It's such a small moment, but I love how it's Ricky who gives her the microphone. The other kid there who knows exactly what's it's like to be unheard and unseen.
Setting aside everything else that's deeply profound about this monologue: I just want to take a second to acknowledge the creepiness of that carnie. It's really obvious from the way she said that "you should always laugh at guys' jokes or they'll think you're a cow" that this is just a really insecure KID. He took advantage of an insecure teenager, in an obvious school uniform, to have sex in a portapotty. That's really fucked up.
Her only “official” sexual experience was that. It was one of her last experiences. She believed that losing her virginity in this manner was something that she deserved because she was Constance Blackwood and she didn’t deserve better. That’s brutally sad.
Like I love the Ballad of Jane Doe, but goddamn Sugarcloud makes me feel everything. It is a song about life, how it has its ups and down, and how when you accept it for all it is nothing can bother you
i think what makes it extra sad is the sheer HAPPINESS of it. we know jane's situation is real fucked up but she gets to go back to being alive afterwards. constance finally realizes how amazing life is, and it's TOO LATE. she'll never get to enjoy the things she's talking about ever again. honestly, i don't think anyone realizes how precious their lives are until they're faced with death. me included.
Her favorite ride was the infamous cyclone itself It is not her favorite because it killed all of them, but because it made her realize how great her life was
OCEAN NEVER KNEW ANY OF THIS, EITHER, WHICH HURTS. Ocean loved Constance, I really do think that she did, but she was working all the time for school and the choir, so she probably never had time to hang out with her, I honestly wonder how awful she felt hearing about all this. ://
i like that since theyre not being controlled anymore theyre all just slightly out of sync while dancing. theyre all giving their own little twists on the choreography its cute
i've rewatched this song so many times so i can focus on one character at a time tbh. it's so sweet seeing all the kids just being themselves and being excited to hype up their friend. 😭 the recorder solo part with noel and mischa headbanging is so cute i could scream
I love how in this song the other kids are dancing in the background and are always surrounding her. She's the spotlight. She's never overshadowed by someone else, and the kids are all being very supportive of her. It's exactly what she needed in life. Nobody, not even her best friend, gave her the attention. But she finally got it, and it ended up being some of her last memories.
I also like how it seems like they get to be more free with their movements. In the other songs it’s all choreographed by Karnak, so seeing them get to have more control during those last 2 numbers was nice :)
He may not remember her with his own memories, but Constance's family sounds like they'd keep her memory alive. It's so sad to think that he's never going to have any actual memories of his sister, but he'll be able to remember her through the shared memories of the family
Growing up fat, and having skinny "friends" like Ocean, Constance hits entirely too hard. I actually had to pause and just take a breath after "always laugh at guys' jokes or they'll think you're a cow". bc that's literally my experience. And Ocean being like "does she have self-esteem issues. sure. WHY WOULDN'T SHE". just. ugh. literally felt like I was watching my life up until I was like 24 in her. underrated character for sure
I relate to her character a lot too but I am actually skinny and I'm male by the way. I relate to the bits about how she won the award for nicest girl and everyone wrote about how they never really knew her but she seemed nice. That hits hard for me because so many people always say they are my friends and that I'm nice and things but noone actually talks to me or anything in school except if the happen to pass me. And when she says about going to parties and pretending like she's going to have a perfect time. I've never been to a party because who would even invite me to one but when I go to school or anything I always tell myself how I'm going to have a perfect day and pretend and try to put on a facade of some happiness. It never lasts nor works but still. Her character is really relatable to me even if she isn't my favourite generally. Generally I like Noel because I wish I could be more like him in some ways and he's also just funny to watch. I also like Ocean so much because I just like those ambitious self absorbed characters lol.
100% agree about the "laugh at guys jokes" line. This monologue hit me way harder than I ever expected a musical with a number about a space cat Jesus to ever hit.
Hot take: Sugar Cloud hits harder than any other song in the musical for me. Yes, more than the Ballad of Jane Doe, Talia, It’s Not A Game/It’s Just A Ride. Something about hearing a kid find a love for life again, for all of the simple and easily overlooked parts of life again, after years of silent depression is just gut-wrenching and heartbreaking but hopeful in ways I cannot put into words. I love Constance, I love this song.
I absolutely love The Ballad of Jane Doe just as a performance piece, but Sugar Cloud knocks every other song down a peg. It leads into the vote and It’s Not a Game/It’s Just a Ride. It’s what really turns the show from a tragedy fest to a celebration of life with a positive takeaway.
I love the fact that Noel and Mischa should be actually a bit drunk during this scene, as they were drinking together right before it. Explains their little dorky synced dance during the recorder solo to me haha
something that i really love about the choreography of the overall musical, is that you can tell that everyone puts forth a different personality and interpretation of the moves. like, no one told them how to feel about it. it just adds so much character and i love it
no fr . you can see especially in this that ocean’s and jane’s movements are so different especially towards the end. like oceans are more confidently done and much larger movements, where jane just looks like she’s doing what was choreographed, which isnt a bad thing cause of the whole lack of identity thing . ricky’s are a lot more jumpy, lik he’s making up for the lack of mobility in his life, yet noel’s movements are more soft, and i hate to say it, stereotypical gay man, which is literally what he is. also the fact noel and ricky especially react positively to the confetti but in different ways makes me happy . and about mischa, he has that kind of bored attitude with his usually choreography, but you can tell he puts in a little more effort in this than usual
@@si_vu Noel is surprised and shocked at the confetti, but goes along with it, while Ricky almost gets more excited when he sees the confetti and starts smiling even wider.
I am not a man who cries often, yet I sob like a baby every time her monologue and song comes on. I am so happy for her. I am so fucking proud and I haven’t even gotten to know her for over two hours. She is alive, in spirit
I like how Sugar Cloud’s choreography feels less forced compared to the start of the play. It’s like Karnak knew he didn’t have to force the students into roles at this point. They’re all joining in of their own accord, no costumes needed, just being themselves, dancing in their own way but still in sync with each other, giving undivided attention to Constance. You see that same kind of choreography in “it’s just a ride” as well. After starting out this journey with so much discourse, they are finally “in sync” with one another.
The thing about the monologue, the thing that made me start bawling, is it's so incredibly cruel. It's heavily implied that Constance was depressed, or had otherwise become numb to the world. She spent years suffering in silence, wrapped up in self-loathing and regret, incapable of expressing herself. The Cyclone, the omen of death, is her favourite ride. Maybe its even her favourite BECAUSE it crashed. And when the Cyclone starts to crash, she's flying: all those feelings she thought she'd lost, that she hadn't felt in forever, came rushing back all at once, in one perfect, beautiful epiphany. She realised how wonderful life could truly be. And then she died. After suffering for years, she's only allowed to live, to feel herself living, right as its about to be snatched away. For the last few seconds of her life, she realises how much she's going to miss it. What she's forced to leave behind. Life is cruel to her even in death. It isn't release. It's robbery. And that's the most tragic thing of all
The person that plays Constance is unbelievably talented and her voice just gives me chills I feel like she is so underated this song has to be my favorite
Constance’s monologue is one of the saddest I have ever heard and there is a lot to look into but I saw discussed on a video compilation of the choreography that all the characters songs have choreographed that seem like the character is controlling them in a way but with constance the choreography is imperfect. Noel and Ricky get caught off guard by the confetti, at one point they are all doing different things that don’t go together or are even dancing, and they all look so genuinely happy. Constance doesn’t control them for her song they are all imperfect teenagers who are having real fun for the last time ever before their inevitable death and that is all she want for her and them. This song os so bittersweet to me. Seeing Micha and Noel head bang while Jane is bopping out holding the microphone and Constance is playing the flute like instrument makes me so happy.
okay, okay, but if the soloist are controlling their backround performers then can we discuss what that implies? like, I feel like Ocean insulting the choir is THE LEAST PROBLEMATIC THING that happened during the performances.
@@meepbeep2464Karnak choreographed some things for them, supposedly. Their wishes and experiences direct what happens onstage, but Karnak did all the choices for choreography. But yes, there might be something Noel put out into the world that got kind of… unconsensual.
This song feels like dancing in the rain. It’s cold, the your clothes are soggy, but you have never felt so alive. It comes right after such a heartbreaking monologue, one that speaks to me personally. And my god. Singing this song, with tears streaming down my face, was one of the best moments of my life. Everything felt so raw, but euphoric. I felt so sad but so so happy. Thank you.
So… I lost my virginity to a carnie in a porta potty before I died. Like three hours before. It was kinda porno. He was ancient. Like 32. He had this tattoo on his forearm: it was of two skeletons having sex. It said born to bone on the bottom. I fake laughed when he said that because you should always laugh at guy’s jokes or they’ll think you’re a cow. My mom and dad owned the Blackwood Cafe in town. It's been in our family since like, forever. The Blackwoods have been feeding Uranium City since they opened the mines. My family had pride when it came to that. Until I went to high school. Where having pride about our town was only like, the lamest thing you could think to believe. After a while I started feeling kinda crummy about stuff, like ashamed. At the cafe I would catch myself looking at my mom and thinking, what a loser. A stupid dead end loser in a stupid dead end town. My parents were good people. And all I could do was think horrible things about them. I really wish I’d never thought those things. But I got so angry that I was born in the only family in Uranium that raised their kid to think it was okay to do your working, living, and dying there and it… It got all kinds of poison after that. Anyway, my virginity. I just wanted to get it out of the way. I just wanted to do it so I didn’t have to think about doing it anymore. No… Actually… I just wanted to lose it. In the worst horrible possible way. Constance the lifer lost it to a carnie in a crap box in a crappy town. Why of course she did. And then.. I rode the cyclone with the other kids in the choir. And that’s when the accident happened. We were at the top of the loop when the roller coaster made this kind of screaming metal sound. Sparks were shooting all over the place and then the screaming and the sparks just stopped. And there was like this… weightlessness. My heart jumped a gazillion beats a second but I didn’t scream like the other kids, no. I was just soaking it all in. Cuz on a certain level it was so rad. And it was like something unlocked in me. My heart welled up with all this love for everything. Images and all this feeling flooded into me like… like climbing back into my bed in the morning and feeling the warmth left over from my body. Hanging upside down from the monkey bars until my head starts to tingle. Smelling jiffy markers. Putting glue on my fingers and chewing it off, listening to music and dancing around my room before going out to a party and pretending like i'm going to have the perfect time. Finishing an essay, undoing a knot, pizza night, halloween, watching my baby brother dance naked to abba, being in the choir at the height of the hallelujah chorus and feeling all of the voices rattle my bones. I started laughing like a crazy person, giddy with endorphins. All dancing leprechauns, and rainbows and unicorns, streams of chocolate, whirling rides, flashing lights - there's no shame in loving my small town. The only good things that happened to me happened in Uranium. It took a horrible accident for me to realize how goddamn wonderful everything is.
Dear lord, this show hits me so hard. I've also been there and been "the nicest kid in town" and I know what it's like to be forgotten and left behind like this. I've never seen a character hit so close to home for me. The only one who's ever even come close is Sonya from Great Comet
I didn’t cry for the entirety of ride the cyclone. Not Even for ballad of jane doe or Talia. But Constance’s monologue, and Sugar Cloud, got me SOBBING. I was going through a tough time when it came to the concept of death when I watched the show for the first time, and her monologue genuinely pulled me out of that constant fear and paranoia I was feeling. Her song reminded me about all the amazing little bits of life and childhood. How even if I could die at any moment there will always be those little happy memories to be proud of. This made me proud of who I am know, instead of scared I’ll never grow old enough to become something greater.
I'm performing her monologue from "I rode the cyclone with the other kids and thats when the accident happened" for an audition this weekend. is there anything I can do that you can think that could bring some of that?
this is how I felt about It's not a game/it's just a ride, it still highlights the fact we can't control what happens in our lives, how long we live, when we die, and what happens after it. But, despite all the nihilism(? not sure if I am using that word right) it send the message that controlling is not the point, its about being content with what you can control and just enjoy life.
Also Connie was probably one of the few people that treated him like he was a teenager unlike Ocean who treated him like a toddler. Probably why she was chosen to play his mum during the flashback sequence.
I wonder if Ocean mentioning how Constance was gonna be a "soccer mom" in the future was foreshadowing of how her life actually would have ended up, had she not gone on the cyclone. Constance had just lost her virginity, and most likely wasn't wearing a condom or on birth control. Maybe if she hadn't gotten on the cyclone, she might have ended up pregnant and a single mom. I dont know, just a midnight thought I had
All things considered, it’s safe to assume that though Ocean's putting them down was cruel and a very narcissistic thing to do, realistically she would be mostly right. The other students would have ended up living those lives, and with how Constance got into a situation only stopped by her death, it nearly got realised.
Bruh this fandom is so problematic. 😓😓Nothing in Ocean's song was right because Ocean was too self-centered to realize shit about the other choir members, even her best friend. So to think her assessments of them have any weight is disgusting. Why would you say "she most likely wasn't on birth control" most 17-year-old girls are even if they aren't having sex actively. This just tells me you are a kid. We'll never know what Constance would have become, that is the point. And the point of the whole entire musical was that her life was just as valuable as Ocean's along with the other choir members. But no, when you guys aren't ignoring her the fandom has to always make Constance out to be stupid, boring, and unsuccessful for some reason. Probably because she isn't a skinny and white female character. The whole point is that the choir was so much more than what people thought of them, especially what Ocean thought of them. Ocean even SAYS this herself. Yet you people don't have the empathy to get the whole point of this musical.
“I just wanted to lose it in the most horrible possible way” hits hard for me. I did that too, only a year or two older than her. Poor self esteem and thinking your life will go nowhere makes you do stupid shit and get taken advantage of by shitty people.
constance my BABY i love her so much. her monologue hits me in a super personal place, and the way lillian performs her is just impeccable. growing up a mousy, nerdy, scaredy kid i relate a lot to this character-- but it hurts more knowing she never had the chance to grow up and find herself like i did :( like yeah ik she's a fictional high schooler from the rollercoaster musical but still EDIT: i'm in tears as the song starts...and then i see jane dancing her lil spooky heart out lmao. bless her
Something I love about this "version" of the song is, that the flute-part goes high and not low like on spotify etc. it was probs not on purpose but in my opinion its better this way
I could write a whole essay about Constance’s experiences and how I relate to them cause gosh. Her mindset about things is so similar to mine, I bet if I would have been in her shoes I would have ended up like her.
I relate to Constance alot more than i should. I was a kid born in a small middle of nowhere town in Oklahoma. But i wanted nothing more than to leave but, being outside of that dumbass town right now makes me feel sick. That stupid town is where i met some of my closest friends, where i discovered my true gender identity. Where I've lived for as long as I can remember. I could never leave this town i love it here
this song hurts in all the best ways, and her monologue gets me every time. i wish there was more fan content that delved into her character, especially the carnie. it really fascinates me, and i just wish people talked about it more, and about how horrible the carnie is, constance was only seventeen and he was 32. i just wish it was talked about more.
Out of all the songs in the musical, this one hit me the most. Not because I can relate to the character honestly. But because it's suuuch a healthy mindset that I often tend to forget. Wrapping my hear around being productive and aiming high, sometimes you forget what happiness the little things can bring you. Reminds me how my most beloved time of the day would be coming home late after highschool and gym, and I would just drop on the floor for my little dog to come by to greet me and lay down next to me. She might be gone now, but there's always a chance to love life in all its ups and down
i honestly relate to Constance a lot, and something that hits me the most when listening to this is “watching my baby brother dance naked to ABBA.” I’ve had so many thoughts about just ending it all. every single day, every week, every month, every year. I’ve thought of it. I’ve thought of giving up, I’ve thought of just putting myself out of my misery because why not? everyone’s better without me anyways, I’m pathetic and don’t deserve to be loved, I’m a useless whore of a daughter that isn’t capable of being “normal” or being pretty or being liked or being loved or just simply being cared for by my own parents. I don’t deserve a life, right? and it’s true. all of those things are true. but then i remember my brother. he’s 8, currently. I’m 4 years older than him. I remember my friends online, even though one of them kinda left me I still have my online family. I remember my pets. my cat, my dogs. my brother is probably one of the most important things in my life. he makes everything better. I remember watching him in the bath as a baby and cleaning him while my mom was busy, playing games with him, watching him as a baby dance in his diaper to some dumb song on the TV, sleeping together and holding him in my arms listening to his little breaths and the feeling of his back moving up and down against my forehead. what kind of sister would I be to just leave him behind? to leave my brother just a boy? I refuse to make my brother, the boy I protect from my parents and comfort him when they’re arguing or mad, the boy I basically mothered at 8 years old because my dad was deployed and my mom was too tired or busy to do it, the boy who’s tears I wiped, I REFUSE to make him an only child. until I finally give up and can’t keep going anymore, I’ll be there for him. ill watch him dance in pajamas to songs he likes and play games with him and have fights with him just to make up right after and hold him in my arms, to listen to his tiny breaths and embrace the feeling of his back rising up and down against my forehead. until then, I’ll stay here to take care of him and protect him from my parents. 4:45
I promise you that there is more good in the world than you will ever be able to see and all those things you said aren’t true. You are so young and I was you once, and you can’t even begin to imagine the changes your life will bring and they won’t all be good but life is not stagnet. This isn’t forever, and if you can hold on, for your brother and your pets and your friends, there will be something else, and there will be so much more to love and explore. Please don’t kill yourself
I'm sorry. I hope everything gets better. Please do not kill yourself, you seem like a very good person, the world needs people like you. I hope you get to see your brother grow up, I hope everything goes well for the two of you. Sorry, I am not good at communicating my thoughts, this comment is the best I could do. I hope everything goes well in your life and your brother's life.
3:30 Saving this for an audition to practice! We were at the top of the loop when the roller coaster made this kind of screaming metal sound. Sparks were shooting all over the place and then the screaming and the sparks just stopped. And there was like this… weightlessness. My heart jumped a gazillion beats a second but I didn’t scream like the other kids, no. I was just soaking it all in. 'Cause on a certain level it was so rad. And it was like something unlocked in me. My heart welled up with all this love for everything. Images and all this feeling flooded into me like… like climbing back into my bed in the morning and feeling the warmth left over from my body. Hanging upside down from the monkey bars until my head starts to tingle. Smelling jiffy markers. Putting glue on my fingers and chewing it off, listening to music and dancing around my room before going out to a party and pretending like I'm going to have the perfect time. Finishing an essay, undoing a knot, pizza night, Halloween, watching my baby brother dance naked to ABBA, being in the choir at the height of the Hallelujah chorus and feeling all of the voices rattle my bones. I started laughing like a crazy person, giddy with endorphins. All dancing leprechauns, and rainbows and unicorns, streams of chocolate, whirling rides, flashing lights - there's no shame in loving my small town. The only good things that happened to me happened in Uranium. It took a horrible accident for me to realize how goddamn wonderful everything is.
Her monologue always hit me so hard, it makes me realize how much I love living despite the amount of time I spend thinking about how much I don't want to. It makes me remember the times that I do feel pure happiness and how much I wanna stay around just for those moments even if it is hard.
Hold on...is the carnie the same dude that plays Virgil, just without the mask? That's so brilliant. It's a way of showing just how much of a creep the carnie was. He was a literal rat. I can't believe I'm just now noticing that
As far as I’m aware, usually one of the choir members is the rat in a typical seven performer production. The choir plays all the extra roles with costumes, props, and occasionally silly voices.
I wonder how Ocean felt after this. I mean, Ocean made fun of so many people, but calling Constance a "soccer mom" and saying she has confidence issues must've hit hard after knowing what she went through
Ok, we all know how amazing and emotional this is, I'm not lying when I say I cried multiple times during her monologue and song. But Noel and Mischa headbanging together was oddly adorable and gives me the will to live. Just Noel looking over and seeing Mischa headbanging and joining in, it's makes me smile everytime.
8:32 I know she was probably supposed to but I love Ocean just looking straight at Constance, like the stage direction says she does at the end, "as if seeing her friend for the first time." This whole part of the show (Jawbreaker monologue, Sugar Cloud, Ocean's silent apology) hits me sosososo hard. I love this show SO MUCH!!!
I totally agree, this version just has infinitely more emotion and pathos. This feels like a full release of it all, it feels more sterile on the recording. Which sucks cause this song is everything to me
Seriously they did! Lillian Costello still knocked it out of the park, but God damn were the lyric, orchestration, and vocal direction changes so fucking unnecessary
enough about nischa. let my lady constance have her MOMENT constance did NOT be a pushover all musical just for you guys to (for her ONE MOMENT) talk about other characters. almost every comment is about noel or mischa and it is making me go ballsack crazy. yes i get it: nischa is cool. gus halper is hot. ocean is lowkey feeling it. BUT EVERY COMMENT IS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE. constance is very well developed and you all do not see that because YOU ALL PUSH HER ASIDE TOO and you only pay attention to your queerbaited ships. read a room (yes i am a salty lillian castillo dickrider leave me alone)
Lyrics to this version of the song! 5:31 [CONSTANCE] I used to think that life was just a jawbreaker Yeah you suck, and you suck, and you suck, and you suck And you suck some more Yeah, you suck some more At first, it seemed so sweet And the colors come and go Like the seasons come and go The slush and rain and snow 'til you can't taste no more [CHOIR] So you suck some more [CONSTANCE] I used to think that life was just a heartbreaker That just breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks And it breaks 'til you can't break no more [CHOIR] 'Til you can't take no more [CHOIR (except CONSTANCE)] AAAH...OOH AAAH...OOH [CONSTANCE] I see the world with all its backwards upside down There's nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town Oh, everything's clеar Now that I'm here on my sugar cloud Oh my soul it sings a song so sweet and pure I'vе felt it all along but now I'm sure Oh everything's love, looking down from above On my sugar cloud Let me take you away, to a sky of cotton candy Show you the world from on high Up-up-up-up and above, oh my sugarcoated dandy Will you love me 'til the day that I die? For a day- I see the gold, I see the pink, I see the blue The sun goes up, the sun goes down Oh what to do? Oh everything's clear, now that I'm here On my sugar cloud [FLUTE SOLO! :D] [CHOIR (CONSTANCE)] I used to think that life was just a jawbreaker (Jawbreaker!) You suck, and you suck, And you suck some more I used to think that life was just a heartbreaker [ALL] It burns and it turns 'til you can't take no more [CONSTANCE] And now I'm floating high on a cloud And I could puke a rainbow [CHOIR] Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh La la la la la! (party popper) [CONSTANCE] I see the world with all its backwards upside down There's nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town Oh, everything's clear Now that I'm here on my sugar cloud Now everything's love, looking down from above On my sugar cloud Now everything's clear Now that I'm here on my sugar cloud Look at me now on my Sugar cloud 🤘
I think the monologue captures teenage insecurity and misunderstanding of the world around them. Constance was just a teenager who had the angst, the culture of the school ruined what was so true and wholesome. A family proud of the work they put into their life and she was just too young and inexperienced to understand that until it was too late. Being the nicest kid in school; she wanted just attention to be more than just this nice kid who really was not noteworthy outside of her compliance and kindness. Her insecurities about her home life, circumstances, and pressures of her peers just had her internalize such awful thoughts. Even going as far to just sleep with a carnie just to be part of the culture.. She at least lost her virginity like all the other girls... right? But all it takes is one awful accident or event to put EVERYTHING into perspective. That there is some gold in the all the grim. Her kindness is not a weakness or flaw, just a talent she didn't realize the beauty in the good things she's experienced and given. Everything she's enjoyed and all is better than she really ever gave it credit for.
This out of every other part was the one that made me cry upon my first watching (And my second) This monologue and song illustrates the feeling I could never describe before And I love this musical so much
This whole,,,, EVERYTHING makes me cry every time without fail. The bit where she's almost crying because she hates how she thought bad about her parents. Remembering all the little good things in life as she was dying. THE BIT WHERE SHE SAID SHE DIED LAUGHING???? Can we talk a bit about that please?? She was clearly so sad in life, always underappreciated, shoved to the side, not gonna diagnose anyone but given what I'm going through right now and Constance's monologue I would bet she had depression, and yet when push finally came to shove the thing that she thought about in her final moments was everything she enjoyed. A rush of happiness that she rarely felt finally pushed through the walls and just- you heard what she said. "I started laughing like a crazy person, giddy with endorphins." Idk I just relate to Constance on a lot of levels (I too am a teenager with probably depression who is constantly in crisis, reduced to the "nice girl" (which is even worse bc I'm 90% sure that I'm not even fully a girl-), and thinking horrible things about my amazing parents and hating myself for it) and her entire monologue makes me cry every single time. But also the fact that she was happy during her last moments in life gives me hope, in a morbid sort of way?? If you know that you can experience joy and life in even the most horrible of moments, then it's not impossible to experience it on a normal day too, if that makes sense :/ (also I really really love the beginning of sugar cloud. Like the quiet "I used to think that life was just a jawbreaker" 5:32 to about 7:11 just hits me so hard
I've spent 2022 battling an illness and depression. This year I started working and to some people it might seem dull but honestly, it's so fun to appreciate the little things that come with it. Watching opossums steal cat's food, meeting someone named Bruce Lee, just drinking some coffee with my colleagues while waiting for the rain to pass... It makes me feel more alive than ever. I totally relate to this song
But the entire point of the show is that when you live there's no need to come back. That even though their lives were short they were still full. So that would ruin the message.
they don’t come back with the memories of limbo. and the only reason she is content with her town is because she died l if she were to come back she would just continue hating her town and hating her family
This is and forever will be my favorite version of the song AND my favorite RTC song, combines with the monologue it rasonates insanely with me. I had gone through some pretty big life changes when i watched the musical for the first time and this whole part left me jawdropped, istg i LOVE everything about this musical--
the whole show kinda feels like that-- cute/funny moments followed by something absolutely heartbreaking, or that but in reverse RtC has such a unique vibe, i feel like the emotional whiplash (or perhaps...an emotional rollercoaster? lmao) suits the story and characters super well.
Does anyone seeing this know of any links in the naming of constance blackwood in rtc and the constance blackwood in Shirley Jackson's 'we have always lived in the castle' as an obscure name, I'm guessing they're connected. If so it gives insight into constances family's pride in their home town which is so ironically opposite in the novel and also the sense of isolation at home. I'm sure there's much more I could pick out but just wanted to know if people could comment more :)
i wish i knew about rtc a year sooner. last year in english class our final was to analyze and perform a monologue, and i wish i had known about this one because i relate to it a lot (more the "only one who doesn't hate the small town i grew up in" part than the "lost her v card to a carnie in a portapotty" part) and it really hits hard. i wish that sentiment was something i could have expressed then
Link to download
Edit: something happened to the file in the link and the google drive so i used gofile
gofile.io/d/PJOP3G
Thank you so much!!!
Wait do you have her just saying her monologue cause that’s the only part I need
@@itz.relinda9275 that google drive is the full slime tutorial but you can probably crop it to the parts you want :)
@@notquinn oh ok thanks for letting me know! :)
@@itz.relinda9275 o pop Pop lol
It's such a small moment, but I love how it's Ricky who gives her the microphone. The other kid there who knows exactly what's it's like to be unheard and unseen.
also love the theory that he represents acceptance, Constance accepting her life made her realize that it was beautiful.
Setting aside everything else that's deeply profound about this monologue: I just want to take a second to acknowledge the creepiness of that carnie. It's really obvious from the way she said that "you should always laugh at guys' jokes or they'll think you're a cow" that this is just a really insecure KID. He took advantage of an insecure teenager, in an obvious school uniform, to have sex in a portapotty. That's really fucked up.
I hadn't even thought about that
Also, she said he was like 32 and she's 17. He was definitely a creep.
Her only “official” sexual experience was that. It was one of her last experiences. She believed that losing her virginity in this manner was something that she deserved because she was Constance Blackwood and she didn’t deserve better. That’s brutally sad.
Basically:Carnie is a creep and sexually manipulated Constance by using her insecurity.
Yeah, it kind of took me out of the show for a second because the thought disturbed me so much
Jane Doe's number was indeed heart-wrenching but this monologue just hit me at a sore spot
Like I love the Ballad of Jane Doe, but goddamn Sugarcloud makes me feel everything. It is a song about life, how it has its ups and down, and how when you accept it for all it is nothing can bother you
i think what makes it extra sad is the sheer HAPPINESS of it. we know jane's situation is real fucked up but she gets to go back to being alive afterwards. constance finally realizes how amazing life is, and it's TOO LATE. she'll never get to enjoy the things she's talking about ever again. honestly, i don't think anyone realizes how precious their lives are until they're faced with death. me included.
Her favorite ride was the infamous cyclone itself
It is not her favorite because it killed all of them, but because it made her realize how great her life was
and the worst part of that is it wasn't the actual ride, but the fall that made her realise how great everything was.
@@-nutella Hey are you trying to make me cry??? 😭
@@-nutellaFR.
ocean mouthing the words im sorry to constance after this broke meeeee
when?
@@pianolover3711 it's not in the video but it's when Ocean and Constance hold hands, Ocean mouths I'm sorry
OCEAN NEVER KNEW ANY OF THIS, EITHER, WHICH HURTS.
Ocean loved Constance, I really do think that she did, but she was working all the time for school and the choir, so she probably never had time to hang out with her, I honestly wonder how awful she felt hearing about all this. ://
I DIDN'T SEE BUT THAT IS SO CUTE 😢😢
i like that since theyre not being controlled anymore theyre all just slightly out of sync while dancing. theyre all giving their own little twists on the choreography its cute
i've rewatched this song so many times so i can focus on one character at a time tbh. it's so sweet seeing all the kids just being themselves and being excited to hype up their friend. 😭 the recorder solo part with noel and mischa headbanging is so cute i could scream
Can we talk about Jane being so mesmerised by Constance
she's so cute during the recorder solo 🥺 jane is such a sweetie
I like to think that although she lost all her memories, Jane feels drawn to Constance because of her kindness.
honestly i would be too if i saw someone that pretty for the first time in my life (or death)
They are the best two characters in the whole show! A❤❤
sugardolls so real
I love how in this song the other kids are dancing in the background and are always surrounding her. She's the spotlight. She's never overshadowed by someone else, and the kids are all being very supportive of her. It's exactly what she needed in life. Nobody, not even her best friend, gave her the attention. But she finally got it, and it ended up being some of her last memories.
its what she was in her dreams, loved and seen
I'm not even kidding this comment gave me chills
this made me sob uncontrollably
I also like how it seems like they get to be more free with their movements. In the other songs it’s all choreographed by Karnak, so seeing them get to have more control during those last 2 numbers was nice :)
@@sydneyhawkins1351 Stop please you're gonna make me cry aaaaaa 😭
Constance is so underrated. She's such a wonderful character, and this monologue is one of my favorite parts of the show!
I knowwwww. She’s my favorite but doesn’t get nearly as much love. Her monologue was genuinely beautiful
If it weren’t for Jane Doe, I would have wanted Constance to be brought back to life
The realisation that Constance has the top few buttons of her uniform undone because she lost her virginity a few hours before the accident
Holy shit I didn’t realize that
OH MY GOD
It hurts to think that her baby brother most likely wont remember her
man now why would u go and say that😭
LET ME BE HAPPY 💔💔💔
He may not remember her with his own memories, but Constance's family sounds like they'd keep her memory alive. It's so sad to think that he's never going to have any actual memories of his sister, but he'll be able to remember her through the shared memories of the family
NAH MAN WHY DID U HAVE TO SAY THAT
You made my eyes sweat.
Growing up fat, and having skinny "friends" like Ocean, Constance hits entirely too hard. I actually had to pause and just take a breath after "always laugh at guys' jokes or they'll think you're a cow". bc that's literally my experience. And Ocean being like "does she have self-esteem issues. sure. WHY WOULDN'T SHE". just. ugh. literally felt like I was watching my life up until I was like 24 in her. underrated character for sure
I relate to her character a lot too but I am actually skinny and I'm male by the way. I relate to the bits about how she won the award for nicest girl and everyone wrote about how they never really knew her but she seemed nice. That hits hard for me because so many people always say they are my friends and that I'm nice and things but noone actually talks to me or anything in school except if the happen to pass me.
And when she says about going to parties and pretending like she's going to have a perfect time. I've never been to a party because who would even invite me to one but when I go to school or anything I always tell myself how I'm going to have a perfect day and pretend and try to put on a facade of some happiness. It never lasts nor works but still. Her character is really relatable to me even if she isn't my favourite generally.
Generally I like Noel because I wish I could be more like him in some ways and he's also just funny to watch. I also like Ocean so much because I just like those ambitious self absorbed characters lol.
100% agree about the "laugh at guys jokes" line. This monologue hit me way harder than I ever expected a musical with a number about a space cat Jesus to ever hit.
Hot take: Sugar Cloud hits harder than any other song in the musical for me. Yes, more than the Ballad of Jane Doe, Talia, It’s Not A Game/It’s Just A Ride. Something about hearing a kid find a love for life again, for all of the simple and easily overlooked parts of life again, after years of silent depression is just gut-wrenching and heartbreaking but hopeful in ways I cannot put into words. I love Constance, I love this song.
I absolutely love The Ballad of Jane Doe just as a performance piece, but Sugar Cloud knocks every other song down a peg. It leads into the vote and It’s Not a Game/It’s Just a Ride. It’s what really turns the show from a tragedy fest to a celebration of life with a positive takeaway.
@@GuiSmithTHIS!!!
I love the fact that Noel and Mischa should be actually a bit drunk during this scene, as they were drinking together right before it. Explains their little dorky synced dance during the recorder solo to me haha
something that i really love about the choreography of the overall musical, is that you can tell that everyone puts forth a different personality and interpretation of the moves. like, no one told them how to feel about it. it just adds so much character and i love it
no fr . you can see especially in this that ocean’s and jane’s movements are so different especially towards the end. like oceans are more confidently done and much larger movements, where jane just looks like she’s doing what was choreographed, which isnt a bad thing cause of the whole lack of identity thing . ricky’s are a lot more jumpy, lik he’s making up for the lack of mobility in his life, yet noel’s movements are more soft, and i hate to say it, stereotypical gay man, which is literally what he is. also the fact noel and ricky especially react positively to the confetti but in different ways makes me happy . and about mischa, he has that kind of bored attitude with his usually choreography, but you can tell he puts in a little more effort in this than usual
@@si_vu Noel is surprised and shocked at the confetti, but goes along with it, while Ricky almost gets more excited when he sees the confetti and starts smiling even wider.
I am not a man who cries often, yet I sob like a baby every time her monologue and song comes on. I am so happy for her. I am so fucking proud and I haven’t even gotten to know her for over two hours. She is alive, in spirit
This song simultaneously put me in a depression and dragged me out of one
Same shit
But one year after
I like how Sugar Cloud’s choreography feels less forced compared to the start of the play. It’s like Karnak knew he didn’t have to force the students into roles at this point. They’re all joining in of their own accord, no costumes needed, just being themselves, dancing in their own way but still in sync with each other, giving undivided attention to Constance. You see that same kind of choreography in “it’s just a ride” as well. After starting out this journey with so much discourse, they are finally “in sync” with one another.
The thing about the monologue, the thing that made me start bawling, is it's so incredibly cruel. It's heavily implied that Constance was depressed, or had otherwise become numb to the world. She spent years suffering in silence, wrapped up in self-loathing and regret, incapable of expressing herself. The Cyclone, the omen of death, is her favourite ride. Maybe its even her favourite BECAUSE it crashed.
And when the Cyclone starts to crash, she's flying: all those feelings she thought she'd lost, that she hadn't felt in forever, came rushing back all at once, in one perfect, beautiful epiphany. She realised how wonderful life could truly be.
And then she died.
After suffering for years, she's only allowed to live, to feel herself living, right as its about to be snatched away. For the last few seconds of her life, she realises how much she's going to miss it. What she's forced to leave behind.
Life is cruel to her even in death. It isn't release. It's robbery. And that's the most tragic thing of all
The person that plays Constance is unbelievably talented and her voice just gives me chills I feel like she is so underated this song has to be my favorite
Constance’s monologue is one of the saddest I have ever heard and there is a lot to look into but I saw discussed on a video compilation of the choreography that all the characters songs have choreographed that seem like the character is controlling them in a way but with constance the choreography is imperfect. Noel and Ricky get caught off guard by the confetti, at one point they are all doing different things that don’t go together or are even dancing, and they all look so genuinely happy. Constance doesn’t control them for her song they are all imperfect teenagers who are having real fun for the last time ever before their inevitable death and that is all she want for her and them. This song os so bittersweet to me. Seeing Micha and Noel head bang while Jane is bopping out holding the microphone and Constance is playing the flute like instrument makes me so happy.
okay, okay, but if the soloist are controlling their backround performers then can we discuss what that implies? like, I feel like Ocean insulting the choir is THE LEAST PROBLEMATIC THING that happened during the performances.
also I am pretty sure Constance is slaying the recorder
@@meepbeep2464Karnak choreographed some things for them, supposedly. Their wishes and experiences direct what happens onstage, but Karnak did all the choices for choreography.
But yes, there might be something Noel put out into the world that got kind of… unconsensual.
Constance’s monologue was… too relatable.. in a lot of ways..
man i totally feel you and am so sorry
This song feels like dancing in the rain. It’s cold, the your clothes are soggy, but you have never felt so alive. It comes right after such a heartbreaking monologue, one that speaks to me personally. And my god. Singing this song, with tears streaming down my face, was one of the best moments of my life. Everything felt so raw, but euphoric. I felt so sad but so so happy. Thank you.
YES YES YES I FEEL JUST LIKE THIS
REAL
So… I lost my virginity to a carnie in a porta potty before I died. Like three hours before. It was kinda porno. He was ancient. Like 32. He had this tattoo on his forearm: it was of two skeletons having sex. It said born to bone on the bottom. I fake laughed when he said that because you should always laugh at guy’s jokes or they’ll think you’re a cow. My mom and dad owned the Blackwood Cafe in town. It's been in our family since like, forever. The Blackwoods have been feeding Uranium City since they opened the mines. My family had pride when it came to that. Until I went to high school. Where having pride about our town was only like, the lamest thing you could think to believe. After a while I started feeling kinda crummy about stuff, like ashamed. At the cafe I would catch myself looking at my mom and thinking, what a loser. A stupid dead end loser in a stupid dead end town. My parents were good people. And all I could do was think horrible things about them. I really wish I’d never thought those things. But I got so angry that I was born in the only family in Uranium that raised their kid to think it was okay to do your working, living, and dying there and it… It got all kinds of poison after that.
Anyway, my virginity. I just wanted to get it out of the way. I just wanted to do it so I didn’t have to think about doing it anymore. No… Actually… I just wanted to lose it. In the worst horrible possible way. Constance the lifer lost it to a carnie in a crap box in a crappy town. Why of course she did. And then.. I rode the cyclone with the other kids in the choir. And that’s when the accident happened. We were at the top of the loop when the roller coaster made this kind of screaming metal sound. Sparks were shooting all over the place and then the screaming and the sparks just stopped. And there was like this… weightlessness. My heart jumped a gazillion beats a second but I didn’t scream like the other kids, no. I was just soaking it all in. Cuz on a certain level it was so rad. And it was like something unlocked in me. My heart welled up with all this love for everything. Images and all this feeling flooded into me like… like climbing back into my bed in the morning and feeling the warmth left over from my body. Hanging upside down from the monkey bars until my head starts to tingle. Smelling jiffy markers. Putting glue on my fingers and chewing it off, listening to music and dancing around my room before going out to a party and pretending like i'm going to have the perfect time. Finishing an essay, undoing a knot, pizza night, halloween, watching my baby brother dance naked to abba, being in the choir at the height of the hallelujah chorus and feeling all of the voices rattle my bones. I started laughing like a crazy person, giddy with endorphins. All dancing leprechauns, and rainbows and unicorns, streams of chocolate, whirling rides, flashing lights - there's no shame in loving my small town. The only good things that happened to me happened in Uranium. It took a horrible accident for me to realize how goddamn wonderful everything is.
YES I NEEDED THIS
This makes me cry bro- I love Constance so much
RHANK TOU
THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MVP ONG 🙏🙏🙏
tysm
Dear lord, this show hits me so hard. I've also been there and been "the nicest kid in town" and I know what it's like to be forgotten and left behind like this. I've never seen a character hit so close to home for me. The only one who's ever even come close is Sonya from Great Comet
I didn’t cry for the entirety of ride the cyclone. Not Even for ballad of jane doe or Talia. But Constance’s monologue, and Sugar Cloud, got me SOBBING. I was going through a tough time when it came to the concept of death when I watched the show for the first time, and her monologue genuinely pulled me out of that constant fear and paranoia I was feeling. Her song reminded me about all the amazing little bits of life and childhood. How even if I could die at any moment there will always be those little happy memories to be proud of. This made me proud of who I am know, instead of scared I’ll never grow old enough to become something greater.
I'm performing her monologue from "I rode the cyclone with the other kids and thats when the accident happened" for an audition this weekend. is there anything I can do that you can think that could bring some of that?
@@NoelGruberButBetter I would just try and replicate the way she talks to the audience, it feels very _real_ in a strange sort of way
this is how I felt about It's not a game/it's just a ride, it still highlights the fact we can't control what happens in our lives, how long we live, when we die, and what happens after it. But, despite all the nihilism(? not sure if I am using that word right) it send the message that controlling is not the point, its about being content with what you can control and just enjoy life.
Ricky's the one to give her the mic because he knows what it's like to live without really being seen or heard
Also Connie was probably one of the few people that treated him like he was a teenager unlike Ocean who treated him like a toddler. Probably why she was chosen to play his mum during the flashback sequence.
I wonder if Ocean mentioning how Constance was gonna be a "soccer mom" in the future was foreshadowing of how her life actually would have ended up, had she not gone on the cyclone. Constance had just lost her virginity, and most likely wasn't wearing a condom or on birth control. Maybe if she hadn't gotten on the cyclone, she might have ended up pregnant and a single mom. I dont know, just a midnight thought I had
Wow 💀 We'll never know ig
Oh😨
All things considered, it’s safe to assume that though Ocean's putting them down was cruel and a very narcissistic thing to do, realistically she would be mostly right. The other students would have ended up living those lives, and with how Constance got into a situation only stopped by her death, it nearly got realised.
WOAH
Bruh this fandom is so problematic. 😓😓Nothing in Ocean's song was right because Ocean was too self-centered to realize shit about the other choir members, even her best friend. So to think her assessments of them have any weight is disgusting. Why would you say "she most likely wasn't on birth control" most 17-year-old girls are even if they aren't having sex actively. This just tells me you are a kid. We'll never know what Constance would have become, that is the point. And the point of the whole entire musical was that her life was just as valuable as Ocean's along with the other choir members. But no, when you guys aren't ignoring her the fandom has to always make Constance out to be stupid, boring, and unsuccessful for some reason. Probably because she isn't a skinny and white female character. The whole point is that the choir was so much more than what people thought of them, especially what Ocean thought of them. Ocean even SAYS this herself. Yet you people don't have the empathy to get the whole point of this musical.
one of the hardest hitting parts of the show. so underrated and wonderfully done
“I just wanted to lose it in the most horrible possible way”
hits hard for me. I did that too, only a year or two older than her.
Poor self esteem and thinking your life will go nowhere makes you do stupid shit and get taken advantage of by shitty people.
constance my BABY i love her so much. her monologue hits me in a super personal place, and the way lillian performs her is just impeccable. growing up a mousy, nerdy, scaredy kid i relate a lot to this character-- but it hurts more knowing she never had the chance to grow up and find herself like i did :( like yeah ik she's a fictional high schooler from the rollercoaster musical but still
EDIT: i'm in tears as the song starts...and then i see jane dancing her lil spooky heart out lmao. bless her
Something I love about this "version" of the song is, that the flute-part goes high and not low like on spotify etc. it was probs not on purpose but in my opinion its better this way
Her monologue is def my favourite! Makes my eyes well up every time
*Cries like a baby*
constance my beloved
MY FIRST TIME WATCHING IT I CRIED LIKE A BABY TOO MAN
Their lil dance: 7:13
The recorder solo: 7:43
Ricky and noel being suprised by the sparkles: 8:25
7:51 THEY WAY NOEL AND MISCHA SYNCHRONIZED THE SECOND THEY MADE EYE CONTACT 😭😭😭😭
@@Caineedssleepi just remembered they were drunk in this
I could write a whole essay about Constance’s experiences and how I relate to them cause gosh. Her mindset about things is so similar to mine, I bet if I would have been in her shoes I would have ended up like her.
Genuinely would read it all
Write it! Most people would read it, im sure
I relate to Constance alot more than i should. I was a kid born in a small middle of nowhere town in Oklahoma. But i wanted nothing more than to leave but, being outside of that dumbass town right now makes me feel sick. That stupid town is where i met some of my closest friends, where i discovered my true gender identity. Where I've lived for as long as I can remember. I could never leave this town i love it here
Oh heck yeah another okie
@@unrelatablecontent629 yoo
SAME BRO
i dont think this is the right response, im just excited to see another okie with the same feelings as i do
@@graveyard_ghoxt I think it's the right response
Oki gang
this song hurts in all the best ways, and her monologue gets me every time. i wish there was more fan content that delved into her character, especially the carnie. it really fascinates me, and i just wish people talked about it more, and about how horrible the carnie is, constance was only seventeen and he was 32. i just wish it was talked about more.
the fact everybody looks like its them willfully doing it 😭😭
ricky tapping connies shoulder 🥹🥹
Out of all the songs in the musical, this one hit me the most. Not because I can relate to the character honestly. But because it's suuuch a healthy mindset that I often tend to forget. Wrapping my hear around being productive and aiming high, sometimes you forget what happiness the little things can bring you. Reminds me how my most beloved time of the day would be coming home late after highschool and gym, and I would just drop on the floor for my little dog to come by to greet me and lay down next to me. She might be gone now, but there's always a chance to love life in all its ups and down
What credit to her to going through this whole thing without breaking, even while people keep coughing. that's amazing.
i honestly relate to Constance a lot, and something that hits me the most when listening to this is “watching my baby brother dance naked to ABBA.”
I’ve had so many thoughts about just ending it all. every single day, every week, every month, every year. I’ve thought of it. I’ve thought of giving up, I’ve thought of just putting myself out of my misery because why not? everyone’s better without me anyways, I’m pathetic and don’t deserve to be loved, I’m a useless whore of a daughter that isn’t capable of being “normal” or being pretty or being liked or being loved or just simply being cared for by my own parents. I don’t deserve a life, right?
and it’s true. all of those things are true. but then i remember my brother. he’s 8, currently. I’m 4 years older than him. I remember my friends online, even though one of them kinda left me I still have my online family. I remember my pets. my cat, my dogs.
my brother is probably one of the most important things in my life. he makes everything better. I remember watching him in the bath as a baby and cleaning him while my mom was busy, playing games with him, watching him as a baby dance in his diaper to some dumb song on the TV, sleeping together and holding him in my arms listening to his little breaths and the feeling of his back moving up and down against my forehead.
what kind of sister would I be to just leave him behind? to leave my brother just a boy? I refuse to make my brother, the boy I protect from my parents and comfort him when they’re arguing or mad, the boy I basically mothered at 8 years old because my dad was deployed and my mom was too tired or busy to do it, the boy who’s tears I wiped, I REFUSE to make him an only child. until I finally give up and can’t keep going anymore, I’ll be there for him. ill watch him dance in pajamas to songs he likes and play games with him and have fights with him just to make up right after and hold him in my arms, to listen to his tiny breaths and embrace the feeling of his back rising up and down against my forehead. until then, I’ll stay here to take care of him and protect him from my parents.
4:45
I promise you that there is more good in the world than you will ever be able to see and all those things you said aren’t true. You are so young and I was you once, and you can’t even begin to imagine the changes your life will bring and they won’t all be good but life is not stagnet. This isn’t forever, and if you can hold on, for your brother and your pets and your friends, there will be something else, and there will be so much more to love and explore. Please don’t kill yourself
I'm sorry. I hope everything gets better. Please do not kill yourself, you seem like a very good person, the world needs people like you. I hope you get to see your brother grow up, I hope everything goes well for the two of you.
Sorry, I am not good at communicating my thoughts, this comment is the best I could do.
I hope everything goes well in your life and your brother's life.
7:45 jane doe holding the microphone for constance is soo nice of her :)
3:30 Saving this for an audition to practice!
We were at the top of the loop when the roller coaster made this kind of screaming metal sound. Sparks were shooting all over the place and then the screaming and the sparks just stopped. And there was like this… weightlessness. My heart jumped a gazillion beats a second but I didn’t scream like the other kids, no. I was just soaking it all in. 'Cause on a certain level it was so rad. And it was like something unlocked in me. My heart welled up with all this love for everything. Images and all this feeling flooded into me like… like climbing back into my bed in the morning and feeling the warmth left over from my body.
Hanging upside down from the monkey bars until my head starts to tingle. Smelling jiffy markers. Putting glue on my fingers and chewing it off, listening to music and dancing around my room before going out to a party and pretending like I'm going to have the perfect time. Finishing an essay, undoing a knot, pizza night, Halloween, watching my baby brother dance naked to ABBA, being in the choir at the height of the Hallelujah chorus and feeling all of the voices rattle my bones. I started laughing like a crazy person, giddy with endorphins. All dancing leprechauns, and rainbows and unicorns, streams of chocolate, whirling rides, flashing lights - there's no shame in loving my small town. The only good things that happened to me happened in Uranium. It took a horrible accident for me to realize how goddamn wonderful everything is.
yo! doing this for an audition this weekend!
@@NoelGruberButBetter Break a leg!! What's the audition for?
@@CelestialBug thank you!! general auditions for the season at a theatre company
Her monologue always hit me so hard, it makes me realize how much I love living despite the amount of time I spend thinking about how much I don't want to. It makes me remember the times that I do feel pure happiness and how much I wanna stay around just for those moments even if it is hard.
Hold on...is the carnie the same dude that plays Virgil, just without the mask? That's so brilliant. It's a way of showing just how much of a creep the carnie was. He was a literal rat. I can't believe I'm just now noticing that
dude yes that makes so much sense too
I believe he's played by Gus, who plays Mischa.
As far as I’m aware, usually one of the choir members is the rat in a typical seven performer production. The choir plays all the extra roles with costumes, props, and occasionally silly voices.
Imagine losing your viginity at a circus then dying 3 hours before
Like
What???
To a 32 year old that took advantage of you
@@Sillygooseeeeee3 even worse
I wonder how Ocean felt after this.
I mean, Ocean made fun of so many people, but calling Constance a "soccer mom" and saying she has confidence issues must've hit hard after knowing what she went through
No cause like if Constance wasn’t dead the dude she lost her vrgirinty to would b in jail.. she said he was like 30, and she’s like 17??..
Her monologue is longer than her song
Yet I love it!
Facts
Ok, we all know how amazing and emotional this is, I'm not lying when I say I cried multiple times during her monologue and song. But Noel and Mischa headbanging together was oddly adorable and gives me the will to live. Just Noel looking over and seeing Mischa headbanging and joining in, it's makes me smile everytime.
just her monolouge alone brought a tear dear gods
You are a saint for this
I love her. She deserves the world ❤️
8:32 I know she was probably supposed to but I love Ocean just looking straight at Constance, like the stage direction says she does at the end, "as if seeing her friend for the first time." This whole part of the show (Jawbreaker monologue, Sugar Cloud, Ocean's silent apology) hits me sosososo hard. I love this show SO MUCH!!!
They did her dirty in the soundtrack, ricky too
I totally agree, this version just has infinitely more emotion and pathos. This feels like a full release of it all, it feels more sterile on the recording. Which sucks cause this song is everything to me
Forreal
frrr i love the lyrics in this one wayy better than the soundtrack one
@@st4rs.collide i know, and the vocals are just amazing, gives me chills every time
Seriously they did! Lillian Costello still knocked it out of the park, but God damn were the lyric, orchestration, and vocal direction changes so fucking unnecessary
Her monologue never fails to make me tear up. I think I relate to her in a lot of ways. Her words just really hit me every time.
enough about nischa. let my lady constance have her MOMENT
constance did NOT be a pushover all musical just for you guys to (for her ONE MOMENT) talk about other characters. almost every comment is about noel or mischa and it is making me go ballsack crazy. yes i get it: nischa is cool. gus halper is hot. ocean is lowkey feeling it. BUT EVERY COMMENT IS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE. constance is very well developed and you all do not see that because YOU ALL PUSH HER ASIDE TOO and you only pay attention to your queerbaited ships. read a room
(yes i am a salty lillian castillo dickrider leave me alone)
OMG THIS IS SO REAL I WAS LIEK “why is everyone talking abt nischa when constance is giving it her all” 😭😭
exactly
Lyrics to this version of the song! 5:31
[CONSTANCE]
I used to think that life was just a jawbreaker
Yeah you suck, and you suck, and you suck, and you suck
And you suck some more
Yeah, you suck some more
At first, it seemed so sweet
And the colors come and go
Like the seasons come and go
The slush and rain and snow
'til you can't taste no more
[CHOIR]
So you suck some more
[CONSTANCE]
I used to think that life was just a heartbreaker
That just breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks
And it breaks 'til you can't break no more
[CHOIR]
'Til you can't take no more
[CHOIR (except CONSTANCE)]
AAAH...OOH
AAAH...OOH
[CONSTANCE]
I see the world with all its backwards upside down
There's nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town
Oh, everything's clеar
Now that I'm here on my sugar cloud
Oh my soul it sings a song so sweet and pure
I'vе felt it all along but now I'm sure
Oh everything's love, looking down from above
On my sugar cloud
Let me take you away, to a sky of cotton candy
Show you the world from on high
Up-up-up-up and above, oh my sugarcoated dandy
Will you love me 'til the day that I die?
For a day-
I see the gold, I see the pink, I see the blue
The sun goes up, the sun goes down
Oh what to do?
Oh everything's clear, now that I'm here
On my sugar cloud
[FLUTE SOLO! :D]
[CHOIR (CONSTANCE)]
I used to think that life was just a jawbreaker
(Jawbreaker!)
You suck, and you suck,
And you suck some more
I used to think that life was just a heartbreaker
[ALL]
It burns and it turns 'til you can't take no more
[CONSTANCE]
And now I'm floating high on a cloud
And I could puke a rainbow
[CHOIR]
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh
La la la la la!
(party popper)
[CONSTANCE]
I see the world with all its backwards upside down
There's nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town
Oh, everything's clear
Now that I'm here on my sugar cloud
Now everything's love, looking down from above
On my sugar cloud
Now everything's clear
Now that I'm here on my sugar cloud
Look at me now on my
Sugar cloud
🤘
Constance should've been the one to be brought back to life. Change my mind
Constance definitely also deserved to be revived but sadly not as much as Jane Doe.
everyones talking about constance while im giggling and kicking my feet because gus halper
The fact that noel and mischa were drunk is so much better
@@Caineedssleep STOP I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME
I think the monologue captures teenage insecurity and misunderstanding of the world around them. Constance was just a teenager who had the angst, the culture of the school ruined what was so true and wholesome. A family proud of the work they put into their life and she was just too young and inexperienced to understand that until it was too late. Being the nicest kid in school; she wanted just attention to be more than just this nice kid who really was not noteworthy outside of her compliance and kindness. Her insecurities about her home life, circumstances, and pressures of her peers just had her internalize such awful thoughts. Even going as far to just sleep with a carnie just to be part of the culture.. She at least lost her virginity like all the other girls... right?
But all it takes is one awful accident or event to put EVERYTHING into perspective. That there is some gold in the all the grim. Her kindness is not a weakness or flaw, just a talent she didn't realize the beauty in the good things she's experienced and given. Everything she's enjoyed and all is better than she really ever gave it credit for.
Why is she the like the most relatable character?
BEST CHARACTER.
This out of every other part was the one that made me cry upon my first watching
(And my second)
This monologue and song illustrates the feeling I could never describe before
And I love this musical so much
Constance is my favorite character in this whole musical
This whole,,,, EVERYTHING makes me cry every time without fail. The bit where she's almost crying because she hates how she thought bad about her parents. Remembering all the little good things in life as she was dying. THE BIT WHERE SHE SAID SHE DIED LAUGHING???? Can we talk a bit about that please?? She was clearly so sad in life, always underappreciated, shoved to the side, not gonna diagnose anyone but given what I'm going through right now and Constance's monologue I would bet she had depression, and yet when push finally came to shove the thing that she thought about in her final moments was everything she enjoyed. A rush of happiness that she rarely felt finally pushed through the walls and just- you heard what she said. "I started laughing like a crazy person, giddy with endorphins."
Idk I just relate to Constance on a lot of levels (I too am a teenager with probably depression who is constantly in crisis, reduced to the "nice girl" (which is even worse bc I'm 90% sure that I'm not even fully a girl-), and thinking horrible things about my amazing parents and hating myself for it) and her entire monologue makes me cry every single time. But also the fact that she was happy during her last moments in life gives me hope, in a morbid sort of way?? If you know that you can experience joy and life in even the most horrible of moments, then it's not impossible to experience it on a normal day too, if that makes sense :/
(also I really really love the beginning of sugar cloud. Like the quiet "I used to think that life was just a jawbreaker" 5:32 to about 7:11 just hits me so hard
I've spent 2022 battling an illness and depression. This year I started working and to some people it might seem dull but honestly, it's so fun to appreciate the little things that come with it. Watching opossums steal cat's food, meeting someone named Bruce Lee, just drinking some coffee with my colleagues while waiting for the rain to pass... It makes me feel more alive than ever. I totally relate to this song
Constance honestly should’ve been the one to be brought back
Fr
But the entire point of the show is that when you live there's no need to come back. That even though their lives were short they were still full. So that would ruin the message.
@@gwenethp511 I agree
they don’t come back with the memories of limbo. and the only reason she is content with her town is because she died l
if she were to come back she would just continue hating her town and hating her family
I love constance but jane should’ve been the one to be brought back
The song is almost as beautiful as the sentiment behind it. It's the perfect song to end on
.
the last piece of confetti has me DYING everytime i watch this video i CANT
this hits so hard oh my god i love constance
Wanted? Needed. Makes me cry every time
This is and forever will be my favorite version of the song AND my favorite RTC song, combines with the monologue it rasonates insanely with me. I had gone through some pretty big life changes when i watched the musical for the first time and this whole part left me jawdropped, istg i LOVE everything about this musical--
getting emotional whiplash
the whole show kinda feels like that-- cute/funny moments followed by something absolutely heartbreaking, or that but in reverse
RtC has such a unique vibe, i feel like the emotional whiplash (or perhaps...an emotional rollercoaster? lmao) suits the story and characters super well.
The guitar part is just like Macy's day parade by Green Day
You’re so right omfg
Just a reminder that Misha and Noel were drunk during this.
To be fair, I’m assuming it was Jane Doe’s “borthday” (get the joke?) before this song, and you know that on “borthdays” you get drunk LOL
Does anyone seeing this know of any links in the naming of constance blackwood in rtc and the constance blackwood in Shirley Jackson's 'we have always lived in the castle' as an obscure name, I'm guessing they're connected. If so it gives insight into constances family's pride in their home town which is so ironically opposite in the novel and also the sense of isolation at home. I'm sure there's much more I could pick out but just wanted to know if people could comment more :)
For my own conscience i like to imagine they all got to live after all
I did the soundtrack version of the monologue for an audition. I got the role of Constance in an online production
Thank you for uploading!! I would gladly pay you for a copy of the whole show haha
mega.nz/file/LSg1yCJL#9sAXNBL-hhVoVgWaxhJFEudvvfc8M3omfYRw-Ow3OZM
Downloaded show from here
I relate to her so bad oh mygod
jane fr vibing
Her monologue makes me want to cry
i wish i knew about rtc a year sooner. last year in english class our final was to analyze and perform a monologue, and i wish i had known about this one because i relate to it a lot (more the "only one who doesn't hate the small town i grew up in" part than the "lost her v card to a carnie in a portapotty" part) and it really hits hard. i wish that sentiment was something i could have expressed then
3:20 time stamp for an audition I have coming up
8:55 LITERAL CHILLS
I like both this version and the soundtrack version even tho they sound different looool
her monologue always makes me cry
hee monologue actually makes me so sad omg??? 🙁
I love constance bro 😾🙌 HER SONG MAKES ME UGLY CRY EVERYTIME
WILL YOU LOVE ME TILL THE DAY THAT I DIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
thank you for posting this! I'm going to use this to practice for my theater class since it's been a while since I've seen Ride the Cyclone :)
me siento identificado
The way the first thing she admitted was losing her vcard
this song makes me not afraid to die. thank you
WEEPING SO HARD RN.
5:32 start of song for anyone who wants to skip the monologue