tiktoks by, for and about neurodivergent and/or mentally ill ppl - episode 10
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ย. 2024
- apologies for the wonky audio levels, i accidentally made my good editing program worse by updating it and now idk how to go back. subtitles are recommended, i put a lot of effort into those
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Dude, getting attached to small inanimate objects and carrying them everywhere... oh gosh. I've been thinking I might be at least mildly autistic for a bit now, and this feels like a major indicator for me. I thought I lost one of my headbands once and it ruined an entire hiking trip for me. I lost a little plastic ladybug table decoration I'd got from a party and cried for hours, and I'm STILL not over it, even though it was over six years ago. (I'm getting teary-eyed now just thinking about it actually.) Guess I should get that checked out-
yeah i relate to this a lot. i used to have a teddy bear named Mr. Cranberry and i lost him a few years ago and cried about it for hours, i am attached to all of my stuffed animals, a sticker my friend made for me, my witch hats and ballerina tutu.
i wear jackets bc they make me feel safe and last year my mom wanted to replace mine bc it was old and she thought it look ratty and i cried but now i have a new one that i also wear everywhere, even in summer (my excuse is that it has pockets)
I do that! I think that’s a normal thing. I mean I hope. I have tiny little treasures I save and keep and carry around. When I loose them I cry.
i have a small green fuzzy pipe cleaner that i am attached to and feel the need to “take care of it” (?) once my brother tried to throw it away and i lost my shit lmfao
I lost my earbuds, my fave objects that I bring everywhere and I'm so sad..
The more I watch these the more I realize I might be neurodivergent
ok but like same
yeah same
Yyeeaahhhhhh
this
“dont take off your shoes while walking in the door or else youll lose your momentum to wash the dishes” is too accurate for me
"Don't take your shows off when you walk in the door or you'll lose your momentum and won't be able to wash the dishes"
Why does this make sense?! I don't even have to try this, just hearing it I know that this is an actual tip that would WORK!
YES
Like it makes so much *sense!* It's like how on the occasions when I leave my shoes on I actually feel like being productive?? I don't get how it works, but it works!
YES
for me it's "once you start drawing a thing Don't Fucking Stop or else you probably won't like ever pick up that drawing again"
hyperfocusing on tasks is a motherfucker. can't even take a quick break to eat when i'm all jammed up during schoolwork without being unable to get back into some kind of zone.
@@chalkwarrior5542 omg same
Finding out that you’re neurodivergent is such a wonderful feeling. Finally finding the community and realizing you aren’t alone.
I was never diagnosed, but I can completly agree with you
I love the clarity that comes along with it, bc now I have an answer for the things I do
I've been putting "perfectionist" as a skill on my resume for *years* thinking it's a healthy and positive trait. I've put off assignments bc I'd rather get a 0 than a 65%. I've contemplated doing horrible things to myself bc I didn't do some new thing right the first time. It makes everything new you try to do miserable. Don't let anyone tell you being a perfectionist is fine, bc they won't be there to calm you down when you make a mistake.
same unfortunately :(
Is being a perfectionist related to being neurodivergent?
@@mewhoisahumanonearth I believe so, I've mostly heard it being attributed to ADHD and OCD(in the sense that you need things to be a certain way, not the organization stereotype). Same thing with procrastinating, tends to go hand in hand.
@@ezraf.7759 Ah okay, thank you.
You literally just described me perfectly. I’ve been praised a lot on being a good student since primary (aka, gifted kid so fun woo!!! /s ). This might sound pretentious as fuck, but If I pass with high marks, I don’t feel proud of myself because that is what is expected of me, that’s the bare minimum of what I should be doing. Being a “good student” is part of my identity so much so that I would rather completely not achieve or not finish then not get to merit/excellence level. Because even though im aware that it’s irrational, in my brain my logic is that if my work doesn’t reach the literal limit of what I can put out, it’s not worth doing. I tend to get self destructive over failing anyway, so damn, double homicide!
Sorry this is long lmao TL:DR unfortunately relatable: ive got a “if your doing well then nothings wrong, even if it’s causing you mental pain” mentality and it sucks ass
when I was like 6 or 7, I used to feel really bad for my left hand because I was right handed and it got so bad that I would cry about it sometimes. I’d also draw flowers on my left fingers so they wouldn’t feel ‘left out’.
Thats so cute
Same, I thought I was the only one
I used to be sad for food because for example, cereal. There are lots of pieces of food in that. I was scared that 2 pieces of cereal were friends then they got separated and eaten by different people then they never saw eachother again. That made me want to eat all the cereal
@@sarahatanasio1337 whenever there was a stuffed animal day at school or i was bringing a stuffed animal on a vacation i felt bad for all the others ebcause they never got to adventure
I feel very attacked bc when the person was talking about little guys, I was literally wearing the blanket that gives me comfort and security around my shoulders- like, I cannot be away from it for long periods of time.
i was in bed with all my stuffed animals that i have either had since childhood or have gotten attached to recently
Being a little isn't something to feel ashamed of. Instead think of it this way. Some people can comfort themselves without objects, and other people need comfort items. The difference between a child who sucks their thumb, and a child who needs a pacifier.
The smiling one omg. A few years back my therapist told me that smiling at people more could help me make friends since a straight face is generally taken as negative. I smiled throughout every conversation even before that to seem friendly, and she didn’t even know I was doing so. Pain. I’d smile harder but that feels just completely unnatural so RIP I guess, I’ve made friends with other people with autism now anyway.
(Also anyone else not even know when you’re fake smiling/laughing anymore because it’s second nature? Like if I laughed at something and you asked me if it was because it was funny or because I thought I should, I wouldn’t have an answer.)
Oh shit-
good news: after several years of asking i finally got tested for adhd and autism. i used to think i just might have adhd but midway through the testing (which was just a questionnaire) i realized “oh damn i think i’m autistic”. the results will come in a few weeks and i’m way too impatient for how long it takes lol.
good for you! i hope you feel comfortable with your result, whatever it may be 😌
I'm so happy for u! Wishing u the best of luck x
Good luck!
update: i was right i’m autistic ahuahslhxihgsbujhkjahhi i’m getting used to the diagnosis but i’m happy that i know what’s going on in my brain
@@mentallyunstable1926 pog! congrats on getting diagnosed :D !
WOOO i just got diagnosed with adhd a little over a week ago, thank you for these comps i love them so much :D
Hii! I have a question since I know I'm most likely somewhere on the Autism spectrum (or at least have severe adhd) does it feel relieving to have now known that you had ADHD the whole time? I'm kinda nervous to get diagnosed since I'm not sure whether it would be relieving or scary to find out if I'm actually nuerodivergent.... Sorry if that made no sense, have a great rest of your day!
@@vampliita555 for me it’s been very relieving! it feels really good to have a confirmed label for a thing that has been affecting me so much for my whole life and to know that the things that are difficult for me because of my adhd aren’t my fault or just a character flaw, it’s just the way my brain works. it has definitely been a lot to process, but it’s overall been really relieving and affirming and i’m glad i went and got tested.
@@gmcnabb174 Aaaa thanks so much for responding! This was really interesting to read your perspective on this and I think I might actually try to get a diagnosis! This probably sounds cheesy but thank you so much you really made my day just by sparking up a small conversation and sharing your input 🥰 honestly I'm just kinda scared of the reactions from close friends/family if I do get a diagnosis as well, so I'm glad to hear that you've been doing well after getting yours!
@@vampliita555 aw i’m glad!!! good luck with the diagnosis process if you decide to pursue one!!
@@vampliita555 exactly, and after that what? because it will create so many problems if i get a diagnosis, I'd have to take meds, go to the psychologist or smt and my life will not be the same anymore
I’m am uncomfortable with being perceived. Making any sound like footsteps, breathing, talking and not wearing headphones. Being seen, like walking down the hall way or into a room while my family is in there, I’ll usually wait till they’ve left to go to the kitchen to eat, or go use the toilet, or brush my teeth(toothbrush makes noise)(cereal makes noise, microwave makes noise)(mess is noticeable, you can till I’ve been there) I like to put everything back the way it was, like I was never there. But I don’t have any trauma or abuse, I can’t even remember most my childhood so it’s not like I could tell if I did or not. But I’m pretty sure I don’t have any trauma. So why am I like this?
I struggle with this too. Almost every summer I would stay in my room and only come out when everyone’s asleep. I hated the thought of “being perceived” that’s a better explanation for it than I’ve ever come up with.
I don’t think we were abused but we could be reacting to something that happened in our past, like a sort of trauma that isn’t recognized.
The thought of asking questions, being a part of the discussion put my personal opinion about things. It always killed me.
I relate with the same thing. I'll stay up late just to get food and watch stuff and I'll do normal things when I'm home alone because I feel uncomfortable knowing someone can see and judge me when I do that stuff when others are around. Maybe it's because the people around me have been critical of small actions I make from a young age or that I've been humiliated for doing small things before, idk 🤷🏼♂️
Abuse isn't the only trauma source! Abuse is a big T Trauma, small things (small T trauma) can also be traumatic, such as a family generally hating noise or being told to be quiet many times as a child, although it's not necessarily trauma, but it also can be some sort of unrecognized trauma (I'm not saying it is! Just a possibility)
Not remembering trauma can actually also be a sign of trauma. I’m no expert, but maybe just talk to a therapist if you can find one? (Coming from someone who didn’t realize they were abused until a therapist identified behaviors of individuals in my past as abusive.)
I relate so heavily to many of these videos but I feel like I'm not ALLOWED to try to self diagnose because I'm a straight a student and i'm "normal" (which I think has always been me masking). I dont think I have enough money to even try to visit a doctor and be diagnosed with anything anyways ;x; but watching these I feel seen and heard and understood and it brings happy stims every time i see an upload
It's okay! Most of the autistic community agrees that self-diagnosis is valid (as long as there is substance to it) as getting a formal diagnosis can actually be a privilege and unattainable to some). Just do some proper research (instead of basing it fully off of tiktoks) - you can try interacting with people in the autistic community and listening to their experiences to find out more. If, after doing some research, the autistic label feels (even more) right to you, then it's okay to self diagnose. It's totally valid!
I'm in the same situation lol, I'm an a and b student but idk tho bc in Italy we use numbers as grades but i relate to the ADHD ones
Ok, from someone who suspects they may be Autistic who also has a pretty glowing academic history: being a good student does not mean you don’t struggle. In fact, if you stress a lot over getting things done, performing up to certain standards, and then fail to do things because you can’t give them enough energy, you could very well be neurodivergent. Especially if you are female or were raised female, the pressure to conform and perform well can make it seem like you’re doing fine, and the female and AFAB experience often results in a TON of second-guessing and imposter ideology. Personally, I started making a list of all the things I’d experienced in myself that seemed to be different from what others felt or how they behaved or were extremely similar to what I’d heard and seen neurodivergent people describe, and I began to cross-reference with signs of Autism and ADHD. So, even though I’d not presume you need this, if you WANT it, *you absolutely have “permission” to self diagnose*.
@@impish_snake3526 oh my gosh you described this perfectly thank you.
@@jeneanbean Thanks. I feel like I just reiterated a bunch of the points you made, tho. Even ONLINE I’m bad at communication.
That one about wearing headphones when home alone and being extremely uncomfortable with making noise I-I do that except minus the headphones I should just do that instead of tiptoeing in socks with specific pants that don’t crinkle or do the swish noise avoiding stepping on certain stairs etc etc etc
i do the same thing, whenever i hear a garage door open or someone knock and ring the doorbell everything has to stop, im not allowed to make noise until it goes away
YEAH literally I've had panic attacks bc I can hear my heartbeat like what
I DIED AT THE END WHEN THEY SAID “is it contagious?” “yes strat running” PERFECT RESPONSE
so...a couple weeks ago, i learned that people _actually think before they say_
i didnt know that was a thing...i thought it was just an expression-
Wait, tf? they do?/gen
@@the.crow.apollo Not _all_ of them, no.
wait what
like
in their brain
they THINK ABOUT THE WORDS THEIR GONNA SAY
wait what?? i thought it was like a metaphor for just like dont say stupid shit
I have to plan out every single sentence before I say it most of the time :-')
bro the second one. i literally had a Moment where i realized that what i thought was a small calm smile was just completely :| instead and i lost my mind because it explained so much
omg me too
is it just me or does anyone else DESPISE the sounds of doorbells and garage doors? like they just make me wanna hide and never be seen again-
i'm with u on doorbells they make me want to scream
@@sharkn3rd yeah, i always run to my room and hide when i hear’em
Do you hate the sounds themselves or the fact that they mean other people are around? Genuine question.
@@sadies8100 both I hate the loud noises and people actually terrify me
@@heeateddirt5007 so both, then? Understandable, people are weird.
6:51 I literally refused, for YEARS, to eat with anything other than the small spoon, fork and knife.
Plus they had to be very specific ones and when they weren't clean right now it was literally like "okay I'd rather starve" ashdh
Getting really attached to inanimate objects and fearing that they might be hurt, definitely not me making sure that all of my plushies are on my bed every night because I don't want them to be lonely...
Also, I'm pretty sure I have ADHD/Autism, but I'm afraid to talk to my mother about it, since I've been labelled as a gifted kid and she'll just say "well that's just you", and then will ignore when I say that I'm struggling
I relate to you! Personally I told my parents that an autism diagnosis is often missed and labelled as giftedness. Especially in girls. And it could be incredibely helpful for school, etc. Good luck:)
These ND tik tok comps give me infinite amounts of serotonin thank you for making them
i am not going to lie, i may or may not have cried when i saw npd/cluster b pd positivity, even if it was minor. thank you
THAT SECOND TIKTOK!!!! PLEASE !!!! NO MATTER WHAT, TO THIS DAY, MY MOM STILL MAKES FUN OF ME FOR WINKING ONE EYE MORE THAN THE OTHER WHEN I SMILE. ITS NOT MY FAULT!!! I DONT KNOW WHY I DO IT !!!! THATS JUST HOW IM BUILT !!!!
I DO THAT! it’s such a fun expression to make. My eyes naturally squint when I smile, but sometimes one winks close and IT!S FUN!
Oh my god for 0:55 - I swear that's me too! I've always had a gap in my teeth so that's how my autistic self explained why my smile never seemed right compared to others'. I was also frustrated because I wanted to find an explanation for everything so that's the only way I could justify not knowing how to "smile properly".
That is why I still hate photos on vacations at 20. I never smile “correctly” and it is never just one or a few, always much much more. Also I suck at the goofy photos. I just do my normal neutral facial expression.
My teeth are messed up because I haven't got braces yet. I can only style with my top teeth, so I can barely smile in photos.
My mom has the same exact gap between her teeth, so I didn't really smile or express emotions much but I did smile without any fear of my teeth lol
2:25 throughout my entire life I have had these two stims that annoy/worry others; I make a fist and hit my thigh or I take my four fingers and tap (a little hard) on my neck.
P.s. I am not asking for tips or help, I just felt the need to share
Wait I do that Ajdkdosnfb
One of my coping mechanisms with stress related to trauma is holding ice and touching cold walls or cracking my neck at the weirdest angles and it concerns/confuses people all the time
This might be a really common stim but I crack my knuckles even when they don't make the popping noise and it really annoys my family and friends but it's not comfortable for me to stop :(
@@cafecrows I do this but my favourite part is not only just cracking the knuckles but also getting to hear the popping noise so sometimes I'll just keep doing it even when I know they aren't gonna pop :( then i force myself to stop. also sorry about ur loved ones being mean about it - that must suck :(
@@katie-mz6si yeah I really like the popping noise too!!! And I'm coined as the "weird one" in social circles and family gatherings so it's not that bad? idk it is what it is ig :/
Wearing headphones alone in a house and realising that maybe you’re uncomfortable of being noticed. Huh
Question? Does anyone else have a hyperfixation, then, when that's done, completely forget that thing exists?? For example, I really liked eating Kiwi for a month and a half, but after that was done, I forgot they even existed until I was reminded of it last night.
Ya! And I wonder why did I even like it at the time when now I have this COOL ICED COFFEE THAT I'M GOING TO DRINK EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL I HATE IT kinda thing. I really don't get why I liked it and it's hard to remember that nice feeling it's kinda sad
"You gaslit your way into having friends."
That was literally how I looked for an artist to draw a webcomic I wanted to make. I went to the cafe on campus at the art school and did that. It turns out everyone hated the campus cafe with their shitty coffee, though.
4:44 ayo @ fellow systems. I have two bank accounts - one that is LOCKED FROM MY ACCESS WITHOUT MY MUM'S SIGNATURE, and one that I can access as needed. I can always access the locked one, I just have to pop into westpac with my mum and sign a sheet (takes 2 mins), but the executive function required to organise such a trip means that I don't do that, and as such I have savings!!
U can change who the control person is to suit ur personal circumstances, or u can just do it with urself but make it that u have to go in to transfer and if ur anything like me u literally never will and bam! Savings.
Idk if this is hyper empathy but, my favorite character in a show just got his personality retconned and (this might sound cringe) I full on cried. Like legit weeping for like 20 minutes.
Honestly I have the same pineapple tumbler as the one at 13:31 and I got irrationally happy at seeing someone else who has one
thank you so much for adding subtitles!!! they're really nice to have :]
people comparing tics to sneezes:
me whose most common tic is a sneezing noise: 👁️👄👁️
i bought a set of duck shaped measuring spoons because we only had one in my house and i knew it came from a set and it was lonely and needed friends. anyway now i have five and there names are Friend, Pants, Jeffrey, Buckle, and Eleanor and live together lined up evenly spaced in size order on my stereo.
First one hit hard but replace "mom" with ex-friend. PTSD, what can I say
11:42 i think my little guy is my Tubbo youtooz, it arrived on my birthday a couple months ago and i love taking him with me, I've even taken him to my dad's house to swim (dont wory i left him inside so he didn't get wet) i love him so much. Hes so happy and he has BEES!!! I love bees! -)
aaaaaa thats awesome. i love tubbo and a lot of mcyts but im too broke to afford youtooz so my version of little guy would probably be a hoodie i have. (also fun story i once got so attached to a deformed strawberry that i wasted an entire box of Polaroid camera film to take pictures of it, and cried when i had to get rid of it)
edit: oh or my pillow cause i like hugging it
12:03
Bruh I've had this lil poocheyana figure in my purse for YEARS bc my finger fits Just Right™ on its back it's just really satisfying and sometimes if i get a lil stressed i dig it out. Does that count?
Oh my god the first one made me laugh, I did NOT expect that part to repeat--
My mom: F you my child is completely fine!
Me: *vibes and understands all the statements having to do with ADHD and Autism while sitting in a house with headphones and my favorite hat in the middle of summer*
omg u have ur favourite hat - i have my favourite mug :)
also same to everything else lol
cool! i have my favorite beanie :}
@katie oooo I wish I had a favorite mug tbh. All our mugs are the same.
this
@@Aura.Meter.Art. all ur mugs are the same? Is it like one set?
little rant. when i was younger i used to watch the movie Leap every day for a month without one break from it. i’m still not sure why i was so attached to that movie.
I have never related to a statement more than I related to "A little spoon. Very good. A big spoon. I'd rather starve."
Also popits....... ew they do the same thing every time
fidget cubes......yay when I get bored with one side I can switch to another side..... i can also make fun beats
me realizing i adapted my autistic need for a little buddy by needing to have my purse on me whenever I leave the house oh shit
11:37 , AAAH LITTLE GUYS!!!! When I was a wee child, I used to carry around one of those long yellow rubber chickens that make the noise, a plastic scorpion, a blanket, and a little wooden spoon. I am indeed autistic how’d you guess 😂
3:56
I don't have tics so the analogy to it being like a sneeze actually really helped me understand what this feels like perfectly. I do, however, have severe undiagnosed ADHD and tend to vocal stim a lot and his description of it being like a bug bite is just f***ing perfect. I'll be using this from now on to explain things to my NT family thank you
When i was a kid i was told that i was bad at singing cus it just sounded like i was talking. I tried to purposefully singing bad and it ended up being better apparently
MY FRUSTRATED STIMMING! I slam my fists/hands on the table as hard as possible, multiple times until they hurt! Instead of slamming my head into the wall or just simply hitting myself in the head, i punch my head as hard as i can. It's awful. Also, when i was a kid and would get excited/emotional, i would flap my hands really fast, and my dad would always tell me to "stop being so flappy-handsy." He still says it when i get excited, and tells other people about how i get super flappy handsy sometimes.
Also recently, I've been doing these little squeaks when I'm energetic but just laying in bed watching tiktoks.
ive become more and more concerned tbh
because i’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, but at the same time, almost all autism traits i can really relate to a lot. I especially hate eye contact. But at the same time I’m not sure if I was diagnosed with autism or not.
stg when i get older i’m checking it out.
9:30 not the beginning of the tik tok but I love her sm! She has taught me so much about apd and is just generally a cool person
"you can stop yourself from itching it"
tw caps//
Y'ALL CAN DO THAT???????
this guy has *way* more self control than me
capitalist
I found a solution for the "smiling properly" one!! I've never been able to do it either, but I found out if I just thought of something that could make me laugh I'd have an authentic smile. So, just think about something that's really funny to you, for me it's an inside joke with some of my friends but it could be anything, as long as it makes you laugh. Then you'll smile bc you're laughing!
to add on to the stimming one; even though stimming isn't completely involuntary you shouldn't make someone stop stimming unless it harms themselves or others (and actually harms, not just you finding it weird)
11:00: omg I didn't know this was a thing! I have a red jumper and a blue jumper, normally I wear the blue one because it's my favourite, but I started wearing the red one more because I was worried that it felt bad
Listen I love this compilation I find lots of videos funny, informative and relatable but I very much do not appreciate being called out at jut ALL of 6:49 and 9:53 because yes I LOVE THAT HANGER and this is the first video I've watched from this person I just want good things for the hanger... also about 11:35 could my hoody be a "little guy" because due to an injury it had to get one of its sleeves cut up and... I feel like the fact that I immediately put that fact and more importantly the stopping of that happening (including putting my FUCKING FINGERS in the way of "paramedic clothes slicer thing" (I don't actually know what those are called)) over my DISLOCATED AND CRACKED ELBOW is pretty good evidence, not to mention I've been in a weird place mentally since then soooo... yeah take from that what you will
By the way for context my mum had to legitimately trick me into giving up the hoodie to wash it so if you weren't convinced before
7:32 is actually such good advice omg ... i might need to use that
As a child, my parents did not pay attention to the signs of my neurodivergence and I damn well know they had enough money (they were constantly doing renovation on our house that costed thousands of dollars that they paid upfront.) and now I don’t have that money to get diagnosed.
The one that talked about your "little buddy" made me think of this one miniature squishmallow that I always bring to sleepovers and stuff. Even if I don't take it out of my suitcase, it makes me feel secure
so is it true that adhd is hereditary? Bc I’m fairly certain my dad might have it. Bc he has many of the same symptoms as me and mentioned it once to him and he just changed the subject…
Generally, neurodivergency does carry on genetically. For example, my mom is Autistic, I am, my uncle, and my cousin. Some of my other family members also have other ND conditions, but it is very much a genetic thing. Unfortunately some people go undiagnosed because they mask their traits, they don’t seem visible to most people, etc., so sometimes people are surprised or they deny the fact that their child/children could also be ND. So it’s likely that your dad has ADHD or a similar condition if you do as well.
@@zalamazu I thought so, but he refuses to believe it- I guess if it doesn’t effect him the same way it does me then it’s fine I guess. (By that I mean It affects my daily life in a way that is harmful to me)
my dad has adhd
uh oh😀
both my parents have it but it’s undiagnosed b/c my dad’s more inattentive/less hyperactive and my mom didn’t have disciplinary issues other than being super talkative
9:25 HELLLLL YEEEAAAHHHH!!!! Done with the narcissistic personality disorder slander, THIS IS WHAT IT'S ABOUT BABEY!
By slander I mean I love listening to TH-camr drama, and a lot of the time, the comments will be filled with "It's cuz they're a narcissist." ESPECIALLY if the video is about a certain Onion™.
Like, yeah, whatever, they can be a narcissistic, but the wording is terrible. It really seems as though all narcissists are bad and full of themselves to the worst degree.
Side rant: I hate when I talk about stuff like this and people come after me for being nitpicky. How you phrase things TOTALLY matters, because that will seep into someone's subconscious and alter how they think about certain people. If someome constantly sees that "Onision is such a narcissist." then that someone will associate being a narcissist as bad. They may not realize that they are, but it's stigmatizing. I hate that I mention this and almost everyone tells me it's not a big deal, when it's the biggest deal of them all. How you phrase your sentences is a big deal, because someone out there will remember that and be forever changed.
Anyway...love the NPD love.
About the smiling thing, I have it where my go-to is smiling and its really hard for me to make myself not smile if I'm around other people?? I have to make sure I'm not smiling when someone tells me something sad or if I'm communicating that I'm sad, and I practice how to relax my face when I'm alone but it feels like I'll be letting the people I'm interacting with down if I don't smile
I cannot count the number of times I'd be at a store, get super attached to either a plushie or a box of ziplock bags or something because hyper empathy, and my parents, being responsible adults, would not buy it.
So I'd hide it under a rack of t-shirt or behind the cake mixes so only I could find it because I didn't want just any sandwich Tupperwhale, I wanted the one I'd already built a rapport with
Ahhhhhh, good times
I used a big spoon today because I was out of little spoons and we all know I'm not going to wash one anytime soon,
it felt like stuffing a shovel into my mouth
OH MY GOD THE SMILING THING HOLY SHIT I"M NOT THE ONLY ONE OH MY GOD
I get what the person at 8:42 is saying, when I’m home alone I try to make as little noise as I can and when that gets interrupted by something or someone comes home it angers me 😭😭
mood
I have an action figure of Archer from Small Soldiers (one of my favorite movies and was a huperfixation of mine ofc) and he was my little guy :)
I have hyper empathy but am able to ignore or turn off all my empathy either towards a specific thing (so to quote a meme: "Fuck these 5 fish in particular). I'm not able to turn it up or down that much, and when I turn it back on I will feel guilty abt it.
I can numb my empathy in general but this makes me seem "cold". I feel a lot of guilt and so I try and only turn my empathy up/un-numb it in little bursts, these always are followed by a breakdown or crisis of some form.
When i understand or know what's going on I get along with just about anyone, though I still need to work on safely navigating situations regardless of the psychology or neurotype.
I agree with the thing that adhd advice person said, build everything around your functions, this is called ergonomics.
God... the sound at 1:03
Call me a pervert or whatever, but that sound is litterally how my brain is I have to numb some of it down or distract it omg-
I get full body shiver things sometimes, idk if they are a tic or if it's something else (deffo not a stim)
I get periodic synesthesia if that is even possible. It only happens with some things and not very often but it is consistent when it does. (Mine is audio-to-texture :D)
This one was so good holy shit
I saw the one abt not taking ur shoes off b4 and honestly it has helped me so much sometimes I also just leave my backpack on if I rlly need to get something done when I get home
11:55 I have a llama that is actually a door stopper, but I started using it as a stuffed animal and couldn't sleep without it.. I had to put it away for a while (other reasons), which made me very sad, but currently I'm using a penguin that my mom gave me before she left to go somewhere for a few weeks.
and I have a small plushie lobster that I immediately got attached to as soon as I saw it in the store. carried it around everywhere, eventually my mom told me to leave it home or else I'd lose it, which got me pretty scared, so now my lobster sits on my pillow until I come back home
12:12 i literally had no way of explain it until now?? thank you? so much? oh my god? ????
12:11 as an introject- yes! Exactly! - Max and Michael Afton
i love ur comps so much !! thank u for these
also if anyone else is having a similar experience, so far i've found r/psychosis to be the most helpful place so far
fair warning, this turned into kind of a vent about emotional & psychological abuse
man I wish my parents would just let me get tested for autism already
whenever I ask my mom she says shit like “there’s nothing wrong with you! you’re just Gifted™!” and mentions that she feels bad for autistic people (and when I try to tell her that different =/= damaged she agrees but then goes back to saying the same shit)
she eventually agreed to get me tested for autism but she didn’t specify when and from many years of personal experience that means she’ll never do it (and when I bring it up she’ll act like I’m being unreasonable because she already said “yes”)
gotta love being told I’ll get what I asked for but the conditions are vague so it can be postponed indefinitely
this is the same bitch who gaslighted me into believing for a whole year that I made up false memories to find reasons to hate her because there were no real reasons to hate her because she was a perfect loving mother and I was looking for reasons to hate her because I was evil and ungrateful
wow I didn’t mean to bare my soul in the youtube comments section like that lmao
I used to be emotional attached to a necklace with two random keys and a clay bird skull I made at 3 am some time that is super vague am I don’t emended really making it, and I lost it once, cried, found it, broke it, cried, fixed it, then stopped wearing it because people thought I killed a bird to make it, but now I still carry it around with me out of sight
6:49 omfg i literally only eat with little spoons and forks, my whole life I just thought I was weird coz everyone else didn't care. I've also been showing other signs of autism and im gonna check it out with my therapist the next chance I see them
I got so attached to the ceiling coathanger in the video talking about the people that got attached to it that I was hurt when they said that they had taken it down at one point. I feel really called out now.
I find it hilarious how my "little guy" is quite actually A LITERAL MASK
_(Every kid with autism🎶)_
13:13 wait no that’s GENIUS omg
0:30 not even smiling specifically, just facial expressions. and then i always felt back because i thought since i had to practice them it meant that i wasn't being genuine
THE FINGER WIGGLING. I DO THIS ALMOST 24/7!
im not proffesionaly diagnosed with adhd, anxiety and depression. i have the symptoms of all of em. i talked to my mom abt anxiety after breaking down but she wouldnt let me go to the therapists because she thinks there arent any good therapist s where we liv. WE LIVE IN THE CENTRE AND CAITAL OF THE COUNTRY MOM
The wearing headphones even if home alone is so true for me
9:20 AAAAAAAA I'm so happy to see this! Theres hardly ever any positivity for people with NPD 🥺
my stimming when it starts: *humming ieven polkka*
my stimming by the time i notice it: *drumming the table, dancing, and vocalising to ievan polkka*
The last one omg-
0:28
It was not just you, my smile when I was younger was just me sticking out my teeth because I didn’t understand what it was. That’s also why I cried when I heard I was getting braces, my overbite was the only way I knew how to smile so I didn’t know what I would do afterwards.
0:48
I do this literally all the time, but the thing is, I’m not autistic. There have been other sings in the past few months that have pointed to a place for me on the spectrum and my parents aren’t happy. If anyone has some tips, I’ll gladly take them. I just wanna be normal and safe.
Getting diagnosed is great because now I can watch these without a weird sense of guilt and 'what if I'm faking it'
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have adhd and/or depression because all the signs point to especially now in quarantine but I feel guilty. I'm going to talk to my parents about it and maybe they can help with a diagnosis :D
Omg, it is so embarrassing when I think that I am alone and so i click my tongue, make other noises with my mouth, or whistle or sing a song i made up about my dog that i say over and over or sing a verse of a song that is stuck in my head only to realize that i am NOT alone and someone in my family such as my father just heard me.
Watching these is so bittersweet because a lot of them are helpful and relatable which is fun but it’s also sad because I wish I was allowed to get a diagnosis
i know i've commented something like this before but your tiktok comps are my favorite because you include stuff about DID/OSDD. it makes me really really happy :)
Hold on being afraid to make noise is a sign of abuse I thought everyone had that
12:04
My hoodie!! I wear the same hoodie to school everyday, and when its warm weather i get anxious bc i know I'll have a heat stroke if I wear it😭
6:40 yes,, for the most part,, but I love grocery stores cuz I don't go out much and there's always a lot of stuff to look at and/or feel or smell or-
Ok but now I'm emotionally attached to the ceiling hanger and I need one
okay but neurodivergent people are so funny...and the neurotypicals who shun us are missing out on a BLAST!
"little spoon"
OH THAT EXPLAINS IT-
or wait is it talking about a different kind of spoon because i'm thinking silverware
the one about what it's like being an introject was way too real - Case
6:25 i do the smarties thing too, i like to eat candy so that there becomes an equal amount of all the colors
1:55 …that explains some things
11:15 this too. I didn’t know hyper empathy was what it’s called
i did the skittles sorting when I was a kid! what fun. I'd also play them against each other in a competition of who was going to get eaten last mwhahaha
5:42 dang I didn't expect to be called out like that
My trick for 'smiling right' in pictures (37 years old so I've had plenty of time to figure this out) Just think of something really happy. Like my pupper! Or going on a roller coaster.
So if I'm actually happy in that moment, I can actually smile.