HISTORY OF IDEAS - Dating
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- The way we date nowadays has a history that it pays to try to understand as we navigate the ups and downs of the dating game. Never before in history have we had such high expectations of dating - and rarely have we been more confused.
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FURTHER READING
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“Our present dating habits can feel like a natural part of existence, but in reality, they’ve only been around for a very short time and, we predict, won’t continue for too much longer in their current form. Dating has a history, which it pays to try to understand as we navigate the ritual’s paradoxical and often confusing priorities. Let’s take a selective look backwards - as well as a peak forwards - at the history and future of dating...”
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Produced in collaboration with:
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The history of dating is an interesting and varied one. What are your thoughts on the future of dating? Let us know in the comments below. If you like this film be sure to subscribe to our channel and turn on notifications.
A deregulated sexual and romantic marketplace or tournament style dating has several long term consequences. Sure casual dating and casual sex offers freedom of choice but it is not a solution to creating long term pair-bonding and healthy families.
Synthetic love availability will probably lead to people being more patient in choosing partners and so having more time to heal between relationships and in other varied contexts. This isnt a personal interest so much as an extrapolation in counterfactual form. I wouldn't be surprised if, thanks to the advent of life extension, the concept of marriage for life fell off except in extreme or special cases. Most having understood the history of dating and been through divorce by the age of 100. The development of medical technology to the point of removing and virul or bacterial infection at a 1:1 ratio may render the population hedonistic to a T which may lead down a path to either greater general animal mindsets or a general dismissal of the relevance of sexuality to love.
Thanks for great video btw
The School of Life with AI I was kinda hoping for a mention of love bots as potential partners. I can’t do the flesh thing any longer.
If this is how it will be in 2075 I will probably still reject it and do my own thing.
It's always fascinating to see the evolution of behaviour. What we think is perfectly normal, 20,30,100 years ago could be totally
unfathomable.
Aaron *Someone* got romantically rejected too many times! 🤣
Freedom Strider why is this number so specific
As an Arab Muslim who travels to Europe every five weeks or so, I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Freedom Strider that's I read ancient and old books to give me a voice from another age which held different values .
Monkey Bones I think he means 20 years, 30 years, or 100 years
Didn’t expect the ending to see what it could be in the future, it was a nice touch well done!
1. Once I was playing chess with a friend of mine who is an excelllent chess player. I was used to always losing when we played but I still loved it! One day, just before he only had to make a few moves to win, he said " because today is your birthday, we can turn the board at this point. So you'll get my position and hopefully win this time". What a gentleman! He offered me all those figures in the best possible position, but since I wasn't a good player, I didn't know what to do with them and once again I have lost!
Well there is a life lesson in there too. I would be very happy for the people in the future, if they could so easily find the perfect partners for themselves, but if they don't get the necessary emotional education, I am afraid they will still fail.
2. Since there is a lesson about almost anything on this wonderful channel, the video called " On finding the right one" explains this much better!
3. And I am sure, even a hundred years from now, the following podcast episode with Alain de Botton ( the founder of this channel ) will help many people:
" On Being with Krista Tippett, The True Hard Work of Love and Relationships"
4. There is a wonderful movie called " Her" that gave me a lot to think about...I never thought that a movie about a man who falls in love with a software would move me to tears. I highly recommend it!
5. And there is a very interesting Hidden Brain podcast about the history of marriage. It is called:
" When Did Marraige Become So Hard".
You can also complement it with another episode:
"The Lonely American Man".
6. Friends who want to know about technology and divorce, the following podcast episode may help you to get divorced less painfully:
" Note to Self . Wevorce: What Divorce by Algorithm Means for Marriage."
Thanks a lot for this wonderful lesson. It was terribly interesting. Let's hope that everyone in a hundred years from now, will know about TSOL and they will watch all these videos as a part of their emotional education and they will suffer much less and they will be much better people than us!
I don't think dating is going anywhere good. But this video is very thought-provoking!
Maybe if women focus on selfies and makeup more instead of pulling their weight in a relationship that will help.
Thanks for always reminding me I’m alone in the morning, School of life!
Hey SchoolOfLife! Can you please do a video about having fake friends? As in feeling paranoid about not having anyone who honestly cares for you outside of your family, feeling very alone and socially awkward even though you have certain people who you tend to hang out with...?
Hello there! I thought you may like this video: th-cam.com/video/aGedUxTAfBk/w-d-xo.html
Best wishes :- )
There is no divine or intrinsic value placed on marriage these days so I think dating will become more and more pointless for those actually looking for something serious
I think this is the best and most relatable comment on here.
In 'Don Quixote', by Cervantes, there is already an episode in which he talks about the importance of love and the feeling of young people for marriage, as well as the need for parents to guarantee the mutual convenience of this union.
It's been a while since you guys posted about the history of anything, miss these.
I think that there should be a medium between the head and the heart when it comes to dating. And I believe that although many more people nowadays get divorced, that doesn’t necessarily correlate perfectly to happiness in marriage. It is much more acceptable to get a divorce now than it ever has been, which not only would make one think that people would’ve used to get divorced more had they the choice, but also that people now don’t feel the pressure to work extremely difficult problems out, because they can just leave.
Wasn't Romeo And Juliet written almost 200 years before Julie? And since the play features two people falling in love despite families being rivals,it shows that the idea of dating someone purely out of love had been explored before Julie.
See you all in 2075...
For real, I hate dating
This video brought me in to mind the song “in the year 2525” it’s like for told future
21 and never dated
@ somebody has some depression issues
Gena Holden why are you so triggered
And I'm 27!
I'm miserable on that side of my life!
I'm not even lacking on looks, "member", education, social skill, and whatever else.
Our own primal decisions for the rest of our life should be built up, not decided in just one moment. Memories build into the passionate moments.
this is pretty thought provoking, thank you! especially the future view. I wonder how it‘s gonna be, very exciting!
i think it might have been more relevant to not pick royalty or high class for all the examples though
I read your essay! But it’s pleasure to see this.
Love how you guys can see into the future
I think these should just be called the European history of dating
Interesting
Exactly
2075... people change and selection is for the moment and both can change
Amazing!!every day I watch a new one
Marrying for love might not make u happier than marrying for money. In the latter option you are at least rich and free from the obligation of working. Love marriages are often some struggle love scenario where u are not valued and the man is always feeling insecure about his manliness cos he can't provide.
plus people sleep around too much these days. having sex with someone is not a part of 'getting to know' them. sex has high value. women need to realize this and use it as leverage in getting what they want in life.
The narrative of this content is imbued with inspiration. A book with related themes deeply influenced me. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
The German title for this video says "The history of dating (but dating like dating an event)". It would fit better if it was "Die Geschichte des Datings"
Can somebody tell me the name and artist of the painting at 1:55? It's so beautiful!
Funny, in the past our parents shaped our lives and decisions. We went in going against our parents/guardians to manage our lives until now we use technology to look for our other halves..
What video editor software do you guys use?
Can that machine come out sooner? I don't want to wait until i am in my 70s to have the option of that machine;lord knows i can't find them myself.
Can anyone add Arabic subtitles? I really love this channel but sometimes I don't understand english subtitles
The future seems like an episode from Black Mirror kill the DJ
I do "diarrhea of the mind" type posting (I'm sorry). Whether they try to appear as such or not the president of School of Life (Alain Botton) looks like a sort of secular-leaning humanities conservative to outside eyes. If you want peasant studies history, it is out there. There are web pages. There are college classes (young people take advantage of this especially). I like the orthodox approach to history (it's not going anywhere), I always find counter-narratives fascinating however.
This certainly only applies to western culture. In almost the rest of the world, arranged marriage and matchmaking is the norm
2075 was unsettling.
Thank you!
german translation of the title on utube is terrible! "Datierung" doesnt mean dating. Not dating in the sense of meeting a person. Datierung means age determination
Really interesting as usual! Thank you. BTW, the chess board is wrongly set!
I loved listening to Alain's Ted Talks and was interested in this channel at first. But, not so much anymore.
Time to move on. The infatuation is over.
The translation of the title to german is wrong. Except that, awesome content.
This interesting video made me think of the time my ex dumped me because he felt I didn’t need him and I was too self reliant or whatever...that we would probably end up divorcing because I hurt his ego way too often, also because my own parents were divorced and I was too practical for his taste. Put me off dating for some time to say the least. But hey, there’s hope...in 2057 😂
person in 2080:
oh, I wish I lived in 2018, dating sounds fun, although I know I would regret it, people got divorced back then.
5:30 - nice
Take me to 2075
Do you know who’s the man on minute 0:10 ?
5:30 didn't know The School of Life caught up to meme these day.
6:45 it’s 2024 and ai is already here 😄😄
OMG SINGAPORE! MY COUNTRY! IM A SINGAPOREAN!!!!!!!!!
What about the time before 1400? Didn't the people go after their attraction? At least the early humans?
0:09 ¡un Macri salvaje ha aparecido!
6:36 Singapore yay
I don't know whether or not starting with western society is the right place for this subject
There isn't a problem with marriage in the modern world, there is a problem with dating. If divorce happens more than long term relationships, then people are using the wrong means of finding a partner.
Family man/woman ( responsible) and sexual freedom ( see rockets every single time) are completely different. most times you wont find everything in the same person. Open and honest dialog will help to sort out 60% of the foolishness the other 40 all physical
I as a religious Jew don’t think that sex or physical intimacy should be part of dating and I don’t think the decision to marry someone should be based on emotion rather it should be based on mainly reason, meaning a date should ideally be two people having a sophisticated discussion about their values and goals to see if they are compatible. Even if they have the “feeling of love” during that process that doesn’t mean that they could or do love each other, because that feeling is very shallow and it only means that there’s a possible potential for love in their marriage. Meaning people shouldn’t marry because they love each other they should marry because they want to develop a love for each other.
2075 - A return to “arranged marriages”
very interesting video but the "history" comes only from elites. I'm sure things were different for the poor, there was probably a lot more couples getting together who just liked each other, plus the old equivalent of a 'shotgun' wedding (hhmmm... crossbow wedding?)
*2075 is an episode of Black Mirror*
Que hace Mauriii
Singapore 2075 huh 🤔 55 years is far too long
I love this guy's voice. Who is he? So soothing.
Thought-provoking vision of the future... I don't think people will forego following their feelinhs completely just to save themselves the suffering of a potential separation/divorce. I don't see a future teen not falling in love with his/her classmate. If they use AI in the future to find the right person (or narrow down the choice to a collection of 'compatible partners') they might do it "once they are ready to settle" (and once they have enough of suffering ;p ). Even if they are educated to believe this is the only and best way to meet someone , this will not prevent some people from 'accidentally' falling in love. All we need to do is look at cultures where matchmaking is the standard and you get the picture of 2075! (but with only happy marriages I presume, cause human match making can be faulty sometimes). The issue can be put otherwise as well: today, would you erase and rather not have lived relationships from your past that "failed"?
6:40 didn't know I was watching exurb1a
Que hace Macri ahí! Jajaja
Lo viste aca primero, Macri se separó de Awada
Yaaay I am single...
6:38 had to check that this wasn't an exurb1a vid
2075 let's go!!!
macriii
It's funny how most "historical" videos focus 95% of the history on Europe or the U.S. as if the rest of the world had no dating/courting/marriage practices at all.
Who else got an ad for a dating site? 😂
thank you! I needed this.
The idea that the first true AIs would make choosing our romantic partners for us their first full time occupation seems a bit narcissistic to me...
The problem with dating nowadays its that we still believe we have to find "the love of your life" and it must have all the Disney qualities of a prince or a princess wich is stupid. Even when we think consciously that that is a naive idea, we have been trained for so many years to think like that and we do it subconsciously. Thanks to that idea we live in constant dispair and dissapointment when we realize no one checks all our expectations. And when we felt they do fulfill our unrealistic expectations, the feeling vanishes after 6-12 months. Because "romantic love" is just the instrument that the will of species use to manipulate individuals to procreate as Schopenhauer pointed out and know is scientifically proven that we literaly get a pump of dopamine that only last certain period of time when we are "in love".
So my advice to make dating less frustrating is reduce your expectations, be curious about what the person is instead of judging them for what they are not but they "should" be. Also seek someone who has similar passions, humor, character and hobbies than you. Those are the things that are left over after the drug period. It is more like searching a good friend. And stop forcing relationships thinking it should last forever or longer. If it doesnt work just doesnt work. Nobody has a real special one, so dont feel bad about breaking up with someone!
thats great advice
needpit1 would this apply to gay couples too? Due to the fact that they cannot physically procreate, what would be the intention behind romantic love?
@@sujeyocegueda3930 Of course, Sujey. Same sex couples also drive by sexual feeling (instinct) as well in beginning; we all do. Romantic love is the feeling that we seek that make us feel like we have a place we belong too. This is what needpit1 and even video suggested, instinct is a good starting mechanism however as a creature of ever ending desires, we will crave for more than just instinct; i.e. passions, humor, character and hobbies in other words support. The foundation of who we are and what we will become is what make a couple work; physically procreate is nothing more than by product that come along with human expectation. Sorry I rambling on. :)
shut up
Can’t argue with that
I believe that western societies went from an extreme to another extreme. Going from reason over feelings to feelings over reason (especially physical attractiveness). I think that it's better to have a middle ground for relationships to last. Parents should guide us but not control us, and we really should never rely only on physical attractiveness. We should get to know a person for who they are before making any decision. Furthermore, when it finally comes to making a decision, we need to use our brain in addition to our heart and not just follow our heart blindly. Also, getting advice from others is important and I believe the best ones to get advice from are our parents.
It's just my opinion in the end so...
Do whatever dafuq you wanna do!
hodgetwins mhmmm
While going from one extreme
to another isn't the best, I don't think there should be too many social rules about dating/relationships. It's up for the people in the relationship to do as they see fit
@@azoz273 I actually agree right there.
You skipped over the bit where divorce became acceptable.
Abyssal86 fortunately
He also brushed off to where the status and money stopped being important only for the females, Male suitors still have to equate or surpass the female's current status.
Aaron don't overthink ...just live your life men
Aaron
Well said, either ethnostates will emerge in the west or Islam will take over. This degeneracy of the modern west will collapse from its weak pillars.
@Aaron
You started off quite well then descended into hitler speech territory.
Babies getting engaged! Making all the single and looking folk feel bad 🙈
Why? I don't understand.
That's why we have you...to engage them in science, Katie ;)
Most girls feel that marriage as such a drag as they're enjoying their free, wild spirit and "testing" the market and enjoying themselves without responsibility.
But as soon as they see a colleague or mutual friend get engaged on facebook/instagram, they immediately feel left out and envious.
Funny how that works eh?
Spoiler, Arthur and Catherine of Aragon never got married. Long engagements, aye? She married his little brother Henry instead, and I haven't finished reading about their marriage, but they have a beautiful, sane baby girl and I guess they live happily ever after.
Science with Katie There are child prodigies in every practice lmfao
Loved the lack of music background in this video. I appreciate the voice of the wonderful Alain, and I was able to follow the story much much better. Also the graphics and animations impecable ✨✨✨✨👍🏼 and Omg 2075? God have mercy
Black Mirror "Hang the DJ" episode shows a little bit more about the last case from the video
Lucian Ghiță I was just thinking about that episode once the segment came up.
Yes definitely
Psycho-pass comes to mind too. And other titles in which some machine decides what is destined for individual humans.
Peace Guard *Sees Psycho-Pass* I too am a man of culture LOL
Man, I was literally searching the comments before commenting the exact same thing
Never had a dating. Don't even know what questions and what kind of conversations happens there.
Same
It’s basically a job interview. They just size you up to see if you can be a good provider.
RealKeyyy lol!
Trust me ,You don’t miss much
I've never had any kind other than online dating. It's always been miserable.
I love how the one isn’t even a person😂
😭😂😂😂😂
Well, in my culture your husband is still chosen by your family, or at least should be accepted by them. Moreover, it is often important to understand whether they come from a good family. This history is mostly based on the 'western' world. Dating isn't something common in many countries across the world.
Lucky
*I think love should be BALANCE between feeling and reason. Having reason over feeling nor feeling over reason kinda bit extreme I guess* We ofc can't live without money nor social status, yet we still need to have feelings (physically n emotionally attracted) to that person, so I think finding the balance is very important. But yeah it's just my opinion, still it's up to you to do wth you wanna do in your life😄
It's so interesting how art expresses clearly ideas that were previously laying dormant in everyones subconscious. Also known as the "aha moment"
Would be nicer if the videos weren't so centered on the West. I think that the Asian, Latin American, African, and the Pacific regions also have their own stories to share.
Also, can't help but notice that the video overlooks the somewhat modern phenomenon of "ghosting" (or did I miss that??) because I honestly find that development very ubiquitous in modern dating. Would also be nice if it featured/highlighted , perhaps, the occurrence and prevalence of memes & celebrity statements online that help change society's viewpoints of modern dating, such as on cheating, on what age to start dating seriously, and on what age is it considered that one is mature enough to make decisions on dating.
All in all, still a very good video. What more to expect from Alain and The School of Life. Much love from the Philippines!
I agree.
Agree and similar to the west
Definitely understand the sentiment, and agree with you wholeheartedly that much can be learned from cultures outside the West.
That being said, this channel (it seems to me) is more focused on creating videos surrounding the canon of western civilization, as we’ve come to understand it, from its natural evolution from Greek antiquity to now. I do believe there are other videos that focus on Chinese and Tibetan philosophers, and consider also that they are actively creating new videos, so perhaps we haven’t seen the full extent of what they plan to do in respect to eastern philosophies.!
Be the change you want to see and start creating those videos. Personality I'm completely happy with the topics they cover in their videos.
Those people can make their own videos instead of waiting for this channel to do it for them.
While people are young most of them date for bedroom activities. When people are more mature in age, they often date to find a lifelong partner.
I'm young (20) and I date for long term commitment or to find a lifelong partner. I don't know why age is such a big deal when it comes to dating, I don't want to just have sex.
Maryam - Master of Movement how many men have you slept with? If it’s over 3 then your just like everyone else but think your different.
Thanks Captain Obvious. You say the stupidest shit on this channel. Stop fishing for views until you have something unique to say.
@@JolinHard
1 😂 kinda sad you assume that. Geez, why so bitter. I am pretty different. Sorry to hear you most likely date girls who sleep around.
For someone with a title as "Unleashing Potential - psychology videos", you have the most pseudo-scientific comments laced with this faux intellectualism that is pretty pathetic.
Your sophistication is at a level of a freshman high schooler--NOT a mature/graduate student of Psychology.
You forgot September 12th, 2012: tinder was launched.
0:09 Macri Gato a la vista!!
quien es la flaca de la foto, alguien sabe?
Andrés Descalzo alguna bailarina de tango profesional seguro
Jajajaja sabía que alguien me iba a ganar lpm
The concept of the man asking the woman out for an evening is really new thing. It used to be that the man would come "calling" to the woman's house, present his card and then have tea and cakes with her while her mother hovered around. The idea of two people going out is part of the freedom that took part in the 1920s. There are no plays, novels, or literature of any kind showing "dating" before this. Just check out the plays of Wilde or Shaw. Both always relied on a "class" division among people. For that matter all the Gilbert and Sullivan musicals surround class.
Great! Only 57 more years to go!
Dating is a taboo in India. Is it considered as a terrible crime, especially when their children choose partners with low/high social status and castes. It is sooo much worse in India that many boys are being killed by the girls family members.
Do you know any videos/articles about that? Sounds interesting!
In 2018? Wow...
And girls are killed in "honour killings" for the same reason.
Not entirely true, urban areas especially the cities of Delhi (my home) and Bombay are quite westernized and love marriages are a common occurrence, hell even my parents have had love marriage and we are talking about 80's here. Sure there are SOME instances of the incidents the OP has said but MOSTLY killings are not as common and in bigger cities (small towns are rapidly growing bigger) they are non existent.
at least tragic...?!
A very interesting summary. You’re going to get a lot of people complaining that this is centred on the west though - again
the school of western life
He's european, british, of course he is going to focus on the history of the continent and country he is most knowledgeable about. If you wish to see something about Africa, Asia, etc, why not make it yourself? He's western, he lives in the West, there's nothing wrong with it being focused on such.
*Olive* You are totally right.
In asia it quite simillar to the west when comes to marriage. We are humans and all the same.
title is translated to dating in the meaning of age determination in german ("datierung")
All of this sounds so very unpleasant. Especially the idea of having sex before marrying, rather than testing your compatibility in other ways before committing to a lifelong relationship and having sex.
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the more you mature the more you realize it's importance
meaning you realise that it's meaningless?
Ah yes! The salt shaker intro!
2075 sounds lowkey boring af
You skipped a little bit about the fact when the divorce became acceptable and having mistress became unacceptable..
I’m surprised you skipped that 80% of women are chasing 10% of men. The future of dating is a few wealthy husbands having many wives and concubines. Few men are happy. All women want more.