What to Say When an Elderly Parent Refuses Help
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ต.ค. 2024
- Tips from Nurse Attorney Carolyn Rosenblatt of AgingParents.com on what to do when your aging loved one refuses help. Use yourself as a reason for your parent to accept help.
This was of no help at all. The police call us all the time and all we can tell them is she refuses to sign a power of attorney so we have no power to help her. If we go to check on her, clean her home, paint, make repairs, etc. she accuses us of stealing from her.
I feel so sorry for you. It’s a terrible situation. If your parent isn’t senile, they have the right to live in squalor if they want to is the problem.
Similar issues here. Super frustrating.
Omg where are these parents who would want to help their children?
That will not work when a parent has become completely self centered.
Telling my mom that it would make it harder on us will just make her do it more. Right now she’s doing that to my dad. She refuses to put a walker or cain next to her bed so that she has to wake him up. And she does not have dementia. Spitefulness is part of her personality.
Exactly! My mother wants to punish me for not being her dog. Evil person she is. Stole my retirement money from me to give it to her conman neighbor.
My parents don't want to go to the doctor even though they are in pain
Always remember this too shall pass. And you will live a long time after your parents have passed. So don't do anything that you will spend the rest of your life regretting. Take one day at a time & put yourselves in their shoes. Go the extra mile.
This👆🏻
You are clueless
Every since my grandma came from the nursing home. My mom dont want to shower, brush her teeth. Go see the doctor. She bleeds when she have bowel movement. She watch my kids and my sisters . Im in college and work. No one but my uncle helps her. I help her on my days off. My other sisters dont helo at all they just sit there. I was taking care of my grandma until i went back to.. school. I told my mom to get an aid. She waited til last minute and all this pressure is on her. She losing weight and her hair is all over the place. Her husband don't even help her. My grandma has dementia and a stroke and she dont want to go back to nursing home
😢
Thank you.
i need to find help to keep my mother from being scammed by her own grandchildren who constantly make up horrible lies to get money.
Having the same problem; a great granddaughter and her husband live with my parents. I finally convinced Mom to quit paying for their groceries, car insurance, gasoline, etc.
My father fell and is in a nursing home far away; they won't even drive my mother to see him due to a large new puppy that destroys the home. When I come to pick her up for a trip to see Dad, I'm floored as to why Mom wants to have them take over the house, but expects others to mow the grass, clean their bathroom and cat boxes, etc. During my last visit I had to tell my mom that enough is enough! I love her but my suggestions are thought of as only wanting things my way (I've given much time and love into caring for both parents). My poor dad has no clue with his dementia; I'm saving up for Guardianship for him.
@@amys855 yep, my nephew brought a dog to my mom who was obviously sick and has been the whole time shes had him, but she refuses to surrender him for help because shes afraid my nephew will get mad. he has been to her house 3 times in 2 weeks, each time to get money and never offers to help bath the dog or any thing.
I am very much alone and don’t want to live like this anymore.
I can barely take care of myself and I’m stuck with an invalid who abuses narcotics.
I am not going to live this way.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If your parents want you to leave them alone then leave them alone. Parents you do have an option, if you have toxic relatives or kids who wish to control every aspect of your life when you're capable of having Independence get a power of attorney and cut them out of the loop legally. Protect yourself and protect your Independence. Start planning now while you're in your 50s and 60s. Learn who the toxic players are. Is there a nasty wicked relatives out there who would love to have conservatorship over your estate whether you need a conservator or not. Learn your red flags and learn your legal options and learn them now start documenting abuse on every level with these toxic people and get a restraining order if you have to.
Right!!!
This as good intention as it is was is no help at all.
I do not agree. Husband’s daughter tried that guilt trip on us to try to get us to move. We are not needing help and living just fine. Our wishes matter too! It CAN be more about control than wanting to help - not all family members are really making decisions based on parent’s wishes/needs.
trouble with audio?
So... nothing we can do.
I thought she was saying “ASIAN” parents instead of the obvious “AGING” parents lol made light of the sensitive subject at hand
I would never, ever take medications or see a doctor for the rest of my life because I don't want to end up getting alzheimer's or cancer and end up with all the suffering and wear a diaper. I want to live a long life but if I have to die earlier and instantly than to take medications to keep me living until it give me all those disease and bring me to hospice care or nursing home, I don't want that. Nobody wants that. If we have to die early that fast because we're not taking medications in the beginning as we gets older, it's a better choice. Believe me. Getting old sucks. I rather stay young, stay healthy and live a long life, not a short life medications would give me. It doesn't cure anything. It's all about money and Big Pharma.
No help Just a plug.
I have come to peace with simply respecting her wishes. She says she’d rather die than receive help. Ok then, your wish is my command.
I am going through this now. It’s hurtful
Same here. No more guilt. It is freeing.