The dismissive avoidant in my life certainly was a workaholic when we were married. Always working. Bringing work home. Interesting too that every affair she started was with people from her work too. What a life. Well, I'm glad that's behind me. I wish I'd found you sooner, Coach.
This is so true its like your talking about the man i was with... i wont call him an ex as he was an avoidant that never committed!! He did so much over time at work then went to the gym.. i only saw him 4 hours a day then off he went home again. And same routine again the next day and so on... he never changed.
Same here with my Father and my ex gf. Always taking on OT shifts, especially on holidays. I admire the hardworking character, but I’d prefer a partner that wants to spend some time at home and join in on family vacations
Yes. That best describes my avoidant ex. She's always working work work and work. She didn't even have the time for us. And what makes me sick is that I work fewer hours and make way more money than her, and yet I still have plenty of time doing nothing. She's very sick indeed.
My avoidant kept talking about being married and having kids. Kept hinting at me. Asked about my perspective on prenuptial agreements. I pointed out that he is a workaholic. He said he would make time for his family. I was hesitant about the idea of settling with him
It's called "future faking" when they keep you strung along with plans about the future, but can't actually show you in actions that there's a present. Definitely watch out for that. I have been there and done that.
@@tracym6652 run sis, lol. I wasted years for all those so called plans. Don't do that. They must show you NOW that they're investing WITH you. Good luck ❣️
What causes them to be the opposite of this? My avoidant ex always calls out to work for sillly reasons. He will no call /no show to shifts. The other day he left work after 1 hr because he quote, didnt feel well. When he IS at work, he doesnt get much done. Somehow the attendance policy hasnt caught up to him. 🙄
I think it's either one or the other. My DA partner works full time, but would work as little as possible if he had the choice. I'm the opposite. All I do is work. We're all different.
Coach, what you just explain does that applies to avoidants’ marriage ? I mean they can feel safe with the other half and not having the emotional distance right ?
They'd much rather work at a job than take on the real hard inner work of self reflection and self honesty/inquiry.
The dismissive avoidant in my life certainly was a workaholic when we were married. Always working. Bringing work home. Interesting too that every affair she started was with people from her work too. What a life. Well, I'm glad that's behind me. I wish I'd found you sooner, Coach.
My experience exactly! Working 12 hour shifts 6 days a week and would be happy to take on more. He worked to avoid having to deal with his issues….smh
This is so true its like your talking about the man i was with... i wont call him an ex as he was an avoidant that never committed!! He did so much over time at work then went to the gym.. i only saw him 4 hours a day then off he went home again. And same routine again the next day and so on... he never changed.
My exes alllll were "so busy" with work for "us" You can't build a future if you don't have a present.
My ex and dad are DAs and this spot on
Same here with my Father and my ex gf. Always taking on OT shifts, especially on holidays. I admire the hardworking character, but I’d prefer a partner that wants to spend some time at home and join in on family vacations
😂😂😂😂
Yup. This used to be me.
Yes. That best describes my avoidant ex. She's always working work work and work. She didn't even have the time for us. And what makes me sick is that I work fewer hours and make way more money than her, and yet I still have plenty of time doing nothing. She's very sick indeed.
How do you explain two siblings where one is avoidant and one is anxious?
The British rich and middle classes predominantly all bring their children up in this damaged way😢they see love as insignificant next to wealth❤
My avoidant kept talking about being married and having kids. Kept hinting at me. Asked about my perspective on prenuptial agreements. I pointed out that he is a workaholic. He said he would make time for his family.
I was hesitant about the idea of settling with him
It's called "future faking" when they keep you strung along with plans about the future, but can't actually show you in actions that there's a present. Definitely watch out for that. I have been there and done that.
@Kleef718 😮😮😮 omg. You are absolutely right. Thank you for that. My eyes are open even more
@@tracym6652 run sis, lol. I wasted years for all those so called plans. Don't do that. They must show you NOW that they're investing WITH you. Good luck ❣️
This is true
Exactly my ex boyfriend very successful workaholic crazy work trips but he was very generous heshh.
What causes them to be the opposite of this? My avoidant ex always calls out to work for sillly reasons. He will no call /no show to shifts. The other day he left work after 1 hr because he quote, didnt feel well. When he IS at work, he doesnt get much done. Somehow the attendance policy hasnt caught up to him. 🙄
maybe he just has ADHD
I think it's either one or the other. My DA partner works full time, but would work as little as possible if he had the choice. I'm the opposite. All I do is work. We're all different.
Coach, what you just explain does that applies to avoidants’ marriage ? I mean they can feel safe with the other half and not having the emotional distance right ?
trying to escape there wife or girlfriend! haha 😂
so accurate
Can an avoidant seam like an anxiously attached person at the start
Yup! Until their feelings come online and then they bail.
@dannywholuv thank you. This video describes a woman that dumped me a couple weeks ago when everything seamed great from my point of view
😂😂😂 Exactly yes!!
32 year marriage to a workaholic and drinking when he was home.
What happens when they lose their job?
suffering
Depression
They'll get other distractions dont worry.
...Infact do worry lol