Having to go through a breakup this is so comforting to hear all those emotions playing with me right now and making me feel insane... are actually something normal and instead of denying or fighting them, I better acknowledge and give them some room, too. Thank you for that coaches
You should always care about yourself. However, you should also be aware or not if your current partner has the capacity to change. Sometimes people are doing things they are unaware of. You should be looking at yourself and communicating with your partner. Too many people dont even try and give up way to fast. There are too many videos on youtube saying leave leave leave. We need more videos talking about how to solve problems. I just wanted to put that out there. This is a great video and extremely insightful. I just wanted to make sure people know about working on the relationship and not looking at leaving as the answer. If you love the person, you should be hesitant.
Craig can you do a video on an ex projecting their unmet needs onto their new partner. Thank you and Margaret for everything you do for all of us😊 y'all are amazing.
My parents got divorced when I was still a baby. The back/forth custody was very traumatic back then. Later I realised it heavily influenced my attachment style, which by no surprise is an anxious one. So dynamics such as push/pull in relationships trigger severe anxiety. And most recently, an out of the blue breakup really hurt (ex likely BPD/NPD). Feels more SEVERE than it would to a centered and 'secure' type of person.
Thanks, Craig & Margaret. I'm no longer in a relationship, but it's very applicable to my past relationship, which took time to understand & unravel from. This is very helpful. Thank you.
Matgaret and Craig! What a very timely issue! Thank you! I am dealing with it at the moment ... I can't believe am distraught by his over-texting and calling, when before there was none of that, and he is controlling and strange!
Yes this is true , I did think a few times to break it off with him . He was the one who did it , I believe in trying to work on it and don’t give up that easy .
nicole browne nicole, your willingness to stay amd work is admirable, and personally, i think its a much better quality than someone who walks away.....the reality is the other person could have stayed and tried to water the grass so it was greener with you, not on the other side
Stacey Swope - yeah but he seemed to be on and off . I stopped contacting him since his text last Sunday . Idk if it’s me wanting to have more contact and rushing or he is playing games.
nicole browne just a dudes opinion here but if youre not getting the amount of attention you want (within reason) you should probably tell the dude that OR move on....i.mean, i got dumped 2 months ago but the reality is the girl doesnt want me anymore SO i would respectfully say that if the dude cannot make up his mind OR gives you confliscting signals than it might be time to go
Hey coach great video! Your knowledge is always vast and interesting. I was wondering if you would be willing to make a video on the topic of living with you ex and dealing with their rebound? There are really no videos on this by respectable coaches.
great topic..she says she loves me more than anything..but my family ran her off...there was begging on my end..but I got smart, but have been in strict no contact for a month..her esteem is low..she left me for a guy fresh off the sex offender list..uggh!...we had broken up a year ago briefly..she dated another criminal briefly...she has low self esteem and is a professional as I am...but she took ZERO blame for this 6 year relationship failing..ishe was soo mean, and claimed i abandoned her because of her anger..afyer the fighting and her crying and my begging..m just gonna leave her be and hope maybe she will realize the good someday
These messages are always filled with pearls of wisdom. Thank you very much. I always approach my potential partners with three significant areas: 1) attraction, 2) chemistry, and 3) compatibility. If we make it to compatibility we are moving from dating to a relationship, This is really where the dance begins. Without building and maintaining attraction as the relationship grows boredom will set in and the dance will end. If the music stops; it is time to go. Do your best to keep the dance alive.
Need advice my x has moved on with another guy totally opposite of me and she is 25 he’s 23 lives at home with his parents I am 49 and successful she has been cheating behind his back with me she still has relationship with him dates goes out but hooks up with me for past three months she gets scared I moved on she even broke into my house to search it looking for other women and admitted to me I said she needs to end it with him or I am going to tell him the truth what’s been going on she gets scared and mad etc but I say how can this work with if your with me etc it’s crazy let’s fix this she just started going to therapy with me now he is oblivious to all this why won’t she end it with him why does she say she don’t want to I am lost can anybody give me advise I am lost and anxiety at omg high I feel like I am loosing her but I still feel she doesn’t want me gone anyone tell me what’s going on
Broken Soul listen man, I am in a situation currently where I would really love to hear from my ex-girlfriend, so I completely know what you're going through and how difficult it can be. The difference between our stories however, is that my ex-girlfriend did not cheat on me, or is not currently cheating on anyone with anyone else. I save this with as much love as possible, but if your ex is in a relationship with someone else, and is cheating on that person with you, the reality is that if the situations were reversed, she would probably be cheating on you with someone else too
buffdaddy4444 Yes it’s hard cause she was never like this at all before in the two years together it’s like she wants to get back with me but won’t make that step and end it with the other guy and he’s a real kid and has no clue what’s happening or why she’s doing it if she wants me back end it with this guy you can’t love him if your cheating on him I know I should run and not look back but she keeps sucking me in cause I can’t let her go I have lots of women asking me out etc but I am having a hard time moving on cause I haven’t let go I can’t figure out why everyone knows I am the better option then him and I was faithful etc to her I mean any women in her right mind can see what I offer as compared to this guy but still living in limbo and hate it but don’t wanna let go either
Broken Soul heres the thing my dude. Full disclosure, im 42 and recently single SO any advice i give i do so with a grain of salt BUT......heres the thing.....it seems to me she has her cake and is eating it too.....why choose when you dont have to???? She has the best of both worlds. It seems to me you are sendi ng her a message of what you are ok with.....your words are saying one thing but your actions are saying something else.....if it were me, i would tell her i love her BUT im unwilling to be in this scenario any longer and if you cut off contact with the other guy and want to get together, give me a call but until then please do not contact me you WILL be sending a very strong message.....if she doesnt want to do that, she doesnt love you enough to give you what you need, so why would you want that anyways?
And listen, again for full disclosure, I have been in the situation kind of similar what you're in before with previous girlfriends. And I wasn't always very strong about how I handled things, and the reality is, that when you allow someone to do things to you that devalue yourself, they whine up treating you accordingly. You need to send a very strong message about what you are okay with, or you can't be upset at them for not giving you exactly what you need. Your strength comes from your willingness to walk away. If you are unwilling to do that, you have very little strength, and they will treat you accordingly.
Yep. I grew up in a place where ppl tell me « if you get too educated you won’t find a man ». It took me in a very vicious, toxic, cycle.
Very insightful video, sadly made me very depressed thinking about my own relationship breakdown and why things went the way they did 😔
M H me too :(
Having to go through a breakup this is so comforting to hear all those emotions playing with me right now and making me feel insane... are actually something normal and instead of denying or fighting them, I better acknowledge and give them some room, too. Thank you for that coaches
You should always care about yourself. However, you should also be aware or not if your current partner has the capacity to change. Sometimes people are doing things they are unaware of. You should be looking at yourself and communicating with your partner. Too many people dont even try and give up way to fast. There are too many videos on youtube saying leave leave leave. We need more videos talking about how to solve problems. I just wanted to put that out there. This is a great video and extremely insightful. I just wanted to make sure people know about working on the relationship and not looking at leaving as the answer. If you love the person, you should be hesitant.
Craig can you do a video on an ex projecting their unmet needs onto their new partner.
Thank you and Margaret for everything you do for all of us😊 y'all are amazing.
I would like to see more on that as well.
Gr8 idea
My parents got divorced when I was still a baby. The back/forth custody was very traumatic back then. Later I realised it heavily influenced my attachment style, which by no surprise is an anxious one. So dynamics such as push/pull in relationships trigger severe anxiety. And most recently, an out of the blue breakup really hurt (ex likely BPD/NPD). Feels more SEVERE than it would to a centered and 'secure' type of person.
This video is sooo true. It's crazy how it works.
Can you do a video for the women on how to be his best option? I see you do have one for the men
Thanks, Craig & Margaret. I'm no longer in a relationship, but it's very applicable to my past relationship, which took time to understand & unravel from. This is very helpful. Thank you.
love the hair cut margaret. you are looking healthy! great information.
Matgaret and Craig! What a very timely issue! Thank you! I am dealing with it at the moment ... I can't believe am distraught by his over-texting and calling, when before there was none of that, and he is controlling and strange!
Margaret you are looking good, love your new hair style.
Yes this is true , I did think a few times to break it off with him . He was the one who did it , I believe in trying to work on it and don’t give up that easy .
nicole browne nicole, your willingness to stay amd work is admirable, and personally, i think its a much better quality than someone who walks away.....the reality is the other person could have stayed and tried to water the grass so it was greener with you, not on the other side
Nicole - You two are back in contact, aren’t you?
Stacey Swope - yeah but he seemed to be on and off . I stopped contacting him since his text last Sunday . Idk if it’s me wanting to have more contact and rushing or he is playing games.
nicole browne just a dudes opinion here but if youre not getting the amount of attention you want (within reason) you should probably tell the dude that OR move on....i.mean, i got dumped 2 months ago but the reality is the girl doesnt want me anymore SO i would respectfully say that if the dude cannot make up his mind OR gives you confliscting signals than it might be time to go
Hey coach great video! Your knowledge is always vast and interesting. I was wondering if you would be willing to make a video on the topic of living with you ex and dealing with their rebound? There are really no videos on this by respectable coaches.
great topic..she says she loves me more than anything..but my family ran her off...there was begging on my end..but I got smart, but have been in strict no contact for a month..her esteem is low..she left me for a guy fresh off the sex offender list..uggh!...we had broken up a year ago briefly..she dated another criminal briefly...she has low self esteem and is a professional as I am...but she took ZERO blame for this 6 year relationship failing..ishe was soo mean, and claimed i abandoned her because of her anger..afyer the fighting and her crying and my begging..m just gonna leave her be and hope maybe she will realize the good someday
Really nice. Thank you.
Lets ask the clash!
oh my god.. I realized my mistakes today. :(
What if your stupid ex told you that's he's not ready for a serious relationship? Is that a good reason to never contact them again?
LaoSoftware
Yes
A very good reason to leave actually
According to a 'third party' she left me out of the blue for a rich guy. LOL
Please read below and any advise please I am a open book
These messages are always filled with pearls of wisdom. Thank you very much.
I always approach my potential partners with three significant areas: 1) attraction, 2) chemistry, and 3) compatibility.
If we make it to compatibility we are moving from dating to a relationship, This is really where the dance begins.
Without building and maintaining attraction as the relationship grows boredom will set in and the dance will end.
If the music stops; it is time to go. Do your best to keep the dance alive.
Sounds like you've focused on female factors for staying or leaving, not male.
That’s interesting bcz I felt similarly. So why do men leave? Even when women are good to them
Need advice my x has moved on with another guy totally opposite of me and she is 25 he’s 23 lives at home with his parents I am 49 and successful she has been cheating behind his back with me she still has relationship with him dates goes out but hooks up with me for past three months she gets scared I moved on she even broke into my house to search it looking for other women and admitted to me I said she needs to end it with him or I am going to tell him the truth what’s been going on she gets scared and mad etc but I say how can this work with if your with me etc it’s crazy let’s fix this she just started going to therapy with me now he is oblivious to all this why won’t she end it with him why does she say she don’t want to I am lost can anybody give me advise I am lost and anxiety at omg high I feel like I am loosing her but I still feel she doesn’t want me gone anyone tell me what’s going on
Broken Soul listen man, I am in a situation currently where I would really love to hear from my ex-girlfriend, so I completely know what you're going through and how difficult it can be. The difference between our stories however, is that my ex-girlfriend did not cheat on me, or is not currently cheating on anyone with anyone else. I save this with as much love as possible, but if your ex is in a relationship with someone else, and is cheating on that person with you, the reality is that if the situations were reversed, she would probably be cheating on you with someone else too
buffdaddy4444
Yes it’s hard cause she was never like this at all before in the two years together it’s like she wants to get back with me but won’t make that step and end it with the other guy and he’s a real kid and has no clue what’s happening or why she’s doing it if she wants me back end it with this guy you can’t love him if your cheating on him I know I should run and not look back but she keeps sucking me in cause I can’t let her go I have lots of women asking me out etc but I am having a hard time moving on cause I haven’t let go I can’t figure out why everyone knows I am the better option then him and I was faithful etc to her I mean any women in her right mind can see what I offer as compared to this guy but still living in limbo and hate it but don’t wanna let go either
Broken Soul heres the thing my dude. Full disclosure, im 42 and recently single SO any advice i give i do so with a grain of salt BUT......heres the thing.....it seems to me she has her cake and is eating it too.....why choose when you dont have to???? She has the best of both worlds. It seems to me you are sendi ng her a message of what you are ok with.....your words are saying one thing but your actions are saying something else.....if it were me, i would tell her i love her BUT im unwilling to be in this scenario any longer and if you cut off contact with the other guy and want to get together, give me a call but until then please do not contact me you WILL be sending a very strong message.....if she doesnt want to do that, she doesnt love you enough to give you what you need, so why would you want that anyways?
And listen, again for full disclosure, I have been in the situation kind of similar what you're in before with previous girlfriends. And I wasn't always very strong about how I handled things, and the reality is, that when you allow someone to do things to you that devalue yourself, they whine up treating you accordingly. You need to send a very strong message about what you are okay with, or you can't be upset at them for not giving you exactly what you need. Your strength comes from your willingness to walk away. If you are unwilling to do that, you have very little strength, and they will treat you accordingly.
buffdaddy4444
You are right I will do that
We love Coach Margaret 😀❤
5years of bs. My stuff still in country where he work. Left house since 11oct. He’s in love with pisces with kid. I need my work stuff so i can work