As a domestic abuse survivor I sat there at that station for so many years.. After ten i started to value myself. If i would have stayed he would have killed me in front of my children. seventeen years ago i got on that bus. Today i thrive today I am a published short story author. Today I am free. Today i know my worth. Today, I do not fear.
I’m so glad you left that toxicity. My ex hit once but used manipulation and cohesive control. I always thought he’d change, and he’d promise with future faking fairytales. Abusers didn’t change. They come back and the cycle repeats. I left and was happy.
The original line I think it's 'This is me, this is you.' Meaning that they're different individuals and get to choose their on choices. But personally, I like your version even more, it's more powerful
@@afterthestorm221 That's an unconscious choice, until you heal and make the subconscious conscious, which is hard emotional work. Trauma-bonding is developed in early childhood, therefore you subconsciously seek the familiar in adulthood.
I spent over 20 years in law enforcement and have seen so many abused women and even a few abused men. It never gets better, it only gets worse. Going back to the same house or apartment multiple times over the course of weeks, months or years, because nothing changes. Domestic violence happens to all types of people, wealthy, poor, educated, uneducated, black, white, Asian… People who abuse don’t ever change.
Watching these videos, you realize the "hollywood actors" you see recycled across film and TV are not necessarily the best choices because of their acting skill.
I think that it’s difficult for victims of domestic abuse to accept that the person who’s hurting them doesn’t love them. I once cared for a woman whose boyfriend severed a tendon in her hand when he cut her with a knife . Many abusers are narcissists who project their feelings of self disgust on their partners. These people are incapable of interacting in a loving nurturing fashion. The honeymoon period that follows each assault is designed to keep you there. The violence is always in the background just waiting for an excuse to raise its ugly head, again . These are high conflict individuals . They blame you for what they do. You will continue to be the object of their hatred and violence until you break the cycle by leaving. Understand that leaving is the most dangerous time in the relationship. You may need an exit plan that involves a safe house .
The most dangerous ones are the ones that let you go without a fight. They will be back in your life somehow, some way and usually right smack dab in the middle of the time you really need someone and it will begin again. The recidivism rate of abused going back to their abusers is much higher than ex-cons going back to prison.
My mom was a victim and unfortunately I had to hear it every night she was once beaten so hard that she had a brain bleed she had a child with him she lost everyone she loved because my family thought for some reason she was the crazy one she lost me, my brothers, her sister, and her brother no one sent her cards on her birthday except me and my grandma the boy friend still runs free because my mom had a brain bleed she now needs to take pills every day she can’t take care of her own kids because she was beaten so hard by him I had to endure all of it by my self because my other brother was in college and my younger brother was only a few months old at the time he’s now five and hasn’t seen his own mother or brother in five years and the crack addict ex is still taking care of my little brother till this day.
I remember watching a horror short film on domestic violence which really captured the physical and emotional feelings, the abuser kept bodily hurting his partner and she would cry and be in pain but then he'd keep doing 'romantic gestures' after each violent attack and she'd ignore the bruises and cuts and pretend it never happened , and he wore a mirror which symbolised a distorted reflection. It's tragic that so many victims can't escape this horrible situation. There's so much manipulation and emotional blackmail. Anyone who lashes out in a ugly way, will 99% keep doing it they'll never change, no matter how many times they try to convince their significant other.
One day I said to myself, if I don't get out of here now there won't be enough of me left to pack in a suitcase and go. I made my exit plan at that moment.
I agree! The young girl also stars in The Haunting of Bly Manor, crazy thing is she looks much younger here and Bly Manor came out last year! Tahirah Sharif is a great actress for sure to pull of both roles and them being so different! If you have Netflix I urge you to give it a watch!
Two beautiful & talented actresses! This was incredibly touching & in this case the younger woman showed such wisdom & despite her 'irritated' exterior was incredibly kind. I hope next time the suitcase is full & she has the incredible courage clarity & strength to board the bus! Thanks Omletto for raising awareness of such an important issue which affects men too!
Sadly, this is more common than it should be.. Not just marriages, but also relationships. And not just women, for men as well.. Humans need to do a better job.
They should make another film with the scenario reversed. More than half of all domestic abuse victims are men. Sadly, there is no support for them, only stigmatization, physical pain, and mental anguish.
@@TSM8088 I am a woman and I believe in equality in every sense and support the one who needs support irrespective of gender.. and yes I agree it has been a stereotype for men to be blamed more often but that is based on experience and past evidences. I do agree that has started to change and anyone can turn out to be a victim and we must not assume..
I also wanted to address this point in a comment. I knew a man who was physically abused by his girlfriend. In fact she would brag about giving him a bloody nose etc. It was absolutely nauseating and I had no idea what to do. He eventually got out of that relationship thank god. I was asking advise from my mother and after I told her she just brushed the topic aside claiming there was no way a woman could physically abuse a man. I tried to explain but she thought I was overreacting. It’s a shame that people think and react this way. I really wish the media and others would shed more light on the reality of how common situations like this are so men would feel less shame about coming forward and getting help.
How nice is it to have someone else carry the "invisible baggage" for a little while. To lighten the burden enough to be able to come up for a breath of logical perspective. 💚
Extrapolating from the books I've read, it's not that the victim doesn't want to be helped. It's that the victim does not want to realize that the person who they think is the most important in their lives is THAT bad. That they really are alone. That the relationship which they thought would give meaning to their life is really meaningless. That they have to step outside, into the Unknown, to get out. All that is really painful to realize. Human psyche always tends to choose moderate, but long and unproductive pain instead of strong pain, which is short and allowing to grow afterward. Psychologists call all such similar phenomena as "coping mechanisms". If I had an audience with the Mother Nature (I know, I know, I'm audacious...), that's one of the things I would ask - what kind of designer allows such unfortunate mistakes in her creations ?
Great to have been part of helping this film to get made, and fantastic to see it on this platform! :) Well done Paul Murphy and the rest of the cast and crew who made this!
Any abuse isn’t good and it’s never okay to blame the victim. 😓 - my ex was the SAME. he emotionally abused me in private and everyone on the outside thought so many great things about him.
that's exactly what they do and when you are losing your mind they have their mask of perfection on so when you act out or emotionally you look like the crazy one - it's so effective and complete evil.
same here, it hurts everytime a family or friend brings him up and says how good he was to me, the emotional and psychological stuff is just as bad as physical
@@jnb756 yes!!! They get others to turn on you. So subtlety too… even your own family starts to doubt you. It’s incredibly painful and lonely. No one seems to understand.
Mine was a dr jekyll/Mr Hyde. Then I moved into Satan himself. Like the girl said. It's simple but hard. When I decided to leave the second abuser, I took a deep breathe and plunged into the depths of hell for about 6 mos. But, I came out of it alive
The young actress was pretty! Sometimes you can't help people. The older woman was more afraid of the unknown than her abusive husband. She knew what to expect but to leave she did not know. If she killed him, most likely she would get involved with another abuser. She needs psychological care. I will never forget when a woman's boyfriend shot half of her face off and stayed away from her, she called him trying to find out if they could get back together. He refused to get back with her. We know that the abuser has major problems but the victim also has grave psychological issues.
Helping abused women is akin to helping drug addicts. They are so addicted to these men that ‘love’ them it’s hard to break through to them and free them from their abusers.
Easier said than done. Things change so fast. Everyone else thinks he is kind, sweet and loving and so did you. At first, you can't come to terms with the fact that this monster is the same man you fell in love with and married. Surely this must be a one-off incident. He must have had a bad day. You DID upset him by doing that minor thing that he hates. If things can change for the worse, they can also change for the better...so you can fix him...he just needs time and patience. It's too soon to give up on him. And before you know it, this has been going on for years and it has changed YOU instead of him. You are thrashed black and blue for an inadvertent mistake (or not even that), over and over for years so how do you suddenly find the courage to deliberately do something that you know will send him into an uncontrollable rage? It's not that they are addicted to the man or their 'love'. They're scared out of the wits. So they come up with all kinds of excuses like "he needs me" or "I have to stay for the sake of the kids" "No one will believe me" "If I go to he willl hurt them too". There's no love left for that monster or she wouldn't want him dead. That love is replaced by fear.
@@silverkittyzen also by the time it gets to years the emotional abuse leaves you with no self esteem what so ever and you think that's all you deserve
@@resolecca 💓💗You deserve better, you deserve to be truly loved and cherished in the healthiest way from a wholesome person, regardless of gender/age we can reset out mind. The problem lies deeper in our childhood too for most of us.
Wow that sucks, I grew up seeing my mom getting mistreated by her boyfriend but yet here I am a grown man and never have I thought of even hitting a female before. There is no excuse to be hitting a woman.
@@dominicanpuro26 alcohol is often the culprit. But as a kid that isnt obviousm. When i was a kid one of the scariest moments was when we were in the car after a birthday and my nephew came outside to the car asking my dad for help because my uncle (his dad) was threatening my aunt with a knife apparently. Then I was too small to act. But now I always react most often in an impulse. But the strange thing is women around me stay in such relationships and I often get friendzoned... somehow this makes me very insecure.
@@dominicanpuro26 my ex partner was the sweetest most loving gentle man I had ever met, then came drink and wow what a difference, Jekyll andHyde I could write the book. I’m so sorry you and your mum went thru that 🤦♀️
This... "practice" of running away. It's a lot like suicidal gestures. She is unconsciously crying out for help, and in meeting this stranger, I think she finally heard what she needed to hear, or at least I hope she did. And she certainly said what she needed to say - she needed to admit that she hates him for this - you have start speaking the truth' in order to know what is even going on with you. This is such a lovely little film.
I witnessed a puke hit his girlfriend once. I was relatively young and in shock, was not experienced in this stuff. I vowed never to be just a bystander and do nothing about it ever again. My wife’s X husband is very respectful towards her now. Well done creators. Actresses BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO! ❤️❤️ 🇨🇦❤️
One thing I’ve never seen depicted before is coercive abuse; the verbal / emotional abuse, not the physical; which in my opinion I believe plays such a bigger role in these abusive relationships. I witnessed a sibling of mine beating women & coercively abusing them (I was a little girl), I grew up with a coercively abusive father; it’s amazing how just a few feet outside the front door everyone things they’re as nice as pie, but behind closed doors they’re the devil reincarnated.
my abuser couldn't hurt me physically even when she tried to take a knife to me. I am physically much stronger than she was and I am a former formally trained fighter. The coercive is much worse and can exist without the physical - the physical cannot last long without the coercive part of the equation,
I imagine passive-aggressive behaviour comes under that, too. I've experienced that myself far too many times from literally hundreds throughout my lifetime What is it about the human race? Can't any of them evolve beyond petty cruelty?
A key line is 9:09: "Everyone else adores him." So she's the whipping boy. He takes out all his frustrations on her and her alone. And she accepts that role -- something the other woman recognizes only too well so makes the correct decision to get on the bus and give up on a lost cause.
That is some of the most incredible acting I've ever seen; those two people are incredible. Amazing film and beautifully shot to boot. Bravo to all involved.
Once they've hit you, it never stops. When you go back you are allowing it to continue. You are basically saying "it's okay if you do this to me because I will always come back". I know because I was there
Good way to look at it. But I think it was more likely to be she had no intention of leaving him so didn't need to pack anything ... it was just an empty threat.
I don't usually pour my heart out but this hits so close to home . I witnessed my dad and step dad abuse my mom and then when I was "old enough" (I was still 13 and a child) they started to abuse me . I'm 30 and been suffering in silence since then... I have trust issues, I don't really have any real connections with anybody and I struggle on a daily basis with my thoughts... To anyone struggling I send you love and peace ❤ keep going ❤😢
Same circumstance i cried watching this. I also tried to leave but am always telling myself maybe he will change but still he cant. We cant change a selfish man. Then am thingking myself, my future,telling myself am not like this before i met him i was different woman. I realized to make a brave decision to leave him. I was right, love those brave woman. 🧡❤
Intimate Partner Abuse (Domestic violence) is a violent cycle that is very hard to break. Very difficult and dangerous for all involved. Especially, when the victim is trying to leave their abuser. Praying for those going through this. Excellent acting.
Very good one, thanks for making this film. Unfortunately I've lost many to this tragedy which Is why i found strength to get out once it happened to me. It is so sad when people allow this to happen. It isn't so much about whether the other person loves you. The question is do you love yourself
Decades ago, I remember a male coworker was angry at a female coworker's S/O because he had given the female coworker a black eye. The male coworker wanted to "teach him a lesson", but she was saying that her bf did it out of "love" because he was mad at her for not wanting to marry him. The male coworker was trying to tell her to leave before he ( the bf-SO) killed her. She refused to see it. She was so protective of him(the abuser). Smh.
One reason that abused people (male & female) don’t leave is that they have to give up everything. They lose their house, their belongings, their known universe as well as their relationship. And they have to admit that what they thought was love isn’t. They have to admit to their family & friends that they made a mistake. They feel ashamed & don’t want people to know that their partner is so f’d up. That they let themselves put up with something that they usually swore they never would. Especially when they’re holding onto that tiny seed of hope that the abuser will be the one to realise they love them truly & genuinely change. And then of course there’s the fear of what happens when their abuser finds them or they have to contact them to arrange child access etc. What happens if they go after their family & friends? Or if they tell malicious lies that affect the relationship with those family & friends. If they go so ballistic over a bad day at work, or dinner not being ready on time, or the towels not being folded right, or you asking if they could just drink a bit less... how will they react at you leaving them. People who think it’s easy to make the decision to leave have never been through it. But the ones who left, who survived & thrived, who got their self esteem back, their sense of self, a new, safe home, new relationships with people who aren’t abusers. They know it’s all worth it. In the end!
Coming from a man , if a man cannot control himself , hits or verbally abuses, leave him and stand on your own two feet. Ironically men if a women does this to you leave her she will find someone else to abuse in no time.
My mom was a victim of domestic abuse and unfortunately I had to hear it every night she was once beaten so hard that she had a brain bleed she had a child with him she lost everyone she loved because my family thought for some reason she was the crazy one she lost me, my brothers, her sister, and her brother no one sent her cards on her birthday except me and my grandma the boy friend still runs free. she now needs to take pills every day she can’t take care of her own kids because she was beaten so hard by him I had to endure all of it by my self because my other brother was in college and my younger brother was only a few months old at the time he’s now five and hasn’t seen his own mother or brothers in five years and the crack addict ex is still taking care of my little brother till this day.
I have been in similar situations when trying to convince an abused person to leave an abused relationship, but mostly to no avail. You see, quite often abused persons almost become institutionalised to being dominated and controlled, similar to prisoners that become accustomed to being restricted and told what to do. Eventually they become subservient and trapped by themselves into being the long and suffering.
A great video. Empathetic writing, acting and direction. It does more in 13:35 than Hollywood in 2 hours. Some think they need a budget of millions, an enormous production cast, big-name actors, expensive sets and petabytes of CGI. But this was very simple. Two people, a bus stop, a footpath, buses, a phone. The result was brilliant.
@@donnamoore4968 My mom stayed for 30 years with my abusive dad. Why would you tell anyone outside this crazy drama what they have to do and not the abusee?????
Relationships are complex without bringing violence into the mix. But having said that, hurtful words can be just as painful, sometimes more so. There were aspects of the dialogue that were so poignant, I could really relate to the story. Very well written & acted.
A very wise cop once told me something about domestic violence. The first time you are attacked, you are a victim. But if you go back and allow it to happen again, you are a volunteer.
A lot of time, the abusers are men of authority, which, yes, included individuals with a badge that took an oath to serve and protect the public. So you tell that very wise cop to protect more than just the shield and voluntarily without hesitation hold the individuals in blue accountable when abuse is witnessed. Also, when an officer shows up for domestic violence calls they are more likely than not to consider it a private affair and either tell the abuser to take a walk to cool off or ask the victim if there is a place that they can stay for the night.
Real deep..very powerful. You should do one with a man as the victim. You never see that and there is alot of abuse towards men that goes unchecked and unpunished
@@TSM8088 More than half of all domestic violence victims are men? Not sure where you got that information, but it's definitely inaccurate. Check the stats from any org that deals with supporting DV survivors, the majority of victims are women and girls. And one of the fastest rising rates are among elderly women, abused by partners, and also family and caregivers. More than half of all DV victims are NOT men.
"Everyone adores him" Of course they do. He's not beating everyone else. He behaves lovely and correctly towards everyone else, but he's beating the one person he claims to love. How does that fit together? Well, it doesn't.
that ending... growing up, i had friends, in high school this was happening, abusers they dated. they thought they could change the abuser and they believed all the lies the abuser told them. No matter what we did or said to help, it came down to the victim making the critical decision to own their lives and take a stand. this should be shown in psych classes like a case study.
You don't need the suitcase .. just leave. Everything you leave behind can be replaced.. YOU cannot be replaced. Anyone in this situation feels trapped .. spread your wings .. it's so much better after you leave.. care about yourself .. it's not "selfish" .. it's self CARE. Health Harmony Peace and Love to ALL
Once you start channelling your optimism in the right direction, life becomes easier, it is hard work, but the day to day worries go away, when you channel your optimism for a lost course, thinking it will get better, you are just in a world of pain and hurt. Stop trying to fix something that is broken and spend your energy on improving something that is perfect in the first place.
@Serenity Klein You are correct of course. I didn't write this to upset anyone. I would love to think if this video helps just one person to get out of the trap they are in, it will be one less person in it. My heart goes out to any woman or indeed any man that for no real fault of their own, find themselves in this situation.
Incredible short story by some amazing actors. Very good work all round. The different angles on the bus stopping scenes really highlights the fact someone is getting on board. That the bus stop is the only light/potential safety. Always blown away by these, don't always enjoy them - but appreciate, definitely. P.S. if you are with a Graham character tell someone who can help ensure you get your things and leave safely.
This is one of those situations, where sometimes you just have to fail a lot to eventually succeed. It's kind of common for domestic violence victims to go back to their abuser, especially if they're good at gaslighting. I had a close family member that would get beaten up but kept going back. She left after particularly bad instances but returned. Finally, by the 4th time, she was successful, and his words became empty and he finally had no real power over her. I'm so thankful she held strong as that is not a life for anyone to live.
Bravo! Deep memories renewed from my childhood and youth similar to the young actress's story line. Thought the noun, drunk was accurately appropriate and very well defined. Thank you.
The abuser is a vampire. They do not have human feelings. They exist to take everything for themselves and to target good & kind people-- because they see in their targets the good that they lack in themselves. All of their accusations are actually confessions--- its all of the things inside that they hate, their own lack of insight and total trainwreck of a psyche. The solution: you can ONLY leave and go "no contact". Do it, but do this in a smart, safe way with help from others, if possible. xx
Wow great acting in this short movie!!!! Most of these short films are wayyyyy better than the big block busters in Hollywood!!! Great job to all!!! This is the ART of acting!!!!
One reason that abused people (male & female) don’t leave is that they have to give up everything. They lose their house, their belongings, their known universe as well as their relationship. And they have to admit that what they thought was love isn’t. They have to admit to their family & friends that they made a mistake. They feel ashamed & don’t want people to know that their partner is so f’d up. That they let themselves put up with something that they usually swore they never would. Especially when they’re holding onto that tiny seed of hope that the abuser will be the one to realise they love them truly & genuinely change. And then of course there’s the fear of what happens when their abuser finds them or they have to contact them to arrange child access etc. What happens if they go after their family & friends? Or if they tell malicious lies that affect the relationship with those family & friends. If they go so ballistic over a bad day at work, or dinner not being ready on time, or the towels not being folded right, or you asking if they could just drink a bit less... how will they react at you leaving them. People who think it’s easy to make the decision to leave have never been through it. But the ones who left, who survived & thrived, who got their self esteem back, their sense of self, a new, safe home, new relationships with people who aren’t abusers. They know it’s all worth it. In the end!
Such a great level of bravery would have been exhibited if the bus stop would have been empty at the end. So sad to be mentally, physically, and emotionally trapped.
![SAFEPLANET - ดาวเคราะห์ [ THE PLANET ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4X1XL3I_k3c/mqdefault.jpg)
That line… “It’s simple, it’’s hard, but it’s simple.” Was so well put and applicable to many things about life. The story was very well done.
She said, "It ain't easy, but it's simple. True yet many things are just not simple.💔
brillant
Easy in a sense it's easy to figure out, hard in a sense it's hard to do...
Yes that line hit me too
...except victim-blaming and shaming around 8:45
As a domestic abuse survivor I sat there at that station for so many years.. After ten i started to value myself. If i would have stayed he would have killed me in front of my children. seventeen years ago i got on that bus. Today i thrive today I am a published short story author. Today I am free. Today i know my worth. Today, I do not fear.
M so happy you took that bus!!! That's amazing!
I hope those who need to hear this, read your story. Having a high regard for your own well being and happiness.💕
Excellent
I’m so glad you left that toxicity. My ex hit once but used manipulation and cohesive control.
I always thought he’d change, and he’d promise with future faking fairytales.
Abusers didn’t change.
They come back and the cycle repeats.
I left and was happy.
@@nicolecarnevale3226 Glad You got out as well Bet life is tons better now!
"Well, this is me. Is this you?" Simply brilliant. What a lovely, heartbreaking piece. Kudos.
I do not get it
The original line I think it's 'This is me, this is you.' Meaning that they're different individuals and get to choose their on choices. But personally, I like your version even more, it's more powerful
@@gianlucaroccasalvo9235 agree. I so wished for her to go with her on the bus.
@@lemat8558 But real life it's not a comercialized movie.
@@p.s.csdeaky8530 of course, I just said I'd wish. Reality is oc not like in the movies. So, I wish, but the ending of the short was REAL. Indeed.
What a profound statement: "She blames everyone around him, but she never blames him".
People who are abused don't stop loving the abuser, they stop loving themselves. 😔
Yep tragic
@Andrea V True. I was one of them. We can heal. It's painful and it's not easy, but so worth it. 💜🙏💜
It's not that they stop loving themselves, it's that they have chosen to value another's life over their own.
@@afterthestorm221 That's an unconscious choice, until you heal and make the subconscious conscious, which is hard emotional work. Trauma-bonding is developed in early childhood, therefore you subconsciously seek the familiar in adulthood.
@@MissPresley69 emotional entanglement.
I spent over 20 years in law enforcement and have seen so many abused women and even a few abused men. It never gets better, it only gets worse. Going back to the same house or apartment multiple times over the course of weeks, months or years, because nothing changes. Domestic violence happens to all types of people, wealthy, poor, educated, uneducated, black, white, Asian… People who abuse don’t ever change.
Watching these videos, you realize the "hollywood actors" you see recycled across film and TV are not necessarily the best choices because of their acting skill.
Yep
I agree.
Agree!
Exactly.
9/10 Hollywood success has little to do with talent alone.
The suitcase was a brilliant metaphor for "I haven't got the guts."
Yesss.
Perfectly.
Your comment gave me goosebumps for some reason.
The other way around buddy.
Empty one
@@petiteverdot6673 what are you on about?
I think that it’s difficult for victims of domestic abuse to accept that the person who’s hurting them doesn’t love them.
I once cared for a woman whose boyfriend severed a tendon in her hand when he cut her with a knife . Many abusers are narcissists who project their feelings of self disgust on their partners. These people are incapable of interacting in a loving nurturing fashion. The honeymoon period that follows each assault is designed to keep you there. The violence is always in the background just waiting for an excuse to raise its ugly head, again . These are high conflict individuals . They blame you for what they do. You will continue to be the object of their hatred and violence until you break the cycle by leaving. Understand that leaving is the most dangerous time in the relationship. You may need an exit plan that involves a safe house .
The most dangerous ones are the ones that let you go without a fight. They will be back in your life somehow, some way and usually right smack dab in the middle of the time you really need someone and it will begin again. The recidivism rate of abused going back to their abusers is much higher than ex-cons going back to prison.
My mom was a victim and unfortunately I had to hear it every night she was once beaten so hard that she had a brain bleed she had a child with him she lost everyone she loved because my family thought for some reason she was the crazy one she lost me, my brothers, her sister, and her brother no one sent her cards on her birthday except me and my grandma the boy friend still runs free because my mom had a brain bleed she now needs to take pills every day she can’t take care of her own kids because she was beaten so hard by him I had to endure all of it by my self because my other brother was in college and my younger brother was only a few months old at the time he’s now five and hasn’t seen his own mother or brother in five years and the crack addict ex is still taking care of my little brother till this day.
I remember watching a horror short film on domestic violence which really captured the physical and emotional feelings, the abuser kept bodily hurting his partner and she would cry and be in pain but then he'd keep doing 'romantic gestures' after each violent attack and she'd ignore the bruises and cuts and pretend it never happened , and he wore a mirror which symbolised a distorted reflection. It's tragic that so many victims can't escape this horrible situation. There's so much manipulation and emotional blackmail. Anyone who lashes out in a ugly way, will 99% keep doing it they'll never change, no matter how many times they try to convince their significant other.
Very true yes. You are very right:(
Well said! You put it perfectly 👌
The empty suitcase is a great metaphor for what she has become. Her entire inner being is gone and now she is just a shell of a person. 😢
One day I said to myself, if I don't get out of here now there won't be enough of me left to pack in a suitcase and go. I made my exit plan at that moment.
Good for you ! I’m so happy for you and to hear you made your break .
“It ain’t easy, but it’s simple.” That one will stick with me for a while.
The actors are outstanding.
I agree! The young girl also stars in The Haunting of Bly Manor, crazy thing is she looks much younger here and Bly Manor came out last year! Tahirah Sharif is a great actress for sure to pull of both roles and them being so different! If you have Netflix I urge you to give it a watch!
@@ItsAlwaysTime4Tea So talented and she is drop dead gorgeous, too!
The best way I’ve heard abuse explained is .
Hurt people hurt people . But you can’t fix them , move on and never look back !
Two beautiful & talented actresses! This was incredibly touching & in this case the younger woman showed such wisdom & despite her 'irritated' exterior was incredibly kind. I hope next time the suitcase is full & she has the incredible courage clarity & strength to board the bus! Thanks Omletto for raising awareness of such an important issue which affects men too!
It is better to leave with an empty suitcase, instead of living an empty life.
Powerful and well said
An empty suitcase could also mean "starting from scratch elsewhere". However, her face doesn't mean that...
100
Sadly, this is more common than it should be..
Not just marriages, but also relationships. And not just women, for men as well.. Humans need to do a better job.
They should make another film with the scenario reversed. More than half of all domestic abuse victims are men. Sadly, there is no support for them, only stigmatization, physical pain, and mental anguish.
@@TSM8088 I am a woman and I believe in equality in every sense and support the one who needs support irrespective of gender.. and yes I agree it has been a stereotype for men to be blamed more often but that is based on experience and past evidences. I do agree that has started to change and anyone can turn out to be a victim and we must not assume..
I also wanted to address this point in a comment. I knew a man who was physically abused by his girlfriend. In fact she would brag about giving him a bloody nose etc. It was absolutely nauseating and I had no idea what to do. He eventually got out of that relationship thank god. I was asking advise from my mother and after I told her she just brushed the topic aside claiming there was no way a woman could physically abuse a man. I tried to explain but she thought I was overreacting. It’s a shame that people think and react this way. I really wish the media and others would shed more light on the reality of how common situations like this are so men would feel less shame about coming forward and getting help.
SAME FOR DA GODS AND GODESSSES
How nice is it to have someone else carry the "invisible baggage" for a little while.
To lighten the burden enough to be able to come up for a breath of logical perspective.
💚
you catched the picture well
You can't help someone who doesn't wanna be helped.
Abuse victims are so run down by the abuse that they can’t think straight. You need to help them get out of the abusive relationship.
Frfr
@Sheeth Sheeth, Agreed....
Extrapolating from the books I've read, it's not that the victim doesn't want to be helped. It's that the victim does not want to realize that the person who they think is the most important in their lives is THAT bad. That they really are alone. That the relationship which they thought would give meaning to their life is really meaningless. That they have to step outside, into the Unknown, to get out. All that is really painful to realize.
Human psyche always tends to choose moderate, but long and unproductive pain instead of strong pain, which is short and allowing to grow afterward. Psychologists call all such similar phenomena as "coping mechanisms".
If I had an audience with the Mother Nature (I know, I know, I'm audacious...), that's one of the things I would ask - what kind of designer allows such unfortunate mistakes in her creations ?
@@Hexanitrobenzene I agree. And that doesn't contradict with what I said :)
Great to have been part of helping this film to get made, and fantastic to see it on this platform! :) Well done Paul Murphy and the rest of the cast and crew who made this!
It was very well done thank you 😊
Congratulations! It's a brilliant film!
Any abuse isn’t good and it’s never okay to blame the victim. 😓
- my ex was the SAME. he emotionally abused me in private and everyone on the outside thought so many great things about him.
that's exactly what they do and when you are losing your mind they have their mask of perfection on so when you act out or emotionally you look like the crazy one - it's so effective and complete evil.
same here, it hurts everytime a family or friend brings him up and says how good he was to me, the emotional and psychological stuff is just as bad as physical
@@jnb756 yes!!! They get others to turn on you. So subtlety too… even your own family starts to doubt you. It’s incredibly painful and lonely. No one seems to understand.
Mine was a dr jekyll/Mr Hyde. Then I moved into Satan himself. Like the girl said. It's simple but hard. When I decided to leave the second abuser, I took a deep breathe and plunged into the depths of hell for about 6 mos. But, I came out of it alive
Lots of love and healing light to you @jazzy j, and everyone else who has gone through this.
The young actress was pretty! Sometimes you can't help people. The older woman was more afraid of the unknown than her abusive husband. She knew what to expect but to leave she did not know. If she killed him, most likely she would get involved with another abuser. She needs psychological care. I will never forget when a woman's boyfriend shot half of her face off and stayed away from her, she called him trying to find out if they could get back together. He refused to get back with her. We know that the abuser has major problems but the victim also has grave psychological issues.
The young actress is called Tahirah Sharif. She's a brilliant actress.
Helping abused women is akin to helping drug addicts. They are so addicted to these men that ‘love’ them it’s hard to break through to them and free them from their abusers.
Easier said than done.
Things change so fast. Everyone else thinks he is kind, sweet and loving and so did you. At first, you can't come to terms with the fact that this monster is the same man you fell in love with and married. Surely this must be a one-off incident. He must have had a bad day. You DID upset him by doing that minor thing that he hates. If things can change for the worse, they can also change for the better...so you can fix him...he just needs time and patience. It's too soon to give up on him. And before you know it, this has been going on for years and it has changed YOU instead of him. You are thrashed black and blue for an inadvertent mistake (or not even that), over and over for years so how do you suddenly find the courage to deliberately do something that you know will send him into an uncontrollable rage?
It's not that they are addicted to the man or their 'love'. They're scared out of the wits. So they come up with all kinds of excuses like "he needs me" or "I have to stay for the sake of the kids" "No one will believe me" "If I go to he willl hurt them too".
There's no love left for that monster or she wouldn't want him dead. That love is replaced by fear.
@@silverkittyzen also by the time it gets to years the emotional abuse leaves you with no self esteem what so ever and you think that's all you deserve
@@resolecca
💓💗You deserve better, you deserve to be truly loved and cherished in the healthiest way from a wholesome person, regardless of gender/age
we can reset out mind. The problem lies deeper in our childhood too for most of us.
Took me quite a few months to realize I was an abused man.
Well drug addicts are burdens that shouldnt be helped
That's how my husband was everyone loved him and didn't see the drunken abuse.smfh
You okay lady? I hope he isn't around anymore.
Wow that sucks, I grew up seeing my mom getting mistreated by her boyfriend but yet here I am a grown man and never have I thought of even hitting a female before. There is no excuse to be hitting a woman.
@@dominicanpuro26 alcohol is often the culprit. But as a kid that isnt obviousm. When i was a kid one of the scariest moments was when we were in the car after a birthday and my nephew came outside to the car asking my dad for help because my uncle (his dad) was threatening my aunt with a knife apparently. Then I was too small to act. But now I always react most often in an impulse. But the strange thing is women around me stay in such relationships and I often get friendzoned... somehow this makes me very insecure.
How come you, you didn't tell anyone
@@dominicanpuro26 my ex partner was the sweetest most loving gentle man I had ever met, then came drink and wow what a difference, Jekyll andHyde I could write the book. I’m so sorry you and your mum went thru that 🤦♀️
This... "practice" of running away. It's a lot like suicidal gestures. She is unconsciously crying out for help, and in meeting this stranger, I think she finally heard what she needed to hear, or at least I hope she did. And she certainly said what she needed to say - she needed to admit that she hates him for this - you have
start speaking the truth' in order to know what is even going on with you. This is such a lovely little film.
I witnessed a puke hit his girlfriend once. I was relatively young and in shock, was not experienced in this stuff. I vowed never to be just a bystander and do nothing about it ever again.
My wife’s X husband is very respectful towards her now.
Well done creators. Actresses BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO! ❤️❤️
🇨🇦❤️
I mean Canadians are famous of being nice so that's good
@@DanDCool very much stereotype
One thing I’ve never seen depicted before is coercive abuse; the verbal / emotional abuse, not the physical; which in my opinion I believe plays such a bigger role in these abusive relationships. I witnessed a sibling of mine beating women & coercively abusing them (I was a little girl), I grew up with a coercively abusive father; it’s amazing how just a few feet outside the front door everyone things they’re as nice as pie, but behind closed doors they’re the devil reincarnated.
That animated movie Tangled shows a good example of an emotional abuser in the mother.
my abuser couldn't hurt me physically even when she tried to take a knife to me. I am physically much stronger than she was and I am a former formally trained fighter. The coercive is much worse and can exist without the physical - the physical cannot last long without the coercive part of the equation,
There's one called Jessica Jones, and another show called something like Gaslight. Apparently they depict it.
You should search “the stained club” one of my favorite animated short films cause it talks about the different types of abuse, including emotional
I imagine passive-aggressive behaviour comes under that, too. I've experienced that myself far too many times from literally hundreds throughout my lifetime
What is it about the human race? Can't any of them evolve beyond petty cruelty?
Watching clips like this makes me happy im living the single life...
Not all relationships are abusive. But there's that risk.
A key line is 9:09:
"Everyone else adores him."
So she's the whipping boy. He takes out all his frustrations on her and her alone. And she accepts that role -- something the other woman recognizes only too well so makes the correct decision to get on the bus and give up on a lost cause.
@Serenity Klein
Who knows? We can imagine an extended version of the video where the woman with the suitcase gets on the next bus.
That is some of the most incredible acting I've ever seen; those two people are incredible. Amazing film and beautifully shot to boot. Bravo to all involved.
Once they've hit you, it never stops. When you go back you are allowing it to continue. You are basically saying "it's okay if you do this to me because I will always come back". I know because I was there
i 'm a man and this short film was AMAZING, Heart breaking also a the same time, Acting was out of this world. Thank you for sharing it.....Peace
Had an emotionally abusive girlfriend once. About the 3rd time...I left.
I'm a guy too.
glad you got out bro
@@justsomerandombirdwithinte5896 Thanks dude
Oh good. Sorry you had to go through that
@@vm2113 Thanks. 😊
Good for you.
Where I live this is so common and it freaking hurts to see.
Where do u live bro?
With such a statement you are just begging to be asked, where do you live. So ?
Where do you live?
@@Hexanitrobenzene are u mad or what, jealously at its best
@@Hexanitrobenzene Honduras.
The suitcase represented her inner self. Empty
Good way to look at it. But I think it was more likely to be she had no intention of leaving him so didn't need to pack anything ... it was just an empty threat.
@@martinwebb1681 both
Those two things and also a metaphor for having no guts.
I don't usually pour my heart out but this hits so close to home . I witnessed my dad and step dad abuse my mom and then when I was "old enough" (I was still 13 and a child) they started to abuse me . I'm 30 and been suffering in silence since then... I have trust issues, I don't really have any real connections with anybody and I struggle on a daily basis with my thoughts...
To anyone struggling I send you love and peace ❤ keep going ❤😢
Once it happens there will never be a safe place again.
Sometimes strangers understands you the best😥
Same circumstance i cried watching this. I also tried to leave but am always telling myself maybe he will change but still he cant. We cant change a selfish man. Then am thingking myself, my future,telling myself am not like this before i met him i was different woman. I realized to make a brave decision to leave him. I was right, love those brave woman. 🧡❤
To live in fear is a terrible thing
This made me cry. It's really beautiful. Really sad. And very true to life.
love has nothing to do with any abusive relationship. Control has everything to do with all abusive relationships.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Incredible acting on a issue that needs highlighting. Bravo!
Intimate Partner Abuse (Domestic violence) is a violent cycle that is very hard to break. Very difficult and dangerous for all involved. Especially, when the victim is trying to leave their abuser. Praying for those going through this. Excellent acting.
I've never been in that type of situation but one thing I do know; Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on me.
This is heartbreaking but so true to life. This is a message the needs to be shared.
Every time I hear about abuse, I have flashbacks about my childhood. I'm reminded that I lost it the moment I was first hit.
Keep your head up, Annamary Ibarra.....💙💚💛💜♥
This breaks my heart to see as well
Very good one, thanks for making this film. Unfortunately I've lost many to this tragedy which Is why i found strength to get out once it happened to me. It is so sad when people allow this to happen. It isn't so much about whether the other person loves you. The question is do you love yourself
Decades ago, I remember a male coworker was angry at a female coworker's S/O because he had given the female coworker a black eye. The male coworker wanted to "teach him a lesson", but she was saying that her bf did it out of "love" because he was mad at her for not wanting to marry him. The male coworker was trying to tell her to leave before he ( the bf-SO) killed her. She refused to see it. She was so protective of him(the abuser). Smh.
One reason that abused people (male & female) don’t leave is that they have to give up everything. They lose their house, their belongings, their known universe as well as their relationship. And they have to admit that what they thought was love isn’t. They have to admit to their family & friends that they made a mistake. They feel ashamed & don’t want people to know that their partner is so f’d up. That they let themselves put up with something that they usually swore they never would. Especially when they’re holding onto that tiny seed of hope that the abuser will be the one to realise they love them truly & genuinely change. And then of course there’s the fear of what happens when their abuser finds them or they have to contact them to arrange child access etc. What happens if they go after their family & friends? Or if they tell malicious lies that affect the relationship with those family & friends. If they go so ballistic over a bad day at work, or dinner not being ready on time, or the towels not being folded right, or you asking if they could just drink a bit less... how will they react at you leaving them. People who think it’s easy to make the decision to leave have never been through it. But the ones who left, who survived & thrived, who got their self esteem back, their sense of self, a new, safe home, new relationships with people who aren’t abusers. They know it’s all worth it. In the end!
There's always another bus coming.
"well this is me, this is you " if you have the guts to love yourself than THIS IS YOU !
Coming from a man , if a man cannot control himself , hits or verbally abuses,
leave him and stand on your own two feet. Ironically men if a women does this to you leave her she will find someone else to abuse in no time.
My mom was a victim of domestic abuse and unfortunately I had to hear it every night she was once beaten so hard that she had a brain bleed she had a child with him she lost everyone she loved because my family thought for some reason she was the crazy one she lost me, my brothers, her sister, and her brother no one sent her cards on her birthday except me and my grandma the boy friend still runs free. she now needs to take pills every day she can’t take care of her own kids because she was beaten so hard by him I had to endure all of it by my self because my other brother was in college and my younger brother was only a few months old at the time he’s now five and hasn’t seen his own mother or brothers in five years and the crack addict ex is still taking care of my little brother till this day.
I have been in similar situations when trying to convince an abused person to leave an abused relationship, but mostly to no avail.
You see, quite often abused persons almost become institutionalised to being dominated and controlled, similar to prisoners that become accustomed to being restricted and told what to do.
Eventually they become subservient and trapped by themselves into being the long and suffering.
It is all bollocks. The minute a man treats you like a subject, rather than a Queen, leave.
Wow, a few years ago , I was that woman. If this video was out back then, would I have listened? Not certain.
A great video. Empathetic writing, acting and direction. It does more in 13:35 than Hollywood in 2 hours. Some think they need a budget of millions, an enormous production cast, big-name actors, expensive sets and petabytes of CGI. But this was very simple. Two people, a bus stop, a footpath, buses, a phone. The result was brilliant.
Show,don’t tell. It’s extremely difficult. Good acting. Respect to them.
Some people you just can't save.
But u have to keep trying for their sake
@@donnamoore4968 My mom stayed for 30 years with my abusive dad. Why would you tell anyone outside this crazy drama what they have to do and not the abusee?????
Relationships are complex without bringing violence into the mix. But having said that, hurtful words can be just as painful, sometimes more so. There were aspects of the dialogue that were so poignant, I could really relate to the story. Very well written & acted.
Maybe I'm lucky in not having any relationships of any kind. They're too complex for me. I prefer to keep humanity at arms length
A very wise cop once told me something about domestic violence.
The first time you are attacked, you are a victim.
But if you go back and allow it to happen again, you are a volunteer.
A lot of time, the abusers are men of authority, which, yes, included individuals with a badge that took an oath to serve and protect the public. So you tell that very wise cop to protect more than just the shield and voluntarily without hesitation hold the individuals in blue accountable when abuse is witnessed. Also, when an officer shows up for domestic violence calls they are more likely than not to consider it a private affair and either tell the abuser to take a walk to cool off or ask the victim if there is a place that they can stay for the night.
That young lady is so beautiful....as far as the situation all I can say is...dont save her...she don't wanna be saved.
It's good to read through the comments, to understand how others translated the message in their own words, it gave me greater understanding.
It is a shame there is not enough support for woman, and men, who face this crisis.
Well done on this film.
If only she had the Lifetime Network, she would have seen this coming years ago
The first time you are hit...leave
Excellent!
Well played , well done.
We so wish that will be a wake up call ! For all this women !
and men*
It's The Black Girl For Me A Sister Warrior... This Was Great Short
Real deep..very powerful. You should do one with a man as the victim. You never see that and there is alot of abuse towards men that goes unchecked and unpunished
Yes. More attention should be directed to male victims of domestic abuse. More than half of all victims are men.
@@TSM8088 And where did that statistic come from??
@@MsZephyra Does it matter?
@@TSM8088 More than half of all domestic violence victims are men? Not sure where you got that information, but it's definitely inaccurate. Check the stats from any org that deals with supporting DV survivors, the majority of victims are women and girls. And one of the fastest rising rates are among elderly women, abused by partners, and also family and caregivers. More than half of all DV victims are NOT men.
These films never fail to impress me 😄
This one did. Too overly stereotypical.
its corny af
"Everyone adores him" Of course they do. He's not beating everyone else. He behaves lovely and correctly towards everyone else, but he's beating the one person he claims to love. How does that fit together? Well, it doesn't.
that ending...
growing up, i had friends, in high school this was happening, abusers they dated. they thought they could change the abuser and they believed all the lies the abuser told them. No matter what we did or said to help, it came down to the victim making the critical decision to own their lives and take a stand. this should be shown in psych classes like a case study.
Such a too-common, achingly sad story - beautifully and sensitively produced, directed, filmed and acted/👏🏻👏🏻💔
'It's ur problem, not mine' has turned this world ruthless
You don't need the suitcase .. just leave. Everything you leave behind can be replaced.. YOU cannot be replaced. Anyone in this situation feels trapped .. spread your wings .. it's so much better after you leave.. care about yourself .. it's not "selfish" .. it's self CARE.
Health Harmony Peace and Love to ALL
Once you start channelling your optimism in the right direction, life becomes easier, it is hard work, but the day to day worries go away, when you channel your optimism for a lost course, thinking it will get better, you are just in a world of pain and hurt. Stop trying to fix something that is broken and spend your energy on improving something that is perfect in the first place.
That is a powerful statement with great meaning, i hope many receive it.
Very inspiring comment...well said...thank you.
@Serenity Klein You are correct of course. I didn't write this to upset anyone. I would love to think if this video helps just one person to get out of the trap they are in, it will be one less person in it. My heart goes out to any woman or indeed any man that for no real fault of their own, find themselves in this situation.
Woah powerful and needed. Needs to be shown all over the world as there are psycho abusive men all over.
Deeply touching. Both actresses were Amazing
Incredible short story by some amazing actors. Very good work all round. The different angles on the bus stopping scenes really highlights the fact someone is getting on board. That the bus stop is the only light/potential safety. Always blown away by these, don't always enjoy them - but appreciate, definitely.
P.S. if you are with a Graham character tell someone who can help ensure you get your things and leave safely.
So sad. To know so many are suffering in silence.😭
Me and my mother went through what the black girl went through. This was another great one omeleto.
Great acting! Both of them were amazing! It felt so real!
Some years down the line, that would have been me, had I not had the guts to do the simple yet difficult thing.
Thank you for this beautiful piece
My father was handsome, charming, really smart, and he was a brutal drunk, and no one really believed it. They said, “oh, not Jack.”
Wonderful to see an Omeleto from Britain. Only seen American fare thus far. These "shorts" are brilliant.
the unhealed traumas that can lead one into the depths of abuse & isolation thou.
I was waiting for some subversive twist. Glad there wasn’t one. A topic like this deserves to have its spotlight straightforward. Well done.
We need to do more about this
This is one of those situations, where sometimes you just have to fail a lot to eventually succeed. It's kind of common for domestic violence victims to go back to their abuser, especially if they're good at gaslighting. I had a close family member that would get beaten up but kept going back. She left after particularly bad instances but returned. Finally, by the 4th time, she was successful, and his words became empty and he finally had no real power over her. I'm so thankful she held strong as that is not a life for anyone to live.
I think the old school kinda ringtone of the phone of that troubled woman irritated that girl.
The ringtone was incredibly irritating.
the past she wouldn't let go of was calling her back home
Bravo! Deep memories renewed from my childhood and youth similar to the young actress's story line. Thought the noun, drunk was accurately appropriate and very well defined. Thank you.
Open-ended... That's reality.
This was reeeeally good. 👌🏾
The abuser is a vampire. They do not have human feelings. They exist to take everything for themselves and to target good & kind people-- because they see in their targets the good that they lack in themselves. All of their accusations are actually confessions--- its all of the things inside that they hate, their own lack of insight and total trainwreck of a psyche. The solution: you can ONLY leave and go "no contact". Do it, but do this in a smart, safe way with help from others, if possible. xx
Wow great acting in this short movie!!!! Most of these short films are wayyyyy better than the big block busters in Hollywood!!! Great job to all!!! This is the ART of acting!!!!
I knew she'd be sitting there.. because I am.
Don't.
I love the last line of this film. Wow what a great piece!!
The fact that she left with Empty Suitcase says it all.
One reason that abused people (male & female) don’t leave is that they have to give up everything. They lose their house, their belongings, their known universe as well as their relationship. And they have to admit that what they thought was love isn’t. They have to admit to their family & friends that they made a mistake. They feel ashamed & don’t want people to know that their partner is so f’d up. That they let themselves put up with something that they usually swore they never would. Especially when they’re holding onto that tiny seed of hope that the abuser will be the one to realise they love them truly & genuinely change. And then of course there’s the fear of what happens when their abuser finds them or they have to contact them to arrange child access etc. What happens if they go after their family & friends? Or if they tell malicious lies that affect the relationship with those family & friends. If they go so ballistic over a bad day at work, or dinner not being ready on time, or the towels not being folded right, or you asking if they could just drink a bit less... how will they react at you leaving them. People who think it’s easy to make the decision to leave have never been through it. But the ones who left, who survived & thrived, who got their self esteem back, their sense of self, a new, safe home, new relationships with people who aren’t abusers. They know it’s all worth it. In the end!
Such a great level of bravery would have been exhibited if the bus stop would have been empty at the end. So sad to be mentally, physically, and emotionally trapped.
Strangers come up to me all the like this & tell me their stories.. I don’t even know why .. I’m not that friendly even 🤷♀️
Maybe its your name:_Pussnugget?
@@Heart2HeartBooks lmao
@@Heart2HeartBooks LOL