everyone that it's a temporary break and then he will resume his responsibilities. After the kids are in bed, or on a lazy day, it's wonderful to hang out together, but not talking. Maybe I'm reading and he's playing a computer game and we're by ourselves together. That's really nice, but when I feel like he's shrugging the burden of conversation or childcare onto my shoulders to take a rest, I'm okay with that but don't want it to be in front of me, especially if I am not even sure if that's what he's doing.
My husband has said: is that autism speaking or my wife speaking or action and I say: is that nt speaking or my husband? And he got the point straight away.
My husband is a big joker and despite the years we have been together, I still take him at face value and causing a lot of issues.
Maybe if you talked it could easily be sorted, Suzanne Whitehead?
Very nice interview. My thanks to both of you. 🙂
"Wait. Isn't everybody like that?". I asked this question SO many times during my life, in so many situations...
I loved this interview. Thank you very much!
Yes I agree with this. I worked with disabilities too because I understand the way they are
Such a great interview: thank you. Helpful, insightful & reassuring. 👌💛✨
All of my life, I too thought that everyone else thought the same way as I do, but I thought that maybe I just needed more self-discipline, so that I don't react to anything around me (because for some reason, it seems to upset people if you react in any way; whether I suddenly start laughing my head off about something that looks mundane to others, or whether I am deeply hurt from somebody doing something that is so inconsiderate). Watching this interview made me truly realize that a normal brain doesn't typically magnify everything (because I can totally relate to how having one thought balloons into many other thoughts and worries, which was why I would always try to avoid negative thoughts).
Another excellent video. :)
Great video
Interviews are amazing!!! I learn so much
great woman. great interview. deeply touched. Thank you.
Enjoyed this interview, can relate alot.
Wonderful interview. Thank you both:)
Thanks for the comment! You're very welcome! :)
"I don't have difficulties because I'm stupid; I have them because those abilities simply don't exist in my world." Exactly! An autistic person has to use extremely intelligent 'patch-ins' for practically required abilities; but no replacement is as good as the real thing, so despite our being technically competent, people still notice.
What an amazing lady
Great interview, thanks!
Thank you
Great interview ... found out I'm as aspie at 60 !!
Would really love to hear more from this lady. Is that possible? Is she to be found online?
To my knowledge she doesn't have a blog or anything if that's what you mean.
What kind of 'more' are you wanting?
can relate as someone a much older female only just diagnosed
and gives an acceptance of the differences we have try to cope with.
Tony Attwood triggered awareness for me also. Lovely information
and excellent interview. Not a deficit, as we do think everyone thinks like
that, and that also gave me confidence in myself, with less self judgements
now. Thanks for the honesty.
@@autismfromtheInside I also would love to hear more from Krishna. For me she seems to be wise in a way and reconciled with herself and especially with her Autism, resting in herself (sorry about my english) and I think I could learn a lot from her. Thank you so much for your interviews and for your work for our community.
I have the experience of feeling like I am smiling however it doesn't show in my expression. This happens in photographs and I feel like I am grinning but I look stern. Do other people experience this?
Yeah. I call it my "Resting Autistic Face" - my neutral face is apparrently upset/furious. So you learn to mask - feels like you are beaming like an idiot - looks to NTs neutral
For a while now I've felt i'm on the spectrum, my whole life I've felt different not fitting in alot of pretending, which is so exausting. working with children in the spectrum have raised many ????? about myself, I'm in my mid fiftees. where do I start ,who do I go to for a diagnosis.
Thank you so much for these videos. So helpful.
Diagnostic paths are so different. Let's start with: which country are you in?
Hare Krishna- Krishna Devi Dasi!
Im sick of it being invisible people dont understand im sick of the struggle im sick of being bullied im staying on my own im going to help autistic children ive tried to get on with n ts but cant
ssssssssssssss............ffffffffffffffff.....great interview but holly cow did her voice's sibilance set me off